Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


DEC 13, 2020


     When do we realize the type of love we really want? Can we find true love in our first love? Will our second or third love be our forever love? How many times will a person be in love before they find the right love? Can someone give more than one type of love? We love how we understand it and accept love differently at different times, sometimes in more than one event simultaneously, with the same person. Everyone will experience at least 7 events of love in their lifetime.

THE CRUSH. The crush is the first time you see a pretty girl or cute boy. It’s normally one-sided. It’s when you see the pretty smart girl with the cute boy in class, and you like them because they’re the best-looking kids you know. It’s when you both like each other, but you’re too embarrassed to say anything because if you’re a boy, your friends still think liking girls is metaphorically “Yucky,” and girls think boys are too immature.

PUPPY LOVE. Extremely temporary, depending on where and how you know each other. If they’re your school “Puppy,” it’ll be a shorter length of time before it fizzles out, and it’ll be like it never happened. You stop and move on to somebody else without warning; you had to hear it from someone else. This love consists of everyone knowing you’re together—Note-passing and eating lunch. Maybe holding hands. No phone calls or communication outside of school. If your puppy is from the neighborhood, you’ll play together, maybe hold hands and such, but it’s 100% clean. You can still be trusted to be alone together, and your parents think it’s cute.

1st GROWN LOVE. You’re convinced you to know what love is. Your parents don’t understand this love because things have changed since they were younger. You’re in high school now, and you know you’re in love. The false “Forever” love. The love that makes you think you’re old enough to have sex. 1ST grown love is where you’ll make most of your sexual mistakes and regrets. You’ll be the most selfish and the most gullible when it comes to sex. You’ll never be more susceptible to manipulation. You’ll want to prove you’re in love so bad, and you’ll send naked photos of yourself, have sex when you’re not ready, or defy your parents for the person you love.

     You’ll establish what type of sexual partner you’re going to be for most of your adult life. This is the love you think makes you’re grown, but you still run to your parents when you need them. Your world’s coming to an end when you break up.

     This is the most dangerous event of love. “I know what I’m doing,” love. “We’re going to be together forever” false fairytale love. This is a prom date, love; you have the best, your small town has to offer love. The love you think will survive 4 years at different colleges, or when he comes back from boot camp, you’re going to move away and live happily ever after love.

     1st grown love is dangerous because it cultivates jealousy, abuse, and maniacal love. This love turns men possessive and physically abusive. The love that makes stalkers or punching bags. This love makes females define or exploit themselves sexually to compensate for their fathers' issues or with the sexual abuse they’ve suffered. Best of the worst case, you get their name tattooed on your body somewhere or an STD; worst case, you end up having a child before you graduate, and now you’re a parent, trying to get your diploma or GED. You had to drop out to start hustling or go on government assistance. Your dreams are on hold. The more people who try to get you to see this isn’t true love, the more you’ll fight to prove it is.

HEARTBREAKER. The love that does the most damage. Marriage. Children. The right after college and the beginning of your career's love—honeymoon love. You’ve begun your life together, love. Everything you’ve planned for, love. The heartbreaker is the house, cars, family, and vacation love. The love that moves you from the city to the suburbs. The heartbreaker is where you’ll fuck up the worst; you’ll never feel more pain in your life than during the heartbreaker. Cheating. Financial problems. Kids acting out. Separation. Divorce. Fighting. Feeling like a failure. Depression. Death. Dual parenting. Emotional and physical abuse.

     The heartbreaker is the love you gave your partner and trusted them not to destroy you with it, and they decimated you to a cellular level. Women will have at least 2-3 heartbreakers in her life; men will only have one. After that, he’ll shield himself from any future risk and treat every woman he meets like a potential heartbreaker; that’s what’ll make him a player and fear future commitment. He’ll never let another woman get that close to his heart again.

     Emotional and physical changes happen during the heartbreaker. You gain weight. Accidents and illnesses. You become set in your ways and refuse to change to save your relationship because no one’s said anything before. The heartbreaker builds the walls to protect yourself from being hurt or falling for the same shit again. The heartbreaker is where men enter their mid-life crisis. Women are deciding to be career singles or jump from one relationship to another.

THE REBOUND. Temporary love you think is love before you realize it isn’t loving. Rebound love is the love that gets you through the end of the heartbreaker. Only one of you feels rebound love, and it’ll be the one who didn’t just have their heart stomped on. The rebounder is for healing and distraction purposes only. You want to love the rebound; they treat you the way you wanted your heartbreaker to treat you. No matter how bad you want to love the rebound, you won’t. That’s not their job or purpose. They could be someone you know who loves you, and that made it easier to open yourself to them and feel comfortable wanting to love them, but it doesn’t matter. They’re to fill the hole the heartbreaker ripped into you.

ACCIDENTAL (TRUE) LOVE. True love. The love you weren’t looking for. You found it because you didn’t think it was out there; that’s why you found it. Actually, it found you. The accident is different from any other love before it. More interracial and multi-ethnic relationships come from this love event. Unplanned love. You weren’t in the right place to meet anyone, but you did, and the rest is history. You were out for the night with your friends, and you just met.

     The accident’s where you’ll be the most sexually comfortable. By now, you know what type of sex you want to give and receive without focusing on what others think. Your happiness is more important than anyone else’s opinion, and if they can’t support who you love, you can do without them. You won’t settle. The chemistry between you and your accident was amazing from the beginning. Before you knew it, you were spending all your time together.

     Time drags on when you’re not together but moves at warp speed when you are. Conversations last for hours. You text to say good morning or to let each other know you were thinking about them. The accident takes you back to puppy love. Time frames and schedules don’t exist; everything’s organic, and everything happens when it feels right. Accidental love doesn’t need definition through conversation; it’s just understood. Saying I love you comes naturally to both of you.

THE FUGITIVE. The one that got away. The fugitive can cross your path at any time in your life. The fugitive was the right person at the wrong place and time and got caught in your indecisive bullshit. You weren’t ready to settle down, or you thought you could do better. You were scared of change, even if it was best for you. The fugitive still crosses your mind, even if you’re happy with someone else. You chose something or someone else over your fugitive because you weren’t ready.

     The fugitive is your “Ah-ha” event. They taught you about yourself without saying a word, AFTER they got away. They taught you what important, not money, cars, looks, etc., was. They made you realize your love languages, fears, needs, and what you truly had to offer. They saw through you and could’ve saved you from yourself and from burning the bridges. They could’ve kept you from a lot of bullshit you brought on yourself. They could’ve been your first grown and protected you from your heartbreaker, but you weren’t mature enough to accept them.

     The fugitive is the love you needed when it came. The commitment and stability that would’ve made you better. You ran from the fugitive because you were scared of settling down. The fugitive had a child, and you weren’t ready for that. The thought of being a prisoner at home is what you thought would happen. They were more of a homebody, and you still wanted to close down the bars and clubs.

     Love is a weird thing as it is, but how many times can we place ourselves in the crosshairs of love and get a different outcome? When do we find the type of love we’re really searching for? How much real life must we go through before we find the love we want and deserve?



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


DEC 06, 2020


     It’s not bad sex; it’s just not the best sex you’ve ever had. It’s nothing to brag or write home about, but you also have no complaints about it either. It’s barely in the top 50%, but it’s good enough to get you off and keep you around when there’s something else to gain by staying around.

     Will a man lie to a woman about her being better at sex than she really is? Absolutely. Women lie to men; why would you think men don’t do the same? Men tell women she’s better than she really is because he needs her car to get back and forth to work. He needs a place to live. She takes care of him. She’s never been complimented on her sex nowhere near as much as he does, and she wants that to continue. No man has ever praised her oral skills, much less with as much enthusiasm, excitement, and detail, and she loves it; she can’t hear it enough. She jumps at every chance to give it up when he comes calling for it.

     She pays his rent when he’s short and gives him money or buys him gifts when he makes little side comments about wanting something but can’t afford it. Her social status upgrades him and gives him access to resources he could never get on his own. She’s professional, and her friends are in the medical, legal, or computer field, and by association, they’re his friends as well. She’s his doorway to other women he’d never get without her, and they want to do more for him than she will to pull him away. She’s his walking, talking commercial to her sexually unhappy and frustrated friends who’d love a man to tell them they give amazing sex. They all talk to each other about their sex life because they’re not experienced enough to know they shouldn’t talk about it. He’s telling her how great she is, she’s telling her friends how great he is, and now they want some of what you’re getting.

     She does “Mom” things for him, and he doesn’t want to give that up. She does his laundry, cooks his meals, cleans and picks up after him, plus gives him sex when he wants it. To him, that makes the mediocre sex worth it.

     He tells her she’s better than she really is because she believes she’s better than she really is. She put him on the spot in front of her friends. Every man has told her she’s got gold between her legs for the same reason you’re telling her she’s got gold between her legs because she’s giving you sex. She says and thinks she’s better than she really is, and he doesn’t want to comment negatively. He doesn’t want to piss her off or mess with her head and risk losing out on sex for such a stupid reason. It doesn’t matter to him if she’s good or not, as long as her shit doesn’t smell like old, sour ranch dressing and warm tuna, and he gets to cum.

     They work together, and he wants to avoid pissing her off and having to answer to HR over some bullshit if/when they break up. He was stupid and started sleeping with his boss, and he wants to keep his damn job. He’ll lie because he wants a raise or promotion. He’ll lie because he wants to pass math, and while she may be average at sex, she’s a hell of a tutor.

     He’ll lie to her because she’s pretty; he’ll lie to her because she’s popular. He’ll lie to her because he knows every guy will lie to her when they find out having sex with her is like getting an expensive gift wrapped in the plain white paper a butcher wraps meat with. She’s sexy as hell with a rocking body but having sex with her is like studying in school. You have to read a boring damn book to pass, but the A you get on the exam barely makes it worth the headache.

     Her place is a great place for his friends to hang out; her friends are great choices for his friends. Her place is a nicer, better place for his kids. He’ll lie to her because he’s sick of her asking if he’s happy with her. She’s constantly using creams, lotions, and potions, along with every product any snake oil salesman has to offer. She wants to look younger or feel better or tighter when her man’s inside of her. He’s sick of hearing what she doesn’t like about herself, especially when he’s trying to get some ass. She picks that time to go through all the things she hates about herself, and that’s when she’ll start squeezing, pulling, flapping, and jiggling her body fat or asks if he agrees with her self-assessment.

     He loves and cares about her; that’s why he lied to her about being better than she really is. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He knows she has self-image issues. He’ll lie to keep her from accusing him of looking somewhere else or going to find someone who can satisfy him, even if he isn’t. She’ll have a hard time believing him because he’s a man and sex is important to him.

     He doesn’t get many women who want to have sex with him, and he’s getting it regularly now. He’s lying about liking all of her sex because she gives him a particular type of sex or performs something special he does like. He’s never had “Freaky” sex before and doesn’t want it to stop. Even though it’s slightly average, at least he’s getting it and wants to keep it coming. He’ll keep her on the line, even if he finds better sex. He can go back to her if/when things go sideways and end it with the new woman. He’ll lie about how good she is, so she thinks she’s so good he’ll be faithful. There’s no reason to cheat or meet anyone else or go somewhere else. His compliments reassure her he won’t leave.

       He’ll lie to her because it’ll make her want to keep his praise and compliments coming. She’ll even step up the tempo and what she’s willing to do if she thinks he’s starting to get bored. He’ll set her up to ramp up what she’ll do to maintain being the best he tells her she is, or even get her actually to strive to be better. He’ll have her trying to outdo their last experience. He lies to her because she swallows, or he doesn’t need to use protection with her. He lies to her to keep her from finding a man who’ll actually enjoy her sex. He’ll even lie to his friends about how good his woman is to justify why he’s with someone like her.

    Men will lie and play down a woman’s sexual ability when she’s actually better than he’s ever had before. He won’t lie and tell her she’s not good; he’ll play her down to keep her from getting a swelled head. He’ll lie to keep her from using sex as a reward or punishment. If she knew exactly how good she is, she’d try to outdo herself each time and get him whipped on her. He’ll play down how good she is to keep her from using sex to control the relationship.

     He doesn’t want to admit she’s the best he’s ever had. That’s too much power to give. His pride is at stake; she’s damn good, and he tries his best not to show it. Sometimes he can’t help it. He’ll play her down, so she doesn’t think that’s the only reason he’s with her. He won’t tell her how good she really is, so she doesn’t realize she may be too good for him, and she doesn’t deserve the bullshit he puts her through. If she knew how good she really was, she’d find someone who’d appreciate her for more than just great sex, especially if she knows he doesn’t find her as attractive as he used to or ever did.

     He wants her to go past her regular boundaries and stretch her freak wings. She loves him or wants a relationship with him, so she’ll ramp up her performance to win him over. She’ll try to sex him into a commitment.

     Men lie to convince themselves she’s not as good as she really is because he’ll have to admit he’s not as good as he thinks he is. He may have to realize he’s had women lie to him about how good he is, and he’s had quite a few women fake their orgasms. He’ll play down how good she is to keep her from thinking he’s not good and look for someone who can keep up with her. He won’t see it as her not wanting anything to lose him; he thinks she wants to humiliate him, especially if his friends find out he can barely handle the sex she’s putting on him.

    He doesn’t want to accept someone else taught her the freaky, nasty shit he likes and has him strung out on her sex like a drug addict. He doesn’t want to risk finding out she’s still holding back because he can barely handle what she’s giving him now; there’s no way he could take all of what she has to offer, and that’ll twist his head up so bad, he’ll walk out or cheat on her to actually find someone who’s not as good as she is.

     Why lie? For the same reason, men and women fake orgasms. Faking is more for physical reasons; lying or playing up or down her skills is more emotional and mental. For whatever reason, lying up or down is theoretically never a good thing. Still, sometimes it is necessary for the relationship's fluidity as it stands, and sometimes the truth isn’t worth the result. Choose your lie wisely, though.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 29, 2020


     Holidays are special to everybody for different reasons. We celebrate important people or events in history. Holidays remind us of something or someone we recognize as worthy of remembrance for their actions, words, or achievements and accomplishments. A relationship could be the same way; at least a true relationship should be.

     A holiday relationship can be a beacon or a detour; and an inspiration or reminder of how evil we’ve been. Holidays give us hope for the future; holidays are history lessons and proof of our evolution. Some help us not to repeat the mistakes of the past. Ask yourself if your relationship was a holiday, which holiday would be best to describe yours? Would it be a celebration or a history lesson to avoid repeating? Would it be recognition or remembrance/reminder? Otherwise, you’d forget altogether? A holiday relationship shouldn’t be a one time or irregular thing; if your relationship’s founded on the once a year holiday calendar, that’s pretty sad.

     NEW YEAR’S EVE/DAY - You’re healed over your breakup, and you’re ready to accept being by yourself or with someone who isn’t a rebound or distraction from dealing with heartache. You resolve not to be so guarded, to give up being a player or party girl. It’s time to put the bullshit aside and settle down. You’re going to be a better parent and a better spouse. You’re going to spend more time as a family. It’s about being better than you were last year, the day before, or even better than your last relationship. You’ve resolved to leave the past in the past and focus on the future, along with the good times ahead to be had. You realize the mistakes you made and take steps to avoid repeating them. A New Year’s day relationship is the start of a new chapter in your life. Good or bad, you’re able to celebrate the good times but also bury the bad and leave it there, without leaving the handle sticking up to swing when things go sideways.

     LABOR DAY - Celebrate the fruits of the work you put in every day to make your relationship work. Labor Day in your relationship is the day to look back and appreciate each other for sticking it out and working it out. This is the day to appreciate each other for seeing the value in one another and the relationship. Telling each other how they made things easy to be faithful and supportive during the relationship is equally as important as the celebration. Show how much you love them for being worth the work or “Labor” you both have contributed to making things work. The labor day relationship is knowing any relationship worth having is worth working to make it work, and credit should be shared, and the work celebrated.

     THANKSGIVING - Give thanks he stayed around when you got pregnant when so many men are bailing out on their responsibilities. Give thanks you met a good man who took on your kids from your previous marriage or relationship and loved them like they were his own. You fucked around, got caught, and they gave you a second chance. It was a hard, uphill journey all the way, but you made it, and you couldn’t be happier. Give thanks because you gave them a second chance; give thanks to because you got a second chance to be a part of your children’s lives.

     Give thanks because you made it through financial, personal, emotional, & physical troubles, and you did it together. No one bailed; you stuck by each other and made it through to greener grass and clearer skies. Success was the main course; appreciation was the bread, dressing, and sides. Choosing to give a second chance was the dessert. Happy Thanksgiving.

     CHRISTMAS - Show your feelings through not only gifts but acts of service. On his day off, he got up, washed your car, filled your gas tank, and left flowers and a romantic letter on the passenger seat. She let you sleep in a brought you breakfast in bed with all your favorites. He knows you’re with the kids all day, so when he gets home, he takes them out for pizza or gets them out of your hair, so you can at least work out in peace. He takes them for the entire day, giving you the chance to relax and decompress; maybe do some shopping for yourself. She knows he works hard, so she doesn’t bombard him with negativity as soon as he gets home. Their patience is the gift; their understanding is the wrapping with the big red bow.

     VALENTINE'S DAY - If you’re in Valentine’s Day relationship, you’re in the wrong relationship. Valentine’s Day should be more than just a once a year occasion; you shouldn’t need a day on the calendar to tell you to show each other how much you love the other. It shouldn’t be about expensive gifts, fancy dinners and such. If you have Valentine’s Day relationship, you’re not in the right relationship. If you need to be reminded to show your love for each other, your love for each other is flawed.

     EASTER/RESURRECTION DAY - Celebrate the resurrection of your relationship; the dead or dying parts were tried, convicted, sentenced, and buried. When you woke up on that 3rd day, all that bullshit was gone. You sat down like adults, put aside pride, arrogance, your know-it-all attitude, and you actually listened to each other. You stopped listening to other people poison your relationship, and a phoenix rose from the ashes. You rolled the stone away, and the grave you buried the dead parts of your relationship rose and appeared brand new, cleansed, & beautiful.

     MOTHER’S/FATHER’S DAY - Celebrate being parents. There’s no reason to separate each one. We all know Mother’s Day is the more recognized holiday, which trivializes the father's contribution because his contribution comes more from outside the home. Mothers get more credit than fathers. Instead, show equal appreciation for each other’s part in the family, not just the home. Celebrate being parents without the separation; just because mom’s home doesn’t mean dad deserves any less. Don’t forget to celebrate the act that made your parents. Don’t get so caught up in seeing each other as just your kid’s mom or dad. First and foremost, you’re a man and woman; you still need time, availability, and opportunity for time together.

     HALLOWEEN - A Halloween relationship is you pretending to be something or someone you’re not to get something sweet or hide your true self and/or intentions. You get to wear a mask and disguise yourself as anyone you choose. You can run the streets unidentified and do dirty shit without being caught. The Halloween relationship is pretending you want a relationship when you really want to just fuck; or you’re lying about being okay with just a fuck when you really want the relationship. It’s about deception, pretending they’re the only one in your life and you really have 3-4 others, and you’re giving them all the same bullshit story. Your Halloween relationship means scaring them with physical, sexual, emotional, or mental abuse. You put on a mask of a great person around other people, but when you’re alone, your true demon comes out. You’re an asshole, jealous, controlling, drunk/druggie. Living with you is living in a real-life house of horrors.

     MEMORIAL DAY - Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and future. Stop dwelling on what your ex did or didn’t do. Stop comparing the present with the past if you forgave them for whatever they did. Don’t bring that shit up every time you disagree. Don’t use some shit from 10 years ago to justify what you did last weekend. Don’t intentionally bring shit from past relationships to a new one. Sure, it does happen, but there has to be a point where being guarded becomes permanently damaged. Throw out that old sweatshirt your ex wore in college, get rid of the seat covers she bought for your 1st anniversary from 3 years ago. Buy new sheets and dump the lingerie you bought for your ex. Stop trying to hang on to your ex’s kids or family after the breakup. Memories are just memories; leave them at that.

     INDEPENDENCE DAY - Celebrate Independence Day, but remember you have a partner. When you’re by yourself, you only have to answer for yourself. When you’re in a relationship, some of that independence has to turn into a partnership. You see it as having to ask permission, and you’ll be damned. It’s not about permission; it’s about communication. When you’re single, you can believe you don’t “Need” a man, but don’t you dare say that to him. You’re independent as long as it benefits you, and that’s fucked up.

     You both got jobs and finally got off welfare and government assistance. You moved out of your parents’ or sister’s place. You moved from that drug-infested roach motel of an apartment and got a nicer place on the other side of town. Your kids are going to a better school. You saved up and got a car. You’re doing great now; celebrate your Independence Day.

     SPRING BREAK - Every day’s a party; drinking, drugs, cheating. You’re only as faithful as you need to be in relation to where your partner is. You can’t take anything seriously. You wait all year round, waiting for this one week where you can go out and act a drunk fucking fool and hope you don’t catch anything and bring it home to your partner or spouse. There’s no way they’re going with you, even if you have to start a fight to get out the front door. You’ll make up for or pay the price when you get back home.

     APRIL FOOLS’ DAY - If you’re in an April Fool’s relationship, you’re the fool in the relationship. You’re being fooled in your relationship. You’re with a player or gold digger. You think you’re their one and only, and so does everyone else they’re fucking with. You’re the fool because you know you’re being fucked over, and you’re still around, giving them a chance after chance after chance. You’re the fool because you’re getting away with shit, and you’ll get bent and pissed off when you find out they’re doing the same thing you’re doing. You’re the fool because you thought they wouldn’t cheat on you even though they cheated with you. You thought he was going to leave his wife for you. He doesn’t respect other women, but you think he’ll respect you. You believed him every time he said if go down on him 1st, then he’ll do it for you, only to have them back out each time. You believe them every time they apologize for cheating or beating you up when they do it over and over again.

     THE HONEYMOON - You jump from one relationship to another because you enjoy the honeymoon relationship. You’re more attracted to the experience of being with someone new, instead of someone good for you. As soon as the honeymoon phase is over, you’re in search of your next relationship. You can’t count how many good men or women you fucked over in search of your next honeymoon. Sooner or later, you’re going to look in the mirror or realize all the guys and females you had your pick from either don’t want you because you’re older, you put on weight, or they know your reputation.

What holiday are you living in? Living for? Is your relationship a celebration or condemnation? Holidays can remind us to appreciate the positive on the one hand and avoid repeating the mistakes we’ve made and where we’ve been with the others. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 15, 2020


     You thought they were the hottest man or woman you’ve ever seen. Someone else saw that same person and thought they were just “Okay.” Men and women wonder why others can’t or don’t find someone as beautiful or sexy as they do. It’s because everyone sees beauty differently. We see different things in different people, from height to weight to skin color to foot size. Just because you or even a group of people find someone attractive doesn’t mean everyone else has to or will think the same.

     Some men could care less what’s on the inside, as long as it’s wrapped in an olive-skinned or caramel-colored, 36-24-38 DD package with a nice, thick ass and long hair. Women deal with assholes with a wide back, broad shoulders, and tattoos who can bench press 250 pounds. People are so used to the shit the locals pull, but they don’t know what else is out there because they’ve never been anywhere else. Then her girlfriend introduced her to her man’s best friend or cousin, and he was on some higher-level shit. Men will choose the best of what his home has to offer because he also doesn’t know any different; until someone he knows introduced him to someone from somewhere else.

     That’s because other people left home. They moved out of their neighborhood and left the state they grew up in. They went off to college, joined the military, or just left to see what the rest of the country or the world had to offer. Even though things didn’t work out and ended up coming back after a few years, they still left and experienced other people, cultures, ethnicities, etc. Except for the occasional tourist attraction, vacation spots, or amusement parks, you’ve never been anywhere outside your neighborhood, city, or state.

     The people you think are so far beyond beautiful and out of your reach are regular-looking people elsewhere. People who’ve been somewhere away from where they were born or grew up know this, and that’s why they’re not seeing what you see when you see someone you think is the best you’ve ever seen.

While you’re wondering how somebody can turn down the best your area has to offer, they’re looking at that same person and wondering why you’re settling when there’s so much more outside your little neighborhood bubble.

     You’re letting people get away with treating you like shit because the options in your area are limited to those types of people. You don’t know any better because you haven’t been anywhere better. You haven’t seen anything better or had anything better. All the men and women around you look and act the same way, and that’s what you’re used to. You allow yourself to be treated like shit because that’s how men and women are where you’re from. You’re choosing the best bad or mediocre option available to you, thinking it’s the best option out there.

     You’re wondering how somebody can turn down someone you think is the sexiest, most attractive person you’ve ever seen. That’s because that person IS the sexiest, most attractive person YOU’VE ever seen. According to what they find attractive and sexy, they’ve seen better and sexier, and days where they’re from or have been. They KNOW people who look and act like those you’ve only fantasied about, and how they look is pretty standard for their city or neighborhood. They know, have friends, date or have dated men or women who look “Hollywood style.”

     You accepted your friend’s invitation to visit and experienced something other than what you’ve always been around. You went back to your hometown and asked yourself what the hell you’re doing, wasting time with people who look and act the way your hometown folk look and act. That visit elevated you to a different level. You had the chance to experience sex you never thought about, and you can’t go back to the same boring 3-4 position shit you were doing before you left. You hooked up with people you’ve never been around before, and they opened your eyes to something bigger than you thought existed. Metaphorically, you just realized the earth isn’t flat after all.

     You’re a small-town fish in a small town pond, but that works for you because you’d rather be a small-town fish in a pond you’re familiar with than to be a small-town fish in a larger body of water with different and more types of fish. You know there aren’t any sharks in your waters, so there’s no danger to your safety; your comfort zone remains intact. The drawback is along with avoiding the predators, and you’re also missing out on the beautiful coral reefs, exotic plants, and other amazing fish and sea life you’ve only read about or seen on TV or online.

     That’s why others aren’t as impressed by what your small-town mind or limited area has to offer because their area of experience is 5 times larger than yours. Your expectations and standards in men and women are pre-stone-age, and theirs are futuristic. The people in your circle accuse you of selling out or trying to be something you’re not, but the truth is you’ve taken the first step into becoming something more than what you were before. The men and women you were so interested in before accuse you of thinking you’re too good for them; take that as a compliment, especially if those men and women are grown now, doing the same shit and acting the same way they were 4-5 years ago.

     You won’t put up with the same shit you did before you left because the people you have around introduced you to other men or women who showed you how different and better they were. You had no idea some people were actually THAT hot and had great personalities. They were so down to earth and knew how to treat someone they’re interested in. You’ve never had a man approach you like a decent man, and he’s never been out with a woman who offered to cover half the damn date. You never thought you ever meet someone who had the face and body of a porn star, but they’re everywhere somewhere else. Your head’s twisted sideways from breaking your neck, checking out all the talent around you. You didn’t know these people really existed, much less knew anyone who knew anyone like them.

     Here’s the problem; people avoid leaving what’s comfortable and familiar and refuse to admit or show interest in someone different because it goes against what other people expect. For example, a black man who’s dated nothing but black women his whole life won’t consider any other woman because that’s the predominant option in his area until someone introduces him to Caucasian, Asian, or Latin women. Black women are the only women that live in his area, and he doesn’t know any better until that trip opened his eyes to a whole new experience. When he gets home, he’s going to look at his lady and the women around him and get instantly bored or develop a lack of interest in them.

     He’s attracted to exotic ethnicity. He’s never been that close to Asian, white, or Latin women, much less any who are built like models or porn stars. She’s never seen men who look like or are built like pro athletes, and they’re starstruck. They were cool as hell, and they were interested in getting to know you and wanted to spend time with you. Men and women in other places don’t play the same bullshit people in your area do, and that’s more than enough reason to want to deal with them.

     You get mad because someone you want doesn’t want you, but the person they want doesn’t want them. They could be married, in a relationship, or just not interested, but because they didn’t want you, it’s taken as an insult or disrespect. Just because you think someone’s attractive doesn’t mean everyone else should too, especially when it comes to celebrities and such. When you’re out and about, you may think someone’s drop-dead gorgeous, and they are, based on what you like; there’s no standard checklist that requires everyone else to agree with you.

     It bothers you when others don’t find your man or lady as hot as you do, yet, you’ll get pissed off when somebody does find them sexy and makes a comment or move on them. You can’t have it both ways. The same goes for you and why people you want don’t want you or think you’re as great-looking or the great catch you think you are. They’ve seen better; they know better, and they have or have had better. You’re the best your area has to offer, but where they’re from, you’re below average.

     You came back home for a visit from college, military, or wherever, and now you remember why you were in such a hurry to get the hell away as fast as you could. Everything you were taught and believed was 100% wrong, and you love your new life somewhere else. It was great to great to catch up, but you can’t wait to get back home.

     There’s no law saying because you want to hook up with somebody that everybody else should want to. You’re just pissed because you got turned down, and you don’t know how to accept it or deal with rejection. You took it as a personal assault to your taste, and instead of moving on from rejection, your defense mechanism was anger directed to the person who didn’t want what you wanted. You can’t expect everyone to see what you see. Why are you mad or offended because they don’t share your taste? Is it because you got turned down and your ego’s damaged because you got turned down, or are you pissed because you just realized your taste is nothing short of a small town?


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 08, 2020


     You’re already in a relationship, and now you’re tired or your side piece. You got used to them, they started acting like your main lady, they’re demanding more, or they started piecing shit together, and now you need to get rid of them. The last thing you want is for them to see you out and about with your main lady and fuck your shit up by confronting you or snitching on you. The solution: THE HANDOFF.

The handoff is when you start to distance yourself from your side chick to where she starts to question whether or not she wants to continue to be with you, but she’s still with you, hoping things will get better. Your ultimate goal is to get her to leave you so you don’t look like the cheating asshole you really are. He wants her to the point where she’s thinking of breaking up with you, and her friends are convincing her to leave because she deserves someone better. You plan to position her to meet someone else and want to get to know him. You want her so interested and wrapped up in the new guy and their honeymoon phase, she’ll ignore you or won’t be so inclined to retaliate for fucking her over if/when she sees you out with your main lady.

     The handoff can work with a FREE AGENT. The free agent is a stranger on the fly or with a RECEIVER, someone you know. The free-agent can be someone who’s checking her out at the club, and you’ll find a way to let him know she’s about to become available. The receiver is someone you know, and you know he wants her. The handoff is man-initiated, so the “Bro-Code” is null and void. Obligation to not fuck with your friend’s side chick has no jurisdiction when it comes to the handoff. Not getting caught takes precedence over the obligation to not mess with a female your boys were with. The receiver's purpose is to take away the anger, heartbreak, and desire for revenge and replace it with interest in someone else. If the handoff is successful, the side piece won’t find it necessary to confront or engage you in the least bit that could expose you.

     The handoff is more successful and has a better chance of working when you’re dealing with a receiver rather than a free agent. You don’t necessarily have to be friends with the free agent, but you’ve seen them around, and you have an idea of what type of person they are, based on the limited conversations you’ve had in passing at the gym, at work, or wherever. The better you know the receiver means, the better chance you have in choosing the right play to get him in the end zone. You already know the side chick, so you’re able to give inside information about her to strengthen the chances of a successful handoff.

     The handoff can only be attempted once and only works once; any action towards that female afterward is going to get your shit fucked up and put you at odds with your free agent or receiver. He’ll stay away for a while; at least until he doesn’t have any other regular options for sex, then he’ll fuck up and reach out to the handoff. Men will complete a successful handoff, then turn right the fuck around and cause his own fumble. He’ll try to rekindle a relationship with his handoff, at least sexually. Burn a handoff twice, and there’s nothing you can do to escape or avoid her wrath; she WILL make it her personal mission to fuck your shit up.

     The handoff fails when you realize you don’t want to let the side chick go, or you want to hand her off temporarily. That doesn’t work. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Spring Break. New Years’ Eve. Anytime during the year where you’re expected to spend time together, and there’s no way you can do that with 2 women. You want to hand her off long enough not to have to deal with that. It seems like a logical solution; that’s when you’ll choose a free agent over a receiver. Bro code won’t apply to a free agent, but if you’ve handed her off to a friend when you come back around, you’re basically trying to steal your friend’s lady.

     Women won’t bother with a handoff; she’ll have to be shitty about it and walk away from the game. She’ll forfeit and walk off the field, leaving him behind, wondering what the hell happened. She knows he’ll make it difficult for her to hand him off, and none of her friends will be interested in being a receiver to someone you’re trying to get rid of. Her first question will be, “What’s wrong with him that you’re trying to push him off on me?”

     Women won’t be interested in a handoff other than possibly for sex. She knows he’ll try to still fuck her AND the woman handing him off, but that’s not what she wants. Women won’t use a handoff because she knows the chances are pretty good that if she wants to come back later, he’ll at least make her a side chick, and she can talk him into a 180; meaning she’ll talk him into switching her place as a side piece to his main lady and making his main lady the side piece.

     When a handoff fails, she’ll wonder what’s going on and why you’re acting like you don’t want her anymore. There’s your chance to come clean and let her down easy with some re-planned bullshit of an, “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse. Or most likely, you’ll try a fumble recovery, meaning you’ll tell her she’s a misunderstanding or taking things the wrong way, just to keeping having sex with her. Remember, you can’t try another handoff without her catching on. If you hand her off to a free agent and she decides she still wants to be with you, it’s right back to where you started. If she bails on a receiver, he’ll get pissed at you because he realized what your plan was. He knows you just used him to take your scraps, and you’ve fucked up a friendship.

     When you initiate a handoff, make sure you’re done. Please make sure you’re over it, and there’s no chance of turning around and throwing an interception. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 01, 2020


     Be careful with what you say and how you say it; the same goes for asking people. What you think is an innocent or harmless question could be none of your business in the first place. Second, think about what the fuck you’re saying behind the questions you ask. How you meant it isn’t the same as how you said it. Put some thought into how it comes out of your mouth and across to the person you’re talking to, not just your own selfishness because you want information.

     To ask a woman if all her kids have the same father is one of those questions. That’s such a shitty question to ask. Are you truly that fucking stupid that you don’t see the shitty insult you just threw at the person you’re talking to? Do you not realize how fucked up the accusations and innuendos you’re putting on that person who’s supposed to be your friend?

     You’re putting out an assumption she fucks around so regularly there’s a chance there could be more than one candidate for the father of one or more of her kids. You’re asking if she knows who all her children’s fathers are. You’re asking her if she fucks around. You’re calling her easy and a whore. You’re assuming she was a cheater at some point in her life and got caught up in some bullshit. For all you know, she’s a widow, an abused wife, or she was abused by her ex-boyfriend she had children with, and she finally got the courage to leave his ass. Then she met someone else who turned out to be a better man, and they had a child. One of her kids could be adopted, or they could’ve taken custody of a child of one of her down and out relatives and raising that child as her own.

     Your question puts it out in the open that you see her in the same light as men when they find out she has more than one child. When it comes to women with multiple children, the more she has, the less he’ll see or appreciate her value. He sees her as used or damaged goods. He sees her as an easy fuck, and your question says you see her the same way. He sees her as an easier piece of ass needing far less effort than a classier woman with fewer children. Even worse, she was the victim or a sexual assault or rape, and one of her children was the product of that experience. How are you going to feel when she shares that with you?

     Besides that, why does it matter to you if someone’s children are all by the same man? Is that going to affect or influence your decision to be friends with that woman? Why do you care? What does it matter to you? Why would you even think to ask? Does it change the way you interact or treat them? Even if she was an easy fuck back in the day and had an unplanned pregnancy because of her wild ways, that’s her business. If she’s taking care of her shit now, it shouldn’t concern you at all if all her children have the same father.

     When you’re asking a woman if all her children are from the same man, you’ll make an enemy out of any woman intelligent enough to see how fucked up your question is. You may not mean it that way, but that’s how it came out. It doesn’t register you’re insulting that woman. You don’t know her past or situation. You don’t think your question was wrong, and you’re just making conversation. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was to her, so don’t play it off or dismiss it. When she tells you how fucked up it is, don’t make an excuse; try to understand where they’re coming from and apologize; don’t trivialize how they feel because you can’t see why they feel the way they do.

      It doesn’t bother you when people ask you if all your kids are by the same man, but everyone’s not you. Don’t accuse somebody who gets offended of being overly sensitive or taking it the wrong way; they took it the way you asked it, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them from interpreting anything said or done. They took it the way you said it, and the way you said it was fucked up.

    Her children may not have the same skin color, hair color, eyes, facial features, etc. That doesn’t mean they can’t all be by the same man. Even if they are all from different men, it still doesn’t mean what you’re implying. It doesn’t mean she was giving up sex left and right. She’s only had 3 long-term relationships and had a child from each one. Your question put her in the same category as a woman who had 3 children by different men in 3 years.

     She got married, and she took on his kids as her own. She took your question as a personal attack because one of her kids is biracial or completely different ethnicity. Unless you’re a complete asshole, don’t you dare ask a woman that shit in front of her children! For so many different reasons, it’s 100% USDA choice, grade A, American fed, Kobe beef fucked up to put a woman in a position to answer that question in front of her young children; they will remember and ask their mom the same thing later on and why her friends asked her that. You just might have started a conversation that the woman wasn’t ready to have with her children.

     Men don’t get that question because most women automatically assume a man with multiple children have multiple mothers because he’s a man-whore. He’s a player by circumstance, and he just got caught; karma finally caught up with him, and his multiple children are a punishment for being a player and a cheater. A woman’s question to another woman implies the same thing.

Do you still not see why this is such a shitty question to ask? 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 25 2020


     A soulmate doesn’t have to be a positive person or situation. Your soulmate makes you a better person, even if the experience or situation with that person was one of the worst of your life. Your soulmate makes you a better person even if they cheated on you, treated you like shit, ignored you, beat on you, and kept you underfoot. Your soulmate isn’t always about love, self-confidence, and affection.

     The purpose of a soulmate is someone who enters your life and makes an incredible impact on your life. That impact may not always be made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. That impact isn’t always positive. That impact won’t always make your heart flutter and your toes curl when you kiss. Your soulmate could scare the shit out of you, have you walking on eggshells and afraid to tell anyone else about it. They become your soulmate the minute you realize and decide you’ve had enough, learn from their shitty examples, and you become strong enough to walk away.

     Your soulmate gave you the courage to leave stronger than when you entered. The independence and recognition of your own identity and the boost to your declining self-image as a result of meeting your soulmate. They took so much from you for so long, or you had very little of yourself before your soulmate. They beat you down physically and emotionally until one day the match inside of you became a roaring flame and from the ashes, a phoenix emerged, wings blazed with a fire that can’t be extinguished.

     Your soulmate was an asshole. You didn’t think you deserved to be happy, so you accepted what was offered. You were afraid to ask for more in fear of having what little you were getting to be taken away. Your soulmate had you begging for the scraps from your own table. Your soulmate made you feel like shit about yourself and had you convinced no one else would want you, but you met someone who showed you how much more you were worth. You wouldn’t have met that other person and became so much stronger and better a person had it not been for your soulmate.

     Just like in the positive sense, there’s no such thing as a soulmate, in reference to there being just one person meant for everyone. There are going to be soulmates everywhere and anywhere who’s going to see the good in you and appreciate what you have to offer; just like there’s going to be people who see someone they can take advantage of and treat like shit. If you can believe there’s more than one fucked up person in the world; more than one cheater, more than one good, decent man or woman in the world, then you can concede a soulmate won’t always be someone who’s good to you, but your experience with them was good for you.

     Your soulmate may not have been a positive person, but they were a positive influence in your life. Isn’t that what a soulmate is supposed to do, make you a better person for knowing them? Your experiences with one another make, shape, and mold you into a better, more productive version of yourself. Aren’t they supposed to make you happy and a better friend and relationship partner? Your soulmate supports you, lift you to a higher level of yourself, and helps you see your self-worth and potential; and they did just that; they did it by treating you like shit until you got fed up with it.

     Your soulmate made you realize you not only deserved more, but you had the right to demand more. They made you see you also had more to give. You weren’t sexually experienced or expressive until you met them, and they brought it out of you when they demanded things you weren’t used to or comfortable within the beginning. They used your love for them to guilt you into the freaky, nasty type of sex they wanted, and you hated them for it until you left and found someone who appreciated what your soulmate made you hate. Because of your soulmate, you learned so many new things you realized your sexually primal side and the good man you ended up with is still thanking the asshole who turned you out even after 3 years of being together.

     They taught you to be proud of your body when they were done making you ashamed of your body. Your soulmate gave you the confidence in yourself when you were fed up with them breaking you down. They gave you the drive and motivation to start your business or go back to school and get your degree. They’ll take the credit for your success, but they never take away what they gave your soul. You walked away with way more self-respect and a higher opinion of yourself. You would’ve never had that power if you hadn’t their bullshit in your life.

     Your soulmate may have been an asshole, but that asshole turned you into an unstoppable force of nature. You went into your life with your soulmate an old, wrecked, rusty tricycle, but came out a brand-new showroom-worthy 1500 cc sport superbike. You went in not even knowing what your gifts were. When you got your power to leave, you could fly, had super strength, and rapid healing abilities.

     Everything good about you now is because of the shitty soulmates you’ve had along the way. All soulmates aren’t people put in your path to treat you like a king or queen. Their purpose is to enrich your life and make you a better person, which they did. They just did it by treating you like shit. You wouldn’t be where you are now had it not been for those people who fucked you over. You’d still be an asshole had you never met an even bigger asshole. Their drug and alcohol habit got you off drugs and alcohol or it kept you away from trying drugs and alcohol.

     Everything your soulmate did to keep you down and destroy you made you who you are now. You learned who not to be and what not to be like. You learned how it feels to be on the other side of the coin. Your soulmate played you and that reformed you from your player ways. Your soulmate cheated on you over and over again and it gave you what you needed to be the great man or woman in every relationship in your future. Your soulmate was a shitty friend and you swore you’d never be that shitty a friend. Your soulmate can even be a shitty parent who showed you how to not be a shitty parent to your own children.

     Your soulmate makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life. They make you feel as if you can take on the world by storm. They make you feel on top of the world. Your soulmate brings out everything great about yourself. Your soulmate fills that empty hole in your soul and makes you feel complete. Your soulmate teaches you about love and elevates your idea and expression of love. Your soulmate makes you a better friend. The actions, gestures, behaviors, and examples they show of themselves show you what you can accomplish when you have to right person in your corner.

     You were a pushover, but your soulmate gave you what you needed to stand up for yourself. People took advantage of you until you started to care less about pleasing others and more about yourself. Your soulmate makes you happy with yourself. You no longer need someone in your life; you can be happy by yourself until you meet the right person. Your soulmate taught you to be strong, outspoken, and independent, yet not hold the transgressions of your shitty soulmates from your past against anyone in your present or future. Everything good about you now is because of your shitty soulmate.

     Your soulmate makes you shine like the sun, and better than you could ever have been had you not known them. Everything positive about who you are you owe to your soulmate. Your soulmate’s the reason you’re the best possible version of yourself. They’ve done all this for you, by doing not much of anything for you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 18, 2020


     When a woman says she wants to take a break, she’s done. She doesn’t want a break. She doesn’t want or need time to think about anything. A woman doesn’t tell a man she needs to evaluate what’s important and if she’s ready to get into something serious. When she says she wants to take a break, she’s ended things with you. She’s more than capable of thinking about things while you’re still together. By the time she suggests time apart or a break, she’s already thought about it; she’s already gone back and forth about it in her mind. She’s already talked to her friends and weighed the pros and cons of staying in the relationship versus leaving. Taking a break is her way of breaking up with you when you haven’t done anything to piss her off to dump you bluntly and straight-forward.

     There’s no more romance, or you’re on separate paths, and she wishes you the best of luck and no ill will towards you. She doesn’t want to hurt you too much, but she doesn’t want to stay somewhere she’s not happy; that’s where the “Break” comes in. “It’s not you. It’s me.” No, it’s you; she’s not getting what she needs out of the relationship, but you’re a decent guy, and she wishes the best for you, but she knows you’re not the best for each other. Wanting or needing a break or time off is just stupid; why not say what you really mean? You either want to end the relationship and move on, you want to be by yourself and come back when you’re done, or you want to see if there’s anything else out there before you settle down. That’s what a break really is, a question of settlement.

     For men, taking a break is just that; taking a break from where you are so, he can explore other options. He doesn’t need time away from you to decide if he wants to be with you. He already knows if he does or not, but he has a halfway decent heart and doesn’t want to “Formally” cheat on you. He wants to take a break to see if he’s missing out on anything. He wants to make sure you’re still the best he can get but not feel guilty for testing the waters with other women; he wants to seek other options and possibilities but run home if there’s nothing out there.

     She wants to be alone or explore someone else and doesn’t want to cheat either, whether physically or emotionally. If it doesn’t work out, it’s a lesson learned about greener grass. She wouldn’t try to come back because she knows she wouldn’t take you back if you did that same thing. Men want the best of both worlds; he doesn’t want to be a cheater, but he also doesn’t know if he’s ready to be with just one woman.

     Time apart isn’t spring break when you can come back after a week of doing dirt or pick up where you left off. It’s not summer vacation when you disappear until fall classes resume. You don’t get to use the time apart when things get to be too much for you to handle or when you don’t want to hear the truth when you’re messing up. You know you’re doing something wrong, or you’re not holding up to your end of the relationship, so instead of meeting halfway, you want to take time apart from each other. Each time you ask for time apart or to take a break, one or both of you are getting more and more used to not being together, which is going to make the final breakup that much easier.

     When women want a break, she’s breaking up with you. When men take a break, he’s going on vacation from the relationship. His break is a Vegas weekend with the guys and not be an asshole because he knows he can’t be trusted otherwise. For him, time apart is his free pass from the doghouse if and when he’s caught out with someone else. He believes that’s all he needs to excuse what he does during the break.

     He won’t see any reason to admit to what he did during the break or time apart, but he’ll lie about it if asked. He’ll want a detailed account for every waking moment she spent when they weren’t together. His rationalization is because since he was the one who suggested the break or time apart, he has a right to know what she did, but his actions aren’t important. His break is about his freedom while she sits at home, waiting for him to come back. Her break is about finding happiness for herself and possibly to show him what he has with her and to break him of his player ways or need for attention from other women.

     Her break is telling you there’s a chance to get your shit together, but you need to see what your life would be like without her. She’s telling you there’s a chance to be friends, but later down the line when you stop trying to still have sex with her while you’re chasing and sleeping with other women. She’s okay with being friends after she meets someone else or she’s convinced you’re done trying to get back together.

     He's taking a break or time apart is a hollow threat to get what he wants physically; hers is a threat to get something she wants emotionally. He wants a threesome; she wants him to buy her nice things. He wants an open relationship while she stays faithful to just him. She wants to control the relationship and ration sex to get her way. He wants a woman who’ll be more traditional when it comes to gender roles; she wants to be independent, as long as it benefits her endgame. You’re both playing a dangerous yet ridiculous game because neither of you really wants the break or time apart.

     His break is telling her he can’t be trusted as far as she can throw him. He can’t go out of town or out with his friends without being tempted. He knows he can’t be trusted, so he thinks he’s excusing his upcoming behavior by asking for a break or time apart. She’s not stupid; there were no problems or issues in the relationship until about a month before he was going on his trip with the guys; now, all of a sudden, all these things are coming up that makes him question their situation. Surprisingly when he comes back, all the doubt, problems, and arguments magically stop, and he has everything figured out. His time apart says she should prepare herself to not hear from him regularly; he says it’s to figure things out, but it’s really because he wants to avoid the obligation of returning calls and texts if or when he’s with someone else. She should be prepared to see him talking to or out with other women.

     He’ll expect her to be at home, pining for him to come back, and he’ll turn into a fetal pig when he sees her out or talking to another man or other men all over her. Then he’ll reminisce about all the good things about her and want her to himself. Too bad that 4th break you took within the last year was the last straw for either of you, and the other person got sick of that shit. They found someone who knew what they wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, show it, and accept it, without needing time apart to re-evaluate it. You made them realize your break was a break you both needed, and they ended up making your break THEIR break 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 5th 2020


     Women ask why men always feel like they have to impress her with how much money he makes. She wonders why men come running out the gate, bragging about what drives, his place, his car, etc. Women talk shit about men who brag about how much he makes or what he has to get her interested or to impress her. She’ll criticize him for doing it, but it’s not like women haven’t had a hand in making men feel they have to have a certain amount to deserve a chance with her.

    From an early age, women have conditioned men to think he has to show and prove his financial worth. Since he was old enough to be interested in girls, women have played a major part in instilling the belief he has to enforce his financial and materialistic standing to get her attention and gain her interest. He didn’t just roll out of bed one day and decide the best way to get a woman was to showcase his financials without believing it would get him anywhere. You ask what makes him think you care about how much money he has; the answer is YOU! From the time he was a young boy, YOU were the reason he felt that way.

     Not necessarily the, “You” now, but then, “You” before you grew up and matured into the woman you are now, who values personality and character over materialistic shit.

     When in school, it was all about what he had; the guys who wore trendy, name-brand clothes got the most attention from the girls. The more he flaunted what his parents could afford to buy him dictated which girls he had a chance with. Hand-me-downers or bargain store shoppers were outcasts. They were nerds, geeks, and even bullied if his wardrobe didn’t meet the standards of his peers. If he didn’t have what everyone else has, he got turned down and laughed at the girl ad beat up and picked on by other boys. If his shoes came from the outlet store, it was quickly identified and brought to the center stage for ridicule. The guys who lived in certain neighborhoods were more likely to get the girls in their class who lived in the same neighborhoods. If You lived in the projects, you were socially limited to or expected to only go for project girls. The ones from, “better” or more affluent areas were considered off-limits or reserved for their socially acceptable male counterparts.

     Boys with glasses got little to no play from the cute girls. Even the girls WITH glasses were choosy about the boys with glasses. Even if they needed them, the popular kids didn’t wear theirs because they knew they’d be singled out because of what glasses represented their social standing. Girls assumed guys with acne were poor and had shitty hygiene.

     In Jr. high, the boys who were popular got pretty, popular girls. That was also around the time girls were trying to act a hell of a lot more grown-up than before the summer break started. Along with the training bra came a new level of expectation and standard of boys who were even allowed to talk to her. Boys who wore their older sibling’s old clothes were shot down and put in their proper place in the hierarchy. If he brought his lunch from home instead of buying the snack cakes, candy, or chips and cookies they sold on the side during lunch period, he wasn’t worthy; the same went for kids who qualified for free lunches. Boys were constantly reminded of their place in the food chain. Her rationalization was boys who had more could do more, and he would bring her along with him. He was an investment in her future, even before he was in high school.

     Back in the day, it was okay for boys not to know what they wanted to do when they were in high school. Now, his entire life has to be mapped out or at least flowchart by their Freshman year. He’d better have his future completely figured out BEFORE he met her parents. Back in the day, men were judged by the content of their character and personality; how hard he worked was all she needed to see in him, not the financial worth of his family. His desire to spend time with her was what won her over. Her dad didn’t care if he was broke, or middle class, he was impressed by his work ethic. Even if he bagged groceries at the supermarket, he had respect. If he worked with his dad on the farm on the weekends or waited tables at the soda shop after school and football practice, that was more than enough for her and her parents.

     Back in the day, he could wear his dad’s suit to the prom, or any formal event, which was held in the school gym. He could drive the family station wagon and have burgers and fries afterward, and it was okay with her. She was just happy to be going with the guy she liked. Now, a limo, tuxedo, corsage, and expensive dinner beforehand is expected and mandatory! The swanky $150-$200/night hotel room HE has to pay for on a high school part-time job! He knows that’s the basic, minimum prom package, and he’s footing the bill for everything. Anything less won’t be accepted or met with disappointment, if not intense scrutiny. She won’t wait until the night’s over, she’ll let him know he fucked up right then and there. Her image is as much at stake as his proof of love and commitment to her.

     In high school, it got a little different and more complicated, but the message was still the same; if he couldn’t impress with what he had, or parents could afford, he had no chance with the upper-echelon girls. It was about the guys who had part-time jobs and cars which could pick them up and take them out. If he had a job and a car, he had his pick of the litter. How he dressed wasn’t so much of a big deal than when his parents were buying his clothes. Women knew he was paying for his gas, at least part of his insurance and his phone line. He was paying for the dates he was taking you on, which was more important than name brand clothes.

     For her, it was about him having a job and access to a car. It didn’t matter what he wore as long as it was clean. It didn’t matter what he had as long as he was driving and paying for his own. His parents weren’t buying him high-dollar clothes and such, especially if they were helping him cover the cost of his ride. A guy with a car trumped a guy standing at the bus stop, sporting the latest and greatest gear. A guy with a car was seen as older and elevated because he drove. That’s why high school Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors dated graduates and college guys.

     It was an either/or situation, and guys wanted to drive and overpaid for name-brand shit. The guy with the car was always more popular than the guy walking or riding the bus with the cool clothes, shoes, etc. In a female’s mind, he was more mature and elevated. That’s why Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors wanted guys who’d already graduated or college guys.

     The true difference came out when he wasn’t driving, and STILL wasn’t wearing the top of the line gear. He didn’t have a car because he was saving up to buy one, or he was helping the family out with the bills. To her, there was no reason he was still dressing the way he was when he had a job but no car. And it didn’t matter what kind of car he had, as long as it ran.

     In college, it was about his prospects for the future. It was about who had the greatest earning potential and success after graduation. It was about who’d be drafted into the pros or the next possible Olympic hopeful. It was about separating men who came from money versus men who has his own or be prepared to make his own money. Guys that showed promise in getting into college on an athletic or academic scholarship was an added factor in defining the limits of his options. How his tuition and such were paid for wasn’t really an issue except for when it came to women who were straight gold diggers or opportunists.

     The guys with money and better career options had better luck with women. She was looking for the CEO-in-training, pro-athlete hopeful, or future politician, no matter how much of a player or asshole he was. He was being groomed for success, and part of that was to associate himself with a particular type of woman. Her goal was to be that woman. Old (Family) money stops at that man, and she’d NEVER had access to it without him. The guy making his own millions would put her name on the bank and credit cards too, and that’s what she really wants.

     Women wonder how and where a man comes to the conclusion that she has to have sex with him after a date. The answer is simple; the prom. If nothing else, prom night was the night most girls were waiting to have sex. She knew how hard he worked and saved to get the money to afford all the things she expected of him on prom night. She knew he was going to have nothing to show for his efforts while she was treated to the best night of her life, up to that point in her life. She wanted to show her appreciation and gratitude. Women continue to condition men to think that way because women continue to have sex with men on the first date.

     Men have been conditioned to expect sex after paying for a date because that’s how some women said thank you or how she acknowledged she was getting a free night out, and he wasn’t getting anything in return. Women who hide behind the word “Traditional” and think men should pay don’t realize HE chose where they went and what they did, and she went along with it; she had no say or opinion. Women still feel they deserve that free night out and want to dictate how much he’s going to pay for that night out. They look at him to pay and call it, “Chivalry.”

     Women who say it doesn’t matter what her man has or how much he earns can say that because he DOES have it; he DOES earn it. She’ll tell you it’s not important to her that he owns three cars because she can grab the keys and has access to those three cars. She says she doesn’t need the big house because she lives in a big house. We all know she’d criticize him if he lived in a studio apartment and slept on a fold-out couch or futon; that’s why he’s bragging about his car and home.

     Don’t fool yourself into thinking she’d be as interested if he stocked shelves at the local retail store or his car was missing its front and rear bumper, along with the hood and sounded like a lawnmower when it was running at its best. She knows she wouldn’t go out with him again, or she’d just turn around and walk bright back into her house.

     It’s not about the money he spends on her; it’s about the money he spends. She knows he values money and materialistic shit. She’ll define or force him to prove his love, based on how much he comes out of pocket. The value of their relationship is defined by how much he spends on his home, vacations, cars, etc. Back in the day, a date could be something free, not now. She’ll talk shit about him if he takes her somewhere featuring a ladies’ night. Females will talk shit if he uses a gift card or coupon. Females gauge how physical they’d get, based on how much he spent on their date and girls did the same with boys when they were younger. That’s why they think they deserve something physical now they’re older.

     She doesn’t feel like enough was spent on her; he didn’t spend enough money on the date in total. They just went to a movie or dinner and not both. He wanted to go for a walk and get to know her, but she didn’t see it that way. She didn’t get dressed up for just dinner and a walk; she expected dinner AND a movie; dinner, drinks, AND dancing. She’ll talk shit because the part of the date that costs money didn’t last that long. He spent $35 on dinner, and everything else was free.

     When she asks what he does for a living, she’s making sure he has a job, but also gauging his financial worth and stability. She’s making sure he can afford her. That’s why his rank is one of the first things most women who meet military men ask. They want to see how much he makes.

     Why do guys brag about how much money he makes and what he has? It’s not because he’s an ass; well, he may be, but he’s been conditioned to believe he has to afford her to deserve her. He’s been judged from elementary school through adulthood on how much he makes, no matter what she says. Now she’s offended or turned off by it. She may not care if he’s rich or not, but she wants a man who’s not struggling either.

     Her parents didn’t want her with a boy who they thought had limited or no prospects of success in the future. Whether he was walking, riding the bus, or a bike, he was beneath her if he didn’t have what the wealthier kids had. He’s too poor or common for her. Her parents will judge his worth by his parents; their jobs, home, education, etc.

     He had to be popular. He had to drive. He had to have money and take her out. He had to get her special occasion and holiday gifts. He knew if he didn’t come home with roses (Nothing else but roses), an expensive gift, and a nice dinner for Valentine’s Day, he was going catch hell for it. Women made an expectation and requirement. She’s made him believe that if he doesn’t wine and dine her on the anniversary of their first date, first sexual experience, or their wedding, he’s uncaring, selfish, and doesn’t appreciate or care about her. How much he spends is how he proves he really loves her.

     He couldn’t just come over and visit. He couldn’t get dropped off and picked up. His parents or older siblings couldn’t chaperone or double-date. He couldn’t be seen riding a bike to her house; he had to at least have a scooter. Females didn’t want the guys who stayed at home. She didn’t want to come over for dinner; she wanted to go out to eat. She wanted to go somewhere they could be seen, and she could show off how much he was into her in front of other people by how much he spent. She wanted a boy who hung out at the mall on the weekends, even though he didn’t buy anything. She wanted to decide and control what they did, where they went, and how much he spent on it. Girls wanted to brag about where he took her to her friends. She wanted them to be jealous of what her man did for her. That’s why they dated older guys

     A man who uses his money to get a woman will lose his money to that woman. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Sep 27, 2020


     Don’t you feel the least bit guilty when others get caught up in some shit caused by your bullshit? You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself or your mouth shut and, someone else paid the price for you and your shit. Does it ever occur to you that for every action, there’s an eventual and equal reaction? You bring down hell and high waters on yourself and anyone else unlucky enough to be around you when you get in one of your “Moods,” and they’re the ones who dig you out. Every group has that person who’s incapable of guilt because they’re too busy, fucking everyone else over. If You don’t know who that person in your group is, it’s most likely you!

     You’ll let somebody take the fall for something you BOTH did, but you got away, and there’s no sense in both of you going to jail and ruining your lives, so you’ll keep your mouth shut and pretend to support your friend when they’re on their way to prison.

     You went out, got drunk off your ass, and your friends had to keep you from getting your ass kicked. They got their ass kicked instead. You started some shit, and you thought your friends were going to be enough to get you out or back you up before things got too hairy. Next thing you know, you’re all flat or your asses; choked out, knocked out, or you’re getting dressed to attend the funeral for the friend who was shot during the altercation you started.

     You just can’t keep your mouth shut. You can’t let shit go. No one’s going to punk you or get in your face, even when you’re in the wrong. Somebody said or did something, and they apologized, you’re not going to be disrespected. You don’t take shit from anybody. You got into some shit with the wrong person, and now it’s bigger than you can handle. Your woman subcontracted you to a fight you have no knowledge of and every intention of avoiding. She put far too much confidence in your ability to defend her, and she thinks she has the right to talk shit because she’s not the one who’s going to settle it. She can say whatever or do whatever she wants, including taking a swing or using a racial slur. One of your friends got knocked the fuck out or killed over some shit you started.

     Your girlfriends have to babysit you because you’re fuck-faced drunk. You’re dancing on the bar with men pawing all over you, and they have to pull you down and keep your wild ass under control. They have to keep you from hooking up with random men behind your man’s back. You’re determined to go home with the guy you just met. They can’t enjoy themselves or have a good time because they’re busy keeping track of you. You ruined everyone else’s night, but you don’t care, because you had fun.

     You didn’t want to leave your car behind even though you drank way too much to legally or safely drive home. You were too selfish to consider the risk you were taking until after running that red light and smashed into the family, driving home from spending the holidays with the grandparents. You survived, but those children in the other car lost their parents, and here you sit in court, crying and hoping for leniency, You’re young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, but what about the family of the person you killed walking home from the store. You chose to drive drunk, and you felt you were treated unfairly when you got a DUI, just because your BAC was SLIGHTLY above the legal limit. You could care less about all the other people on the road you put at risk because you were just “Buzzed.” To you, that isn’t the same as intoxicated.

     You both had a couple of beers with dinner then drove home with your kids in the car. You got into an accident, and you blame the other driver, or you want to sue because your kids could’ve been hurt. The fact you knowingly drank and got behind the wheel with your children is the same as smoking in your car with your baby in the back seat. You don’t think about the harm you’re putting your children through, and they have no say in the matter. Are those beers worth it? Are you THAT hard up for a cigarette that you’ll subject your baby to secondhand smoke?

     You lied about your age because you think you’re too mature for boys your age. You’re only 16, but now, some 23-year old’s in a world of shit with the law or your parents because you wanted an older guy who could drive or had money. Because of you and your shit, he’s now a registered sex offender, or your father or brothers took matters into their own hands, and they’re answering for something they shouldn’t have done. Your selfish choices landed more than one person in hot water, and you think your half-ass apology will make everything go away.

     You hate wearing condoms, so you slipped it off when you changed positions. She knew you didn’t want kids, but she wanted you to be part of her life forever. You thought having a child would be the solution to all your marriage problems, but all you did was cause resentment towards that child when things got worse. You both lied to each other and said you couldn’t have kids. You said you loved her because you knew she wasn’t going to fuck you otherwise. You told her you wanted her to have your baby. Now, she has to drop out of school and take some bullshit job to support the child you bailed out on. You could care less because you’re not the one who has to take the responsibility; you already have three you don’t take care of

     You know she wants a baby, and that’s the last thing on your mind. You don’t want a kid, and you most definitely don’t want one with her. You know the only way she’ll let you go in without a condom is by telling her whatever she needs to hear to get what you want, and it’s her job to deal with whatever consequence comes from her choice. In your mind, it’s HER choice; she knew what you were about, and SHE should’ve been more careful. You told her up front, and if she was dumb enough to let still you fuck without a condom, that’s HER fault if she gets pregnant.

     You have an STD, but you’ll be damned if that’s going to stop you from fucking tonight. You won’t put your lady at risk, but your side chick’s a different story. You got the prescription, and you only have to refrain from sex for a week while it does its thing, but you can’t and won’t wait; a week’s too long to go without pussy. She has that gift that keeps on giving, and since she hasn’t had any flare-ups or symptoms in a long time, she won’t say anything. You’ll go out on the prowl for pussy and hope you have enough antibiotics in your system that you won’t pass it on. If she’s unlucky enough to catch your burning dick disease, she’s just going have to deal with the repercussions. You’re not going home empty-handed, not even for even one weekend.

     Are you so self-absorbed you don’t give a damn about the destruction and mayhem you cause whenever you’re out of your cage? You’re a bully. You think it’s fun and funny to crack jokes and pick on other people to make yourself feel better. You’ve been relentless in your torment of someone who did nothing to you except inhale and exhale the same air as you. You’re the reason someone walked into your classroom or office building and opened fire. They were gunning for you but took out fourteen other people while you ran out the back door. Your physical and emotional attacks became too much for them, and they took their life. You didn’t know about their battle with obesity or bulimia. Your constant jokes about their stutter, acne, missing or rotten teeth weakened their will to fight their clinical depression, and they took their own life.

     You fucked up someone else’s confidence and self-esteem because yours was in the shitter, and you didn’t want anyone to see you as less-than-perfect. You’re in a miserable time in your life or relationship, and you don’t want to go through it alone, so you fucked up someone else’s so you could have a rebound buddy to hang out with. You wanted to avoid showing your flaws and shortcomings to your friends, so you always point out theirs. You think it’s all in fun to crack jokes because one of your friends has weight issues. They aren’t as popular or good-looking as you are or because of some physical or mental disadvantage. You’re blackmailing one of your female friends into having sex with you with a sex video they made last year during spring break.

     You’re married, and your husband doesn’t make you feel sexy anymore, so you meet another man and make him think he’s going to get laid. At the end of the night, you thank him for the drinks and making you feel sexy again and leave him hanging. You don’t know his mental state, and he follows you home, pissed off, and psychotic. You didn’t think of it at the time, and you didn’t care because you got what you needed.

     You ruined your family with your infidelity because you thought you deserved someone younger, thinner, or better-looking. Your wife’s two years younger than you, but she’s too old for you now. He’s working to make a better life for both of you. You’ll let him pay all the bills, thinking everything’s fine while you save your money to move out or leave him for someone else.

     You told other people something that was told to you privately and in confidence, and it didn’t occur to you to keep it to yourself. Your thirst for popularity fucked up your better judgment, and now you have two or more friends at each other’s throats because you let some shit “Slip out” on purpose. You should’ve kept your mouth shut, but you thought it was a funny story to tell, to get revenge, or you felt your place as the Beta female slipping away. You have a shitty relationship, and you’re tired of your friends and their perfect lives, with their perfect partners, perfect jobs, and everything else you don’t have. Your jealousy will drive you to sabotage what they have with very little guilt.

     You’re sick as a dog, but that won’t keep you from going to work and passing your shit on to someone else. Your respiratory virus or whatever you have gone through the office like a tidal wave, and someone took it home and passed it on to their asthmatic child who ended up in the hospital.

     Don’t you feel guilty about the damage you cause when you got drunk and let it out in open one of your friends cheated? What about letting it “Slip” one of them had a teenage abortion or gave their child up for adoption? What if you let it out the bag that one of your friends is adopted and their parents weren’t ready to have that conversation yet? Guilt isn’t something you’re familiar with because you’re usually the one dishing out the bullshit. You don’t feel guilty because you’re usually the one having a good time while everyone else is taking care of you when you’re drunk, keeping you out of fights, or from making bad choices like sneaking off to have unprotected sex with somebody you just met.

     You’re the person in the zombie movie who’ll push someone in the way of the horde to save their ass. You’ll drive off and leave everyone else behind in the haunted house, to get butchered by the serial killer, or shredded by whatever’s in the fucking woods hunting you all down. You’ll stab a co-worker in the back to land a promotion you’re both qualified for or sell them out and get them fired. It’s impossible for you to feel guilty. You have no concept of guilt while you’re fucking other people over to benefit yourself.

     You say you feel bad, but you really don’t care; it’s fun and hilarious to you while you’re doing it! You feel bad because only because everyone around you knows you’re the main reason the consequences and bullshit happened in the first place. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Sep 20, 2020


     No matter what happens, what you do, where you go, or where you are, you always manage to find yourself an enemy. You have to let everyone in the room know you’re not going to take any shit from anyone. You’re a badass, the big man on campus, or the queen bitch, and you are not to be fucked with. You’re in charge; you know more than anyone else, at least according to you.

     You’re not happy until/unless you’re in someone’s face, beating on your chest or roaring like a lion. You did six months in juvenile detention when you were younger; you’ve been in and out of jail or prison, and you live by a different code. You’re used to walking out into the yard and making your mark before being made a bitch. Not being locked up is easier because you don’t have to worry about getting shanked by one of your friends.

     You woke up in a cage with six other people, given two hours to escape or die, and instead of working together with the others, you’ll go off on your own, or you’ll try to do everything yourself. You’re only out for number one. You’re trying to take over or establish yourself as the leader. If it’s not your idea, you don’t want to hear it.

     You’re the guy in the horror movie who wants to hunt down the killer or beast instead of getting in the running car and driving the fuck away. You’re the woman who always has something negative to say about everyone and everything. Everyone’s jealous of you and out to undermine and destroy you.

     You’re the angry drunk, the bully. You can’t go anywhere without getting into a fight with somebody over the dumbest shit. Your friends have stopped asking you to hang out because you’re an asshole. You can’t let anything go or walk away. No one’s going to punk or disrespect you, especially in front of people, you know. If you run into someone in-passing, instead of just saying, “Excuse me,” it’s “Watch where the fuck you’re going.”

    You’re that girl who thinks the dance floor belongs to her. When your favorite song comes on, everyone had better get out of the way or get knocked over, and you won’t even turn around and apologize; they shouldn’t have been in the way, or they should just expect it and deal with it because you’re drunk.

     You’ll find an enemy in any situation because you’re in a situation you can’t control. You’re scared and don’t want anyone to know you’re scared. You’ll make enemies because you’re out of your natural element, and you need something to latch onto that you CAN control. Anger and frustration are a safe zone for you, and it hides your fear and confusion about the situation. You’ll focus on something irrelevant to the bigger picture and act like you saved the world after you’ve solved it. The car overheated and blew a tire. You’ll act like you fixed the car’s overheating issue after you swapped the tire out for the spare.

     Your “fight or flight” initiative will turn to one extreme or the other, and yours always turns to “fight”        You can’t get along with everybody; no one can, but you’ll take it to the extreme to where you want the object of your hatred to submit to you. You just can’t keep your mouth shut; you can’t admit you’re wrong or don’t know the answer or have a solution to the problem at hand. You always have to be right and in control. People who question you, call you out, disagree with you, or know more than you are a threat, therefore, an enemy. Any challenge will be taken as a direct assault and met and dealt with aggressively and violently via confrontation.

     You make enemies because you can’t deal with people who do not agree with you any other way. You have no intelligent or credible response or action, so your fallback is confrontation. You’ll make a scene and get loud, hoping to get your way through humiliation or someone else’s desire to avoid the confrontation. Then you’ll stick your chest out or flip your hair back in victory.

     You’ll find an enemy anywhere go because you’re looking for an enemy everywhere you go, even if and when your life or safety is at stake. If working as a group earns you a reward or prize, you’ll play along until you see an opportunity to fuck someone or everyone else over and claim success and credit for yourself. You always find an enemy because you just can’t help yourself. You’re jealous, you lack self-esteem and confidence, and you’re afraid it shows. You fake your bravado. You secretly see your enemy as a competition. You’re afraid nobody will listen to you unless you’re a bully. You’re a fucking bully because you’re used to being ignored. You think acting tough will get you respect or laid.

     You don’t know how to make or keep friends. You don’t have anything positive to contribute, and no one’s interested in what you have to say because you’re a dick, and you’re proud of; hell, you broadcast it. You’re a snotty know-it-all or ghetto as hell, and everybody should deal with it because that’s how you’ve always been, and you won’t change. You can’t help yourself; for some reason, you can’t have a good time or even save your own life without starting some shit with someone you just met or don’t even know.

     You just have to be in charge, even if everyone’s on the same page as you; the work and tasks have been equally divided and assigned. Everyone knows their job and what they’re responsible for, and things are running smoothly. That doesn’t work for you; somebody has to be in charge, and that someone’s going to be you. You’re the king of the hill; every idea has to come from you, and nobody else knows shit but you. You strive to be at the top; to be on top, but the higher you aim, the farther they fall. No matter what happens or situation you’re in; you’ll manage to make an enemy. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 30, 2020


     Our priorities are so messed up right now, some of the shit we do as a society should, but don't even shock a person anymore. A man will walk out or cheat on his lady/wife after an argument or at the first sign of trouble, but he'll stay 1000% die-hard faithful to a fucking sports team that hasn't been to, much less, won a championship in 15-20 long years! When it comes to the area, he lives in a grown-ass man who will fight, die, and even kill another person for wearing a rival team jersey during a game; or because someone disrespected his, "Hood," or for wearing the wrong color. He will bail out on his child if/when the mother doesn't want to be with his sorry ass anymore. 


     We'll complain about the prices, out-of-stocks, service, product cleanliness, and general shitty experience of a retail/grocery store or food at a restaurant and swear never to go there again; until next weekend. We're more faithful to places we claim to hate more than we stay faithful to our partners. 


     We'll spend $200 on sneakers without a second thought, but complain about $50 funky ass dollars on Valentine's day for flowers and the 2 for $30 dinner special at the local chain restaurant. You'll pay top dollar for the latest video games and play all damn night, but the thought of a "Just Because" card to your wife never crossed your mind. 


    Last night's meatloaf was dry, so he's out fucking someone else. He fucked up the laundry, and all of a sudden, things aren't working out. 


     We bitch about the cover charge, the drink prices, the fat/ugly men and women, the music, the service, the watered-down drinks, even how bad the bathroom smells, but we'll stay more faithful to that dance club than we will our partner. Hell, a man could get his ass mauled, and his teeth kicked in, but as soon as he's healthy, his woman has nursed him back to health; he'll be right back there again, showing the loyalty he should be showing his lady. 


     Women will walk out on their men at the first sign of trouble but will stay faithful to a shoe brand until her dying breath. She'll hit 5-6 different stores all over the city, trying to find a certain purse, then pay $250 for it, without pause. Men will stay more faithful to a tool brand; women will stay more faithful to a brand of toilet paper or diaper for her child. Men and women will call it quits or step out on their relationship quicker that shit but will stay faithful to a beer or cigarette brand. We'll stay more faithful to a shitty friend who ain't about shit or the paper to wipe their ass with, over our partner. 


     We spend big money on aftermarket rims, stereo, CD/DVD players, touchscreens, etc. for our vehicle, but at no point did the thought of a car seat cross our minds. Women won't lose weight to keep her man's eyes on her, but she'll drop that weight in a second after the breakup or divorce to make herself appealing to other men. A man will die and want to be buried in his favorite football jersey his ex bought him ten years ago, but he just can't seem to locate the polo shirt his lady bought for him a week ago. 


     We put so much trivial shit in front of our partners; it doesn't even register or phase us one bit, which is the worst part; we don't even see it. It goes more overboard when the other person shrugs their shoulders and think it's okay, that's just how they are. If not for you, think of your children, if you have any. You have a man who shows more loyalty to time spent on a fucking video game system than time with you. He'll spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes but bitch about a night out with you. He'd rather spend his entire Sunday, watching sports than to interact with his children on the only day they have free as a family. She's more faithful to her name brand purses and designer perfumes. People nowadays are more devoted to their cereal brands than each other. Most people have one foot out the door, waiting for the first sign of trouble, and it's either Adios or they're with something else!



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 23, 2020


     Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news, much less a witness to the aftermath that may come with it. It does happen, though sometimes it has to happen. It's inevitable; a runaway train with no brakes or way to stop a crash from happening. The truth was bound to come out eventually, and the fucked up situation that unfolds afterward can range from awkward as hell to funny as fuck, depending on how warped your sense of humor is.

     Bad or funny, awkward or uncomfortable, to witness someone's discovery of some fucked up truth, what if you're the reason the truth came out?. It wasn't intentional, the wrong info came out at the wrong time n front of the wrong people. How do you react? What do you do? What can you say? Do you try to help the guilty save face and pretend it's a joke? Run the other way and watch that ship float or sinks on its own? Dash in the opposite direction to avoid being caught in the middle or shanked by mistake? Or do you pull out your camera phone because you know some fucked up funny shits about to go down?

     What if an innocent question, comment, complaint in front of the wrong person cause a scene or situation. Now you're stuck right in the middle of, with no avenue of escape? You meant well; you're just doing your job, and the result was spilling some shit someone else has to answer for. What if, during the typical performance of your job, you come across some information you have no choice but to reveal, knowing it's going to lead to a volatile situation?

- The cop who just pulled over a car and the woman inside just found out the guy she's on a date with is driving another woman's car; what's even worse is they've had sex in that car. An even bigger smack in the face will be when she finds out the other woman is her date's wife!

- The co-worker or supervisor who just asked the girlfriend/boyfriend if they're the spouse. Or the subordinate who just wished his boss and his girlfriend a happy 15th anniversary.

- The friend who just put it out in the open that you DID date/sleep with the opposite-sex friend you lied to your partner about while you both were in college. Hell, you almost got engaged.

- The priest who baptized two children over two weeks; the first was a married couple; the next weekend was the same guy but with his girlfriend.

- The doctor tells you that you have an STD, but your partner's test came back negative.

- The stranger who just let it out that the girl you just started seeing isn't the front office manager she told you she was, but a stripper who gets drunk and sucks dick for money.

- The teacher between parents who just found out their spouse has been fucking someone else who turned out to be their kid's best friend.

- The doctor in the room who just gave a pregnant woman her six months check-up. She tells the happy couple everything looks normal and healthy, but the confused husband tells the doctor he's only been home from deployment for three months.

- The pharmacist who has to stand there while someone has to explain to their partner why they just got a prescription for antibiotics for an STD when they told their partner they were getting meds for a UTI.

- The cellphone retailer who just asked the girlfriend if she's the wife on the account in front of the married man.

- The friend who just asked you about the guy/girl you were out in the parking lot with to fuck or went home with and fucked last weekend, not realizing their fiancee' was standing at the bar behind them.

- What do you do when you're the cashier who just rang up $150 sneakers for a couple when the girl's boyfriend shows up, catches her using the cash he gave her on another man and demands the cashier to refund and return his money.

- The waited who's serving the table when someone just got caught with somebody else having dinner. They already ate, and he can't pay the bill because his date walked out pissed, and his woman took back her bank card when she dumped him.

- The hospital staff who has to tell a man his son/daughter isn't his when there's a serious medical issue or accident, and he wants to donate an organ or blood to his child. Or when a man finds out, HE has a medical condition that made him infertile for years, but his wife is six months pregnant.

- The new friend you recently met, they call your spouse by your side piece's name, thinking they were the lover you've been bragging about.

- That person you've known for a few years who didn't know you were married, and they say so when they meet your spouse for the first time.

- That person who compliments or comments a change in the appearance of the person you're with from the last time they saw him/her, but they've never met.

- Confuse spouse or significant other with their child.

- The banker who just revealed the secret account or credit card in someone else's name.

- The mortgage broker that just gave away the presence of a second address while a married couple is refinancing their home. How about being the car dealer who just spilled the beans about the purchase/payment of an unknown 2nd vehicle when their car's brought in for service.

- The doorman at the club who just caught and confiscated the fake I.D. from the 16-year-old girl. She was trying to get into the club with her 22-year-old boyfriend, who she lied to about her age. And they've been dating/sleeping together for the last four months.

- The police officer who pulled over and has to arrest the guy for a warrant and suspended license. Plus, he has to impound and tow the car, leaving the woman he's on a date with, stranded 20 miles from her place.

- The coroner has to show two different people who show up to identify the same body of their spouse.

- The tax person who just asked you in front of your girlfriend/boyfriend if you'll be filing separately this year or married like last year.

- The hotel manager who asked you if you'd like your normal suite when you and your significant other show up to get a room for a romantic getaway and the other person's never been there before.

- The jeweler who just showed you the wedding ring you took in to have cleaned, instead of the earrings you had made for your girlfriend.

- Your regular mechanic/car detailer who just called to tell you the car you don't have is ready.

- The saleswoman who just asked your wife how she liked the sexy lingerie her husband bought her two weeks ago she NEVER got.

- Everyone in the delivery room where the husband's white, the wife is white, but she just gave birth to a biracial baby.

- The bartender who let it slip that you were at the club last weekend when you told your partner you were working late; they made a comment about who he thought were the two of you in the parking lot last week after closing.

What if the person who's just learning about something for the first time has questions for you? What if they want details as to whatever it is you just threw out in the open? If your profession dictated the release of information, one person tried to keep private, that's not your fault. If you happen to let some shit slip, I guess they should've been more careful about their bullshit or not have been doing it in the first place. The point is for you not to feel like you betrayed someone's trust or confidence. Definitely, don't risk your job, trying to keep someone from getting caught in their bullshit. If one of them is your friend, how do you think that friendship is going to continue after the storm clears and they're single, unemployed, or just plain passed out? If you find yourself in the middle of some shit, the best thing to do is turn your signal on, get all the way over to the right, and get off at the next exit and let traffic continue without your participation.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 09, 2020


     Coffee's not the only cliche', but it's fucking boring. Coffee as a first meeting or first date is a predetermined restriction on how much time a person has dedicated to spending getting to know enough about you and puts a 30-45 minute timer to plead your case for their interest or a first date. You essentially have until they finished their dessert or iced mocha whatever the fuck they ordered to convince them you're worth a chance.

     The suggestion of a movie as a first date will most likely always be met with rejection. "We can't talk during a movie" is their defense. So what you're saying is all we get is 90 minutes with you on the first date? Can't we meet before or talk afterward? Again, the time frame has been pre-established, but realistically, not wanting to see a movie on the first date isn't even something some people believe; it's more of what they've heard or been told by other people.

     Women are quick to shoot down the idea of a first date movie. They'll suggest dinner instead. First of all, if you're not paying or have any intentions on at least contributing, you have very little reasonable say in the planning or events of the date. That may sound shitty, but it's true. What women don't realize is that when they speak of, "Traditional" style dating, the man had 100% control over the date and the woman went along with whatever he had planned, so before you start talking shit about a man being TRADITIONAL, learn the whole fucking tradition, not just the part that benefits you by him paying!

     The first date should more about chemistry than conversation. Of course, communication's essential, but hopefully, you've spent some time via phone or text to decide on the initiation of the first date anyway. Besides, what's wrong with talking AFTER the movie? Even on the drive home, if the available time for the night's against you?

     "I can't see your face over the phone" is what a woman will say. "I can't see your eyes when we talk on the phone." "I want to see your eyes!" "The eyes are the window to the soul!" Shut that shit up; that's some shit you either read, heard in a movie, or from someone else. You came up with that silly-sounding shit to reinforce your case against the idea of a movie. The truth is that most of the other suggestions for a first date are just as ridiculous as irrational as you'll say a movie is for a first date, you just haven't put that much thought into them because you're merely repeating someone else's thoughts about it. Still, they're just as bad, if not worse.

- LUNCH/DINNER - I don't know about anyone else, but the last thing I want is to look across the table to see someone talking with a mouthful of food. Who wants to see a piece of salad of steak wedged between their date's teeth while they're having a conversation?

- SHOPPING - Awkward as hell. Grocery shopping is NOT a practical way to get to know someone, just because they're already out and about, and they're just a few minutes from where you are. Clothes shopping can also put someone in an awkward position in the event the person they're meeting up with is materialistic; you'll end up spending money you don't have to try to impress them or giving out too much info about your financial status.

- CHURCH - Just like your thoughts about a movie, you can't talk in church. Not only is it a weird situation to be in, what if the two of you don't share the same faith or religious ideals?

- HIKING - Once you're done, you have to clean up, even if it goes well enough to where you want to continue the first meeting into a first date. One person may be more accustomed to hiking than the other, and in an attempt to keep up with or impress you, they overextend themselves, resulting in an unhealthy situation.

- WORKING OUT/EXERCISE CLASS - This could be seen as a bad idea due to just plain, old, self-esteem. She may feel self-conscious about how she looks in workout clothes, especially if the women around her are smaller with tighter bodies. She may feel like shit because she's huffing and puffing on level 2, and every other woman around her is on level 7. He may not be as gym savvy as she is, and nothing will make him feel more like shit than if he can't keep up with her step or bike class. He may not be able to do as many push-ups or lift as much weight as he believes he should, and that'll fuck with his manhood. Also, the potential for injury, trying to impress each other, can be ridiculously high.

- FAMILY FUNCTIONS - You're just inviting them to a picnic, but to the other person, you're trying to introduce them to your family WAY too soon, and that'll run someone off quick, fast, and in a hurry. To them, you're moving far too fast into a relationship situation.

- DOUBLE DATE - Unless all four people know each other before the date, this is a bad idea because it puts the odd person at a disadvantage. He/she doesn't have the same relationship or history as the other three people sitting at the table. It's very easy to end up excluding them from the conversation as the others recall or reminisce over something that happened in the immediate or distant past. They can also be phased out of date altogether by the influence of a friend who may not want you together at all. It allows an escape or an unintentional diversion or their attention from the date to their friends.

- GROUP OUTING - For the same basic reasons as the double date, inviting someone out for a group outing restricts the one on one interaction, which is the point of the first date, to begin with. Especially when dealing with members of the group they may not have seen in a while, they'll want to monopolize your date's time, catching up, etc. Every time you try to converse with each other, someone else is walking up, interrupting you. Not to mention, the potential to get the wrong impression of your date, based on the behavior and personality of their friends may screw them over as well.

- SPORTS BAR - How's this any different than a movie? You're only getting half your date's attention; their other half keeps looking past or behind you at one of the 25 television screens, checking the scores or the last touchdown play. Even if you both are into sports, the situation's still the same; you BOTH are partially ignoring each other to watch the game.

- BOWLING/SKATING - From bowling to skating, what if one person has never done it? Do you think it's funny, cute, or endearing to laugh if they suck ass at bowling or keep falling down in the middle of the rink? Think you'll get a second date? What if they fall somewhat hard an injure themselves? Yeah, every time they look at the cast on their broken arm or brace on their knee will remind them of how great a fucking time they had with you! That's why they never called you back; they had SO much fun at the ER!

- COMPETITIVE ACTIVITIES - Some people take competition WAY too far. Why would you take someone paintballing who's never gone before and you play every weekend? Trying to impress your date with your skills will almost certainly backfire; it's about having fun, not showing off, or winning. A lot of people have a hard time remembering that.

- SPORTING EVENTS/CONCERTS - Just like a movie's a bad idea in your mind, how is a basketball/football game or concert any different? You can't talk; it's too loud. Besides, you're there to watch the game of the performance. Any conversation between the 2 of you takes away from the focus of the event in question.

- WEDDING - Just... Hell... NO!!!

- ANYTHING WITH KIDS - This can be tricky; don't just spring your children on your date when you show up. If your children aren't well-behaved, you're sure to make the first date the last date. If you can't get a sitter or they cancel at the last minute, communicate that instead of just bringing you kids along; just like family get-togethers, this is a step to take far too soon. Do you want to keep bringing new people around your children regularly anyway? That puts a fucked up idea of relationships in the head of your children as well.

- HAPPY HOUR - Yeah, they want to see you possibly get shit-faced drunk or vice-versa. They want to babysit you or watch you babysit someone else. Instead of enjoying your night together, getting to know each other, now you have to adjust or cut your night short because you have to take someone home.

- PARTY - Why would you think this is a better idea than a movie? This is a group outing on crack! Between the possibility of a fight breaking out to the ex showing up and ruining your night to the compromise of your safety, not knowing anyone there, but the person you went with. If something were to happen, you couldn't even give an address or the last name of anyone at the party.

     You may not even have had an issue with a movie until you heard someone else say how bad they think it is; in reality, there are so many more places and activities that are just as bad, if using the, "Can't talk during" defense. People get so stuck on just that one thing, and they rn with it as if it were law. Don't be so quick to dismiss the idea without considering how bad YOUR suggestion may be to that other person. The point of the first date should be more about physical and personal chemistry over the conversation, trying to figure out what kind of person they are face to face. Coffee is an awkward position to be in because one of you will always be looking at the clock or for a way out, JUST IN CASE of the meeting doesn't as planned, even if you're having a good time.

     What happens if/when you hit it off and don't want to end it just yet? By the time you've decided on the first date, you should already be at least somewhat interested, not trying to figure it out during the first meeting. Rushing prematurely into the first date without getting to know each other is setting themselves up for a potential one night stand or first date fuck. They could also be giving the impression they're looking to rush into a relationship or don't care about getting to know each other in-depth. Again, the first date should be more about chemistry over conversation; a lot of that should've already taken place.

     Although I don't see anything wrong with some of these ideas for a first meeting or date, quite a few people do; the question you should be asking yourself is why do YOU have an issue with them, not what someone else has told you, read in a book or magazine article. Make up your own mind. Realize when you turn down someone's idea for a meeting or date, you've already begun planting an impression in their head about you and the course of your interaction, whether good or bad, so be cautious but honest about how you bring it across. Don't agree to something you're not going to be into, because believe me; it's going to show if you're not enjoying yourself.

     Before you criticize a movie or suggest coffee, think about it. Get to know the person you're talking to, and you'll have a better idea of who they are so you can make a better-informed suggestion for the first meeting or first date. Really thin about why YOU believe some ideas are better or worse than others, and not just because somebody told you a movie was a shity idea and dinner was a better one. What you may have heard from someone else was or is a good or bad idea that may turn out to be the best first date you've ever had. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 02, 2020


     There's a huge difference between being happy and being satisfied in your sex life. Your partner loves you and enjoys the emotional connection you have when you're physical and sexual, but being physically satisfied is a whole other topic. Communication is the number one defense against getting the two confused, and most people won't talk to each other about how to make their sex life better to where both partners are being satisfied. There are a few reasons why you or your partner won't say anything.

- YOU/THEY WON'T LISTEN ANYWAY - They haven't had complaints in the past, so you shouldn't either. No one else cared enough about you to talk to you about how to make things better. Willful ignorance is enough. Men will take suggestions from his lady as a personal attack on his masculinity, pride, and ego. Even when it's just the two of them talking about it, he can subconsciously hear his friends making fun of him because he can't, "Please his lady" He's worried that if he doesn't believe he's handling his business, someone else will or will be trying to convince her to give them a chance.

     Women won't listen because her man won't listen to her. Why should she do what HE likes if he won't listen to her? She'll get sick of being cheated out of her satisfaction, her orgasms, wanting to try new things, or whatever. Sooner or later, she'll accept things won't change, and she'll either accept this and go on being unsatisfied, avoid having sex whenever she can, or she'll find somebody who can drop the dick down on her like a sledgehammer. She won't leave you for him, which is why the guy she's having sex with will most likely be undesirable to her in some way; education-wise, mentally, emotionally, socially, or economically. She'll also choose someone who may be in a relationship already or unavailable to reduce the chances of any type of attachment on his part.

- YOU/THEY'LL QUESTION THE ORIGIN OF YOUR REQUEST - If/when your partner comes out of the blue and asks for something new, adventurous, and different from their normal routine, one of the first things the other will do is wonder where these new ideas came from; who have they been talking to. They'll start to suspect you're fucking around, thinking about it, or you're talking to or complaining to someone you shouldn't about your sex life. Instead of seeing it as an attempt to improve your sex or give them satisfaction as well, they'll see it as a reason to accuse you of doing something you shouldn't.

- LACK OF INTEREST - If it goes on long enough, one or both of you will get bored with the sex you have and won't put into improving, so you'll just stop having sex altogether. Here and there; special occasions, boredom and there's nothing on television. The sensuality and intimacy have more than fizzled out, and the complacency has filled the void that was once your passion for each other.

- SELFISHNESS - They could care less if you get off, as long as they do. Men are more guilty of this reason, but women are just as faulty. They know you're not getting yours, and they don't care, as long as they're getting what they want. The man knows he does not satisfy his lady, and he doesn't care, as long as he's getting his. A woman will put her man's pride on trial by telling him he has to perform certain acts to please her.

- CONTROL - You both want to control what goes on in the bedroom, which probably means you're trying to control what goes on in the relationship, and it spilled into the bedroom. She doesn't want to give up her power or individuality; she thinks he's trying to make her look slutty in the eyes of others. How she looks to strangers means more to her than satisfying his cravings.

     He's swimming in masculinity; he's never had any complaints before, so she shouldn't have any either. He'll take his suggestions as a bid for power in the bedroom, and it's only a matter of time until she tries to extend that outside the bedroom. He won't give her control because he'll feel like his manhood is compromised. His and her pride and self-preservation will be challenged as they go back and forth, trying to control the bedroom.

- LACK OF EXPERIENCE - One may be far more experienced than the other, and that will cause the other person to feel like they're not good enough. They know they don't satisfy their partner, and since there's no communication, they don't know how to get in sync or back on track. Frustration will eventually take over, and surrender will most likely be the end result, whether just giving up with having sex altogether or accepting what's offered and dealing with it. The problem is when dealing with it, there may come a time where the more experience of the duo may look for satisfaction outside of the relationship.

- FEAR OF ATTACKING THEIR SELF- ESTEEM - Couples tend to take criticism personally, even if constructive and delivered with the softest and genuine intentions. They won't see it as a suggestion of improvement; they'll see it as a personal attack. Not wanting to shit on their partner's self-esteem, they won't say anything.

- NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM - There's very few things that will fuck someone's head up faster or harder than not being able to perform sexually. When your partner asks for something that will satisfy them, and you're unable to deliver, you'll melt like ice cream on a hot summer day. It's easier not even to try and believe you'll be able to deliver than to risk leaving your partner bent like a pretzel both physically and emotionally, as well as unsatisfied. With men, it'll only take one time to try and fail before he gives up on any idea of improvement and go right back to the same unsatisfactory sex, he's been giving all this time. Women will try, fail, and try something else.

- NERVOUS/UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU WANT - You may not even know what you're missing out on because you never had it before, but you know there's something missing; you know your sexual relationship's going down the drain, and you know you need to do something to revive it, or you're afraid your partner will start searching for someone who can meet their needs. One or both of you have been raised to think anything other than traditional sex is something to be ashamed of, so you'll stick to what you think, and feel is appropriate, and you'll just have to deal with what you’re doing and hope it heals itself. It won't.

     You can be happy in your relationship and utterly unsatisfied with your sex. You can be satisfied with your sensuality and intimacy, but your sex is fucking boring, and you'd rather just lie there until they're done or avoid the whole act altogether. The shitty part is when your partner's so blind they don't even notice. You're happy and satisfied with your sex, and that's what important; to you. There's nothing wrong with being happy; happiness isn't an insult. Not being satisfied isn't an insult either, if you're willing to listen to your partner when they try to communicate their lack of satisfaction.

     We have to be realistic; as we get older, we know we're not going to completely satisfy each other on a physical or orgasmic level every time; that's not the subject of this story. When you get to point to where one or neither of your needs are being met, there's something wrong, and it needs to be addressed and resolved as quickly but as delicately as possible. Having a healthy and utterly open line of communication is the primary weapon in not only this situation but almost every situation that can and will arise in a relationship. Not taking things personally or allowing your pride or self-preservation to get into the way of the improvement of your relationship is the second step. Just because someone brings something to you that may better your lives together doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong; it could be a suggestion to make things better and more enjoyable for the both of you.

     Being happy is one thing; you can be pleased with each other, and sex between you two is an emotional experience you enjoy, but you're just not getting off physically. No one wants to know they do not satisfy the person they're with, but it does happen, especially if and when you've been together for a long enough time. Between pride and fear, there are so many reasons sexual satisfaction will fizzle out.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 26, 2020


     No one enjoys being made the fool. People don't go into relationships, hoping to get fucked over, but it does happen; it's a fact of life. While some have been lucky enough to not have had to experience being the victim of infidelity while others can't seem to avoid it, no matter what they do. The dark truth is most of the time, there's nothing that can be done to prevent it.

    That being said, trying to investigate every little inconsistency or weird inkling is a waste of time. Trying to catch someone doing dirty shit or preventing nasty shit from happening is destructive and unproductive; if it's going to happen, it'll happen, and all the control and preventative measures you employ won't stop it.

     All the accusations and investigating. Text-snooping, phone-checking, and stalking their email. You'll look like a fucking psycho, contacting everyone on their social media page, trying to figure out who they are and if they're doing anything with them. Keeping tabs on your partner is ridiculous and an unnecessary strain on your relationship. There's also a risk to your physical health and well-being. Trying to prove someone's guilt or prevent being cheated on can lead to both emotional and physical problems. Stress-related issues. High blood pressure. Ulcers. Migraines. Digestive problems. Eating disorders. Depression; even suicidal thoughts can manifest themselves in the most extreme cases. Is it REALLY worth it? For something, you can't prevent it. You can't control what someone else does; if they're going to fuck up, they're going to fuck up. Are you genuinely willing to put yourself through some shit, possibly for something that may not even be happening?

     There's some truth to the belief that if there's a feeling, there has to be a valid reason, but what about those people who are actually innocent? What's even worse is when you're wrong, and you find out you're wrong. How do you rectify all the bullshit you just put someone through only to find out they're just as faithful as you've been? What can you do to make things better? If you're right about your suspicions, the relationship's over. If you're wrong, you run the same risk, all for something you couldn't manage, even if you wanted to. Once the lines of trust and doubt have been crossed, the journey back will be a difficult one. You are trying to reconcile from infidelity or redeem yourself from false accusations.

     No matter how hard you try, you're not going to keep someone from fucking you over, if they intend to do so. If they truly want to step out on the relationship, it's going to happen, with or without your permission or how hard you try to prevent it. Being a strong-minded, confident person will allow for an easier recovery when things do go wrong. The ability to heal from whatever happened should be more of a focus than the investigation.

     People will go so far as to enlist the help of others to catch their partner doing dirty shit. Men and women will convince their friends to make a move on their partner; the drawback is when they end up choosing the absolute wrong person for assistance. That shit will definitely end up backfiring on you. The mission of your so-called "Spy" was just to deliver an innuendo or a few flirtatious invitations, not knowing their goal was to break you up for their benefit. They'll take it too far, go out on the proposed date, fuck your partner, then claim they did it for you. Where YOU become the dumbass is when you ignore the fact they went out and fucked your partner because you're so focused on proving you were right all along.

     While you're so busy, trying to catch your partner doing dirty shit, you may miss out on some shit that's going on right in front of your face. One of your friends is trying to get what you have. You're so wrapped up in your investigation that one person you're confiding in could be feeding you bullshit or putting themselves in a position to become their next option when your psychosis has gotten the better of you, and your present relationship ends. Then you're stuck wondering what the fuck happened when all along, nothing was going on, and you fucked up the best relationship you ever had, trying to play inspector. The fact of the matter is that if they WERE doing you wrong, good riddance; if they weren't, you sent them to the arms of the same person who was trying to drive a wedge between you in the first place.

     If it's going to happen, it'll happen, no matter what you do. If you're not ready to let things run their course without being suspicious 24/7, maybe you're not prepared to be in any relationship. Maybe you're hurting from something that happened between you and your partner you thought you could get past; perhaps you're still hurting from a past relationship. In any case, make sure you've healed from your past before bringing the unnecessary baggage from your past to your present; rest assured, it'll fuck up your future.


     No one enjoys being made the fool. People don't go into relationships, hoping to get fucked over, but it does happen; it's a fact of life. While some have been lucky enough to not have had to experience being the victim of infidelity while others can't seem to avoid it, no matter what they do. The dark truth is most of the time, there's nothing that can be done to prevent it.

    That being said, trying to investigate every little inconsistency or weird inkling is a waste of time. Trying to catch someone doing dirty shit or preventing nasty shit from happening is destructive and unproductive; if it's going to happen, it'll happen, and all the control and preventative measures you employ won't stop it.

     All the accusations and investigating. Text-snooping, phone-checking, and stalking their email. You'll look like a fucking psycho, contacting everyone on their social media page, trying to figure out who they are and if they're doing anything with them. Keeping tabs on your partner is ridiculous and an unnecessary strain on your relationship. There's also a risk to your physical health and well-being. Trying to prove someone's guilt or prevent being cheated on can lead to both emotional and physical problems. Stress-related issues. High blood pressure. Ulcers. Migraines. Digestive problems. Eating disorders. Depression; even suicidal thoughts can manifest themselves in the most extreme cases. Is it REALLY worth it? For something, you can't prevent it. You can't control what someone else does; if they're going to fuck up, they're going to fuck up. Are you genuinely willing to put yourself through some shit, possibly for something that may not even be happening?

     There's some truth to the belief that if there's a feeling, there has to be a valid reason, but what about those people who are actually innocent? What's even worse is when you're wrong, and you find out you're wrong. How do you rectify all the bullshit you just put someone through only to find out they're just as faithful as you've been? What can you do to make things better? If you're right about your suspicions, the relationship's over. If you're wrong, you run the same risk, all for something you couldn't manage, even if you wanted to. Once the lines of trust and doubt have been crossed, the journey back will be a difficult one. You are trying to reconcile from infidelity or redeem yourself from false accusations.

     No matter how hard you try, you're not going to keep someone from fucking you over, if they intend to do so. If they truly want to step out on the relationship, it's going to happen, with or without your permission or how hard you try to prevent it. Being a strong-minded, confident person will allow for an easier recovery when things do go wrong. The ability to heal from whatever happened should be more of a focus than the investigation.

     People will go so far as to enlist the help of others to catch their partner doing dirty shit. Men and women will convince their friends to make a move on their partner; the drawback is when they end up choosing the absolute wrong person for assistance. That shit will definitely end up backfiring on you. The mission of your so-called "Spy" was just to deliver an innuendo or a few flirtatious invitations, not knowing their goal was to break you up for their benefit. They'll take it too far, go out on the proposed date, fuck your partner, then claim they did it for you. Where YOU become the dumbass is when you ignore the fact they went out and fucked your partner because you're so focused on proving you were right all along.

     While you're so busy, trying to catch your partner doing dirty shit, you may miss out on some shit that's going on right in front of your face. One of your friends is trying to get what you have. You're so wrapped up in your investigation that one person you're confiding in could be feeding you bullshit or putting themselves in a position to become their next option when your psychosis has gotten the better of you, and your present relationship ends. Then you're stuck wondering what the fuck happened when all along, nothing was going on, and you fucked up the best relationship you ever had, trying to play inspector. The fact of the matter is that if they WERE doing you wrong, good riddance; if they weren't, you sent them to the arms of the same person who was trying to drive a wedge between you in the first place.

     If it's going to happen, it'll happen, no matter what you do. If you're not ready to let things run their course without being suspicious 24/7, maybe you're not prepared to be in any relationship. Maybe you're hurting from something that happened between you and your partner you thought you could get past; perhaps you're still hurting from a past relationship. In any case, make sure you've healed from your past before bringing the unnecessary baggage from your past to your present; rest assured, it'll fuck up your future.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 19 2020


     It's over, and you both know it, but you can't make the break; finances, kids, shared expenses, obligation, fear, or comfort. To everyone else, you're the perfect couple; you don't fight, argue, or react to negativity or drama. That's because you don't care; there are no accusations, suspicions, or interrogations. You do you, and they do the same. As long as the bills get paid, it's all good. Everyone's jealous of what seems like a flawless match.

     Why can't you make the break? Perhaps it's the thrill of having the best of both worlds; she gets to maintain her relationship with you and take her time finding and meeting your replacement. She can cultivate a relationship with someone else without rushing in or jumping out of one right into another. He gets to go out, meet other women and fuck around, but can still come home to fuck if he strikes out. They both know the other's halfway out the door, and it doesn't phase or bother either of you because she knows he's meeting, dating, and fucking other women. He knows she's seeing someone, somebody's already showing interest in her, or she has someone in mind. They have an unspoken agreement not to bring those people around their kids or to the home they share.

     Neither of you can really afford to move out or live on your own. You'd rather live in a house together than an apartment by yourself. You feel the kids need to have both parents under the same roof. Whatever the reason or reasons are, you're roommates who fuck; in-house FWB. It makes sense to the two of you, but don't seem to understand why others have an issue with it, or why they won't date you. The thought of living with the person you're halfway in a relationship with doesn't cross your mind at all.

     On the outside, you act like things are great, but you know they're not. You both put on a happy face when you leave the house. Your relationship is fun, laughter, and the envy of those you know. You're the perfect match for each other at your respected workplace functions. You're all about respect and courtesy. What they don't see is what happens behind closed doors; you barely speak, and you're always off, doing your own things.

     You're playing house, no different than when you were young children. You act like a couple, but you know that shit isn't real. There are a mommy, daddy, and kids. The difference now is the play kitchen's real, your place is real, the kids are real, and when you're bored and tired of playing, the game's over.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 5, 2020


     Addiction to porn is something most couples go through at some point in their relationship. Where one person would rather sit in front of a screen and fantasize about being with someone or somewhere else, having some type of sex they're not getting at home, for whatever reason. Without getting into the reasons why someone would choose the world of make-believe over a flesh-and-blood partner, society views porn as something vile and revolting; something to be ashamed of. I don't agree. True, it can easily get out of hand and become addictive; but so can video games, sports, soap operas, reality television, social media, the list goes on. Anything in moderation can be both entertaining and harmless; keeping it in moderation is what people seem to have issues with.

     What happens when you can't control what you eat? How much you eat? Overindulgence in everything from food to cellphone usage can have addicting effects on people. While some can't even leave the house for 15 minutes without their cell phone. To those who can't even eat a damn pastry, without snapping a picture of a fucking cupcake and uploading to social media. Too much of anything has the potential to be harmful in one way or another. Porn is no exception.

     That being said, when speaking inside the realm of moderation, porn could and does have positive effects, depending on how you look at it.

Porn satisfies a desire for fantasy. Things you may not have the courage to bring to your partner. You may be single and come across something you never thought about; an attraction to a specific sized man or woman. A previously unrealized interracial or multi-ethnic attraction. Something unconventional that allows you to step out of the normal for a while and live through someone else's experiences. If you're in a relationship, porn can open you both up to things you may not have even thought about; Costumes, role-playing, foreplay, etc. Maybe there are things you've wanted to try with each other, but felt weird about having those thoughts or desires. Watching porn together brings you to the conclusion that your ideas aren't that far-fetched; that it's normal and done by more couples than you thought. What you considered, "Freaky" or, "Nasty" is practiced relatively regularly, just not in your normal, "Cookie-cutter" social circle.

     Porn can be used as entertainment; nothing more. It's cool to watch. It's cheaper than the strip club. Porn can be a life-saver when you're in a dating or sexual slump. Research. Being single, porn can teach even the oldest dog a new trick or two. It could be just what you need to avoid the whispers of inadequacy from potential future partners. It can allow a person the ability to discover things about themselves, their own bodies, or desires they may not have given much thought to. The potential for self-discovery is almost limitless. As a couple, porn can rejuvenate your sex life. When both parties are willing to accept new ideas into their dynamic, that doesn't always necessarily mean threesomes or multiple partners, which is where most men seem to hit the ground running towards like a kid on Christmas morning. Foreplay; porn can be a fantastic precursor to sex. We all know how quick that first release can come when you're excited, and getting that first one out of the way will make intercourse last much longer.

     Porn allows for the exploration of yourself and your partner, learning what turns THEM on and vice-versa. New positions, fantasies, fetishes, and techniques. Porn can initiate or unlock a primal, sexual side in yourself or your partner that could blow your fucking mind. The possibility of opening Pandora's box. Going from the same 2-3 positions at the same time, the same way, on the same day? Nowadays, she can't even walk past him without dropping to her knees or climbing on top of him. That ball game just doesn't have the same importance as it did before; he's too busy trying to get his clothes off and into the shower with you as fast as he can.

     Porn allows you the freedom of variety without cheating; as long as you keep your fantasies in your head, your pants zipped up, and your dress/skirt pulled down. Porn is safe sex; you can't get an STD/STI from your hand or fingers. It's less dangerous than a one-night stand or a first-date fuck. You can enjoy yourself and get yourself off safely in your own home and behind locked doors, instead of taking the risk of going to someone else's place, not knowing what the fuck you may be walking into.

     Porn is sex without judgment, exploration, and experience without embarrassment or humiliation. Porn is a safe alternative over risk. In the right light, porn can be a hell of a teacher when you need a tutor to help you navigate the class to a higher, more exciting world of sexual expression between you and your partner. Like so many other things, moderation is paramount. It knows when you're spending more time fantasizing instead of implementing with your partner. If you can't get excited or last longer than 5 minutes with a real-live person, but can go all night watching porn, you need help, just like over-eating, over-training, etc. Whatever your vice is, good or bad, when you go overboard, no one wins. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 28, 2020


     You're bragging about how much sex you're getting, but it's all quantity, not quality. Ladies, you aren't pulling dick, you're getting fucked. Men, you aren't pulling pussy, you're fucking whatever you can stick your dick into; and yes, there IS a difference.

     Are you truly the ladies man or player you think you are? Ladies, are these guys giving you money and feeding your ego because you deserve it, or because they know when they go out with you, they're going to get some pussy? Are you getting so much pussy because your, "Game" is that smooth, or are you going for pussy that hasn't been fucked in so long, it has tumbleweeds and spider webbing in front of it? Or maybe you're fucking pussy that fucks everyone it comes across. Are you going for women who's just happy someone's taking an interest in them, even though they know what you're all about?

     You're bragging about getting dick that would fuck a shaved gopher if it had a big enough ass. You're proud to tell your buddies how you fucked three women over the weekend. You're either proud or confused about your low standards. A woman will out a good, decent man's value on the same scale as those who don't have a pot to piss in or a place to throw it out. You're flying so low to the ground because it's safer in case you run into resistance, or you don't have the skills to master flying as high as you truly want to. Maybe it's because you're a single-propeller WWI biplane and you're trying to dogfight against a radar-resistant, next-generation, cloak-capable, heavily armed warbird of destruction.

     Are you pulling pussy, or are you fucking what's easy and available? Are you working hard and earning your pussy paycheck, or are you content with or happily living off the government? Are you picking the good berries from the tree or the ones that are already on the ground? Are you truly pulling and working that dick you're bragging about, or are you just giving up the pussy and accepting money and gifts? Whether you realize it or not, when you go into work the next Monday, talking about how all these men you have been doing things for you because they like you, you're telling them you're being paid to fuck.

     You claim to have the gift to pull all this pussy or all these men at your feet, but what type of pussy or dick are you REALLY attracting? Are you just bragging about fucking or your ability to find pussy? Are you attracting these men, or are they just coming you because they know they get to fuck? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy? You're bragging about all this pussy you getting high-caliber, quality pussy, or, "Junk ass"? Are you stepping into the ring with well-trained, equally matched opponents, or someone who just started taking cardio kickboxing for the first time? You're proudly claiming dick that no one else wants has already had or has been turned down by every woman you're bragging to. You're bragging about pussy everyone else has fucked. You're not pulling pussy; you're fucking outcasts and pussy that'll open up for the 2 for $25 meal special at the local chain restaurant and think she's living the high life.

     Stop fucking and make them wait a month; hell, make them wait three dates see how many of them ask you out a second or third time. Get a reputation that you're no longer a first date fuck and see how quickly you well dries up; how limited your choices become. Expect and demand more time and effort into getting in your pants, and all that dick you're bragging about pulling will dry up like a fucking desert. Your popularity comes from your pussy, your ego from your willingness and ability to suck dick on the first night. Your reputation for being a ladies man and your confidence comes from scraping the bottom of the barrel, wiping the outer rim and bottom of the bowl with your biscuit, trying to get the last bit of sauce. You're trying to lick the cake batter bowl!

     If you're giving up the pussy, give up on the thought of meeting someone special, and of good quality, unless you go looking somewhere you've never been before; your reputation at your regular social or professional has been decimated. Is quality even a goal for you? Or are you happy putting in a little as possible for the scrap sex you get? You're giving out raggedy dick like last year's Halloween candy to fat kids who give a fuck, as long as it's candy. In her mind, she's working game on him because she has all these other men coming at her, but her pussy is her symbol of status, her centerpiece, her personality. You think you're playing him because you're pulling all this dick. Not only are you playing yourself, but you're also getting fucked in the process by guys who wouldn't even look your way if you weren't giving up the pussy.

     They don't want to go out with you or be seen in public with you, but they know they HAVE to get the pussy. You think you're pulling pussy, but you're fucking women who are just grateful to have a dick! Don't act like your something to be revered. You probably did take her out and, at some point, kissed her without the thought of how many dicks she's sucked and swallowed just last week alone! You're hopping on top and riding unprotected dick like a cowgirl, and he could have mad cow disease on his shit!

     You're not pulling dick; you're giving up the ass and getting fucked. You're trying to make your friends and co-workers jealous with stories about getting fuck by raggedy dick. They may act interested and envious of you to your face, but they're laughing at you behind your back; if you only knew how many other women he's fucking or fucked. If you only knew how many of them had turned his nasty ass down until he found, you. You're looking for celebratory support and accolades for fucking nasty, stank, drunk pussy they've already fucked or are STILL fucking, along with everyone else in the office or at the club. Are you truly pulling pussy or fucking easy pussy? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy?


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 14, 2020


      You did or said something fucked up and got caught or called out on it. Instead of owning up to it, you offer what you think is an apology by saying, "I'm sorry you took it that way" or, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

      You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them, plain and simple. You were offensive or condescending, and they let you know, you just weren't ready for it. Your bullshit, a half-ass apology isn't even an apology; it's as an accusation of their oversensitivity.

     Why are you REALLY saying you're sorry? Because of what you did or said, or is it to differ the situation and avoid escalation? Are you apologizing for HOW you said whatever you said that pissed the other person off? Most likely, you're saying you're sorry for thinking the other person was too dumb to realize what you did or said was so fucked up. "Sorry, I hurt your feelings," is nothing more than saying, "Great! Now I have to wipe, powder, and coddle your frail-minded, fetal ass through this until you get over it".

     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" isn't an apology, it's a deflection. It shifts the spotlight from the offender and places the blame and focus on the offended. To them, it's YOUR fault you're so fucking sensitive you got butthurt and sand in your asshole; they're sorry they pushed your baby bitch button. Their apology is them telling you you're fucking soft and need to harden your ass up. Just because someone brought something to you doesn't mean their feelings got hurt; you pissed them off. In their mind, you didn't realize what you did or said was fucked up; as a friend, they brought it to your attention, and you dismissed them. Your half-ass apology compounded the situation.

     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" is saying you're a fucking crybaby, and now they have to say they're sorry for making you show it. It's an underestimation of your intelligence and ability to take something and let it roll off your back. They're saying sorry for assuming you were too simple-minded to decipher whatever they said or did as shitty, and it was; just plain shitty. Then they fed you bullshit on top of it because you called them out on it, and now they have to make amends for it. The apology isn't meant for the person who was offended; it's to make the offender feel as if they realized their error and learned from it. It's all about clearing their conscience. Women say it to make a man feel like shit for being bothered by something, basically putting his manhood on the cutting room floor. Men say it more to make her feel oversensitive.

     You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them. You may not realize or want to admit it, but that's what you did. You can't control how someone takes what you did or said, so don't argue; don't defend and don't make excuses. If you're going to say you're sorry, do it for what you did or said, not how they took it. Don't dismiss or trivialize how someone feels when they bring something to you that offended them. Don't assume you hurt their feelings and don't accuse them of being too sensitive. You fucked up and said something stupid or offensive, and instead of owning up to it, tried to shift your stupid, shitty comment into an accusation. You assume someone's feelings are hurt because it's the first thing that came to your mind when you realized the other person caught on to what you did or said. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 7, 2020


     When talking about love, you have to be careful how you use it; "I love you" isn't something to play around with or take lightly, and it definitely isn't something to just throw out when you don't mean it. Love isn't the word to be thrown around or to be said and left open for translation. From the love of self, love for people in general, friends & family, to romantic and even maniacal love, clarity is paramount when telling someone you love them. You may be talking about having a love for someone, but they've translated it into romantic love, only to have the truth come back and bite them in the ass later because you weren't clear with your words.

     It's the responsibility of both people to seek pure clarity when talking about love. If both are saying it, they BOTH need to be perfectly transparent about the feelings and sentiment they're trying to relay. Having a love for someone isn't the same as being in love with them. Loving someone isn't the same as being in love with someone. Men, you aren't stupid or ignorant; you know your lady. When you use the word "Love," you know EXACTLY how she is going to take it unless you spell it out and define what you mean without beating around the bush or trying to remain ambiguous about the type of love you're referring to. If you allow a woman to believe you're in love with her, knowing that's not where you are, then you're an asshole, plain and simple. You know they have or will relate it to romantic love. Trying to claim you didn't mean it the way she took it is fucked up when/if she calls you out on it.

     After being caught cheating, talking to, or spending time with someone else after using the word love, just to turn around and blame them for how he/she misunderstood what type of love you meant makes you an asshole. You purposely avoided being clear about your feelings beforehand because you wanted and needed a bullshit excuse for when you got caught doing dirty shit. You'll make sure she understands what type of love you REALLY meant when she catches you doing some dirty shit.

     Women don't normally use the word, "Love" unless they actually mean it. If they're not there yet, they'll tell you. They'll define their love if it's any type, other than romantic without hesitation. Even saying the words are important to a woman and they're cautious as caring for a newborn child when it comes to stating feelings of love, whether to family, friends, or a partner. Women are more inclined to feel and admit her love sooner than a man to everyone, except that man; she'll wait on him to say it first to avoid putting herself out in the open for fear of rejection. She'll tell her co-workers, friends, family, etc. On the other hand, men will NOT admit his love to anyone, EXCEPT, the woman he means it to, not even his best friends. He'll assume they just know.

     So, why do people say, "I love you" when they really don't? Out of obligation. They've been in their relationship for so long, they feel it's the right thing to say, or they believe if they don't say it, the other person will end the relationship. Obligation to keep the relationship together and each other happy. Some ridiculous, unrealistic, and non-existent timeline will convince them it's about time they said it, and sooner or later, they eventually mean it anyway.

     People will say, "I love you" for sex, pure and simple. Especially men, they know their woman's holding back a level of sexual expression and desires he wants her to give him, but she's reserving that side of herself for the man she's in love with and loves her too. He'll want 100% of what she has to offer in the bedroom, and he knows to tell her he loves her is the key to that treasure chest of freak nasty shit he wants her to do.

     The response is another reason people will say, "I love you." Their partner said it, so it's just natural for them to say it in response. It's second nature for them to say it back, without even thinking about it.

     Saying, "I love you" immediately puts an end to any conversation about deeper feelings or emotions. A man knows that's what she wants to hear when she's asking about the direction the relationship is heading. What his intentions are, or any thoughts about his feelings about her or the relationship. He doesn't want to get into it right then or at all. He wants to get back to the game or the computer. Hell, he wants to get back to mowing the lawn if it'll get him away from the conversation.

     People will say, "I love you" because it benefits them in some way. The person they're saying it to is proving them with something, whether it be financial, physical, emotional, or materialistic. They know saying those three words put them in a position to continue receiving whatever they are getting from the recipient. The giver may genuinely love the receiver, but it's only one-sided. The love they claim to have is only stated to ensure a place to stay, a car to drive, or money in their pocket.

     Whatever the situation, any reason other than true love is a shitty reason to tell someone you love them, even if it's to save the other person from feeling vulnerable or foolish, honesty is the best policy. When you're using the word, "Love," make sure the intended person knows precisely what type of love you're talking about if it's not romantic love. Don't use Love ambiguously; don't leave it open for interpretation because you want to avoid talking about your actual feelings. Sex is the absolute most fucked up reason to tell someone you love them. Remember, at some point, you've been on the receiving end of the same situation, or you may be in it as you read this. Love is a feeling, a reason to celebrate, appreciate and enjoy everything that comes with it. Don't be an asshole and turn it into something you pull from your toolbox when you need to fix or adjust a situation to fit your needs.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 31, 2020


     Even the most faithful men and women will most likely end up with a side-piece at one time or another, but not in the way you might think. There may be a friend or relative, male or female your partner doesn't really like you hanging out with because of their behavior or reputation. They don't like you being around each other, and they'll tell you they have an issue with you hanging out with them because of the negative influence they expose you to. Wanting to avoid an argument or to keep them from causing a bigger issue than what it could or should be, you tell them you won't hang out with them anymore.

     You know that's a lie; you told them that to get them off your back; to end the conversation as quickly as possible. You told them that to make them happy and avoid the bullshit. You've been friends through a lot of shit over the years, and just because your present partner doesn't like them, you're not going to abandon the friendship. You just want to avoid ripples in the relationship, so you decide the best route to go is to cheat on your partner with your best friend.

     She has that one friend who's the life of the party. You can bet she's the type of girl who'll jump up on the bar and flash the entire room for drinks. She has a man, but as long as she doesn't hook up with them, anything else goes. Your man doesn't like you hanging out with her because she's always trying to get you to be more, "Independent," not to let your man, "Tell you what to do." She tries to talk you into doing the same shit she does, dancing with other men. You've been friends since high school, and you'll tell your man you won't hang out with her anymore after the last time she got drunk, hooked up with some guy, and ended up on your couch. That's a lie; you're cheating on your man with YOUR best friend.

     You may not see this as cheating, but look at the truth behind it; you lied to your partner about not seeing someone, or you told them you wouldn't spend time with them, knowing you would. You left the house, knowing you were going to see them, and you have no intention of telling your partner you were around them. You went to a movie, dinner, the bar/club, wherever. You know if your partner found out, they'd be pissed because you deceived them. You know if you got caught, you'd have to come up some of the same bullshit excuses you'd come up with if you got caught cheating with someone of the opposite sex; ESPECIALLY if the friend is of the opposite sex. All the components of cheating on your partner are there.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 10, 2020


     It's your favorite purse. That watch goes with everything you wear. It's the warmest, most comfortable sweatshirt for a lazy day of curling up and watching movies on a lazy weekend during the winter. It's your favorite dress, shirt, or suit.

     The problem is that watch was a gift from your ex-girlfriend. Those earrings were from your former fiancee. The sweatshirt was your ex-boyfriend from his college years. The question is, should you still have it? Should you still be wearing it? Even worse, do you think your present partner wants to see you in that shit? If you're single, who cares? If your new partner doesn't care, it's all good. But what if they have an issue with it? What if they don't know where it came from? Should you wait for them to ask, or should you come clean and admit it upfront? Would or could you part with it if they told you they felt insulted and disrespected that you thought they'd be okay with it?

     If the relationship ended negatively, why would you want any reminders of such a fucked up situation? If it was amicable, don't you think you may be sending a signal that you might not be completely over your attachment to that other person? You may not see anything wrong with it, but even gifts from your ex-partner's kids may cause a rift in your present relationship. Is it disrespectful to not only hold on to certain items after a breakup? Is it fucked up for your new partner to have an issue with it?

     You flaunt it around proudly, even though it's one of your favorite items, and you expect your partner to accept and get over it? Some like a television, laptop, furniture, or something of that nature is one thing; something you purchased together may fall into that category as well. There are certain things that hold a value of convenience and a value of sentiment. The items of sentiment are those that are in question. An item of clothing, jewelry, pictures, or other personal memorabilia should be common sense. Why the fuck would you think your new partner wants to have sex with you on the silk sheets your ex gave you on your anniversary? The lingerie she bought to turn another man on?

     Experiences are just going to have to be dealt with. You can't get bothered if your partner's ex took them on their first cruise, and they want to do it again with you. It was their first and only experience at an amusement park, and they want to share it with you. Sexual positions and/or experiences are absolutely off the table of being exclusive to a single relationship; that's shit you're just going to have to just deal with, especially in your older/more mature years. You cant get caught up wondering how many times tor how many people they've done something particularly enjoyable for the both of you.

     Any rationalization or defense of keeping something that came from an ex is a delicate situation with explosive properties. One one hand, if you own up to it upfront, you run the risk of your partner having issues with it; on the other, you risk an even bigger storm of shit from your partner if they found out down the line. Regardless of the answer and if you agree or not, open communication is the first step, depending on what it is, cop to it, and allow them to tell you how they feel about it. Should these things be returned? Boxed up" Burned? Pawned for cash? Are you that selfish and self-centered, or do you really feel there's nothing wrong with holding on to items given to you from a previous relationship?

     It doesn't matter if it's your favorite whatever it is; if it came from your ex, you have to willing and ready to part with it, upon request. You'll give the impression you're still holding on to that relationship, or some part of it. Even an old picture of an ex and their kids or family may hold some sentimental value to you, but don't bring that shit out to show your, new partner, thinking your funny story behind the photo will be as amusing to them as it was to you and your ex at the time it happened. Your memories from your previous relationships are really of no interest to your present partner. They don't care about that trip you took, the funny thing that happened at their parent's anniversary dinner, the drawings his/her kids gave you while you were together. Toss it or keep that shit to yourself.


     Should you burn that sweatshirt? That's up to you, but to wear it when you're cuddled on the couch or snuggled with your man makes you an asshole. You don't have to wear the ring your ex gave you on your very first Valentine's Day when you're out to dinner on Valentine's Day with your new partner. Don't even think about wearing the jersey your ex-girlfriend bought when the two of you went to your first football game together; that's just as shitty. Yeah, it's comfy; you've had it forever. Your last ex had no problems with it. These are not reasons to excuse, rationalize, or defend you against how your present partner should feel about it. How your friends think your partner should feel is none of their concern to the subject. Holding on to something from a previous relationship is a gamble; you take your chances with each new relationship that just may be the one that doesn't want to imagine or see you wearing or displaying something your ex gave you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 3, 2020


     True, you get to keep the peace in the home, or in your relationship, but at what cost? Your thoughts and opinions have been voiced, heard, and acknowledged many times over. What if there was something that was bothering you, but you can't or won't talk about it, not because you're afraid of physical or mental abuse, not because you thought you'd be punished, or not taken seriously? Some people just don't speak their minds because they don't want to cause waves or ripples in the water; they don't want to miss out on an opportunity, or they just don't want to hear the other person's fucking mouth about it.

SCENARIO 1. Marcus and Trina are in the checkout line at the store, paying for their groceries. Being an interracial couple, they know certain people have issues with them being together, and they have absolutely no intention of letting those individuals bother them in the least bit. It wasn't a shock or surprise to them to hear a woman standing behind them talking shit about them being together. What's sets this situation apart is that this woman isn't on the phone talking shit, she's not with her girlfriend talking shit, she's with her MAN talking shit! On and on she goes, calling their relationship an abomination; how white women are, "Stealing" good black men, how white women are doormats, or the only reason they're together is that she sucks his dick or takes it in the ass.

     People are entitled to their own opinion, the question is, why does this concern her in the least bit? A better question is, why the fuck does she think her man wants to hear her bitch about another man and what he's doing? The ultimate question would be why that man doesn't that man stand up for himself and ask her who the fuck cares? Why isn't he telling her to shut the fuck up? Because he's afraid he'll piss her off and he doesn't want to hear her mouth at him. In his mind, he knows she's going to bitch about something; as long as it's not towards him, he'd rather sit there with his mouth shut.

SCENARIO 2. Beth is an absolute prize. She's smart, funny, and down-to-earth. She doesn't mind paying for her half of the date; hell, she has no problem asking a man out. Along with the stereotypical "Girl stuff," she also likes sports, action movies, even video games. Everyone likes Beth. Her male friends and/coworkers will tell you how cool she is, and she a wide variety of interests and hobbies. On paper, she's the perfect catch for ANY man. So, why's she still single? At 5'7" and 170 pounds, not many men see past her weight when it comes to being attracted to her. In walks Jimmy, a good-looking guy who catches the interest and attention of his fair share of women, and he knows it. Whether in the office or at the bar, Jimmy's known for having short-term relationships or going after women who are more likely to have sex with him after just a date or two. Jimmy's not one to put in too much effort into someone who isn't giving it up.

     Although Beth knows about Jimmy's alleged reputation, you'd ask yourself, why the hell would she still go out with him, knowing all he wants to do is fuck, especially when she doesn't even really want to on the first date? Not only will she put her all into the experience, giving him everything he could ever ask for sexually, hoping he'll be persuaded to take an interest in her. Why won't she speak up and tell him she's not ready? Because she knows if she does, that'll be the last time she hears from him.

It's not to say men will always keep things to themselves in order to keep the peace with his lady. He won't turn that hot girl at the club away, even though he despises smokers, and she smells like a fucking chimney. A woman will reluctantly swallow for a man she just met, or even HER man, even though she really hates doing it. A woman who knows her man's temper when he's angry or agitated won't ask him to calm down because she knows how he is and doesn't want that anger directed to her. 

     A man won't speak his mind if he's dancing with a woman, and she keeps biting his ears really hard or pinching the fuck out of his nipples. He's so worried about upsetting her and running off potential pussy; he'll just take it and laugh it off. A woman will give a man she has absolutely no attraction or chemistry with her phone number, in order to avoid having to admit she's not interested or avoid being asked to explain why she isn't, only to have to deal with him the next time she sees him at the club. A guy will have sex with a woman he thinks is ugly as fuck; as long as he's getting pussy and his friends don't find out.

     People won't speak their minds because they're afraid of losing their friends who may be alcoholics or pot smokers. They don't want to be labeled a bitch or an asshole. They want to avoid being labeled a troublemaker or whistleblower at work. They don't want to be known as someone who can't be a team player when needed fear of missing out on advancement or other opportunities. People hate being wrong. Some are just more comfortable being sheep than shepherds. People don't speak up because of their need and desire to fit in; the price of alienation or exclusion is one they're not interested in paying. You care more about other's feelings and how they think then your own.

     There's always the possibility of physical violence when speaking up. You may be in a relationship where your partner has been known to take things to a physical level. Not just men, but women also. They view you're speaking up as both defiance and a physical challenge. Men will see this as a play for control of the relationship he must defend. Women will interpret her man's voice as an attack on her independence, which she'll defend like a battle flag.

     Sinister reasoning is another reason people won't speak up. Tim knows for a fact John's not reassembling the carburetor correctly, but he won't say anything to him, because he doesn't like John and will do anything, he can to make him look bad. Tina knows the time of the new client presentation was changed from 10 in the morning to 9, but won't tell Ann until 8:30, because they're both up for the same promotion and she knows Ann's more qualified, so she'll do anything to make her look bad in front of the big bosses. Jason doesn't like his neighbor, Mark, so when Jason sees him trying to use a chainsaw to cut down a tree in his yard and he's not wearing safety equipment. Jason won't speak up, because he hates Mark so much, he wants to see him get hurt.


     You don't speak up because you don't want to upset anyone or make them feel stupid, even if they're wrong. If they believe they're right, they'll continue to do the wrong thing, and eventually, someone WILL correct them. What if they're doing something unsafe? The last thing you want to do is direct your partner's anger and frustration at an unrelated situation to you, so you keep your mouth shut and allow them to disrespect you. Keeping the peace is one thing; silencing yourself to keep others from disliking you is something totally different altogether. You should never sacrifice your voice, just to appease others or to keep from losing someone, even is that someone is important to you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 26, 2020


     For far too long, women have allowed other women, friends, family, and even strangers to influence how they receive attention and physical affection from her man or men they find themselves attracted to. Women have allowed men to dictate what they'll give and what they expect in return on THEIR terms. Not just her friends or family, but society as a whole will put her morals, self-respect, and/or reputation on trial if she gives into her sensual and intimate inner self or desires and fantasies.

     Are there REALLY women out here who get dressed for a romantic night out with her man, hoping he won't make her feel like the sexiest, most desired woman in the room? Women have each other brainwashed into thinking her man's disrespecting her when/if he wants her hands in his pants or his inside her dress or down her blouse. PDA, making out, or however the physical activity may take form, women will attack and criticize a man's respect for his lady if he interacts with her in the way they don't approve of. They'll talk shit about her if they don't know the woman; if they do, they'll try to convince her that man's degrading her or making her look like a slut. So what? Why wouldn't a woman want to do what her man likes or vice-versa? Not to imply anyone should do anything they don't want to do, based on their own personal convictions, but not wanting to look bad on the eyes of someone else should never trump your partner's needs.

     On the subject of needs, communication is key when it comes to making sure each other's needs are being met. Too many times, people are either turned off or offended by the discussion of physical and sexual needs. Conversations about sensual or intimate expectations are met with negativity. Women will take offense to it, thinking it's too soon to be talking about it, and men won't bring it up wanting to avoid running a woman off. It could also be that both of them may not even know what their needs are, or are afraid of talking about it, not wanting to give the other person the wrong impression. She doesn’t want him to think she's a whore who goes around rubbing her ass up on every guy, and he doesn't want her to think sex is the primary thing on his mind.

     How two people behave towards each other is their business, that's their relationship and how they choose to show their attraction to each other. If they both crave and enjoy it, it's not yours or anyone else's place to criticize or question that; it's no one's place to imply any negative thoughts about their respect for themselves or each other. Not to say a couple should be making out and groping each other in a family restaurant, in the middle of the grocery store, or anywhere children would be; being appropriate in the right environment IS important. Most people who see this behavior as negative are either jealous because they aren't getting it. They're unaware of how it feels because they've never had it. They've had someone else tell them it's wrong, dirty, or even sinful to act on or desire it. People see it as negative because they're secretly craving it themselves, but can't get it from their partner, or are afraid of judgment in the eyes of their family or social circle. Fear of being labeled a "Freak."

     Women have issues with being open about their need for more intense sensual and sexual affirmation because they were taught to believe a woman should behave with more dignity and self-respect. Sucking her man's dick was dirty. Having her man's hands all over her body and showing her how bad he wants to bend her over right then and there was shameful. They were raised to believe women like that are degrading themselves. Women were ALSO raised to believe a fucking fairy princess was an actual occupation for little girls. Little girls were allowed to believe raising a child was as simple as caring for her baby dolls. Obviously, they grew out of that bullshit, so why would this be any different?

     The reasons behind a man not wanting his woman to be more assertive and expressive sexually are much simpler. Sure, he may have been raised to believe he's disrespecting his lady by expressing his sensual or sexual attraction, but that's not normally the case. Where porn is so readily available and abundant, a man's ability to separate porn from real life gets blurred a hell of a lot more than women. A man won't view the physical and sexual expression as a matter of respect vs. degradation; he just doesn't want it from his lady because quite frankly, he can have that anytime he wants. He's more into the thrill of the porno hunt. He'll turn down his lady when she wants to show him public intimacy and sensuality, claiming to have more respect for her than that, or he'll tell her that's not how he is, at least not with HER. Let him go out with his friends; he's fucking women, "Doggy-style" on the dance floor. Some men will grind on another woman so hard he'll literally bust a nut on himself in his pants. His mission for the night is to get a handful of ass and any other indicators she'll go out to his car and fuck him like a titan at the end of the night. He'll try his best to get his hands down the inside of her dress or top. Don't be fooled; your man WANTS to feel and get felt up, just not by you!

     Men won't judge other men about how they treat their women based on sexual interaction. They see it as a good thing. Whether they admit it or not, most men WANT a woman who's open enough to slide her hand inside his pants and stroke him until he releases himself, even if she's ugly as fuck. If he's dirty like that and doing dirty shit, he won't care how the other woman looks; his focus is on busting a nut and bragging about how it made him feel like he was in a real-life porno scene. The reason he wouldn't want his lady to do it is that he's trying to maintain a certain level of distance between them so he can play down their relationship in case he sees something else he likes. That also explains why your man will distance himself in public at the club but will want his dick sucked when they get to the car or want her, "Freak nasty," when no one else is around.

     Stop letting strangers and their opinion of you put your need for sensual and sexual attention on trial because they think it makes you look trashy or cheap. Who gives a fuck what they think? Stop allowing your friends to tell you your man doesn't respect you because he's always on you trying to feel you up. Don't let people put stupid shit in your head, trying to convince you all he wants is sex all the time. So fucking what if he does? If you like it too, what's the big fucking deal? You're a grown woman, you pay your bills, have your own life, and answer for your own actions. If someone can't accept you for who you are as an individual, are they REALLY your friend, or are they just looking for another lemming to follow their expectations? Especially if your friends are single, always in short-term or miserable fucking relationships. Why would their opinion matter that much?

     Stop letting your man deny you what you need to satisfy your craving for physical/sexual expression or affirmation. Stop allowing men to ration out what they want to give you or want you to have. Trust me when I tell you men WANT a woman's ass grinding on his dick, look at how most men dance with women; that should be your first fucking indicator if you can't even rub your man's dick through his front pocket in public but wants your inner fantasy freak when no one else is around. It's not that he's worried about making you look bad; he just doesn't want people to see how involved he is with you; he wants to maintain his "Dating but single and available" status. When he goes back to the same place that following weekend, he can play you down as a first date or someone he's just, "Hanging out with."

     Go ahead, try it. If you've never been in a relationship where your man just wanted to be all over you when you're out together, not just at home, go for it, you may not have been exposed to it in the past or been raised to think it brings an unfavorable impression to others. Still, you may actually like it, even develop a hunger for it. You may love it; you may hate it, but make it about you, not what someone else thinks. If you know it's what you need and your partner can't or won't give it to you, then you have a decision to make. Don't deny yourself what you want and need and don't do the same to your partner. Be open to communicate freely and to at least try with an open mind; you may be surprised.

     No woman in a relationship hopes to meet a man who doesn't want to make love, have sex, or fuck her like an animal. If there are women out there like that, she's with the wrong man. A woman WANTS to be taken, bent over, and fucked like a caveman, maybe just not by the man she's with, but she does want it. Maybe her man isn't putting out the right vibe for her to desire that from him, but she does desire it. Remember when you were younger, and whenever you did something wrong, all your parents had to do was give that fucked up look, and you knew you'd better stop, be quiet, or you knew you were getting your ass beat when you got home? A woman wants that with her man; when you're out having dinner, at the movies, dancing, whatever. She'll cream herself silly when she looks over at her man, and he gives her same fucked look; that look that tells her when they get home, she' going to be walking a little crooked that next morning or he wants to take in the restroom right then and there and bend her ass over the sink. If you're the type of man who can't look at his lady that way every now and then, the two of you need to sit down and communicate your needs and desires for one another. If they don't mesh, like anything else, your choices are to deal or re-evaluate your decision to stay together.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 20, 2020


     When a relationship or friendship has run its course and, the end has come and gone, most people take the high road and walk away without regret and a better understanding of themselves, along with a learned lesson or two. Others just can't let that happen. They can't just walk away and move forward; they feel as if karma's too busy to lend a hand or taking her own sweet time to rain down retribution and, they'll want to lend a hand of their own for revenge. After a breakup, we all like to think we'd be able to lick our wounds and just get past whatever happened, but some people just aren't built that way, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity. You'll feel an onslaught of emotions; anger, humiliation, depression, pain, betrayal, and sometimes revenge. 


     As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold; the truth is, revenge is a dish best served never. We want the offender to pay for screwing us over, thinking we're getting them back, but the truth very rarely does it affect the object of vengeance on the intended level. Sometimes it does works, and when it does, the damage is ridiculous. The question is: Why go through the hassle, the planning, and the obsession of wanting to get revenge in the first place? For closure? Learning experiences. Or just plain old-fashioned payback? 


     When somebody has done us dirty, it's natural to want them to know how much their actions fucked us up. We'll want them to feel exactly the way they made us feel, hopefully learning a lesson and keep them from doing it to someone else. Even if that were true, it's not like you're going to give them another chance, or vice-versa, so you'll never really see or find out if your plan of revenge worked. The revenge-seeker isn't interested in protecting anyone else. Hoping they've learned a lesson means even less. They'll never see or reap the benefits of the change in the person. Another sad truth is even though the revenge seeker may claim or even believe their goal of revenge is to protect others from suffering the same fate, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but the seeker. Any other reason they come up with is straight bullshit. 


     There are many reasons people seek revenge on those who have done them wrong or feel the need to be taught a "lesson." Plain and simple immaturity. They don't know how to handle rejection or being hurt; they don't experience bad luck or being fucked over often and don't know how to deal with it. On the other hand, it may have happened so much in their lives, they've reached their limit, and it's time for some payback. 


     Revenge is for people who can't move on. Vengeance is their closure; they need it to put their pain to bed and begin anew. Once revenge has been served, even if there's any level of gratification, it'll only be temporary, and it won't live up to the expectation of the fantasy. It won't make you feel better; again, if it does, the feeling of retribution will only last a short time and will never live up to what your expectations. You'll look like an ass, especially if the other person has moved on, and you can't or haven't. They'll either make fun of you or refuse to engage your silly ass, and that will anger you and fuel your desire for more revenge. You care more than they do; the offended has allowed their goal of revenge to consume their attention, keeping them from possibly meeting someone else. They'll be un-dateable until they come to their senses and move on. 


     In relation to infidelity, a woman may want to "Warn" another woman about the guy she's currently seeing or just talking to. A man may make up or embellish a story about his experience with a woman in order to make her into something she's not. In the workplace, a person may seek revenge against someone who bested them out of a promotion or advancement and wants to set them up for failure in front of others. 


     How would a person go about seeking revenge? Truthfully, it depends on the imagination of the seeker, as well as the severity of the offense. Of course, you are being lied to or cheated on being the worst. Stealing could be another one, causing someone humiliation, embarrassment, or inferiority could be others. People will spread rumors and gossip. Everything you may have told the offended person will now most likely be a matter of public record. Any of your friends, you've expressed a dislike for or talked shit about behind their backs. They now know exactly what you've said about them. They'll talk shit about you to your friends and theirs. 


     The revenge-seeker will approach the new partner of their ex and attempt to "Warn" them about how bad their relationship was. They'll enlist the help of their friends also to sabotage any attempts to move forward to someone new. They may lie about still being together, the cause of the breakup, or still having sex. The seeker will make sure to run into you while you're out, so they're seen will someone new to initiate jealousy. They'll take their new partner to the business or restaurant the ex-works. 


     They want you to see them getting attention. They'll hit the gym, thinning out and dressing sexier, in an attempt to get a reaction. Women will take to social media, posting pictures of herself out on the town, having the time of her life. Men will immediately change their relationship status and make suggestive comments about his newly single status. They'll brag about how wonderful their new partner is and how they wasted their time with anyone else. 


     In extreme cases, some will use their children as tools of revenge; they deny visitation or restrict availability out of spite. If divorced, they'll keep their married name, knowing it bothers the ex-husband. Staying close to and maintaining a relationship with the family or children of an ex is another way to stay in someone's life and siphon revenge slowly and continuously. They refuse to return your shit. The seeker will intentionally date someone of a different race, knowing the ex may be prejudice or racist. 


     Giving the impression they may be more sexually active than before may bring out a reaction from the offender. In case of crossing paths with the ex, the offender will make out with random people. They walk by more than necessary, hoping to catch their attention or allow them to overhear others' comments on how hot they look. They'll show a level of physical attention and sexuality with someone new, throwing it your face. They'll hit on your friends and even try to fuck one or more of them. They'll make you think you're getting back together; they'll come back and try to have sex. Once the other person believes there may be a reconciliation, the seeker will flip it and use it to twist the offender's head around and fuck their head up. 


     The seeker may mess with your credit or finances. They call or text and pretend it was an accident. If they see you with someone new, they'll blow your phone up, trying to find out who the person you were with was. They'll drive by your place to check for an unknown car parked out front. They won't return your pet.


     People feel as if the offender deserves it; they've gotten away with it for so long, revenge is about due. The drawback? In hurting the person that hurt you, there's a more than probable, almost definite chance you'll involve and hurt someone innocent who has absolutely nothing to do with whatever happened between you and the offender.


     Insecurity will drive the need for revenge, fear of being alone while the other person moves on. People will seek revenge for fear of failure. The offender may have destroyed the fantasy of romance or relationship for the offended. Some people rely on others for identity, but once that's taken away, due to a breakup or end of a friendship, the requirement for revenge will consume the offended. They may have abandonment issues stemming from their past. Revenge keeps the offender in the life of the offended. Revenge keeps you angry. Letting go or choosing to walk away without revenge doesn't make you weak or gullible. 


     When it comes to revenge, one of the important things the seeker doesn't give any thought to is the collateral damage their revenge will cause. Someone innocent will almost always get caught up in the bullshit between the seeker and the offender. Lying about them cheating or trying to get back together will cause doubt in the new partner. Their self-confidence may already be fragile, and your need for revenge has fucked them up even worse. Your obsession with revenge will cause your friends to question who you are and won't be as comfortable telling you things about themselves in fear that you'll use the information against them if the friendship ever went sideways. They may believe you'll make a play for their significant other if you feel they did you wrong. Revenge is nothing more than a way to hold on to the past. Face the pain of what happened and avoid the stages of the end and starting over.




Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 12, 2020


     Our friendships are the foundation of our social circle. The company we kept shape us as children, teenagers, have such an impact on how we interact with people as young adults and well into maturity; whether positive or negative. Our friends influence how we interact with our co-workers and even strangers.

     Sometimes trying to hold on to old friendships is the absolute LAST thing you should do, depending on the situation. There can be consequences for trying to keep a friendship back in the day. That best friend you played varsity ball with through high school and even went to college together may have chosen a path of selling drugs, running with a gang, or some other type of criminal activity. While you're walking the straight and narrow, doing what you need to do to support yourself and your family, hanging out with that old friend got you caught in a crossfire between a rival gang or drug dealer.

     Sarah and Becky have been inseparable best friends since Jr. High. Going on to the same high school and even to college together, becoming sorority sisters. Ten years later, Becky's climbing the management ladder at her company; unfortunately, Sarah's life choices landed her into a chasm of alcoholism or drug use. Trying to be a good friend, she allows Sarah to move in with to get clean. Imagine the surprise on Becky's face when she comes home from work to find out Sarah robbed her for drug money, or her drug addict friends are smoking pot or shooting heroin in her house that's about to get raided because she's allowed her pimp to run prostitutes through her place.

     There's a point where friendships have run its course and it's time to move on. Sometimes these friends aren't as bad as being drug dealers or users; they could just be in the same place mentally as when you met so many years ago. If they're still the same people you knew from back in the day, it may be time to sit down and figure out why this particular friend hasn't evolved into adulthood or a more mature lifestyle. They're still the player they were in college or the party girl from the sorority house, and you're so far past that, just being around them makes you feel like than who you are.

     Another thing to consider; unfortunately, who you choose to associate with publicly does have an impact on how you're viewed in the eyes of other people. For example, you could be a good, decent, hard-working guy. The fact that you're hanging out with a guy who is known for being players or generally disrespectful to women or just out for sex, trust me, that's how you'll be viewed as well just by association. Just like a woman or a group of women. If one or more of your female friends are known to be easy or quick to fuck after a few drinks, chances are, men will think the same about you until you set them straight. Be ready for them to be shitty though; your friends are slutty, so you should be too.

     Trying to keep friends past the expiration date can also be a bad idea in terms of your professional career. Tom's as hard-working as they come; he's the go-to guy in the office. Mike, on the other hand, chooses to wait until the last minute to finish his projects or reports and often hands them in incomplete or riddled with mistakes. Sooner or later, Mike's going to drag Tom's reputation down; it'll never happen in reverse. It's easier to drag someone down than to build someone else up.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 5, 2020


     You tried. You gave it your best shot, but you just couldn't quite make it work. Hey, at least you tried; that's more than what some people can say, even on their very best day. There's no shame in failure, as long as you can look in the mirror and be confident you gave it to you very best. Nobody's perfect, and failure is a part of life, just like success. Without failure, they joy of success wouldn't be nearly as sweet. Understandably, no one wants to admit failure, whether it be building and flying a kite to starting a business. We all want to walk into every project, knowing that kite's going to fly the way it's supposed to, or you've just stepped onto the first rung of the next multi-million-dollar business ladder.

     Now the truth. We're not fail-proof, not by a long shot. No one is exempt from or above failure. Those hard-core business tycoons with houses on every coast. The athletes who defy gravity and logic with their moves and bank accounts to the actors and entertainers who sellout crowds by the thousands didn’t just wake up one day being the best at what they do. They failed also. They tried different things and failed until they found what they were good at, and it brought them to where they are now. What makes you any different from them? What makes you unworthy of the same success others have been blessed with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; the only difference is they were willing to try. They owned up to and accepted their failures. They had the motivation and the drive to continue until they found their path to success.

     People are afraid to try because they fear what others may think of them. If they fall short, they'll question themselves in other areas of their lives, not even remotely related to what they were trying to do. If their business fails, they'll examine their ability to provide for their family, their competence at their job, or their marriage/relationship. They fear what others will think of them. Why the hell should you care about what someone who isn't even trying thinks of you? The truth is, you shouldn't, not at all. Again, at least you tried. And you learned something.

     People fear failure because they think others will lose interest in them. They think if they try and fail, they'll lose their significant other to someone they see as more successful or smarter—fear of being seen as less intelligent. Failure will definitely fuck with a person's confidence and self-esteem for sure. Fear of disappointing those you love/care about—ridicule and criticism from friends, co-workers, or even family or partner. No one wants to hear, "I told you so," especially when they're trying their hardest to succeed. Fear of failure will make a person physically ill; butterflies, cramps, headaches, etc. Admitting failure is embarrassing. Admitting failure is admitting shortcomings. Fear of failure is fear of being replaced both in relationship and career.

     In their love life, people fear rejection. No one wants to be seen approaching someone, just to be sent away, especially men. Women will prejudge and assume a she's not good enough for a man she views as out of her league, no matter what her friends say, or how great a catch she is, and any man would be lucky to meet/have her. A woman will gauge a man's interest, based on her looks, weight, etc. in regards to his. Men approach women and will use insults as a defense mechanism in response to rejection. Both men and women will discourage each other if they feel someone may be too far out of their friend's league. That thought alone prevents people from meeting someone they just might have a great relationship or friendship with.

     Failure exists because people lose their focus; they find themselves getting caught up binge-watching their favorite TV show. Taking on too much at one time and not setting shorter-term goals. Not setting priorities. Low motivation/weak motivators. Wanting to lose weight and get into shape may be enough to get you through the front door and sign up for that gym membership. But it'll take more to get up at 5 am every morning and give 100% every time—frustration and impatience, setting unrealistic goals and expectations. As we step back into the gym/weight room, we want the results we want when WE want them—negativity and giving up at the first sign of hardship or obstacles. Writers don't give up their book the first time they have a case of writer's block. Otherwise, a lot of books wouldn't have been written.

     Shitty planning. Having an idea but not acting on it is the same as not having an idea at all and being too lazy to act on it. Making excuses; not trying means not failing. People fail because they see their failure prematurely—lack of commitment.

     Fear of failure is only one side of the coin for obvious reasons; fear of success is the other. We are not able to live up to future expectations. Public speaking. Rejection. Making the wrong choice, second-guessing, will turn a simple obstacle into a brick wall and definitely hinder a person's progress to success. The opinion of others shouldn't matter, but we will allow ourselves to be sidetracked or led off our intended path, especially by those who are either jealous or unsupportive of what you're trying to accomplish. Fear of responsibility. Saying or doing the wrong thing. Fear of challenges. We are missing out on something and being replaced. Death. Fear of being exposed as a fake. Let's not forget; fear of commitment.

     Whatever your fear may be, understand failure is a part of life, a stepping-stone to success if everything comes without failure, the appreciation of making it won't be anywhere near as enjoyable. A huge part of success is looking back at everything and everyone who doubted you stood in your way or criticized you. Find your motivation, whether it be in love, career, independence, physical, or emotional progression. Write that book. Lose weight. Start that business. Leave that abusive or toxic relationship. Approach that man. Ask that lady out. Knock out that Do-it-yourself project. Face your fear and correct your mistakes. Accept your failure and re-adjust. Ask for help. Kickass at work and home. Be the avalanche that wipes out anything that makes you feel unworthy of success.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 30, 2020


     They go by many names. Hoe. Whore. Slut. Tramp. Skank. Pick your poison. The workplace player does have a female counterpart; for the purpose of this article, we won't use any of the names mentioned above. We'll call her G.A or, "The Get-around girl."

     First of all, the margin for truth being considered, the GA wants a relationship, no matter what she says. She'll use her ass to land a man she wants. She may act like she's just out to fuck the men she works with, but understand that even if that were the case, a woman has to actually be attracted to something about a man, even if she's just interested in him sexually. She has to see him as a potential partner before she fucks him. Men decide they want a relationship AFTER having sex; Women decide a man's potential BEFORE she gives it up. Men can get hard and fuck anything that looks at him sideways, even she looks like a scorpion and built like a rhino.

     It does happen, but most women don't fuck to get ahead in their careers. To jump-start it, maybe, but not to progress or advance; not usually. The G.A has more than 1 child by multiple men. Her first targets are the men with the most potential; seeing as most of them won't give her the time of day, due to her reputation, she'll pick the best option she can. The G.A will brag about what men do for her. (Give her money, pay her bills, take care of her needs, etc.) The G.A will brag about how good her men give her the dick. Whether other women want to hear about it or not, she'll share details about what goes on in their bed. She doesn't care what other women think; they're just jealous they can't do what she's doing, or they're not strong enough of a woman to be who they want to be.

     Let her tell it, no man can put the dick on her. A G.A wants a man she can control, even though she won't respect him if he lets her. She'll act like she's in charge, but she really wants a strong, Alpha man to calm her ass down when she gets out of pocket. She'll act like she's the shit to beat all, but she has shitty self-esteem, and she believes she has to have sex to get men to like her. Some women won't know they're being played, not because they're naive' but because they think they're too smart, and also strong a woman to get played. The G.A won't go after a work pimp; she knows he's out of her league, and he wants no part of her reputation. She drinks almost every weekend. Just to get drunk and/or smokes pot.

     The G.A will brag about her weekend when no one even asked or cares. Where women will warn other women about a player, a woman won't warn a man about a woman being a G.A. Get more than one G.A in close proximity in the office, and they'll shit-talk each other for a guy they both want. Their advances will be clear as fucking day, and they have no issues with how they look to others. She won't care if he has a lady; she'll want to break them up then leave him when she's done with him. (After, she's gotten all she can get from him). She'll have limited social ability. Other women will see her as ghetto as hell, but she doesn't care; in her mind, everyone at her job's jealous of her because she has all these men after her. She wants to be the Beta of the pack, and only other G.A's will want to be around her. Other women want nothing to do with her because they don't want to viewed as being like her in the eyes of her co-workers.

     The Get Around Girl is the pinnacle of street smarts. It's NEVER her fault when she gets kicked to the curb by the working player; She'll tell everyone SHE dumped HIM when she realizes she's been played herself. (He had a little dick, gay, racist, couldn't fuck, he's scared of a strong, woman, he wasn't shit anyway.) She'll talk shit about any man that doesn't want her, and she'll brag about all the men she's playing. She doesn't want to know about or hear about anyone who has an actual good relationship; she'll try to convince them they're being played, and they need to be more like her. She's miserable and wants as many people to join her mob of misery as she can find.

     The G.A doesn't work out; she doesn't have to. As long as men are willing to fuck her just the way she is, she thinks she's the shit, and she'll wear shit she has absolutely NO BUSINESS wearing. Work out on the town or to the grocery store. Her shit is way too tight and revealing, and while most men are looking at her, asking, "What the fuck?" Many men are looking at her and thinking, "I'd fuck her," Just because her ass is up in the air or her tits are halfway out. The definition of a whore is someone who receives money or any type of compensation in exchange for sex. If you're fucking guys at your job and they're paying your bills, giving you money, or other providing some form of compensation because you're fucking him, I'm not calling you a whore, but if it walks, talks, and looks like a duck, then it's a duck—a duck who's getting paid to fuck.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 22, 2020


     There's an unseen war going on between men and women for the controlling share in their relationship, whether they realize it or not. Men want to be the head of the household, and women want to avoid being the submissive partner. Men don't want to see an as soft or unable to manage their home and, women don't want the stigma of being weak or docile. Equality may be the goal, but realistically, that dream comes to be nothing more than just an idea in these modern times.

     For one, seeking, "Control" is wrong; that's your 1st mistake. The 2nd is being dismissive or defensive when your partner brings your unnecessary siege for control of a situation to your attention. With equality being the ultimate goal, there can and will be times where one person will and should step aside and allow the other to take a more dominant role in a situation. They may have knowledge, training, or experience that applies to what's going on and are more physically or mentally equipped to make a more informed decision or take better action or precautions. There will be times where communication before reacting is available and times, where that process will have to wait until the situation or crisis is over.

     For example, if your wife is a CPA and part of her job is doing corporate taxes for large companies, why wouldn't you step aside and allow her to do the family taxes? That makes you smart, not weak. If your husband's a mechanic, why wouldn't you step aside and allow him to decide which used cars are going to be better suited for the family in terms of parts, maintenance, dependability, etc.? That makes YOU smart, not docile or meek. In an emergency, if someone breaks into your home and your wife's a police officer, she doesn't have time to explain her instructions to you. Just fucking follow them, same as if your husband was a firefighter, and you wake up in the middle of the night to smoke and flames coming from the room next door.

     Sometimes the battle for control won't have anything to do with a mutual situation; it'll come in the form of, "You did it, so I should be able to do it also" One person spent $200 on a pair of name brand sneakers or a purse they may have wanted for a while. The other person will see this as a bid for power, and they'll try to equalize the scales by going out and spending the same amount, or just a little bit more on something they may not even have thought about purchasing, only to, "Be fair." That shit is childish, especially if you knew those shoes or that purse was something they've been wanting or saving for.

     The fight to be right is a fierce one; people fight for control by trying to prove the other person wrong. If successful, they're convinced you're the one with the issue, and they need to take over and save the day. That way, they can continue their quest for control and make it seem as if they have what's best for the relationship at heart.

     During a discussion, one person's so focused on what they want to say. Next, they're not even listening to what you're saying. Men have been taught and raised to ignore or dismiss their dependency. Or a need for emotional support and to be the source of comfort in a relationship. They're the rock, the foundation of the relationship, and stepping aside or admitting they don't know something or their partner may be better equipped to handle a "Manly" situation will screw his head on backward, and he wants no part of that. A woman will ask logical/rhetorical questions or make statements in an attempt to make such a convincing argument that has no actual flaw; she'll hope he sees the logic in her theory and backs down.

     Interrogation. In the quest for power, one person will make accusations or demand answers, putting to another person in a position to have to account for, explain, or defend themselves. "Why are you late?" "Why didn't you call?" "Who were you with?" Think of it as a court of law, and the witness is being questioned by the prosecutor.

     They are avoiding criticism. Unnecessary criticizing and complaining about some bullshit is another way people try to take control of their relationship. Your partner doesn't want to hear your mouth over something stupid, so they'll keep theirs shut and allow you just to talk and talk and talk. A woman may see an interracial couple and will criticize that relationship out loud to her partner. He doesn't want to hear it, but won't say anything to her about it or ask her to keep her voice down, because she'll start in on him. A man may have an issue with a homosexual couple, but she won't ask him to stop talking about it, because he'll turn it around to her and expect her to agree with him. When she expresses any opinion other than his, he'll take it as her being argumentative or dismissive.

     Body Language. Laughing at your partner when they're trying to talk about something serious. Eye-rolling, crossed arms, the silent treatment.

     The denial of affection, intimacy, or sex. 

     Conditional situations. Someone trying to control their relationship will require, "Proof" of their partner's love or commitment. They'll ask for changes in the partner. To take on more of his/her interests or hobbies instead of pursuing or continuing their own, and wanting a 24/7 cheerleader without returning the sentiment.

     Power. Physical or verbal abuse. Threats of violence or the end of the relationship.

     The battle for control and power can and will get nasty, even if you believe you're doing it for the right reason. Trust me, while you're fighting for control, you're driving a wedge between you both, and the result won't be pretty if you feel as if you need to be in control. You're either so self-centered that you can't admit you're wrong, so independent you don't need anyone, or you're so scared you're going to be taken advantage of. Your self-preservation won't allow you to be successful in any relationship. Either way, you have no business trying to be with anyone. Learn to control your shit; that way, you won't have to control someone else.

     While you may be more qualified to take the dominant role in a particular situation, that doesn't translate to ignoring your partner's thoughts or input. Communication is vital; reassure them their voice and opinions are essential. Let them know they'll be consulted before any final decisions will be made. You don't know everything; you're going to be wrong sometime. A relationship is a partnership; someone's watching your back, and you're watching theirs. You can't watch your own. Go ahead, try it; it's called running your dumb ass around in circles.  


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 08, 2020


     They have children from a previous relationship. They want nothing more than to have children with you; however, they want absolutely NOTHING to do with YOUR children from any of your past relationships. Does this sound as fucked up to you as it does to me? Of course, it does, because it's a fucked up thing to think, but it's true. There are people out there who have their children but want to meet someone who doesn't have children, or at least children they have to, "Deal" with. If those kids are older and out of the house, or at least old enough to have their own lives and not need much parental attention, it might not matter as much. Smaller children are a different story, though.

     As ridiculous and hypocritical as it sounds, this situation is all too common in today's society. With entitlement becoming more and more apparent among the younger generations, stupid shit like this is just going to increase, and we're so fucking dumb and scared to be alone. We'll put up with or bend to the wishes of the dominant personality of the relationship, just to have someone in our lives. Any man or woman who's willing to walk away from their children to be in a relationship deserves EVERY drop of the shit-soaked rainstorm that's going to fall on their heads during the rest of their lives!

     For different reasons, men and women don't want the headache of taking on someone else's children. Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama they think another woman will bring to her present relationship. Of course, that'll be what most women will say, and it may be accurate, but only about 50% of the time. The other half is far simpler unrealistic selfishness. Some just don't deal with complications or jealousy of another person who'll always be in the picture because they share children. They don't like the idea that you have something related to or obligates a portion of time to someone else. They know your ex will be contacting you in the event of an emergency with the children, and you'll fly out the door to the hospital, school, or wherever. They know you'll be communicating about the children, even spending time around each other on certain holidays, such as birthdays and such. That's too much for them to want to deal with. They don't want you to have ties to anyone else, even though they share the same ties to another person with their kids.

     Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama another woman might bring to her relationship. Calling and arguing with her or her ex. The ex is talking shit about her to the kids. They are telling them they don't have to respect her or listen to her. The bad behavior or them being spoiled. The money her man has to take from their family to give to someone else. The children he shares with someone else may be of a race or ethnicity they're not very fond of.

     If a man wants to see and take care of his children the way he's supposed to, another man won't normally stand in his way, as long as he's respectful to everyone involved. That means he calls before he comes over to get the kids, instead of just showing up whenever he wants. That means respecting their home and not calling to talk shit that new man or coming over just to argue. That new man may have something to say if the ex is flakey and inconsistent when it comes to following through with his promises, which will fuck up those kid's heads. A good, decent man won't allow that to happen for too long; he won't want to deny those children access to their father, but he'll be damned if that other man continuously disappoints those kids.

     Believe it or not, when it comes to men, he doesn't have much of an issue with the kids; men will avoid a woman with children because she allowed another man to "Claim" her by getting her pregnant in the first place. There's something about going in unprotected, and being allowed to release himself inside of her. That will set his alarm off and not want to be with her. Even though neither of them is virgins, the fact that she was so connected to another man that she let him fo that is enough to make him see her in a different light, as if she's used or damaged goods. Men will get bent out of shape if they see an attractive but pregnant woman. As stupid as this sounds, you wouldn't believe how many men feel that way, whether they'll admit it or not. A woman will avoid a man who's about to be a father, even if he isn't with the mother anymore.

     They don't want your children because they don't want to have to deal with being around someone else, even if the other parent is 100% drama free. That would be even worse; they'll rack their brain, trying to figure out the REAL reason their partner and the ex broke up since they get along so well as strictly parents. They don't want you to have children because they don't want your kids around their kids or the kids you share. They're outcasts who have no place in your present family; they're a distraction, an inconvenience. Some people will ask and expect another person to give up their attachment to their children by someone else to be in a relationship with them, and some people will comply with this request. They're so desperate to have someone in their lives they'll jump and purge anything necessary to secure a relationship for themselves. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 01, 2020


     Women are more guilty of asking other women inappropriate questions when it comes to their friends and their relationships, especially new ones. To women, they have an understood and unspoken right to compliment her friend's partner and her relationship more than once and in detail. Men can only give ONE general compliment to another man about his lady; he can't go into detail or give multiple compliments about her before that other man starts to take it as disrespect and interest in his lady. Of course, that won't stop him from making comments and compliments to other men, though.

     Women will use their friendship as a cloak of trust and good-natured conversation, a shield of protection against her friend, taking her comments the wrong way. It'll rarely occur to the other person exactly how fucked up it is for her to say anything out of pocket about her friend's man. She's trying to get way too personal about the information that's realistically none of her fucking business. They'll act like they're joking, looking out for you, or making conversation, trying to find out, "Normal" things about him. She'll act like she's trying to make sure you chose the right guy, but based on what SHE thinks is good for you, your interest has very little to do with the questions she's asking.

     What you don't realize is that your friend could be gathering information about your man to gauge her interest, compatibility, and attraction to him. She could be plotting to go behind your back and use everything you told her against you and appear to be a better choice for him, based on all the information YOU gave her! By answering her questions, you're telling her absolutely everything she needs to know in order to decide whether or not she wants to make a move on him. They'll count on your friendship to distract you from what they're doing. They know you're excited about your new romance, they'll hope you'll not only turn a blind eye to how fucked up and shitty her questions are but to answer them in detail and with enthusiasm.

     Men know better; they may be clueless about a lot of other shit, but not this. They understand without a doubt there's a definitive line in knowing what they can and can't say to another man about his lady, no matter how close they are or how long they've been friends. Men know men. Any detailed compliment about the figure of his friend's lady won't be appreciated. Asking a man over and over again if he's still with his woman, or calling her, "Beautiful" "Sexy" or, "Fine" won't be received well at all. Any inquiries about any portion of their sex life or her sexual ability will almost always cause a rift or even get his ass kicked. Women don't follow those same guidelines; they feel their bonds are stronger, giving them far more rope to tie your hands while they walk right past you and snake your guy.

     Even if stealing your man away isn't her plan, there's still the topic of pointless, rude, and inappropriate questions and comments women will make and ask of their friends when it comes to their relationships that men won't. They know it's none of their business. They know that another guy has very little issue telling him it's none of his fucking business or asking why the fuck does he needs to know that, especially anything personal about his lady. Again, women feel they have a stronger, more solidified bond to where they can do that shit; men have no issues ending a friendship over the woman he truly loves, whereas women will honor the friendship more and allow them behind-the-scenes access into their personal shit.

     Your friends will ask if you had sex on your first date; and every date until you say, "Yes." They'll how it was, how freaky you got, and if he has a big dick. If it's your first interracial relationship, they'll ask if the rumors about black men having bigger dick are true. If you haven't, they'll ask what or how long you're going to wait until you have sex. They'll try to show concern for you by asking if you're sure just sex isn't what he wanted in the first place.

     She'll ask about his job; if he's military, she'll ask his rank, if he's an officer or enlisted and how long he's been in. With those three pieces of information, she can find out exactly how much he makes. She'll ask how much he makes. She'll ask what he drives if he pays for your dates and where he takes you. She wants to know how much he spends on you. She'll ask where he lives, where he hangs out, where he works out, even where he shops. She basically wants to know where she can possibly run into him without you being around. That's DEFINITELY a red flag.

     They want to see multiple pictures of him (Without you, of course), and if he doesn't mind that you don't work out as much as he does. Personality and qualities; sometimes they'll insult him and ask you what you like best about him, or they'll insult you by asking what he likes best about you. "What did you do to land him?" That's such a fucking insult to you, it's ridiculous; basically, they're saying something about you is fucked up, so how did you get him to look past it and date you anyway? They'll ask about his flaws if you talk about how much you like him too much. They'll ask if he has kids, or how your kids feel about you dating, or even dating HIM specifically. What the two of you did over the weekend or the holiday is none of their business; they're asking what was so important, they had to give up THEIR time with you so you could be with HIM.

     Especially in the beginning stages of a new relationship, we're excited to share as much as we can with our friends. We're happy as hell to start the adventure all over again, hoping this time will be the last time, and we get caught up in the whirlwind of bragging about how great they are. Be careful; not everyone will share your joy and enthusiasm. Jealousy, loneliness, anger, and frustration over their own miserable relationships or lack of one will breed just as much negativity and positivity. Be careful with what you share. You'll end up fucking yourself over or losing your good man because you violated his trust or sent a better candidate right to his front door.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Feb 23, 2020


     We are who we are; people can accept us the way we are, or they can go fuck themselves. The truth is, no one can tell anyone how they should feel, but there's more truth that comes along with the, "Like me or not" mentality; the other side of the coin. What one person may see as their right, that also goes for the other millions, or billions of people in the world as well. Think of it as a room full of people who all believe they have a right to be heard; they have the right to be first; they have the right for first rights. Where things take a turn for the worst is when that feeling of entitlement is met with unexpected resistance. No one wants to be challenged or rejected. We're all different creatures, just trying to get along in this world, but there are those who have simple quirks and behaviors that make it a little harder to do just that. Whether justified or not, we're on this earth together; that being said;

     Don't get pissy if you want someone you think is hot, and they don't want you. Don't run back like a little powdered bitch and tell her girlfriends she turned you down. Whether you realize it or not, you're a grown-ass man who just went and tattled on a woman because she didn't want you. Hell, can you blame her, you fucking tattle tale; what are you, 3 years old? Don't cut me off while driving or do something else fucked up, then wave at me and smile? I'd rather think you were just an asshole who didn't give a fuck about anyone but yourself rather than you think I was dumb enough to think you turned in front of me by fucking mistake. Don't act like you don't hear your kid crying in the movie theater or acting like an asshole in the restaurant. Why the fuck would you bring a baby or small child to a horror movie? Why would you bring a kid to a movie they don't understand or have an interest in and expect them to sit for 2 hours. Take them outside, get a sitter, or keep your inconsiderate ass at home or quit having fucking kids!

     Don't be a dick when someone tells you they don't want to be on social media and not to take their picture. Not everyone wants to be in your fucking panoramic video. If you want to take pictures and videos of you and your friends, that's cool, but be fucking courteous to everyone else, especially with that bright ass fucking camera light. Don't be a dick and park in the red zone in front of a business, you're just a dick if you do. Especially if there's a spot 20 feet away, you fat, lazy fuck. Don't wonder why you and your fat fucking family look the way they do, based on the bullshit you have in your shopping cart. Don't label a player or a whore, based on their friends. Don't get mad when someone offers you a breath mint; there's a fucking reason for that. If you park like shit, don't get mad when your shit gets dented or scratched; learn to fucking park your shit. Some people don't like being touched, so don't get pissed if someone asks you not to touch them. If you're bouncing around to your own beat, don't get mad if your partner walks off the dance floor.

     Don't get mad if you get punched in the kidney for trying to tickle someone, especially AFTER they've told you they didn't like it and don't get pissed if you get throat punched for trying to jump out and scare someone. You don't know someone's history; where they've been, or gone through, so don't mad if you walk up behind someone, touch them, and they fuck you up. that's YOUR fault! Of all the empty space in the gym, and you want to work out DIRECTLY behind me, don't get mad when I bend over and rip a huge fucking fart. There's no reason for you to be THAT close to me. If I'm at the ATM and you're too close, I will ask you to back the fuck up. Don't get mad when I step in front of you at the checkout line because you're on your phone with Amy, talking about that cute guy you met last night. If you're sitting on the piece of gym equipment I need to continue my workout, I will ask you to get up!

     It's MY parking spot until I pull out; don't fucking honk at me to hurry up because you want my space. I WILL turn my shit off, lock my doors, and find a reason to walk right the fuck back into wherever I just came from. I will call you out for not washing your hands before leaving the restroom or not covering your mouth when you fucking cough. Don't talk to me in the locker room when you're naked and don't talk across me to someone on the other side of when you're naked. Don't get mad when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. If you don't want the truth, don't ask me. Don't be mad because you have a little dick, and nobody wants to fuck you. Don't get mad if someone says you're better off learning to be a master of eating pussy instead. Don't get mad when you can't/don't make your lady cum/orgasm every time.

     Your man doesn't want to hear you bitch about how you hate seeing interracial couples, that woman at work who wants to, "Destroy" you, or how much you dislike your body or your weight; don't get pissed off when he finally tells you to shut the fuck up with all that negative shit. Not everyone wants to hear what you did over the weekend, EVERY weekend, so don't get pissed when someone at your job tells you so. Don't get mad when/if someone at the club steps on or scuffs your WHITE sneakers; your shoes are fucking WHITE, what the fuck do you expect in a club? Don't get mad when someone jumps in front of you to order from the same fast-food menu that been posted for the last 20-plus years, and you're staring at it like it's brand fucking new, trying to decide what you want. If you're a man, and you get caught cheating, just expect your ex to tell at least 3 people you have a weak dick and can't fuck. If you're a woman and YOU cheat, don't be surprised if your ex tries to fuck one of your friends out of spite.

     More truth? It's going to happen, whether you like it or not; everyone's not going to agree with you or the way you see or do things. Not everyone's going to go along with your ideas or follow you blindly into the unknown. You're going to annoy the fuck out of people, and people are going to do the same to you. There are people out there who will call you out on your bullshit as well. How you deal with this is another one of your rights. You can choose to be an adult, or you can choose to turn bitch and cry like a baby. You can choose to agree or disagree with someone. You can choose to just let it go or get pissy.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Feb 16, 2020


     You know you fucked up; they know you fucked up. In the event that you fucked up and for some reason they take you back, just admit you fucked up. Everyone else knows you fucked up, so why go back into the same rut, denying you fucked up after you've already suffered for it? The only person you're fooling is yourself, thinking anyone's going to believe you didn't fuck up. You've already paid the price for fucking up; you got dumped, they moved on for a while; dated, had at least one other relationship, maybe even had sex with someone else. You've put the time, effort, and patience into reconciliation and redemption. You've busted your ass showing you can be trusted and, you've earned yourself another chance to prove yourself, so why go right back to claiming innocence? The only thing you're really doing is sabotaging yourself, making it seem like you haven't changed a bit; in doing so, you're sending the message you're still the lying, manipulative assbag who got caught doing dirty shit and the coward who couldn't be adult enough to admit it, even when confronted with the truth.

     Admitting you fucked up shows you just may have learned your lesson and changed your ways for the better. You're showing the possibility that you grew the fuck up and realized the bullshit you were trying to pull back in the day was straight garbage, and it made you look like such a fucking loser. It was only a matter of time before your shit caught up with you. Denial after the fact makes you appear as if haven't changed and, you're still on the path of the same shit you were on when you were fucking up.

     Having any discussion about whatever happened in the past is a bad idea, whether the memory is good or bad. Good memories will remind them of how much they put into the relationship, and they got fucked over. In your mind, you're thinking that telling them of the good times you had together may help your case, but the belief things will ever go back to the way they were is a delusion. Leave the past in the past and focus on the future; the second chance you have now. Again, talking about it is just going to remind them of how you fucked up and possibly change their mind about your second chance.

     Denial of your actions is just a dumb fucking thing to do, especially when you're staring down the business end of a double-barreled shotgun loaded with evidence against you. That you are hardened in concrete or purely circumstantial, there's no reason to dispute the text messages, voicemails, social media info, or the side piece. It makes you look even worse when you walk back into the relationship, immediately trying to explain yourself or claiming your innocence after you've fought your way out of the hole you dug for yourself. Bringing it up re-opens the wound, making the healing process the second time around much more painful and time-consuming.

     Bringing old shit up is no different than you trying to find out what they did during the time you weren't together. That's none of your business. What they did, If they went out with anyone else, slept with anyone else. What will you do if they did? What will you say if you found out they went wild and fucked 3-4 people during the six months you weren't together? You fucked 10-12 different people for the whole year. The two of you WERE together! Don't ask why they decided to give you another chance; that doesn't matter either. Someone gives you 5,000 dollars Scott-free, are you going to ask why they're doing it, or are you just going to take the money? Sometimes not knowing is best.

     You fucked up, cop to it. Better yet, don't even bring that shit up if they don't. If it's not essential to them, it shouldn't be relevant to you; your explanation and apology are for you, not them. They don't care why you did it; they're over it, and you should be too. Your focus should be on showing you're not the lying, cheating piece of shit they walked away from.   


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Feb 09, 2020


     Being able to talk dirty and not sound like a fucking weirdo, player, or deviant is something a lot of people are unable to do. Trying to turn your partner on vocally is not so different than trying to do the same physically. Planning, confidence, and primal instinct are still key factors when trying to create an image where the goal is to sexually excite your partner verbally. It's far more in-depth than just throwing out words like Dick, Pussy, and Fuck; you'll have to do a hell of a lot more and better than that. You'll sound like an insane circus freak, instead of turning on your partner or getting them in the mood.

     First off, have a goal; what's the endgame? Sex? Playful flirting? Knowing she's at work with her legs crossed, trying to keep her soaking wet panties from running down her legs into her shoes? Knowing he's in his office, hard as a rock? The anticipation of biting down on his briefcase handle, taking the dick from behind? Are you hoping he'll pick you up, set you on the kitchen counter and shove his face between your legs? What's the final result? The point of this entire venture?

     Second, planning. Are you going for what's typical for you and your partner, or are you aiming to step it up a notch and create a scenario you may have seen in porn or something you've wanted to try? Are you trying to test the waters to see how they'll react to the idea of role-playing, or experimenting with different places, situations, or positions? Or are you going straight for the fences? You want the joy and thrill of the fantasy; the things you'd NEVER actually try, but they sound good? The thought, the idea, the detailed account of a threesome while having sex with your partner drives you both fucking nuts, even though you know it'll never happen. A sex club or outside voyeur experience? The thought of someone walking by and catching you getting it on outside the car in a dark parking lot? The swinger lifestyle? Whatever the topic, just talking about it gets you in the mood.

     Execution is third. Some of that shit you're talking you're going to have to deliver on and follow through with. Otherwise, the dirty talk will probably and most likely lose. Its appeal fizzles out after a while and becomes stale as hell. It'll become just talk.

     On the other hand, don't dwell on the dirty talk for every encounter. You'll make it seem like the only way you can get off is if you're talking about being with your partner and someone else, or if you're constantly talking about fucking in front of strangers or partner-swapping. It's not an every time thing; otherwise, you're going to eventually fuck up your partners' head about whether or not it's just talking for you, or if you want to do the things you've both agreed were off-limits. They'll start to think you're bored with your sex life. Listen to each other; respond to one another. Don't be ashamed to tell your man you want to sit on his dick like a frog on a lily pad. Don't feel like you're less than a man to tell your women you want to eat her pussy until she goes blind. The point is sexual arousal. So, arouse each other!

     Don't think you're going to use anatomically correct or scientific terms when talking dirty. The penis isn't sexy. The vagina isn't either. Intercourse isn't going to get her wet, and labia isn't going to make him want to pick up your legs from behind and fuck you wheelbarrow style. If you're having issues, either stand in front of the mirror, write it down, or even send your dirty message via text. You can't sound timid or unsure of yourself when talking dirty, or else you're going to come off fetal as hell, and it's going to destroy the whole point. Don't sound like you're asking for permission; own that shit, or at least pretend that you do.

     You are turning your partner on verbally and satisfies an emotional need for you both. It let the other person know you still see them as a sexual being; that they're not just the father or mother of your children. It reassures the other you're more than just, "Roommates" who share the same bed. Talking dirty is more than just spouting out slang terms for body parts or activities; it's a way to express your attraction and desire for another person. It's not meant to be funny to make someone feel less than before you started. It's about making each other comfortable and reassuring them you find them sexually, sensually, and intimately pleasing to be with. It makes a woman feel like a woman who still has her sex appeal. It makes a man feel like he's still a man who can satisfy his woman.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Feb 02, 2020


     You don't NEED a man; you WANT a man. Stop saying that shit! Yeah, you're super independent and pay for all your own shit, so ante up when the check comes to the table. If he pays for the movie, step the hell up and pay for the popcorn, drink, or whatever you or he may want.

     You don't NEED a man, you WANT one is down and dirty for, you have one foot out the door, and if he pisses you off, you're out the fucking door. You're telling him you could give a fuck if he stays or goes; your relationship has a limited value to her. You're telling him if you don't get your way or if he leaves the toilet seat up, you're gone. If he doesn't close the potato chip bag tight enough and they go stale, you're out. He's living in a right to work state relationship where he could get fired and sent on his way for any reason whatsoever. Why the fuck would you think a good, decent man would want to be with a woman who feels like that, much less say that stupid shit to him?

     You don't care what he has to say or feels about this subject; this is YOUR choice, and he can roll with it, or you'll roll right past him to the next person. The ONLY men who'll be okay with your way of thinking is a weak man who's options are severely limited, and he's just happy someone wants him, even if temporary; OR a man who only wants to fuck you and your personal shit doesn't concern him anyway. As long as he's getting some ass, you can keep your NEED/WANT mantra to yourself.

     Being comfortable by yourself instead of settling for the wrong person is admirable, especially in this modern time, where everyone seems to want to be with someone, even if they're no good for you. A good man wants to be needed; that not only reassures his masculinity and instincts to protect and provide. Telling him, you don't need him will also fuck up your sex life too. Why would you say to a man you don't need him, but you expect him to stay faithful to a relationship you've already put a sell-by date on? Why would it bother you to find out he met someone while the two of you were still together? Are you mad you pissed off because HE dumped YOU first?

     You tell him you don't NEED a man, but WANT one because you've been fucked over so much in the past, your walls are high as fuck, and you're looking for a man to prove himself worthy. Still, you don't realize your statement will keep a man from even trying to show you he's different because you've already told him he's not good enough. The problem is, you don't understand you're fucking yourself over when you're telling him you don't need him, instead of telling him you need time to trust and believe in him before you can give yourself.

     Stop telling him you can get off without him. If you have a battery-operated boyfriend or other types of sexual devices, don't keep that shit in the nightstand next to the bed. If he can't make you orgasm, don't fucking finish getting off while lying next to him; don't reach down and rub yourself off while he's still inside of you, that's so fucked up! Stop telling men you don't need them because you want to hold on to your independence. When you say that shit, you're telling him, he'll never have all of you, not your head, your heart, body, mind, NOTHING! You're telling him eventually you'll reach a point where you'll either go stagnant or go your separate ways. A decent man won't agree to this, so right then and there, or down the road, the relationship will end.

     Stop telling him you'll be fine without him. If he's a good man, why the hell would you tell him that? You're so worried about losing yourself, your independence, and your identity, you'll keep him at bay for self-preservation. He wants nothing but the best for you and the relationship. But you're clouded by what's happened to you in the past. Of course, we all bring emotional baggage with us. Still, to pre-sabotage your present relationship with a bullshit statement like you don't NEED him will challenge him masculinity and damage his idea of his self-worth in your eyes. Sooner or later, he WILL find someone who'll appreciate him for the man he is; then, you're assed out, wondering what you did to deserve being fucked over again and again. The answer? You keep fucking telling men you don't NEED them!

     You're telling him he'll never be worthy of you. No matter what he does or how good he is to you, it'll never be enough to deserve you truly. We realize everything we want isn't the best choice for us. Telling him, you don't need a man, but want one says she already has made up her mind; she's not going to get serious about you past a certain point. You may not be the best choice for her, and she's keeping her options open or preparing her exit in case something better comes along, or she gets to where she cares so much about you, she doesn't want to be without you; then she'll run. She doesn't want you to have that much influence or what she sees as power over her.

     So, hold on to your independence, your resolve. When you're sick, depressed, hurting physically, mentally, or emotionally, remember your statement. When you NEED that shoulder to cry on or that person who'll be there for you when you NEED to get something off your chest. When you're trying your best, and you NEED that extra push to reach your goals and no one's there because you don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. Your friends will be there, but there's something different; something more gratifying when you have that special someone to share your victories with. From the moment you make that statement, you begin pushing him away; you're setting yourself up for a short-term relationship. You're telling him eventually you'll get tired of being with him and you'll leave. He'll never see or get the best of you. You don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. You just missed out on a GOOD man.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jan 26, 2020


     Do girls mature faster than boys? Society tends to think so, but it depends on who you ask. I don't believe they do. Boys want to remain boys for as long as they can, but with adult components attached to them. Girls just want to act fucking grown, and that's the farthest thing from maturity I can think of.

     If boys could legally drink, drive, get into bars, and fuck 21-year-old women, they'd stay 16 years old for at least 5-6 years. Girls are in such a hurry to act and be treated like she's 21 and would stay there for the rest of their lives.

     Girls don't mature faster; they just want to act fucking grown, especially if they have older sisters. They want to circumvent the developmental milestones their siblings had to wait for and do what they're doing now; they don't want to wait. In their minds, their parents are too old school, and they don't understand what it's like now; things are different from when her parents were her age. All the other girls are wearing makeup, dressing far older than they should, staying out late, dating earlier, etc. That's the main reason girls run out and get something pierced or tattooed on their 18th birthday. It's a declaration of independence, a statement to her parents, telling them she's grown and doesn't need their permission for a damn thing anymore.

     Younger girls are in a hurry to date, get a boyfriend, and dress more grown and revealing, not because they mature faster, but to be seen and taken by society as a woman. She'll want to set her boundaries and flex her independence, but still, be able to call on mom and dad to bail her out of trouble if she gets into some real shit. She wants to be grown when things are going her way, but want to jump back to being, "Daddy's little princess" When she needs rescuing. When it comes to men, girls will lie about their age to get an older guy who drinks, drives, has his own place, or whatever else it is he does or has to make her feel and appear older in the eyes of his peers. She puts that older guy on the chopping block with her father and the law, just to act fucking grown, believing the "Boys" her age are too immature.

     Girls don't mature faster than boys; they're put into positions to grow up faster under certain circumstances. Their mothers put far too much responsibility on these girls and rob them of their personal lives by looking to them to help raise their younger brothers and sisters. 13 or 14-year-old girl is making bottles, changing diapers, even being more of the disciplinarian than their own mothers. As they get older, they're denied their own lives by being kept at home to babysit while mom works or makes some attempt to reclaim what she missed out on by having children so early in life. Not only does this make girls try harder to act grown, but it also makes them resent their siblings and their parents. It also puts her in the situation when she does get to go out. She'll act wild as hell.

     Boys don't try to act grown; They're okay with living at home. They have someone to cook their meals, do their laundry, and solve their problems. He'll grow up in his own time, organically and naturally. Girls will try to assert what they feel is maturity by stepping out of bounds with grown-ass behavior, thinking they're on the same level as the older women around her, no matter what their age difference is. She'll believe she's mature enough to interrupt and participate in adult conversations. She steps out of place and insert herself into a group of women twice her age and assume or act as if they're all on the same level; she'll ask questions, speak as if she's had the same problems, experiences, and will even try to give input and advice on shit she has no idea about.

     Girls are in a hurry to grow up faster; they want to do the same things their older sisters are doing, without waiting until she's the same age they were allowed to. They'll compare themselves to those older siblings, even her parents. "That's not fair; mom gets to do it!" Mom's fucking grown, and she's been through it already; her own experience trumps you acting grown. The shit you're talking and trying to pull over your parent's eyes, they went through with your older sisters! They know the game! Whatever you THINK you can come up with that your parents haven't heard, think again; they've forgotten more than you know or will ever learn.

     Maturity is knowing your place and respecting the rules and boundaries set by your parents and accepting the fact that you're not as mature as you think you are. It's knowing you have to wait to date, wear makeup, stay up later, etc. Acting grown is waiting until you leave the house to hike up your skirt or dress, roll up the top of your shorts to make them shorter, and wiggle your 15-year-old butt through the halls at school or up and down the walkway at the mall. Acting grown is lying about your age to attract older men because you're convinced you're beyond the guys your own age. Maturity is knowing you're not ready; it's not your time. Acting grown is knowing the same thing, but not giving a fuck. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jan 19, 2020


     You're not ready to get married; the hand that rocks the cradle rules the home concept is bullshit. Both participants should equally run the home. If the daily effort of the house isn't a joint effort, then you're not ready to be married.

     You're essentially married at the moment you accepted their proposal. You're married by practice; the wedding is just the ceremonial and legal aspect of marriage. When you said, "Yes," You agreed to become husband and wife at right at that moment.

     You're not ready to get married because you view your bachelor or bachelorette party as a celebration of your "Last night of freedom." That bullshit is nothing more than a last-minute, "Hall pass" to do dumb shit before walking down the aisle. If you're viewing your impending marriage as giving up your freedom and that needs to be celebrated, especially with getting shit-faced drunk, paying for strippers and such, you're not ready to be married. You're not prepared to be married because you see your impending marriage as a halt to your ability to go out and have fun without your partner and, "Act single."

     You're not ready because you feel like you're giving up your personality, your identity, your individuality. You're sacrificing who you are to be someone's husband or wife. You're not ready because you still need and enjoy outside attention from the opposite sex, even though you have no interest in them; it still means a lot to you that others find you attractive and desirable. You still want to hang out with your friends until 3 am, without calling. You're still hanging out with people who are trying to get you to continue behaving as if you're still single; "You're not married yet, so live it up!" Right?

     "Happy wife, happy life??" that's such a fucking dumb thing to believe, much less let come out of your mouth. That statement invalidates your equality. That's saying YOUR happiness isn't as important to the success of your relationship as hers. Your equality in the relationship; your thought, ideas, feelings, etc. are of no importance in comparison to hers. If you can't be just a generally happy in the everyday dynamic of your relationship, you shouldn't have gotten married. The phrase SHOULD be, "Happy couple, happy life." Her job is to make you just as happy and satisfied in the relationship as you make her.

You shouldn't have gotten married because your spouse goes out shopping for a new dress or shirt and slacks, and the thought of bringing something home for you didn't even cross their minds. They didn't even call to see if you wanted them to bring you home anything to eat, EVER! You need a special day or occasion to do something special for them or each other, such as a birthday, holiday, or anniversary — the concept of, "Just because" means nothing to either of you.

     You're not ready to be married because you don't even see each other as a man and a woman in a relationship; you view each other as nothing more than the parents of your children. Your husband isn't your husband anymore, and he's the father of your children and vice versa. You have no concept that you're married to a man or a woman who still needs the attention, affection, sensuality, and intimacy a man and a woman provide for each other. You're not ready to be married because you're only asking because she's pregnant or you have kids together. You use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment to correct what's viewed as a negative behavior or to get something you want.

     You're not ready to be married because you're not getting any younger. You might as well marry them since you've been together for so long. The pressure from your family and friends are why you're asking. You're not ready to get married because you have to ask in public to ensure they'll accept your proposal; you know they won't turn you down in a restaurant full of people or in front of your family and friends. They're not ready to marry you because you have to give them an ultimatum. You're not prepared to get married because the only reason you're asking because you don't want to break up, or you know someone else has their eye on your partner.

     They're not ready because they had/have to weigh out the pros and cons of accepting your proposal. You're not ready to be married because you're still bringing up and arguing over the same bullshit from your past.

     You're not ready because when asked why you love them or want to get married, you can't think of anything off the top of your head; you stumble through your answer like a machine gun on full auto. It took you 3-5 minutes to come up with a solution; if you have to write your own vows, you're up fuck creek, without a condom.

     "Cold feet" is bullshit. You're still weighing the pros and cons of walking down the aisle. You're still wondering if you're making the right decision or if you're thinking about being with just one person for the rest of your life. He's thinking about all the pussy he's going to miss out on, especially after his bachelor party. She's thinking about the guys from her past or present that could've been good choices, if not better than who's about to marry. Cold feet means you're not ready to be married because you're thinking about other options or possibilities.

     You're not ready because you're still in the "Mine" phase in your relationship. Your partner can't communicate something as simple as feeling uncomfortable with a choice you've made — my body, my choice, my life, etc. If you're still living in the center of a "Minefield," you're not ready to be married.

You're not ready to be married because she's been told over and over again and believes the wedding is, "Her day" That's another fucked up thing to say and believe. The wedding is not just HER day; the day belongs to both of you equally. It should be seen and treated as an equally important and special day for the BOTH of you, not just for HER. Any deviation from this theory is selfish, self-centered, and shitty. It's not about her; it's about both of you.

     If you're not ready, you're not prepared. Don't accept a proposal if you're unsure. Don't put someone in a position where they MUST accept to avoid humiliating you. Recognize that you aren't ready. Communicate your feelings regularly, and you can avoid feeling like you have to get married in order to stay together. In order to see yourself being ready, you have to see yourself prepared to put in 100%. That means there's no more, "I," "Mine," or "Yours." 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jan 12, 2020


     Jealousy. It's a fork in the road that can lead down two different paths; one of motivation, the other down the path of shitty self-image and low self-esteem. The first thing we need to understand is that jealousy is an insult, whether you believe it or not. Even light-hearted jealousy is nothing more than saying what you have isn't good .enough, compared to what someone else has. If a woman's jealous of her friend's new man, she's telling her own guy he's not good enough to be in the same ring with this other guy and vice-versa. She's telling him he doesn't stack up in comparison to look to, money, style, physique, etc. A man who's jealous of his friend's new lady is telling his woman the same thing; she's inferior in weight, class, figure, poise, beauty, etc. Jealousy in someone else's relationship in saying your own relationship fails to meet the standards of someone else's. Jealousy will raise or cause you to realize what you have is sub-par and needs adjustment. Jealousy of someone else's relationship says you could've done better, but you settled for them.

     Jealousy over someone else's car says your car is substandard, compared to theirs; the same goes for anything else you find yourself jealous of. Jealousy over another person's sex life is saying your sex life is mediocre at best when compared to another couple,s and you could do much better, but you don't want to put the time or effort into finding it. Jealousy over strangers is even worse; these are people you don't even fucking know. You're jealous of how another woman's man looks at the club, you're telling your man he ain't shit, compared to that other guy. You're jealous of how another woman looks at the gym in her yoga/stretch pants? You're telling your lady she's built like a plastic bag of jagged rocks, compared to that other woman.

     Jealousy over another person's partner is basically an internal statement saying, "I wish I had him/her, instead of you!" Jealousy over what someone else has is saying the same; they wish they had what that other person had, instead of what they have now. Money, car, job, relationship, clothes, figure, muscles, etc. You name it; it fits under the umbrella of dissatisfaction.

     Back to the message at hand, jealousy can motivate someone to put the time, effort, and hard work into bringing themselves up to meet their own internal standard, not yours or anyone else's. It's all about them and whether or not they want to step up and take on the challenge of upgrading themselves past jealousy status. A woman will only find the motivation to upgrade herself past jealousy if SHE chooses; not to meet the standards of her man. Men will only rise to his own standard if HE chooses to. In the gym, people will see others in better shape or lifting significantly more weight than they can. Their choices are either rise to the challenge or allow themselves to feel defeat before the battle even begins.

     The other road in this fork leads down the path of shitty self-image and confidence. Who wants to be with someone who thinks they don't measure up to someone else? For some people, jealousy is a motivator to step up and upgrade themselves to the level of someone else, but not as much as those who'll allow themselves to wallow in self-doubt. Knowing your partner thinks his/her friend's partner is superior to you in some or every way can fuck up your head. It'll make you not give a fuck and stay right where you are. Or it can put that fire in your ass to take that first step. If you've chosen the fire, don't fuck up and burn yourself, trying to take on a full upgrade all at once, set short-term goals for yourself, and celebrate the small victories as you go along. If you've decided not to, communicate to your partner how fucked up their comments about how their jealousy makes you feel.

     Another type of jealousy is manufactured. An innocent comment or comparison could create a sense of jealousy where the insult of jealousy isn't from the jealous, but the other person. Comparing the GREAT cup of coffee they had somewhere else will make the jealous person wonder why he/she never has a second cup of THEIR coffee. A man will praise and congratulate his woman on losing 15 lbs., but will apeshit and straight into a celebratory mode when he sees the next-door neighbor who lost the same 15 lbs. with a resounding, "WOW! You look great!"

     The worst thing a person can do is rationalize their reaction to be of equal caliber. No, it's not; don't even try that shit. When she meets your brother for the first time, and he's 6'2, 235 lbs. of straight movie star muscle, and she can't seem to stop staring. When you bring it up to her, she responds with, "Don't be like that babe, you look good too." That's manufactured jealousy, and it's NOT just in his head. The insult isn't coming from the jealous person; it's coming from you! You're saying, "I know you did your best, but damn, that looks better."

     Believing jealousy to be a way to prove you care about someone, they'll manufacture jealousy from their partner by bragging about the attention and advances from other members of the opposite sex. You're essentially telling your partner they better step their game up because other people are waiting to replace you and if you're not careful or do what you should be doing, one of them could take them away. This tactic is popular but risky and dumb as fuck. You'll mess around and try that shit with the wrong person and quickly end up on single status; it's even worse when you lied and made that shit up, to manufacture jealousy.

     So, what's the point of jealousy? To insult someone else, to point out they're the alternate choice. They're saying you're good enough, but damn, that looks better! Manufactured jealousy is for you; to make you feel better about yourself and build your self-esteem. You're trying to make someone jealous because you can't/won't communicate your need for affirmation from your partner.

Regardless of the situation or the subject in question, jealousy is a fucking insult; there's no way around it. It's a shitty insult that you're rubbing in someone else's face or harboring within yourself. True, jealousy can be a hell of a motivator to upgrade yourself, but it can also fuck you or your partner's head up. You want what someone else has, and you're telling someone they're not good enough, but you settled for them anyway. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jan 05, 2020


     It's that time of year; where people stand in front of the mirror, take a good, hard look at themselves and evaluate their lives over the last 12 months; Their successes, failures, triumphs, and tragedies. Additionally, the time of year of self-reflection and the birthplace of plans or a whole new you in the year to come. Resolutions. The pledge to better yourself in the upcoming year in terms of life, love, profession, health, mental, and emotional well-being. Resolving to be a better person at the beginning of the new year is a right of passage for many, many people, but the truth of the matter is, if you're making New Year's resolutions, you're going to fail.

     You're going to quit smoking. You vow to give up drugs and not drink so much. You're going to end things with the person your stepping out of your relationship or marriage with. You're going to use that gym membership you've been paying for but never walked through the door since signing up three years ago. You're going to lose weight. You're going to eat healthier and give up coffee. You're going to start going back to church. Whatever your resolution is, it's going to fail, at least for about 85% of you. Why? Because you've been making the same bullshit resolutions every year for the past ten years!

     Your resolutions are going to fail because if you REALLY wanted to make these changes, you'd start IMMEDIATELY! You wouldn't wait for the new year to start; you'd start now. Resolutions are nothing more than statements of intent, but procrastinating for just a few months longer, hoping another reason for you to back outcomes along. Your resolutions are going to fail because you don't want to make the changes; your family does. You know you spend enough time with your family, your wife, or your kids, but you just HAVE to watch football all day on Sunday. You realize you smell like shit when you come back after a smoke break, and your co-workers are forced to smell that shit for the next hour or so. The same goes for pot smokers. You know you need to eat healthier and exercise because you have a history of a particular illness in your family.

     You know you're not doing the right thing. Knowing you should change. Knowing you need to. Knowing it'll be the best thing for you to do. These are NOT strong enough reasons to remain vigilant, steadfast, and dedicated to your resolutions. You have to WANT to make the change for yourself to be successful. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who share the same common goal as you so you can feed each other support and harvest motivation and drive from each other's triumphs as well as failures.

     Form a weight-loss club, a stop smoking circle with people who WANT to stop smoking so you can help each other through the cravings. Be honest with your partner and your family about how you realize you don't spend enough time with them, and it's okay for them to come to you when they're feeling neglected. Take ownership of your addictions. Whatever your undesired vice is, whatever changes you want to make, do it for the right reasons.

     Resolutions are a joke. Resolutions are for people who truly have the intention of doing better and being better, but it's just procrastination. Start making the changes now, especially when you're trying to convince yourself and others that you're serious about being better. I'm sure your friends and family are tired of hearing you swear you'll never touch drugs or alcohol again, but they know from their experiences you're lying. Resolutions are for people who make their intent to change SOUND good. Don't wait until the new year to begin; before you can convince others your change is sincere, you have to believe it first. You have to prove yourself to yourself before anyone else can or will take you seriously. 



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