Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


DEC 30, 2020


     "FREAK!" A term used to describe both men and women whose sexual preferences, activities, and appetites lie outside is considered "Normal" in today's society. From wearing sexy, revealing clothes to their expression of sensual or sexual attraction, Their behavior is criticized, scrutinized, questioned, or thought of as inappropriate, even when in the company of adults in a particular setting, such as dancing.

     We (meaning society) view this type of expression and behavior. Similarly, an elderly couple will view a nude calendar in their mechanics' office; rude, offensive, and inappropriate, but they can't look away for some reason.

     "Get a room!" seems to be one of the most popular responses when people witness what they define as freaky behavior between 2 people. She'll be viewed as a half-dressed slut who doesn't respect herself. He'll be accused of being nasty and not just disrespecting her, but all women in general. The truth is there's no such thing as a FREAK; that idea and concept only exist in the mind of the person making the statement. To the man and woman in question, it's just normal behavior. Their ability and desire to express physical and sexual attraction to each other is nobody else's business but theirs; it only has to make sense and be seen as normal. "Get a room,"? They have a room; the room is the room they're in at that moment. If what they're doing bothers you, look away, or call the police and tell them you're being held against your will and being forced to watch 2 grown-ass adults show each other how sexy they think the other person is.

     Think about it in simpler terms. When flipping through television programs and coming across something, you don't want to watch; you don't sit there and suffer through it; you change the channel. The same concept goes when you're out for the night, and a man/woman are in the corner, minding their own fucking business. They're making out, grinding on, and feeling each other up. She's got her hand inside his pants or his inside her blouse. If they're as discreet as possible, no one's forcing you to watch; change the channel or turn your fucking head.

     What makes me laugh and shake my head in the same breath are those who get offended by seeing two people being "Freaks" and will judge them for being sexual with each other, but watch sex scenes in movies or porn with no issues.

     Freak. Nasty. Dirty. Slutty. All words to describe a natural and organic behavior to people who are more open and unrestricted compared to traditional sexual expectations of what society has deemed appropriate. Another truth is that the offended or uncomfortable people with this type of expression are guilty of one or more of these issues.

1. They've NEVER experienced that type of sensuality and intimacy with someone, so they don't know what they're missing. No man or woman wakes up in the morning, hoping NOT to feel sexy or desired. No one goes out for the night, not wanting to be seen as sexy or attractive, even if they aren't looking to meet anyone. Nobody wants to be seen as the bottom of the barrel or the last resort, 20 minutes before closing.

2. They're pissed off or jealous their partner isn't expressive in that manner, and it irritates them to see someone else getting it. There's an old saying, "Don't get pissed when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give" If you know you have the type of man who likes to grab your ass like he fucking owns it, and you have an issue with that, don't get pissed when he dumps you for another woman who'll put her ass in his hand for him to grab it. If you're a man and have the type of woman who wears low-cut tops because she wants your hands inside, squeezing her tits, and you're not into that, keep your fucking hate to yourself see her new man's hands down her blouse.

3. They're too worried about what strangers may think or say about them. Who gives a fuck? Why would anyone put the comfort of a fucking stranger sitting next to or across from you who has no business staring at you in the first place over the needs and desires of your partner? If how others see you is such a big concern for you, maybe you should be with one of them.

4. They don't know how to give or accept that particular type of expression. That's where communication comes in. Inexperience. What one person enjoys in relation to what would keep them both comfortable but still allow for expression and experimentation without feeling awkward or weird.

5. Some could not want it; if that's' the case, there's a much deeper-rooted issue than just being against PDA. Again, complete, open communication is the key to addressing this.

6. They weren't raised that way. They were taught that any "Non-traditional" sexual expression of public or private sexuality calls their morals and self-respect into question. Even as an adult, how their friends and family see them means so much, they'll sacrifice their own needs and desires to appease them.

     Fondling each other in public. Car sex. Sneaking off to the bathroom during dinner for a quickie. Bent over the hood for a quick fuck. Hair-pulling. Role-playing. Blindfolds and handcuffs. Multiple partners. Open relationships. Public/mutual masturbation. Watching or being watched. Dirty talk. All of these are examples of what could be seen as freaky behavior. Again, the term "Freaky" only applies to the person making the statement. It's not freaky; it's not a bad thing. If two people want to engage in behavior and activities you want nothing to do with, don't participate; don't put yourself in the position or situation to deal with it. If you have friends who are into that, choose where and when you hang out with them. It's not a negative thing. From where they're standing, you're the fucking freak for not handling your business and treating your partner like a contagious disease; scared as fuck you might catch something that'll either make your dick fall off or grow tentacles from your nipples if you get too close!


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


DEC 20, 2020


     When you meet somebody who just got out of a long-term relationship, it’s up to you to gauge where they are regarding whether or not they’ve completely moved on. It’s up to you to decide if you want to move forward with someone you know for a fact hasn’t detached themselves from old ties. Physically, sexually, and emotionally, you hope they’ve dealt with their issues, and they’re not bringing baggage that’ll keep you from getting a fair chance; if you’re not on your shit, you could end up just being their ex in a different package.

     Yeah, it sounds silly as hell, but it’s the truth. It’s your responsibility. Many people aren’t going just to come out and tell you they’re still hung up on their ex. They may not even know they are until they meet somebody or see their ex out with someone else. Things to look out for are how much they talk about their ex, why they broke up, the mindset or tone in their voice when the subject comes up. Be careful about people who still have unresolved issues, such as a shared residence, a vehicle, pets, financial obligations, unpaid debts, and shit like that. One or both of them could be unwilling to put a rush on resolving what needs to be taken care of. They could be holding on to shit to keep their contact going.

     After the breakup, men will run out, find the first piece of ass they can, and try to fuck their ex out of their system to avoid the temptation of going back to their ex. Even if he wants to go back, he’ll take his time. Men will use the break to fuck other women before he goes back and tries to make up; that way, in his mind, he didn’t really cheat because they weren’t together. He figures whatever he does during the time apart can’t and shouldn’t be held against him; that makes sense until he finds out she did the same thing. Where he’ll fuck up is if he does makeup with his ex, he won’t let go of any of the women he’s fucked around with while he was single. He either turned greedy as fuck, and he wants the best of both worlds. He got used to the player lifestyle and didn’t want to give it up. Or he’s got one foot in and one out, just in case things don’t work out.

     If she does the same thing, he’ll either turn bitch or get pissed at her. He expected her to sit at home, pining, and waiting for him to come back or not. Even though he’s out doing the same thing, he won’t see it the same way. She met somebody else, went on a few dates, maybe even slept with someone herself. It’s okay when he’s doing it, but when she does it, he’ll accuse her of cheating while they were apart or during their relationship.

Women will jump from one relationship right into a new one. If she’s been burned before by leapfrogging from one to another, at the very least, she’ll immediately meet and date somebody else to take her mind off the breakup or avoid dealing with the heartbreak.

     No matter how good that new man is, he’s temporary. It could be 3 to 6 months or even a year down the road; sooner or later, that relationship will end because he’s not the one she really wants. He’s nothing more than the rebound guy. His only purpose was to distract her from her feelings after the end of her relationship. Eventually, it’s going to end, and it’ll end abruptly and from out of nowhere. One day, things are going great, and the next, she’ll say she thought she was ready, but now she’s not sure. She wants to concentrate on herself, or you’re not her type. She says she’s not ready for a relationship, even though she is. 2 weeks later, she’ll be with somebody new and put her entire heart into him. The first guy meant nothing; it’s the second guy who’ll get the relationship; they’ll get the very best of her. When that goes to shit, she’ll realize the first man was the far better man, but she already burned that bridge.

     Men will flaunt their new girl in their ex’s face if or when he can, hoping to get a reaction. It’ll make him feel good to know he can still piss her off and make her jealous. He wants her to want him not to want the woman he’s with. He wants her to rue the day they broke up, even if he was the reason they broke up. That shit will backfire when she shows no interest in what he’s doing or who he’s with. If they end up at the same place and he’s solo, he’ll try to show off his playful side and hit on every woman in the spot, making sure she sees him. Either that, or he won’t talk to anyone because the last thing he wants is for his ex and her friends to see him get turned down.

     Women won’t play that game. She’ll go straight for the throat. If she sees her ex with another woman, she’ll either ignore him completely, or she’ll walk right up and cause a scene. She’ll approach that other woman and try to “Warn her” about getting involved with him. She won’t be all over every guy who hits on her; instead, she’ll ignore her ex and have the best time of her life with her friends. She’ll let other men flirt with her, and she’ll flirt back. She’ll put her best foot forward into showing him that their breakup was the best thing she’s ever done. All those guys who were cool with him have no reason to associate with him anymore. His girl’s a free game now, and that’s what they wanted from the jump.

     If she’s with someone else, his hopes of making her mad and wanting to cause a scene had a boomerang effect, and now he’s the one wanting to walk up and start some shit and act a fool. She’ll be with her new man, and he’ll act the asshole. He held off trying to get back together for a little too long, and before he knew it, he got replaced. She upgraded, and now, he’s watching her get everything she begged him for from somebody else, and he’ll see how happy and appreciative she is to get it. He never wanted to take her out to nice places. He never dressed like a grown man, instead of a damn thug; dance with her or show PDA but will get crazy bent watching her grind her ass up to her new man and see his hands all over her body.

     We’re not stupid, we know a certain amount of residual emotion comes with every person we meet and get involved with, but again, it’s up to you to ask the right questions. Make your own mind up to where the other person is, based on their responses, how much they talk about them, or if they’re still around. If they have kids between them, that’s something you can’t get rid of. If the respect is there and they can co-parent amicably, that’s one thing. If they’re always arguing and it’s affecting your relationship, you’re not wrong for speaking up. It doesn’t mean they still have feelings for each other, but just like any other topic that comes between you, you must decide if there’s reason to question if it’s something you can deal with in the long run. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


NOV 22, 2020


     Out of all your friends and people in your social circle, you’re going to have at least one person who dislikes you because of who you’re in a relationship with. Not because they mistreat you, which would be understandable, but because he’s a good man who loves you, and you love him back. He treats you like you want and should be treated, and you do the dame for him, and that irritates the fuck out of your so-called “Friend.” They’ll act like they’re happy you found someone who brings you so much happiness, but if they’re single or miserable in their own relationship, they’re not really happy at all. They’re not interested in the least bit about the joy and success you’re having, not when their love life is non-existent or in the shitter.

     They can’t say enough good things about your man to your face. They tell you how they’re glad you found somebody who supports you, believes in you, and encourages you to follow your dreams and goals. They act like it’s great how he makes sure you’re safe and taken care of whenever you’re together. HE calls to check on you while you’re out, and he isn’t afraid to check in himself or to let you know he’s thinking of you. She can’t even get ahold of her man from Friday morning to Sunday afternoon. Her man never seems to want to take her anywhere or be seen with her, except when he wants something. They can’t go anywhere without him looking past her or breaking his neck to check out other women.

     They brag to all your mutual friends and co-workers about how your man opens the door for you, pulls out your chair, and pumps the gas; he even remembers your birthday and your 1st date anniversary. He turns down other women who make passes at him. Secretly, she wishes she can say the same about her man. She knows she can’t even trust him when they go out together without him eye-fucking other women or trying to get attention. He can’t go a single date night without drinking, getting high, or getting into a fight with somebody, just because they were looking at either of you.

     This goes far beyond plain jealousy. For some reason, it’s your fault you ended up with a good man, and they’re alone, or with a drunk, drug-addicted, lying, the cheating asshole who doesn’t want to work, and she lets him live off of her. She lets him drop her off at work, takes her car, and go off, doing whatever and whoever. She has kids but spends her money keeping him in style, and he can’t even make dinner for her and her kids. He doesn’t even like her kids and treats them like shit or expects her to choose between them and him. It’s your fault they’re letting some piece of shit take advantage of them while you’re having the best time of your life with a great guy.

     You go out together, and you went for the good, decent guy, but she passed on his equally charismatic and respectful friend and went for the drunk player who was hitting on every woman that walked by. You value quality over quantity, and she wanted to be the hot girl every woman in the room wanted to fuck. She was only interested in the mysterious, “Bad boy” who didn’t pay her any attention. Their choice is their choice because those are the types of men she chooses. She wants the type of men she normally chooses but wants them to treat her the way your man treats you.

     The foundation of her anger and hatred towards you goes no deeper or has absolutely no substantial reasoning behind it, except you have a man who treats you right, and she doesn’t. She smiles in your face and is quick to meet you and the girls out and have a great time, as long your man isn’t there, and you’re not talking about him. She’s one of your best friends as long as it’s just you or you and the girls. The first time you text your man or he texts to make sure you’re okay, she’ll flip out and turn sideways on you. If he shows up with his friends and one of them shows interest, she’ll STILL ignore him and go for the loudmouthed shitbag who’s obviously just looking for some quick and easy ass.

     Everything between you two was always cool. You were pretty good friends, if not the best of friends, until she met your man. After that, things changed. You aren’t as close as you were before, and it’s because she hates that you have a better man than she does. You aren’t invited to hang out with her and her man after the first time. She compared how your man treats you and how you interact with each other to how shitty her “Pretty boy” treats her. She went for looks, and you went for personality. She went for the hot, sexy guy, and you met the one who wasn’t into having every woman all over him. Her choice in men is the reason she hates you.

     It’s double date night, and Amy & Jack are having drinks with Sarah & Tom. It’s pouring down rain at the end of the night, and Jack tells Amy to wait under the awning and keep dry while he goes for the car. Sarah stands next to Amy, thinking Tom will follow the example. Instead, Tom’s wondering why she’s just standing there. She gives a look of humiliation and despair before she takes off running behind Tom through the parking lot in the rain in her thin, tight, black dress and heels to the car. Based on Tom’s behavior, Sarah blames and hates Amy because Jack didn’t want Amy to get soaked. When Sarah gets home, she’ll look in the mirror at the comic character supervillain staring back with her makeup dripping down her face. It’ll ruin her mood for sex when Tom tells her she needs to wash her face or shower first.

     Her man makes sure she knows there are plenty of women out there who’d love to be with him. Your man makes sure you know he only has eyes for you. Her man’s quick to tell her how much he gets hit on, and your man doesn’t want you thinking about shit like that. He pays more attention and detail to his car than he does to her. He wants to stay home and watch the game or play on the computer; if you want to go out, then it’s coming out her pocket; he sure isn’t going to pay to go anywhere or do something he doesn’t want to in the first place.

     They’ll smile to your face and talk shit behind your back because of how your man treats you. They’re mad at you because you have a good man, and they have an asshole. Instead of demanding more from her man or the men she’s attracted to, she’ll stay with the asshole she’s with or leaves him to find another one just like him and expect different results. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


OCT 18, 2020


     It’s not the best of situations, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do for what’s best for you and your family. You can’t afford a house, and you’re raising your kids in an apartment. That doesn’t mean you get to let your kids run around the complex like it’s a backyard playground.

     The parking lot’s not a park or playground, and kids shouldn’t be allowed to roam unsupervised throughout the complex while you’re at home, relaxing and glad they’re not in your hair or bugging the hell out of you. You’re glad their outside and not hogging the TV with their video games. Out of sight, out of mind shouldn’t apply here.

     Cars are pulling in and out regularly. Delivery vans and moving trucks are parked, creating crazy blind spots and hazardous conditions. The parking lot’s not a skate park, baseball diamond, football field, or place to practice their basketball skills. Your pets aren’t allowed to roam free. The complex isn’t a dog park where they can run around off-leash. People are scared of and allergic to dogs, and most complexes have a leash requirement in the lease agreement. 

     You can’t keep your dog locked up in the apartment all day, every day, because you don’t feel like taking them for a walk. Your dog barks every time another dog walks by, and your neighbors hate you and your dog.

     Drivers have to be extra vigilant as it is when navigating the parking lot, much less without adding having to look out for your kids running around, chasing balls, or suddenly falling off their skateboards just as you’re backing out or making a turn. You’d have a fit if one of your kids got hurt or in an accident that shouldn’t have happened in the first place because you let your kids play in the damn parking lot.

     You’re too tired, busy, or you just don’t have the motivation or interest in taking your kids to the playground, park, or anywhere more appropriate for them to let off steam and just play. All they want to do is sit around, playing video games, eat garbage, get overweight, and you’re okay with that, as long as they’re not keeping you from watching the game. You don’t have to get up and do anything with them, so whatever they’re doing is just fine by you. They want to play, but they have no place to play, and you won’t lift a finger to find them a place to play when all you have to do is sit there and keep an eye on them. Some complexes have designated play areas, and you won’t even take the time or make the walk through the complex with your kids to keep them safe. The first time there’s an accident, you’ll want to blame the driver for not paying attention.

     What about your lack of attention for your own kids? They wouldn’t have been out there in the parking lot in the first place had you not been so lazy and unwilling to get off your ass and just take them to the play area. What about when they damage someone else’s car? Your kids most likely won’t admit it, and if they did, would you own up and pay for the damages, or will you blow it off as “Kids will be kids” when someone’s knocking on your door when your kid’s dented their car or broke a window? Your kids are damaging people’s cars when using their finger to write “Wash me” into the paint. They don’t understand when they do that; they’re scratching that shit into someone’s car.

     How do you not see anything wrong with letting your kids run around the complex with toy guns, hiding between parked cars? They look real enough, and they’re jumping out, thinking it’s funny to scare people. They’re playing hide and seek when the sun’s going down. You’ll get pissed if they get tased, stabbed, beat the hell up, or shot by someone just walking to or from their car. The dumpsters aren’t drumsets or rock throwing targets. The walls surrounding back patios are for that renter’s privacy, not for your kids to climb up on to look into their apartment. The parking lot’s not a racetrack for bikes or stunt training facility for skateboarding.

     You sent your kids out to the parking lot to play when your man or your lady came over, and you wanted some privacy. Was it worth it? You chose sex over the safety of your children. You could’ve easily told them to sit quietly and not to bother you for 15-20 minutes. You knew exactly where they were, and they were safe, but you let that other person talk you into sending your kids out into the lion’s den so you wouldn’t be bothered. They didn’t want to be around your kids, or you didn’t want to expose them to different men and women coming and going, but the parking lot isn’t a substitution for a sitter so you can fuck.

     Take them to the park. All you have to do is sit there and keep an eye on them while they play. You can take turns with other parents and alternate. It’s not funny to knock on someone’s door and run; that’s how kids get their asses handed to them or snatched. It’s bad enough adults are doing it, but your kids are also stealing packages from outside other people’s doors because you do it, or they’ve seen it online and think it’s cool or funny.

     Apartment life is unavoidable; it’s a necessity for many people, and you have to be considerate of your neighbors when your kids are running through the complex playing and screaming past other people’s doors and windows. Somebody may be sleeping because they work overnights. They just got their crying baby to sleep, and your kids woke them up. It’s Independence Day, and your kids are playing in the parking lot. You or your kids don’t realize your neighbor happens to be a combat veteran who has issues with firecrackers. Your music’s a little too loud, or your friends are out back, yelling and cheering during the big game. Yeah, it’s your place, and you pay rent, but so do they.

     It’s not the ideal situation to raise a family, but it’s better than your parent’s basement. Every family wants a yard for the kids to play. You want your privacy, and you want to be able to enjoy being at home. You want your place to be a place you can relax and be yourself, but in an apartment, consideration trumps what you want. That’s when you have to be creative and proactive. You have to take that extra step to be courteous and more involved in taking your kids somewhere they can be kids. You can’t keep them cooped up in the apartment.

     Why would you send your kids to the pool by themselves? You let your 12-year old go to the pool by themselves and made them take your 4-year old along because you didn’t want to deal with them or hear them whine about wanting to go too, but you didn’t feel like taking them. That’s YOUR child. It’s not your pre-teens job to watch them. They’re either going to be stuck on the sidelines, watching their younger brother or sister have fun, or they’re going to be too wrapped up enjoying themselves to keep a close enough watch.

     You’re putting your kids on display and advertising them to someone who may not have their safety in mind. Who knows how long it would take to locate your child if they came up missing? You didn’t think to check on them until it was time for dinner, and even then, you figured they’d come home when they were hungry.

     You didn’t realize your kids were missing until you went to the dumpster to toss out your garbage and found their body after they’d been assaulted. Your kids have friends in the complex you don’t about, and you’ve never met their parents; you have no idea where to even begin looking for them! You want to think the best of people, but how well do you really know your neighbors? They’re nice, they always say hello and open for small talk, but do you REALLY know them? You trust them enough to allow your children to see them as a safe haven in case of an emergency, but they could be the emergency you hope they don’t run into. You’re giving someone who’s hurting and abusing their own kids' access to your kids just because they have kids.

     The parking lot’s for cars, not kids. It’s not a place to let your children run around unsupervised. The parking lot’s a dangerous place where so many things can and will go wrong. It’s not even funny. Cars should be paying attention, but to expect drivers to watch out for kids running out in front of their cars to retrieve a football or slam on their brakes for a pet is asking a little too much. Sending your kids to the pool by themselves; you’re pretty much asking other parents to look after your children while you sit at home on your ass.

     How is that fair to your neighbors? How is that fair to your older children when you’re making them take your kids outside to play in the heat while you stay indoors with the AC running? Are you making them take and drink water? Are you even thinking about hydration, or are you just glad they’re not in your face? How would you feel if you accidentally ran over someone’s pet or hit a kid who ran out in front of your car? How quickly would you say they shouldn’t have been out there by themselves? How quick would you ask where their parents were? They were in the same place you were the other day, in their apartment, glad they weren’t being bothered by their own bratty ass kids.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


OCT 11, 2020


     Fear means something different to everybody. Some love it; some hate it; some even get off on it. The art and pursuit of trying to scare each other have been sources of entertainment and humor for a long time. From scary movies to horror fiction to urban legend, we enjoy going to haunted houses and watching scary movies; we can’t seem to get enough of them. We tirelessly search for the next thing that’ll have us jumping out of our seat or practically pissing our pants. It’s funny how we know something’s about to happen, and we think the actors and actresses in the movies can hear us when we’re yelling and cursing at them to turn around or not walk into a dark, damp room.

     I can’t imagine how people would react to a real-life scenario in comparison to the movies. Still, it’s funny as hell to watch how the writers portray how people would actually react when being stalked by a savage beast, hunted or taunted by a slasher, or deranged serial killer, or how smart they’d be if trapped in a “kill or be killed” maze or puzzle.

     Where do the people behind these movies and stories get the idea of how the normal person would react if put in these situations? What makes them the authority or expert in fearful behavior? How do they come up with the choices the victims make during their pretend ordeal? Yeah, it’s a movie or story, but the goal is to scare the fuck out of us, right?

     They’re supposed to be scaring us, but instead of doing so, they hand us the plot and what’s going to happen next on a silver platter. Why give us the creepy footsteps from the upper floor or attic? Why scary music? Why prepare us for the next scare? Why follow the same pattern over and over and over again? How about something new and improved?

     We saw a brief shift in the dynamic of horror movies with the “Found footage” first-person aspect, but it quickly overstayed it’s welcome and became just as boring and cliché as the others. They slid over to the ridiculous and out of hand. The idea became just as “Cookie-cutter” as the rest of them.

     The pattern of a horror movie is as predictable as the sunrise. Horror became mundane and humorous and stuck itself into its own rut. Is that the funny or entertaining part? Or do we really believe the star football player can’t run 3 miles to the nearest road for help? Are we supposed to be convinced the same cheerleader who can execute a blindfolded running triple somersault on command suddenly can’t run 50 feet without falling and breaking her ankle?

     1896 marked the release of “The Haunted Castle,” the very first horror movie shown on screen. Corny as hell by today’s standards, it sparked the fascination of fear in cinema. Since then, hundreds of attempts to scare the shit out of us have blessed movie screens worldwide; some successful, some just fucking ridiculous. What sets the good from the bad ones is not knowing who the villain is. The sinister music that leads to the “Jump scene.” Balancing the blood and gore with keeping our interest in a semi-suspenseful plot and storyline. Trying to guess who the next victim is or in what way they’re going to get it.

     Do you want to capture the damn monster? What the hell are you thinking? And what’s your plan, even if you’re successful? Conduct an autopsy? Try to study it? Even worse, you want to hunt down a monster that’s been in the same forest for a hundred years, and you, a third-year college student’s going to do what experienced hunters and killers couldn’t do. You’re going to be the one who kills the killer who’s been killing your friends in a rage of vengeance? Get real; your ass is grass. You should be trying to go the other fucking direction, not towards the shit that wants to kill you!

     You really think it’s wise to insult or taunt the killer. Your girlfriend’s about to become ground beef, and you’re going to save her by shifting the killer’s attention to you first? Do you think she’s going to come out of hiding to do the same for you? Think again. Now both of you are going to die, but you’re going to die first because she’s tied to a chair or her legs are all fucked up. Do you want to help? Then get some REAL help! It sucks, but one getting away is better than you both fucking dying.

     Do you want to reason with them? When it’s a loved one who’s turned zombie, vampire, werewolf, or whatever else, there’s always that one person who believes they can be saved from themselves. No matter what they are now, there are still some remnants of who they used to be. They’re “Still in there; I know they are.” They believe the killer can be “Talked down” or out of killing them and their friends.

     You may be stranded because the car tires are flat, but my ass would be driving on fucking rims. You’re on a farm with tractors and other equipment with batteries, why can’t you grab one of those batteries to replace the dead one in your getaway vehicle?

     You don’t think they’ll hurt you because you know who they are. The killer was someone you grew up with; your partner was bitten and transformed into some freaky-looking shit, and you think they’ll remember you, even though they’re slobbering at the mouth, trying to eat your brains. You just can’t shoot them or chop their head off because it used to be your kid, your very best friend, or spouse, so you’ll let them tear out and chew on your intestines instead. You don’t want to leave them behind, even though you saw them get slashed and carted off kicking and screaming? Do you want to take your ass deep into that same fucking forest after them?

     Do you want to go back? What? Are you serious? You heard them screaming in pain and suffering from the distance, and you still want to run back in the house to see if they’re okay; no, they’re not okay, can you not hear the same shit everyone else in the group heard? You want to attack the bad guy or the monster, but you know as soon as they make the first move, you’re going to run the other way and let them get fucked up. Everyone else has jumped the kidnapper, but you’re running for the door.

    Does it really matter why the guy in the pumpkin mask or dressed like a fucking clown just murdered all your friends? Will it make you feel better to know why you’re about to have your head hacked off? Do you think that’ll make having that pipe shoved up your ass hurt less? Do you want to know what they want from you? Besides shoving a 6-foot pike up your butthole. It doesn’t matter in the long run, or you already know why they want revenge on you. Asking is always funny to see in the movies.

     Asking if there’s anyone out there? Did you not hear your doorbell ring or the knock at the door? Do you think the best thing for you to do is open the front door at 2 am when you’re home alone and walk outside with the weakest flashlight on the planet? Horror movie flashlights are as bright as action movie hand grenade explosions are accurately depicted. You live alone, and you heard creaking noises from the upstairs, a crash, or strange noise from the garage? Go ahead and investigate that shit; don’t call the police or anything like that. Leave your shotgun in the closet and the shells in the garage.

     “It’s nothing; it’s just the wind.” That’s what they say so they can keep fucking you, but they heard that shit too. They know they’re going to die, so they might as well die AFTER they get some ass! You really think it’s a good idea to open that box with the upside-down cross or pentagram on it. Cutting the lock on the ancient graveyard to have a party in the creepy-ass mausoleum makes you dumb as hell. You’re quick to grab a crowbar and tear up sections of the floor with the pentagram drawn on it, you stupid fuck.

     You pulled off to the side of the road to piss, but did you really have to walk a quarter-mile off the road at night to do it? Are you fucking dog, looking for just the right tree to pee against?

     You all get together for a night of drinking and smoking pot, and one of you gets the bright fucking idea to do something stupid like break out the Ouija board or play some stupid game where you stand in front of a mirror a try to summon a damn spirit or demon. Then you heard some fucked up shit, and you play it off like you all didn’t just see that mirror move or crack down the middle. Did you not just hear the same shit everyone else just heard from outside or upstairs? Yeah, you did, because you all stopped drinking and laughing and looked up like, “What the fuck was that?” 3 seconds later, someone blames the wind against an open shudder, and you all continue like nothing happened. You found some old book in a trunk, bound by what looks like human skin and your first reaction is to flip through and read some shit out loud?

     Do you want to split up? Are you fucking high? If you do, just make sure you have the black guy in your group, because according to stereotypical horror movie patterns, long as the black guy’s still alive, everyone else is safe. You won’t leave without them? Fine, they’ll leave without your dumb ass! I’ll tell you I’ll wait until you’re too far away to chase me when I take off on your dumb ass. Better yet, you want me to stay put or in hiding while you go off to get help without me? Fuck you! I’m going with you. You’d better find a place for me to ride on that motorcycle, bicycle, horse, unicorn, goat, or whatever the fuck you’re about to get on and ride the fuck out of there! You want to wait until the next morning before you try to leave and get help? Anyone who can sleep through the night, knowing there’s a killer stalking you and your friends, is most likely the damn killer!


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Aug 17, 2020


     Oh shit! You just got caught and your mind's racing for some shit to say that'll turn your partner's attention from the woman riding his dick in the back seat of your car or her man's dick in another woman's mouth and you can't come up with a fucking thing to say, but the dumbest shit possible! Instead of just owning up to the dirty shit, you just got caught doing and taking the heat for it, you actually believe you can come up with and say some shit that'll soften the blow, and possibly make what you're doing seem not as bad as it is.

     First question: What the hell do you think you can say that'll make what you're doing NOT seem as fucked up as it is? Second, what makes you think they're going to stand there and listen, much less, believe anything you have to say? Third, What happens when your lady AND the other woman starts kicking your ass, or the other man throws you out his car and drives off, leaving you stranded 20 miles from home in heels and a short dress or skirt?

     What CAN you say that'll make why you're doing seem any better than getting caught in the act? At least if it's word of mouth or you didn't actually catch them, but the evidence is stacked heavily against you? What goes through your head when you utter the first stupid fucking thing that comes to your head?








- YOU DID SHIT TOO - Even though it was less severe shit.




- I'M JUST BEING A MAN - Men weren't designed to be with just one woman.

- I'M ADDICTED TO SEX - But I was ashamed to say anything to you about it.









- MY MOM OR DAD CHEATED WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER - And they're still together after 20 years.







- I WAS DRUNK AND PASSED OUT - They took advantage of me. So, why aren't we reporting it as a sexual assault?



- I/HE WORE A CONDOM; IT DOESN'T COUNT - I didn't feel anything.
























Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Aug 2, 2020


     Uh-oh! You got caught red-handed, and now you're in a world of shit. You're sitting in the front seat of your car, getting your dick sucked by a mouth that doesn't belong to you lady or in the back seat, riding a dick that isn't attached to your man. You're stumbling to pull your yoga pants back up or stuffing your dick back in your pants right when your man or lady walked through the door two hours early from work to find you bent over the back of the kitchen table, or you're slamming your legs closed and trying to hop up from the couch. Too late, you're busted, and the look on your face is fucking priceless. Your partner just showed you your phone, and you were dumb as fuck enough to hold on to the texts and photos you were sent from the other person or your friends told you they saw your lady or your man out the other night, doing dirty shit. Let's break down some of the more popular facial expressions and what they mean.

- OH SHIT! HOW AM I GOING TO TALK MY WAY OUT OF THIS? - You really don't know what to say, but you know you'd better say something if you hope to make it out alive or at least explain yourself. Even though you know whatever you come up with won't be worth a fucking thing, you'd still better say something, ANYTHING!

- IT'S NOT HOW IT LOOKS/NOT WHAT YOU THINK - How is it NOT - how it looks? How many different ways can have sex with someone who isn't the person you're supposed to be putting the dick into or giving up the ass too? It's EXACTLY how it looks!

- DAMN, THERE AIN'T SHIT I CAN SAY - That's when you just hang your head down and know you fucked up, and there's nothing you can say to justify or rationalize shit.

- WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? - You shrug your shoulders, wondering how they can be so surprised when all you've been doing for the past six months is argue and are pissed at each other.

- THAT'S NOT ME! - You're shaking your head from side to side, in full denial over what his/her friends have just told them about how you were all over that guy at the bar last weekend, stroking him through his pants or how that female was grinding all up on you on the dance floor, letting you grab her ass or shoving your hands down her top.

- I'M CAUGHT NOW MIGHT AS WELL FINISH - "Oh, well, I'm pretty much fucked now; might as well stay with the chick that already knows about you."

- I DON'T SEE YOU STANDING THERE - "If I don't turn and acknowledge you standing there, you don't exist."

- SHOCK AND AWE - The look on your face says, "FUCK!" Your heart and stomach just dropped into your stomach, and you're completely paralyzed.

- BABY, LET ME EXPLAIN - Your immediate reaction is to pull out or hop off the dick and run after them butt-ass naked, your panties dragging on the ground from one leg, or you just tripped over your underwear around your ankles with your dick still hanging out.

- GO BACK TO SLEEP - This expression looks a lot like you're trying to be the shoulder they're going to cry on when you're the friend or confidant, instead of the asshole that just got caught cheating.

- HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON? - You'll wipe your eyes and shake your head as if you're just coming out of a zombie-like trance, and you have no idea how you got into the situation you're in. Like they're going to believe you just tripped and stumbled into fucking someone who isn't your partner.

- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE - That's when you look at your partner and tell the person you're fucking you don't know who they are or they're an ex you broke up with in the past, and they're trying to start some shit.

- WAIT, THIS AIN'T YOU? - This is just a stupid, fucked-up face that has no explanation or definition at all. It's a look pf realized stupidity.

- WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU FUCKING OR SUCKING ME? - Yeah, like this is going to work. You'll try to pass off being drunk, high, etc. and you have no idea how you got into the situation you're in. They took advantage of you while you were out cold, and lucky your partner came in a stopped it before it got too deep. You're looking at this other person like they're the bad guy, instead of you.

- DAMN, GUESS I HAVE TO GET A JOB NOW TO PAY FOR MY WEED - You just realized you lost your meal ticket.

- HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET TO WORK TOMORROW NOW? - You know you fucked up with someone who gave you more than just a relationship. Now you're thinking about how you have to move out of their place; you can't use their car anymore, you have to go back to walking or taking the bus to work, and how you're not going to be able to go out with your friends and meet other people to fuck around with.

- BETTER CURL UP IN A BALL; I'M ABOUT TO GET MY ASS BEAT BY 2 WOMEN! - You close your eyes, clench your teeth, cover your face, and brace yourself for your beating.

- MAYBE I'M DREAMING, I HOPE I'M DREAMING - You're NOT dreaming; asshat. This is REAL life, REALLY happening, and you fucked up!

- WHO, ME? - Yes, you! Another expression of confusion as if you have no idea what they're talking about when they bring what they were told about you by their friends. You'll try to convince your partner your friends are jealous or they just don't like you, and you have no idea why. You know why; because they know the truth about you.

     The faces you make will give you away. The initial shock will telegraph your guilt, even when confronted with accusations. You'll make yourself look even more fucked up when you're trying to convince them of your innocence by the loo on your face. You got caught; face it, deal with it. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Jul 26, 2020


     Why are you asking questions you don't answer to? Why are you asking people you care about, and who cares about you for their honesty? Why are you asking shit you want a specific answer to and get butt-bent out of shape when they tell you the truth or they don't say EXACTLY what you wanted them to? What's the fucking point of asking shit you already know the answer to?

     You know she didn't cum; you know she didn't orgasm, so why are you asking? Now you've either annoyed the fuck out of her. They have to either be honest with you or come up with some shit that's not going to hurt your feelings. "Is it good to you" is another. If their reaction while fucking or right afterward isn't an accurate account of how well or how pitiful you put the dick down, then asking them is pointless; you already know the answer. If they come back for more 15-20 minutes later, or they want to stay the night, that's a good sign. If she comes up with a reason to get right up and either leave or run a 3-miler on the treadmill, then you have your answer.

     Don't ask if an outfit makes you look bad or fat: you already know it does, you're just asking to hear something different from what you already know. You have a script in your head of responses that'll make you feel better about the size you're wearing, but you'll get butt-hurt and shitty when you're asking for the truth, and you get it. Does your outfit look bad on you? YES! Yes, it does. Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking. You already know your outfit doesn't match, but you really want it to, so you're looking for someone to say, "Not really, but it's still cute!"

     Stop asking your partner if they think you need to lose weight. They'll be careful about this one and tell you don't NEED to lose weight, but they sure as hell would LOVE it if you did! Unless your partner has a fetish for larger people, you already know the answer to this silly ass question. If you were 120-130 lbs. when you met seven years and two kids ago, why would you ask him if he thinks you need to lose weight now that you 180-200 lbs. now? You want her to tell you how sexy you still are and that your "Beer belly" doesn't get in the way of her going down on you or doesn't hurt like hell when he puts it on your lower back when he's trying to fuck you from behind. You used to be able to rock that shit for 30-45 minutes, 3-4 times daily, ow, you're huffing and panting after 10 minutes. You know you need to lose weight, stop using that shit, and wanting someone to lie to you.

     You're eating the same meal they are, and you don't like the taste, so why would you ask someone else how they like it when you don't? Hell, you cooked it, and you hate it; of course, they hate it too. You tried out a new recipe, and it didn't come out anywhere near the way it was supposed to, so why'd you serve it? Better yet, why the hell did you ask your partner or kids what they thought, knowing they weren't going to tell you the truth?

     You're not the most attractive person in your social circle, and you know it, so why are you wondering why all your friends are hooking up when you go out and no one's talking to you until around the last hour or when all the other decent options are gone? You know why to stop asking yourself or other people what's wrong with you. You already know; Whether you're overweight or awkward, dressed like a soccer mom or a slob. If you're dress in something sexy, tight, and revealing, you know why all the men are coming at you; because they want to fuck you. Whether your breath smell like shit or you're dressed like your teenage son, talking like the guys from rap videos, there's no reason to ask why you're getting no rhythm from the ladies, you already know; you just don't want to hear the truth.

     What's that other person have that you didn't? Most of you know that answer too, whether you want to admit it or not. Whether or not it makes sense to you, it only has to make sense to the person who cheated. You may do or not do something sexually they want or don't want, and they're frustrated by it, but you knew that already. You may want sex too frequently or not enough, and they found someone more compatible. You ignored them; you smothered them, you kept doing shit that made them question your fidelity and commitment to the relationship. One or both of you weren't meeting the other's needs in some other way, and they came across someone else who did. Regardless, you already know why they did what they did, you're just hurt, confused, and looking for rationalization.

     You know you drive like shit. They've tried to tell you how they prefer you to give oral sex, but you hate doing it, so you don't listen. You can't even boil pasta without fucking it up. You can barely read your handwriting, and you fucking wrote it. Your coffee tastes like shit, that's why they never have a second cup, or you find so many coffee house cups in the car.

     You bought a 60" flat screen television because the neighbors have one, that's why you're always fucked on your bills. You're sitting at the dining room table with the bank book, and monthly statement worried and pissed off because you just barely have enough money to cover rent and the bills with nothing left over, not even for savings. You know why you're drowning, and you know where the money's going, so stop asking why you can't get ahead. You're spending $200 on sneakers for yourself or your kids so they can be, "In style," You just bought a $150 purse and $100 shoes to match. You just can't until your taxes come back because you're going to go crazy and get something you really don't need, instead of putting it away.

     You're asking questions you already know the answer to because you have an agenda. You know how to operate that particular system; you know how to read or print that report, but you'll still ask the cute girl two cubicles down how to do it. You're in pretty good shape; he's seen you at the gym quite a few times, but she'll still approach him and ask what exercises she should do for her triceps. She'll play the damsel in distress in hopes of striking up a conversation and interest. We ask questions we already know the answer to in order to get our foot in the door personally and professionally. We'll seek out our supervisor's boss to ask a question or offer a suggestion in hopes of showing dedication or appear indispensable to the company.

     We ask questions we know we really don't want the answer to because we think we have a right to know. We ask questions we really don't want the answer to because we believe it's crucial to the situation. You just caught your partner cheating on you; do you really want to know the details? How many times they fucked? How far they went sexually? All the dates they got together. All the places they went to together. What's the point of asking that shit? All you're doing is keeping a wound open for longer than it should be.

     You know why she's upset with you; you almost broke your neck, turning around to watch that girl walk by. You have the nerve to turn back around and ask your woman what's wrong with her or why's she's pissed. You know they're upset or angry; you've been together or married for years, and you know each other as you know yourselves. You know there's something wrong, they just don't want to talk about it yet. You are badgering them about it isn't going to get them to open up any sooner. If they do, not only will they have to explain what was wrong with them, now they have to apologize for blowing up at you because they kept asking a question you already knew the answer to.

     Stop asking your kids if they want pasta for dinner or burgers and fries; you already know the answer. You're just wasting oxygen. Stop offering choices when you know there's no choice to be made. Stop asking questions to make yourself appear helpless. Stop asking questions, then answering them to make yourself look smarter. Stop; just stop. Stop asking people for 100% complete honesty, then getting pissed when you get an answer you didn't want or expect. Nine times out of 10, you already know the answer, and you're asking for brutal honesty, but still hope they lie to you or tell you what you want to hear to make yourself feel better about what you're asking.

     Stop asking the same question to the same people over and over again, expecting a different answer. That's like knowing you're broke, but still putting your back card into the ATM, believing your balance is going to generate money into your account from the dark realm magically.

You know she has an issue with you going to the strip club, so why would you ask her how she feels about it, just because it's your friend's bachelor party? You knew it would be a bad idea to bring your kids along on your first date, so why would you even ask how he'd feel about it? Of course, he's not going to be an asshole and say no, but you know it's a bad idea.

     You know they're cheating in you; do you really think they're going to tell you the truth if you come right out and ask? Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to? Why are you wasting your breath? Why are you going through the motions? Why are you putting yourself, your partner, your friends through bullshit when you already know the outcome? Does she look ready to go in 5 minutes? She's not even dressed yet, still putting on her makeup. You know he doesn't want to go in the first place; he's only going to make you happy, so don't ask him if he's sure he wants to.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Jul 12, 2020


     Yet, another list or ridiculous questions that's just funny as hell, but people want to know these things.

Q: In the event of a first night/first date sexual encounter, who's car is used for car sex?

A: Depends on who's car is cleaner or roomier

Q: Will women view a first date at a place featuring ladies' free night (such as bowling, shooting, etc.) as him being cheap or smart with money?

A: Depends on the woman. A sensible woman will just enjoy the date. A practical woman won't be offended or even think about it at all. A ghetto chick will call him cheap. She'll intentionally show no absolutely no interest in what they're doing for the fact that it's ladies' night. She'll believe she's worth spending money on.

Q: Should men be obligated to allow women to use the men's restroom ahead of him if there's a line to the ladies' room? Should a women allow men the same courtesy?

A: Yes, and no. If there's no one waiting to use the men's room when she walked in, then there's no issue. HOWEVER, in the event there's more than one stall in that men's room, that woman just can't have her friend hold up the ENTIRE restroom because her friend's inside; she's using a stall, so there should be no reason two other men can't use those two empty stalls. She took the risk into going in the mens' room.

Q: When accepting a drink from a man, who should order the drink?

A: This is a situation that could potentially piss off a guy and fuck his head up. There are a few things to consider when addressing this subject. First, that $6 drink she's been ordering will become an $8 drink if a man orders it. When ordering the same drink with that woman sitting/standing next to him, that $8 drink just turned into a $10-$12 drink. That bartender knows you're going to pay it too because he knows you don't want to look like a cheapskate in front of that woman. Whether you pay with a $10/$5 or a $20 bill, that bartender knows he's going to get a $2 tip. Also, keep in mind that you may have met an opportunistic woman; as long as SHE'S paying, house liquor is fine; when it's HIS money, it's TOP SHELF all the way. So that $10-$12 drink just became a $15-dollar drink.; and that's without the tip. The safest thing to do is to let her order her own drink first then offer to pay.

Q: How many overnighters should go by before a woman should just expect that man's going to take a shit in her bathroom and know there's a significant possibility that it's going to stink?

A: Realistically, the first night, but he'll try to avoid it for a little while.

Q: Should a woman expect her new partner to be okay with her wearing a sexy dress or lingerie she bought for her ex initially, even if the new guy likes it and makes her feel sexy?

A: If the new man's cool with it, why not? Be upfront about it, though; don't let him find that shit out later, or make him think you got it for him. If he has an issue with it, get rid of it and go shopping for something else together.

Q: Is it wrong to recycle an expensive engagement or wedding ring?

A: Guys don't think so, but apparently a woman will dish out a swift, running kick to the dick area if her man gave her a ring he bought for someone else, no matter how much it costs. Family heirlooms are exempt from this situation.

Q: Is it wrong to give an engagement ring bought from a pawn shop?

A: Apparently not.

Q: Is a man being unreasonable for breaking up if he finds out his new lady has her ex's name tattooed on her body? Or vice-versa?

A: Absolutely not. No man wants to turn his woman over to hit it from behind, just to see, "Robert Wuz Here" or "I (Heart) Henry" tattooed on her lower back. Especially if HIS name is Mike.

Q: Should a person be expected to give up certain opposite-sex friends if they dated in the past?

A: No. Not if they're just friends, and your partner has no issues with your meeting. If you feel there may be a reason to be concerned, it's YOUR responsibility to address it and not hold it in or give in to ungrounded suspicions.

Q: Why do women think it's cute to see their diaper-wearing daughters standing in front of the TV or radio, "Booty-dancing" to the latest radio hit? Why do they feel the need to encourage it, thinking it's funny?

A: Easy, because they're ghetto-ass skanks who are pretty much a step and a half from being porn actresses or strippers.

Q: Why do black women think it's cute or endearing when their babies walk up to a random black man, thinking he's their father?

A: Because they think it's cute, their kids don't know who their father is.

Q: Who's more likely to sabotage their partner's physical fitness goals and why?

A: Men are more likely to be the saboteur. He'll get jealous of the amount of attention his woman's getting from other men, and it'll bother the fuck out of him, instead of supporting her and telling her how proud he is of her hard work and progress. His selfishness and jealous nature will eclipse his judgment.

Q: Why do men find it necessary to use the locker right next to another person in the gym when there are 80 other lockers available? Or to work out right next to another person?

A: Because they're weird, inconsiderate freaks who only care about themselves

Q: What's the maximum amount of time it should take for a person to bring up an issue in the relationship before it becomes annoying?

A: 3 Days. If a person can hold on to something their partner did that bothered them for 2 weeks before bringing it up, take that shit your grave.

Q: What's the best way to address a woman's complaint about how much weight she's gained and how she looks?

A: There isn't one. Seriously. Whatever comes out of your mouth will be fucked up.

Q: Should a person be obligated to share their food when out for dinner?

A: Nope. If they wanted to share, that's their choice to offer. Ordering something different than someone else, thinking you'll be able to try theirs, is kinda rude and presumptuous.

Q: Should a person expect special treatment at a place if their partner is the owner or manager?

A: If it happens, it happens. Should a person expect a free meal if their significant other is the manager on duty at the time? NO. Should a woman expect free drinks if her man's the bartender? Maybe 1; and just for her, not her and all her fucking friends.

Q: Should a person be offended if they're dating a service member, and they choose not to divulge details, such as their job or rank?

A: Not at all. When it comes to prior military service, some people just choose not to talk about that portion of their life. A lot of times, when women tell their friends they're dating someone in the military, one of the first questions they ask about is his job or rank. Honestly, that's none of their fucking business, as far as I'm concerned.


     We all need the one friend we can go to when there's something we need to get off our chest or much-needed advice. Men don't normally need such a confidant in their personal lives, especially when it comes to confiding his deepest secrets or thoughts with another man; that won't be received very well at all in the grand scheme. Men usually keep that shit to themselves, but for some reason will admit some of the dumbest shit to not only their friends but to perfect strangers as well. Such as when it comes to doing something stupid, from getting drunk and acting like an ass to some random broad he fucked last weekend when he has a woman at home.

     Women, on the other hand, won't share much information with someone she doesn't know, but what she'll share with her friends is far too much for her own good. She'll think she's strengthening their friendship, but in reality, she's possibly setting herself up to get so fucked up by her confidant or shit on by her man if he ever found out she shared their personal shit with other people.

- IF YOU CHEATED - You could easily be setting yourself up for blackmail. Be careful; now you're at the mercy of that friend who just might turn on you and snitch to your man if you piss her off enough. Your friends could lose respect for you, even alienate themselves from you to avoid the chances of their partner thinking they may be doing the same thing.

- IF YOUR PARTNER CHEATED - Don't even share if your partner cheated; you'll open yourself to a shitload of unwanted comments and advice, especially if you decide to work it out. Again, you risk alienation from your friends if your failure to heed their warnings about how constantly fucked up your man is going ignored.

- IF YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO OR, HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE - Telling your friends about a physical or emotional attraction to anyone else other than your partner leaves you wide open for jokes and comments from your friends and co-workers. Whenever the object of your attraction comes around, their jokes are meant to make you feel uncomfortable and to make fun of you. When the other guy is trying to find out what's funny when your friends are giggling every time he walks into the room or around.

- PRIVATE BUSINESS - Don't share your private business; and DEFINITELY not the business of your other friends or your man. What they tell you is what they've chosen to tell YOU, believing their secret was safe with you. It's not yours to share with anyone else. Your choice to share someone else's personal/private business, even to your very best friend, is nothing more than a violation and betrayal.

- PICTURES OR MESSAGES - If your partner takes the initiative or honors your request for romantic/sexy messages or photos, don't be fucked up and show them to your friends. Of course, men are more guilty of this, but women do it also when they feel the need to brag about their relationship or how they got their man to do something.

- SEXUAL DETAILS - Positions. Activities. Frequency. Quality or quantity. Issues or problems. All off-limits; you should be worried about what you talk about getting back to your man. Even if what you have to say is positive, men want to be the shit. They want to be the best you've ever had, no matter what age you are. Giving the impression that your sex life is, "Average" will still fuck up a man's head, just as much as if he found out you told your friends your sex is horrible.

- IN-HOUSE ATTRACTIONS - If you tell your girlfriend your man has a thing for them or if you think they may have a small crush on them, you create an uncomfortable situation between either your friend or your man. You'll make him feel like shit if he finds out you told her about it. You can also be setting yourself up to get cheated on if you're telling the wrong, "Friend" about your man's attraction.

- INSECURITIES - Sharing your concerns or suspicions about the vulnerabilities of your man's interest, fidelity, or desire to remain in your relationship is no one's business.

- PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP - Day in, day out; all you have to talk about is what's wrong with your relationship. Every day, all you have to talk about is the negative shit. Sooner or later, your friends can and will get sick of hearing about that shit. They'll start to avoid talking to you or tell you to end it or shut the fuck up and deal with it.

- BREAKUP OR DIVORCE - Any impending plans to end your relationship or marriage should be kept to yourself for so many reasons. If you have mutual friends, it's only a matter of time before it gets back to your partner. Trust me; it'll fuck things up so much worse if they hear that shit secondhand than from your own mouth. It makes you a coward; if you want to go, then go. Don't be shitty and allow your man to pay the bills and support the household while you stockpile your own money and resources so you can bail while he's at work or some shit like that. You'll open yourself to criticism from your social circle.

- MONEY ISSUES - The financial issues in your relationship is no one's business. If your man was shitty with money when you met three years ago, what the fuck makes you so shocked when they're STILL shitty with money now? The issue is that they're shitty with their money, along with yours! Your friends will be thinking the same thing, but only a TRUE friend will tell you that to your face; the rest will be saying it behind your back. Continued comments or conversations about your money problems also might come off as a hint to your friends that you may be asking or looking for a loan, which in turn will cause them to avoid or even restrict your friendship.

- INCOME - This is just stupid. Many companies have rules about discussing salaries, but should also a fucking no-brainer. If you're telling the friends you work with how much you make; you bet your ass they're going to name-drop on you when they're pissed that you were hired last, making equal to or more than they are, which in turn will cost you your job. Telling your friends outside of work how much you make will set you up to be the one they come to for a "Small" loan when/if they get into financial trouble. Also, you'll end up covering more of the cost in social situations, since you're, "Making the big bucks!"

- SEXUAL HISTORY (YOURS/PARTNERS) - You were a slut in college. Your man was a player. The two of you met at a party, drunk as fuck, and what started as a one-night stand turned into a relationship. Who cares when you're in your mid-late 30's? No one wants to know you get off on anal sex, or you man has/had a shoe fetish. What goes on in your sex life should stay with you and him. For other obvious reasons, bragging on having a fantastic sex life or history with someone will most definitely put some thoughts in the minds of some of your friends. You risk them trying to wedge themselves on the inside. To get a taste of what you've been bragging about.

- STD'S - No. Just fucking NO! You're putting yourself or your man in the cockpit of a fully-fueled, state-of-the-art, heavily armed, F-23 Judgement fighter jet. They'll form their opinions about both of you, and you better believe you'll only have to tell one person and wait a few days; everyone else will know too.

- WEAKNESSES/PHOBIAS - Why would you willingly give ANYONE the intel, tools, and ammunition to destroy you?

- DREAMS/IDEAS - The money-making idea you've been scribbling down for the past few months. That plan you put so much hard work into to save the company hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. That business you want to start. Keep all that shit to yourself because no matter how close you are to your friends, you have at least 1 or 2 who will sell you out and take your idea; they'll run your plan up the company ladder and take the credit for your hard work. That business you wanted to start just got started by the one person you told about it.

- PLANS TO QUIT YOUR JOB - Don't think for one second your friends at your job won't sell you out to the big bosses if they think it'll help them move up. If you have a job interview for another company and you tell the wrong person you think is your friend, it'll be all over the office in less than a day. You'll get that promotion all right, promoted right to the unemployment line.

- PARTNER'S EX - The issues you or your man have with his ex or the mother of his children are no one's business. All you're going to hear is what THEY would do if they were you. They're not you; they're not in your situation, and again, putting his business out in the open to your friends will get his pissed off at you.

- YOUR PARTNER'S KIDS - You may not like his kids. They may not like you. Let that shit get back to him that you're talking shit about his kids and watch what happens.

- HOW TO RAISE FRIEND'S KIDS - Telling your friends how to raise their kids is a quick, easy way to get them to tell you to fuck off and end a friendship!

- HOW THEY SHOULD DEAL WITH THEIR PARTNER - "Oh, I wouldn't put up with that if I were you!" You'll either hear it or say it. Shut up; it sounds good when you're not in the situation. Stop trying to use other people as test cases for how you wish/want to talk to your partner. Don't fuck up someone else's relationship, trying to be a tougher entity in your relationship by using them vicariously.

- WHERE TO FIND HIM (WITHOUT YOU) - His interests or hobbies are none of your friend's business, where he and his friends hang out on guys night. What gym he works out at or where he gets his groceries or gas. The bookstore he frequents. You're telling other women where to find the great man you can't stop saying good things about without you and what they should be researching to seem like a better choice than you.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Jun 7, 2020


We're known to put ourselves in weird situations where we ask weird questions. Not just weird, but borderline ridiculous and insulting. In the case of failed relationships, people will ask if some of their closest friends.


FOR MEN: Somebody, "Like you," means they want someone who acts like you, who has her shit together like you, takes care of her business, and her man like you, but looks like someone else. He wants YOU but in a better package. What he's really asking is why, can't you be better-looking? Why can't you be thinner or more in shape? Why can't you be okay with FWB until he's ready to settle down and quit trying to fuck everything in sight? Why do you have to have kids? Why can't you be smoking hot?

When it comes to personality, They want you to LOOK like you but not be so grounded in things that make you who you are. Why can't you look the way you do and fuck him on the first night or first date? Why won't you even consider a threesome? Why do you have such an issue with his smoking weed or dressing like a thug when you hang out? What's wrong with going out and getting shit-faced drunk on the weekend? Why are you pushing and encouraging him to go back to school or learn a trade? Why are you always trying to upgrade him? Why can't you look like you, but let him continue to barely scrape the bottom of the barrel or mediocrity?

FOR WOMEN: Why can't they meet someone, "Like you"? They already know someone like you; YOU! But you're not a "Bad boy." You don't ride a motorcycle, and you're not built like a professional wrestler or bodybuilder. They want to please their friends, family, and peers first and place you farther down the road of importance. "Like you" means they like you for you, but you need to lose some weight. Your face needs to clear up a little bit. Your teeth are kind of fucked up, and her best friend's in the dental field, and she makes fun of you every chance she gets. They like being able to call on you when they need a ride to and from the bar after a night of drinking. You're that shoulder they cry on when they're complaining about the guy they turned you down to be with.

Someone, "Like you," is you, but NOT you. No matter how much you try, it's never going to be you, not until you become more of what she wants. Not until you become more of what her friends think is good enough for her. You're cool, you're a great person, and you'll make the right woman happier than she could ever imagine. You don't meet her or her friend's racial or ethnic preference. You don't make enough money. They don't want to ruin your friendship, just as long as there are other men better-looking than you, chasing her in order to hook up. "Like you" is you, but a version of you they want to fuck.


FREE WILL: The ability to make up their minds as to who they want to pursue a relationship with; to do whatever makes them happy, no matter what others may think of them or what they're doing, as long as it's not harmful or destructive.

STRENGTH: Not the type of strength needed to overcome impossible odds, but the basic strength to stand up the people in their lives or even strangers who have an issue with their choices in life about who they're attracted to or bring into their lives. To not give a second thought to judgemental people, just because they've been raised or taught one way and you've chosen a different path.

COURAGE: To confront the critics and let them know there's no room in their lives for judgment to them or the person they want to be with, NOT who your friends or family has chosen for you.

COMFORT: Within themselves to not give a damn about how others may feel, to not sacrifice theirs or their partner's needs to please or ensure the comfort of others. The ability to express yourself and the attraction to someone else in a way that satisfies you both. They accept their flaws and shortcomings. They don't point out everything they hate about themselves every damn day.

COMPATABILITY: In your present relationship, you have differences in both personality and sexuality. One of you is unrealistic in your expectations, and someone else is more in tune with their expression of mental and physical attraction than you are. They're not worried about offending other people when it comes to PDA, non-tradition sex or communicating their feelings.

When dealing with people with this type of mentality, this is where things tend to get twisted and fuck someone's head up. Trying to hammer through or deal with something you know is an issue, just to be with someone or allow them to sacrifice who they are is wrong and selfish, not to mention pretty shitty. Nothing good can or will come from it; the chances of destroying a person's self-esteem, self-image, or confidence is more than likely. You can pretty much count on the relationship sinking at the first sign of rocky waters or if/when a better-looking, more luxurious ship sails by, taking on new passengers. Not only will you fuck up the other person's head, but you'll destroy the friendship you had before getting involved with each other.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


APR 12, 2020


     Knowing when to go into depth and detail or answering just what's asked of you vs. volunteering information is a gift and skill most don't have. It's an omega-level mutant ability that must be harnessed and, its wielder must understand the responsibility and consequences of its misuse. Some people are naturally blacker and whiter, where others are more in the realm of grey. Everyone wants the truth to some degree, but where’s the line drawn? How much information is too much?

     Open communication is the only sure way to determine whether or not the person seeking truth requires a yes/no or an explanation/backstory. Volunteering information should always have thought behind it. Volunteering too much info at once or about a particular subject may be more damaging than helpful. Sometimes, volunteering too much or anything at all could be pointless and counterproductive; and harmful to your relationship.

     Some things just may not be your business because it involves a sensitive point in someone's past; they may not want to share or relive. Some things are best left in the dark because the person asked may already know the answer's going to cause a rift in the relationship or have some other adverse effect. One thing to remember is that just because you asked doesn't obligate an answer. It's really none of your business how many men or women your partners had sexually. In the grand scheme, why does it matter? Was it BEFORE you even met? Volunteering your sexual history is a bad thing to do as well; all you're doing is bragging, and it'll cost you sex for the night at the very least. Details of someone's sexual history, in general, is just a precursor to a potentially larger-scale issue down the line, so it's best to just leave this one alone.

     A reoccurring STD (Herpes, HPV) would be something to volunteer. When asked if you've ever had an STD like gonorrhea or syphilis, if it was ten years ago, just answer what's asked and move on. When asked if you've ever had multiple partners at the same time, Black and white, "Yes or No" is the right way to go; there's no point in a backstory. Has either of you ever cheated? Is that something you REALLY want to know?

     Wanting to know something and not getting an answer may not entirely be a bad thing; would you really want to open an emotional wound that your partner had to go through therapy to close the first time? The death of a loved one? A sexual assault? A service member's time in combat? An auto accident? Miscarriage? Divorce? These are all things that aren't important in the realm of the new relationship; curiosity is the main focus of these types of questions. Also, choosing the right time to ask something is just as important as the actual question asked, and the answer is given. Putting a person on the spot will prevent them from lying or having time to make something up might be what's going on in your head, but it could just be nothing more than they don't want to talk about it right then and there, and you'll accuse them of avoiding the subject. This tactic will almost always produce a defensive or defiant response and reaction from the both of you, turning a simple question into way more than it should've been in the first place. Sometimes, "Can we talk about this later?" is the best route to go.

     Some believe certain subjects are so important a face-to-face conversation is required; others can feel uncomfortable admitting or sharing information about themselves or their past when their partner's staring them in the face. It's easier for them to answer over the phone because they may want to share something emotional but avoid showing emotions or even crying in front of their partner.

     When do you go into depth about something? When you're asked to, plain and simple. When should you follow up on a question with an explanation? When you're asked. True, there are people who naturally feel the need to explain every answer with a backstory, but for some, that's fucking annoying, especially when you haven't even answered the question; your explanation's the answer, but all they wanted to be a YES or NO.

     Again, there will be those few subjects that are none of your business, no matter how much you believe you have a right to know. Just because you want to know doesn't mean they're going to tell you. As I said before, it could be something traumatic in that person's life or past they don't want to relive, or they know the answer's going to fuck your head up; the same will apply to someone wanting details past the YES or NO. The answer, history, or explanation behind it has nothing to do with anything going on in the present or the future. That's when you have to trust each other that leaving it where it's buried is the best for everyone involved. For example, if you've decided to forgive your spouse for being unfaithful, what does it matter what they did EXACTLY? What good would it do to the healing or reconciliation process to know the intricate details of their physical and sexual interaction? Who put what where? Whose mouth did what? The places, positions, etc.

     You know when to go into detail versus the black and white answer. Throw in volunteering, and the acceptance of things being better left unasked/answered, and you have a recipe for disaster if you don't have a strong foundation in communication. Accepting things that may not bare the best to bring up without the thought of deception is another. Sometimes it's just the wrong time to talk about it. You have to trust your partner that they have the best of the relationship in mind, and certain things may drive a wedge between the two of you instead of bringing you closer. Knowledge is power, but with power comes responsibility.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 30, 2020


- Minimum Wage is an employer's way of saying, "If I could, I'd pay you less, but it's against the fucking law!!"

- ALWAYS ensure you have ass paper in the stall before taking a shit in a public restroom.

- Three people you NEVER want to piss off; 1. The cop that pulls you over. 2. Your human resources representative who makes sure your timesheet/money is always accurate. 3. The waiter/waitress who has WAY too much time with your food behind those closed doors you can't see through.

- When eating out, sending food back to the kitchen is done at your own risk.

- If you come to the gym to text, keep your ass at home.

- The benches are for working out, not for keeping your fucking water bottle and iPhone off the floor.

- Parents of bullies are either bullies themselves or shitty fucking parents.

- Only about 15% of parents KNOW their kids are being bullied; about 5% of children will admit they're being bullied, even if asked directly.

- If you're 40 years old and STILL trying to be a rapper/entertainer... STOP!!! You're not going to make it.

- If you're the front office coordinator in a Dr. office, YOU ARE NOT IN THE FUCKING MEDICAL FIELD!!!

 You're an administrator, stop telling people you're in the medical profession!

- A woman is capable of five different types of ORGASMS; vaginal, clitoral, blended, exercise, and skin (Goosebumps). If you're unable to give your lady at least two of these regularly, you're the problem.

- If you and your lady wear the same size clothes, it's time for one or BOTH of you to frequent the gym.

- Contrary to what you may have heard or think, pronouncing the "ER" or "ING" at the end of a word isn't just, "A white thing."

- There's NOTHING cute, funny, or endearing about shoving/smearing cake in the face of your new husband; the only reason a woman would do this would be to humiliate him in front of his family, friends, and guests.

- When calling a black man, "Brother" or "Bro," we can tell when it's not a normal part of your vocabulary, and you sound fucking silly. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 15, 2020


     We know it's not part of your normal vocabulary; we we can tell by the nervous, unsure look on your face and hear it in your voice when you use it.

     Is it for our benefit? Are you trying to relate to, show solidarity, or prove your acceptance of all people, regardless of race or ethnicity? Or is it just a failed attempt to sound cool? Are you trying to be a smartass?

     Do people realize we can tell when they're using the word "Brother" or "Bro" just because of who they're around or talking directly to? Definitely not specifically limited to whites speaking in reference to blacks, it crosses pretty much every ethnic line. Still, it's also much more practiced and noticeable when black men are the intended recipient. Some black people sound just as awkward and ridiculous. Are you trying to relate to some non-existent ideas? Are you trying to make amends or a symbolic apology for slavery subconsciously? Or are you showing your stand on your view of the unfair treatment of all who are considered a minority in this country? What's the real goal of looking like a squirrel with an acorn in its mouth, looking around, trying to figure out where that cracking branch sound came from?

     Are you trying to be or look cool? Do you say it out of habit, or because others around you do it? Is it as simple as trying to sound like your friends or people you WANT to be friends with? It's not who you are, and it's not how you usually speak. Not just when it comes to, "Bro," but slang in general. Monday morning through Friday afternoon, you speak as if you're giving a presentation to the chairman of the board. Still, on the weekends, you're the foremost expert in popular culture vocabulary. Everyone who knows you knows you don't speak that way, and they're looking at you like, "What the hell? Who are you?"

     It's just not who you are; it's no less ridiculous when you hear people use the word, "Dude."

"Brother" or "Bro" can also be used and taken sarcastically and or in a condescending manner when in conversation with someone, trying to make a point or prove they're superiority. It's all about the tone and the intent that makes the difference. Hearing it day in and day out is annoying. It doesn't make you a member of the club. It's not a race or ethnic issue in any way; it's your sound dumb as fuck thing, and you're trying too hard to be accepted into a particular group. It doesn't guarantee you a slot into any social circle, and most people are sick of hearing it.

     It's not a compliment or term of masculine endearment; it's a weak attempt to show something they can't even identify for themselves. It's a poor attempt to show support for a person's race, especially when that person of a particular color is the only person you use that phrase too. If black men are the only people you refer to as "Brother," you're insulting the hell out of him. You're singling him out because of his race, thinking he deserves or needs to be reminded of what his skin color is and how he's viewed in the eyes of society when he just wants to fit in and be considered to be in an equal. "Bro" makes that hard, especially when you say it in front of other people; you're bringing more attention to his/her ethnicity and race than if you had said nothing.

     It's the same as referring to a black woman as a "Sista." All Latino women aren't, "Chica"; and so forth. When all else fails, just leave the identifiers in your pocket and be yourself. You'll be judged more when you use qualifiers and identifiers to show your desire to fit in. "Bruh" and, "Brah" is even worse; why would any man answer or respond to anything that remotely sounds like the name of a woman's undergarment? "Bro's before hoes" is the pinnacle of dumb-ass things to say, while trying to be cool. Be yourself; stop trying to fit in. We know that's not you talk, so don't be pissed if some people take it as you making fun of them, based on the same reason you're using the phrase; their race.  


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 08, 2020


     Most people rush for one of three main purposes; to get somewhere, they really don't want to go or be in the first place, someplace they should've taken their time and much longer to get to and to go or do absolutely nothing special. Some people rush and are in a hurry out of impatience. Whether excitement. They're so excited to get somewhere, the anticipation of arrival is so overwhelming, or their entitlement makes them feel as if where they have to go is more important than anyone else on the road, in the air or even in the water.

     Why are we in such a rush to grow up? As children, we have this magically fantastic idea that life will be so much easier and fun when we don't have to listen to our parents anymore. No more early bedtimes, we can eat junk food whenever we want, we can watch porn, drink, drive, do whatever we desire. We have everything planned for when we grew up; we're an unstoppable force, nothing's going to shackles us again, and we're going make our own rules. Then real life gives us a running soccer-style front kick, right to the balls.

- HABIT - We're in a hurry out of habit. We're used to always being on the go, and we just don't know how or when to slow things down, take our time, and enjoy anything on the way to where we're going. Literally or metaphorically, we can't/won't stop to enjoy the sites or experience of our journey. A habit has us running in circles or flying down the highway. We couldn't slow down even if we wanted to, not without someone grabbing us by the collar and holding us down. We make excuses as to why we're in a rush. You'll justify your speeding ticket because "Everyone else was going 10-15 miles an hour faster". Why were YOU singled out?

- TIME MANAGEMENT - We're the kings and queens of the "Snooze" button. We're in a hurry because we're always waiting until the last minute to wake up, get in the shower, get dressed, or to walk out the door. We want to walk in right when we're SUPPOSED to be there. We have to be at work by 8; we're running up the stairs and to the time clock at 7:58. Being early seems like a waste when you can stay in bed for just a few more minutes. Getting to the bar/club 10 minutes faster to get that first drink or to scope out the action has us hauling ass. We're in a hurry because we don't want to be standing around, waiting; we want everyone to wait on us. You're weaving in and out of traffic without the slightest thought to using your signal, and most of the time, you're in a ridiculous hurry to get nowhere special or somewhere you don't want to be anyway.

- FEEL LIKES YOU'RE WASTING TIME - If we're not rushing, we feel like we're wasting time. Being in a hurry validates our place in our little slice of the world.

- AVOIDANCE (ESCAPE) - People rush to avoid dealing with things that may be difficult. Piling on or jumping from one thing to another deflects attention, possible pain, or taking responsibility. People are in a hurry to escape a situation they may be caught in the middle. Rushing!

- FEAR - We rush in fear of being late, completing work/home projects. We're afraid if we don't hurry, we'll miss out on something that may not even be there or come to us at all.

- FEEL/APPEAR MORE IMPORTANT - To avoid judgment. A sense of accomplishment. The thrill of always being on the go; to give yourself and those around you the sense that you're present in any environment is more important than anyone else's. In the workplace, we'll rush to make ourselves appear more important or indispensable to the company.

- BUSY - We just HAVE to be doing something. We'll take on more than what we can handle just to be on the go. We rush, so no one questions our efforts. We don't want to be seen as lazy or not pulling our weight, so we rush and rush, a good portion of the time causing more problems than if we'd taken our time and done things slower and correctly. The fact that we finished first but incorrectly means more than finishing in the average amount of time and having it done right. We don't want to be seen as "Slackers."

- SELF-WORTH/GUILT - We're scared of what others will think of us if we're not in a rush. Our value comes from how others see them, and we see us hauling ass from task to task. We feel guilty if we're not in a hurry. We relate our self-worth to our achievements and success. What better way to prove ourselves than to be seen going and going.

- COMPETITION - We rush to finish first. We HAVE to finish first. It's important for us to finish first. Our self-worth is dependent on being in the top percentage of finishers, whether done correctly or not.

- CONTROL - We feel as if we're not rushing, we'll get passed over by everyone around us. If we don't do everything ourselves and do it fast, life will fall apart.

- LAZY - We rush because we waited until the last minute to get started, and the deadline's coming up before we know it. It's easier for us to rush out of muscle memory and habit than to slow down and put thought into what we're doing. Rushing lets us move on auto-pilot instead of putting actual thought into what's going on around us and what we're doing.

- PRESSURE - We take on so much to be liked by so many people, we have to rush to get everything done; we rush to make everything we take on seem easy for us to sail through. We rush out of pressure to perform and deliver results. We rush out of pressure to please others.

- FALSE PERCEPTION - We hurry and rush through things because we feel there's something better for us as soon as we get through whatever's in front of us at the moment. The grass is seen as being greener on the other side. But we have to get through the grass we're standing in at the moment.

- IMPATIENCE - We rush because we want to get through something to move on to something else because we feel as if we get wrapped up in something for too long; we'll get bored, or others will see us as wasting time.

- TO GET THROUGH SOMETHING - Wanting to get something over with, such as sex, an uncomfortable conversation, subject, or action.

     For whatever reason, we're in a hurry, most likely it's because we're focused on ourselves and for selfish reasons. A speedy completion or solution isn't always the best, and the chances of causing more issues and damage than if we took our time is almost always a probability if not a certainty. Slow down, take your time, and you'll not only get through it, but you'll reduce the chances of any accidents. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 01, 2020


     You did or said something mildly offensive or something that bothered your significant other. They caught you red-handed in the cookie jar and, it wasn't that big a deal. At worst, you spend a half-hour to a day in the doghouse for what you did, but instead of just taking your lumps, you decided to make shit worse by either lying about it or trying to bullshit your way out of trouble entirely.

     You got busted doing something that didn't seem like a big deal to you, but it was someone else. It never occurred to you how someone else took what you said or did until they said something to you about it. Again, instead of admitting what you did, apologizing for it, and taking your lumps, you decided to either lie about it or tried to talk your way out. The sad part is what you did wasn't even that bad, but you made it worse by lying about it. You compounded the situation by trying to talk your way out of it, which is going to irritate the fuck out of the person you offended.

     You got caught checking some woman out at the store or the club, and instead of reassuring your lady that other woman doesn't hold a candle to her, you'll lie and tell her you weren't even looking or you'll play stupid and ask, "What girl?" You know you got caught, and your lady knows you're guilty, so why not just accept you're not getting any ass tonight, and by tomorrow, the whole incident probably would be forgotten, or at least you could come back and redeem yourself. Instead, you decided to lie about it altogether, or you think you're smart enough to talk your way out of trouble.

     Instead of admitting the guy/girl who keeps looking at you is an ex, someone you dated a long time ago or during the three months you and your partner were broken up. They could be just someone you know from the bar, the gym, work, etc. You'll lie and say you have no idea who they are or why they're looking at you, or you'll make up some shit about how they like you, but never did anything with them. Irritated that this seemingly random person keeps looking at you or your partner, the rest of your night's fucked. You'll be watching your partner, watching that other person who's watching you trying not to watch them looking at you, all the while, trying not to get caught watching that other person by your partner.

     Then the worst happens; that other person walks over and says hello and introduced themselves as a co-worker, your partner's personal trainer, or someone they know from somewhere else. Now you're a liar, and you've given your partner a reason to be pissed and to question you; all because you didn't want to admit you knew them. Their newfound mistrust in you was initiated by your doing.

     The same goes for women; she went out on Saturday night with her friends and told you she'd be home by midnight. Strolling in shortly after 1 AM, instead of just admitting she was having fun and lost track of time, she told you the car wouldn't start, or she had to take someone home who was drunk. Even worse, she'll remind you of the last time you went out and didn't come home when you said you would either.

     The issue isn't mistrust; the problem is, instead of admitting the truth, you chose to make things worse by lying or trying to talk your way out. Your lie unraveled, and NOW there's mistrust. You're wondering what she was REALLY doing when she was out that made her lie about it. You pissed her off and insulted her by thinking you could talk your way out of trouble when all you had to do was tell precisely what happened. You weren't even checking out that girl; you were trying to see if her jersey was an authentic or cheap replica because it's your favorite team, and your lady was trying to see what type of sneakers he had on because she knows you like that brand. All you had to do was say that. But NO, you had to make up some bullshit, and now you're in hotter water.


     Just be upfront; you got caught, even if you were checking someone else out. If you lost track of time and came home later than you said you would own up to it. Whatever the infraction, don't make it worse by adding bullshit or mistrust into the mix. And don't even think about deflecting the blame to the other person, trying to make them feel guilty of being suspicious; that'll make things even worse. In the end, not only will you have to make amends for what you did, you may have a long road to forgiveness for making a molehill into a mountain. You have no one to blame but yourself.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


FEB 02, 2020


     We just couldn't wait to get old enough to leave home; now that time has come and gone, and you're in your late 20's to early '30s, still living in the basement, or just down the street from where you were born or grew up. Especially when living in a small town, it may seem like the perfect place to raise a family, create a life, and grow old. However, that doesn't leave you with much life experience to pass on to the children you want to have or even make you remotely interesting to any woman outside of the place you live. You have to leave home; you have to get away from your hometown, at least temporarily.

     College. Military. Overseas volunteer work. You can always come back, but at least you left and discovered something about yourself and the world around you. There are actually people in their late 40s-50s who've never left the comfort of the city or neighborhood they were conceived in. They live down the street from their grammar school, work 2 blocks away from their parents' home, and hang out at the exact same bowling alley they did when they were younger.

     Leaving home will give you a sense of true independence. Breaking the comfort zone and being your own person. You put yourself in the position to solve your own problems; no more mom and dad are bailing you out. Along with independence comes unrealized freedom. Freedom to make choices for yourself based on your individuality. Freedom for yourself and your parents; they did their job, now it's time for them to enjoy being together and reap the benefits of their hard work and raising their children. Leaving home will increase social confidence; it'll give you the ability to approach others and initiate relationships, both professional and personal. Money management skills. Learning to prioritize and accept responsibility for your purchases.

     Leaving home instills the realization of your inner strength and capabilities. Leaving home increases your sense of accomplishment when you achieve your goals. You learn self-reliance.



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