Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


AUG 14, 2022


      You think they’re hiding something, but they’re not; they don’t like having people show up to their place or job unannounced or without prior notice. Some people don’t like having guests out of the blue without calling their partner or spouse. It might not be taken well if their man or lady swings by their job. It just doesn’t apply to you as their man or lady, it applies to everyone they know, and everyone but you respects it. They’re not trying to be suspicious or doing anything wrong, but some people would have an issue with you showing up where they are with their friends; it gives the impression you might have problems of trust, and you might be doing something dirty behind their back.

      You’re asking what the big deal is if they’re genuinely not doing anything wrong; they shouldn’t have any problems with you showing up or at their place without calling if they’re truly innocent. But, of course, they could ask you the same thing; why you can’t call or text before you come over so they don’t think you’re trying to accuse or catch them doing anything when they aren’t doing anything.

      If you’ve been caught cheating or doing something you shouldn’t have that resulted in mistrust, that’s on you, and you’re stuck in a situation you made for yourself. If you haven’t given your partner any reason to think you’re doing wrong, you have every right to ask them to call beforehand. However, you’re on a short leash, and you’ll have to expect and deal with surprise visits and inspections to ensure you’re where you are, and with whom you say you’re with.

      Sometimes it’s going to happen, though; you’re in the neighborhood, and you want to swing by and say hello or visit, and that’s okay, but some people were raised to call or notice they’re coming over. It doesn’t mean someone’s being dirty or dishonest; if you have that type of mistrust in your relationship, something deeper needs to be addressed.

      Sending a text or calling ahead of time takes just a few minutes, which could prevent some crazy shit from going down. For example, you’re sick, and someone wants to bring you soup, cough drops, or meds. You’re an opposite-sex friend who’s never dated or done anything physical, but you show up unannounced, and their man or lady is already there; try explaining that shit.

      Had you called first, you would’ve known it wasn’t a good time to visit, even though you’re just friends. Especially if you’re a friend that causes self-image or confidence issues in their relationship, the last thing you should be doing is showing up at their lover’s door, much less without prior notice.

      You can’t get mad when you show up at someone’s job, wanting to take them to lunch, and they can’t or don’t see the purpose in going. If you’re in the area and want to surprise each other with an impromptu lunch, pick something up before you get to them. They only get a certain amount of time, and by the time you get to where you’re going and order your food, it’s time for them to go back to work without time even to eat. It would make more sense if you showed up with lunch. They could not be in a place to stop and go when you get there. They could’ve already gone early or had lunch brought in. Had you made a phone call or prior planning, they could’ve either worked things out to where they could go or told you it wasn’t a good day.

      Surprise visits are a typical action when you’re in a relationship. If they have a key, you’re permitted to come over uninvited, without prior notice, and accept they’re probably not going to call you when they’re on their way or coming to see you. Unless they’re stopping off somewhere on the way and want to know if you need anything, you might think it’s rude or shady for someone to ask you not to appear on their doorstep, but it’s not about you; that’s not how they were raised. They were always taught to call or not show up unannounced because that’s how their parents were and taught them.

      To some people, when their significant other shows up, it gives the impression of suspicion on both sides. The person showing up wants to know why they should or have to call first, and the other thinks the reason for the unannounced visits is more of an investigation or inspection for evidence of some dirty shit they aren’t guilty of. You both have valid points, so you need to talk about that early on in your relationship, possibly even before starting one.

      It’s not about keeping you locked out or hiding anything; they could be sick, tired, angry, in a bad mood, etc., and they’re just not up for company. They could be working on something and don’t want to be disturbed, interrupted, or distracted. They could be on their way out the door. You’re so hell-bent on thinking the worst, wondering what they’re hiding instead of showing understanding or consideration. On the other hand, how you deal with it also tells a lot about what impression you’re giving. If you refuse to see each other’s point of view, you’re accusing each other of having trust issues, or you’re fighting for control.

      One of you feels disrespected because your simple request isn’t being taken seriously, and the other won’t be made a fool of, or they think since you’re in a relationship, they have a right to ignore the requests they don’t like or agree with. What they’re asking for applies to their friends, not you.

      You’re pissed because this is your man or your lady; you’ve been together for ten months, and you should be able to come over anytime you feel like it without calling, and if you can’t, there’s something wrong. On the other hand, you’ve been together for 2-3 years, and there should be no reason for you to call beforehand. Maybe they need you to pick something up on your way over. Perhaps they’re planning something for you, and you’re knocking on the door in the middle of his planning a marriage proposal, or she’s organizing your surprise birthday party. No matter how long you’ve been together or what rights you believe you have, it’s not your house you’re on your way to; it belongs to someone else, and if they ask you not to come over unannounced, that’s their right to do so. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JUL 31, 2022


      You can’t have one without the opposite; there’s no light without the dark. There’s no heat without cold; sweet versus sour or wet and dryness also goes for people. As nice, respectful, and polite people are, they have that much evil in them to balance it out. You can’t have one without the other, as with everything else in life. Their great attitude, winning personality, and generosity have the same amount of fuel-driven vengeance, hatred, malice, and horror inside if you bring it out of them. You might think someone’s just nice and upbeat all the damn time, and they are, for the most part; but make no mistake, a beast lurks around somewhere in their soul.

      For as nice as they are, it’s not a good idea to get on the wrong side of someone who’s always helpful, dependable, and well-liked because if you cross them, you’ll deal with every inch of what they have stored in their subconscious, not just in response for you did. Still, for all the shit they’ve taken while keeping a smile on their face and maintaining their cheerful attitude.

      You think they’re always optimistic, but they get just as angry, frustrated, annoyed, and irritated as anyone and everyone else, but they’re better at hiding and suppressing it. They’ve become masters at keeping shit buried deep inside, and people have taken advantage of that for a long time. On the outside, nothing seems to phase them or bring them down; nothing seems to ruin their mood, but you only see what they want you to see because they know the dragon that sleeps within them.

      They’re always forgiving, but everything you do goes into a file in their minds. They’ve built a case against you and are allowing you more than enough rope to hang yourself. Then, when the time comes, there’s nothing you can do to defend or excuse yourself. You may be able to talk your way out of a few things, but by the time they’ve unleashed their wrath on you, there’s more than enough to bury up to your neck and run your face over with a lawnmower.

      You haven’t seen their Kraken, but it’s there. They’re just really good at keeping it behind closed doors. It will come out sooner or later, and you don’t want to be anywhere in the area when it does, even if you haven’t done anything to provoke them. You’re not only going to pay for what you did or said or at that time, but for all the shit they’ve dealt with from you for as long as they’ve known you. For all the garbage they took from everyone without a word, they haven’t forgotten about it, and when it comes out, it will be an extinction-level event.

      To take someone who’s always nice and piss them off will also put you in bad graces with everyone who knows and likes them. People will hate you because you did their favorite person wrong. You just damaged the one person others could count on, the one who was there for them when no one else was, and there’s a moral obligation to friendship or debt to pay.

     The nice person may forgive you; they may overlook your stupidity or disrespect, but someone else will tell you about yourself or beat the shit out of you. Once you’ve released someone’s inner demon, you’ll also have to deal with others. You’ve burned more than one bridge by burning one bridge with your bullshit. They’re not the same person they were before, and people will hate you for turning the best person they know into a monster or causing pain.

      For all the bullshit you put someone through, and they take it, there’s another notch in the bedpost, and those notches add up. These are not people who fly off the handle at every little thing; you’ve cut the chains to a pack of rabid wolves held back by the sweet song of the fairies, and you came by and gave them all sore throats nasty colds.

      The nicer, more docile, and non-confrontational someone is, the deeper the horror they have inside them. They can ignore you or laugh you off most of the time, but you’ll catch them at the wrong time or place, and everything will come to a standstill. Their average angelfish mentality and attitude will quickly turn them into a bull shark or a great white; you can mess up bad and get the full bite from a Megalodon without prejudice.

      Pure evil stalks their inner core, and they know it; that’s why they’re so bubbly and positive; to offset the demon they have banging on the other side of their flower-laden gates trying to get out. So for the volume of good vibes they give off, incredibly buoyant and friendly people are possessed by an ancient evil you couldn’t predict, and they can’t put it back once it comes out.

      The more excellent they are, the more sinister they can get. The more helpful and generous they are, the more destruction they can cause. The more they put up with, the more they can dish out violence and vengeance. So you mess around and cheat on a man or woman who’s been putting up with your bullshit for so long and watch how they use anything at their disposal to rain down karma and vengeance.

      They’re the great person you think they are until they reach their limit. He’s a fantastic guy, or she’s an angel of a woman, the best friend or relationship partner a person could ever ask for, but she’s also the queen or ruin, and he’s the harbinger of death if you get on their wrong side. They have so much more malice and evil inside of them because it takes so much more to bring it out of them.

      You think you’re slick and getting away with shit; think again. You think you’re going to be able to keep doing what you’re doing, and you’re either too smart to get caught, or they’re just going to keep taking shit from you, but you’re sadly mistaken. After all, they’ve taken from you for as long as you’ve been dishing it out; they know more than enough about you to break you to your very essence. You’ve given them all the personal information and power they need to decimate you to a cellular level. Their evil is a glacier; for what’s on the surface, there’s five times more wicked under the surface, which will sink your ship.

      They don’t even have to be a friend; it’s the person you use or take advantage of. They’re the ass-end of your jokes; the co-worker or classmate you bully regularly will put up your shit for years, but when they’ve had enough, they know how to hurt you, and they will, with extreme prejudice and without pause.

      When they finally show their dark side, it’ll take everyone by surprise, but most won’t be surprised when it does come out. It was only a matter of time before they exploded, and the people closest to them had seen it coming for a while; they were surprised it took so long. Their wrath will be loud, violent, and physical. The person who drove that final nail in the coffin won’t get the total weight of what’s been built up if what they did was an isolated incident, but it will be more than what they deserve.

      You should be pissed at the construction crew building the tower of hate in your favorite person. But, instead, the people you should be mad at are those who’s been feeding the monster living within the one person you never thought had an evil bone in their body. You know who they are, but you didn’t want to get involved, and that’s why you’re paying for more than what you did, even if all you did was keep information to yourself to avoid getting involved.

      For every ounce of light they have and show you, there’s an equal amount of darkness you want to stay out of. But, for all the sugar and spice, fire and brimstone are waiting for you. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JUN 06, 2022


      There’s no such thing as changing your habits out of nowhere and avoiding suspicion; once you’ve made a change, you will have to explain and account for where the motivation for the change or improvement came from. Even if you made the change because they asked you to, you’d have a minimal window to claim you did it because your spouse or partner brought it up to you instead of doing it for some other reason. Especially if you refused to listen to them the first time they talked to you about it, and you dismissed them.

      If you were going to change or improve, you would’ve done it when they brought it up the first time; you wouldn’t have resisted. You’re trying to explain you were defiant and argumentative because of how they brought it to you, but that’s bullshit to their ears. You wouldn’t have argued or defended yourself or taken so long to step up and make the change if you wanted to do it for them. In their mind, your sudden change is because of that guy at your job, or you went eyeball apeshit at all the women at the gym when you reluctantly went with them that first time.

      Like an NYE resolution made at the beginning of October, you’ll fail, or it’ll be temporary because if you wanted to make the change, you wouldn’t have to wait until the beginning of the new year; you’d start ASAP. The same goes for making changes to improve your relationship; if you wanted to improve things, you wouldn’t have put up such a fight or waited so long. So in your partner’s eyes, there’s another reason you finally stepped up.

      You’re trying to convince your spouse or partner that you realized they weren’t asking for much, and you were being dismissive and selfish. You apologized, and they accepted, but they’ll still question why you’re making the change now when you didn’t want to the first five times they spoke with you about it. You’re going to have a tough time making any story believable. Changes you make after you’ve ignored each other for so long will make you look suspicious.

You’re changing or doing something different for someone else. “Just because.” won’t work. There’s another reason you got off your ass.

      You’re well past the grace period they gave you to make the change for your relationship. You wouldn’t do what they asked to save your relationship, but you’re doing it now that you’re single or with someone else. You wouldn’t lose weight to keep your man or lady’s eyes from wandering when you were together, but now you’re single, hitting the gym five times a week.

You figured if they’re asking you to upgrade yourself, it’s a reflection of their lack of love for you, not your health or maturity. So if you’re asked to improve, you’re taking it as them trying to change you or tell you they’re not happy with you the way you are, and that’s EXACTLY what they’re telling you! If they were happy and things were working smoothly, they wouldn’t have anything to bring up.

      You can love them, but something is missing you’re trying to get back. You feel like they’re criticizing or unhappy with you, and your defending line will be, “You should love me, no matter what!” Love has nothing to do with it; it has to do with wanting what’s best for you; they want to improve the communication or the sex. Your intimacy has become stagnant, and it’s time to raise the bar physically, mentally, or emotionally. They aren’t telling you to do something on your own; they want to share something with you, whether it’s spending more time together, upgrading your wardrobe, or changing up and trying new sexual activities.

      Most sudden changes or upgrades in your will are questioned. There’s no coming out unexpectedly with new sex positions, places, or the sudden fascination or fetish from out in the left field. There’s no reason you’re going to be able to give that’s going get you out of that doghouse. Your only ally or safety net is the very small opportunity they give you during the heat of the moment that will work in your favor. When they’re asking for an improvement or change, they ask for it at once; the next day’s too late.

      It’s not easy to persuade your partner that you decided to elevate or improve without warning or discussion. You will have to produce something better than a moment of clarity or wisdom. You can’t make improvements without a good reason after a certain amount of time, and that reason had better not involve anyone else. The last thing you want is to be with your partner and have someone else point out your improvements; that’ll be the reason you made them in the first place.

      Please don’t come home and tell your partner you decided to make a change they’ve been asking for because your friends commented on it. Don’t tell your lady the guys started making fun of your belly, so you will begin to work out when she asks you to work out with her for the last five months! Don’t go home and tell your man you’re going to start wearing more skirts and dresses because her friends told her how good she looked or other men were hitting on her left and right, making her feel confident.

      Not just when it comes to direct personal or physical changes or improvements; anything done socially or professionally will be equally scrutinized and questioned. Improvements are just as suspicious as if you just started going in downhill. Going from a clean-cut shirt & tie to a full beard, jeans and t-shirt will also cause your partner to question the sudden change. Likewise, your sudden interest in getting a motorcycle will raise an eyebrow.

      A woman goes from dressing like a soccer mom who only goes out on special occasions to hanging out with her girlfriends 5-6 times a month, spending 2 hours getting ready, and wearing short, low-cut tops and dresses will get her man riled the hell up if he’s been asking her for that over the past year and a half. He’s going to wonder what happened during girls’ night out or happy hour last night or last week that’s brought you out of your shell and made you want to be more social.

      You’re both going to have a hell of a time explaining to the other that it’s nothing else to explain except realizing how much it meant to them and that what they were asking for wasn’t as bad as you thought. But, unfortunately, that doesn’t carry enough strength to shake the monkey of suspicion off your back!

      You’d better be ready to back up anything you’re doing or the reason you give for your changes besides finally understanding and seeing the error of your ways; that’s not going to be good enough when you refused to listen for so long. When you thought there was nothing wrong with the way you looked, dressed, or acted when you went out together, you’re not going to convince anyone you’re making changes just for them; if that were the case, you would’ve done it sooner.

      You started making changes because someone else suggested it, which will piss your man or your lady off. You can’t tell the truth, and you don’t know them another person or even their friends made you see the light. You’re stuck between a wall of solid marble and granite.

      Your window is gradually closing every time they bring it up. Still, to you, they gave you an ultimatum without enough time to make payment arrangements between the final shutoff notice and your window slamming shut.

      They’re asking for an improvement or upgrade, but you’re accusing them of trying to change you because you don’t know the difference. You’re used to who you are and why you do things. Why should you change when they’re the one with the issue? You’re not ready for the same type of relationship because you’re still holding on to much of your bachelor’s or bachelorette identity. No one wants to change you, and anyone who does isn’t happy with you; they dealt with you because of the new car smell of starting a new relationship.

      You need to upgrade; everyone sees it but you, and you fought it. Then something happened that opened your eyes, and you decided to change. Whatever that reason is, admit it; openly and honestly. If you want to work out now because you want to be more attractive, say so. If you’re stepping up your wardrobe, wearing cologne or perfume, or even changing the scent of your body because someone told you smelled good, say so. Don’t lie or bullshit; you’ll cause suspicion to rain down on your relationship like $1 bills on the backside of the stripper with the biggest booty in the club. You’ll look like an asshole, but at least you’ll be an honest one.

      You can’t see something you think might look good on you or try something new just because you saw it on TV or someone else with it; good luck convincing each other of that. Whatever you do, whatever improvements or changes you make after the fact will get you slammed under a microscope, and you’re going to have to account for where it came from. So be honest, but don’t be stupid either.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAY 22, 2022


      Yeah, they're stupid for getting involved with you in the first place and setting themselves up to get heartbroken, but it's ultimately your fault because you're the one who's married or in the relationship. It's your responsibility to do the right thing and make the right choice. You don't get to entirely blame someone else for choosing to spend time with you, sleep with you, or develop feelings for you, knowing your situation and circumstances. You knew what you were doing, and the road you were on led nowhere but to a dead end.

      If you're single and have no long-term interest in someone, you shouldn't make them think something different through your actions. You've done the right and honorable thing by coming clean when you told them you didn't want a relationship and gave them a choice to continue spending time together. Your mouth says you don't want to get serious, but you're going out together 2-3 nights a week, wishing them good morning and night, or exchanging texts all damn day long. You're sleeping together, but you're also spending the night. You should've known something was getting twisted when they offered you a key. You've met their kids and friends and even celebrated holiday events with their family; that's not the shit you should be doing when you don't want to be in a relationship.

      You think you're free to do whatever, just because you told them, in the beginning, you were with someone else or weren't looking for anything serious, but you're not acting like it. You're playing a dangerous game where you think you're safe because you warned them beforehand. They told you they were grown and could take care of themselves, but you're still doing shit that could and would give the average person another impression of what you really want. Your mouth might be saying, "Nothing serious," but everything about what you're doing says you're trying to attract them into a relationship.

      You don't get to bail and feel like you didn't do anything wrong because you told them you weren't interested in anything serious. You're not off the hook because you did the honorable thing and spoke up, then turned around and screwed their head sideways by the shit you're doing that contradicts everything you said. You may not be a stereotypical player, but you're doing player shit.

      You can think and say it's their fault for getting attached, but you're doing attachment-type shit. Their friends and family comment on how they won't shut up about how great a person you are or how glad they are the two of you met; you're welcomed in with open arms. You're buying gifts or taking care of them when they're sick. You took them to their favorite place for their birthday or did something extra special for Valentine's Day. You're coming over, spending time around their children, and you're not that damn dumb to say you couldn't tell those kids were getting attached to you. You know what you're doing; how the hell are you going to say to a kid not to get attached?

      On the one hand, you're saying you don't want more, but you're doing shit that made them comfortable enough to introduce you to their kids. Even though they were dumb enough to get that attached to you, knowing what you told them, you still hold some responsibility to be the voice of reason when you realize things are going past where you wanted them to. On the other hand, you're hanging out with your friends and family because that's what it takes to continue having sex, and it's being misinterpreted. You're sending the wrong signals, and you don't see anything wrong with it because you told them, in the beginning, you wanted nothing serious, and you think you're off the hook.

      You don't get to clear your conscious just because you warned them ahead of time when you're doing shit you shouldn't. It's bad enough you're messing around behind someone else's back, but you're also messing with someone else's head right in front of you. It doesn't matter that you told someone you weren't available to them for whatever reason; if that's the case, then you're still an asshole for getting their hopes up by the shit you're doing or allowing to happen, thinking you're okay because you told them from the beginning.

      Suppose you're looking for something temporary or a periodic sex partner. In that case, it's natural to put your best foot forward and give the impression that you're a better person than you are or look for something more substantial and meaningful. If you're acting like you want a relationship and making them feel like they're the only one you're seeing, you're a player. On the other hand, if you're upfront about what you're looking for and they still decide to go forward, you may not be a player, but you're playing games when you're leading them on with the shit you're doing.

      There's a special section in hell for you when you're playing with someone's emotions when you know things are getting serious, but you don't want to give up what you're getting out of your situation, whether sexual, professional, or financial. If you need something down the line, you're keeping them on the line, but you think you have a better chance of getting it if you're more than friends but less than a couple. If you're telling them you're not available to give them what they're looking for, stop and think about what you're saying versus what you're doing, and I'll bet they don't match.

      You're not innocent; you're not a victim. You're messing around when you're in a relationship, and you're messing around with someone who wants a relationship with you. If you're single, you're giving the impression that even though you told them you're not looking for anything serious, the shit you're doing together is telling them otherwise. If you told them they were temporary or just looking for a hookup when you're available or can't find anything else or better, they'd say to you to go to hell, and you can't have that.

      Even if they know you're married or in a relationship and accept it, they'll never be prepared to see you and your spouse or partner together. They'll see you in the same light as they would if they caught you cheating because they just realized that you are, married or in a relationship, and it's not just words. The reality of your situation and the dynamic of the relationship between you and that other person just hit them like a ton of bricks.

      You're both at fault; even though you're the one who has more at stake, more to lose, and should've been more responsible because you're the one in the relationship, you're the unavailable one, and you're doing relationship shit with someone else. They're giving you the opportunity and availability to damage your relationship, but it's still up to you to do the right thing. Telling them your situation doesn't excuse you from guilt, shame, or punishment when you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place when you have to go back and tell your partner you're pregnant or impregnated someone else. You have to explain to your spouse they have to get checked because the person you messed around with ended up with an STD, or you have to explain the antibiotics they found in your gym bag or briefcase.

      You did the right thing when you were honest about your intentions and boundaries, but you're wrong with your actions and behavior. How did you think things would go when you said something once initially, but you did the opposite day in and day out?

      How did you not think what you were doing didn't match your words? How long did you expect to be friends with benefits or just friends when you're doing what people who are developing a relationship are doing? Telling them, you're not trying to get attached doesn't give you a clean slate to act like you're together when that's not what you want. If that's not what you want, stop acting like it; stop doing shit that'll make people think you changed your mind. Just stop!


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


APR 17, 2022


      When you’re caught cheating, the initial shock is why they’re pissed at you. You can’t anticipate the magnitude or prepare for the collateral damage from the shockwave of any high-yield detonation in your relationship. They caught you doing something with someone else that you should only be doing with them, and here you are, doing it with somebody else. Typically, they aren’t the argumentative type, or they told you if they ever caught you cheating. They’d walk away right after letting you know they caught you red-handed, but they went for the throat and your skull when they found themselves in the situation. Here’s why.

      YOU HUMILIATED THEM - You made a fool of them; in the face of their friends, family, kids, and everyone who knows or seen you together semi-regularly. They can’t go to some of their favorite places anymore because you’re going to walk in by yourself, and people will ask where your “Other half” is. Other women don’t give you a chance because they feel obligated not to mess with you, even though they don’t know you or your ex, but they’ll enact an extended “Girl-code” clause to avoid any potential confrontations.

      You made them feel stupid as hell for trusting you and defending you. They’re starting to replay all the shit that put their red flags at half-mast, but you were able to talk your way out of it or convince them they were being paranoid. They hate you because they made themselves feel like shit for letting you into their lives, and you mixed their shit up like ingredients for a chocolate cake. They bragged about how great a person you were and how you’d never do anything to hurt them. They feel like a fool for not seeing the warning signs and talking you up to whoever would listen. They have to go back and tell people they were praising you that you’re no longer together and why.

      You were going out, and everyone knew you were together, but they also knew you were going out with someone else, so when you’re caught, and they find out they’re the only one who didn’t know they were being the fool, that’s going to piss that other person off like no other.

      YOU BROKE THEIR HEART AND TRUST – They gave you something that means so much to them, their heart and trust. They opened their home, lives, children, and family to you. They served everything they had emotionally and physically to you on a silver platter and offered themselves unconditionally; all they asked for in return was for you not to hurt them, and that’s precisely what you did at the first opportunity to cheat. They gave you way too much of themselves when their friends told them you were no good, but they defended you with every inch of who they are. They lost friends because of you. They thought they knew you and you’d never do anything to hurt them. They made sacrifices for your relationship, did without things, and gave their last to you. They helped you when no one else would or brought you up from the gutter and cleaned you off. They made so many sacrifices for you and your relationship, and you stomped on them.

      You made it hard for them to trust anyone after you. The following person they meet could be the one, but because of your betrayal, they can’t give that person a fair chance because they’re still damaged. You screwed them up so bad that no one can get past their guard, and sooner or later, that good person will give up and find someone else, and it’s all your fault.

      YOU DAMAGED THEIR HEARTS – The heartbreak alone is enough to understand why someone’s pissed off at you for cheating. The shockwave ripped them from the inside out. You broke them down to their brake pads and left their hearts sitting on cinder blocks in their front yard.

      YOU DAMAGED THEIR KIDS – Their kids got attached to you, and now they have to explain why you’re not coming around anymore. If they’re older, the kids will have an easier time understanding and rebounding. Smaller children cannot do this because they don’t understand cheating or breaking up; they know you’re not coming around anymore, and they may blame themselves. You’re giving their children severe abandonment issues or a shitty impression when you’re jumping in and out of their lives every few months when you hit a dry spell. You’re meeting their children way too soon to get some sex ASAP. That’s her wrong decision, but it’s also your responsibility to exercise caution when involving a man or woman who has that type of baggage.

      YOU’RE PUTTING THEM IN FINANCIAL TURMOIL – They have to decide whether or not to forgive or reconcile with you for no other purpose than financial reasons. They can’t afford to throw you out on your ass because you contribute to the household. They can’t cover all the bills, and they have to weigh their financial struggle versus their heartbreak. They can’t afford the rent, bills, and car payments without you. They have to swallow their pride for their children having a roof over their heads and letting you stay; otherwise, they’d lose their home or struggle to live.

      THEY SPENT MONEY ON YOU THEY COULD’VE BEEN SAVING – All the things they did for you; expensive gifts, trips, helping you get your back child support squared away, or he helped you pay off a school loan or what you owed the IRS. Instead, they caught you cheating, and they’re thinking about the $800 loan they may or may not get back from you. You co-signed for a loan on a vehicle, and you don’t know if they’re going to keep up on the payments out of spite since you threw them out and won’t give them another chance. They hate you because you’ve been another man or woman’s money from the bank accounts you share with your spouse or partner.

      YOU GAVE THEM AN STD, CLAP, UTI – Now you have to get tested or deal with some shit they got from someone else and brought it home to you. So it’s not just the inconvenience of going back and for to the doctor and admitting they caught something from your cheating ass; they got something they can’t get rid of, and they’ll have to admit that to every person they get into a relationship with going forward.

      THEY’RE PREGNANT – Your main girl’s pregnant, and now she will be a single mom, or you got your side piece pregnant, or your side guy got you pregnant. Either way, someone has to weigh the option of love versus the 5lb, 6oz. a reminder that someone else had unprotected sex with the person you loved and thought was faithful and committed to you.

      It’s not just that you cheated; there’s so much more to why they hate you and want to take your head off. They trusted and backed you up when everyone else gave up on you. No one wants to hear “I told you so,” and now they’ll listen to it nonstop from everyone they know. They don’t know if you’re going to be financially responsible or move out and take everything they brought into the relationship. You had the car, so it’s back to riding the bus or going on government assistance, and they hate you for that. They have to move home with their parents with two kids or raise their baby in a basement turned bedroom in their sister’s house.

      You left a hole in their heart big enough to drive a train through. Everything hurts; what you did not only caused emotional but actual physical pain. You’ll say they knew you were having problems, but why didn’t you end things or always stop them from leaving so you could be with the person worth risking your relationship or marriage for anyway?

      To the person you cheated with, you did the same thing; you created two shockwaves from opposite directions and, at some point, crashed in the middle. You hurt two people, humiliated them, and destroyed their self-esteem for them and their children. You broke your neck to prove you could be trusted, to get some ass or some other benefit without the thought of the collateral damage of your shockwave. You took far much more than just their heart and stomped on it. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAR 14, 2022


      No matter how you try to twist it, there’s no way you can have sex “By accident”! When you got caught cheating, the first thing you said was it was a mistake. When they found out you messed around in the past, you claimed it was an accident; you didn’t mean to do it. How’s that even possible? You were drunk or high; you were pissed and wanted revenge. You got to go out when you’re always stuck at home, and you lost your damn mind. Your partner or spouse went out of town, and you had the house and the weekend to yourself.

      You and your partner broke up on Friday, and you hooked up with somebody that night; you got back together on Sunday, but you kept that new person on the side, just in case things didn’t work out in your relationship. There are no accidents when it comes to sex; there are no mistakes when you’re cheating. It happens, or it doesn’t; you want it, or you don’t; you meant to do what you did, you didn’t mean to get caught or have it come out weeks, months, or years later.

      You slept with your partner’s best friend, and you claimed to be drunk, but you went back were sober to see if it was a fluke or feelings there; was that time an accident too? Did you trip, lose your balance, and fall naked on top of someone who wasn’t your man or lady? Did you break your glasses or lose your contacts and mistook some stranger or their best friend for your man or lady? What part of you stepping out of your relationship and having sex with someone in an accident? If it were indeed an accident, why not come clean when you sobered up or stopped because you knew it was wrong?

      There are no accidents when it comes to cheating; you meant to do what you did, and you had no intention of telling anyone, much less having anyone find out. You held on to this “Accident” for months or years, and you’ve said nothing. You’ve been allowed to come clean about all the shit you’ve ever done in the past, and you still said nothing.

      How do you claim your cheating was an accident? First, say it so it sounds credible or even moderately convincing. You got caught, and that’s the first thing that came to your mind is: “You were drunk, mad, and wanted revenge, You were thinking of them the whole time, or It didn’t last THAT long.” You stopped 90 seconds after penetration, and you realized it was wrong. Saying it was an accident ranks right up there with the rest of that bullshit, and there’s nothing you can put on top of that dish that’s going to make it remotely edible.

      Not only did you piss somebody off by what you did, you made it worse when you said it was an accident. You left yourself open to a running kick in the crotch, and they claimed that was an accident too. They slipped and “Accidently” threw a brick through your front windshield, or they accidentally had sex with your best friend, your brother or sister, even your mom or dad. There’s no such thing as accidental sex; “I didn’t mean to” doesn’t exist either. What you meant was you didn’t mean for anyone to find out. When you call what you did an “Accident,” not only do you insult your partner by thinking they’re going to believe you when you tell the person you cheated with the same thing, you’ll make them feel like shit too. You just told them they were no different than falling up the stairs because you weren’t paying attention.

      You don’t get to know someone personally and intimately by accident. You don’t accidentally go to lunch for drinks after work by accident. You don’t have personal conversations about your respective relationships and the problems you’re having by accident. You’re not complimenting somebody or commenting on what you’d do or with them if you were single by accident. You knew what you were doing was wrong, and you wanted to do it; maybe not with who you chose, but you tried to cheat.

      It’s not an accident because you had every intention of taking your secret to your grave. It was a mistake that doesn’t work either; that means you’ve been making the same mistake 2 or 3 times a week for the past year and a half? Are you so clumsy and awkward you keep having the same accident every time you go out? Why don’t you have those accidents or make those mistakes when you’re out with your spouse?

      If you’re so accident-prone, perhaps you should consider wearing a sign around your neck that says WARNING: WET VAGINA! The trip, fall, and accidental slip & sex hazard or DANGER: ERECT PENIS! Known to lose balance, end up naked and penetrating anyone on contact!

      A mistake is doing something unintentionally, realizing what happened, and admitting/apologizing for your actions. An accident is an unplanned occurrence. For example, just because you didn’t plan to meet someone and have sex with them isn’t the same thing. A mistake is something you don’t intentionally repeat, and just because you apologize doesn’t mean forgiveness or reconciliation.

      There’s nothing accidental about what you did or what you’re doing. The mistake you made was doing what you did in the first place, thinking you could get away with it or by claiming it was an accident or an error. You made a bet or saw someone as a challenge because they were in a relationship. You purposely lied and fooled them into thinking you wanted more than just sex or a temporary hookup, and that took phone calls and texts, dates, and showed a level of interest, even if your interest was bullshit. You didn’t care about that other person and what your “Accident” did to them. The mistake you made was putting yourself in the position to cheat in the first place.

      The person who caught you or fell for your bullshit is the one who made the genuine mistake by getting involved with you. They didn’t see you for the shitbag you are until it was too late. Taking you for face value was a mistake. The mistake was not listening to that inner voice when you were waving red flags like battle standards. Thinking you were mature and over childish bullshit was the genuine mistake; they owe themselves an apology.

      Your cheating wasn’t the accident; you “Accidently” left the condom wrapper on the floor, and your foot pushed it under the bed. You weren’t thorough with your bullshit; you took out the trash and put it in the can next door without making sure all your incriminating evidence was in the bag. Your accident was not checking for strange underwear left on the floor, there were boxers or panties stuffed under the blankets at the foot of the bed, and your spouse found them. You bought something expensive for someone and used your credit card instead of cash, and left the receipt in your pocket. Your accident was getting complacent with your precautions, and that’s how you got caught.

      Claiming an accident isn’t going to work in your favor; you’ve already pissed your man or lady off, and they’re not going to believe a damn thing you say anyway, much less some bullshit about a mistake or an accident. You think they were that stupid might solicit an even worse reaction than if you just owned up to it or said nothing. If what you did happen in the past, cop to it when confronted with it; don’t make excuses, thinking that the damage will be less severe because it happened 2-3 years ago.

      It’s still not an accident; it’s still not a mistake, and claiming it will still sting as if it happened last week. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


FEB 20, 2022


      Kings and queens are rules of all they survey, according to the historical significance of the title. Other than your own home, where’s your kingdom? Where are your subjects besides your kids? Your Armies? Too many times, we hear black men and women refer to themselves as kings and queens and not to take away from the pride they have in their own race, ethnicity, and heritage, there’s no reason to suggest or think they or any race/ethnicity for that matter can put themselves ahead of another.

      Black women claim to be the giver of life and cradle of creation; everything strong and resilient about any culture is partially the result of black influence. Yet, black people often behave as if modern society and civilization wouldn’t be without their contributions. Blacks have most definitely been undervalued and underappreciated when it comes to American history, and their influences have been widely overlooked and gone far too long without acknowledgment. But when you’re one race, trying to bring attention to what your race has done, are you looking for recognition and show your ethnic pride, or are you trying to compete because you’re frustrated?

      Women of all races and origins were taking care of their homes, children, and men with no issues before black women came into their lives. Women are still doing just fine without knowing any black women at all now. Black women have taught white women how to cook, take care of their children, and run their households during slavery times. Whether white, Asian, Hispanic, European, etc. Women were feeding, raising, and caring for their homes long before they’d ever experienced the presence of the African culture. They were having children and satisfying their husbands before and after introducing black social philosophy.

      Black women may have taught white women how to cook “Soul food” their way, but look at how black men lead the nation in high blood pressure, hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease related to diet and nutrition. Black women may have taught women from other races how to cook the “Black way,” but white women also taught black women how to read and mathematics to teach their children. Hispanics have taught black and white women how to prepare “Mexican food,” It doesn’t make them any better than anyone else.

      What about racist women? Are they less capable of being good women to their families because they don’t know or want to associate with women of different skin colors? Their ideas may be ignorant and misleading, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that they have no problems negotiating their place in society unless another group is trying to convince the rest of the world their way is the best way, or their influence is or was more important than anyone else’s.

      Saying white women are docile, subservient, and easy to control is no different than when white America referred to blacks as savages during slavery. Stereotyping based on skin color or race is still racism, and everyone’s guilty. White people aren’t smarter. Jewish people aren’t better with money. Every Asian doesn’t know or study martial arts. Mexicans don’t work harder or are illegal immigrants. Black people aren’t better at sports. Every Middle Easterner is a terrorist or Muslim. When you’re claiming to be at the top of the pyramid and everything good in the world comes from your particular race or heritage is nothing more than a modern form of racism, no matter what color your skin is. The concept that black people are the anchor of civilized society is the same thinking whites used to justify the “Master race” ideology.

      You can’t get mad at the KKK for having a rally and spouting their racist rhetoric while you’re doing the same thing. The phrase “White Power” bothers you, but you’re responding with “Black Power” or “Brown Pride.” You’re trying to shut down one group by using their own tactics against them. You’re trying to shut someone down by using the same techniques to convince themselves they’re better than someone else by ethnicity. Separation and segregation were horrible concepts and ideas when whites were preaching them. Still, blacks would walk into a room and immediately seek out the other black men or women and associate themselves with their individual skin color while ignoring others. How often have you heard black people complain they can’t have a good time; a club or bar’s lame because there are “Too many white people”?

      There are far more racist blacks in modern society than whites. Black women will talk shit about white women in many aspects, especially when it comes to a white woman with a black man. They run the overall reputation of white women in the dirt but exclude her white friends who are listening. They claim she doesn’t count, but she does. If she weren’t their friends, she’d be included in their insults; if she weren’t around, she’d be included in their insults and slurs! Hispanics do the same thing; they use their culture and history to make it seem as if they’re the most dedicated, hard-working, and honorable people in the world. “If you want something done right, get a Latino at the helm” Again, there’s nothing wrong with having pride in your individual race, but are you using racist methods and ideals to enforce it?

      Black men are less concerned about what other black men do when they’re adults. He’s focused on what he’s doing to care. He knows if he spends too much time looking around or behind himself, he’s only going to go fast enough to stay ahead; instead of putting in 100%. Black men aren’t kings, and black women aren’t queens or anything outside their homes. It’s cute to believe or call each other that, but when you act like it or try to enforce that title among other races, you can’t do it without displaying some level of prejudice or racism on your part.

      Black women who criticize and refer to themselves as queens don’t or refuse to see the value and beauty in all women, regardless of their race, color, creed, or ethnic origin and ancestry. Some even have issues with other black women because they have lighter skin. They’ll blame another black woman for having white or Hispanic blood in their timeline. If they can’t “Trace their roots” back to Africa, they’re not a TRUE member of the club, UNLESS there’s a white woman around and a black man’s showing interest. Having more friends of a different ethnicity than your own doesn’t make you a “Sellout” or against your own race, and if you have that type of mentality, you’re being racist against your own.

      Black men and women are more racially judgmental than other races. When it comes to relationships, no one’s more openly critical than black women. They want black men of any other race to know how offended they are, especially with a white woman. They make it a point to get loud and verbally abusive to make an interracial couple feel inferior by using racist rhetoric. Just because you’re not using racist language doesn’t mean you’re not spreading a racist message.

      Some black women don’t even dislike women who aren’t black or who date black men; they only pretend to be against it because their friends are, and they want to belong to the majority. They don’t say anything against it, much less an opinion at all. Still, they need to ride that racist bandwagon if they want to continue being accepted by a particular social circle. Men could care less.

      If white women are more docile, so be it; at least they know what their man likes and are willing to provide it. She may be easy, but she has the man she wanted, and he treats her like the queen you claim to be. You’re single and pissed off because all your relationships are temporary, or you want to be chased or pursued. Some women, not just black women, believe a man has to prove his worth BEFORE she shows him she’s worthy of his efforts when other women go into a dating or relationship open-minded. That has nothing to do with race or color; that has to do with self-preservation, but more likely control.

      People got along just fine before the introduction of black influence in American history; not to say blacks haven’t contributed immensely to both American and world history, but it also doesn’t mean everyone was running around like cockroaches when you first turn the lights on or white women were running around aimlessly, crashing into shit headfirst until black women showed them how to be strong and independent. We’re all learning something from everyone, and we’ll continue to learn from each other as long as we can keep our racism, reverse racism, and feelings of superiority in check. However, once we start closing ourselves off to the possibility of being taught something because we believe we’re at the top of the food chain, we begin our journey backward in our social evolution.



Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JAN 9, 2022


      When you started messing around, you already broke the cheater principle, so can you realistically accuse someone of cheating on you when you were first to violate the expectation and sanctity of fidelity and commitment? You can be hurt, but do you have a right to be angry? Do you have the right to call someone else a cheater? Can you claim to be a casualty of the same injuries you’re inflicting?

      Why are you trying to fight somebody when you find them with your man or lady, and you’ve been cheating longer than they have? Why are you up in arms when you see your lady at dinner or the movies with some other guy or your man getting a blow job in the car? Have you done all that, plus a lot more, but you want to call someone else a cheater? You sound silly as hell!

      Can you use the word betrayal when you find out you’re not the only one getting extracurricular sex on the side? How can you accuse someone else of being dirty and call them a cheater when they’re just doing what you’re doing? How’s it worse when you’re on the receiving end? How’s that possible? Are you being cheated on or just getting a good, healthy taste of your own medicine?

      Men say it’s worse when a woman cheats because it takes more for a woman to step out on her relationship. It’s just sex for him; there’s an attraction; they spent time together. They went on dates; they got to know each other deeper. She took time to get comfortable with that other man enough to cheat. For men, it’s just a physical and sexual thing; for her, there’s some emotion involved.

      It was okay when you were the only cheater, and they were the fool, but now you’re also the fool. You’re not just a fool because you found out you were getting played; you’re an even bigger fool because you were the first to cheat and thought you were too smooth to get caught. So now you have egg all over your face because they knew you were cheating and said nothing. After all, you weren’t that big of a loss in the bedroom anyway.

      Their love for you kept them around, but when your cheating came to light, they cut that emotional connection and found some great sex somewhere else. They left you thinking you were being slick with your shit. They stayed with you, even though they knew you were cheating, but they’re getting what they need somewhere else. You wanted your cake and ate it. You weren’t hitting it right anyway, so when they found out you were messing around, that gave them the green light to find some quality sex on the side. Your side piece isn’t even satisfied with you, but your good deeds and fake-ass personality made them fall for you anyway.

      When you find out you’re in a covert, top-secret, open relationship, you’ll want them to stop immediately, but keep doing your side shit. You won’t prevent before they do, just in case they are still cheating. You’re both waiting for the other to stop; one of you wants to break up, and the other wants to work things out. Your only threat is to leave and be with the other person you’ve been messing around with, but they’ve already dealt with that and got a side piece of their own, so your ultimatum means absolute shit.

      You’re asking someone else if they’re single, But you’re not, so why does it matter if they are or not? You’re cheating, but you don’t want to be cheated on. You’re cheating, but you don’t want to be cheated on. You want somebody to give up their morals and integrity to cheat on their spouse and want them to be faithful to you. Is it cheating if you’re already doing it? The second they found out you were cheating, they broke up with you.

      You could argue it’s technically cheating because you thought you were the only one cheating, and your partner was being faithful, blind, and ignorant to, but faithful. You assumed they didn’t know about you; they just went out and started cheating on you, thinking you were being faithful the entire time. They met someone and started messing around, but isn’t that what you did too?

      You’ll try to say you’re cheating because they were cheating on you, and that might work, but count on it. That’s why you asked when they started messing around so you can lie about how long you were cheating and use revenge as an excuse to why you’re, but they’ve only been messing around for two months, and you’ve been at it off-and-on for three years. You won’t admit to anyone else you messed around with, just the one you were caught with.

      So, can you realistically call someone else a cheater with a straight face when you’re not only cheating, but you’re the one who cheated first and has been cheating the longest with the most people? You broke the chain of loyalty and commitment, and you did it with absolutely no thought to the consequences of getting caught or turning around and being cheated on. You didn’t think about the damage you’d cause if you were ever seen. You never expected to get caught, so aren’t you being a hypocrite when you’re pissed because you found out you were cheated on?

      You’re a burglar who wants to call the police because your house was broken into. You’re facing karma in its most authentic, most primal form. You really can’t call someone else a cheater when you’re doing it; been doing it longer, and you did it first. Being heartbroken is a little overdramatic because you didn’t give a damn about the effect you’d have on the person you cheated on or cheated with. You’re selfish, and that mentality got you discovered, and a spell of vengeance has been cast on you like a witch’s curse.

      You can accuse someone of cheating on you, but people will look at you like the fool you are. You’ll try to rally support against your partner, and some will back you up, even though they knew you were cheating. Others will fake support but say you got what you deserved. You can be mad because they didn’t think you were cheating and they just went and had sex with other people, but the fact they didn’t know you were cheating first doesn’t make you a victim any more than it does for them; you’re both cheaters, and you have no business being together.

      Instead of coming clean or confronting each other, you’ll both seek more revenge on one another by cheating worse than before until one of you catches a disease you have to admit to or can’t get rid of, or someone ends up pregnant. You’re both arguing about doing the same thing to each other. You’re a particular type of hypocrite if you’re getting mad because you got cheated on two years ago, and you’re still cheating; you’ve been cheating the whole time.

      You’re not a victim; you’re a drug dealer who’s pissed off that another dealer got your son or brother selling drugs for them, and they got caught. You’re a player who’s pissed off because one of your siblings got played and their hearts torn to pieces.

      You broke the cheater code, so to call someone else out for cheating on you makes you sound like a baby who can’t have a cookie before dinner. People will feel sorry for you but ask what is expected. Your heartache may draw pity, but the reason for your heartbreak was by your doing. Whether out of revenge or pure disloyalty, you were cheating, and the fact they were too has no bearing on your cheating, and wanting justice or compassion is ridiculous.

      You’re the first person to break the seal of trust; they broke it too, so how can either of you accuse the other of cheating? Do you both have your reasons for doing what you did? Just because you thought you were the only one cheating doesn’t make one of you less innocent or guilty than the other. You can’t call someone a cheater or accuse someone of cheating when you were the first to cross the tape.

      The first who cheated will be the villain. You’ll go back and forth about who cheated first. Finally, the actual act of cheating will take a back seat to who went first. You’ll spend more time trying to establish a timeline neither of you wants to be honest about because you want to be the victim and survivor, the burning hand of vengeance. In the end, the message will be, “You did it, so why can’t I?”


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


DEC 12, 2021


      Relationships aren’t perfect; you’re going to disagree and have arguments. Everything won’t be perfect all the time, but how you handle those times will define the course and path of your relationship for much longer than it should. Doing silly shit like going to bed angry or showing each other how something feels when the shoe is on the other foot is childish and ridiculous. Cutting each other off and using sex as a punishment or reward is just as dumb.

      Thinking you can’t still have sex when you’re upset at each other isn’t something most people come up with on their own; it’s something you learned from somewhere else, or someone told you that’s the best way to get back at each other. So not only are you calling yourself out for not having sex because you’re mad, but you’re also rubbing it in each other’s face, and it’s turned into a competition to see who’s going to break down first.

      Don’t get it twisted; you can have sex when you’re mad or take a break from being angry, have some damn good sex, and go right back to being pissed off; chances are, after the sex, you’re not even thinking about why you were mad in the first place. Angry sex doesn’t always work for every issue, either. Such as transgressions like infidelity, but you’re mad at each other for getting lost or forgetting date night. That “I have a headache” shit is silly shit.

      Being mad is just that; you’re angry about something, and you’re going to get past it after a while. It doesn’t mean you’re going to break up or get a divorce, and it’s a snakebite disagreement. Cutting each other off is your siege for a portion of control in your relationship. You’re going to get through it and move forward.

      You can still have sex even though you’re mad at each other. You can use it to make your sex better if you’re smart enough to spin it to your benefit. You can use it to try things without having to account for where it came from, other than you were pissed and you remembered seeing it in a porno. You can use anger and frustration to do something different, freaky, or out of your normal activities.

      You can use their reactions and push boundaries when you have sex when you’re not on the same page or arguing. You can show your primal side, and you both might enjoy the hell out of it. It could be the spark that takes your sex to the next level or re-ignite that dull flame that used to be your sex life into a raging fire.

      When you’re cutting each other off because you’re angry, it’s easy to get used to not having sex when it keeps happening over and over again, incredibly if your sex wasn’t satisfying or irregular in the first place. It’s easier to drop something and keep walking than stop, bend over, and pick it up again.

      You can have mad sex, and that’s all you needed to do or what it took to get past being angry, but you’d rather be mad. Subconsciously, you could be mad because your sex life was declining, and whatever petty disagreement you were having was made worse by your sexual frustration. Argument sex isn’t for everyone. You have to have a pretty good sex life, to begin with, for it to be beneficial. You have to be capable of healthy communication and problem-solving for it to work.

      Why wouldn’t you be down with having sex when you’re annoyed or irritated? Especially with the lack of or the stale routine of your sex is one of the deeper roots of your frustration in the first place? Mad sex is makeup sex before or without the making-up part. But, of course, after having sex, making up might not even be necessary.

      Some couples try to use sex as an apology anyway; how’s that different from argument sex? You went to bed mad at each other, and halfway through the night, he rolled over, puts his arm around you, and pushed himself up against you, and you knew what that meant; she wants to apologize by sticking her ass out and slow grinding against him, pretending to be restlessly asleep. There’s no difference.

      Why choose mad over crazy, angry sex? Why wouldn’t you want to move past whatever the issue is when you know you’re going to make up anyway? Is there a predetermined amount of time or suffering you want to put each other through first, and if so, what’s the purpose? Don’t prolong petty arguments and shitty situations unnecessarily, to stay mad and turn down sex or use it to change someone or “Fix” what you don’t like.

      What message do you think you’re sending about your sex when you’re choosing to stay mad at each other rather than to make up? How do you think it will affect your sex in the future when being angry or correct is more important than being physical, especially when you know you’re going to get past it and makeup shortly? You want to make up, but pride got the best of you, and you’re both waiting for the other to give in first.

      You’re not going to split up; there’s no permanent damage done, and reconciliation is inevitable. But, you’re both mad, and for some reason, it’s turning you on to see that fire and intensity they used to have, and it’s making you soaking wet or hard as marble. You’ve been together long enough to know that “Look,” and you both want to drop what you’re doing and get it on right then and there; don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You want to stay mad long enough to get something off your chest you’ve wanted to say for a while, so say it, get naked and lie back or bend over.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


NOV 22, 2021


      You can try to shortcut the appearance of your age, wrinkles, and lines with Botox, collagen, and plastic surgery, but even when all that’s done and you look amazing. It’s your chronological age, not what you put into your physical beauty, that keeps some men and women from pursuing a relationship or interest in you. The actual number is the turn-off, not just your looks.

      Women don’t want to date someone the same age as their son, and guys don’t want to date a woman who could be friends with his mom. Men are sexually attracted to the thrill, adventure, and more open and adventurous sexual nature of an older woman and pursue her, but not to have a relationship. A younger man hasn’t been through anything or enough to have much in common for a long-term relationship with an older woman; he’s got more growing up to do, and she doesn’t want to shackle him from the rights of passage he’d miss out on being with an older woman.

      She’s been through too much for his preference. Her kids are already grown and have no interest in raising any more or anyone else’s, even if he’s in his mid-20’s. You’re trying to date or have a relationship with someone younger who wants kids, and there’s no budging or room for compromise at all on either side. There’s no point in continuing to get to know each other.

      You’ll go to the ends of the earth to stay looking young and attractive, but that’s not the issue. How good you look isn’t what’s keeping that hot, younger man or woman from wanting you; it’s your chronological age; the year you were born, and that’s the year they’re studying in modern history class. When they were born, you were graduating high school or well into your Sophomore year in college.

You fight against the emotional and physical signs of aging, wrinkles, thinning hair, weight gain, etc., but that’s only half the battle. You also have the number of years you’ve been alive stacked against you, not just your looks.

      Your age is the focus and the problem; it doesn’t matter how good you look; it’s the year you were born that’s the thorn in their side.

The compliments you’re getting are conditional and circumstantial, based on your age. The compliments you get are half-complete; the qualifier is left out. The qualifier is your age. If a 25-year-old guy tells a 40-year-old woman she’s smoking hot, and the full complement is she’s smoking hot for a 40-year-old woman.

      When praised, men and women don’t realize the compliment is given about their age, not in general. Men and women should know they can’t compete with younger, more fit, or attractive versions of themselves but still don’t realize compliments come from the reference to their age. For example, he knows a few 50-year-old women, but there’s one in particular who’s the sexiest he’s ever met; in fact, she’s one of the sexiest women he’s met of any age, but his compliment is about her age, not all the women he knows.

      When you were told you looked amazing in that suit or dress, they told you it was the dress or suit that made you look amazing. Men are more unaware of the actuality or reality behind the compliment. If he’s good-looking, he’s quicker to believe he’s hot across the board, not just because of his age. Likewise, women want to think every man finds her attractive, although she knows that’s probably not true.

      There’s nothing wrong with you; you’re a hell of a catch. You’re on the same emotional and physical level all the way around. The chemistry’s there, and it feels incredible. You have so much in common, you think you may have found someone you could be into for the long term, but your ages and age difference is what’s keeping you from being together. You’re concerned about what people will think and say about the years you both were born.

      You feel people are staring and judging you because they see the significant age difference between you. So you let what strangers could be thinking and saying about you affect your happiness and prevent you from someone great for your life. The approval from your friends means more than your freedom of choice; you’d rather be with someone who meets their expectations over someone who fulfills your needs.

      Older men are quicker to find a woman his age or slightly younger, too old to keep up, and he needs somebody younger, but he can barely keep up with women his age. Girls believe they mature faster than boys, but that’s not true either; she is just more in a hurry to act more grown-up. So again, it’s your/their age that’s the turn-off.

      She knows her friends will go apeshit on her for or against her attraction to a younger man when they find out about the 15–20-year age difference. His friends will talk shit about him and automatically see her as an old, desperate woman. She can be a side piece or sugar momma, but her age is the issue no matter how good she looks.

      You’re a pervert or deviant, a predator or cougar. They imagine the reaction that’ll come when your 20-year age difference comes out. It’ll be weird to say they’re 45-50, and you’re still in your 20’s. You’ll be a potential sex offender, even if she’s 18 and you’re 35.

The sex was good and worthy of compliment because every other time sucks, or it was worthy of praise this time. Your past performances aren’t included; the sex you just had is what got you your compliment unless they’re explicitly saying you’re good at sex in general. Lousy sex will get the overall complaint. The praise in your sex is based on the experience with other men and women of your age group, and you exceeded their expectations.

      The complete compliment is your sex is good for someone your age, size, or looks. They’ve been with men or women who failed to impress, but you exceeded their expectations and are worthy of praise for your age. They can’t believe you’re as experienced or flexible for your age or size. You have more stamina than they thought because most 45-year-olds don’t. You have an excellent figure for your period and how much you work out.

      You think people’s interest will keep you young, but it’s conditional and incomplete; it’s about your age. She’s got a great ass for her age; he’s got nice muscles for his age. You both look ridiculously sexy for people your age. You’re getting the ass-end of an insult disguised as a compliment.

      You’re trying to fight the signs of aging, but that’s a battle you’re going to lose eventually. Mortality will get the best of you, and you’re going to continue to get older. So before you criticize yourself for how you think you look, understand there’s nothing wrong with how you look, whether you’re in your 30’s or 50’s. You look great; you’re muscular, or you’re rocking a body most people half your age are killing themselves for, but that is not the focus; that’s why someone’s not interested. They wish they could be, but they can’t, simply because of how you are.

      Women want a younger man’s physical traits, without his immaturity; he wants his sex drive, stamina, zest for adventure and life but in a packed her age. Men wish for an older woman’s stability, mentality, sexual appetite, and nurturing personality wrapped in a younger version of the woman he found everything he’s wanted. They both want the benefits of different age groups but in their age range. You want to be sexy and desirable, not just for someone your age, but in general. You want your maturity to be acknowledged without it being such a shock for someone as young as you are. You want the complete compliment without the chronological qualifier or conditions. You want to be a great catch, not a great catch for your age.

      Men don’t want women too much more experienced at sex than he is; he wants a fighting chance to be the best she’s ever had or least near the top, and they know older women could’ve had more partners or forgotten more about sex than he’ll ever learn. He wants to be the one to get her hooked on his sex, not the other way around. Women will sacrifice his lack of experience for his stamina and sex drive. It won’t occur to him she’s been married for 20 years and has only had sex with five men in her life, her age with being his struggle. His age will be her issue.



Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


OCT 21, 2021


      When you catch your woman cheating, you’re going to be mad as hell. You’re full of rage, frustration, humiliation, and confusion with nowhere put it but the guy standing in front of you. Unless he knew about you, he’s not the person to take it out on. If he knew you or knew about you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t want to kick his ass for disrespecting you and betraying your friendship. Cheating with your lady is icing on the cake. You can be mad at him, but don’t take away from what she did. If he didn’t know about you, leave him alone; that was her choice. You should be mad at her, not that other man; why the hell are the two of you fighting?

      Are you fighting because you got cheated on or because you know the guy they cheated? Are you fighting because they knew about you the whole time and they didn’t care? Were you friends? Are you fighting because you cheated, and they’re getting you back? Are you pissed because your boys told you she was doing you dirty, and you defended her; now you have to go back and admit you were wrong?

      You feel like a damn fool, and you want to redeem yourself. The natural thing to do is to throw blows with that other guy; the quickest way to show your anger is to jump on him, but he’s as much the victim as you. You’re not going to put your hands on that woman, even though you want to, because that’s not how you were raised; at least most men were, but you can’t underestimate what a man will do when faced with that situation.

      You want to slap the shit out of her. She knows you want to put hands on her throat, but she knows you won’t. She’s safe, no matter what you do and how mad you get. She’ll stand there screaming, crying, and trying to stop you two from fighting. She’s watching you go after each other, hoping somebody will come and break it up. Because you won’t, and legally shouldn’t punch her in the face, it’s not an excuse or reason to pardon her role in the situation or make light of her being the reason you’re all together.

      She’s standing in the corner, watching you fight. She acts like she doesn’t know who the other guy is and when that doesn’t work, she’ll bring up shit that has nothing to do with or even compares to the magnitude of what she did. You don’t empty the dishwasher, so she cheated on you. You leave the toilet seat up, so she cheated on you. You’re working so she doesn’t have to, so she cheated on you. You pay the bills instead of buying her expensive things, so she cheated on you.

      She knows there’s a good chance at least one of you is still going to want to be with her, so she’ll wait and see which one that is. She’s watching to see who’s willing to fight the hardest for her or who’ll walk away. So she’ll go back and forth, first telling you she loves you and the other meant nothing until you’re done with her, then she’ll switch and notify the other guy the same shit she just told you.

      She can’t wait to brag about having guys fight over her. 2 guys fighting makes her better about herself and boosts her self-esteem in some weird way. Maybe she knows YOU were messing around, and this is how she got her revenge; by getting someone else involved to kick your ass. She doesn’t understand or comprehend the danger she’s putting you both in between physical harm, STDs, or legal repercussions for your actions. But, maybe she does understand, and the fact that you both want her so bad you’re willing to take that chance, she gets off on it.

      This guy didn’t know any more about you than you did about him until you caught them together or he caught you. So why are you fighting each other? She doesn’t want you to fight, but she’s secretly attracted to having two men willing to go toe to toe for her, especially if one of her complaints is that her man doesn’t show her enough attention or feels like he doesn’t care about her. She’ll tell you it’s about time you stepped up and acted like you gave a shit about her; maybe if you’d made her feel that way before, she wouldn’t have HAD to cheat on you.

      She didn’t HAVE to cheat; she CHOSE to. She MEANT to tell you it’s over. Men don’t HAVE to cheat on their women; they CHOOSE to. Don’t get diverted or allow yourself to be thrown in a pit of fire for her bullshit. There’s no gun to her head or knife to her throat; cheating is a conscious choice for her, and the anger and blame are on her because she’s the one who cheated. It’s her responsibility to put her foot down and remain faithful. It was still up to her to go along with it. She could’ve told him to stop or walk away. She could’ve turned him down. She could’ve told you and let you deal with it if she couldn’t.

      Of course, you want somebody to answer and pay for screwing you over and making a fool out of you, but it was her, not the guy you’re wrestling around on the floor. You should be pissed at her. That other guy’s just as confused and pissed off as you are and wants the same information, explanations, and payback you want. That’s why you’re targeting each other; you’re both frustrated. Even your concept of gravity is messed up right now, and you’re at your most primal. That other guy’s feeling and thinking everything you are and wants to swing on somebody too.

      When men get cheated on, he’ll put her infidelity into “Dog years.” She didn’t hook up with some guy on a whim; she didn’t let a total stranger hit that ass on the first night; she took time to get to know him. He caught her eye and her interest. They spent time together. They dated for a while before it got physical. Her emotions and feelings got involved before having sex with him, which took 1-3 months. So when she tells you she’s only been cheating for three months, she’s telling you how long they’ve been having sex, not how long ago they met or been seeing each other.

      You want to fight each other because you want to believe the other forced her to cheat; you didn’t give her any choice. You want some sensible reason she did what she did. You’re convinced that he made her do it; it’s not her fault. They assume you knew about them; you believe they knew about you. It’s harder for men to convince each other they didn’t know about the other. Men are more likely not to care if she has a man or not, as long as she’s giving it up. Men are quicker to hook up with other women no matter what their situation at home is.

      You’re both mad at each other for coming between you and your woman. Neither of you sees her as the common denominator; all you see is another man putting his hands on your woman. You’re fighting because she’s touching another man. You’re fighting because that other guy put his hands on you. He’s a stranger coming between you and your lady. In your eyes, he walked up, pushed you out the way, and started trying to take her home.

      You’re fighting each other because both of you want your explanation and questions answered first. This other guy has no business asking you or your lady a damn thing, and you want each other to go away. You do not think that everything you feel you’re entitled to goes for them. You’re going to want to beat the shit out of somebody, and the perfect candidate’s standing right in front of you. You’re not thinking about how big or small you are when you’re face to face with the guy who’s bending your lady over behind your back or having sex in your bed when you’re at work.

      You don’t even know each other, and you still want to fight instead of looking to her for doing you both dirty. So before the pushing and shoving match begins, remember who the real villain is. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


SEP 24, 2021


      Men have a different style of math when it comes to relationships and how they talk to women and their friends. Men either exaggerate or play down their numbers depending on who they’re talking to or about. He’ll hook up with 4 women over the weekend he’s rated as a 4, but he’ll combine them and tell his friends he hooked up with 2 women who were rated as an 8.

      The rule of 3; Men will multiply the number of women they had sex with while on vacation. He’ll tell everyone he had sex with 5-7 different women during his week in Hawaii or Vegas, but in reality, it was only between 1-3.

      Men lie because their image is at stake; every time he goes out, his manhood is on trial, and he has to prove himself. His math is twisted because he needs to maintain his standing in his social group, especially if he’s a founding member, So he'll lie about how many phone numbers he’s gotten and how many women he met; he’ll embellish the number of women who approached him, as well as the number of women he charmed with his “Game.”

      Man’s misunderstanding of his own mathematics will make him bend the truth on how many different women he’s having sex with. Men have the hardest time judging length and thickness when it comes to bragging about their package size. Younger men misrepresent their length; They brag about being able to gag a woman or claim she won’t be able to take it all in. Older men are more delusional about thickness or girth; he won’t brag about hitting the back of her cervix, but he’ll claim to choke her with a mouthful.

      Men have a hard time equalizing their build and weight compared to a woman’s weight and build. Men will refer to a woman’s checking him out or who likes him as “That big girl.” He’s 6’0, 280-305 pounds; she’s 5’5, 160-175 pounds, and in his eyes, she’s bigger than he is or too big for him to be interested in. In his mind, she should know better.

      Men lie about how often he’s had sex with a woman in particular and how many orgasms they had. He’ll double that number at the very least. If he’s done and she was close enough, he’ll count it as an orgasm, or he’ll hunker down and try to get it out of her if it’s her first one of that night. He’ll risk dehydration and losing consciousness from the gravitational force he’s putting on himself to keep going while he’s holding his breath, curling his toes, and giving all his might to keep going until she does have that orgasm. He’ll tell his friends she had 3-4 before passing out; he won’t tell them HE was the one who passed out after her first one.

      Men lie about how many children he has. When asked, he’ll admit to how many children “He takes care of,” not how many he has with women he doesn’t acknowledge. He’ll lie about how many different women he has kids with.

      Men lie to their friends when he wants them to go somewhere in particular for example, heHe wants his friends to try a new place to hang out, so he’ll tell them the drinks are cheaper than they really are and how many women were there the night he went and checked it out by himself or with his co-workers.

      Men misrepresent their own personal ratings from looks to personality. He sees himself as a much better catch than the women around him, or his friends will give him credit for. When he’s describing himself for the first time, a man’s math makes 5’6 and 6’2 the same height; if he’s even 1/64ths of an inch over 5’6”, he’ll say he’s 5’7”. He’ll subtract a quarter pound from every pound he actually weighs if he’s overweight and adds a quarter pound for every actual pound if he’s underweight. He’ll lie about his age to younger women he knows won’t talk to him if she knew he was the same age as her favorite uncle, or he’ll lie about being older because she has a son his true age.

      When caught cheating, men will subtract at least 2 months for every month he’s actually been cheating. He won’t admit to how many times he’s cheated or how many different women; it’ll always be once and his first time. He’ll only answer questions related to the person he was caught with. If he’s been cheating with 2-3 women over the past year and a half, he’ll only admit to what he can get away with; that’s why he doesn’t want to be in between his lady and the other woman at the same time; they’ll keep him honest.

      He got his sneakers on sale with an online discount coupon for 20% off, but he’ll claim to have paid full price to his friends but got them at an even bigger discount to his lady. He truly only paid $140, but he tells everyone they cost $200; he told his lady they were only $110. The rims on his car were $1,100; everyone else thinks he paid $2,000Again, heHe told his lady they were only $850.

      Men will inflate how many points he scored last Saturday while playing basketball. He’ll embellish about how much he won at the casino. He’d add about 25-30 pounds to his bench press claim if you weren’t there. When it comes to his income, $11.05/hour is $13.00 to everyone he talks to. For every month he actually spent in college, he’ll tack on 3. Talking numbers with some men is like a tire sale; buy 3, get the 4th tire free.

      Time also falls victim to a man’s interpretation of improper mathematics. He’s “Almost there,” which means he just left his house. His 5-minutes turns into 20 minutes when he’s complaining about how long he was waiting. He blew his load 5 minutes ago, but he’ll fake lasting longer to keep from being a 2-minute man.

      Men lie about the weight or figure of the woman they hooked up with if no one was around to dispute his claim. He’ll convert her actual weight to “Dog Pounds.” For every 6 pounds of weight she actually has, he’ll only claim 2.5 pounds to his friends. If she weighed 250 pounds ACTUAL, he’d tell his friends she was 104 pounds, and she was smoking hot! Men will add a cup size or 2, and when he says her breasts were a handful, he might be talking about a small child’s handful, not a grown man’s handful.

      You have to be careful when dealing with the mathematics of men. You can’t take everything at face value. They don’t make calculators for the type of math a man comes up with. There aren’t any equations to find a correct answer to embellished algebra. If you didn’t see it for yourself, chances are it might not be the standard addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division you and the rest of modern society learned. Cornbread calculus only makes sense in the mind of the person performing the computations. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


AUG 30, 2021


      You can’t be in any worse shape than you are now, so why not just bite the bullet and show all your cards now? You got caught, they’re giving you another chance, and they’re even allowing you to come clean about everything. So why wouldn’t you choose complete amnesty and empty your pockets when they can’t get any more hurt, pissed off, or feel worse than what you just put them through?

      Why try to hold on to shit that could very well come back and bite you in the ass later down the line? Why not be upfront in case something comes up after they’ve forgiven you, only to have all the work you put into proving yourself trustworthy again flushed down the toilet because you held on to something that happened before you got caught?

      Men are expected to admit everything he’s done wrong for the entire length of the relationship; women will only cop to what he knows about. She wants his slate completely clean, but she won’t share any more than what he’s aware of. That’s usually because men are likely to have more skeletons in their closet than she does, so he has more to confess. In addition, he’s stereotyped to repeat or have repeated his infidelity more than once, and this just happened to be the one time out of a dozen he got caught. So he’ll have a harder time convincing his lady this was his first and only time cheating than the other way around.

      Women won’t tell more than what he knows because women have always been seen more as a victim of cheating than men, so her screw-up not only betrays her man, but it also provides men ammunition to point out how much women cheat too. In addition, her infidelity has jeopardized her solidarity among women. The last thing women want is to let it out in the open that they’re just as underhanded and scandalous as men. That way, they can continue being the stereotypical victim and maintain the stigma that men cheat more than women.

      Coming clean about everything once you’re caught should be a no-brainer, so why hide shit that could later come back up like spicy food? Because they want to seem genuinely sorry for what they did, based on what the other person knows. They want to avoid admitting to a pattern that could jeopardize their forgiveness and cause more damage to their relationship. Admitting to cheating once during their 5-year marriage is a hell of a lot better than admitting to cheating 3-4 times. It’s better for their defense than to admit they were cheating the whole time. The focus is on what’s known, not what’s best in the long run. They want the quick-fix, and for them to cop to more than what’s known would be suicide.

      Here’s your chance to change your future for the better, so take it. If they’re allowing you to come clean about anything and everything, you can almost bet they know more than you think they do. That’s your first test to convince them you’re truly remorseful, serious about putting your bullshit behind you, and moving forward like you’re claiming you want to. They know about your other men or women; they’re testing you to see if you’ve learned from your “Mistake” and are ready to account for what you did and earn their trust back. As soon as you lie and say there’s nothing else to tell, you told them they couldn’t trust you, and you’ll most likely do it again. That’s all they need to know to cut your ass off and send you packing.

      You got caught lying, and now you’re trying to get them to forgive you for lying, but you’re still lying; you’re lying by omission. Now’s not the time to be cute or get technical with your wording. They’re giving you a chance to expunge your record; why aren’t you making the deal? They’re offering you the choice of going to traffic court or losing your license. Why would you show up to a restaurant and request your main course be served on your used salad plate instead of a clean, fresh one? Why would you start your journey on the road to forgiveness on a lie by not claiming everything you did wrong the last time you took this trip? You’re on the freeway and took the same wrong exists that got you lost the last time.

      Because you don’t want to make things worse, you won’t come clean after you’ve been caught. You don’t want to add more weight to the bar because you think it may be too much weight, and they won’t even try to lift it. You’ve not only underestimated their strength; you’ve set yourself up for failure because it’s too heavy for you to lift. Now, you’ve lost your credibility and reputation as a competent training/relationship partner.

      They know you’re lying and keeping things from them because they know more than you think they do. They’ve put two and two together, and all the funny feelings and red flags they’ve had during your relationship started to make sense when they found out you were messing around. So they tested you, and you failed; miserably. You told them you hadn’t changed a bit; you’re not sorry you lied; you’re sorry you got caught in your lie. You’re not sorry you cheated; you’re sorry you got caught cheating and what it did to you. You didn’t want to come clean because you’re going to go right back out and do it again, just as soon as you get past getting caught. You haven’t changed a bit, and they know it.

      They’re going to take advantage of your own bullshit and make you pay. They’re going make you sit at home, being a goody-goody shut-in while they go out and have fun without you. They’re going to dress better, lose weight/get in shape, upgrade their wardrobe, and flirt with other people. Expect them to give some attention and interest in that person you knew had a thing for them when you were together.

      You’re going watch them meet other people, date, and even have sex with someone else while you’re trying to prove yourself. They’re going to allow you to jump through every hoop they can come up with to earn back their trust, and when you’ve suffered through all they can throw at you, then they’re going to leave you high and dry with your heart and ego crashed into a fine dust. All because you couldn’t come clean about all your bullshit when they gave you a chance. They offered you detergent with fabric softener, but you chose to wash your clothes in the same dirty water from the first load, and they sat back and let you.



Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


AUG 16, 2021


      What’s the fascination with breasts? Men like them big because they make a cool clapping sound when he’s hitting from behind; he enjoys watching them bounce up and down when she’s riding him. The sound of her breasts smacking against her body is just as much a turn-on as when her ass cheeks are clapping when he’s holding her by her hips and pounding her from behind. The sound of her ass contacting his pelvis encourages him to go harder and or faster; it’s a motivating indicator of how rough and vigorous your sex is. The same applies to her chest.

      Her breasts are versatile; he can play with them, suckle them, masturbate, kiss, or stare at them. Bare skin on skin contact feels incredible; that’s why he enjoys her leaning forward on top of him during sex. Keeping her breasts moving and bouncing in sync helps him maintain his stroke and rhythm; being preoccupied with keeping them moving in a particular pattern is like making them dance; it allows him to detour his focus and attention somewhere else other than trying to orgasm too quick so he can relax and last longer for her.

      Her breasts make her sexy; they enforce her femininity and show she’s definitely a woman. He thinks it’s a quick way to get her aroused; he’s infatuated with her chest and believes that’s all the foreplay he needs to invest in getting her in the mood for sex. He’ll get beside himself when she tells him it’s not enough or she needs more or other types of additional stimulation. In a man’s mind, his mouth on her nipples is the same as her giving him oral.

      Men relate how easy it’ll be to get her into bed by how much cleavage she shows when she’s out. He believes he can dictate how much effort he should have to put into her before she’s contracted or obligated to have sex. When he introduced himself, she only had the top button on her shirt undone; 90 minutes into getting to know each other and a few drinks later, 3 buttons are undone. She knows he’s checking her out. He likes larger breasts because he likes how her body looks with just the right breast showing.

      Unlike her backside, she can make them appear bigger, shapelier, and more voluptuous. How she shows them off or chooses and wears her bra dictates how her clothes fit and look in them. How she looks standing in front of him in a skirt and her bra makes her sexy in a forbidden aspect. The simple act of taking her bra off can be enticing and erotic. He gauges her weight, curves, and figure by how her breasts look. He believes how hard they are or whether or not he can see her nipples through her top is an indicator of how or if she’s attracted to and interested in him.

      He likes them because he doesn’t have them, as funny as it sounds. They’re mysterious, even though they’re prominently on display with whatever she wears. She’s completely covered up, but there they still are out into the open, plain as day and big as hell. Breasts are an easy way to experience variety through imagination and graphic stimulation. He can visualize himself with different women with different breast sizes, types, and shapes.

      Men like breasts in general because they can be more discreet when checking her out when she’s walking towards them, as opposed to breaking his neck to turn around and stare at her ass, especially if she’s with her man or he’s with his lady. Men would rather have other men staring at his woman’s chest in passing than disrespect him by turning around to check out her backside. Her breasts are a big part of how his friends will judge her worth and sex appeal.

      They’re a source of rivalry between women when it comes to presentation, and he knows it. They’re both attracted to him, and women know men are visual creatures. He likes that they’re both trying to entice him with their figure, and he’s getting off on it. He wants to see who’s interested and invested enough to go the farthest distance to seduce him visually.

      She enjoys showing off, and someone’s going to have their face in between them at the end of the night, and he’s determined to be that someone. He believes she’s showing off to get attention or show she’s on the prowl, looking to meet someone or hook up for the night. Women with large breasts make great pillows and comfort companions. She can relate to how he could feel self-conscious about being smaller than average or unable to satisfy a woman, and her breasts are huge, and they turn men away. He’s self-conscious about being too small in the pants, and she’s self-conscious about being too large-chested.

      Men will take credit for his woman’s breasts as if he had something to do with them. He feeds off the attention and popularity her breasts get him from other men. He’ll send to get the drinks, knowing the bartender won’t charge her as much, if at all.

      Because men relate breasts size to weight, shape, tone, and figure, some men prefer smaller breasts because they prefer smaller women. Even if she wears a smaller clothing size, being busty will make her appear overweight, out of shape, or bigger in his eyes. He’s not into bouncing breasts, the slapping sound annoys him, and he sees it as her being too chubby for his liking. On the other hand, he knows if they’re too big for her frame, they’ll sag as she gets older, and he wants her “Perky.”

      Her breasts are a reward; she may not be ready or comfortable enough with you to have sex, but she does want you to know she’s sexually attracted, and letting handle her breasts and body was that message. They enhance arousal and foreplay. Some women can orgasm from manual and oral stimulation. Her breasts are to do with his hands, so he doesn’t feel awkward or say something silly.

      A man’s attraction to breasts comes from every corner of the sexual galaxy, and to try to pinpoint why we enjoy them would take as long as trying to figure out why men prefer butts to breasts. Women have issues with their breasts; some wish they were bigger; some wish smaller. Some men prefer smaller while others view breast meat like money; you can never have too much. Whatever you enjoy, make sure both you and your partner are on the same page regarding how much attention and contact you prefer vs. what she’s comfortable with. Once you’ve done that, please sit back and enjoy yourself; the breast is yet to come. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


AUG 08, 2021


      You told him to stop, and he stopped; then you asked him why he stopped. Whatever he was doing differently or whatever position he had you in felt so damn good; you could barely form comprehensive thoughts, much fewer sentences. He had you on all fours, barking like a dog, or you were on top, and he was taming you like a wild bronco. He stopped because you told him to stop. He had you folded up like half a pretzel and dipping his meat inside you like barbecue wings in ranch dressing, but it was too much for you at the time, and the first thing that came to your mind was to scream for him to stop.

      Then you asked him why he stopped, and he looked at you like you were crazy. Then you turned around and asked him NOT to stop, and he kept going. Later on, you asked him why he stopped, and he told you why, but you don’t even remember asking him to stop. You didn’t know what else to say because you’re not usually so verbal or vocal. You wanted to praise him and tell him the sex was incredible. Asking him to stop was a compliment and giving him fuel to brag about breaking you down into submission or “Tapping out.”

      He was doing damage as you’ve never had sex before, and you have no idea which way is up; you’re panting and sweating like you’re at the tail end of your first cardio-kickboxing class. You needed to catch your breath, or your head needed to catch up with the number of orgasms you had up to that point. You’ve never had multiple back-to-back orgasms or one that made you cry. You’d never experienced aftershocks while you were still having sex. He had the biggest package you’d ever seen and could work it blue-collar style. You were pushing him off because he was bigger or deeper than any other man has ever been, and even though you really didn’t want him to, you told him to stop.

      When you told him to stop, you were wriggling and squirming, and you gave the impression you were trying to get away from him. You didn’t know what was happening during your orgasm. Your head got twisted up, and your ears were ringing. You were light-headed because you were holding your breath, bracing yourself for the next wave of orgasms. You really didn’t want him to stop; you needed him to stop; your orgasms were too close together, or you’ve never had so many at one time. Finally, you came, and it felt like you just dumped every ounce of fluid from your body on top of him and soaked the hell out of the sheets. You were over-stimulated or dehydrated. You didn’t mean or want him to stop for good; you needed him to slow down or take a pause while you recovered. You really didn’t mean stop; you meant “Time out.”

      You didn’t know what else to say because you’re usually nowhere near as vocal or verbal. So finally, you said stop, but you meant don’t stop. You’ve gone so long without good sex in your relationships or marriage that when you got divorced and moved on, you came across someone who was more in sync with you sexually, and they fed off your enthusiasm and body language. They paid attention to what you liked more, and they gave a damn about your satisfaction where your past partners were always so selfish. It felt good to be turned into a slobbering, shaking, orgasmic sex puppet, and you can’t comprehend the concept of gravity right now.

      You couldn’t find anything else to say but stop; you really wanted to compliment him on how he was putting it down, but you twisted his head sideways when you told him to stop, then asked him why he stopped. He stopped because you told him to stop, and why wouldn’t he? You just needed a break, but when you told him to stop, that meant stop! What if you’d truly meant and wanted him to stop, but he didn’t? What if he kept going against your wishes and used the excuse he didn’t think you meant for him actually to stop because you were hurting or for another reason? Then he’d be in some serious shit. Blaming or criticizing why he stopped is wrong on your part. He stopped because he respected you and wanted to ensure you were still okay with what you were doing.

      There’s no grey area, no room for interpretation or mind-reading. “You know what I meant” doesn’t apply or exist in this situation. You may have meant something else, but it’s what came out of your mouth that counts. You’re frustrated because he’s frustrated you stopped him right before he blew his load inside of you. You weren’t the only one having some of the best sex you’ve ever had, and you threw a wrench in his good time, his stroke, and rhythm. He’s wondering what he did wrong and could get upset when he finds out he didn’t do anything wrong, but your reaction freaked him the hell out. Don’t giggle or laugh; it’s not funny; you made him nervous as hell.

      He’s not mad or blaming you for telling him to stop; he’s confused about why you’re upset when he did. Your mental overload made you say stop; instead of “Hold on a second; let me catch my breath.” There’s no reason for you to be upset because he stopped right before you had the earth-shattering orgasm you’ve been building up to. There’s no reason for you to be upset because he got upset. Your reaction gave him the impression he was doing something wrong or painful. All you had to do was start back up again or tell him to keep going.

      You know why he stopped; you freaked him out. It wasn’t funny the way you stopped him. You not only asked him to stop; you TOLD him to stop and were pushing him off. You owe him an apology if nothing else. You could owe him an explanation if that’s not something you usually say if you are the vocal type. You’re not going to be able to play innocent or claim a slip of the tongue when you’re normally able to communicate your pleasure or discomfort. When you ask him why he stopped, be ready to answer why you said STOP!


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JUL 18, 2021


      We all have pain; it lets us know we can still feel. Where and when we feel and how we can deal and heal; it may not be easy, but we have a choice. We can choose our hardships. Some pain lasts longer, and some pain will always be there. Pain lets us know we’re somewhere we shouldn’t be or need to be. Pain gives up something to look forward to the day the pain stops. Hard is difficult. Choose your hard; love can be hard and rewarding. Love can also be hard and damaging. Living with false love is hard. Losing love is painful. Missing out on love or a better love is hard.

      Are we hurting, or are we in pain? When you’re hurting, you can heal and move on eventually. However, the pain will always be there, and it’s something you’re going to have to deal with and learn to keep it harnessed without allowing it to consume you or hinder your future. So, will you continue to live in pain or choose the path that hurts for a while but you’ll heal?

      Moving on from a bad relationship may be hard, but staying in one where you’re going through physical, emotional, or financial abuse is painful. Losing weight is hard work but living with the physical and emotional effects of being overweight is painful. When there are so many things you want for yourself and your family, saving money and being financially responsible can be hard, but struggling from one month to the next is painful. Getting knocked down hurts; staying down is painful when everyone’s stepping on you to get where they’re going. Being bullied is painful; standing up for yourself will be hard.

      Doing the right thing versus doing nothing. Facing failure after trying your best is hard to accept. But, on the other hand, dreaming and missing out, only to see someone else succeed where you didn’t, will hurt like hell. Change is hard; staying in a bad situation is hard; choose which hard is harder. Drug and alcohol addiction’s hard; getting clean will be one of the most painful things you’ll ever do. Sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated and positive; dealing with negativity is hard as well.

      Admitting you were wrong versus holding onto your pride and losing something important to you. It was hard, to be honest, but keeping up with your lies was equally hard and potentially more painful the longer you kept lying.

      Having kids is hard as it is but having them when you’re not ready or taking care of them properly is even harder. Seeing a friend being hurt by someone when they’re unaware hurts, but you know the pain they’re going to go through if you tell them the truth. You’ll hurt them if they found out you knew about it, and you’ll hurt when you lose them as a friend. It hurts to see someone you know in pain, knowing you caused it by doing the right thing. Being a good friend hurts both of you. Being alone hurts just as much as risking rejection or heartbreak.

      Asking for help can be just as hard as allowing someone to help you. It’s hard to admit you don’t know and step aside to let someone else take over, but at least it’ll be done right. Putting your pride in your pocket will always be hard.

      Can’t, don’t, or won’t is hard; doing it anyway is even harder. Choosing which hard is harder, but not choosing or doing nothing will cause you more pain down the road. So choose hard now, choose hard later, choose to live with pain or the pain of losing what’s causing your pain. Whatever har you choose, make sure it’s worth it.

      Hurting by choice is something you do to yourself; it’s a product of your actions or the absence of action at all. Pain is what you get from someone or somewhere else. Physically or emotionally, being hurt and living with pain is hard; how you deal with it will be hard. Likewise, healing from hurt and pain will be hard. Decide which hard you can live the rest of your life with. Doing what’s right is hard; staying right where you are will be harder for you in the long run. You can choose to recover from your pain, or you can choose to live with being hurt. You can continue to be in pain, or you can begin your hard.

      Hard is what you allow for yourself; don’t accept what’s already hard in your life because you know it’s hard to change. Pain is what others cause you. Hardship is what happens whether you stay or go, so choose your hardship. Be careful when you give advice, or you’re telling someone to choose a specific hurt. A path of pain versus hurt versus hard; if you’re not going to be there the whole journey, it’s best to keep your opinions and thoughts to yourself, even if you’re asked. Fear, doubt, obligation, or pressure choose our hard, hurt, pain, stress, envy, anger, and jealousy. Our hatred for ourselves chooses how long we hurt. We can’t control how hard things will be when we finally decide, but at least when we choose the right hard, sooner or later, the pain will heal.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JUN 27, 2021


      You’re married, and you’re cheating; with someone else who’s married. You know they’re married, and that’s the point. That’s what you were looking for. For men, it’s the thrill and excitement of the chase. You convinced somebody to step out on their relationship and risk everything, their marriage, family, reputation, and integrity. Why? Because you wanted some ass. Married men chase married women because married women are safer for their relationship. There are no expectations, and the risk of being caught is lowered because he doesn’t have to convince her he’s a great guy or looking for a relationship. It’s about sex, even if they like each other and want more; their respective marriages prevent that from becoming an issue. He doesn’t have to worry about being caught with phone calls, texts, photos. She doesn’t have to worry about him being jealous or possessive.

      You intentionally go after people who belong to someone else because you think a younger man or woman will keep you young. You only have to lie and deceive one person, and they already know and trust you. Your husband or wife is too old to keep up, and you need someone who understands you’re still young at heart, just because now you drive a sports car. You lost weight, and they still look the same. You feel like you’ve evolved, and they don’t do it for you anymore; you need a change of pace that doesn’t include your spouse.

       You see cheating as adding thrill and excitement to your otherwise boring life, and you’re passing that thrill on to someone else. That’s why so many men lie about being police officers, firefighters, military, and so on. The danger and mystery of certain professions give the person being lied to a little “Edge of their seat” adrenaline boost. The same as women who cheat on their suburban husbands with the “Bad body” or a man who cheats on his “Soccer mom” wife with a stripper or party girl. They get to live out a fantasy; it’s a change of venue from what they’re used to, and they love it.

      When cheating with someone married when you’re married puts you both in a position where you still lie to each other, even though it’s unnecessary. You both know the other’s married, yet you’re still trying to “Date” in a modified fashion. You’re telling each other things that are pointless and ridiculous, especially when you know neither of you is going to end your marriage to be together. You’re trying to convince one another you’re a great person, worthy of trust, and interest in getting to know each other, and you both are soaking it up.

      Why are you wasting your breath? You both know your affair’s more about sex than anything; developing feelings for each other is the first sign you need to end that shit because that’s when the mistakes happen and how you get caught. You’re both after sensuality and intimacy; you’re boosting each other’s self-esteem or scratching an itch for good, better, or fantasy sex. You want the attention you’re not getting at home.

     There’s no reason to fake an orgasm. There’s no need to tell each other you’re better at sex than their spouse. You don’t have to lie about how good the sex is. There’s at least one person who’s worse than you are, the person they’re married to. It might not be even the spouse that sucks, and it could be you; there are only two options. Why would you say you’re thinking of them when you’re having sex with your spouse? Really? Is reminding each other that you’re fucking them AND someone else supposed to get you more turned on or in the mood to have sex? The same goes for oral; why would a woman tell a man his cum tastes better than her husband? Why would a man tell another woman it feels better to shoot his load inside of her, or she gets 3 times as wet as his wife does? He doesn’t realize she’s swallowing another man when he’s kissing her, and she’s going down on him when he’s going in raw with another woman!

     Compliments are always good and should be graciously accepted, but you don’t have to give them if you don’t mean them. Again, you’re not trying to court or date, and there’s no reason to fake or pretend. The point is to get what you need and be on your way or enjoy the time as it is in the moment, not set yourself up for anything serious later. If the sex is good, say it’s good; if it’s mediocre, don’t say anything. If you’re a 2-minute man, be proud of it; it’s not like she can go around the office and tell anyone without admitting she’s fucking around on her husband.

      Stop feeding each other bullshit. Stop trying to boost each other’s confidence or make you out to be soulmates meant to be together. You’re not Romeo and Juliette; you’re not star-crossed lovers, trapped in marriages your parents arrange for a heard of goats, horses, and land you chose to get married to someone else, now you’re cheating by your own choice because you think you deserve more than what you’re getting at home.

      Stop telling each other you’re better for them than their spouse. You have more in common. You wish the two of you could’ve met sooner. They wish they could pick up and leave to be with you. Their friends and family would like you better. Why the hell are you sweet-talking each other? You’re married friends with benefits! No one has ever given them the sex and orgasms you give them. They wish they could tell people about you, take you out, and show you off to everybody. You wish you could have them over or spend the night together. What’s the point of all that? It’s not going to happen, and you both know it. Again, neither of you will end your marriage, and you both know it; stop that romantic shit! Don’t be a cold asshole, but all that “I wish shit” is you both trying to convince yourselves what you’re doing isn’t as bad as it really is.

      You’re messing around with someone who’s married because your spouse won’t do things you want them to do; did you ask for it or demand it? Why’s it easier to bring it up to someone who belongs to somebody else instead of the person you’re married to? Why can’t you do for your spouse what you’ll do for someone else? I can’t tell what’s worse; being married while cheating with someone married and trying to act like you’re a couple, or being married, cheating with someone married and expecting them to leave their marriage for you.

      You’re both married, but because they’ve been married longer, you think they have all the answers and will be better for you than your own spouse. Neither of you realizes you’re both cheating while you’re married, and neither of you has the answer!

      Younger married men have more stamina, and they’re not interested in trying to get you away from your husband. He’s in his mid-late 20’s, and she’s in her mid-40’s; she knows what he’s after; there’s no reason to bullshit otherwise. Older married men are the opposite; he doesn’t realize that 20-something he’s been messing around with is interested in what he has, can, and will do for her and believes she truly loves him; she’s just stuck in a situation she can’t get out of at the moment. He’s convinced the married woman he’s been cheating with to leave her marriage, and now she’s in limbo, waiting for him to leave his marriage. It’s been 3 years; he’s not leaving.

      You tricked each other into believing your marriages are for convenience or the sake of your children. “Just wait until the kids get a little older.” Or “I just need to work some things out first.” Your spouse cheated, so the only way to forgive them was to show them how it felt, and the best way for you to do that was to cheat with the married man or woman your spouse thought you were cheating with in the first place.

      You’re both in marriages you want out of, but you don’t want to leave or end it. You complain to each other about your spouses, and it makes you want each other more. That’s not because talking about having bad sex with your spouse is an aphrodisiac; your sexual, financial, or emotional problems aren’t why you can’t stop having sex with each other. When you’re married, having sex with someone else who’s married while comparing and complaining about your spouse, it’s not about that person you’re cheating with; you’re fucking that other married man or woman because you’re pissed off at your own spouse. You’re cheating out of hate and/or anger at your own wife or husband.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAY 30, 2021


      It’s not society’s job to make us feel beautiful or sexy. We give others the power of responsibility in making us feel like shit when we don’t fit what they think is beautiful. How attractive we see ourselves is an internal issue that we alone control. How we feel about the way we look isn’t up to anyone else but us. No one can make us feel any way about ourselves without our permission. Good or bad, there’s nowhere else to look besides inside ourselves for acceptance.

      We’re responsible for how we see ourselves and value our own self-worth. When we don’t like what we see or how we feel about how we look, we’ll blame how everyone else has made it hard to be ourselves when there’s so much pressure to fit in. When it comes to physical beauty, it’s our own choice to chase and meet the expectations of others. If we fail or don’t get the results we want fast enough, we give up and sink into a deeper depression. That’s right around the time we compromise to salvage acceptance from others.

      Society’s ideas of what’s attractive and pretty have always been fucked up. We’re sheep, thought to believe we have to be built or look a certain way to be beautiful or desirable. If you wanted to be a model, you have to be so rail-thin, your torso looks like a fucking harp, and your ribcage was the strings. You have no tits or ass, and your face looked like you’ve been sucking on a vacuum-like dick while it’s on. Women starve and kill themselves, trying to be what other people think is beautiful, and men don’t make it any easier. Between the media, society, and even our friends, we all have that one person who doesn’t look like the rest of them. They’re the “Chubby friend with the great personality,” Or they’re not as pretty as men think they are, compared to the rest of the company she keeps.

      She’s the only one who had to pay to get into the club, or the only reason she didn’t have to was that it was her birthday. Her friends flirted with the doorman, and they endorsed her to get her in with the group. She’s the designated driver, the one who secures and guards the table and purses while the other prettier and thinner women dance on top of the bar and get drinks paid for them all night long. She’s the woman who doesn’t get asked to dance until less than an hour before the last call. The selection of available women has been reduced to an insulting low point, and she was the best last resort for some guy to try to take home and fuck.

      He’s always the wingman, the detour and distraction when his friends are all hooking up with the hot girls in the group, and there’s that one leftover at the table who wants to leave because nobody’s hitting on her. Her friends want to leave and go somewhere; all of them will get attention, but the guys don’t want them to leave just yet. That’s where the distraction guy comes in. His job is to keep the less desirable woman interested for the sake of the rest of the group. He’s not as good-looking, buff, or socially graceful, his personality’s a little off, and no one wants him, so why not use him to their advantage and keep their female version of himself occupied? It won’t occur to anyone that there could be a good-looking man or woman interested in the “Babysitter” or wingman, so they’re invited to serve a different purpose that’s beneficial to the group.

      If you’re happy with your height, weight, and how you look, then who gives a damn how society sees you? Why are you defining yourself by what people who don’t even know you think of you? Why are you starving yourself? Killing yourself in the gym, wearing trash bags under your clothes, stuffing into body-shaping torture devices? Why are you trying to meet someone else’s view of how you should look and feel about yourself? Why are you spending money on the trash you don’t need every month? You’re not going to find magic in a bottle at the supplement store and risk your cardio and respiratory health by trying to lose every pound in one workout! Why are you wedging into clothes that are obviously too small and tight for you? You’re afraid to admit you need to go up a size and put that “X” in front of the large you just pulled off the rack?

      Why let someone else tell you you’re overweight or unattractive? Why are you allowing other people to tell you you’re not good enough to attract someone attractive? What makes them better than you? Because they’re smaller or better looking? Because they have lighter or darker skin? Because they think the person you like is out of your league? Who sets the bar for the league? Other people, who look different from you?

      People put themselves through hell to keep up with how society has brainwashed them into believing they’re hotter than you. Why aren’t you good enough for anyone else? Because you’re not good enough for yourself and others can see it in everything about you. You can’t go a day without feeling there’s something about you that makes people not want you; that something is YOU!

      You talk bad about yourself all the time, and nobody wants to hear that shit day in and day out. You’ll run people off who actually like you because you don’t like yourself, and you accuse them of seeing you as an easy lay, or you think they’re talking to you and showing you the attention and interest out of pity. It’s natural for people to crave affirmation of their physical beauty, but there’s a line between needing affirmation and being obsessive.

      You think you’re too unattractive for someone to want because you’ve allowed others to convince you you’re not worth wanting. It would be best if you settled for whatever you can get. You make yourself a target by fucking anyone who shows you the least bit of interest because they told you how much they like you or just by being seen in public with you. You make yourself an easy fuck because you’ll give it up to anybody who approaches you at 1:30 am, and the bar closes at 2. They’ve been there the whole night and didn’t look your way even once; they didn’t just notice you, and they didn’t just walk through the door. They waited until there was no other option. You’re just happy as hell to be getting attention, and you hope by fucking on the first night, they’ll want to be with you.

      He thinks he can buy, gift, or good deed his way into a woman’s heart. He doesn’t think he has the personality or the looks to attract the number or caliber of women his friends do. His friends always leave him with the chubby girl with glasses and grown-up braces because he’s chubby, one with grown-up braces and glasses. He’ll let his friends limit his options because they refuse to give his looks or personality credit just because he doesn’t look the way they do.

      Do we ever stop to think the reason people judge us by the way we look is that they’re jealous of something we have that they don’t? Even though we may not look the way they think we should, has it crossed your mind that other people aren’t as secure in themselves as they want you to think they are? They’ll result in a grown-up form of bullying to compensate for their own shortcomings. The amount of “game” a man pretends to have is actually an indicator of how unsure of himself he truly is. Like a bully, he wants to dig after someone else and talk shit about them before their insecurities and faults come out, and others make them feel like shit.

      Be proud of what you look like or do something about it but because YOU want to do something about it. Don’t hurt yourself physically or emotionally trying to make someone else happy or accept you. If they truly like you, they’ll like you for being you. If you choose to change, change for yourself. People who are on your side and want the best for you will support your desire to change, not demand your change or criticize you for not being what they want you to be. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAY 23, 2021


     Your relationship needs to change, but you’ve let it go on for so long, it’s not going to happen. You’re complaining to other people about what’s going on in your personal life, and you want it to improve, but you’re asking for way too much because you haven’t said anything before, and you’ve allowed yourself to be ignored for so long. There’s no reason for anyone to change their way or how they treat you or disrespect the relationship.

    You want things to change, but they’re not going to; you want them to change, but they won’t. The only way for things to get better in your life and relationship is to change who you’re in a relationship with. You have to end it; walk away, and start over with someone new; someone you can start with a clean slate and communicate your needs, expectations, and dealbreakers. You’re not going to be able to do that with who you’re with now because you’ve been silent or accepting for far too long, and they’re used to how things are. You can’t expect them to change after years of being a certain way, and you tolerate it.

     If you want to be treated better, you’re going to find someone who wants to treat you better; the person you’re with now won’t step up and change their ways; you’re living in a world of make-believe. You may love them, and they’re the mother or father of your children, you’ve been together since high school, whatever. Their behavior isn’t going to change, and if they were treating you like shit back then, and they’re treating you like shit now, they’re going to continue treating you like shit because you’ve let them treat you like shit.

     The change has to come from you! You have to step up and change your situation. They’re not to bend when you threaten to leave if things don’t get better; they’re going to dare you to walk out the door. You’ve threatened to leave before, and they called your bluff. You left for a while, but you turned right around, and they made you beg to come back.

     They’re going to say you’ll never find anyone else like them. They’re going to make you feel like they’re the ones who have to put up with you and how messed up you are. They know you need someone in your life; you can’t be alone. You’re not happy by yourself because you’re not happy with yourself, and they know it; they’ll play and depend on it. They encourage the poor image you have of yourself; that’s why they won’t change. They know if you push too hard for improvement, all they have to do is disappear for a few days or treat you worse than they normally do, so when they go back to their regular ways, it seems like they’ve improved how they treat you.

     They don’t have to change because you won’t change; you won’t change because you’re scared to ask for more; you might lose your relationship. You won’t ask for more because you’ve accepted the scraps from their plate for so long; they’re used to eating the full meal and leaving what’s leftover for you. You’re not going to get your equal or fair share from them, and you’re going to have to find balance with someone else.

     This is your life; as long as you stay where you are, your sex is how it’s going to be until you die, cheat, or leave. You’ve dealt with the same mediocre to abysmal sex for so long, and they have reason to do anything different. You’ve allowed them to be selfish and control the entire relationship. You’re not going to increase or decrease the frequency of sex; you’ll get it when you get it and on their terms. They’re going to keep watching porn and making you do whatever turns them on, including sharing you with their friends or cutting you off when you piss them off.

     Don’t ask for romance and affection. When you go out, he’s used to ignoring you while checking out other women; she’s used to you not saying anything when a man buys her a drink or asks her to dance because you don’t like to. Don’t get pissed off now because you don’t like seeing another man’s crotch grinding on your lady; they’ve done it countless times in front of you before without so much as a peep. He’s used to leaving you by yourself to flirt with other women. Why should they change now? You’ve given them a hall pass for this long, and they’re not going to let you put them on lockdown now.

     The drugs, drinking, and all-night partying, with or without you. You’ve kept your mouth shut up to this point, so keep your mouth shut that much longer or leave; those are your only 2 choices. You’ve gone to pick them up after a weekend-long drug or drinking binge, and that is what they expect you to do. You pull up and see them exchanging phone numbers, or they’re not where they’re supposed to be, but out in the parking lot in someone’s back seat; they tell you they were talking and getting high, and you believe them. You don’t even go out together, and you’re always stuck at home because someone has to watch the kids and that someone is always YOU!

     Do you want them to stop treating you like shit and talking crazy? After all this time? Seriously? They’re wondering what the hell is wrong with you; they think you must be out of your mind. They don’t see anything wrong with how they talk to you because that’s how they’ve talked to you the whole 3 years you’ve been together. They’ll blame your family, co-workers, or new friends for putting bullshit in your head when you start speaking up for yourself and telling them they need to change.

     Chores? You always did the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of the house and the kids; why should they lift a finger to help now? You did just fine before you got that job. They’ll say you need to quit and go back to taking care of the house; even though the extra income keeps the family head well above water, the idea of them stepping up and helping out now makes no sense.

    You haven’t required your kids to do anything to earn what you give them in addition to the necessities. They behave like assholes at home, but now they’re doing it in public, and you want them to calm down and act right? You pay their car insurance, cell phone, music, and game subscriptions and allow them to run around the house like jackals. You knew they were bullies, and you treated it like a phase they would grow out of. You’re afraid of your children; they’re raising their hand to you when they “Lose their temper”.

     You spoil them rotten, and now you want to teach them the value of hard work? You want them to start doing chores, and they basically told you to go to hell. You can’t get rid of or walk away from your children, but you can cut all their paid privileges off! When they raise on you or threaten you, call the police. They can start doing chores and earning an allowance. If they think they’re so grown, they can come and go as they please, drink, smoke pot, and have sex, and throw things at you, and then they’re old enough to get the hell out and support themselves.

     This is your life, for as long as you choose to stay where you are. Things aren’t going to get better for you until you leave. There’s no fixing your situation. They were shitty with money when you met, they’ve been shitty with money the length of your relationship, but now you have a house, and you need them to step up and be more responsible? That’s not going to happen; the house is in YOUR name; it’s ultimately up to YOU to make sure the bills are paid because their credit score has less value than the number on the jersey of their favorite basketball player.

     They won’t try to change to keep you, not even temporarily. They’re still going to knock you upside the head when they think you’re talking back or getting out of pocket. They know you’re not going anywhere because you bring the money home and hand it over even though you’re the only one who works. On the other hand, you have no money of your own, no job, no car, and they’ve made you alienate your entire support system, so you have no one to go to for help. You’re a prisoner of your own acceptance.

     It’s been years, and now you want things to change. The only change you control is who you’re in a relationship with. Change won’t happen here; it’s not going to happen with the person you’re with; you’ve let things go on far too long, and there’s nothing you can about it except nothing, like it, or leave. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


APR 28, 2021


     You broke up, and you’re trying to have a half & half relationship; you’re still doing everything you were doing when you were together; you just dissolved the label of being in a monogamous relationship. You both acknowledge the breakup and tell people you’re single, but you’re not. You don’t act like it at all.

      You didn’t mean it the way you said it when you said it. As soon as it left your mouth, it turned into the thickest milkshake you’ve ever had, but the cherry got stuck in the straw, so you couldn’t suck it back in before they said “Whatever” and walked away. Pride kept you from taking it back because you didn’t want to look weak or indecisive; you wanted to avoid being one of those “Psychos” men and women talk about to other people when they’re talking about their ex.

     You may have broken up, but you’re still together; you’re only fooling yourselves. All you did was tell each other you’re no longer “Official.” You took your exclusive commitment to each other and made it an open relationship. You both acknowledged the breakup, but you don’t act like it. You enlisted yourself into the side piece military and awarded each other the rank of Captain. Your “Contract” with one another may have been terminated, but your practical interaction hasn’t changed other than being open to sampling offers from other people.

     Apparently, there’s a difference between breaking up and not being together anymore; clarification and affirmation are needed to define which category your relationship just fell into. One means you’re pissed off, and they don’t want to look at you right now; they’re mad and need to be away from you for a while, but they’ll be back when they calm down. The other means it’s done; they’re over you and the relationship, and they want you gone for good.

     You can’t trust phrases like “It’s over,” “We’re done,” “I can’t do this anymore,” and “I’m leaving.” Back in the day, when a woman told you she was done with you, and it’s over, that’s what she meant; you weren’t together anymore. You both were single and free to move forward; there was no need to follow up on it. Times have changed.

     You didn’t say it unless you meant it. In this day and time, there’s a grey area hidden within this statement. When a man says he’s done, he wants you to do whatever he wanted you to do or not do to stop him from actually leaving. When a woman breaks up with her man, she’s telling him if he doesn’t get his act together, this is what’s going to happen.

     When you’re breaking up or being dumped now, you have to ask if it means you’re no longer together and if you’re free to see and meet other people. Just because you broke up doesn’t necessarily mean you’re single or back on the market.; it doesn’t mean they won’t see you as a cheater if you meet someone else during the breakup. You may have broken up, but you should’ve known it was temporary.

You’re automatically supposed to know which category you fall into. As soon as you ask, you’re putting your cards and your intentions out on the table. You’ll either sound excited and anxious to be single again, which will piss your partner off, or you’ll be pissed off because they’re throwing your relationship away over what you think is trivial.

     Neither of you really wants to break up, and you’re using it as a behavior modification tactic that just blew up in your face. They’re telling you there’s something that needs fixing, and they want you to hurry up and fix it so you can get back together.

     You didn’t want to break up in the first place, but you were pissed, and that’s the first thing that came out of your mouth. You got sick of asking for the same things over and over again. You said it was over, but that’s not what you meant. You used it as a threat and warning to get their attention, to make them notice and take you seriously. Like a suicide attempt, you swallowed a bottle of pills and ran a razor blade across the wrists of your relationship, trying to get them to change, but you locked the door from the inside and cut way too deep; they couldn’t get to you in time to save the relationship.

     Breaking up was your cry for help in the relationship, not an end to it; that’s why you’re still dating and having sex; you’re hoping to dissolve what you said into a glass of water and hope they drink it all before they realize you used breaking up like Rohypnol to get them to do what you wanted or stop them from doing what pissed you off in the first place.

     You’re the only people who are convinced you’re not together anymore in your half and a half relationship. Nothing’s changed physically since you “Broke up.” You’re arguing and fighting less because you’re both pretending you can walk away, so there’s no point. Your sex is ten times better now because she’s more open, expressive, and adventurous without feeling like she has an image to maintain. He sees this situation as a thrill because he’s having “Unattached” sex instead of a relationship, and he gets to do it with someone he already knows. He can go out and meet other women now and keep her as a pseudo “Sidepiece.”

     You told your friends you broke up, but they don’t believe you because you don’t act like it. You tell other people you’re single, and it doesn’t bother either of you because you subconsciously know you’re still together. You’re trying to win the best supporting actor in a breakup role. You have coffee, a dog park, dancing, and dinner dates with other people, but you don’t want anything past that; you’re not ready. No matter how many people you tell you’re single, you’re the only people who actually believe it!

     Everyone who knows you knows when you broke up, it was because you were pissed off, and instead of saying you were pissed off, you got impulsive and ended the relationship. As soon as you said it, you wanted to take it back, but then they said “Fine” and threw a 6” titanium wall a mile wide between you and blocked you from going after them.

     You claim not to be together anymore, and you’re both seeing other people, but you made an agreement not to have sex with anyone else but each other, and you’ve honored that agreement without question.

     Your breakup allowed you to equalize your time between each other, friends, family, and your alone time. Your breakup ended the expectation and obligation of spending every waking minute together, talking to each other, and doing things for one another. You’re still spending the night together, calling and texting, just not as frequently. You don’t have to account for your whereabouts, and if you don’t feel like doing anything or going anywhere, you don’t have to. You’re broken up, but does that mean you’re not together anymore also?

     Half broken up half together doesn’t work; it doesn’t even really exist. You’re letting each other have their cake and eat it too because you’re too stubborn to admit you shouldn’t have broken up in the first place.

     Instead of breaking up, you could’ve said you needed to take a walk, drive, run, or go into the other room and not be disturbed for a while. You could’ve asked them to do the same. When you calmed down, you could’ve come back and talked about it or hoped you both realized how silly your argument was, and it dissipated on its own.

     You said it because you meant it for about 3 seconds, hoping it would change your situation, but you put yourself in a casket. You used the breakup too many times, and your partner’s sick of it and told you to stay gone. The half and half will eventually come to an end without the results you were hoping for. One of you may enjoy the situation as is and want to continue while the other wants to get back together or end things permanently.

     Men send their lady to work with a guy who’s been into her from day one, and nothing’s keeping her from going out with him now; Women break up with their man and give him a taste of what single life at the club is all about.

     We’re impulsive by nature, and sometimes we will say and do things we wish we could take back, but ego and pride will have us continue the route we’re going, hoping things will work out in our favor. Half will and half won’t. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAR 28, 2021


     You’re ready to have a baby. You want to get married. You want a family, and your biological clock is going haywire! You’re in love, and he loves you. You sincerely believe you have the perfect man. He’s a great man; he’s never given you any reason to doubt him, question his whereabouts, or think he’s doing anything but what he tells you and what he’s supposed to be doing.

     He’s not out in the streets, chasing women. He’s not drinking every night, smoking pot, beating up on you, hanging out at the strip club, or playing any of those stupid-ass games men play. He works hard, and he comes home. He’s a great example and will be a damn good husband and role model for your kids.

      But you’re living with his parents or with yours. You want to get married, but you’re living in a basement. You want to have a baby, but you’re in a bedroom in your brothers, sisters, or soon-to-be in-law’s house. Everything you own fits into that tiny bedroom. You work, and he works two jobs. It’s just the two of you; now you want to bring a baby into the scenario?

     Your biological clock is ticking, and you’re letting it take over your common sense. You got pregnant, and you don’t have your own place. You want to get pregnant, and you don’t even have a car to get back and forth to your medical appointments if you did get pregnant. You can’t afford the prenatal care you need or take time off when you give birth. You have to rely on friends, family, or your man and pray his car runs well and holds up.

     You relate his not wanting a baby right then and there as a reflection of his commitment to your relationship. That’s how you want and need him to prove he’s all in. Now he has to work harder and longer, and you’ll see less of him, and you’ll take it as his not wanting to be around or avoiding you and the baby. You’ll feel ignored, and he’ll feel unappreciated.

     That’s not the ideal situation for a man, especially a good man. He doesn’t want to have a baby in someone else’s house. He doesn’t want to get married and live in a damn basement. He respects your biological clock, but you refuse to respect his “Life clock.”

     You have your biological clock; he has his life clock. He wants to wait. He’s not ready. You want a baby, but ask yourself, does your man have to job he wants? Does he have the career he wants? Is he making money to raise a child without having to go on government assistance to take care of you AND a baby? Does he even have health insurance to make sure you’re getting the best care possible? If not, then he’s not in a place where he’s comfortable or ready to have a child or get married. He’s not dismissing you; he wants the best for you, the baby, and your life together. He wants to be secure before taking such a giant leap. It’s not that he doesn’t want what you want; he doesn’t want to struggle to give you what you want. He doesn’t want to go through what his parents went through.

     He remembers how hard it was for his mom and dad to raise him and his siblings on government programs. He remembers having to take public transportation everywhere, having to swallow their pride and ask for favors or rides to the grocery store or doctor’s appointments. He remembers being made fun of for wearing old clothes donated by other kids’ parents. He doesn’t want that for his child. He doesn’t want to have to choose between paying rent and eating. Diapers and baby formula are expensive, and trying to get an appointment if your child gets sick at the public clinic is a nightmare. He wants to be able to give you and his child what you need, and he’s not where he wants to be to do that.

     You don’t care about the struggle; you’ll make it work because at least you’ll have a baby, and you’ll be married. That doesn’t work for him because when you’re broke and living in a shitty scenario, you won’t be the one who’s called a bad husband or irresponsible for having a child when you’re in such a shitty living situation; HE will! He’ll be the one who’ll get shit on because he can’t take care of his family. He doesn’t want the struggle. He recognizes and validates your biological clock, and it’s not that he doesn’t care about what you want. Still, he’s hoping you understand his perspective and how he feels about being financially secure, independent, and in a better place in life. He’s not ignoring you; he’s trying to get you to understand he has a clock as well.

     Your clock is easier and takes less time to satisfy than his. You’re delusional in thinking you both can concentrate on fulfilling your clock while he chases his. He can make your dream of being married parents a reality while he works on his dreams. You don’t understand or refuse to accept that both your clocks intertwine and are equally important to each of you. You feel yours is more important because you’re in the “Happy wife, happy life” mentality. You want a baby, and he should, too, if he wants to prove his commitment to you and your relationship. His clock takes too long. He can work on his clock while you’re struggling to raise a baby, and he’s trying to support a family.

     You tell him if you had a baby and were married, that’s all you’d need to be happy, and then he’d be able to work on HIS clock, but he’s smart enough to know that’s not true. He knows after the baby comes, you’ll be complaining that he’s always working, or he never has time for you or the baby. He knows you won’t be happy; he’s looking farther into the future than you are.

     Your families can help; your friends can help but have they actually offered or volunteered to help. Are you assuming they’re going to help because they’re your friends and family? The truth is, most of them won’t want to babysit, loan you money, or help you out. Nobody told you to have a baby; they told you it was a bad idea when you talked about it BEFORE you got pregnant; they told you getting married wasn’t going to solve your feelings of insecurity. You made your own bed, so they think you should lie in it.

     What about the financial aspect when it comes to the health of the mother or the baby? What if there are complications during the pregnancy? What if there’s an issue with the birth or something goes wrong? What happens when you find out government assistance won’t pay for needed treatments or cover the cheapest option? What happens when you have to see your child in a shitty state-funded hospital, surrounded by staff who don’t really care about you as a patient. They hate working there, but at least they’re getting their student loans paid off! He’ll feel like hammered baby shit because he didn’t have the coverage to make sure you had the best care. You made your biological clock more important than his wanting the best for you and his baby!

     You feel like time’s slipping away, and he’s thinking about how hard it’ll be to get married and raise a child in the situation you’re in. You’d rather apply for government aid than wait; after all, that’s what it’s there for, right? He doesn’t want that for you and his family. He doesn’t want to depend on other people; not only is his pride at stake but his position as a man in the relationship.

     Don’t use having a child or getting married as an ultimatum. Your biological clock will get so strong you’ll use it as a threat to leave if it’s not satisfied on your terms. He wants the same things you want, but he wants to give them to you without struggle or hardship. He doesn’t want to be working two jobs and never see you or his children. He doesn’t want to borrow money to get you a ring or swing by the courthouse to have a judge sign a certificate. He wants to give you the wedding you deserve. He wants to do right for his children and his family.

     With so many men having kids and not taking care of them, you have a good man who wants to be in a good place to be a great husband and father, You’ll tell him you can get married now and have a ceremony when he can afford it, but that’s not what you want either. You’re talking out your ass by way of your biological clock. The only way to prove himself is with a ring and a baby.

     You think getting married will keep him faithful. You think having a baby will fix your problems and bring you closer together. You think if you wait too long, you’ll be too old by the time he’s truly ready, but he wants to provide for you and the baby on his own. You have a family timetable, and he has a timetable for his life. He’s not saying his clock is more important than yours, but you’re sure as hell making him feel like yours is more important than his. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAR 13, 2021


     Why do good women choose shitty men? Why would a woman with so much going for herself socially, economically, or professionally prefer men who’d choose laziness, the streets, and lack of ambition over someone who has their shit together? Before you answer, look at the type of woman you’re talking about and consider what she may have gone through to where she is now.

     On the outside, you might think she grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth. You assume she was pretty and popular, dated the quarterback, captain of the basketball team, or whoever. You thought her grades were always on point and her extracurricular activities read like a professional resume before she was even out of high school. You assume that she is now she has the best life growing up, but you don’t know shit about her. Some women have had some serious shit go down in their lives no one knows, and she won’t talk about it. No one understands her struggle or where she comes from except a guy who’s still in the streets.

     Not to say men don’t go through shit either, but they also don’t normally take on any interest or responsibility in women they can’t benefit from. If being involved with her and her situation seems like too much work, he won’t put in the interest or effort. He wants a woman with her shit together to help him get his shit together.

     Women choose these types of men because they make them feel safe and secure. He’s a fighter. He’s been fighting for every inch of respect he has, and she’s part of that respect. He came to a single-parent home where he had to be the man and look out for his mom and/or his sisters. No one’s going to treat her like shit or take advantage of her anymore because he won’t let that happen. She believes he’ll protect and defend her with his life, and she’ll do the same, not completely knowing what that means. She’s been bullied, molested, or hurt, and he came to her rescue, and it felt amazing to have someone to fight for her without pause, even against her own father.

     He doesn’t care if none of her friends or family likes him; they don’t have to, but they will respect him and her, and he’s not afraid to stand up for the both of them and demand it. They both came from abusive homes, and where she was able to overcome and make something of herself, he wasn’t as lucky. Her fight didn’t last as long as his because she had a support system he didn’t. They understand each other, and even though they’re older, they still have that fight in common. She feels responsible and obligated to him because he defends her and stands up for her. No one’s ever made her feel like she mattered, and she loves being the center of his world, even if he does get a little crazy jealous and possessive. To her, his love for her is unmatched.

     She has abandonment issues stemming from her relationship with her father, whether he was in her life or not. He’s a substitute for an absent father or a continuation of taking care of the household if it was just her and her father growing up. She takes pride in her housewife or homemaker role, the same as when it was just her and her father. He takes care of her, provides for her, and fills a part of her heart that’s both paternal and romantic but separate. She gets to do still the things that made her feel valued and appreciated in her home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Plus, she gets a man who wants to satisfy her physical and sexual needs as well. He makes her feel needed in the family role she’s used to living in.

     Women turn to those types of men to fill a hole her father left in her due to emotional or sexual abuse. Her father was the catalyst to her depression. When she detached herself from her father, she chose a man who reminded her of him, and that situation turned her hypersexual. She may give the impression she’s a “Good girl,” but she’ll sleep with any man, any place, and at any time. She lets her man dominate and humiliate her sexually because that’s what she’s used to, and submission is the only way she knows how to show her love. If she has a man, he’ll think it’s about him and their sexual chemistry, but not to her; she’s having sex with her father by having sex with him or other men.

     Women like this will seek approval from any man who’ll give her the attention or affection she missed out on when she was younger. Sexual attention was how her father or other male role models showed their “Love” for her, and she continued that into her adult life. She believes she has to sexually submit to men in order to earn their love and commitment. Men will take advantage of that and exploit it to the fullest.

     He fills her need to nurture. Her instincts and drive to take care of him are so strong, it blinds her to whatever bullshit he’s doing, which can damage her beyond repair. It doesn’t occur to her that this is a grown-ass man who won’t lift a finger to help himself and will battle her when/if she tries to upgrade him. He doesn’t want to be upgraded; he’s happy laying on her couch and letting her be the breadwinner. He wants to be taken care of, not rescued.

     His “Hustle” is their hustle. Instead of going out and getting a job, he’s in the streets, hustling, selling drugs, doing package runs, stealing, whatever. She knows what he does when he leaves her place in the morning, but she doesn’t see it as a crime; she sees it as his pride keeping him from sitting on her couch doing nothing. She tells him she’ll take care of things while he goes back to school or looks for a decent job, but his hustle won’t allow that. He won’t be caught dead, eating her food and living under her roof without bringing something to the table and working fast food is beneath him. He’s working for temporary employment agencies, even standing out, searching for day labor type work. He hustles for every dollar, and he brings it home to her, even though she works and earns more than enough that he doesn’t need to. She sees his hustle as another way to prove there’s no way any other man could love and care about her the way he does.

     He’s not interested in being self-sufficient. He doesn’t want to learn to fish; he’s comfortable with her buying, cooking, and serving the fish. She’s obsessed with having someone as dependent on her as he is. He fills her need to take care of someone. She wants to save and rescue him from himself and the life he chooses to continue to live by his own choice. He’ll come up with every excuse not to look for a job, so she’ll find him one and do everything for him, short of going on the interview in his place. Even then, he’ll find a reason not to go or accept the job if offered.

     She’s been raised for “Service.” Her mother was a housewife, and her father was the breadwinner. He brought home the bacon, and she and mom cooked it any way he liked it because he took care of them and all their needs. That was his role, and her role was to keep him happy. She was raised to believe a woman’s priority was to the home. She takes pride in her ability to keep her home in order and still rock the business world.

     She has no problem with the word “Submission.” She knows her place in their relationship and allows him to be the man, even though he contributes absolutely nothing. She embraces her “Housewife” role, and she has no problem with it; she actually craves it. He values her ability and choice to maintain a feminine role, but he’s okay with her working because he doesn’t have to; he doesn’t have to strive for better. Her strength and independence at work are encouraged. He likes that she can be dominant when making that money and submissive when she gets home.

     She lets him do whatever he wants, as long as he comes home to her. She knows what he’s doing in the streets, but as long as she’s his number one, that’s all that matters. She knows he’s selling drugs, in a gang, and getting into shit every night. She’s had her place searched a few times, and she’s no stranger to police visits, inquiring about his whereabouts, and she knows the drill. Her father was the same way, and her mother let it happen. She can’t say for sure he’s messing around behind her back, but she trusts he isn’t. She doesn’t think about other women coming at him; she expects that. Her friends tell her he ain’t shit, but his need for her outweighs her common sense, and she earns more than enough to share with him.

     Women choose the worse men possible because she loves the thought of loving someone and being in love. She doesn’t think a man who has options won’t and can’t love and appreciate how a man who has next to nothing can. She sees his jealousy, possessive nature, and maniacal expressions of love as the only true love. When he gets out of pocket and angry when other men look at her or think she’s looking at other men, it excites her and makes her feel wanted, desired, and needed. She enjoys being the center of her world.

     He opened her up and showed her a type of sex she never thought existed. She grew up thinking sex was one thing, and he took it to another level: then 5 more levels past that. She was raised to think sex was more about procreation than recreation, and he turned her out from the bedroom to the back seat to bend her over halfway out the trunk in a dark parking lot. Her experiences up to that point were child’s play compared to what he showed her. She’d never had an orgasm before, or she’s only been able to have one by her own doing, and he has her moaning and squirting like a water fountain every time they get together. He’s still a lazy piece of shit who has no ambition, and he’s okay with doing nothing while she takes care of him. He treats her like shit, and she knows he’s out, doing her dirty, but when he puts that dick down on her, all is forgiven.

     Women choose shitty men because she’s good woman. She’s a good woman because both parents raised her, and she was tired of being a “Good girl.” The expectations of doing the right thing all the time became too much for her, and she wanted to try something “Wrong” for a change, and it was liberating. She spent so much time living for everyone else’s expectations and finally decided to start living for herself. Good women choose shitty men because shitty men don’t ask for much more than what they’re used to because they’re not used to having much, to begin with. 



Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


MAR 7, 2021


     Nobody wants to be shitty at sex. It's even worse when you feel inside yourself that you're not up to par. No matter what she tells you, it's not good enough. No matter how she reacts or chooses to show it if it doesn't meet your standard, you're not convinced, and it shows in the way you act when you have sex, and she doesn't respond the way you want her to or thinks she should. It doesn't matter how she shows her satisfaction; if it doesn't fit what you think it should be, it's not sincere or good enough.

     You try to dictate how she shows how much she enjoys sex with you. Forget how she shows she likes the dick and enjoys what you're putting down; if it doesn't go along with what you want, she could give you a standing ovation and ask for a dick encore, and it wouldn't make any difference. You're focused on what you think is an acceptable display of satisfaction, and everything else is smoke up your ass.

     Every time she has an orgasm, she becomes paralyzed and gets the “Taser face”; that looks on her face like somebody just hit her with a taser gun. She can bust a nut, then slump over like she was just hit with a ray gun set to “Stun.” She can barely take the dick, and she’s so exhausted sometimes you’ll put her right to sleep. You can hit that shit from behind and have her screaming, crying, and begging for more or for you not to stop, but if she doesn’t brag to her friends about how good your dick is, none of that other stuff matters. Your ego’s at stake, and no matter what other ways she shows you she like your sex, it’s that one thing she doesn’t do that gets under your skin that makes you think she’s not into it.

     You’re focused on why she doesn’t get instantly wet when you’re ready. In your mind, if she truly enjoyed it, she’d be wet and ready at the drop of a hat. You don’t consider it takes the average woman 3-4 times longer to get physically aroused than men, even though she may be instantly turned on. When she does orgasm, she turns your bed into a jacuzzi or wading pool because she squirts so hard and so much.

     Because it took her a few minutes to get wet enough for you to get all the way inside, you’ll accuse her of not wanting you or not being in the mood. It could be outside factors, such as age, medications, etc. Even though she gives you 3-4 other indicators she likes and craves your sex, that one thing will turn you into a whiny little bitch who complains that your brother’s piece of cake is just a little bit bigger than yours, instead of just enjoying your own slice.

     You want your woman to show her satisfaction, according to your standard. If she doesn't show it the way you want her to, you'll get pissed, throw a tantrum, and not want to fuck at all. If things don’t go your way, you’re taking your bat and ball and going home so nobody can play. You throw blame and accusations at her, or you'll become obsessed about getting her to do that one thing she doesn’t that makes you feel like a man.

    She has no issues letting you know you're at the top of the list when it comes to how good you are and how good it feels every time you have sex. Her reactions will let the average man know he's handling his shit, but there's something about you who needs to have it shown your way. All or most of your ex-girlfriends could barely stand up without stumbling after you were done; that’s primarily because they were smaller or not as experienced with some of the positions you put them in. Maybe they weren’t as limber as the woman you’re with now. Maybe they didn’t stretch beforehand, and she does because she knows you bring that damage with the dick, and she wants to be ready for it. Perhaps she’s more athletic than your ex’s.

     She could be covered in sweat and panting like a thirsty puppy when you’re done. But if she doesn’t have the “Dizzy legs” when she rolls out of bed to clean up or shower, you’ll ask her what went wrong that she didn’t stumble over because that’s how she should respond, according to you. Because of that ONE thing she DIDN’T do, she didn’t enjoy it.

     She doesn’t moan the way you want her to. She grabs your head and says, you eat pussy like a king, but her toes don’t curl when you go down on her. She doesn’t call you daddy when her ass cheeks are slapping against your thighs, but she always wants it from behind and begs you not to stop. She doesn’t make choking or gagging sounds when she’s sucking your dick, but she does get watery eyes and a runny nose.

     She sweats like a slave on the run for freedom when you’re fucking, but she doesn’t get light-headed. She compliments you every chance she gets, even when you’re not in the middle of it, but because she doesn’t brag to her friends as your last girlfriend did, that’s what you focus on. Why the dick isn’t good enough to brag to her friends about will be his focus. The sad but funny thing is that he won’t tell HIS friends how good she is when it comes to sex. Most men don’t want to hear it anyway because they can’t have it. They don’t want to hear how good head or pussy is that they can’t have.

     So, she does what you want her to do, even though it’s not in her nature. You know it’s not organic behavior, and she’s only doing it to make you happy. You don’t care; you want her to show her satisfaction the way YOU want her to convince you she’s honest, genuine, and sincere. She gives you so much, but it doesn’t involve what YOU want her to do; the 5-6 things she does naturally doesn’t hold a birthday candle to what you WANT her to do, and that other shit means nothing to you until she stops doing it. THEN you’ll wonder why she stopped doing what you used to ignore for something she’s faking.

     Don’t force her to lie to you, to make you feel better, much less just because of one thing she doesn’t do when she does so much more. You’ll put your woman in a position to fake her satisfaction, to make shit up as you go, and to salvage your ego. She’ll fake an orgasm or lie to you about the experience to keep you from hounding her. If your sex drops off, she’ll avoid telling you because she knows you’ll turn bitch, and you won’t want to have sex at all unless it’s a quick fuck for you to get off. Stop worrying about what she isn't doing and be proud of what she is doing. Please stop trying to be the very best she’s ever had; it’s not going to happen, especially when it comes to middle-aged or older women. You’ll put her in a position to fake it until you make it, and she’ll fake it for the sake of it. 


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


FEB 14, 2021


     You love your kids, and your hope is they'll grow up with good morals and judgment, along with a decent sense of right and wrong. We all know that's not going to be the case all the time; otherwise, the prisons would be empty, there would be no need for rehab facilities, and death would be a product of natural causes.

     No matter how much we hope or how hard we try to raise our children, to be honest, law-abiding citizens, the truth is we know when our kids ain't shit. They're not about shit, not trying to be shit, and they don't give a shit about not being shit. Our kids are thieves, burglars, armed robbers, pedophiles, rapists, drug users, drug dealers, and even murderers. So my question is simple yet complicated; Why do women fall on the floor and act like a fucking fool when their "Baby boy" is sentenced to life without the possibility of parole AFTER he's been tried and convicted for multiple murders. They'll get 20+ years for drugs and act like they were innocent fucking saints caught in the wrong place at the wrong time when they're killed because of their lifestyle?

     People give their kids names like Christian, Angel, Jesus. Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, with the hope they'll live up to their biblical namesake, but that shit won't happen.

     Parents sit in court, hoping and begging for mercy when their child's about to be sentenced. What about the 10-year-old girl he raped? Who speaks for the man he murdered because he was in his "Hood" wearing a hat with the wrong fucking color or baseball team on it? How about when your kid gets knocked the fuck out and kicked in the teeth while he's unconscious because he's a documented bully?

     I realize the love for our children is unconditional, but your daughter's a drug addict who broke into someone's house with her boyfriend for drug money, and the homeowner was killed during the robbery. Your son was shot on the same street corner he sneaks out to sell drugs on every Friday night. You bang your fist, cry, and sling snot across the 3" glass that separates you and your child because they drank or smoked pot, got behind the wheel of a stolen car and ran over someone else's child while they were riding their bike home from school or a friend's house. Your son shot up the wrong house, thinking it was a rival gang member, and killed mother and father sitting on their couch and watching television.

     Your children will fight, shoot, stab and kill another person because they wear a specific color but won't defend their country. You stand at their grave when they're killed in a drive-by shooting in retaliation for a drive-by they committed 2 weeks prior. Your drug-addicted daughter overdosed on cocaine. You hold candlelight vigils, have car washes, airbrush their names and faces on Rest in Peace t-shirts. You raise your fists in the air and curse God when their life sentences come down. Your son molested 8 girls under the age of 13, and you beg the judge and the parents of those children to ask the judge to go easy on them. Who speaks for the victims? Where's the compassion for them?

     In the media, we're more focused on the criminal than the victim. Why did they do it? Let's spend $100,000 of taxpayer money on a trial, witnesses, experts, etc., to conclude your child's a fucked up outcast of society who SHOULD be locked away. Your child wasn't innocent; he was the drug-dealing murderer who met the same fate as his victims. She's not your little girl anymore, and she's a grown woman, a grown woman who drowned or smothered her baby because it wouldn't stop crying.

     Let's get down to it. Your kid killed somebody else's kid. You kid got his ass kicked because he's a fucking bully. Your grown-ass son who lives in your basement posed as a child and went online lured another person's kid to a meeting place where they took her and assaulted her. Your child got high and decided to break into someone's home and was killed by the homeowner. Your child sells drugs and has killed others he saw as competition to protect his drug business. Your daughter has HIV and knowingly has unprotected sex without telling her partners. Your son's a pedophile. Your daughter stole money and drugs from her boyfriend and got the fuck beat out of her.

     You want to fall to the ground, kicking and screaming like a warrior heading into battle at your son's funeral, but he's a fucking drug dealer. He kills people every day with the poison he sells. He's killed people who owed him money or sold drugs to. He's attacked and killed other people for being in the wrong, "Hood" He's going to prison because he can't keep his hands off little boys. Your child's a serial rapist. He doesn't understand the concept of a woman saying, "No!" He's going to fuck her, with or without her permission. Your child doesn't deserve the mercy you're begging for when they end up in front of the judge; where's the compassion for his victims? You can't beg for forgiveness for them AFTER they're dead. They died the way they lived. Do you want justice for the death of your child? The chance for their justice went right out the fucking window when they rolled it down during that last drive-by that cost him HIS life. Stop begging for mercy and leniency. Get off your knees crying and screaming as if your child was an angel who didn't do anything wrong to anyone; they weren't innocent. Justice? It's a high price, and someone has to pay for it. Your child wrote the check for his victims' justice with his own freedom and signed it with his own blood at his funeral.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JAN 31, 2020


     We've all been there; you've made it to the promised land. You're on your way to the bedroom for some loving, and all systems go. Everything's progressing exactly the way you planned. She's looking fine as hell and starving to ride you like a racehorse. You've been thinking about her all damn day, and you can't wait to flip her over and hit it slow, deep, and hard. Your engine's going at 10,000 RPM and tearing that ass up until...

- She pushes you against the wall and drops to her knees. She grabs your dick by the shaft and puts the head in her mouth. As much as you're trying to enjoy her stroking and sucking your dick, you can't because her fucking teeth keeps scraping your dick. Learn how to suck dick without using your teeth. Covering your teeth with your lips doesn't work either. Also, it's not a thick vanilla milkshake, so trying to suck his balls through his urethra hurts like a bitch!!

- She's licking the head, kissing the tip, kissing around it, kissing the shaft, or half-ass licking the dick. Put it in your fucking mouth if you're going to suck it. If you're not, don't put your mouth anywhere near it, or don't get pissed if we grab you by the back of the head and try to put it in your mouth.

- If it feels good, let us know; if you like what we're doing, open your fucking mouth and tell us. Lying there like a dead fish is another way to make us feel like we're violating you, and you're just biting the bullet until it's over so you can get dressed and forget the whole thing happened. Some people think that if a man is confident, he knows he's handling his business; that may be true, but what guy DOESN'T want to hear how good he's fucking you?

- You try something new without warning him first. I promise you, if your try to stick your finger in a man's ass without warning him, don't get pissed if you don't get the reaction you were hoping for. Anything short of a boomerang chop the throat area should be considered a blessing. Unless you've had a prior discussion about it, keep your fucking fingers away from his asshole.

- Check your underwear, especially if you're wearing a thong, a light-colored thong at that. Very few things will kill a mood quicker than to see your light pink thong with a light brown streak on the inside right before you climb on top of him!

- Cleanliness is another thing to pay attention to. I understand when you get home from a date or a night on the town, you do not shower fresh, but there IS a difference between dancing sweat and you didn't shower since dropping the kids off at their dad's this morning scent.

- If you don't swallow, let me know WAY beforehand. If you have a gag reflex, let us know that too! Hearing you choke uncontrollably or throwing up cum on your man if/when he cums in your mouth WILL kill the mood.

- You pull her panties down, and she doesn't shave, trim, or groom. Her crotch looks like a landscaper's nightmare. I realize some women think shaving clean makes her feel like a little girl, but at least cut that shit down to where he's not tasting your piss when it goes down on you.

- If you're going to talk dirty to me all day at work before we see each other, while we're out for the night, on the drive home, and during foreplay, to lie there quietly when we're having sex, know that's fucking annoying.

- She gets up and takes a piss or shit RIGHT before, knowing he's about to give her oral.

- He turns her over on her back and climbs on top. He spreads her legs, and she grabs his shaft and slides it inside. Next thing you know, she's barking orders like, "Harder, faster, slower, deeper, don't cum yet, etc."

- She's making him listen to everything she hates about her body while she's riding him and complaining about the lights being on.

- You realize she has no idea what to do. She's so used to a man doing all the work, and she has absolutely no initiative whatsoever.

- You realize she's content with the same normal positions everyone seems to be doing; missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, from behind, etc. Her willingness and desire to experiment with different positions and techniques are non-existent.

- Start acting like a dysfunctional porn star.

- She has ridiculous expectations. She wants a man with a foot-long, who can go for hours & hours, for example.

- You realize she's on her period AFTER you've penetrated her.

- She does that stupid fucking, "last-minute pull away kiss" shit, making you look and feel like an asshole. It's not cute, funny, endearing, or flirtatious. It's just fucking annoying.

- You're ALWAYS making the first move; that shit gets old really quick, and it makes us not care if you get yours or not. Take the fucking reigns and initiate some shit too.

- Tickling. Playful hitting; most guys hate that shit, and they deal with it.

- You have a great sex session. You're lying in bed together, and she starts drawing those stupid fucking shapes with her finger on your bare chest.

- Acts like she's doing you a favor by allowing you to have sex with her.

- Make him sleep in the wet spot after you squirt.

- Fall asleep after he cums inside of you without cleaning it out, then wanting him inside you again the next morning. Most guys actually find thank incredibly fucking gross!

- Makes him feel like shit because he can't go for multiple rounds immediately, one after the other.

- Your fucking dog jumps on the bed and wants to cuddle or see what you're doing.

- She digs her nails into his back while he's on top or into his chest & legs while she rides him.

- She grabs his dick and strokes it so hard, he feels like she's about to snap it off at the base.

- You realize she's sucking your dick like shit on purpose, hoping you won't want her to do it anymore or not as much as you'd like.


Assorted Truth

An ongoing series of Assorted Truths


JAN 3, 2020


     It's in our nature to want to protect ourselves, both physically and emotionally. Self-preservation and our sense of survival are two of our most dominant primal instincts. When talking about our love life and our relationships, no one wants to be made a fool of, or one day wake up and learn what we thought was there wasn't. While it's our nature to hope, the truth is, we bring a certain amount of unavoidable bullshit with us into each new relationship. We expect our partner to do the same, and there's usually an unspoken, mutual agreement that the bullshit is there. We pretend it doesn't, but we know better. It shows itself to the point where it gets too much or obsessive to the other person, but sometimes it can't help. Nevertheless, you both know the baggage is there, and you do your very best to keep it in check.

    Trying to remain positive and remembering your new partner isn't your ex is the easy part; getting through those times where they say or do something that triggers a painful memory or shady situation from your past is easier said than done sometimes. Not returning a call. Their phone goes to voicemail after one ring. A last-minute cancellation of plans. Hearing another man or woman in the background. They stutter a bit during an explanation. They tell you they're working late when it doesn't happen very often. All of these things can remind someone of the same shit they went through before, only to find out the person they thought was their partner was being dishonest.

     Finding yourself in a situation where you begin to question your partner's fidelity is a shitty place to be in. It's cold, lonely, aggravating, depressing, and painful. It wreaks havoc on your self-esteem and causes you to question where things may have gone wrong. If it goes on long enough, it also takes a physical toll; stress, blood pressure, hypertension, mood swings, headaches, and so on. The worst part is you don't even have proof in the slightest there's even anything for you actually to be suspicious about. That's the part that fucking sucks.

     Some people believe that if they feel something's wrong, then there's something going on. That's not always the case. There's no science in "sensing" something being fucked up in a relationship, so there are 1 of 4 options. 1. Deal with your suspicions and continue the relationship as is and hope you're wrong. 2. Sit down with your partner and discuss your concerns. When I say, "Discuss," that's what I mean. Talking about it doesn't mean sitting down and starting throwing out accusations; that'll do nothing but put the other person on the defensive, making them seem even more guilty in your eyes. 3. Leave the relationship as is and hope you did the right thing; because it'll fucking suck for you if/when you find out later that guy/girl you heard in the background was a relative or their roommate's partner or sibling. 4. Turn detective and start a formal fucking investigation.

     My truth about this option is pretty simple if you feel like you need to play detective, leave the relationship. If you're right, you're going to leave anyway. If you're wrong, they're probably going to end up leaving your bat-shit crazy-ass because you're a fucking loon. Save yourself the heartache, stress, and time. If something isn't right, sooner or later, it's going to come to light. There's no sense in trying to hack their cellphone, Following/stalking them, making sure they go where they say they're going. You don't need to ask your friends to make a move on your partner to see if they take the bait. Checking their social media page and contacting everyone on it to make sure they know who you are or asking who they are to your partner. Creating fake pages to catch them chatting with or trying to hook up with other people. Make profiles on dating sites to see if they're on them. That'll also backfire the fuck on you because if they're doing the same, and they see YOU on these sites, you've just fucked yourself.

     Stop going to your friends, telling them the intricate details of your suspicions. Especially if you don't have proof. What's going to end up happening is that a guy's male friends will try to convince him to go out and find some new pussy, and he'll end up cheating on you. His FEMALE friends will see that as an opportunity to make a move and sabotage your relationship possibly. A woman's girlfriends will either try to talk your lady into accepting that invitation for a drink from that guy at work who's been flirting with her, or they'll convince her to go out and allow them to hook her up with someone THEY approve of. Keep other people out of your relationship, especially when it comes to the possibility or negativity. We all have that one person we confide in, but be careful with what you share and the advice they give.

     Trying to keep tabs on your partner is ridiculous. The truth is, if they're going to fuck around, they're going to fuck around, no matter how hard you try to keep them anchored to your side or in your sights. If they want to go, let them go. You're fucking your own head up, getting pissed because your man goes to the strip club every weekend. Apparently, he gets something there he's not getting with you. Stop trying to keep your lady from going to the club with her girls, or you're going with her, trying to see if anyone walks up to her she may have fucked behind your back or playing the bodyguard role. Friday night's also ladies night at the shooting range? So what? You don't like shooting, so HE can't go? Her girlfriends go out for a happy hour on Fridays, but you work late, so SHE can't socialize with her friends/co-workers? If your partner WANTS to do dirt, trust me, they're going to do it, no matter what you do to try to stop it. It's a fucking tornado, wrapped in a hurricane, surrounded by a tidal wave, with a 7.5 earthquake, dipped in an active volcano for dessert. Run the other fucking direction as fast as possible, stay right where you are, and get yourself fucked up.



The Dark Truth deals with the adult subject matter and may contain language and content that may be considered inappropriate or offensive and is intended for mature readers. Both caution and personal responsibility must be exercised when allowing readers to access this site, and it's content. The Dark Truth claims no responsibility or fault in reference to age, gender, ethnicity, race, color, creed, sexual/gender orientation, religion, etc.

The Dark Truth or any of its contributors assume no liability or responsibility for any reactions or influences experienced by underage or unauthorized users.

Also, The Dark Truth DOES NOT authorize any of its content to be used in part or as a whole by any other outside entity without written permission from its administration representative.