Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SOUL MODEL

Oct 25 2020

BY D.K. LION

     A soulmate doesn’t have to be a positive person or situation. Your soulmate makes you a better person, even if the experience or situation with that person was one of the worst of your life. Your soulmate makes you a better person even if they cheated on you, treated you like shit, ignored you, beat on you, and kept you underfoot. Your soulmate isn’t always about love, self-confidence, and affection.


     The purpose of a soulmate is someone who enters your life and makes an incredible impact on your life. That impact may not always be made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. That impact isn’t always positive. That impact won’t always make your heart flutter and your toes curl when you kiss. Your soulmate could scare the shit out of you, have you walking on eggshells and afraid to tell anyone else about it. They become your soulmate the minute you realize and decide you’ve had enough, learn from their shitty examples, and you become strong enough to walk away.


     Your soulmate gave you the courage to leave stronger than when you entered. The independence and recognition of your own identity and the boost to your declining self-image as a result of meeting your soulmate. They took so much from you for so long, or you had very little of yourself before your soulmate. They beat you down physically and emotionally until one day the match inside of you became a roaring flame and from the ashes, a phoenix emerged, wings blazed with a fire that can’t be extinguished.


     Your soulmate was an asshole. You didn’t think you deserved to be happy, so you accepted what was offered. You were afraid to ask for more in fear of having what little you were getting to be taken away. Your soulmate had you begging for the scraps from your own table. Your soulmate made you feel like shit about yourself and had you convinced no one else would want you, but you met someone who showed you how much more you were worth. You wouldn’t have met that other person and became so much stronger and better a person had it not been for your soulmate.


     Just like in the positive sense, there’s no such thing as a soulmate, in reference to there being just one person meant for everyone. There are going to be soulmates everywhere and anywhere who’s going to see the good in you and appreciate what you have to offer; just like there’s going to be people who see someone they can take advantage of and treat like shit. If you can believe there’s more than one fucked up person in the world; more than one cheater, more than one good, decent man or woman in the world, then you can concede a soulmate won’t always be someone who’s good to you, but your experience with them was good for you.


     Your soulmate may not have been a positive person, but they were a positive influence in your life. Isn’t that what a soulmate is supposed to do, make you a better person for knowing them? Your experiences with one another make, shape, and mold you into a better, more productive version of yourself. Aren’t they supposed to make you happy and a better friend and relationship partner? Your soulmate supports you, lift you to a higher level of yourself, and helps you see your self-worth and potential; and they did just that; they did it by treating you like shit until you got fed up with it.


     Your soulmate made you realize you not only deserved more, but you had the right to demand more. They made you see you also had more to give. You weren’t sexually experienced or expressive until you met them, and they brought it out of you when they demanded things you weren’t used to or comfortable within the beginning. They used your love for them to guilt you into the freaky, nasty type of sex they wanted, and you hated them for it until you left and found someone who appreciated what your soulmate made you hate. Because of your soulmate, you learned so many new things you realized your sexually primal side and the good man you ended up with is still thanking the asshole who turned you out even after 3 years of being together.


     They taught you to be proud of your body when they were done making you ashamed of your body. Your soulmate gave you the confidence in yourself when you were fed up with them breaking you down. They gave you the drive and motivation to start your business or go back to school and get your degree. They’ll take the credit for your success, but they never take away what they gave your soul. You walked away with way more self-respect and a higher opinion of yourself. You would’ve never had that power if you hadn’t their bullshit in your life.


     Your soulmate may have been an asshole, but that asshole turned you into an unstoppable force of nature. You went into your life with your soulmate an old, wrecked, rusty tricycle, but came out a brand-new showroom-worthy 1500 cc sport superbike. You went in not even knowing what your gifts were. When you got your power to leave, you could fly, had super strength, and rapid healing abilities.


     Everything good about you now is because of the shitty soulmates you’ve had along the way. All soulmates aren’t people put in your path to treat you like a king or queen. Their purpose is to enrich your life and make you a better person, which they did. They just did it by treating you like shit. You wouldn’t be where you are now had it not been for those people who fucked you over. You’d still be an asshole had you never met an even bigger asshole. Their drug and alcohol habit got you off drugs and alcohol or it kept you away from trying drugs and alcohol.


     Everything your soulmate did to keep you down and destroy you made you who you are now. You learned who not to be and what not to be like. You learned how it feels to be on the other side of the coin. Your soulmate played you and that reformed you from your player ways. Your soulmate cheated on you over and over again and it gave you what you needed to be the great man or woman in every relationship in your future. Your soulmate was a shitty friend and you swore you’d never be that shitty a friend. Your soulmate can even be a shitty parent who showed you how to not be a shitty parent to your own children.


     Your soulmate makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life. They make you feel as if you can take on the world by storm. They make you feel on top of the world. Your soulmate brings out everything great about yourself. Your soulmate fills that empty hole in your soul and makes you feel complete. Your soulmate teaches you about love and elevates your idea and expression of love. Your soulmate makes you a better friend. The actions, gestures, behaviors, and examples they show of themselves show you what you can accomplish when you have to right person in your corner.


     You were a pushover, but your soulmate gave you what you needed to stand up for yourself. People took advantage of you until you started to care less about pleasing others and more about yourself. Your soulmate makes you happy with yourself. You no longer need someone in your life; you can be happy by yourself until you meet the right person. Your soulmate taught you to be strong, outspoken, and independent, yet not hold the transgressions of your shitty soulmates from your past against anyone in your present or future. Everything good about you now is because of your shitty soulmate.


     Your soulmate makes you shine like the sun, and better than you could ever have been had you not known them. Everything positive about who you are you owe to your soulmate. Your soulmate’s the reason you’re the best possible version of yourself. They’ve done all this for you, by doing not much of anything for you.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

BREAKER-BREAKER

Oct 18, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     When a woman says she wants to take a break, she’s done. She doesn’t want a break. She doesn’t want or need time to think about anything. A woman doesn’t tell a man she needs to evaluate what’s important and if she’s ready to get into something serious. When she says she wants to take a break, she’s ended things with you. She’s more than capable of thinking about things while you’re still together. By the time she suggests time apart or a break, she’s already thought about it; she’s already gone back and forth about it in her mind. She’s already talked to her friends and weighed the pros and cons of staying in the relationship versus leaving. Taking a break is her way of breaking up with you when you haven’t done anything to piss her off to dump you bluntly and straight-forward.


     There’s no more romance, or you’re on separate paths, and she wishes you the best of luck and no ill will towards you. She doesn’t want to hurt you too much, but she doesn’t want to stay somewhere she’s not happy; that’s where the “Break” comes in. “It’s not you. It’s me.” No, it’s you; she’s not getting what she needs out of the relationship, but you’re a decent guy, and she wishes the best for you, but she knows you’re not the best for each other. Wanting or needing a break or time off is just stupid; why not say what you really mean? You either want to end the relationship and move on, you want to be by yourself and come back when you’re done, or you want to see if there’s anything else out there before you settle down. That’s what a break really is, a question of settlement.


     For men, taking a break is just that; taking a break from where you are so, he can explore other options. He doesn’t need time away from you to decide if he wants to be with you. He already knows if he does or not, but he has a halfway decent heart and doesn’t want to “Formally” cheat on you. He wants to take a break to see if he’s missing out on anything. He wants to make sure you’re still the best he can get but not feel guilty for testing the waters with other women; he wants to seek other options and possibilities but run home if there’s nothing out there.


     She wants to be alone or explore someone else and doesn’t want to cheat either, whether physically or emotionally. If it doesn’t work out, it’s a lesson learned about greener grass. She wouldn’t try to come back because she knows she wouldn’t take you back if you did that same thing. Men want the best of both worlds; he doesn’t want to be a cheater, but he also doesn’t know if he’s ready to be with just one woman.


     Time apart isn’t spring break when you can come back after a week of doing dirt or pick up where you left off. It’s not summer vacation when you disappear until fall classes resume. You don’t get to use the time apart when things get to be too much for you to handle or when you don’t want to hear the truth when you’re messing up. You know you’re doing something wrong, or you’re not holding up to your end of the relationship, so instead of meeting halfway, you want to take time apart from each other. Each time you ask for time apart or to take a break, one or both of you are getting more and more used to not being together, which is going to make the final breakup that much easier.


     When women want a break, she’s breaking up with you. When men take a break, he’s going on vacation from the relationship. His break is a Vegas weekend with the guys and not be an asshole because he knows he can’t be trusted otherwise. For him, time apart is his free pass from the doghouse if and when he’s caught out with someone else. He believes that’s all he needs to excuse what he does during the break.


     He won’t see any reason to admit to what he did during the break or time apart, but he’ll lie about it if asked. He’ll want a detailed account for every waking moment she spent when they weren’t together. His rationalization is because since he was the one who suggested the break or time apart, he has a right to know what she did, but his actions aren’t important. His break is about his freedom while she sits at home, waiting for him to come back. Her break is about finding happiness for herself and possibly to show him what he has with her and to break him of his player ways or need for attention from other women.


     Her break is telling you there’s a chance to get your shit together, but you need to see what your life would be like without her. She’s telling you there’s a chance to be friends, but later down the line when you stop trying to still have sex with her while you’re chasing and sleeping with other women. She’s okay with being friends after she meets someone else or she’s convinced you’re done trying to get back together.


     He's taking a break or time apart is a hollow threat to get what he wants physically; hers is a threat to get something she wants emotionally. He wants a threesome; she wants him to buy her nice things. He wants an open relationship while she stays faithful to just him. She wants to control the relationship and ration sex to get her way. He wants a woman who’ll be more traditional when it comes to gender roles; she wants to be independent, as long as it benefits her endgame. You’re both playing a dangerous yet ridiculous game because neither of you really wants the break or time apart.


     His break is telling her he can’t be trusted as far as she can throw him. He can’t go out of town or out with his friends without being tempted. He knows he can’t be trusted, so he thinks he’s excusing his upcoming behavior by asking for a break or time apart. She’s not stupid; there were no problems or issues in the relationship until about a month before he was going on his trip with the guys; now, all of a sudden, all these things are coming up that makes him question their situation. Surprisingly when he comes back, all the doubt, problems, and arguments magically stop, and he has everything figured out. His time apart says she should prepare herself to not hear from him regularly; he says it’s to figure things out, but it’s really because he wants to avoid the obligation of returning calls and texts if or when he’s with someone else. She should be prepared to see him talking to or out with other women.


     He’ll expect her to be at home, pining for him to come back, and he’ll turn into a fetal pig when he sees her out or talking to another man or other men all over her. Then he’ll reminisce about all the good things about her and want her to himself. Too bad that 4th break you took within the last year was the last straw for either of you, and the other person got sick of that shit. They found someone who knew what they wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, show it, and accept it, without needing time apart to re-evaluate it. You made them realize your break was a break you both needed, and they ended up making your break THEIR break 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PAYMENT DUE

Oct 5th 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Women ask why men always feel like they have to impress her with how much money he makes. She wonders why men come running out the gate, bragging about what drives, his place, his car, etc. Women talk shit about men who brag about how much he makes or what he has to get her interested or to impress her. She’ll criticize him for doing it, but it’s not like women haven’t had a hand in making men feel they have to have a certain amount to deserve a chance with her.


    From an early age, women have conditioned men to think he has to show and prove his financial worth. Since he was old enough to be interested in girls, women have played a major part in instilling the belief he has to enforce his financial and materialistic standing to get her attention and gain her interest. He didn’t just roll out of bed one day and decide the best way to get a woman was to showcase his financials without believing it would get him anywhere. You ask what makes him think you care about how much money he has; the answer is YOU! From the time he was a young boy, YOU were the reason he felt that way.


     Not necessarily the, “You” now, but then, “You” before you grew up and matured into the woman you are now, who values personality and character over materialistic shit.


     When in school, it was all about what he had; the guys who wore trendy, name-brand clothes got the most attention from the girls. The more he flaunted what his parents could afford to buy him dictated which girls he had a chance with. Hand-me-downers or bargain store shoppers were outcasts. They were nerds, geeks, and even bullied if his wardrobe didn’t meet the standards of his peers. If he didn’t have what everyone else has, he got turned down and laughed at the girl ad beat up and picked on by other boys. If his shoes came from the outlet store, it was quickly identified and brought to the center stage for ridicule. The guys who lived in certain neighborhoods were more likely to get the girls in their class who lived in the same neighborhoods. If You lived in the projects, you were socially limited to or expected to only go for project girls. The ones from, “better” or more affluent areas were considered off-limits or reserved for their socially acceptable male counterparts.


     Boys with glasses got little to no play from the cute girls. Even the girls WITH glasses were choosy about the boys with glasses. Even if they needed them, the popular kids didn’t wear theirs because they knew they’d be singled out because of what glasses represented their social standing. Girls assumed guys with acne were poor and had shitty hygiene.


     In Jr. high, the boys who were popular got pretty, popular girls. That was also around the time girls were trying to act a hell of a lot more grown-up than before the summer break started. Along with the training bra came a new level of expectation and standard of boys who were even allowed to talk to her. Boys who wore their older sibling’s old clothes were shot down and put in their proper place in the hierarchy. If he brought his lunch from home instead of buying the snack cakes, candy, or chips and cookies they sold on the side during lunch period, he wasn’t worthy; the same went for kids who qualified for free lunches. Boys were constantly reminded of their place in the food chain. Her rationalization was boys who had more could do more, and he would bring her along with him. He was an investment in her future, even before he was in high school.


     Back in the day, it was okay for boys not to know what they wanted to do when they were in high school. Now, his entire life has to be mapped out or at least flowchart by their Freshman year. He’d better have his future completely figured out BEFORE he met her parents. Back in the day, men were judged by the content of their character and personality; how hard he worked was all she needed to see in him, not the financial worth of his family. His desire to spend time with her was what won her over. Her dad didn’t care if he was broke, or middle class, he was impressed by his work ethic. Even if he bagged groceries at the supermarket, he had respect. If he worked with his dad on the farm on the weekends or waited tables at the soda shop after school and football practice, that was more than enough for her and her parents.


     Back in the day, he could wear his dad’s suit to the prom, or any formal event, which was held in the school gym. He could drive the family station wagon and have burgers and fries afterward, and it was okay with her. She was just happy to be going with the guy she liked. Now, a limo, tuxedo, corsage, and expensive dinner beforehand is expected and mandatory! The swanky $150-$200/night hotel room HE has to pay for on a high school part-time job! He knows that’s the basic, minimum prom package, and he’s footing the bill for everything. Anything less won’t be accepted or met with disappointment, if not intense scrutiny. She won’t wait until the night’s over, she’ll let him know he fucked up right then and there. Her image is as much at stake as his proof of love and commitment to her.


     In high school, it got a little different and more complicated, but the message was still the same; if he couldn’t impress with what he had, or parents could afford, he had no chance with the upper-echelon girls. It was about the guys who had part-time jobs and cars which could pick them up and take them out. If he had a job and a car, he had his pick of the litter. How he dressed wasn’t so much of a big deal than when his parents were buying his clothes. Women knew he was paying for his gas, at least part of his insurance and his phone line. He was paying for the dates he was taking you on, which was more important than name brand clothes.


     For her, it was about him having a job and access to a car. It didn’t matter what he wore as long as it was clean. It didn’t matter what he had as long as he was driving and paying for his own. His parents weren’t buying him high-dollar clothes and such, especially if they were helping him cover the cost of his ride. A guy with a car trumped a guy standing at the bus stop, sporting the latest and greatest gear. A guy with a car was seen as older and elevated because he drove. That’s why high school Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors dated graduates and college guys.


     It was an either/or situation, and guys wanted to drive and overpaid for name-brand shit. The guy with the car was always more popular than the guy walking or riding the bus with the cool clothes, shoes, etc. In a female’s mind, he was more mature and elevated. That’s why Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors wanted guys who’d already graduated or college guys.


     The true difference came out when he wasn’t driving, and STILL wasn’t wearing the top of the line gear. He didn’t have a car because he was saving up to buy one, or he was helping the family out with the bills. To her, there was no reason he was still dressing the way he was when he had a job but no car. And it didn’t matter what kind of car he had, as long as it ran.


     In college, it was about his prospects for the future. It was about who had the greatest earning potential and success after graduation. It was about who’d be drafted into the pros or the next possible Olympic hopeful. It was about separating men who came from money versus men who has his own or be prepared to make his own money. Guys that showed promise in getting into college on an athletic or academic scholarship was an added factor in defining the limits of his options. How his tuition and such were paid for wasn’t really an issue except for when it came to women who were straight gold diggers or opportunists.


     The guys with money and better career options had better luck with women. She was looking for the CEO-in-training, pro-athlete hopeful, or future politician, no matter how much of a player or asshole he was. He was being groomed for success, and part of that was to associate himself with a particular type of woman. Her goal was to be that woman. Old (Family) money stops at that man, and she’d NEVER had access to it without him. The guy making his own millions would put her name on the bank and credit cards too, and that’s what she really wants.


     Women wonder how and where a man comes to the conclusion that she has to have sex with him after a date. The answer is simple; the prom. If nothing else, prom night was the night most girls were waiting to have sex. She knew how hard he worked and saved to get the money to afford all the things she expected of him on prom night. She knew he was going to have nothing to show for his efforts while she was treated to the best night of her life, up to that point in her life. She wanted to show her appreciation and gratitude. Women continue to condition men to think that way because women continue to have sex with men on the first date.


     Men have been conditioned to expect sex after paying for a date because that’s how some women said thank you or how she acknowledged she was getting a free night out, and he wasn’t getting anything in return. Women who hide behind the word “Traditional” and think men should pay don’t realize HE chose where they went and what they did, and she went along with it; she had no say or opinion. Women still feel they deserve that free night out and want to dictate how much he’s going to pay for that night out. They look at him to pay and call it, “Chivalry.”


     Women who say it doesn’t matter what her man has or how much he earns can say that because he DOES have it; he DOES earn it. She’ll tell you it’s not important to her that he owns three cars because she can grab the keys and has access to those three cars. She says she doesn’t need the big house because she lives in a big house. We all know she’d criticize him if he lived in a studio apartment and slept on a fold-out couch or futon; that’s why he’s bragging about his car and home.


     Don’t fool yourself into thinking she’d be as interested if he stocked shelves at the local retail store or his car was missing its front and rear bumper, along with the hood and sounded like a lawnmower when it was running at its best. She knows she wouldn’t go out with him again, or she’d just turn around and walk bright back into her house.


     It’s not about the money he spends on her; it’s about the money he spends. She knows he values money and materialistic shit. She’ll define or force him to prove his love, based on how much he comes out of pocket. The value of their relationship is defined by how much he spends on his home, vacations, cars, etc. Back in the day, a date could be something free, not now. She’ll talk shit about him if he takes her somewhere featuring a ladies’ night. Females will talk shit if he uses a gift card or coupon. Females gauge how physical they’d get, based on how much he spent on their date and girls did the same with boys when they were younger. That’s why they think they deserve something physical now they’re older.


     She doesn’t feel like enough was spent on her; he didn’t spend enough money on the date in total. They just went to a movie or dinner and not both. He wanted to go for a walk and get to know her, but she didn’t see it that way. She didn’t get dressed up for just dinner and a walk; she expected dinner AND a movie; dinner, drinks, AND dancing. She’ll talk shit because the part of the date that costs money didn’t last that long. He spent $35 on dinner, and everything else was free.


     When she asks what he does for a living, she’s making sure he has a job, but also gauging his financial worth and stability. She’s making sure he can afford her. That’s why his rank is one of the first things most women who meet military men ask. They want to see how much he makes.


     Why do guys brag about how much money he makes and what he has? It’s not because he’s an ass; well, he may be, but he’s been conditioned to believe he has to afford her to deserve her. He’s been judged from elementary school through adulthood on how much he makes, no matter what she says. Now she’s offended or turned off by it. She may not care if he’s rich or not, but she wants a man who’s not struggling either.


     Her parents didn’t want her with a boy who they thought had limited or no prospects of success in the future. Whether he was walking, riding the bus, or a bike, he was beneath her if he didn’t have what the wealthier kids had. He’s too poor or common for her. Her parents will judge his worth by his parents; their jobs, home, education, etc.


     He had to be popular. He had to drive. He had to have money and take her out. He had to get her special occasion and holiday gifts. He knew if he didn’t come home with roses (Nothing else but roses), an expensive gift, and a nice dinner for Valentine’s Day, he was going catch hell for it. Women made an expectation and requirement. She’s made him believe that if he doesn’t wine and dine her on the anniversary of their first date, first sexual experience, or their wedding, he’s uncaring, selfish, and doesn’t appreciate or care about her. How much he spends is how he proves he really loves her.


     He couldn’t just come over and visit. He couldn’t get dropped off and picked up. His parents or older siblings couldn’t chaperone or double-date. He couldn’t be seen riding a bike to her house; he had to at least have a scooter. Females didn’t want the guys who stayed at home. She didn’t want to come over for dinner; she wanted to go out to eat. She wanted to go somewhere they could be seen, and she could show off how much he was into her in front of other people by how much he spent. She wanted a boy who hung out at the mall on the weekends, even though he didn’t buy anything. She wanted to decide and control what they did, where they went, and how much he spent on it. Girls wanted to brag about where he took her to her friends. She wanted them to be jealous of what her man did for her. That’s why they dated older guys


     A man who uses his money to get a woman will lose his money to that woman. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

GUILT TO LAST

Sep 27, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Don’t you feel the least bit guilty when others get caught up in some shit caused by your bullshit? You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself or your mouth shut and, someone else paid the price for you and your shit. Does it ever occur to you that for every action, there’s an eventual and equal reaction? You bring down hell and high waters on yourself and anyone else unlucky enough to be around you when you get in one of your “Moods,” and they’re the ones who dig you out. Every group has that person who’s incapable of guilt because they’re too busy, fucking everyone else over. If You don’t know who that person in your group is, it’s most likely you!


     You’ll let somebody take the fall for something you BOTH did, but you got away, and there’s no sense in both of you going to jail and ruining your lives, so you’ll keep your mouth shut and pretend to support your friend when they’re on their way to prison.


     You went out, got drunk off your ass, and your friends had to keep you from getting your ass kicked. They got their ass kicked instead. You started some shit, and you thought your friends were going to be enough to get you out or back you up before things got too hairy. Next thing you know, you’re all flat or your asses; choked out, knocked out, or you’re getting dressed to attend the funeral for the friend who was shot during the altercation you started.


     You just can’t keep your mouth shut. You can’t let shit go. No one’s going to punk you or get in your face, even when you’re in the wrong. Somebody said or did something, and they apologized, you’re not going to be disrespected. You don’t take shit from anybody. You got into some shit with the wrong person, and now it’s bigger than you can handle. Your woman subcontracted you to a fight you have no knowledge of and every intention of avoiding. She put far too much confidence in your ability to defend her, and she thinks she has the right to talk shit because she’s not the one who’s going to settle it. She can say whatever or do whatever she wants, including taking a swing or using a racial slur. One of your friends got knocked the fuck out or killed over some shit you started.


     Your girlfriends have to babysit you because you’re fuck-faced drunk. You’re dancing on the bar with men pawing all over you, and they have to pull you down and keep your wild ass under control. They have to keep you from hooking up with random men behind your man’s back. You’re determined to go home with the guy you just met. They can’t enjoy themselves or have a good time because they’re busy keeping track of you. You ruined everyone else’s night, but you don’t care, because you had fun.


     You didn’t want to leave your car behind even though you drank way too much to legally or safely drive home. You were too selfish to consider the risk you were taking until after running that red light and smashed into the family, driving home from spending the holidays with the grandparents. You survived, but those children in the other car lost their parents, and here you sit in court, crying and hoping for leniency, You’re young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, but what about the family of the person you killed walking home from the store. You chose to drive drunk, and you felt you were treated unfairly when you got a DUI, just because your BAC was SLIGHTLY above the legal limit. You could care less about all the other people on the road you put at risk because you were just “Buzzed.” To you, that isn’t the same as intoxicated.


     You both had a couple of beers with dinner then drove home with your kids in the car. You got into an accident, and you blame the other driver, or you want to sue because your kids could’ve been hurt. The fact you knowingly drank and got behind the wheel with your children is the same as smoking in your car with your baby in the back seat. You don’t think about the harm you’re putting your children through, and they have no say in the matter. Are those beers worth it? Are you THAT hard up for a cigarette that you’ll subject your baby to secondhand smoke?


     You lied about your age because you think you’re too mature for boys your age. You’re only 16, but now, some 23-year old’s in a world of shit with the law or your parents because you wanted an older guy who could drive or had money. Because of you and your shit, he’s now a registered sex offender, or your father or brothers took matters into their own hands, and they’re answering for something they shouldn’t have done. Your selfish choices landed more than one person in hot water, and you think your half-ass apology will make everything go away.


     You hate wearing condoms, so you slipped it off when you changed positions. She knew you didn’t want kids, but she wanted you to be part of her life forever. You thought having a child would be the solution to all your marriage problems, but all you did was cause resentment towards that child when things got worse. You both lied to each other and said you couldn’t have kids. You said you loved her because you knew she wasn’t going to fuck you otherwise. You told her you wanted her to have your baby. Now, she has to drop out of school and take some bullshit job to support the child you bailed out on. You could care less because you’re not the one who has to take the responsibility; you already have three you don’t take care of


     You know she wants a baby, and that’s the last thing on your mind. You don’t want a kid, and you most definitely don’t want one with her. You know the only way she’ll let you go in without a condom is by telling her whatever she needs to hear to get what you want, and it’s her job to deal with whatever consequence comes from her choice. In your mind, it’s HER choice; she knew what you were about, and SHE should’ve been more careful. You told her up front, and if she was dumb enough to let still you fuck without a condom, that’s HER fault if she gets pregnant.


     You have an STD, but you’ll be damned if that’s going to stop you from fucking tonight. You won’t put your lady at risk, but your side chick’s a different story. You got the prescription, and you only have to refrain from sex for a week while it does its thing, but you can’t and won’t wait; a week’s too long to go without pussy. She has that gift that keeps on giving, and since she hasn’t had any flare-ups or symptoms in a long time, she won’t say anything. You’ll go out on the prowl for pussy and hope you have enough antibiotics in your system that you won’t pass it on. If she’s unlucky enough to catch your burning dick disease, she’s just going have to deal with the repercussions. You’re not going home empty-handed, not even for even one weekend.


     Are you so self-absorbed you don’t give a damn about the destruction and mayhem you cause whenever you’re out of your cage? You’re a bully. You think it’s fun and funny to crack jokes and pick on other people to make yourself feel better. You’ve been relentless in your torment of someone who did nothing to you except inhale and exhale the same air as you. You’re the reason someone walked into your classroom or office building and opened fire. They were gunning for you but took out fourteen other people while you ran out the back door. Your physical and emotional attacks became too much for them, and they took their life. You didn’t know about their battle with obesity or bulimia. Your constant jokes about their stutter, acne, missing or rotten teeth weakened their will to fight their clinical depression, and they took their own life.


     You fucked up someone else’s confidence and self-esteem because yours was in the shitter, and you didn’t want anyone to see you as less-than-perfect. You’re in a miserable time in your life or relationship, and you don’t want to go through it alone, so you fucked up someone else’s so you could have a rebound buddy to hang out with. You wanted to avoid showing your flaws and shortcomings to your friends, so you always point out theirs. You think it’s all in fun to crack jokes because one of your friends has weight issues. They aren’t as popular or good-looking as you are or because of some physical or mental disadvantage. You’re blackmailing one of your female friends into having sex with you with a sex video they made last year during spring break.


     You’re married, and your husband doesn’t make you feel sexy anymore, so you meet another man and make him think he’s going to get laid. At the end of the night, you thank him for the drinks and making you feel sexy again and leave him hanging. You don’t know his mental state, and he follows you home, pissed off, and psychotic. You didn’t think of it at the time, and you didn’t care because you got what you needed.


     You ruined your family with your infidelity because you thought you deserved someone younger, thinner, or better-looking. Your wife’s two years younger than you, but she’s too old for you now. He’s working to make a better life for both of you. You’ll let him pay all the bills, thinking everything’s fine while you save your money to move out or leave him for someone else.


     You told other people something that was told to you privately and in confidence, and it didn’t occur to you to keep it to yourself. Your thirst for popularity fucked up your better judgment, and now you have two or more friends at each other’s throats because you let some shit “Slip out” on purpose. You should’ve kept your mouth shut, but you thought it was a funny story to tell, to get revenge, or you felt your place as the Beta female slipping away. You have a shitty relationship, and you’re tired of your friends and their perfect lives, with their perfect partners, perfect jobs, and everything else you don’t have. Your jealousy will drive you to sabotage what they have with very little guilt.


     You’re sick as a dog, but that won’t keep you from going to work and passing your shit on to someone else. Your respiratory virus or whatever you have gone through the office like a tidal wave, and someone took it home and passed it on to their asthmatic child who ended up in the hospital.


     Don’t you feel guilty about the damage you cause when you got drunk and let it out in open one of your friends cheated? What about letting it “Slip” one of them had a teenage abortion or gave their child up for adoption? What if you let it out the bag that one of your friends is adopted and their parents weren’t ready to have that conversation yet? Guilt isn’t something you’re familiar with because you’re usually the one dishing out the bullshit. You don’t feel guilty because you’re usually the one having a good time while everyone else is taking care of you when you’re drunk, keeping you out of fights, or from making bad choices like sneaking off to have unprotected sex with somebody you just met.


     You’re the person in the zombie movie who’ll push someone in the way of the horde to save their ass. You’ll drive off and leave everyone else behind in the haunted house, to get butchered by the serial killer, or shredded by whatever’s in the fucking woods hunting you all down. You’ll stab a co-worker in the back to land a promotion you’re both qualified for or sell them out and get them fired. It’s impossible for you to feel guilty. You have no concept of guilt while you’re fucking other people over to benefit yourself.


     You say you feel bad, but you really don’t care; it’s fun and hilarious to you while you’re doing it! You feel bad because only because everyone around you knows you’re the main reason the consequences and bullshit happened in the first place. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FIND MESS

Sep 20, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     No matter what happens, what you do, where you go, or where you are, you always manage to find yourself an enemy. You have to let everyone in the room know you’re not going to take any shit from anyone. You’re a badass, the big man on campus, or the queen bitch, and you are not to be fucked with. You’re in charge; you know more than anyone else, at least according to you.


     You’re not happy until/unless you’re in someone’s face, beating on your chest or roaring like a lion. You did six months in juvenile detention when you were younger; you’ve been in and out of jail or prison, and you live by a different code. You’re used to walking out into the yard and making your mark before being made a bitch. Not being locked up is easier because you don’t have to worry about getting shanked by one of your friends.


     You woke up in a cage with six other people, given two hours to escape or die, and instead of working together with the others, you’ll go off on your own, or you’ll try to do everything yourself. You’re only out for number one. You’re trying to take over or establish yourself as the leader. If it’s not your idea, you don’t want to hear it.


     You’re the guy in the horror movie who wants to hunt down the killer or beast instead of getting in the running car and driving the fuck away. You’re the woman who always has something negative to say about everyone and everything. Everyone’s jealous of you and out to undermine and destroy you.


     You’re the angry drunk, the bully. You can’t go anywhere without getting into a fight with somebody over the dumbest shit. Your friends have stopped asking you to hang out because you’re an asshole. You can’t let anything go or walk away. No one’s going to punk or disrespect you, especially in front of people, you know. If you run into someone in-passing, instead of just saying, “Excuse me,” it’s “Watch where the fuck you’re going.”


    You’re that girl who thinks the dance floor belongs to her. When your favorite song comes on, everyone had better get out of the way or get knocked over, and you won’t even turn around and apologize; they shouldn’t have been in the way, or they should just expect it and deal with it because you’re drunk.


     You’ll find an enemy in any situation because you’re in a situation you can’t control. You’re scared and don’t want anyone to know you’re scared. You’ll make enemies because you’re out of your natural element, and you need something to latch onto that you CAN control. Anger and frustration are a safe zone for you, and it hides your fear and confusion about the situation. You’ll focus on something irrelevant to the bigger picture and act like you saved the world after you’ve solved it. The car overheated and blew a tire. You’ll act like you fixed the car’s overheating issue after you swapped the tire out for the spare.


     Your “fight or flight” initiative will turn to one extreme or the other, and yours always turns to “fight”        You can’t get along with everybody; no one can, but you’ll take it to the extreme to where you want the object of your hatred to submit to you. You just can’t keep your mouth shut; you can’t admit you’re wrong or don’t know the answer or have a solution to the problem at hand. You always have to be right and in control. People who question you, call you out, disagree with you, or know more than you are a threat, therefore, an enemy. Any challenge will be taken as a direct assault and met and dealt with aggressively and violently via confrontation.


     You make enemies because you can’t deal with people who do not agree with you any other way. You have no intelligent or credible response or action, so your fallback is confrontation. You’ll make a scene and get loud, hoping to get your way through humiliation or someone else’s desire to avoid the confrontation. Then you’ll stick your chest out or flip your hair back in victory.


     You’ll find an enemy anywhere go because you’re looking for an enemy everywhere you go, even if and when your life or safety is at stake. If working as a group earns you a reward or prize, you’ll play along until you see an opportunity to fuck someone or everyone else over and claim success and credit for yourself. You always find an enemy because you just can’t help yourself. You’re jealous, you lack self-esteem and confidence, and you’re afraid it shows. You fake your bravado. You secretly see your enemy as a competition. You’re afraid nobody will listen to you unless you’re a bully. You’re a fucking bully because you’re used to being ignored. You think acting tough will get you respect or laid.


     You don’t know how to make or keep friends. You don’t have anything positive to contribute, and no one’s interested in what you have to say because you’re a dick, and you’re proud of; hell, you broadcast it. You’re a snotty know-it-all or ghetto as hell, and everybody should deal with it because that’s how you’ve always been, and you won’t change. You can’t help yourself; for some reason, you can’t have a good time or even save your own life without starting some shit with someone you just met or don’t even know.


     You just have to be in charge, even if everyone’s on the same page as you; the work and tasks have been equally divided and assigned. Everyone knows their job and what they’re responsible for, and things are running smoothly. That doesn’t work for you; somebody has to be in charge, and that someone’s going to be you. You’re the king of the hill; every idea has to come from you, and nobody else knows shit but you. You strive to be at the top; to be on top, but the higher you aim, the farther they fall. No matter what happens or situation you’re in; you’ll manage to make an enemy. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

UNFAITHFULLY YOURS

Aug 30, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Our priorities are so messed up right now, some of the shit we do as a society should, but don't even shock a person anymore. A man will walk out or cheat on his lady/wife after an argument or at the first sign of trouble, but he'll stay 1000% die-hard faithful to a fucking sports team that hasn't been to, much less, won a championship in 15-20 long years! When it comes to the area, he lives in a grown-ass man who will fight, die, and even kill another person for wearing a rival team jersey during a game; or because someone disrespected his, "Hood," or for wearing the wrong color. He will bail out on his child if/when the mother doesn't want to be with his sorry ass anymore. 

 

     We'll complain about the prices, out-of-stocks, service, product cleanliness, and general shitty experience of a retail/grocery store or food at a restaurant and swear never to go there again; until next weekend. We're more faithful to places we claim to hate more than we stay faithful to our partners. 

 

     We'll spend $200 on sneakers without a second thought, but complain about $50 funky ass dollars on Valentine's day for flowers and the 2 for $30 dinner special at the local chain restaurant. You'll pay top dollar for the latest video games and play all damn night, but the thought of a "Just Because" card to your wife never crossed your mind. 

 

    Last night's meatloaf was dry, so he's out fucking someone else. He fucked up the laundry, and all of a sudden, things aren't working out. 

 

     We bitch about the cover charge, the drink prices, the fat/ugly men and women, the music, the service, the watered-down drinks, even how bad the bathroom smells, but we'll stay more faithful to that dance club than we will our partner. Hell, a man could get his ass mauled, and his teeth kicked in, but as soon as he's healthy, his woman has nursed him back to health; he'll be right back there again, showing the loyalty he should be showing his lady. 

 

     Women will walk out on their men at the first sign of trouble but will stay faithful to a shoe brand until her dying breath. She'll hit 5-6 different stores all over the city, trying to find a certain purse, then pay $250 for it, without pause. Men will stay more faithful to a tool brand; women will stay more faithful to a brand of toilet paper or diaper for her child. Men and women will call it quits or step out on their relationship quicker that shit but will stay faithful to a beer or cigarette brand. We'll stay more faithful to a shitty friend who ain't about shit or the paper to wipe their ass with, over our partner. 

 

     We spend big money on aftermarket rims, stereo, CD/DVD players, touchscreens, etc. for our vehicle, but at no point did the thought of a car seat cross our minds. Women won't lose weight to keep her man's eyes on her, but she'll drop that weight in a second after the breakup or divorce to make herself appealing to other men. A man will die and want to be buried in his favorite football jersey his ex bought him ten years ago, but he just can't seem to locate the polo shirt his lady bought for him a week ago. 

 

     We put so much trivial shit in front of our partners; it doesn't even register or phase us one bit, which is the worst part; we don't even see it. It goes more overboard when the other person shrugs their shoulders and think it's okay, that's just how they are. If not for you, think of your children, if you have any. You have a man who shows more loyalty to time spent on a fucking video game system than time with you. He'll spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes but bitch about a night out with you. He'd rather spend his entire Sunday, watching sports than to interact with his children on the only day they have free as a family. She's more faithful to her name brand purses and designer perfumes. People nowadays are more devoted to their cereal brands than each other. Most people have one foot out the door, waiting for the first sign of trouble, and it's either Adios or they're with something else!


~~~~~~

 

Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SLIP RESISTANT

Aug 23, 2020

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news, much less a witness to the aftermath that may come with it. It does happen, though sometimes it has to happen. It's inevitable; a runaway train with no brakes or way to stop a crash from happening. The truth was bound to come out eventually, and the fucked up situation that unfolds afterward can range from awkward as hell to funny as fuck, depending on how warped your sense of humor is.


     Bad or funny, awkward or uncomfortable, to witness someone's discovery of some fucked up truth, what if you're the reason the truth came out?. It wasn't intentional, the wrong info came out at the wrong time n front of the wrong people. How do you react? What do you do? What can you say? Do you try to help the guilty save face and pretend it's a joke? Run the other way and watch that ship float or sinks on its own? Dash in the opposite direction to avoid being caught in the middle or shanked by mistake? Or do you pull out your camera phone because you know some fucked up funny shits about to go down?


     What if an innocent question, comment, complaint in front of the wrong person cause a scene or situation. Now you're stuck right in the middle of, with no avenue of escape? You meant well; you're just doing your job, and the result was spilling some shit someone else has to answer for. What if, during the typical performance of your job, you come across some information you have no choice but to reveal, knowing it's going to lead to a volatile situation?


- The cop who just pulled over a car and the woman inside just found out the guy she's on a date with is driving another woman's car; what's even worse is they've had sex in that car. An even bigger smack in the face will be when she finds out the other woman is her date's wife!


- The co-worker or supervisor who just asked the girlfriend/boyfriend if they're the spouse. Or the subordinate who just wished his boss and his girlfriend a happy 15th anniversary.


- The friend who just put it out in the open that you DID date/sleep with the opposite-sex friend you lied to your partner about while you both were in college. Hell, you almost got engaged.


- The priest who baptized two children over two weeks; the first was a married couple; the next weekend was the same guy but with his girlfriend.


- The doctor tells you that you have an STD, but your partner's test came back negative.


- The stranger who just let it out that the girl you just started seeing isn't the front office manager she told you she was, but a stripper who gets drunk and sucks dick for money.


- The teacher between parents who just found out their spouse has been fucking someone else who turned out to be their kid's best friend.


- The doctor in the room who just gave a pregnant woman her six months check-up. She tells the happy couple everything looks normal and healthy, but the confused husband tells the doctor he's only been home from deployment for three months.


- The pharmacist who has to stand there while someone has to explain to their partner why they just got a prescription for antibiotics for an STD when they told their partner they were getting meds for a UTI.


- The cellphone retailer who just asked the girlfriend if she's the wife on the account in front of the married man.


- The friend who just asked you about the guy/girl you were out in the parking lot with to fuck or went home with and fucked last weekend, not realizing their fiancee' was standing at the bar behind them.


- What do you do when you're the cashier who just rang up $150 sneakers for a couple when the girl's boyfriend shows up, catches her using the cash he gave her on another man and demands the cashier to refund and return his money.


- The waited who's serving the table when someone just got caught with somebody else having dinner. They already ate, and he can't pay the bill because his date walked out pissed, and his woman took back her bank card when she dumped him.


- The hospital staff who has to tell a man his son/daughter isn't his when there's a serious medical issue or accident, and he wants to donate an organ or blood to his child. Or when a man finds out, HE has a medical condition that made him infertile for years, but his wife is six months pregnant.


- The new friend you recently met, they call your spouse by your side piece's name, thinking they were the lover you've been bragging about.


- That person you've known for a few years who didn't know you were married, and they say so when they meet your spouse for the first time.


- That person who compliments or comments a change in the appearance of the person you're with from the last time they saw him/her, but they've never met.


- Confuse spouse or significant other with their child.


- The banker who just revealed the secret account or credit card in someone else's name.


- The mortgage broker that just gave away the presence of a second address while a married couple is refinancing their home. How about being the car dealer who just spilled the beans about the purchase/payment of an unknown 2nd vehicle when their car's brought in for service.


- The doorman at the club who just caught and confiscated the fake I.D. from the 16-year-old girl. She was trying to get into the club with her 22-year-old boyfriend, who she lied to about her age. And they've been dating/sleeping together for the last four months.


- The police officer who pulled over and has to arrest the guy for a warrant and suspended license. Plus, he has to impound and tow the car, leaving the woman he's on a date with, stranded 20 miles from her place.


- The coroner has to show two different people who show up to identify the same body of their spouse.


- The tax person who just asked you in front of your girlfriend/boyfriend if you'll be filing separately this year or married like last year.


- The hotel manager who asked you if you'd like your normal suite when you and your significant other show up to get a room for a romantic getaway and the other person's never been there before.


- The jeweler who just showed you the wedding ring you took in to have cleaned, instead of the earrings you had made for your girlfriend.


- Your regular mechanic/car detailer who just called to tell you the car you don't have is ready.


- The saleswoman who just asked your wife how she liked the sexy lingerie her husband bought her two weeks ago she NEVER got.


- Everyone in the delivery room where the husband's white, the wife is white, but she just gave birth to a biracial baby.


- The bartender who let it slip that you were at the club last weekend when you told your partner you were working late; they made a comment about who he thought were the two of you in the parking lot last week after closing.


What if the person who's just learning about something for the first time has questions for you? What if they want details as to whatever it is you just threw out in the open? If your profession dictated the release of information, one person tried to keep private, that's not your fault. If you happen to let some shit slip, I guess they should've been more careful about their bullshit or not have been doing it in the first place. The point is for you not to feel like you betrayed someone's trust or confidence. Definitely, don't risk your job, trying to keep someone from getting caught in their bullshit. If one of them is your friend, how do you think that friendship is going to continue after the storm clears and they're single, unemployed, or just plain passed out? If you find yourself in the middle of some shit, the best thing to do is turn your signal on, get all the way over to the right, and get off at the next exit and let traffic continue without your participation.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

TODAY'S DATE

Aug 09, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Coffee's not the only cliche', but it's fucking boring. Coffee as a first meeting or first date is a predetermined restriction on how much time a person has dedicated to spending getting to know enough about you and puts a 30-45 minute timer to plead your case for their interest or a first date. You essentially have until they finished their dessert or iced mocha whatever the fuck they ordered to convince them you're worth a chance.


     The suggestion of a movie as a first date will most likely always be met with rejection. "We can't talk during a movie" is their defense. So what you're saying is all we get is 90 minutes with you on the first date? Can't we meet before or talk afterward? Again, the time frame has been pre-established, but realistically, not wanting to see a movie on the first date isn't even something some people believe; it's more of what they've heard or been told by other people.


     Women are quick to shoot down the idea of a first date movie. They'll suggest dinner instead. First of all, if you're not paying or have any intentions on at least contributing, you have very little reasonable say in the planning or events of the date. That may sound shitty, but it's true. What women don't realize is that when they speak of, "Traditional" style dating, the man had 100% control over the date and the woman went along with whatever he had planned, so before you start talking shit about a man being TRADITIONAL, learn the whole fucking tradition, not just the part that benefits you by him paying!


     The first date should more about chemistry than conversation. Of course, communication's essential, but hopefully, you've spent some time via phone or text to decide on the initiation of the first date anyway. Besides, what's wrong with talking AFTER the movie? Even on the drive home, if the available time for the night's against you?


     "I can't see your face over the phone" is what a woman will say. "I can't see your eyes when we talk on the phone." "I want to see your eyes!" "The eyes are the window to the soul!" Shut that shit up; that's some shit you either read, heard in a movie, or from someone else. You came up with that silly-sounding shit to reinforce your case against the idea of a movie. The truth is that most of the other suggestions for a first date are just as ridiculous as irrational as you'll say a movie is for a first date, you just haven't put that much thought into them because you're merely repeating someone else's thoughts about it. Still, they're just as bad, if not worse.


- LUNCH/DINNER - I don't know about anyone else, but the last thing I want is to look across the table to see someone talking with a mouthful of food. Who wants to see a piece of salad of steak wedged between their date's teeth while they're having a conversation?


- SHOPPING - Awkward as hell. Grocery shopping is NOT a practical way to get to know someone, just because they're already out and about, and they're just a few minutes from where you are. Clothes shopping can also put someone in an awkward position in the event the person they're meeting up with is materialistic; you'll end up spending money you don't have to try to impress them or giving out too much info about your financial status.


- CHURCH - Just like your thoughts about a movie, you can't talk in church. Not only is it a weird situation to be in, what if the two of you don't share the same faith or religious ideals?


- HIKING - Once you're done, you have to clean up, even if it goes well enough to where you want to continue the first meeting into a first date. One person may be more accustomed to hiking than the other, and in an attempt to keep up with or impress you, they overextend themselves, resulting in an unhealthy situation.


- WORKING OUT/EXERCISE CLASS - This could be seen as a bad idea due to just plain, old, self-esteem. She may feel self-conscious about how she looks in workout clothes, especially if the women around her are smaller with tighter bodies. She may feel like shit because she's huffing and puffing on level 2, and every other woman around her is on level 7. He may not be as gym savvy as she is, and nothing will make him feel more like shit than if he can't keep up with her step or bike class. He may not be able to do as many push-ups or lift as much weight as he believes he should, and that'll fuck with his manhood. Also, the potential for injury, trying to impress each other, can be ridiculously high.


- FAMILY FUNCTIONS - You're just inviting them to a picnic, but to the other person, you're trying to introduce them to your family WAY too soon, and that'll run someone off quick, fast, and in a hurry. To them, you're moving far too fast into a relationship situation.


- DOUBLE DATE - Unless all four people know each other before the date, this is a bad idea because it puts the odd person at a disadvantage. He/she doesn't have the same relationship or history as the other three people sitting at the table. It's very easy to end up excluding them from the conversation as the others recall or reminisce over something that happened in the immediate or distant past. They can also be phased out of date altogether by the influence of a friend who may not want you together at all. It allows an escape or an unintentional diversion or their attention from the date to their friends.


- GROUP OUTING - For the same basic reasons as the double date, inviting someone out for a group outing restricts the one on one interaction, which is the point of the first date, to begin with. Especially when dealing with members of the group they may not have seen in a while, they'll want to monopolize your date's time, catching up, etc. Every time you try to converse with each other, someone else is walking up, interrupting you. Not to mention, the potential to get the wrong impression of your date, based on the behavior and personality of their friends may screw them over as well.


- SPORTS BAR - How's this any different than a movie? You're only getting half your date's attention; their other half keeps looking past or behind you at one of the 25 television screens, checking the scores or the last touchdown play. Even if you both are into sports, the situation's still the same; you BOTH are partially ignoring each other to watch the game.


- BOWLING/SKATING - From bowling to skating, what if one person has never done it? Do you think it's funny, cute, or endearing to laugh if they suck ass at bowling or keep falling down in the middle of the rink? Think you'll get a second date? What if they fall somewhat hard an injure themselves? Yeah, every time they look at the cast on their broken arm or brace on their knee will remind them of how great a fucking time they had with you! That's why they never called you back; they had SO much fun at the ER!


- COMPETITIVE ACTIVITIES - Some people take competition WAY too far. Why would you take someone paintballing who's never gone before and you play every weekend? Trying to impress your date with your skills will almost certainly backfire; it's about having fun, not showing off, or winning. A lot of people have a hard time remembering that.


- SPORTING EVENTS/CONCERTS - Just like a movie's a bad idea in your mind, how is a basketball/football game or concert any different? You can't talk; it's too loud. Besides, you're there to watch the game of the performance. Any conversation between the 2 of you takes away from the focus of the event in question.


- WEDDING - Just... Hell... NO!!!


- ANYTHING WITH KIDS - This can be tricky; don't just spring your children on your date when you show up. If your children aren't well-behaved, you're sure to make the first date the last date. If you can't get a sitter or they cancel at the last minute, communicate that instead of just bringing you kids along; just like family get-togethers, this is a step to take far too soon. Do you want to keep bringing new people around your children regularly anyway? That puts a fucked up idea of relationships in the head of your children as well.


- HAPPY HOUR - Yeah, they want to see you possibly get shit-faced drunk or vice-versa. They want to babysit you or watch you babysit someone else. Instead of enjoying your night together, getting to know each other, now you have to adjust or cut your night short because you have to take someone home.


- PARTY - Why would you think this is a better idea than a movie? This is a group outing on crack! Between the possibility of a fight breaking out to the ex showing up and ruining your night to the compromise of your safety, not knowing anyone there, but the person you went with. If something were to happen, you couldn't even give an address or the last name of anyone at the party.


     You may not even have had an issue with a movie until you heard someone else say how bad they think it is; in reality, there are so many more places and activities that are just as bad, if using the, "Can't talk during" defense. People get so stuck on just that one thing, and they rn with it as if it were law. Don't be so quick to dismiss the idea without considering how bad YOUR suggestion may be to that other person. The point of the first date should be more about physical and personal chemistry over the conversation, trying to figure out what kind of person they are face to face. Coffee is an awkward position to be in because one of you will always be looking at the clock or for a way out, JUST IN CASE of the meeting doesn't as planned, even if you're having a good time.


     What happens if/when you hit it off and don't want to end it just yet? By the time you've decided on the first date, you should already be at least somewhat interested, not trying to figure it out during the first meeting. Rushing prematurely into the first date without getting to know each other is setting themselves up for a potential one night stand or first date fuck. They could also be giving the impression they're looking to rush into a relationship or don't care about getting to know each other in-depth. Again, the first date should be more about chemistry over conversation; a lot of that should've already taken place.


     Although I don't see anything wrong with some of these ideas for a first meeting or date, quite a few people do; the question you should be asking yourself is why do YOU have an issue with them, not what someone else has told you, read in a book or magazine article. Make up your own mind. Realize when you turn down someone's idea for a meeting or date, you've already begun planting an impression in their head about you and the course of your interaction, whether good or bad, so be cautious but honest about how you bring it across. Don't agree to something you're not going to be into, because believe me; it's going to show if you're not enjoying yourself.


     Before you criticize a movie or suggest coffee, think about it. Get to know the person you're talking to, and you'll have a better idea of who they are so you can make a better-informed suggestion for the first meeting or first date. Really thin about why YOU believe some ideas are better or worse than others, and not just because somebody told you a movie was a shity idea and dinner was a better one. What you may have heard from someone else was or is a good or bad idea that may turn out to be the best first date you've ever had. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SATISFACTION NOT GUARANTEED

Aug 02, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     There's a huge difference between being happy and being satisfied in your sex life. Your partner loves you and enjoys the emotional connection you have when you're physical and sexual, but being physically satisfied is a whole other topic. Communication is the number one defense against getting the two confused, and most people won't talk to each other about how to make their sex life better to where both partners are being satisfied. There are a few reasons why you or your partner won't say anything.


- YOU/THEY WON'T LISTEN ANYWAY - They haven't had complaints in the past, so you shouldn't either. No one else cared enough about you to talk to you about how to make things better. Willful ignorance is enough. Men will take suggestions from his lady as a personal attack on his masculinity, pride, and ego. Even when it's just the two of them talking about it, he can subconsciously hear his friends making fun of him because he can't, "Please his lady" He's worried that if he doesn't believe he's handling his business, someone else will or will be trying to convince her to give them a chance.


     Women won't listen because her man won't listen to her. Why should she do what HE likes if he won't listen to her? She'll get sick of being cheated out of her satisfaction, her orgasms, wanting to try new things, or whatever. Sooner or later, she'll accept things won't change, and she'll either accept this and go on being unsatisfied, avoid having sex whenever she can, or she'll find somebody who can drop the dick down on her like a sledgehammer. She won't leave you for him, which is why the guy she's having sex with will most likely be undesirable to her in some way; education-wise, mentally, emotionally, socially, or economically. She'll also choose someone who may be in a relationship already or unavailable to reduce the chances of any type of attachment on his part.


- YOU/THEY'LL QUESTION THE ORIGIN OF YOUR REQUEST - If/when your partner comes out of the blue and asks for something new, adventurous, and different from their normal routine, one of the first things the other will do is wonder where these new ideas came from; who have they been talking to. They'll start to suspect you're fucking around, thinking about it, or you're talking to or complaining to someone you shouldn't about your sex life. Instead of seeing it as an attempt to improve your sex or give them satisfaction as well, they'll see it as a reason to accuse you of doing something you shouldn't.


- LACK OF INTEREST - If it goes on long enough, one or both of you will get bored with the sex you have and won't put into improving, so you'll just stop having sex altogether. Here and there; special occasions, boredom and there's nothing on television. The sensuality and intimacy have more than fizzled out, and the complacency has filled the void that was once your passion for each other.


- SELFISHNESS - They could care less if you get off, as long as they do. Men are more guilty of this reason, but women are just as faulty. They know you're not getting yours, and they don't care, as long as they're getting what they want. The man knows he does not satisfy his lady, and he doesn't care, as long as he's getting his. A woman will put her man's pride on trial by telling him he has to perform certain acts to please her.


- CONTROL - You both want to control what goes on in the bedroom, which probably means you're trying to control what goes on in the relationship, and it spilled into the bedroom. She doesn't want to give up her power or individuality; she thinks he's trying to make her look slutty in the eyes of others. How she looks to strangers means more to her than satisfying his cravings.


     He's swimming in masculinity; he's never had any complaints before, so she shouldn't have any either. He'll take his suggestions as a bid for power in the bedroom, and it's only a matter of time until she tries to extend that outside the bedroom. He won't give her control because he'll feel like his manhood is compromised. His and her pride and self-preservation will be challenged as they go back and forth, trying to control the bedroom.


- LACK OF EXPERIENCE - One may be far more experienced than the other, and that will cause the other person to feel like they're not good enough. They know they don't satisfy their partner, and since there's no communication, they don't know how to get in sync or back on track. Frustration will eventually take over, and surrender will most likely be the end result, whether just giving up with having sex altogether or accepting what's offered and dealing with it. The problem is when dealing with it, there may come a time where the more experience of the duo may look for satisfaction outside of the relationship.


- FEAR OF ATTACKING THEIR SELF- ESTEEM - Couples tend to take criticism personally, even if constructive and delivered with the softest and genuine intentions. They won't see it as a suggestion of improvement; they'll see it as a personal attack. Not wanting to shit on their partner's self-esteem, they won't say anything.


- NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM - There's very few things that will fuck someone's head up faster or harder than not being able to perform sexually. When your partner asks for something that will satisfy them, and you're unable to deliver, you'll melt like ice cream on a hot summer day. It's easier not even to try and believe you'll be able to deliver than to risk leaving your partner bent like a pretzel both physically and emotionally, as well as unsatisfied. With men, it'll only take one time to try and fail before he gives up on any idea of improvement and go right back to the same unsatisfactory sex, he's been giving all this time. Women will try, fail, and try something else.


- NERVOUS/UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU WANT - You may not even know what you're missing out on because you never had it before, but you know there's something missing; you know your sexual relationship's going down the drain, and you know you need to do something to revive it, or you're afraid your partner will start searching for someone who can meet their needs. One or both of you have been raised to think anything other than traditional sex is something to be ashamed of, so you'll stick to what you think, and feel is appropriate, and you'll just have to deal with what you’re doing and hope it heals itself. It won't.


     You can be happy in your relationship and utterly unsatisfied with your sex. You can be satisfied with your sensuality and intimacy, but your sex is fucking boring, and you'd rather just lie there until they're done or avoid the whole act altogether. The shitty part is when your partner's so blind they don't even notice. You're happy and satisfied with your sex, and that's what important; to you. There's nothing wrong with being happy; happiness isn't an insult. Not being satisfied isn't an insult either, if you're willing to listen to your partner when they try to communicate their lack of satisfaction.


     We have to be realistic; as we get older, we know we're not going to completely satisfy each other on a physical or orgasmic level every time; that's not the subject of this story. When you get to point to where one or neither of your needs are being met, there's something wrong, and it needs to be addressed and resolved as quickly but as delicately as possible. Having a healthy and utterly open line of communication is the primary weapon in not only this situation but almost every situation that can and will arise in a relationship. Not taking things personally or allowing your pride or self-preservation to get into the way of the improvement of your relationship is the second step. Just because someone brings something to you that may better your lives together doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong; it could be a suggestion to make things better and more enjoyable for the both of you.


     Being happy is one thing; you can be pleased with each other, and sex between you two is an emotional experience you enjoy, but you're just not getting off physically. No one wants to know they do not satisfy the person they're with, but it does happen, especially if and when you've been together for a long enough time. Between pride and fear, there are so many reasons sexual satisfaction will fizzle out.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CATCH .22

Jul 26, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     No one enjoys being made the fool. People don't go into relationships, hoping to get fucked over, but it does happen; it's a fact of life. While some have been lucky enough to not have had to experience being the victim of infidelity while others can't seem to avoid it, no matter what they do. The dark truth is most of the time, there's nothing that can be done to prevent it.


    That being said, trying to investigate every little inconsistency or weird inkling is a waste of time. Trying to catch someone doing dirty shit or preventing nasty shit from happening is destructive and unproductive; if it's going to happen, it'll happen, and all the control and preventative measures you employ won't stop it.


     All the accusations and investigating. Text-snooping, phone-checking, and stalking their email. You'll look like a fucking psycho, contacting everyone on their social media page, trying to figure out who they are and if they're doing anything with them. Keeping tabs on your partner is ridiculous and an unnecessary strain on your relationship. There's also a risk to your physical health and well-being. Trying to prove someone's guilt or prevent being cheated on can lead to both emotional and physical problems. Stress-related issues. High blood pressure. Ulcers. Migraines. Digestive problems. Eating disorders. Depression; even suicidal thoughts can manifest themselves in the most extreme cases. Is it REALLY worth it? For something, you can't prevent it. You can't control what someone else does; if they're going to fuck up, they're going to fuck up. Are you genuinely willing to put yourself through some shit, possibly for something that may not even be happening?


     There's some truth to the belief that if there's a feeling, there has to be a valid reason, but what about those people who are actually innocent? What's even worse is when you're wrong, and you find out you're wrong. How do you rectify all the bullshit you just put someone through only to find out they're just as faithful as you've been? What can you do to make things better? If you're right about your suspicions, the relationship's over. If you're wrong, you run the same risk, all for something you couldn't manage, even if you wanted to. Once the lines of trust and doubt have been crossed, the journey back will be a difficult one. You are trying to reconcile from infidelity or redeem yourself from false accusations.


     No matter how hard you try, you're not going to keep someone from fucking you over, if they intend to do so. If they truly want to step out on the relationship, it's going to happen, with or without your permission or how hard you try to prevent it. Being a strong-minded, confident person will allow for an easier recovery when things do go wrong. The ability to heal from whatever happened should be more of a focus than the investigation.


     People will go so far as to enlist the help of others to catch their partner doing dirty shit. Men and women will convince their friends to make a move on their partner; the drawback is when they end up choosing the absolute wrong person for assistance. That shit will definitely end up backfiring on you. The mission of your so-called "Spy" was just to deliver an innuendo or a few flirtatious invitations, not knowing their goal was to break you up for their benefit. They'll take it too far, go out on the proposed date, fuck your partner, then claim they did it for you. Where YOU become the dumbass is when you ignore the fact they went out and fucked your partner because you're so focused on proving you were right all along.


     While you're so busy, trying to catch your partner doing dirty shit, you may miss out on some shit that's going on right in front of your face. One of your friends is trying to get what you have. You're so wrapped up in your investigation that one person you're confiding in could be feeding you bullshit or putting themselves in a position to become their next option when your psychosis has gotten the better of you, and your present relationship ends. Then you're stuck wondering what the fuck happened when all along, nothing was going on, and you fucked up the best relationship you ever had, trying to play inspector. The fact of the matter is that if they WERE doing you wrong, good riddance; if they weren't, you sent them to the arms of the same person who was trying to drive a wedge between you in the first place.


     If it's going to happen, it'll happen, no matter what you do. If you're not ready to let things run their course without being suspicious 24/7, maybe you're not prepared to be in any relationship. Maybe you're hurting from something that happened between you and your partner you thought you could get past; perhaps you're still hurting from a past relationship. In any case, make sure you've healed from your past before bringing the unnecessary baggage from your past to your present; rest assured, it'll fuck up your future.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

HOUSEGUEST

Jul 19 2020

BY D.K. LION

     It's over, and you both know it, but you can't make the break; finances, kids, shared expenses, obligation, fear, or comfort. To everyone else, you're the perfect couple; you don't fight, argue, or react to negativity or drama. That's because you don't care; there are no accusations, suspicions, or interrogations. You do you, and they do the same. As long as the bills get paid, it's all good. Everyone's jealous of what seems like a flawless match.


     Why can't you make the break? Perhaps it's the thrill of having the best of both worlds; she gets to maintain her relationship with you and take her time finding and meeting your replacement. She can cultivate a relationship with someone else without rushing in or jumping out of one right into another. He gets to go out, meet other women and fuck around, but can still come home to fuck if he strikes out. They both know the other's halfway out the door, and it doesn't phase or bother either of you because she knows he's meeting, dating, and fucking other women. He knows she's seeing someone, somebody's already showing interest in her, or she has someone in mind. They have an unspoken agreement not to bring those people around their kids or to the home they share.


     Neither of you can really afford to move out or live on your own. You'd rather live in a house together than an apartment by yourself. You feel the kids need to have both parents under the same roof. Whatever the reason or reasons are, you're roommates who fuck; in-house FWB. It makes sense to the two of you, but don't seem to understand why others have an issue with it, or why they won't date you. The thought of living with the person you're halfway in a relationship with doesn't cross your mind at all.


     On the outside, you act like things are great, but you know they're not. You both put on a happy face when you leave the house. Your relationship is fun, laughter, and the envy of those you know. You're the perfect match for each other at your respected workplace functions. You're all about respect and courtesy. What they don't see is what happens behind closed doors; you barely speak, and you're always off, doing your own things.


     You're playing house, no different than when you were young children. You act like a couple, but you know that shit isn't real. There are a mommy, daddy, and kids. The difference now is the play kitchen's real, your place is real, the kids are real, and when you're bored and tired of playing, the game's over.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PORN TO BE WILD

Jul 5, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Addiction to porn is something most couples go through at some point in their relationship. Where one person would rather sit in front of a screen and fantasize about being with someone or somewhere else, having some type of sex they're not getting at home, for whatever reason. Without getting into the reasons why someone would choose the world of make-believe over a flesh-and-blood partner, society views porn as something vile and revolting; something to be ashamed of. I don't agree. True, it can easily get out of hand and become addictive; but so can video games, sports, soap operas, reality television, social media, the list goes on. Anything in moderation can be both entertaining and harmless; keeping it in moderation is what people seem to have issues with.


     What happens when you can't control what you eat? How much you eat? Overindulgence in everything from food to cellphone usage can have addicting effects on people. While some can't even leave the house for 15 minutes without their cell phone. To those who can't even eat a damn pastry, without snapping a picture of a fucking cupcake and uploading to social media. Too much of anything has the potential to be harmful in one way or another. Porn is no exception.


     That being said, when speaking inside the realm of moderation, porn could and does have positive effects, depending on how you look at it.


Porn satisfies a desire for fantasy. Things you may not have the courage to bring to your partner. You may be single and come across something you never thought about; an attraction to a specific sized man or woman. A previously unrealized interracial or multi-ethnic attraction. Something unconventional that allows you to step out of the normal for a while and live through someone else's experiences. If you're in a relationship, porn can open you both up to things you may not have even thought about; Costumes, role-playing, foreplay, etc. Maybe there are things you've wanted to try with each other, but felt weird about having those thoughts or desires. Watching porn together brings you to the conclusion that your ideas aren't that far-fetched; that it's normal and done by more couples than you thought. What you considered, "Freaky" or, "Nasty" is practiced relatively regularly, just not in your normal, "Cookie-cutter" social circle.


     Porn can be used as entertainment; nothing more. It's cool to watch. It's cheaper than the strip club. Porn can be a life-saver when you're in a dating or sexual slump. Research. Being single, porn can teach even the oldest dog a new trick or two. It could be just what you need to avoid the whispers of inadequacy from potential future partners. It can allow a person the ability to discover things about themselves, their own bodies, or desires they may not have given much thought to. The potential for self-discovery is almost limitless. As a couple, porn can rejuvenate your sex life. When both parties are willing to accept new ideas into their dynamic, that doesn't always necessarily mean threesomes or multiple partners, which is where most men seem to hit the ground running towards like a kid on Christmas morning. Foreplay; porn can be a fantastic precursor to sex. We all know how quick that first release can come when you're excited, and getting that first one out of the way will make intercourse last much longer.


     Porn allows for the exploration of yourself and your partner, learning what turns THEM on and vice-versa. New positions, fantasies, fetishes, and techniques. Porn can initiate or unlock a primal, sexual side in yourself or your partner that could blow your fucking mind. The possibility of opening Pandora's box. Going from the same 2-3 positions at the same time, the same way, on the same day? Nowadays, she can't even walk past him without dropping to her knees or climbing on top of him. That ball game just doesn't have the same importance as it did before; he's too busy trying to get his clothes off and into the shower with you as fast as he can.


     Porn allows you the freedom of variety without cheating; as long as you keep your fantasies in your head, your pants zipped up, and your dress/skirt pulled down. Porn is safe sex; you can't get an STD/STI from your hand or fingers. It's less dangerous than a one-night stand or a first-date fuck. You can enjoy yourself and get yourself off safely in your own home and behind locked doors, instead of taking the risk of going to someone else's place, not knowing what the fuck you may be walking into.


     Porn is sex without judgment, exploration, and experience without embarrassment or humiliation. Porn is a safe alternative over risk. In the right light, porn can be a hell of a teacher when you need a tutor to help you navigate the class to a higher, more exciting world of sexual expression between you and your partner. Like so many other things, moderation is paramount. It knows when you're spending more time fantasizing instead of implementing with your partner. If you can't get excited or last longer than 5 minutes with a real-live person, but can go all night watching porn, you need help, just like over-eating, over-training, etc. Whatever your vice is, good or bad, when you go overboard, no one wins. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PULL START

Jun 28, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     You're bragging about how much sex you're getting, but it's all quantity, not quality. Ladies, you aren't pulling dick, you're getting fucked. Men, you aren't pulling pussy, you're fucking whatever you can stick your dick into; and yes, there IS a difference.


     Are you truly the ladies man or player you think you are? Ladies, are these guys giving you money and feeding your ego because you deserve it, or because they know when they go out with you, they're going to get some pussy? Are you getting so much pussy because your, "Game" is that smooth, or are you going for pussy that hasn't been fucked in so long, it has tumbleweeds and spider webbing in front of it? Or maybe you're fucking pussy that fucks everyone it comes across. Are you going for women who's just happy someone's taking an interest in them, even though they know what you're all about?


     You're bragging about getting dick that would fuck a shaved gopher if it had a big enough ass. You're proud to tell your buddies how you fucked three women over the weekend. You're either proud or confused about your low standards. A woman will out a good, decent man's value on the same scale as those who don't have a pot to piss in or a place to throw it out. You're flying so low to the ground because it's safer in case you run into resistance, or you don't have the skills to master flying as high as you truly want to. Maybe it's because you're a single-propeller WWI biplane and you're trying to dogfight against a radar-resistant, next-generation, cloak-capable, heavily armed warbird of destruction.


     Are you pulling pussy, or are you fucking what's easy and available? Are you working hard and earning your pussy paycheck, or are you content with or happily living off the government? Are you picking the good berries from the tree or the ones that are already on the ground? Are you truly pulling and working that dick you're bragging about, or are you just giving up the pussy and accepting money and gifts? Whether you realize it or not, when you go into work the next Monday, talking about how all these men you have been doing things for you because they like you, you're telling them you're being paid to fuck.


     You claim to have the gift to pull all this pussy or all these men at your feet, but what type of pussy or dick are you REALLY attracting? Are you just bragging about fucking or your ability to find pussy? Are you attracting these men, or are they just coming you because they know they get to fuck? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy? You're bragging about all this pussy you getting high-caliber, quality pussy, or, "Junk ass"? Are you stepping into the ring with well-trained, equally matched opponents, or someone who just started taking cardio kickboxing for the first time? You're proudly claiming dick that no one else wants has already had or has been turned down by every woman you're bragging to. You're bragging about pussy everyone else has fucked. You're not pulling pussy; you're fucking outcasts and pussy that'll open up for the 2 for $25 meal special at the local chain restaurant and think she's living the high life.


     Stop fucking and make them wait a month; hell, make them wait three dates see how many of them ask you out a second or third time. Get a reputation that you're no longer a first date fuck and see how quickly you well dries up; how limited your choices become. Expect and demand more time and effort into getting in your pants, and all that dick you're bragging about pulling will dry up like a fucking desert. Your popularity comes from your pussy, your ego from your willingness and ability to suck dick on the first night. Your reputation for being a ladies man and your confidence comes from scraping the bottom of the barrel, wiping the outer rim and bottom of the bowl with your biscuit, trying to get the last bit of sauce. You're trying to lick the cake batter bowl!


     If you're giving up the pussy, give up on the thought of meeting someone special, and of good quality, unless you go looking somewhere you've never been before; your reputation at your regular social or professional has been decimated. Is quality even a goal for you? Or are you happy putting in a little as possible for the scrap sex you get? You're giving out raggedy dick like last year's Halloween candy to fat kids who give a fuck, as long as it's candy. In her mind, she's working game on him because she has all these other men coming at her, but her pussy is her symbol of status, her centerpiece, her personality. You think you're playing him because you're pulling all this dick. Not only are you playing yourself, but you're also getting fucked in the process by guys who wouldn't even look your way if you weren't giving up the pussy.


     They don't want to go out with you or be seen in public with you, but they know they HAVE to get the pussy. You think you're pulling pussy, but you're fucking women who are just grateful to have a dick! Don't act like your something to be revered. You probably did take her out and, at some point, kissed her without the thought of how many dicks she's sucked and swallowed just last week alone! You're hopping on top and riding unprotected dick like a cowgirl, and he could have mad cow disease on his shit!


     You're not pulling dick; you're giving up the ass and getting fucked. You're trying to make your friends and co-workers jealous with stories about getting fuck by raggedy dick. They may act interested and envious of you to your face, but they're laughing at you behind your back; if you only knew how many other women he's fucking or fucked. If you only knew how many of them had turned his nasty ass down until he found, you. You're looking for celebratory support and accolades for fucking nasty, stank, drunk pussy they've already fucked or are STILL fucking, along with everyone else in the office or at the club. Are you truly pulling pussy or fucking easy pussy? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy?


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FEEL FREE

Jun 14, 2020

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

      You did or said something fucked up and got caught or called out on it. Instead of owning up to it, you offer what you think is an apology by saying, "I'm sorry you took it that way" or, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."


      You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them, plain and simple. You were offensive or condescending, and they let you know, you just weren't ready for it. Your bullshit, a half-ass apology isn't even an apology; it's as an accusation of their oversensitivity.


     Why are you REALLY saying you're sorry? Because of what you did or said, or is it to differ the situation and avoid escalation? Are you apologizing for HOW you said whatever you said that pissed the other person off? Most likely, you're saying you're sorry for thinking the other person was too dumb to realize what you did or said was so fucked up. "Sorry, I hurt your feelings," is nothing more than saying, "Great! Now I have to wipe, powder, and coddle your frail-minded, fetal ass through this until you get over it".


     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" isn't an apology, it's a deflection. It shifts the spotlight from the offender and places the blame and focus on the offended. To them, it's YOUR fault you're so fucking sensitive you got butthurt and sand in your asshole; they're sorry they pushed your baby bitch button. Their apology is them telling you you're fucking soft and need to harden your ass up. Just because someone brought something to you doesn't mean their feelings got hurt; you pissed them off. In their mind, you didn't realize what you did or said was fucked up; as a friend, they brought it to your attention, and you dismissed them. Your half-ass apology compounded the situation.


     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" is saying you're a fucking crybaby, and now they have to say they're sorry for making you show it. It's an underestimation of your intelligence and ability to take something and let it roll off your back. They're saying sorry for assuming you were too simple-minded to decipher whatever they said or did as shitty, and it was; just plain shitty. Then they fed you bullshit on top of it because you called them out on it, and now they have to make amends for it. The apology isn't meant for the person who was offended; it's to make the offender feel as if they realized their error and learned from it. It's all about clearing their conscience. Women say it to make a man feel like shit for being bothered by something, basically putting his manhood on the cutting room floor. Men say it more to make her feel oversensitive.


     You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them. You may not realize or want to admit it, but that's what you did. You can't control how someone takes what you did or said, so don't argue; don't defend and don't make excuses. If you're going to say you're sorry, do it for what you did or said, not how they took it. Don't dismiss or trivialize how someone feels when they bring something to you that offended them. Don't assume you hurt their feelings and don't accuse them of being too sensitive. You fucked up and said something stupid or offensive, and instead of owning up to it, tried to shift your stupid, shitty comment into an accusation. You assume someone's feelings are hurt because it's the first thing that came to your mind when you realized the other person caught on to what you did or said. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

LOVE STORY

Jun 7, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     When talking about love, you have to be careful how you use it; "I love you" isn't something to play around with or take lightly, and it definitely isn't something to just throw out when you don't mean it. Love isn't the word to be thrown around or to be said and left open for translation. From the love of self, love for people in general, friends & family, to romantic and even maniacal love, clarity is paramount when telling someone you love them. You may be talking about having a love for someone, but they've translated it into romantic love, only to have the truth come back and bite them in the ass later because you weren't clear with your words.


     It's the responsibility of both people to seek pure clarity when talking about love. If both are saying it, they BOTH need to be perfectly transparent about the feelings and sentiment they're trying to relay. Having a love for someone isn't the same as being in love with them. Loving someone isn't the same as being in love with someone. Men, you aren't stupid or ignorant; you know your lady. When you use the word "Love," you know EXACTLY how she is going to take it unless you spell it out and define what you mean without beating around the bush or trying to remain ambiguous about the type of love you're referring to. If you allow a woman to believe you're in love with her, knowing that's not where you are, then you're an asshole, plain and simple. You know they have or will relate it to romantic love. Trying to claim you didn't mean it the way she took it is fucked up when/if she calls you out on it.


     After being caught cheating, talking to, or spending time with someone else after using the word love, just to turn around and blame them for how he/she misunderstood what type of love you meant makes you an asshole. You purposely avoided being clear about your feelings beforehand because you wanted and needed a bullshit excuse for when you got caught doing dirty shit. You'll make sure she understands what type of love you REALLY meant when she catches you doing some dirty shit.


     Women don't normally use the word, "Love" unless they actually mean it. If they're not there yet, they'll tell you. They'll define their love if it's any type, other than romantic without hesitation. Even saying the words are important to a woman and they're cautious as caring for a newborn child when it comes to stating feelings of love, whether to family, friends, or a partner. Women are more inclined to feel and admit her love sooner than a man to everyone, except that man; she'll wait on him to say it first to avoid putting herself out in the open for fear of rejection. She'll tell her co-workers, friends, family, etc. On the other hand, men will NOT admit his love to anyone, EXCEPT, the woman he means it to, not even his best friends. He'll assume they just know.


     So, why do people say, "I love you" when they really don't? Out of obligation. They've been in their relationship for so long, they feel it's the right thing to say, or they believe if they don't say it, the other person will end the relationship. Obligation to keep the relationship together and each other happy. Some ridiculous, unrealistic, and non-existent timeline will convince them it's about time they said it, and sooner or later, they eventually mean it anyway.


     People will say, "I love you" for sex, pure and simple. Especially men, they know their woman's holding back a level of sexual expression and desires he wants her to give him, but she's reserving that side of herself for the man she's in love with and loves her too. He'll want 100% of what she has to offer in the bedroom, and he knows to tell her he loves her is the key to that treasure chest of freak nasty shit he wants her to do.


     The response is another reason people will say, "I love you." Their partner said it, so it's just natural for them to say it in response. It's second nature for them to say it back, without even thinking about it.


     Saying, "I love you" immediately puts an end to any conversation about deeper feelings or emotions. A man knows that's what she wants to hear when she's asking about the direction the relationship is heading. What his intentions are, or any thoughts about his feelings about her or the relationship. He doesn't want to get into it right then or at all. He wants to get back to the game or the computer. Hell, he wants to get back to mowing the lawn if it'll get him away from the conversation.


     People will say, "I love you" because it benefits them in some way. The person they're saying it to is proving them with something, whether it be financial, physical, emotional, or materialistic. They know saying those three words put them in a position to continue receiving whatever they are getting from the recipient. The giver may genuinely love the receiver, but it's only one-sided. The love they claim to have is only stated to ensure a place to stay, a car to drive, or money in their pocket.


     Whatever the situation, any reason other than true love is a shitty reason to tell someone you love them, even if it's to save the other person from feeling vulnerable or foolish, honesty is the best policy. When you're using the word, "Love," make sure the intended person knows precisely what type of love you're talking about if it's not romantic love. Don't use Love ambiguously; don't leave it open for interpretation because you want to avoid talking about your actual feelings. Sex is the absolute most fucked up reason to tell someone you love them. Remember, at some point, you've been on the receiving end of the same situation, or you may be in it as you read this. Love is a feeling, a reason to celebrate, appreciate and enjoy everything that comes with it. Don't be an asshole and turn it into something you pull from your toolbox when you need to fix or adjust a situation to fit your needs.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FAITH BASED

May 31, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Even the most faithful men and women will most likely end up with a side-piece at one time or another, but not in the way you might think. There may be a friend or relative, male or female your partner doesn't really like you hanging out with because of their behavior or reputation. They don't like you being around each other, and they'll tell you they have an issue with you hanging out with them because of the negative influence they expose you to. Wanting to avoid an argument or to keep them from causing a bigger issue than what it could or should be, you tell them you won't hang out with them anymore.


     You know that's a lie; you told them that to get them off your back; to end the conversation as quickly as possible. You told them that to make them happy and avoid the bullshit. You've been friends through a lot of shit over the years, and just because your present partner doesn't like them, you're not going to abandon the friendship. You just want to avoid ripples in the relationship, so you decide the best route to go is to cheat on your partner with your best friend.


     She has that one friend who's the life of the party. You can bet she's the type of girl who'll jump up on the bar and flash the entire room for drinks. She has a man, but as long as she doesn't hook up with them, anything else goes. Your man doesn't like you hanging out with her because she's always trying to get you to be more, "Independent," not to let your man, "Tell you what to do." She tries to talk you into doing the same shit she does, dancing with other men. You've been friends since high school, and you'll tell your man you won't hang out with her anymore after the last time she got drunk, hooked up with some guy, and ended up on your couch. That's a lie; you're cheating on your man with YOUR best friend.


     You may not see this as cheating, but look at the truth behind it; you lied to your partner about not seeing someone, or you told them you wouldn't spend time with them, knowing you would. You left the house, knowing you were going to see them, and you have no intention of telling your partner you were around them. You went to a movie, dinner, the bar/club, wherever. You know if your partner found out, they'd be pissed because you deceived them. You know if you got caught, you'd have to come up some of the same bullshit excuses you'd come up with if you got caught cheating with someone of the opposite sex; ESPECIALLY if the friend is of the opposite sex. All the components of cheating on your partner are there.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FAVORITISM

May 10, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     It's your favorite purse. That watch goes with everything you wear. It's the warmest, most comfortable sweatshirt for a lazy day of curling up and watching movies on a lazy weekend during the winter. It's your favorite dress, shirt, or suit.


     The problem is that watch was a gift from your ex-girlfriend. Those earrings were from your former fiancee. The sweatshirt was your ex-boyfriend from his college years. The question is, should you still have it? Should you still be wearing it? Even worse, do you think your present partner wants to see you in that shit? If you're single, who cares? If your new partner doesn't care, it's all good. But what if they have an issue with it? What if they don't know where it came from? Should you wait for them to ask, or should you come clean and admit it upfront? Would or could you part with it if they told you they felt insulted and disrespected that you thought they'd be okay with it?


     If the relationship ended negatively, why would you want any reminders of such a fucked up situation? If it was amicable, don't you think you may be sending a signal that you might not be completely over your attachment to that other person? You may not see anything wrong with it, but even gifts from your ex-partner's kids may cause a rift in your present relationship. Is it disrespectful to not only hold on to certain items after a breakup? Is it fucked up for your new partner to have an issue with it?


     You flaunt it around proudly, even though it's one of your favorite items, and you expect your partner to accept and get over it? Some like a television, laptop, furniture, or something of that nature is one thing; something you purchased together may fall into that category as well. There are certain things that hold a value of convenience and a value of sentiment. The items of sentiment are those that are in question. An item of clothing, jewelry, pictures, or other personal memorabilia should be common sense. Why the fuck would you think your new partner wants to have sex with you on the silk sheets your ex gave you on your anniversary? The lingerie she bought to turn another man on?


     Experiences are just going to have to be dealt with. You can't get bothered if your partner's ex took them on their first cruise, and they want to do it again with you. It was their first and only experience at an amusement park, and they want to share it with you. Sexual positions and/or experiences are absolutely off the table of being exclusive to a single relationship; that's shit you're just going to have to just deal with, especially in your older/more mature years. You cant get caught up wondering how many times tor how many people they've done something particularly enjoyable for the both of you.


     Any rationalization or defense of keeping something that came from an ex is a delicate situation with explosive properties. One one hand, if you own up to it upfront, you run the risk of your partner having issues with it; on the other, you risk an even bigger storm of shit from your partner if they found out down the line. Regardless of the answer and if you agree or not, open communication is the first step, depending on what it is, cop to it, and allow them to tell you how they feel about it. Should these things be returned? Boxed up" Burned? Pawned for cash? Are you that selfish and self-centered, or do you really feel there's nothing wrong with holding on to items given to you from a previous relationship?


     It doesn't matter if it's your favorite whatever it is; if it came from your ex, you have to willing and ready to part with it, upon request. You'll give the impression you're still holding on to that relationship, or some part of it. Even an old picture of an ex and their kids or family may hold some sentimental value to you, but don't bring that shit out to show your, new partner, thinking your funny story behind the photo will be as amusing to them as it was to you and your ex at the time it happened. Your memories from your previous relationships are really of no interest to your present partner. They don't care about that trip you took, the funny thing that happened at their parent's anniversary dinner, the drawings his/her kids gave you while you were together. Toss it or keep that shit to yourself.

 

     Should you burn that sweatshirt? That's up to you, but to wear it when you're cuddled on the couch or snuggled with your man makes you an asshole. You don't have to wear the ring your ex gave you on your very first Valentine's Day when you're out to dinner on Valentine's Day with your new partner. Don't even think about wearing the jersey your ex-girlfriend bought when the two of you went to your first football game together; that's just as shitty. Yeah, it's comfy; you've had it forever. Your last ex had no problems with it. These are not reasons to excuse, rationalize, or defend you against how your present partner should feel about it. How your friends think your partner should feel is none of their concern to the subject. Holding on to something from a previous relationship is a gamble; you take your chances with each new relationship that just may be the one that doesn't want to imagine or see you wearing or displaying something your ex gave you.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PEACE OF MIND

May 3, 2020

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     True, you get to keep the peace in the home, or in your relationship, but at what cost? Your thoughts and opinions have been voiced, heard, and acknowledged many times over. What if there was something that was bothering you, but you can't or won't talk about it, not because you're afraid of physical or mental abuse, not because you thought you'd be punished, or not taken seriously? Some people just don't speak their minds because they don't want to cause waves or ripples in the water; they don't want to miss out on an opportunity, or they just don't want to hear the other person's fucking mouth about it.


SCENARIO 1. Marcus and Trina are in the checkout line at the store, paying for their groceries. Being an interracial couple, they know certain people have issues with them being together, and they have absolutely no intention of letting those individuals bother them in the least bit. It wasn't a shock or surprise to them to hear a woman standing behind them talking shit about them being together. What's sets this situation apart is that this woman isn't on the phone talking shit, she's not with her girlfriend talking shit, she's with her MAN talking shit! On and on she goes, calling their relationship an abomination; how white women are, "Stealing" good black men, how white women are doormats, or the only reason they're together is that she sucks his dick or takes it in the ass.


     People are entitled to their own opinion, the question is, why does this concern her in the least bit? A better question is, why the fuck does she think her man wants to hear her bitch about another man and what he's doing? The ultimate question would be why that man doesn't that man stand up for himself and ask her who the fuck cares? Why isn't he telling her to shut the fuck up? Because he's afraid he'll piss her off and he doesn't want to hear her mouth at him. In his mind, he knows she's going to bitch about something; as long as it's not towards him, he'd rather sit there with his mouth shut.


SCENARIO 2. Beth is an absolute prize. She's smart, funny, and down-to-earth. She doesn't mind paying for her half of the date; hell, she has no problem asking a man out. Along with the stereotypical "Girl stuff," she also likes sports, action movies, even video games. Everyone likes Beth. Her male friends and/coworkers will tell you how cool she is, and she a wide variety of interests and hobbies. On paper, she's the perfect catch for ANY man. So, why's she still single? At 5'7" and 170 pounds, not many men see past her weight when it comes to being attracted to her. In walks Jimmy, a good-looking guy who catches the interest and attention of his fair share of women, and he knows it. Whether in the office or at the bar, Jimmy's known for having short-term relationships or going after women who are more likely to have sex with him after just a date or two. Jimmy's not one to put in too much effort into someone who isn't giving it up.


     Although Beth knows about Jimmy's alleged reputation, you'd ask yourself, why the hell would she still go out with him, knowing all he wants to do is fuck, especially when she doesn't even really want to on the first date? Not only will she put her all into the experience, giving him everything he could ever ask for sexually, hoping he'll be persuaded to take an interest in her. Why won't she speak up and tell him she's not ready? Because she knows if she does, that'll be the last time she hears from him.

It's not to say men will always keep things to themselves in order to keep the peace with his lady. He won't turn that hot girl at the club away, even though he despises smokers, and she smells like a fucking chimney. A woman will reluctantly swallow for a man she just met, or even HER man, even though she really hates doing it. A woman who knows her man's temper when he's angry or agitated won't ask him to calm down because she knows how he is and doesn't want that anger directed to her. 


     A man won't speak his mind if he's dancing with a woman, and she keeps biting his ears really hard or pinching the fuck out of his nipples. He's so worried about upsetting her and running off potential pussy; he'll just take it and laugh it off. A woman will give a man she has absolutely no attraction or chemistry with her phone number, in order to avoid having to admit she's not interested or avoid being asked to explain why she isn't, only to have to deal with him the next time she sees him at the club. A guy will have sex with a woman he thinks is ugly as fuck; as long as he's getting pussy and his friends don't find out.


     People won't speak their minds because they're afraid of losing their friends who may be alcoholics or pot smokers. They don't want to be labeled a bitch or an asshole. They want to avoid being labeled a troublemaker or whistleblower at work. They don't want to be known as someone who can't be a team player when needed fear of missing out on advancement or other opportunities. People hate being wrong. Some are just more comfortable being sheep than shepherds. People don't speak up because of their need and desire to fit in; the price of alienation or exclusion is one they're not interested in paying. You care more about other's feelings and how they think then your own.


     There's always the possibility of physical violence when speaking up. You may be in a relationship where your partner has been known to take things to a physical level. Not just men, but women also. They view you're speaking up as both defiance and a physical challenge. Men will see this as a play for control of the relationship he must defend. Women will interpret her man's voice as an attack on her independence, which she'll defend like a battle flag.


     Sinister reasoning is another reason people won't speak up. Tim knows for a fact John's not reassembling the carburetor correctly, but he won't say anything to him, because he doesn't like John and will do anything, he can to make him look bad. Tina knows the time of the new client presentation was changed from 10 in the morning to 9, but won't tell Ann until 8:30, because they're both up for the same promotion and she knows Ann's more qualified, so she'll do anything to make her look bad in front of the big bosses. Jason doesn't like his neighbor, Mark, so when Jason sees him trying to use a chainsaw to cut down a tree in his yard and he's not wearing safety equipment. Jason won't speak up, because he hates Mark so much, he wants to see him get hurt.

     

     You don't speak up because you don't want to upset anyone or make them feel stupid, even if they're wrong. If they believe they're right, they'll continue to do the wrong thing, and eventually, someone WILL correct them. What if they're doing something unsafe? The last thing you want to do is direct your partner's anger and frustration at an unrelated situation to you, so you keep your mouth shut and allow them to disrespect you. Keeping the peace is one thing; silencing yourself to keep others from disliking you is something totally different altogether. You should never sacrifice your voice, just to appease others or to keep from losing someone, even is that someone is important to you.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FLUENT TREATMENT

APRIL 26, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     For far too long, women have allowed other women, friends, family, and even strangers to influence how they receive attention and physical affection from her man or men they find themselves attracted to. Women have allowed men to dictate what they'll give and what they expect in return on THEIR terms. Not just her friends or family, but society as a whole will put her morals, self-respect, and/or reputation on trial if she gives into her sensual and intimate inner self or desires and fantasies.


     Are there REALLY women out here who get dressed for a romantic night out with her man, hoping he won't make her feel like the sexiest, most desired woman in the room? Women have each other brainwashed into thinking her man's disrespecting her when/if he wants her hands in his pants or his inside her dress or down her blouse. PDA, making out, or however the physical activity may take form, women will attack and criticize a man's respect for his lady if he interacts with her in the way they don't approve of. They'll talk shit about her if they don't know the woman; if they do, they'll try to convince her that man's degrading her or making her look like a slut. So what? Why wouldn't a woman want to do what her man likes or vice-versa? Not to imply anyone should do anything they don't want to do, based on their own personal convictions, but not wanting to look bad on the eyes of someone else should never trump your partner's needs.


     On the subject of needs, communication is key when it comes to making sure each other's needs are being met. Too many times, people are either turned off or offended by the discussion of physical and sexual needs. Conversations about sensual or intimate expectations are met with negativity. Women will take offense to it, thinking it's too soon to be talking about it, and men won't bring it up wanting to avoid running a woman off. It could also be that both of them may not even know what their needs are, or are afraid of talking about it, not wanting to give the other person the wrong impression. She doesn’t want him to think she's a whore who goes around rubbing her ass up on every guy, and he doesn't want her to think sex is the primary thing on his mind.


     How two people behave towards each other is their business, that's their relationship and how they choose to show their attraction to each other. If they both crave and enjoy it, it's not yours or anyone else's place to criticize or question that; it's no one's place to imply any negative thoughts about their respect for themselves or each other. Not to say a couple should be making out and groping each other in a family restaurant, in the middle of the grocery store, or anywhere children would be; being appropriate in the right environment IS important. Most people who see this behavior as negative are either jealous because they aren't getting it. They're unaware of how it feels because they've never had it. They've had someone else tell them it's wrong, dirty, or even sinful to act on or desire it. People see it as negative because they're secretly craving it themselves, but can't get it from their partner, or are afraid of judgment in the eyes of their family or social circle. Fear of being labeled a "Freak."


     Women have issues with being open about their need for more intense sensual and sexual affirmation because they were taught to believe a woman should behave with more dignity and self-respect. Sucking her man's dick was dirty. Having her man's hands all over her body and showing her how bad he wants to bend her over right then and there was shameful. They were raised to believe women like that are degrading themselves. Women were ALSO raised to believe a fucking fairy princess was an actual occupation for little girls. Little girls were allowed to believe raising a child was as simple as caring for her baby dolls. Obviously, they grew out of that bullshit, so why would this be any different?


     The reasons behind a man not wanting his woman to be more assertive and expressive sexually are much simpler. Sure, he may have been raised to believe he's disrespecting his lady by expressing his sensual or sexual attraction, but that's not normally the case. Where porn is so readily available and abundant, a man's ability to separate porn from real life gets blurred a hell of a lot more than women. A man won't view the physical and sexual expression as a matter of respect vs. degradation; he just doesn't want it from his lady because quite frankly, he can have that anytime he wants. He's more into the thrill of the porno hunt. He'll turn down his lady when she wants to show him public intimacy and sensuality, claiming to have more respect for her than that, or he'll tell her that's not how he is, at least not with HER. Let him go out with his friends; he's fucking women, "Doggy-style" on the dance floor. Some men will grind on another woman so hard he'll literally bust a nut on himself in his pants. His mission for the night is to get a handful of ass and any other indicators she'll go out to his car and fuck him like a titan at the end of the night. He'll try his best to get his hands down the inside of her dress or top. Don't be fooled; your man WANTS to feel and get felt up, just not by you!


     Men won't judge other men about how they treat their women based on sexual interaction. They see it as a good thing. Whether they admit it or not, most men WANT a woman who's open enough to slide her hand inside his pants and stroke him until he releases himself, even if she's ugly as fuck. If he's dirty like that and doing dirty shit, he won't care how the other woman looks; his focus is on busting a nut and bragging about how it made him feel like he was in a real-life porno scene. The reason he wouldn't want his lady to do it is that he's trying to maintain a certain level of distance between them so he can play down their relationship in case he sees something else he likes. That also explains why your man will distance himself in public at the club but will want his dick sucked when they get to the car or want her, "Freak nasty," when no one else is around.


     Stop letting strangers and their opinion of you put your need for sensual and sexual attention on trial because they think it makes you look trashy or cheap. Who gives a fuck what they think? Stop allowing your friends to tell you your man doesn't respect you because he's always on you trying to feel you up. Don't let people put stupid shit in your head, trying to convince you all he wants is sex all the time. So fucking what if he does? If you like it too, what's the big fucking deal? You're a grown woman, you pay your bills, have your own life, and answer for your own actions. If someone can't accept you for who you are as an individual, are they REALLY your friend, or are they just looking for another lemming to follow their expectations? Especially if your friends are single, always in short-term or miserable fucking relationships. Why would their opinion matter that much?


     Stop letting your man deny you what you need to satisfy your craving for physical/sexual expression or affirmation. Stop allowing men to ration out what they want to give you or want you to have. Trust me when I tell you men WANT a woman's ass grinding on his dick, look at how most men dance with women; that should be your first fucking indicator if you can't even rub your man's dick through his front pocket in public but wants your inner fantasy freak when no one else is around. It's not that he's worried about making you look bad; he just doesn't want people to see how involved he is with you; he wants to maintain his "Dating but single and available" status. When he goes back to the same place that following weekend, he can play you down as a first date or someone he's just, "Hanging out with."


     Go ahead, try it. If you've never been in a relationship where your man just wanted to be all over you when you're out together, not just at home, go for it, you may not have been exposed to it in the past or been raised to think it brings an unfavorable impression to others. Still, you may actually like it, even develop a hunger for it. You may love it; you may hate it, but make it about you, not what someone else thinks. If you know it's what you need and your partner can't or won't give it to you, then you have a decision to make. Don't deny yourself what you want and need and don't do the same to your partner. Be open to communicate freely and to at least try with an open mind; you may be surprised.


     No woman in a relationship hopes to meet a man who doesn't want to make love, have sex, or fuck her like an animal. If there are women out there like that, she's with the wrong man. A woman WANTS to be taken, bent over, and fucked like a caveman, maybe just not by the man she's with, but she does want it. Maybe her man isn't putting out the right vibe for her to desire that from him, but she does desire it. Remember when you were younger, and whenever you did something wrong, all your parents had to do was give that fucked up look, and you knew you'd better stop, be quiet, or you knew you were getting your ass beat when you got home? A woman wants that with her man; when you're out having dinner, at the movies, dancing, whatever. She'll cream herself silly when she looks over at her man, and he gives her same fucked look; that look that tells her when they get home, she' going to be walking a little crooked that next morning or he wants to take in the restroom right then and there and bend her ass over the sink. If you're the type of man who can't look at his lady that way every now and then, the two of you need to sit down and communicate your needs and desires for one another. If they don't mesh, like anything else, your choices are to deal or re-evaluate your decision to stay together.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PAYBACK

APRIL 20, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     When a relationship or friendship has run its course and, the end has come and gone, most people take the high road and walk away without regret and a better understanding of themselves, along with a learned lesson or two. Others just can't let that happen. They can't just walk away and move forward; they feel as if karma's too busy to lend a hand or taking her own sweet time to rain down retribution and, they'll want to lend a hand of their own for revenge. After a breakup, we all like to think we'd be able to lick our wounds and just get past whatever happened, but some people just aren't built that way, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity. You'll feel an onslaught of emotions; anger, humiliation, depression, pain, betrayal, and sometimes revenge. 

 

     As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold; the truth is, revenge is a dish best served never. We want the offender to pay for screwing us over, thinking we're getting them back, but the truth very rarely does it affect the object of vengeance on the intended level. Sometimes it does works, and when it does, the damage is ridiculous. The question is: Why go through the hassle, the planning, and the obsession of wanting to get revenge in the first place? For closure? Learning experiences. Or just plain old-fashioned payback? 

 

     When somebody has done us dirty, it's natural to want them to know how much their actions fucked us up. We'll want them to feel exactly the way they made us feel, hopefully learning a lesson and keep them from doing it to someone else. Even if that were true, it's not like you're going to give them another chance, or vice-versa, so you'll never really see or find out if your plan of revenge worked. The revenge-seeker isn't interested in protecting anyone else. Hoping they've learned a lesson means even less. They'll never see or reap the benefits of the change in the person. Another sad truth is even though the revenge seeker may claim or even believe their goal of revenge is to protect others from suffering the same fate, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but the seeker. Any other reason they come up with is straight bullshit. 

 

     There are many reasons people seek revenge on those who have done them wrong or feel the need to be taught a "lesson." Plain and simple immaturity. They don't know how to handle rejection or being hurt; they don't experience bad luck or being fucked over often and don't know how to deal with it. On the other hand, it may have happened so much in their lives, they've reached their limit, and it's time for some payback. 

 

     Revenge is for people who can't move on. Vengeance is their closure; they need it to put their pain to bed and begin anew. Once revenge has been served, even if there's any level of gratification, it'll only be temporary, and it won't live up to the expectation of the fantasy. It won't make you feel better; again, if it does, the feeling of retribution will only last a short time and will never live up to what your expectations. You'll look like an ass, especially if the other person has moved on, and you can't or haven't. They'll either make fun of you or refuse to engage your silly ass, and that will anger you and fuel your desire for more revenge. You care more than they do; the offended has allowed their goal of revenge to consume their attention, keeping them from possibly meeting someone else. They'll be un-dateable until they come to their senses and move on. 

 

     In relation to infidelity, a woman may want to "Warn" another woman about the guy she's currently seeing or just talking to. A man may make up or embellish a story about his experience with a woman in order to make her into something she's not. In the workplace, a person may seek revenge against someone who bested them out of a promotion or advancement and wants to set them up for failure in front of others. 

 

     How would a person go about seeking revenge? Truthfully, it depends on the imagination of the seeker, as well as the severity of the offense. Of course, you are being lied to or cheated on being the worst. Stealing could be another one, causing someone humiliation, embarrassment, or inferiority could be others. People will spread rumors and gossip. Everything you may have told the offended person will now most likely be a matter of public record. Any of your friends, you've expressed a dislike for or talked shit about behind their backs. They now know exactly what you've said about them. They'll talk shit about you to your friends and theirs. 

 

     The revenge-seeker will approach the new partner of their ex and attempt to "Warn" them about how bad their relationship was. They'll enlist the help of their friends also to sabotage any attempts to move forward to someone new. They may lie about still being together, the cause of the breakup, or still having sex. The seeker will make sure to run into you while you're out, so they're seen will someone new to initiate jealousy. They'll take their new partner to the business or restaurant the ex-works. 

 

     They want you to see them getting attention. They'll hit the gym, thinning out and dressing sexier, in an attempt to get a reaction. Women will take to social media, posting pictures of herself out on the town, having the time of her life. Men will immediately change their relationship status and make suggestive comments about his newly single status. They'll brag about how wonderful their new partner is and how they wasted their time with anyone else. 

 

     In extreme cases, some will use their children as tools of revenge; they deny visitation or restrict availability out of spite. If divorced, they'll keep their married name, knowing it bothers the ex-husband. Staying close to and maintaining a relationship with the family or children of an ex is another way to stay in someone's life and siphon revenge slowly and continuously. They refuse to return your shit. The seeker will intentionally date someone of a different race, knowing the ex may be prejudice or racist. 

 

     Giving the impression they may be more sexually active than before may bring out a reaction from the offender. In case of crossing paths with the ex, the offender will make out with random people. They walk by more than necessary, hoping to catch their attention or allow them to overhear others' comments on how hot they look. They'll show a level of physical attention and sexuality with someone new, throwing it your face. They'll hit on your friends and even try to fuck one or more of them. They'll make you think you're getting back together; they'll come back and try to have sex. Once the other person believes there may be a reconciliation, the seeker will flip it and use it to twist the offender's head around and fuck their head up. 

 

     The seeker may mess with your credit or finances. They call or text and pretend it was an accident. If they see you with someone new, they'll blow your phone up, trying to find out who the person you were with was. They'll drive by your place to check for an unknown car parked out front. They won't return your pet.

 

     People feel as if the offender deserves it; they've gotten away with it for so long, revenge is about due. The drawback? In hurting the person that hurt you, there's a more than probable, almost definite chance you'll involve and hurt someone innocent who has absolutely nothing to do with whatever happened between you and the offender.

 

     Insecurity will drive the need for revenge, fear of being alone while the other person moves on. People will seek revenge for fear of failure. The offender may have destroyed the fantasy of romance or relationship for the offended. Some people rely on others for identity, but once that's taken away, due to a breakup or end of a friendship, the requirement for revenge will consume the offended. They may have abandonment issues stemming from their past. Revenge keeps the offender in the life of the offended. Revenge keeps you angry. Letting go or choosing to walk away without revenge doesn't make you weak or gullible. 

 

     When it comes to revenge, one of the important things the seeker doesn't give any thought to is the collateral damage their revenge will cause. Someone innocent will almost always get caught up in the bullshit between the seeker and the offender. Lying about them cheating or trying to get back together will cause doubt in the new partner. Their self-confidence may already be fragile, and your need for revenge has fucked them up even worse. Your obsession with revenge will cause your friends to question who you are and won't be as comfortable telling you things about themselves in fear that you'll use the information against them if the friendship ever went sideways. They may believe you'll make a play for their significant other if you feel they did you wrong. Revenge is nothing more than a way to hold on to the past. Face the pain of what happened and avoid the stages of the end and starting over.

 

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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

MAIN SUBJECT

APRIL 12, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Our friendships are the foundation of our social circle. The company we kept shape us as children, teenagers, have such an impact on how we interact with people as young adults and well into maturity; whether positive or negative. Our friends influence how we interact with our co-workers and even strangers.


     Sometimes trying to hold on to old friendships is the absolute LAST thing you should do, depending on the situation. There can be consequences for trying to keep a friendship back in the day. That best friend you played varsity ball with through high school and even went to college together may have chosen a path of selling drugs, running with a gang, or some other type of criminal activity. While you're walking the straight and narrow, doing what you need to do to support yourself and your family, hanging out with that old friend got you caught in a crossfire between a rival gang or drug dealer.


     Sarah and Becky have been inseparable best friends since Jr. High. Going on to the same high school and even to college together, becoming sorority sisters. Ten years later, Becky's climbing the management ladder at her company; unfortunately, Sarah's life choices landed her into a chasm of alcoholism or drug use. Trying to be a good friend, she allows Sarah to move in with to get clean. Imagine the surprise on Becky's face when she comes home from work to find out Sarah robbed her for drug money, or her drug addict friends are smoking pot or shooting heroin in her house that's about to get raided because she's allowed her pimp to run prostitutes through her place.


     There's a point where friendships have run its course and it's time to move on. Sometimes these friends aren't as bad as being drug dealers or users; they could just be in the same place mentally as when you met so many years ago. If they're still the same people you knew from back in the day, it may be time to sit down and figure out why this particular friend hasn't evolved into adulthood or a more mature lifestyle. They're still the player they were in college or the party girl from the sorority house, and you're so far past that, just being around them makes you feel like than who you are.


     Another thing to consider; unfortunately, who you choose to associate with publicly does have an impact on how you're viewed in the eyes of other people. For example, you could be a good, decent, hard-working guy. The fact that you're hanging out with a guy who is known for being players or generally disrespectful to women or just out for sex, trust me, that's how you'll be viewed as well just by association. Just like a woman or a group of women. If one or more of your female friends are known to be easy or quick to fuck after a few drinks, chances are, men will think the same about you until you set them straight. Be ready for them to be shitty though; your friends are slutty, so you should be too.


     Trying to keep friends past the expiration date can also be a bad idea in terms of your professional career. Tom's as hard-working as they come; he's the go-to guy in the office. Mike, on the other hand, chooses to wait until the last minute to finish his projects or reports and often hands them in incomplete or riddled with mistakes. Sooner or later, Mike's going to drag Tom's reputation down; it'll never happen in reverse. It's easier to drag someone down than to build someone else up.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FAILOUT SHELTER

APRIL 5, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     You tried. You gave it your best shot, but you just couldn't quite make it work. Hey, at least you tried; that's more than what some people can say, even on their very best day. There's no shame in failure, as long as you can look in the mirror and be confident you gave it to you very best. Nobody's perfect, and failure is a part of life, just like success. Without failure, they joy of success wouldn't be nearly as sweet. Understandably, no one wants to admit failure, whether it be building and flying a kite to starting a business. We all want to walk into every project, knowing that kite's going to fly the way it's supposed to, or you've just stepped onto the first rung of the next multi-million-dollar business ladder.


     Now the truth. We're not fail-proof, not by a long shot. No one is exempt from or above failure. Those hard-core business tycoons with houses on every coast. The athletes who defy gravity and logic with their moves and bank accounts to the actors and entertainers who sellout crowds by the thousands didn’t just wake up one day being the best at what they do. They failed also. They tried different things and failed until they found what they were good at, and it brought them to where they are now. What makes you any different from them? What makes you unworthy of the same success others have been blessed with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; the only difference is they were willing to try. They owned up to and accepted their failures. They had the motivation and the drive to continue until they found their path to success.


     People are afraid to try because they fear what others may think of them. If they fall short, they'll question themselves in other areas of their lives, not even remotely related to what they were trying to do. If their business fails, they'll examine their ability to provide for their family, their competence at their job, or their marriage/relationship. They fear what others will think of them. Why the hell should you care about what someone who isn't even trying thinks of you? The truth is, you shouldn't, not at all. Again, at least you tried. And you learned something.


     People fear failure because they think others will lose interest in them. They think if they try and fail, they'll lose their significant other to someone they see as more successful or smarter—fear of being seen as less intelligent. Failure will definitely fuck with a person's confidence and self-esteem for sure. Fear of disappointing those you love/care about—ridicule and criticism from friends, co-workers, or even family or partner. No one wants to hear, "I told you so," especially when they're trying their hardest to succeed. Fear of failure will make a person physically ill; butterflies, cramps, headaches, etc. Admitting failure is embarrassing. Admitting failure is admitting shortcomings. Fear of failure is fear of being replaced both in relationship and career.


     In their love life, people fear rejection. No one wants to be seen approaching someone, just to be sent away, especially men. Women will prejudge and assume a she's not good enough for a man she views as out of her league, no matter what her friends say, or how great a catch she is, and any man would be lucky to meet/have her. A woman will gauge a man's interest, based on her looks, weight, etc. in regards to his. Men approach women and will use insults as a defense mechanism in response to rejection. Both men and women will discourage each other if they feel someone may be too far out of their friend's league. That thought alone prevents people from meeting someone they just might have a great relationship or friendship with.


     Failure exists because people lose their focus; they find themselves getting caught up binge-watching their favorite TV show. Taking on too much at one time and not setting shorter-term goals. Not setting priorities. Low motivation/weak motivators. Wanting to lose weight and get into shape may be enough to get you through the front door and sign up for that gym membership. But it'll take more to get up at 5 am every morning and give 100% every time—frustration and impatience, setting unrealistic goals and expectations. As we step back into the gym/weight room, we want the results we want when WE want them—negativity and giving up at the first sign of hardship or obstacles. Writers don't give up their book the first time they have a case of writer's block. Otherwise, a lot of books wouldn't have been written.


     Shitty planning. Having an idea but not acting on it is the same as not having an idea at all and being too lazy to act on it. Making excuses; not trying means not failing. People fail because they see their failure prematurely—lack of commitment.


     Fear of failure is only one side of the coin for obvious reasons; fear of success is the other. We are not able to live up to future expectations. Public speaking. Rejection. Making the wrong choice, second-guessing, will turn a simple obstacle into a brick wall and definitely hinder a person's progress to success. The opinion of others shouldn't matter, but we will allow ourselves to be sidetracked or led off our intended path, especially by those who are either jealous or unsupportive of what you're trying to accomplish. Fear of responsibility. Saying or doing the wrong thing. Fear of challenges. We are missing out on something and being replaced. Death. Fear of being exposed as a fake. Let's not forget; fear of commitment.


     Whatever your fear may be, understand failure is a part of life, a stepping-stone to success if everything comes without failure, the appreciation of making it won't be anywhere near as enjoyable. A huge part of success is looking back at everything and everyone who doubted you stood in your way or criticized you. Find your motivation, whether it be in love, career, independence, physical, or emotional progression. Write that book. Lose weight. Start that business. Leave that abusive or toxic relationship. Approach that man. Ask that lady out. Knock out that Do-it-yourself project. Face your fear and correct your mistakes. Accept your failure and re-adjust. Ask for help. Kickass at work and home. Be the avalanche that wipes out anything that makes you feel unworthy of success.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ROUND ROBIN

Mar 30, 2020

BY LISA JILLS

     They go by many names. Hoe. Whore. Slut. Tramp. Skank. Pick your poison. The workplace player does have a female counterpart; for the purpose of this article, we won't use any of the names mentioned above. We'll call her G.A or, "The Get-around girl."


     First of all, the margin for truth being considered, the GA wants a relationship, no matter what she says. She'll use her ass to land a man she wants. She may act like she's just out to fuck the men she works with, but understand that even if that were the case, a woman has to actually be attracted to something about a man, even if she's just interested in him sexually. She has to see him as a potential partner before she fucks him. Men decide they want a relationship AFTER having sex; Women decide a man's potential BEFORE she gives it up. Men can get hard and fuck anything that looks at him sideways, even she looks like a scorpion and built like a rhino.


     It does happen, but most women don't fuck to get ahead in their careers. To jump-start it, maybe, but not to progress or advance; not usually. The G.A has more than 1 child by multiple men. Her first targets are the men with the most potential; seeing as most of them won't give her the time of day, due to her reputation, she'll pick the best option she can. The G.A will brag about what men do for her. (Give her money, pay her bills, take care of her needs, etc.) The G.A will brag about how good her men give her the dick. Whether other women want to hear about it or not, she'll share details about what goes on in their bed. She doesn't care what other women think; they're just jealous they can't do what she's doing, or they're not strong enough of a woman to be who they want to be.


     Let her tell it, no man can put the dick on her. A G.A wants a man she can control, even though she won't respect him if he lets her. She'll act like she's in charge, but she really wants a strong, Alpha man to calm her ass down when she gets out of pocket. She'll act like she's the shit to beat all, but she has shitty self-esteem, and she believes she has to have sex to get men to like her. Some women won't know they're being played, not because they're naive' but because they think they're too smart, and also strong a woman to get played. The G.A won't go after a work pimp; she knows he's out of her league, and he wants no part of her reputation. She drinks almost every weekend. Just to get drunk and/or smokes pot.


     The G.A will brag about her weekend when no one even asked or cares. Where women will warn other women about a player, a woman won't warn a man about a woman being a G.A. Get more than one G.A in close proximity in the office, and they'll shit-talk each other for a guy they both want. Their advances will be clear as fucking day, and they have no issues with how they look to others. She won't care if he has a lady; she'll want to break them up then leave him when she's done with him. (After, she's gotten all she can get from him). She'll have limited social ability. Other women will see her as ghetto as hell, but she doesn't care; in her mind, everyone at her job's jealous of her because she has all these men after her. She wants to be the Beta of the pack, and only other G.A's will want to be around her. Other women want nothing to do with her because they don't want to viewed as being like her in the eyes of her co-workers.


     The Get Around Girl is the pinnacle of street smarts. It's NEVER her fault when she gets kicked to the curb by the working player; She'll tell everyone SHE dumped HIM when she realizes she's been played herself. (He had a little dick, gay, racist, couldn't fuck, he's scared of a strong, woman, he wasn't shit anyway.) She'll talk shit about any man that doesn't want her, and she'll brag about all the men she's playing. She doesn't want to know about or hear about anyone who has an actual good relationship; she'll try to convince them they're being played, and they need to be more like her. She's miserable and wants as many people to join her mob of misery as she can find.


     The G.A doesn't work out; she doesn't have to. As long as men are willing to fuck her just the way she is, she thinks she's the shit, and she'll wear shit she has absolutely NO BUSINESS wearing. Work out on the town or to the grocery store. Her shit is way too tight and revealing, and while most men are looking at her, asking, "What the fuck?" Many men are looking at her and thinking, "I'd fuck her," Just because her ass is up in the air or her tits are halfway out. The definition of a whore is someone who receives money or any type of compensation in exchange for sex. If you're fucking guys at your job and they're paying your bills, giving you money, or other providing some form of compensation because you're fucking him, I'm not calling you a whore, but if it walks, talks, and looks like a duck, then it's a duck—a duck who's getting paid to fuck.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CONTROL PANEL

Mar 22, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     There's an unseen war going on between men and women for the controlling share in their relationship, whether they realize it or not. Men want to be the head of the household, and women want to avoid being the submissive partner. Men don't want to see an as soft or unable to manage their home and, women don't want the stigma of being weak or docile. Equality may be the goal, but realistically, that dream comes to be nothing more than just an idea in these modern times.


     For one, seeking, "Control" is wrong; that's your 1st mistake. The 2nd is being dismissive or defensive when your partner brings your unnecessary siege for control of a situation to your attention. With equality being the ultimate goal, there can and will be times where one person will and should step aside and allow the other to take a more dominant role in a situation. They may have knowledge, training, or experience that applies to what's going on and are more physically or mentally equipped to make a more informed decision or take better action or precautions. There will be times where communication before reacting is available and times, where that process will have to wait until the situation or crisis is over.


     For example, if your wife is a CPA and part of her job is doing corporate taxes for large companies, why wouldn't you step aside and allow her to do the family taxes? That makes you smart, not weak. If your husband's a mechanic, why wouldn't you step aside and allow him to decide which used cars are going to be better suited for the family in terms of parts, maintenance, dependability, etc.? That makes YOU smart, not docile or meek. In an emergency, if someone breaks into your home and your wife's a police officer, she doesn't have time to explain her instructions to you. Just fucking follow them, same as if your husband was a firefighter, and you wake up in the middle of the night to smoke and flames coming from the room next door.


     Sometimes the battle for control won't have anything to do with a mutual situation; it'll come in the form of, "You did it, so I should be able to do it also" One person spent $200 on a pair of name brand sneakers or a purse they may have wanted for a while. The other person will see this as a bid for power, and they'll try to equalize the scales by going out and spending the same amount, or just a little bit more on something they may not even have thought about purchasing, only to, "Be fair." That shit is childish, especially if you knew those shoes or that purse was something they've been wanting or saving for.


     The fight to be right is a fierce one; people fight for control by trying to prove the other person wrong. If successful, they're convinced you're the one with the issue, and they need to take over and save the day. That way, they can continue their quest for control and make it seem as if they have what's best for the relationship at heart.


     During a discussion, one person's so focused on what they want to say. Next, they're not even listening to what you're saying. Men have been taught and raised to ignore or dismiss their dependency. Or a need for emotional support and to be the source of comfort in a relationship. They're the rock, the foundation of the relationship, and stepping aside or admitting they don't know something or their partner may be better equipped to handle a "Manly" situation will screw his head on backward, and he wants no part of that. A woman will ask logical/rhetorical questions or make statements in an attempt to make such a convincing argument that has no actual flaw; she'll hope he sees the logic in her theory and backs down.


     Interrogation. In the quest for power, one person will make accusations or demand answers, putting to another person in a position to have to account for, explain, or defend themselves. "Why are you late?" "Why didn't you call?" "Who were you with?" Think of it as a court of law, and the witness is being questioned by the prosecutor.


     They are avoiding criticism. Unnecessary criticizing and complaining about some bullshit is another way people try to take control of their relationship. Your partner doesn't want to hear your mouth over something stupid, so they'll keep theirs shut and allow you just to talk and talk and talk. A woman may see an interracial couple and will criticize that relationship out loud to her partner. He doesn't want to hear it, but won't say anything to her about it or ask her to keep her voice down, because she'll start in on him. A man may have an issue with a homosexual couple, but she won't ask him to stop talking about it, because he'll turn it around to her and expect her to agree with him. When she expresses any opinion other than his, he'll take it as her being argumentative or dismissive.


     Body Language. Laughing at your partner when they're trying to talk about something serious. Eye-rolling, crossed arms, the silent treatment.


     The denial of affection, intimacy, or sex. 


     Conditional situations. Someone trying to control their relationship will require, "Proof" of their partner's love or commitment. They'll ask for changes in the partner. To take on more of his/her interests or hobbies instead of pursuing or continuing their own, and wanting a 24/7 cheerleader without returning the sentiment.


     Power. Physical or verbal abuse. Threats of violence or the end of the relationship.


     The battle for control and power can and will get nasty, even if you believe you're doing it for the right reason. Trust me, while you're fighting for control, you're driving a wedge between you both, and the result won't be pretty if you feel as if you need to be in control. You're either so self-centered that you can't admit you're wrong, so independent you don't need anyone, or you're so scared you're going to be taken advantage of. Your self-preservation won't allow you to be successful in any relationship. Either way, you have no business trying to be with anyone. Learn to control your shit; that way, you won't have to control someone else.


     While you may be more qualified to take the dominant role in a particular situation, that doesn't translate to ignoring your partner's thoughts or input. Communication is vital; reassure them their voice and opinions are essential. Let them know they'll be consulted before any final decisions will be made. You don't know everything; you're going to be wrong sometime. A relationship is a partnership; someone's watching your back, and you're watching theirs. You can't watch your own. Go ahead, try it; it's called running your dumb ass around in circles.  


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

WANTED

Mar 08, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     They have children from a previous relationship. They want nothing more than to have children with you; however, they want absolutely NOTHING to do with YOUR children from any of your past relationships. Does this sound as fucked up to you as it does to me? Of course, it does, because it's a fucked up thing to think, but it's true. There are people out there who have their children but want to meet someone who doesn't have children, or at least children they have to, "Deal" with. If those kids are older and out of the house, or at least old enough to have their own lives and not need much parental attention, it might not matter as much. Smaller children are a different story, though.


     As ridiculous and hypocritical as it sounds, this situation is all too common in today's society. With entitlement becoming more and more apparent among the younger generations, stupid shit like this is just going to increase, and we're so fucking dumb and scared to be alone. We'll put up with or bend to the wishes of the dominant personality of the relationship, just to have someone in our lives. Any man or woman who's willing to walk away from their children to be in a relationship deserves EVERY drop of the shit-soaked rainstorm that's going to fall on their heads during the rest of their lives!


     For different reasons, men and women don't want the headache of taking on someone else's children. Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama they think another woman will bring to her present relationship. Of course, that'll be what most women will say, and it may be accurate, but only about 50% of the time. The other half is far simpler unrealistic selfishness. Some just don't deal with complications or jealousy of another person who'll always be in the picture because they share children. They don't like the idea that you have something related to or obligates a portion of time to someone else. They know your ex will be contacting you in the event of an emergency with the children, and you'll fly out the door to the hospital, school, or wherever. They know you'll be communicating about the children, even spending time around each other on certain holidays, such as birthdays and such. That's too much for them to want to deal with. They don't want you to have ties to anyone else, even though they share the same ties to another person with their kids.


     Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama another woman might bring to her relationship. Calling and arguing with her or her ex. The ex is talking shit about her to the kids. They are telling them they don't have to respect her or listen to her. The bad behavior or them being spoiled. The money her man has to take from their family to give to someone else. The children he shares with someone else may be of a race or ethnicity they're not very fond of.


     If a man wants to see and take care of his children the way he's supposed to, another man won't normally stand in his way, as long as he's respectful to everyone involved. That means he calls before he comes over to get the kids, instead of just showing up whenever he wants. That means respecting their home and not calling to talk shit that new man or coming over just to argue. That new man may have something to say if the ex is flakey and inconsistent when it comes to following through with his promises, which will fuck up those kid's heads. A good, decent man won't allow that to happen for too long; he won't want to deny those children access to their father, but he'll be damned if that other man continuously disappoints those kids.


     Believe it or not, when it comes to men, he doesn't have much of an issue with the kids; men will avoid a woman with children because she allowed another man to "Claim" her by getting her pregnant in the first place. There's something about going in unprotected, and being allowed to release himself inside of her. That will set his alarm off and not want to be with her. Even though neither of them is virgins, the fact that she was so connected to another man that she let him fo that is enough to make him see her in a different light, as if she's used or damaged goods. Men will get bent out of shape if they see an attractive but pregnant woman. As stupid as this sounds, you wouldn't believe how many men feel that way, whether they'll admit it or not. A woman will avoid a man who's about to be a father, even if he isn't with the mother anymore.


     They don't want your children because they don't want to have to deal with being around someone else, even if the other parent is 100% drama free. That would be even worse; they'll rack their brain, trying to figure out the REAL reason their partner and the ex broke up since they get along so well as strictly parents. They don't want you to have children because they don't want your kids around their kids or the kids you share. They're outcasts who have no place in your present family; they're a distraction, an inconvenience. Some people will ask and expect another person to give up their attachment to their children by someone else to be in a relationship with them, and some people will comply with this request. They're so desperate to have someone in their lives they'll jump and purge anything necessary to secure a relationship for themselves. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

QUESTION MARK

Mar 01, 2020

BY LISA JILLS

     Women are more guilty of asking other women inappropriate questions when it comes to their friends and their relationships, especially new ones. To women, they have an understood and unspoken right to compliment her friend's partner and her relationship more than once and in detail. Men can only give ONE general compliment to another man about his lady; he can't go into detail or give multiple compliments about her before that other man starts to take it as disrespect and interest in his lady. Of course, that won't stop him from making comments and compliments to other men, though.


     Women will use their friendship as a cloak of trust and good-natured conversation, a shield of protection against her friend, taking her comments the wrong way. It'll rarely occur to the other person exactly how fucked up it is for her to say anything out of pocket about her friend's man. She's trying to get way too personal about the information that's realistically none of her fucking business. They'll act like they're joking, looking out for you, or making conversation, trying to find out, "Normal" things about him. She'll act like she's trying to make sure you chose the right guy, but based on what SHE thinks is good for you, your interest has very little to do with the questions she's asking.


     What you don't realize is that your friend could be gathering information about your man to gauge her interest, compatibility, and attraction to him. She could be plotting to go behind your back and use everything you told her against you and appear to be a better choice for him, based on all the information YOU gave her! By answering her questions, you're telling her absolutely everything she needs to know in order to decide whether or not she wants to make a move on him. They'll count on your friendship to distract you from what they're doing. They know you're excited about your new romance, they'll hope you'll not only turn a blind eye to how fucked up and shitty her questions are but to answer them in detail and with enthusiasm.


     Men know better; they may be clueless about a lot of other shit, but not this. They understand without a doubt there's a definitive line in knowing what they can and can't say to another man about his lady, no matter how close they are or how long they've been friends. Men know men. Any detailed compliment about the figure of his friend's lady won't be appreciated. Asking a man over and over again if he's still with his woman, or calling her, "Beautiful" "Sexy" or, "Fine" won't be received well at all. Any inquiries about any portion of their sex life or her sexual ability will almost always cause a rift or even get his ass kicked. Women don't follow those same guidelines; they feel their bonds are stronger, giving them far more rope to tie your hands while they walk right past you and snake your guy.


     Even if stealing your man away isn't her plan, there's still the topic of pointless, rude, and inappropriate questions and comments women will make and ask of their friends when it comes to their relationships that men won't. They know it's none of their business. They know that another guy has very little issue telling him it's none of his fucking business or asking why the fuck does he needs to know that, especially anything personal about his lady. Again, women feel they have a stronger, more solidified bond to where they can do that shit; men have no issues ending a friendship over the woman he truly loves, whereas women will honor the friendship more and allow them behind-the-scenes access into their personal shit.


     Your friends will ask if you had sex on your first date; and every date until you say, "Yes." They'll how it was, how freaky you got, and if he has a big dick. If it's your first interracial relationship, they'll ask if the rumors about black men having bigger dick are true. If you haven't, they'll ask what or how long you're going to wait until you have sex. They'll try to show concern for you by asking if you're sure just sex isn't what he wanted in the first place.


     She'll ask about his job; if he's military, she'll ask his rank, if he's an officer or enlisted and how long he's been in. With those three pieces of information, she can find out exactly how much he makes. She'll ask how much he makes. She'll ask what he drives if he pays for your dates and where he takes you. She wants to know how much he spends on you. She'll ask where he lives, where he hangs out, where he works out, even where he shops. She basically wants to know where she can possibly run into him without you being around. That's DEFINITELY a red flag.


     They want to see multiple pictures of him (Without you, of course), and if he doesn't mind that you don't work out as much as he does. Personality and qualities; sometimes they'll insult him and ask you what you like best about him, or they'll insult you by asking what he likes best about you. "What did you do to land him?" That's such a fucking insult to you, it's ridiculous; basically, they're saying something about you is fucked up, so how did you get him to look past it and date you anyway? They'll ask about his flaws if you talk about how much you like him too much. They'll ask if he has kids, or how your kids feel about you dating, or even dating HIM specifically. What the two of you did over the weekend or the holiday is none of their business; they're asking what was so important, they had to give up THEIR time with you so you could be with HIM.


     Especially in the beginning stages of a new relationship, we're excited to share as much as we can with our friends. We're happy as hell to start the adventure all over again, hoping this time will be the last time, and we get caught up in the whirlwind of bragging about how great they are. Be careful; not everyone will share your joy and enthusiasm. Jealousy, loneliness, anger, and frustration over their own miserable relationships or lack of one will breed just as much negativity and positivity. Be careful with what you share. You'll end up fucking yourself over or losing your good man because you violated his trust or sent a better candidate right to his front door.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

JUST DON'T

Feb 23, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     We are who we are; people can accept us the way we are, or they can go fuck themselves. The truth is, no one can tell anyone how they should feel, but there's more truth that comes along with the, "Like me or not" mentality; the other side of the coin. What one person may see as their right, that also goes for the other millions, or billions of people in the world as well. Think of it as a room full of people who all believe they have a right to be heard; they have the right to be first; they have the right for first rights. Where things take a turn for the worst is when that feeling of entitlement is met with unexpected resistance. No one wants to be challenged or rejected. We're all different creatures, just trying to get along in this world, but there are those who have simple quirks and behaviors that make it a little harder to do just that. Whether justified or not, we're on this earth together; that being said;


     Don't get pissy if you want someone you think is hot, and they don't want you. Don't run back like a little powdered bitch and tell her girlfriends she turned you down. Whether you realize it or not, you're a grown-ass man who just went and tattled on a woman because she didn't want you. Hell, can you blame her, you fucking tattle tale; what are you, 3 years old? Don't cut me off while driving or do something else fucked up, then wave at me and smile? I'd rather think you were just an asshole who didn't give a fuck about anyone but yourself rather than you think I was dumb enough to think you turned in front of me by fucking mistake. Don't act like you don't hear your kid crying in the movie theater or acting like an asshole in the restaurant. Why the fuck would you bring a baby or small child to a horror movie? Why would you bring a kid to a movie they don't understand or have an interest in and expect them to sit for 2 hours. Take them outside, get a sitter, or keep your inconsiderate ass at home or quit having fucking kids!


     Don't be a dick when someone tells you they don't want to be on social media and not to take their picture. Not everyone wants to be in your fucking panoramic video. If you want to take pictures and videos of you and your friends, that's cool, but be fucking courteous to everyone else, especially with that bright ass fucking camera light. Don't be a dick and park in the red zone in front of a business, you're just a dick if you do. Especially if there's a spot 20 feet away, you fat, lazy fuck. Don't wonder why you and your fat fucking family look the way they do, based on the bullshit you have in your shopping cart. Don't label a player or a whore, based on their friends. Don't get mad when someone offers you a breath mint; there's a fucking reason for that. If you park like shit, don't get mad when your shit gets dented or scratched; learn to fucking park your shit. Some people don't like being touched, so don't get pissed if someone asks you not to touch them. If you're bouncing around to your own beat, don't get mad if your partner walks off the dance floor.


     Don't get mad if you get punched in the kidney for trying to tickle someone, especially AFTER they've told you they didn't like it and don't get pissed if you get throat punched for trying to jump out and scare someone. You don't know someone's history; where they've been, or gone through, so don't mad if you walk up behind someone, touch them, and they fuck you up. that's YOUR fault! Of all the empty space in the gym, and you want to work out DIRECTLY behind me, don't get mad when I bend over and rip a huge fucking fart. There's no reason for you to be THAT close to me. If I'm at the ATM and you're too close, I will ask you to back the fuck up. Don't get mad when I step in front of you at the checkout line because you're on your phone with Amy, talking about that cute guy you met last night. If you're sitting on the piece of gym equipment I need to continue my workout, I will ask you to get up!


     It's MY parking spot until I pull out; don't fucking honk at me to hurry up because you want my space. I WILL turn my shit off, lock my doors, and find a reason to walk right the fuck back into wherever I just came from. I will call you out for not washing your hands before leaving the restroom or not covering your mouth when you fucking cough. Don't talk to me in the locker room when you're naked and don't talk across me to someone on the other side of when you're naked. Don't get mad when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. If you don't want the truth, don't ask me. Don't be mad because you have a little dick, and nobody wants to fuck you. Don't get mad if someone says you're better off learning to be a master of eating pussy instead. Don't get mad when you can't/don't make your lady cum/orgasm every time.


     Your man doesn't want to hear you bitch about how you hate seeing interracial couples, that woman at work who wants to, "Destroy" you, or how much you dislike your body or your weight; don't get pissed off when he finally tells you to shut the fuck up with all that negative shit. Not everyone wants to hear what you did over the weekend, EVERY weekend, so don't get pissed when someone at your job tells you so. Don't get mad when/if someone at the club steps on or scuffs your WHITE sneakers; your shoes are fucking WHITE, what the fuck do you expect in a club? Don't get mad when someone jumps in front of you to order from the same fast-food menu that been posted for the last 20-plus years, and you're staring at it like it's brand fucking new, trying to decide what you want. If you're a man, and you get caught cheating, just expect your ex to tell at least 3 people you have a weak dick and can't fuck. If you're a woman and YOU cheat, don't be surprised if your ex tries to fuck one of your friends out of spite.


     More truth? It's going to happen, whether you like it or not; everyone's not going to agree with you or the way you see or do things. Not everyone's going to go along with your ideas or follow you blindly into the unknown. You're going to annoy the fuck out of people, and people are going to do the same to you. There are people out there who will call you out on your bullshit as well. How you deal with this is another one of your rights. You can choose to be an adult, or you can choose to turn bitch and cry like a baby. You can choose to agree or disagree with someone. You can choose to just let it go or get pissy.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

BLAME GAME

Feb 16, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     You know you fucked up; they know you fucked up. In the event that you fucked up and for some reason they take you back, just admit you fucked up. Everyone else knows you fucked up, so why go back into the same rut, denying you fucked up after you've already suffered for it? The only person you're fooling is yourself, thinking anyone's going to believe you didn't fuck up. You've already paid the price for fucking up; you got dumped, they moved on for a while; dated, had at least one other relationship, maybe even had sex with someone else. You've put the time, effort, and patience into reconciliation and redemption. You've busted your ass showing you can be trusted and, you've earned yourself another chance to prove yourself, so why go right back to claiming innocence? The only thing you're really doing is sabotaging yourself, making it seem like you haven't changed a bit; in doing so, you're sending the message you're still the lying, manipulative assbag who got caught doing dirty shit and the coward who couldn't be adult enough to admit it, even when confronted with the truth.


     Admitting you fucked up shows you just may have learned your lesson and changed your ways for the better. You're showing the possibility that you grew the fuck up and realized the bullshit you were trying to pull back in the day was straight garbage, and it made you look like such a fucking loser. It was only a matter of time before your shit caught up with you. Denial after the fact makes you appear as if haven't changed and, you're still on the path of the same shit you were on when you were fucking up.


     Having any discussion about whatever happened in the past is a bad idea, whether the memory is good or bad. Good memories will remind them of how much they put into the relationship, and they got fucked over. In your mind, you're thinking that telling them of the good times you had together may help your case, but the belief things will ever go back to the way they were is a delusion. Leave the past in the past and focus on the future; the second chance you have now. Again, talking about it is just going to remind them of how you fucked up and possibly change their mind about your second chance.


     Denial of your actions is just a dumb fucking thing to do, especially when you're staring down the business end of a double-barreled shotgun loaded with evidence against you. That you are hardened in concrete or purely circumstantial, there's no reason to dispute the text messages, voicemails, social media info, or the side piece. It makes you look even worse when you walk back into the relationship, immediately trying to explain yourself or claiming your innocence after you've fought your way out of the hole you dug for yourself. Bringing it up re-opens the wound, making the healing process the second time around much more painful and time-consuming.


     Bringing old shit up is no different than you trying to find out what they did during the time you weren't together. That's none of your business. What they did, If they went out with anyone else, slept with anyone else. What will you do if they did? What will you say if you found out they went wild and fucked 3-4 people during the six months you weren't together? You fucked 10-12 different people for the whole year. The two of you WERE together! Don't ask why they decided to give you another chance; that doesn't matter either. Someone gives you 5,000 dollars Scott-free, are you going to ask why they're doing it, or are you just going to take the money? Sometimes not knowing is best.


     You fucked up, cop to it. Better yet, don't even bring that shit up if they don't. If it's not essential to them, it shouldn't be relevant to you; your explanation and apology are for you, not them. They don't care why you did it; they're over it, and you should be too. Your focus should be on showing you're not the lying, cheating piece of shit they walked away from.   


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DIRT CHEAP

Feb 09, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Being able to talk dirty and not sound like a fucking weirdo, player, or deviant is something a lot of people are unable to do. Trying to turn your partner on vocally is not so different than trying to do the same physically. Planning, confidence, and primal instinct are still key factors when trying to create an image where the goal is to sexually excite your partner verbally. It's far more in-depth than just throwing out words like Dick, Pussy, and Fuck; you'll have to do a hell of a lot more and better than that. You'll sound like an insane circus freak, instead of turning on your partner or getting them in the mood.


     First off, have a goal; what's the endgame? Sex? Playful flirting? Knowing she's at work with her legs crossed, trying to keep her soaking wet panties from running down her legs into her shoes? Knowing he's in his office, hard as a rock? The anticipation of biting down on his briefcase handle, taking the dick from behind? Are you hoping he'll pick you up, set you on the kitchen counter and shove his face between your legs? What's the final result? The point of this entire venture?


     Second, planning. Are you going for what's typical for you and your partner, or are you aiming to step it up a notch and create a scenario you may have seen in porn or something you've wanted to try? Are you trying to test the waters to see how they'll react to the idea of role-playing, or experimenting with different places, situations, or positions? Or are you going straight for the fences? You want the joy and thrill of the fantasy; the things you'd NEVER actually try, but they sound good? The thought, the idea, the detailed account of a threesome while having sex with your partner drives you both fucking nuts, even though you know it'll never happen. A sex club or outside voyeur experience? The thought of someone walking by and catching you getting it on outside the car in a dark parking lot? The swinger lifestyle? Whatever the topic, just talking about it gets you in the mood.


     Execution is third. Some of that shit you're talking you're going to have to deliver on and follow through with. Otherwise, the dirty talk will probably and most likely lose. Its appeal fizzles out after a while and becomes stale as hell. It'll become just talk.


     On the other hand, don't dwell on the dirty talk for every encounter. You'll make it seem like the only way you can get off is if you're talking about being with your partner and someone else, or if you're constantly talking about fucking in front of strangers or partner-swapping. It's not an every time thing; otherwise, you're going to eventually fuck up your partners' head about whether or not it's just talking for you, or if you want to do the things you've both agreed were off-limits. They'll start to think you're bored with your sex life. Listen to each other; respond to one another. Don't be ashamed to tell your man you want to sit on his dick like a frog on a lily pad. Don't feel like you're less than a man to tell your women you want to eat her pussy until she goes blind. The point is sexual arousal. So, arouse each other!


     Don't think you're going to use anatomically correct or scientific terms when talking dirty. The penis isn't sexy. The vagina isn't either. Intercourse isn't going to get her wet, and labia isn't going to make him want to pick up your legs from behind and fuck you wheelbarrow style. If you're having issues, either stand in front of the mirror, write it down, or even send your dirty message via text. You can't sound timid or unsure of yourself when talking dirty, or else you're going to come off fetal as hell, and it's going to destroy the whole point. Don't sound like you're asking for permission; own that shit, or at least pretend that you do.


     You are turning your partner on verbally and satisfies an emotional need for you both. It let the other person know you still see them as a sexual being; that they're not just the father or mother of your children. It reassures the other you're more than just, "Roommates" who share the same bed. Talking dirty is more than just spouting out slang terms for body parts or activities; it's a way to express your attraction and desire for another person. It's not meant to be funny to make someone feel less than before you started. It's about making each other comfortable and reassuring them you find them sexually, sensually, and intimately pleasing to be with. It makes a woman feel like a woman who still has her sex appeal. It makes a man feel like he's still a man who can satisfy his woman.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

NEEDS OF THE FEW

Feb 02, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     You don't NEED a man; you WANT a man. Stop saying that shit! Yeah, you're super independent and pay for all your own shit, so ante up when the check comes to the table. If he pays for the movie, step the hell up and pay for the popcorn, drink, or whatever you or he may want.


     You don't NEED a man, you WANT one is down and dirty for, you have one foot out the door, and if he pisses you off, you're out the fucking door. You're telling him you could give a fuck if he stays or goes; your relationship has a limited value to her. You're telling him if you don't get your way or if he leaves the toilet seat up, you're gone. If he doesn't close the potato chip bag tight enough and they go stale, you're out. He's living in a right to work state relationship where he could get fired and sent on his way for any reason whatsoever. Why the fuck would you think a good, decent man would want to be with a woman who feels like that, much less say that stupid shit to him?


     You don't care what he has to say or feels about this subject; this is YOUR choice, and he can roll with it, or you'll roll right past him to the next person. The ONLY men who'll be okay with your way of thinking is a weak man who's options are severely limited, and he's just happy someone wants him, even if temporary; OR a man who only wants to fuck you and your personal shit doesn't concern him anyway. As long as he's getting some ass, you can keep your NEED/WANT mantra to yourself.


     Being comfortable by yourself instead of settling for the wrong person is admirable, especially in this modern time, where everyone seems to want to be with someone, even if they're no good for you. A good man wants to be needed; that not only reassures his masculinity and instincts to protect and provide. Telling him, you don't need him will also fuck up your sex life too. Why would you say to a man you don't need him, but you expect him to stay faithful to a relationship you've already put a sell-by date on? Why would it bother you to find out he met someone while the two of you were still together? Are you mad you pissed off because HE dumped YOU first?


     You tell him you don't NEED a man, but WANT one because you've been fucked over so much in the past, your walls are high as fuck, and you're looking for a man to prove himself worthy. Still, you don't realize your statement will keep a man from even trying to show you he's different because you've already told him he's not good enough. The problem is, you don't understand you're fucking yourself over when you're telling him you don't need him, instead of telling him you need time to trust and believe in him before you can give yourself.


     Stop telling him you can get off without him. If you have a battery-operated boyfriend or other types of sexual devices, don't keep that shit in the nightstand next to the bed. If he can't make you orgasm, don't fucking finish getting off while lying next to him; don't reach down and rub yourself off while he's still inside of you, that's so fucked up! Stop telling men you don't need them because you want to hold on to your independence. When you say that shit, you're telling him, he'll never have all of you, not your head, your heart, body, mind, NOTHING! You're telling him eventually you'll reach a point where you'll either go stagnant or go your separate ways. A decent man won't agree to this, so right then and there, or down the road, the relationship will end.


     Stop telling him you'll be fine without him. If he's a good man, why the hell would you tell him that? You're so worried about losing yourself, your independence, and your identity, you'll keep him at bay for self-preservation. He wants nothing but the best for you and the relationship. But you're clouded by what's happened to you in the past. Of course, we all bring emotional baggage with us. Still, to pre-sabotage your present relationship with a bullshit statement like you don't NEED him will challenge him masculinity and damage his idea of his self-worth in your eyes. Sooner or later, he WILL find someone who'll appreciate him for the man he is; then, you're assed out, wondering what you did to deserve being fucked over again and again. The answer? You keep fucking telling men you don't NEED them!


     You're telling him he'll never be worthy of you. No matter what he does or how good he is to you, it'll never be enough to deserve you truly. We realize everything we want isn't the best choice for us. Telling him, you don't need a man, but want one says she already has made up her mind; she's not going to get serious about you past a certain point. You may not be the best choice for her, and she's keeping her options open or preparing her exit in case something better comes along, or she gets to where she cares so much about you, she doesn't want to be without you; then she'll run. She doesn't want you to have that much influence or what she sees as power over her.


     So, hold on to your independence, your resolve. When you're sick, depressed, hurting physically, mentally, or emotionally, remember your statement. When you NEED that shoulder to cry on or that person who'll be there for you when you NEED to get something off your chest. When you're trying your best, and you NEED that extra push to reach your goals and no one's there because you don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. Your friends will be there, but there's something different; something more gratifying when you have that special someone to share your victories with. From the moment you make that statement, you begin pushing him away; you're setting yourself up for a short-term relationship. You're telling him eventually you'll get tired of being with him and you'll leave. He'll never see or get the best of you. You don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. You just missed out on a GOOD man.

 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Jan 26, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Do girls mature faster than boys? Society tends to think so, but it depends on who you ask. I don't believe they do. Boys want to remain boys for as long as they can, but with adult components attached to them. Girls just want to act fucking grown, and that's the farthest thing from maturity I can think of.


     If boys could legally drink, drive, get into bars, and fuck 21-year-old women, they'd stay 16 years old for at least 5-6 years. Girls are in such a hurry to act and be treated like she's 21 and would stay there for the rest of their lives.


     Girls don't mature faster; they just want to act fucking grown, especially if they have older sisters. They want to circumvent the developmental milestones their siblings had to wait for and do what they're doing now; they don't want to wait. In their minds, their parents are too old school, and they don't understand what it's like now; things are different from when her parents were her age. All the other girls are wearing makeup, dressing far older than they should, staying out late, dating earlier, etc. That's the main reason girls run out and get something pierced or tattooed on their 18th birthday. It's a declaration of independence, a statement to her parents, telling them she's grown and doesn't need their permission for a damn thing anymore.


     Younger girls are in a hurry to date, get a boyfriend, and dress more grown and revealing, not because they mature faster, but to be seen and taken by society as a woman. She'll want to set her boundaries and flex her independence, but still, be able to call on mom and dad to bail her out of trouble if she gets into some real shit. She wants to be grown when things are going her way, but want to jump back to being, "Daddy's little princess" When she needs rescuing. When it comes to men, girls will lie about their age to get an older guy who drinks, drives, has his own place, or whatever else it is he does or has to make her feel and appear older in the eyes of his peers. She puts that older guy on the chopping block with her father and the law, just to act fucking grown, believing the "Boys" her age are too immature.


     Girls don't mature faster than boys; they're put into positions to grow up faster under certain circumstances. Their mothers put far too much responsibility on these girls and rob them of their personal lives by looking to them to help raise their younger brothers and sisters. 13 or 14-year-old girl is making bottles, changing diapers, even being more of the disciplinarian than their own mothers. As they get older, they're denied their own lives by being kept at home to babysit while mom works or makes some attempt to reclaim what she missed out on by having children so early in life. Not only does this make girls try harder to act grown, but it also makes them resent their siblings and their parents. It also puts her in the situation when she does get to go out. She'll act wild as hell.


     Boys don't try to act grown; They're okay with living at home. They have someone to cook their meals, do their laundry, and solve their problems. He'll grow up in his own time, organically and naturally. Girls will try to assert what they feel is maturity by stepping out of bounds with grown-ass behavior, thinking they're on the same level as the older women around her, no matter what their age difference is. She'll believe she's mature enough to interrupt and participate in adult conversations. She steps out of place and insert herself into a group of women twice her age and assume or act as if they're all on the same level; she'll ask questions, speak as if she's had the same problems, experiences, and will even try to give input and advice on shit she has no idea about.


     Girls are in a hurry to grow up faster; they want to do the same things their older sisters are doing, without waiting until she's the same age they were allowed to. They'll compare themselves to those older siblings, even her parents. "That's not fair; mom gets to do it!" Mom's fucking grown, and she's been through it already; her own experience trumps you acting grown. The shit you're talking and trying to pull over your parent's eyes, they went through with your older sisters! They know the game! Whatever you THINK you can come up with that your parents haven't heard, think again; they've forgotten more than you know or will ever learn.


     Maturity is knowing your place and respecting the rules and boundaries set by your parents and accepting the fact that you're not as mature as you think you are. It's knowing you have to wait to date, wear makeup, stay up later, etc. Acting grown is waiting until you leave the house to hike up your skirt or dress, roll up the top of your shorts to make them shorter, and wiggle your 15-year-old butt through the halls at school or up and down the walkway at the mall. Acting grown is lying about your age to attract older men because you're convinced you're beyond the guys your own age. Maturity is knowing you're not ready; it's not your time. Acting grown is knowing the same thing, but not giving a fuck. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

READY OR NOT

Jan 19, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     You're not ready to get married; the hand that rocks the cradle rules the home concept is bullshit. Both participants should equally run the home. If the daily effort of the house isn't a joint effort, then you're not ready to be married.


     You're essentially married at the moment you accepted their proposal. You're married by practice; the wedding is just the ceremonial and legal aspect of marriage. When you said, "Yes," You agreed to become husband and wife at right at that moment.


     You're not ready to get married because you view your bachelor or bachelorette party as a celebration of your "Last night of freedom." That bullshit is nothing more than a last-minute, "Hall pass" to do dumb shit before walking down the aisle. If you're viewing your impending marriage as giving up your freedom and that needs to be celebrated, especially with getting shit-faced drunk, paying for strippers and such, you're not ready to be married. You're not prepared to be married because you see your impending marriage as a halt to your ability to go out and have fun without your partner and, "Act single."


     You're not ready because you feel like you're giving up your personality, your identity, your individuality. You're sacrificing who you are to be someone's husband or wife. You're not ready because you still need and enjoy outside attention from the opposite sex, even though you have no interest in them; it still means a lot to you that others find you attractive and desirable. You still want to hang out with your friends until 3 am, without calling. You're still hanging out with people who are trying to get you to continue behaving as if you're still single; "You're not married yet, so live it up!" Right?


     "Happy wife, happy life??" that's such a fucking dumb thing to believe, much less let come out of your mouth. That statement invalidates your equality. That's saying YOUR happiness isn't as important to the success of your relationship as hers. Your equality in the relationship; your thought, ideas, feelings, etc. are of no importance in comparison to hers. If you can't be just a generally happy in the everyday dynamic of your relationship, you shouldn't have gotten married. The phrase SHOULD be, "Happy couple, happy life." Her job is to make you just as happy and satisfied in the relationship as you make her.


You shouldn't have gotten married because your spouse goes out shopping for a new dress or shirt and slacks, and the thought of bringing something home for you didn't even cross their minds. They didn't even call to see if you wanted them to bring you home anything to eat, EVER! You need a special day or occasion to do something special for them or each other, such as a birthday, holiday, or anniversary — the concept of, "Just because" means nothing to either of you.


     You're not ready to be married because you don't even see each other as a man and a woman in a relationship; you view each other as nothing more than the parents of your children. Your husband isn't your husband anymore, and he's the father of your children and vice versa. You have no concept that you're married to a man or a woman who still needs the attention, affection, sensuality, and intimacy a man and a woman provide for each other. You're not ready to be married because you're only asking because she's pregnant or you have kids together. You use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment to correct what's viewed as a negative behavior or to get something you want.


     You're not ready to be married because you're not getting any younger. You might as well marry them since you've been together for so long. The pressure from your family and friends are why you're asking. You're not ready to get married because you have to ask in public to ensure they'll accept your proposal; you know they won't turn you down in a restaurant full of people or in front of your family and friends. They're not ready to marry you because you have to give them an ultimatum. You're not prepared to get married because the only reason you're asking because you don't want to break up, or you know someone else has their eye on your partner.


     They're not ready because they had/have to weigh out the pros and cons of accepting your proposal. You're not ready to be married because you're still bringing up and arguing over the same bullshit from your past.


     You're not ready because when asked why you love them or want to get married, you can't think of anything off the top of your head; you stumble through your answer like a machine gun on full auto. It took you 3-5 minutes to come up with a solution; if you have to write your own vows, you're up fuck creek, without a condom.


     "Cold feet" is bullshit. You're still weighing the pros and cons of walking down the aisle. You're still wondering if you're making the right decision or if you're thinking about being with just one person for the rest of your life. He's thinking about all the pussy he's going to miss out on, especially after his bachelor party. She's thinking about the guys from her past or present that could've been good choices, if not better than who's about to marry. Cold feet means you're not ready to be married because you're thinking about other options or possibilities.


     You're not ready because you're still in the "Mine" phase in your relationship. Your partner can't communicate something as simple as feeling uncomfortable with a choice you've made — my body, my choice, my life, etc. If you're still living in the center of a "Minefield," you're not ready to be married.

You're not ready to be married because she's been told over and over again and believes the wedding is, "Her day" That's another fucked up thing to say and believe. The wedding is not just HER day; the day belongs to both of you equally. It should be seen and treated as an equally important and special day for the BOTH of you, not just for HER. Any deviation from this theory is selfish, self-centered, and shitty. It's not about her; it's about both of you.


     If you're not ready, you're not prepared. Don't accept a proposal if you're unsure. Don't put someone in a position where they MUST accept to avoid humiliating you. Recognize that you aren't ready. Communicate your feelings regularly, and you can avoid feeling like you have to get married in order to stay together. In order to see yourself being ready, you have to see yourself prepared to put in 100%. That means there's no more, "I," "Mine," or "Yours." 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ALWAYS ROOM 4 JEALOUSY

Jan 12, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     Jealousy. It's a fork in the road that can lead down two different paths; one of motivation, the other down the path of shitty self-image and low self-esteem. The first thing we need to understand is that jealousy is an insult, whether you believe it or not. Even light-hearted jealousy is nothing more than saying what you have isn't good .enough, compared to what someone else has. If a woman's jealous of her friend's new man, she's telling her own guy he's not good enough to be in the same ring with this other guy and vice-versa. She's telling him he doesn't stack up in comparison to look to, money, style, physique, etc. A man who's jealous of his friend's new lady is telling his woman the same thing; she's inferior in weight, class, figure, poise, beauty, etc. Jealousy in someone else's relationship in saying your own relationship fails to meet the standards of someone else's. Jealousy will raise or cause you to realize what you have is sub-par and needs adjustment. Jealousy of someone else's relationship says you could've done better, but you settled for them.


     Jealousy over someone else's car says your car is substandard, compared to theirs; the same goes for anything else you find yourself jealous of. Jealousy over another person's sex life is saying your sex life is mediocre at best when compared to another couple,s and you could do much better, but you don't want to put the time or effort into finding it. Jealousy over strangers is even worse; these are people you don't even fucking know. You're jealous of how another woman's man looks at the club, you're telling your man he ain't shit, compared to that other guy. You're jealous of how another woman looks at the gym in her yoga/stretch pants? You're telling your lady she's built like a plastic bag of jagged rocks, compared to that other woman.


     Jealousy over another person's partner is basically an internal statement saying, "I wish I had him/her, instead of you!" Jealousy over what someone else has is saying the same; they wish they had what that other person had, instead of what they have now. Money, car, job, relationship, clothes, figure, muscles, etc. You name it; it fits under the umbrella of dissatisfaction.


     Back to the message at hand, jealousy can motivate someone to put the time, effort, and hard work into bringing themselves up to meet their own internal standard, not yours or anyone else's. It's all about them and whether or not they want to step up and take on the challenge of upgrading themselves past jealousy status. A woman will only find the motivation to upgrade herself past jealousy if SHE chooses; not to meet the standards of her man. Men will only rise to his own standard if HE chooses to. In the gym, people will see others in better shape or lifting significantly more weight than they can. Their choices are either rise to the challenge or allow themselves to feel defeat before the battle even begins.


     The other road in this fork leads down the path of shitty self-image and confidence. Who wants to be with someone who thinks they don't measure up to someone else? For some people, jealousy is a motivator to step up and upgrade themselves to the level of someone else, but not as much as those who'll allow themselves to wallow in self-doubt. Knowing your partner thinks his/her friend's partner is superior to you in some or every way can fuck up your head. It'll make you not give a fuck and stay right where you are. Or it can put that fire in your ass to take that first step. If you've chosen the fire, don't fuck up and burn yourself, trying to take on a full upgrade all at once, set short-term goals for yourself, and celebrate the small victories as you go along. If you've decided not to, communicate to your partner how fucked up their comments about how their jealousy makes you feel.


     Another type of jealousy is manufactured. An innocent comment or comparison could create a sense of jealousy where the insult of jealousy isn't from the jealous, but the other person. Comparing the GREAT cup of coffee they had somewhere else will make the jealous person wonder why he/she never has a second cup of THEIR coffee. A man will praise and congratulate his woman on losing 15 lbs., but will apeshit and straight into a celebratory mode when he sees the next-door neighbor who lost the same 15 lbs. with a resounding, "WOW! You look great!"


     The worst thing a person can do is rationalize their reaction to be of equal caliber. No, it's not; don't even try that shit. When she meets your brother for the first time, and he's 6'2, 235 lbs. of straight movie star muscle, and she can't seem to stop staring. When you bring it up to her, she responds with, "Don't be like that babe, you look good too." That's manufactured jealousy, and it's NOT just in his head. The insult isn't coming from the jealous person; it's coming from you! You're saying, "I know you did your best, but damn, that looks better."


     Believing jealousy to be a way to prove you care about someone, they'll manufacture jealousy from their partner by bragging about the attention and advances from other members of the opposite sex. You're essentially telling your partner they better step their game up because other people are waiting to replace you and if you're not careful or do what you should be doing, one of them could take them away. This tactic is popular but risky and dumb as fuck. You'll mess around and try that shit with the wrong person and quickly end up on single status; it's even worse when you lied and made that shit up, to manufacture jealousy.


     So, what's the point of jealousy? To insult someone else, to point out they're the alternate choice. They're saying you're good enough, but damn, that looks better! Manufactured jealousy is for you; to make you feel better about yourself and build your self-esteem. You're trying to make someone jealous because you can't/won't communicate your need for affirmation from your partner.

Regardless of the situation or the subject in question, jealousy is a fucking insult; there's no way around it. It's a shitty insult that you're rubbing in someone else's face or harboring within yourself. True, jealousy can be a hell of a motivator to upgrade yourself, but it can also fuck you or your partner's head up. You want what someone else has, and you're telling someone they're not good enough, but you settled for them anyway. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

NEW YEAR

Jan 05, 2020

BY D.K. LION

     It's that time of year; where people stand in front of the mirror, take a good, hard look at themselves and evaluate their lives over the last 12 months; Their successes, failures, triumphs, and tragedies. Additionally, the time of year of self-reflection and the birthplace of plans or a whole new you in the year to come. Resolutions. The pledge to better yourself in the upcoming year in terms of life, love, profession, health, mental, and emotional well-being. Resolving to be a better person at the beginning of the new year is a right of passage for many, many people, but the truth of the matter is, if you're making New Year's resolutions, you're going to fail.


     You're going to quit smoking. You vow to give up drugs and not drink so much. You're going to end things with the person your stepping out of your relationship or marriage with. You're going to use that gym membership you've been paying for but never walked through the door since signing up three years ago. You're going to lose weight. You're going to eat healthier and give up coffee. You're going to start going back to church. Whatever your resolution is, it's going to fail, at least for about 85% of you. Why? Because you've been making the same bullshit resolutions every year for the past ten years!


     Your resolutions are going to fail because if you REALLY wanted to make these changes, you'd start IMMEDIATELY! You wouldn't wait for the new year to start; you'd start now. Resolutions are nothing more than statements of intent, but procrastinating for just a few months longer, hoping another reason for you to back outcomes along. Your resolutions are going to fail because you don't want to make the changes; your family does. You know you spend enough time with your family, your wife, or your kids, but you just HAVE to watch football all day on Sunday. You realize you smell like shit when you come back after a smoke break, and your co-workers are forced to smell that shit for the next hour or so. The same goes for pot smokers. You know you need to eat healthier and exercise because you have a history of a particular illness in your family.


     You know you're not doing the right thing. Knowing you should change. Knowing you need to. Knowing it'll be the best thing for you to do. These are NOT strong enough reasons to remain vigilant, steadfast, and dedicated to your resolutions. You have to WANT to make the change for yourself to be successful. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who share the same common goal as you so you can feed each other support and harvest motivation and drive from each other's triumphs as well as failures.


     Form a weight-loss club, a stop smoking circle with people who WANT to stop smoking so you can help each other through the cravings. Be honest with your partner and your family about how you realize you don't spend enough time with them, and it's okay for them to come to you when they're feeling neglected. Take ownership of your addictions. Whatever your undesired vice is, whatever changes you want to make, do it for the right reasons.


     Resolutions are a joke. Resolutions are for people who truly have the intention of doing better and being better, but it's just procrastination. Start making the changes now, especially when you're trying to convince yourself and others that you're serious about being better. I'm sure your friends and family are tired of hearing you swear you'll never touch drugs or alcohol again, but they know from their experiences you're lying. Resolutions are for people who make their intent to change SOUND good. Don't wait until the new year to begin; before you can convince others your change is sincere, you have to believe it first. You have to prove yourself to yourself before anyone else can or will take you seriously. 


~~~~~~



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

GOING GETS TOUGH

Dec 15, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     There are doors we simply won't walkthrough. They seem funny or silly to others, but it's no laughing matter. You may not know someone's history or reason behind their reluctance to make an appearance in certain places or events, even if you've known them for a long time. The last thing you should do is laugh at or make fun of them; it's their thing. Fear of open water. Heights. Snakes and spiders. Public speaking. Some are common and understandable, but other people might not give thought to because they seem so normal. Nevertheless, if someone tells you they have an issue with something, it's not for you to humiliate them or share with anyone else.


- HOSPITALS: A lot of people don't do hospitals. Grandma went in to have her appendix out and never left. Grandad went in for kidney surgery and never came out. Dad went in for liver surgery and never made it. That's why they hate hospitals.


- DENTIST: The dentist is pretty much associated with pain or at least discomfort, even when it comes to just a cleaning. The needle in the mouth, the drill, that nasty tasting rubber thing they put in your mouth when they're doing a filling. There's nothing good about the dentist at all.


- GYM: This could be an intimidating place for a lot of people, especially if you're a newbie, with no idea what you're doing, even though you're trying hard as hell to look like you do. Women avoid the gym because they feel as if they're being judged or compared to the other women that are there.


- COURT: Traffic ticket. Jury duty. Pretty much any time you have to go to court is like being a guest on a tabloid-style talk show, expecting to be the first person ever to set foot on stage and receive good news. That's just not going to happen.


- FUNERALS: Not only does a funeral remind us of our own mortality and eventual death, but it's also just creepy as fuck.


- LIBRARY: Few places can make a person feel more intimidated, uneducated, and stupid as the library. Dewey Decimal is NOT a cartoon character from your childhood.


- WEDDINGS: The reminder of how much of a disaster your marriage was, how messy the divorce, and the custody/child support battle you're fighting at the moment.


- BRIDAL SHOWERS: Another reminder that you're alone, and you have absolutely no prospects.


- BABY SHOWERS: A reminder of the miscarriage from 5 years ago or perhaps the child they lost to a drunk driver or red light runner two years ago. Maybe it's a fact they're unable to have children of their own. It's like going dancing if you're in a wheelchair; you don't want to be reminded of what you'll NEVER be able to do again.


- NIGHTCLUBS/BARS: Recovering alcoholic. Fear of crowds. They could've been the victim of a sexual assault that began at a club or bar. One or both their parents might have been alcoholics.


- SUPERMARKETS/SHOPPING: Out of control spending or addiction to impulse-buying keeps the budget intact.


- BRIDGES: Just HELL, NO!


- HAUNTED HOUSES: You don't know a person's past or history. Some people just don't do well with being scared or having things jump out at them. They may have been a rape victim or combat veteran; either way, being startled isn't a good thing.


- HORROR MOVIES: That's just a huge HELL NO for some people.


- FLIGHTS/CRUISES: Basic lack of control; your life is in the hands of someone you don't even know what they look like.


- THE BASEMENT AT NIGHT: Fuck you; I'm not going. The fuse box is in the basement? Guess what? We are not getting the fuse changed. That circuit breaker's staying fucked up until the next morning. Or we're ALL going down in that fucking basement TOGETHER! All 6 of us!


- PUBLIC RESTROOMS: Some restrooms are so gross and nasty; you'd probably contract a damn disease, STD, or end up pregnant if you use that toilet.


- CAMPING: Cabin in the woods? Okay. Tents and sleeping bags? Fuck you! Have you never seen a horror movie in your entire life?


- THE WOODS: Are you serious? Fuck you twice with a ribbon and a handwritten note, addressed to the stupid asshat who went out in the woods at night that reads, "You're gonna die!"


- THE LAKE/RIVER IN THE WOODS: Three words; SALT. WATER. CROCODILE.


- OPEN PUBLIC VENUES: Some people just don't do large crowds, especially with their small children. People plan out and train to be able to snatch you or your kids in plain view or right from under your nose.


- NEW PLACES: Some people just aren't comfortable being in places they've never been to before. Or they hate being the first person to arrive somewhere their friends are meeting. They'll sit in the car until someone else walks up or has arrived.


- BEACH: Some feel as if they're showing too much of themselves. Fear of open water or everyone's staring at them.


- ANYPLACE, ALONE: From the mall parking garage to the grocery store parking lot, to their own home, some have an issue with being alone; just the presence of a pet makes them feel better, just as long as they're not by themselves. 100% fear-based.


     While I'm sure there are more that can be added to this list, we all have those quirky places or events that just don't sit right with us, and whenever they come up, we fire right back with a resounding, "Hell NO!" If you're on the receiving end of a response like this, don't be an asshole; just because you don't see an issue doesn't mean there isn't one. Be respectful and don't try to make fun of or try to get them to talk about it if they don't want to. Would you want to be pressured into opening an emotional wound from your past? Would you want to be made fun of because you have an issue with heights or thunder and lightning?


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CRITICAL MASS

Dec 1, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     With just their well-being in mind, wanting the best for someone else is hard to believe when they haven't asked for your help. Sure, the goal is to protect someone from making a huge mistake or committing an action that'll cause one harm, negative reactions, or consequences. Their safety may be on the forefront of our minds when trying to be honest about something, but deep down, some just want to be a hero, they want to be right, to show someone else they're not as street smart or prepared to take on a task or responsibility. Unless asked, there's almost always an underlying, sometimes subconscious ulterior motive when volunteering honesty, advice, or criticism.


     Criticism is something of another beast altogether. The initial or core purpose can be the same as with honesty, but the delivery is obviously different. People who criticize may not have the vocabulary, common sense, or social skills to navigate a conversation past a certain level. Criticism is another person's version of the truth, based on how they think, feel, and would personally deal with a situation. Criticism may also be how a person would WANT to react, but wouldn't actually do so in fear of the consequences. They don't have the tact or the ability to deliver their version of honesty without being disrespectful or mindful of the other person's feelings. Criticism is usually done on the fly and off the cuff, with very little pre-planning when it comes to how to present their advice or how it'll be received.


     Regardless of which one you're guilty of unless someone has actually asked for it, it's pretty much safer to keep your advice to yourself, no matter your intentions. Verbal abuse is the exception; it can be voiced without warning or concern for anyone else but the abuser.


     On very few occasions, will two people be on the exact same page or level when it comes to sex? One could be more experienced or open to experimentation than the other One may have been taught specific actions or behaviors are shameful, wrong, or disrespectful. They don't have the confidence or imagination to take sex to the next level, so care has to be taken when trying to communicate, introducing something new into the bedroom. The last thing you'd want to do is give the impression they're inadequate, and you'll start to look elsewhere for satisfaction. Along the same lines criticizing your partner's sex drive, whether in over or underdrive, has to be discussed with caution. You'll end up fucking someone's head up, even more, putting more strain on an already sensitive subject. Size and performance should never be open for criticism.


     Our interests and hobbies differ naturally. We're attracted to people we share things in common with, but just because someone's not as good at dancing, basketball, bowling, pool, or swimming isn't a reason to laugh, criticize, or verbally attack them. Barking at them will only make them not want to do anything or go anywhere with you, especially if it's done in public.


     It's embarrassing enough for someone to have to deal with a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a job, without being criticized for having to move back home as an adult. It's different when dealing with someone who just doesn't want to work or better themselves because they don't want to grow up and be responsible. Find out someone's circumstances before criticizing and passing judgment. Criticizing someone's job is another thing. Just because you're making six-figures doesn't mean you have the right to talk shit or pass judgment on someone else because they're not. If you want someone as career-driven as you, don't date an artist, writer, or the guy/girl who works in the mailroom, go for that CEO hopeful. Everyone who is unemployed isn't a bum or unmotivated freeloader, looking for a handout. Trust me, a REAL man or woman already feels like shit because they lost their job or can't find one out of college. If you can't be supportive, keep your criticisms to yourself.


It's better to try, fail, and learn a lesson than to go through life, wondering what could've been. Criticizing someone's goals and dreams is a shitty thing to do; most of the time. Even when those aspirations are unrealistic, support is the best thing you can give. On the flip side, trying to be a rapper at 45 years old is a little ridiculous when you have no regular income. Not wanting to leave your present job for a better one because you can't/won't pass the drug screen is another issue in itself. If smoking weed, drinking, or not wanting to dress professionally is the reason you won't leave your fast-food job at 50 years old, you shouldn't even be wasting your time with them; they sure as hell don't care about your criticism.


     The only dumb questions are those that go unasked. Criticizing someone's questions is shitty. Because something is common sense to you is definitely not a reason to make someone feel like shit for asking you to explain or elaborate.


     There's absolutely no way, shape, or form to question or criticize a person's weight, figure, fitness, and it not be met with a fucked-up response. Even when their health is at risk, this is one subject that must be met and dealt with like a newborn child. There are just some things people have no control over, such as the behavior of their friends or their relatives and how they may feel about something such as interracial relationships. Don't make it someone else's fault because their friends or family members are drug addicts, racists, or alcoholics. You may not even approve of their significant other or spouse; if that's the case, there's really nothing you can do about it besides deal with it or cut all ties with them.


     Just because you spend a significant amount of time and money on your wardrobe, don't get involved with jeans and t-shirt type of guy/girl when you're always dressed to impress. You may have the credit or money to buy a brand new car, buy name brand clothes on impulse or drop a nice chunk of change on an expensive meal; it doesn't make someone else less than human if they can't or choose to save for a rainy day. Again, if you're looking for that type of person or friends, surround yourself with those types of people, instead of complaining or criticizing someone who doesn't or can't afford what you can. Along with that, don't be a fucking asshat and talk shit if you invite someone out and agree to pick up the check.


     Even if fully aware, parents don't want to hear what you have to say about their kids, unless it actively concerns the law or their safety. If one of your friends has children that are assholes, just don't hang out with them. Don't invite them to your house or don't go anywhere with them. If they're meek, docile pushovers, calling them names or trying to give advice on how to toughen up their son or feminize, their daughter will be met with malcontent, anger, and defensive response.


     People take things differently; what you may not see as a big deal may be an erupting volcano to someone else. Criticizing how somebody takes something that was said or done makes you insensitive and judgmental, overly sensitive won't be taken well at all. Leave the ass-backward apologies at home as well. "I'm sorry you took it that way" isn't an apology for what you said or did; you're accusing them of being overly sensitive Apologizing is for your benefit, not theirs.


     Telling someone they NEED to do something is not only critically shitty and rude but borderline abusive. Telling someone they NEED to lose weight, they NEED to get a better job, they NEED to discipline their kids has nothing to do with their best interest; it's all about YOU and what YOU want them to do in order to please YOU.


     A person's past, background, or history should never be criticized. If you have an issue with how someone was raised, where they came from, their ideas, values, or beliefs, just don't get involved with them. Criticism and judgment is the result of a choice the offender made when deciding to begin a relationship, friendship, or even profession. Once the subject of what bothers them comes to light, it's their choice to remain in the situation. Before you comment or criticize someone else, remember, whatever you have to say about someone, there's someone saying the EXACT same things about you.  


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FRIEND OR FOE

Nov 24, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Getting right to the point, there are friendships from our past that no matter how long you go back with that person, the friendship has run its course and its time to let that shit go. Why? Because you're on different paths, one of you may be walking more on the straight and narrow than the other; lifestyle changes, differences in opinion, habits, or behavior. Perhaps you're living on different sides of the law. Whatever the case may be, you just know your long-time obligation to that person is the only thing keeping your friendship intact, even though you're fully aware of it's toxicity to your life. Trying to hold on to an old friendship can be mentally as well as physically dangerous or damaging to who you are as a person. Your reputation, your relationship, your career, freedom, even your life could be in jeopardy, trying to remain loyal to the wrong friend.


     You could be no more than an innocent bystander, hanging out with the wrong friend at the wrong time when you're suddenly caught in the crossfire of a drive-by shooting because your best friend from "Back in the day" happens to be a drug dealer or gang member. They could owe someone money, and they chose to make YOU an example of what happens when debts aren't paid on time. Hanging out with the wrong person could cause others to view you in the worst light possible. If they're a player, you can bet your ass every woman who knows your friend or friends aren't shit; you ain't shit by association. The same goes for women; if the friends she keeps are known to be easy, drunk, party girls who give up the ass after just a few drinks, most men will think you're the same way.


     Tom and Marcus have been friends since middle school; they were inseparable through high school, even played varsity basketball together. Tom went on to college on an athletic scholarship, earning a degree, while Marcus dropped out his Junior year of high school in pursuit of fast money. Thinking he's just misunderstood because of his circumstances, Tom tries to maintain his loyalty and friendship with Marcus, even though they've obviously chosen different paths. While on vacation, Tom and Marcus are heading home from a party when they're stopped by the police. Marcus is wanted for questioning about an armed robbery, and he has no intention of getting his third strike. He pulls out a gun and opens fire, resulting in the officers returning gunfire, killing both him and Tom. Perhaps a rival gang sees them together at some point and believes they're BOTH in the same gang and beats the shit out of Tom.


     Whenever you saw Becky, Tracy wasn't too far behind. As they got older, Becky went on to pursue a professional career while Tracy sat content with working retail jobs and stuck to her party-girl ways. Eventually, Tracy found herself hooked on drugs or unable to care for her four children without assistance. Taking to the streets when she needs money, between her pimp and her drug habit, she ends up in a position where she owes someone money. One night while heading out, she asks Becky to swing by her boyfriend's house. Little does Becky know Tracy's man is also her pimp and a drug dealer who owes someone money. Walking in at the wrong time, he may not have the money he owes but has something just as good; Tracy. She's fucked guys before to get him out of debt, and this time's no different, except that THIS time, they want her AND Becky, who isn't into that lifestyle at all. Now Becky's in a situation where her life is in danger if she doesn't give in to what's expected of her. Maybe Tracy intentionally brought Becky with her to the drug dealer she owes money to, with the intent of trading her friend to wipe out her debt.


     On a lighter note, A long-time friend would be critical and jealous of the other's evolution; they could've met a game-changing significant other. The realization they need to grow up and get their shit straight. The other may see this as abandonment and want their friendship to stay exactly the same and will get shit bent out of shape because they feel like they're being left behind. From grade school to their mid to late 20's, Jim and John played ball, hung out, ran the streets, chased women, partied, and drank like a fish every weekend. As they got older, Jimmy decided it was time to get right and get his shit together. John won't like that; he hasn't changed a bit since college. He wants Jimmy to stay the way they were and calls him out when he chooses to hang out with other people who share his new interests that don't include John.


      Amanda's focus was to start her family early and got married or had kids earlier in life while her friends were still trying to figure out what they wanted. They were still partying and hanging out while she stays at home, playing the role of the faithful wife and mother. After her divorce, she found herself in her 40's, single, and her children are old enough where they have their own interests. Now it's HER time to go wild, but all of her friends have met people and are pursuing long-term relationships, but Amanda wants them to be single and wild with her, but they've already been through that phase and want nothing to do with it anymore.


     Could both these situations be avoided? Absolutely. Especially when you know your friendship with someone from your past is not only counterproductive but dangerous. Does that make you a shitty friend? HELL NO! That makes you smart. Loyalty is one thing, but when it crosses the line into affecting your life in a negative way, it's time to dump that loyalty and look out for yourself and your safety. Your obligation may dictate your desire to help your friend get out of the situation they're in. Becky invites Tracy to move in with her to get clean and away from the lifestyle she's in. How many times should Becky allow Tracy to steal from her, run back to the streets, back to drugs, or call her at 3 am to pick her up from who knows where before throwing her hands up and walking away? How many times Does Tom have to go to court and defend Marcus, "Pro bono" for some stupid shit he's gotten arrested for?


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FALSE ADVERTISEMENT

Nov 17, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Why try to be something you're not? Why lie about who you are, what you do, have, or are all about? Why pretend to have ideas, beliefs, or values you've never given much thought to, just to make a good impression or fool someone into thinking something different about who you really are?


     Are you ashamed of where you come from? Do you feel or see your true self in such a shitty light, you don't believe you're worthy? Is it a fear of rejection? Low self-esteem or self-worth? Do you dislike what you see in the mirror so much, you have to create an alter-ego you think people will like better than the REAL you? Are you truly aware of just how little you really have to offer? Why aren't you good enough the way you are?


    Why try to fool your co-workers, even your boss? Who cares if you don't have the same education or experience as others? You already have the job; lying about that trip you never took to Japan won't get you fired, and it sure as hell wasn't the reason you were hired in the first place. Popularity in the office is important, and you'll do whatever you can to achieve it. You pretend to be something or someone you're not; you brag or embellish stories about your personal life, thinking it'll make people like you. The truth? No matter how much anyone at work may like you based on truth or lie, will sell you the fuck out at the speed of light to keep their job, so is it REALLY that important someone like that likes/accepts you?


     We try to supplement who we are or trying to be with fake eyelashes, hairpieces, weaves & wigs. We dye our hair funky ass colors or to hide our gray. Push-up/Padded bras to give more cleavage or to make your boobs look bigger and more pleasing — fake butt pads, and fingernails. Men wear sleeves on their dicks or stuff a sock in their pants to make their package look bigger. We wear contacts to change our eye color, spray on orange paint to look tanned, and jewelry to make others think we're rolling in more money than we actually have. Let a pretty girl walk by, and a man will suck in his gut so hard, he risks shitting himself; as soon as she passes, he's panting like a dog on a hot summer day. Women wear body slimmers to avoid the appearance of a mattress wrapped in barbed wire. Shoe lifts and penis enlargement pumps?


     What's the point? What's really the purpose of putting on all that fake shit, pretending to be someone you're not? Are you really THAT ridiculous in your thinking, or are you so delusional you seriously haven't given any thought to realizing the truth will come out eventually? We know your hair isn't blonde, your roots are showing after just two weeks; you can't wear a hairpiece 24/7. Sooner or later, all that makeup has to come off; the pits and wrinkles in your face will be discovered. Your belly will hang, your sagging boobs will be discovered, and so will that sock in your front pocket. Your cottage cheese and your bingo wings will come to light. Every imperfection you try to keep submerged will float to the surface. What will you do? What does that happen? Who will you really be pissed off at if the other person doesn't see you the same way and loses interest? Them, because you see them as shallow, or yourself because you got caught being deceptive?


      Sooner or later, the time will come where your true self will arise, so why not just start out the gate being yourself? The truth is everything you do to mask who you are is nothing more than an open declaration. You're telling everyone you're trying to fool with all that fake shit exactly what you hate about yourself. If people are so easily willing to be fake on the outside, what makes you think they're not doing it on the inside? Lying about career, education, personality, ideas, and beliefs; how do you know you're not being told exactly what you want to hear until you're emotionally invested in that other person BEFORE you learn the truth? You don't; they're hoping by the time you find out they're not really who they've pretended to be, you'll be so into the relationship, the truth won't matter.


     You're not a player; hell, you don't even play one on television. Why are you going out, playing the role, pretending to be smooth and savvy? Like you have so much game, you can handle a full stable of women, knowing you really just want someone to have your back. Your "Hey baby" act is just that, an act you put on so others will see you as being larger than life and make yourself feel superior. The truth is, you're looking for somebody to come home to; who wants to love you for who you are and happy to see you walk through the door. Do you REALLY want to be out in the streets every weekend, looking for something you may not even find, or would you rather know for a fact you have that, "Game-changer" at home, waiting for you? The reason you have all these different women is that each of them has 1 or 2 things to offer, and you're trying to turn or combine them all into just one person. That's what you really want; that one person who gives you everything you want and need.


      You pretend to be something you're not because in some shape or form, you hate something about yourself, even if you don't realize it, or maybe you do and refuse to face or take steps to remedy it. Maybe it's something you can't fix, or it seems too hard or not worth the effort. Faking, it is far easier than dealing with your shortcomings.


     Why are you acting like you're a bigger deal than you are? You stroll into work on Monday morning, bragging about all the men at the club or even in the office who just won't leave you alone? Why do you act the part, lie, and tell these men you're not looking for anything serious? Because you know if you tell them the truth about what you really want, they'll tuck ass and run! So what if they do? Are these the men you really want to get involved with? Trust me when I say your popularity in the workplace comes from men talking about you; they know if they take you out, you're fucking. Take a chance, and be yourself, be honest about what you want. Stop being a fuck hole and see how your popularity will plummet.


     Why are you pretending to have all this money when you're working in retail, handling delivery packages, or waiting tables? Having a job and putting in an honest day's work is nothing to be ashamed of or dishonest about. Anyone who can't support or appreciate that shouldn't even be on your radar! Stop acting like a superheroine who doesn't need or want someone to make you feel like a woman. Go ahead, be the boss at work, but leave that shit at the office. Bring your ass home, and let your man be a man. You want to be the same hard-ass who's in control and handle your business like a dual set of katana blades. There's no reason or place for that type of shit in your relationship. You're at home; you don't need to play the tough-as-nails, don't take any shit attitude in your relationship. Home should be the one place you can take off the mask, hang your helmet and shield, and remove your armor.


     Why aren't you good enough for others just the way you are? Can't you just be yourself? You're right, you're not good enough for anyone else, because you're not good enough for yourself yet. You strut around with fake confidence dripping from every pore like sweat, all the while, hoping no one sees how frightened you really are or see right through you. The scared, insecure, nervous inner child we try so hard to keep hidden.


     Why the intense need for acceptance? Are we still in high school trying to fit in with the cool kids? Are we still chasing popularity? Are you still dreaming about making it with the head cheerleader? Are you getting asked out to prom by the captain of the basketball team? None of that shit is real, so who are you trying to fool? Who are you pretending to be, or are you broadcasting what you don't like about yourself and overcompensating? Is it your mid-life crisis sports car, $30,000 motorcycle? Your younger man/woman? Stop pretending to be someone you're not; sooner or later, your true nature WILL come out; do you really want to make yourself a liar from the start?


~~~~~~

 

Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

"F" THAT!

Nov 10, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     People think a fuck is this evil, horrible crime only players and sluts commit. It's the antichrist of sex. Fucking is seen as the negative aspect of sex, the arch-enemy of sex and lovemaking. In the eyes of society, fucking is seen as the dark side of something physically and emotionally beautiful. The truth is, a fuck is just as important to a healthy sexual relationship as sex and lovemaking. A successful sex life depends on being able to take time for sex, making love, and dropping your pants or lifting your dress or skirt, and taking the dick like a warrior princess.


     A fuck isn't or doesn't have to be this sinful deed to avoid at all costs. Can it be? Absolutely. However, there's a huge difference between fucking someone the same night you met or on the first date, not knowing if you'll ever hear from them again and the person you're in a relationship with. You're already having sex, so what's the big deal if you both want to take it to a more primal level?


     Fucking your partner doesn't have to be the horrible act people make it out to be. Some people just don't have the time, opportunity, or availability for a long, drawn-out sex session or love-making. Does that mean you shouldn't do anything physical unless you can have 30 minutes to an hour to put into it, or would you rather take the 5-10 minutes you do have to slip into the bathroom or bedroom while the kids are watching T.V.? You woke up early and have some extra time in the morning before starting your day? Climb on top and ride the dick, or get on your hands and knees and take it hard and fast. Go to work with a smile on your face! People get so wrapped up in their everyday lives, and they don't take the time to stop and appreciate each other for being the sexual individuals you saw them for at earlier in your relationship.


     Women will accept their friend for being the type who'll hook up with a guy she just met and relate that to how men think of her. These are the women who see fucking as something to avoid, but it's not the same at all, not in the least bit. For her friend, it's about sex, pure and simple. In a relationship, it can be part of a deeper connection she doesn't even realize because of the modern cultural view of primal sex. It's not an insult or a bad thing; knowing your partner still wants to fuck you can be seen as a HUGE compliment to you, as well as a boost to your ego and self-confidence.


     Being open to primitive, physically goal-oriented sex is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what age you are. Of course, younger people are more open to the idea and attraction to fucking because they're not in the same mind frame of wanting to settle down with one partner. Their need revolves around experimenting and experiencing as many partners as possible. As people get older, the desire and need for reassurance increase, especially with women. Men are so quick to want to trade his lady in for a younger model; she needs to feel wanted and viewed as sexually appealing. After a significant period of emotional neglect, women will seek this reassurance from outside sources. Not to imply infidelity, but rest assured, if her man isn't making her feel sexy, she'll find someone, ANYONE who will.


     Stop letting others put such a mistaken and incorrect view of yourself, your man, or your sexual preferences or activities. That's YOUR business, and they belong to you. Don't allow others to put your dignity and self-respect on trial just because you're more comfortable with a wider, more sensual expression of your sexuality. Your attraction to fucking and being fucked isn't available for judgment or criticism without your permission. If you feel confident and satisfied with how you express your sexuality, you're better off than most, including the critics who pass judgment on you by calling you a slut or questioning your self-respect.


     Not just meant for women; being open to fucking can also compliment her man's confidence, offering him reassurance and a boost to his self-image and confidence when she tells him how good he can still fuck her to orgasm. Let him know he can still drop the dick down like a hammer. For both of them, it gives them confidence that they satisfy each other and meets the other's need to feel sexually appealing. The craving and availability of primal sexual expression can decrease negative thoughts and suspicions. They have no reason to go anywhere else when they're getting what they need from each other. Everything you get from knowing your man still wants to fuck you like he just met you is the same way he wants to feel from you. Give it to him. He may act like he's too cool to admit it, but he wants and needs the same things from you.


     A woman doesn't go out with her man and hopes he doesn't want to feel her up and be all over her, and if she does, they need to have a long discussion about needs and expectations. The same goes for a man. If he gets bent and turns down her sexual advances when/if other women are around, she needs to be asking some important questions about their relationship. A man goes out, wanting and hoping to find a woman who'll hook up with him and fuck him on the first night, but he doesn't approve of that mentality from his lady? There's something wrong with that. Men and women who'll want to fuck a stranger, but have issues being that way with their partner is a deeper situation than fucking.


     Men will go out for the night and want to meet a woman who'll grind her ass on him, let him grab her ass as his life depended on it. He'll want to meet a woman who will let him down the front of her dress to feel how wet she is or up/down her top and inside her bra; he'll want her to go outside with him and suck his dick in the car or bend her over the hood and pound the fuck out of her, but he can't and won't do the same for his lady to make her feel sexy! He'll use the excuse that he respects her too much for things like that, no matter how much she may ask for it.


     Some people just aren't built for traditional sex or lovemaking. Some people are more primal and expressive and choose to be more sexual away from the bedroom and behind closed doors. Not to imply these people are into the voyeur or swinger lifestyle; they're just not into the whole, "Let's go to the bedroom/get in bed" type of sex. Some couples are just more comfortable in varied environments and situations than people with a more "Traditional" sexual outlook. That doesn't make them, "Freaks," they're just comfortable with each other, and they have better sex away from the mattress.


     Don't leave it up to the man to always or do the lion's share of initiating. Do you complain about the lack of sex in your relationship? That's partially YOUR fault! One of you wants more sex; the other wants to fuck more. If you want the dick, then get the dick. If he wants you to suck his dick in the parking lot after a night out of dinner and dancing, suck his dick. Why are you waiting for him? He wants to feel just as sexy and wanted as you do. His self-confidence and self-image will benefit just like yours. He needs the same satisfaction as you. Don't be such a prude that you can't or won't give in to your primal sexual instincts or desires.


     A fuck is primal. It shows the raw, animalistic attraction a man has for a woman. It tells her she still turns him on, and he can't help wanting her in the worst fucking way possible. It can be an insult, but also one of the greatest unspoken sexual compliments a man can give. If all you're doing is fucking, that's something to bring up, but every now and then, your man wants to put that dick to you while you're mixing brownie batter or during a commercial break? Let him. Let that man come in the shower with you, bend you over and take that shit from behind. If it feels good, tell him; if not right then, shortly after. Let him know it makes you feel good that he still sees you like the sexy fucking jungle cat you were when you first met. Stop taking it as such a damn insult.


     Primal sex a vital part of a healthy sexual relationship. It can build self-confidence and self-esteem. Knowing your man can't keep his hands off you and his dick out of you can strengthen the confidence in your fidelity; if you're open to seeing it, his attraction to fucking you can be a hell of a sign or message to you, saying he has no need or reason to go looking for anything he may be missing at home. Stop making it such a bad thing or something to cringe at or shy away.


      It's not the insult you think it is. You're friends tell you he's treating you like a slut. If they're not telling you to your face, they're saying it behind your back. So what? Does the dick feel good? Is he tearing into you like an apex predator? Does he still make love to you? Then your friends are probably just jealous or pissed because you're getting something they're not or they've never had it, so their initial reaction is one of condemnation. If it makes you confident that he's not out, getting what you're not giving because you're letting your friends dictate what's good for your relationship, then who gives a fuck what they think? Just stop telling them about it. Women normally don't want to hear how great their friends' sex life, especially if theirs is in the shithole.


     When you were going out for the night, why is it such a negative thing if your man wants you to show off your body for him? Why wouldn't you want your man to be proud of how you look? Does it really make sense to be offended if he's so proud to be seen with you that he wants to show you off? 


     You spend all that time, effort, and hard work at the gym just to cover it up when your man thinks your fucking sexy as hell? What woman gets dressed for a night out, hoping her man doesn't think she's the sexiest fucking thing in the room? Why wouldn't you want him all over you? Why wouldn't you want his hands all over your body? Because you're more concerned about what some stranger thinks of you and your morals over what your man thinks? "Get a room,"? How about turning your fucking head in the other direction if it bothers you to see a man feeling up his woman?


     Stop making fucking such a bad thing; it's not the insult to your sex life you think it is or allow yourself to feel. Fucking and getting fucked can be just as romantic as lovemaking, depending on the connection between those involved. A couple can begin making love and end up fucking or vice-versa. Granted, there are men out there who are all about just getting the pussy and being on his way, but there are also people who know the difference between making love, having sex, and a fuck. The key to a long-lasting, successful relationship is not only knowing the difference but the time and place for all three. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

AVOIDANCE THERAPY

Nov 3, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Protecting our children from harm is an instinct permanently engraved into our subconscious mind. There have been cases where 100 lb., women have lifted cars off children they didn't even know. A parent's protective nature is unparalleled and unrivaled. So why are so many children being injured or killed by avoidable situations? Every time we turn on the television or the news, there's another story about a parent losing a child over something that should've never happened if their parents had been paying attention to where that child was or what they were doing.


     I could give a damn how busy your day is; people can't even leave their home for 20 minutes without their cell phone, so how the fuck can they forget their child's locked in the car for hours at a time? Call me an ass, but I can't really be convinced that's always an accident. What defense can be used to justify leaving or forgetting a child in a car? The media suggests leaving your phone in your back seat with your purse or something else IMPORTANT, so you'll remember your child's in the car. WHAT THE FUCK? That should be the other way around. You expose your child not only to secondhand smoke but with the increase in the use of medical Marijuana, you're also exposing them to contact highs and possible prolonged exposure and addiction as they get older. Why the fuck would anyone think smoking weed in the car with a small child makes sense? It doesn't make sense; it makes you a shitbag of a parent.


     You just bought a brand new car. The latest model with all the options adds on aftermarket wheels, rims, stereo system TV/DVD player and screens in the dash and headrests and new speakers, and no fucking child seat. Whether you see it as an unnecessary waste of money, or you're broke after all that other bullshit you just bought for you car, you'll let your wife, girlfriend or one of your older children sit in the passenger seat, holding your 6-month old son or daughter in their lap. That one time you have to slam on your brakes, and your child's face just slammed into the dash board, or you get into an accident, and the air bag caved their face in from the pressure. Buying rims and a stereo's worth more than your child's' safety!


     After church on Sunday, it's always nice to go out and have a late lunch or dinner during the week. You pile the wife and kids in the car and head to the local chain restaurant for a meal, and you can still watch the game. While waiting for your order, you and your partner have a beer or two and possibly another while eating. With 2 or 3 beers apiece in your system and legally over the limit, you pile everyone back in the car and drive home. Is having that beer really that essential to your meal? If you get stopped and the cop's in a good mood and doesn't want to arrest you in front of your family, neither one of you is legally able to drive. Worst-case scenario, how do you explain the accident you caused because you were more, "Buzzed" than you thought you were? How can you look at your wife or husband at the funeral of one of your children who lost their life because mom and dad wanted to have a beer or 2 with their dinner then drive home?


     A busy parking lot is not the place to let your toddler practice walking on their own. Pick that little fucker up and carry them before they stumble out in front of a car, or while they're stumbling out in front of you, a car hits your kid while backing out of a parking space! Teach your child not to run out in front of the school bus when they get off. True, the law requires motorists to stop and wait until the bus starts moving again, but how many of us have seen people ignore that and speed by the bus anyway? They're busy texting, putting on makeup, or something else occupying their attention. Don't rely on everyone following the law, take some fucking responsibility, and teach your children; there's nothing wrong with doubling up on the safety. Teach your children not to play in the driveway, right behind your car. Before you get in and pull out, take a quick 360-degree check to make sure there's nothing or no one behind your car. it takes less than 30 seconds. The apartment complex parking lot is not a playground or suitable for bike riding or skateboarding.


     If you can afford a pool, you can afford a pool fence. There's no reason to have so many pool drownings every year. If they're swimming or playing in the pool, your eyes should be on that child, not watching online videos, social media, or any of that other shit that takes your attention away. "I only looked away for a second!" Stop lying; it was longer than that! That's a lack of paying attention to where your child is and what they're doing. If you're a child's in the tub, your priority is that fucking bath tub. Fuck the ringing phone. Fuck the doorbell. Fuck whoever's trying to talk to you. Fuck everything that's trying to pull you away from that child in that tub; all that shit can wait.


     It's not the fault or responsibility of a chemical company to change or make products that aren't visually appealing to small children; it's YOUR responsibility to keep an eye on your child, so they don't eat a toilet cake or drink drain cleaner. You sound like a fucking idiot, trying to sue a multi-billion dollar company to change how a product looks, so children won't think they're sweets and try to eat them. Buying a 72" television for your, "Mancave" but you don't have a crib or safety bed for your baby? You have no one to blame but yourself for having such fucked up priorities when you roll over during the night on top of your baby who's sleeping between you and your partner because buying a crib seemed like an expensive and unnecessary purchase.


     Slips, trips, and falls are a part of being a child, but I can't see how a 3-4-year-old can break their arm or leg, "Accidently." Again, a parent has to be pretty absent-minded and not paying attention to something that serious to occur to a child that young. The same goes for plastic bag suffocation; how the fuck can that NOT be seen as avoidable? Stove and heater burns and electric shocks. Your child just stuck something in a light socket. Do you have any idea how hard it actually is to get a shock from a wall outlet? A parent has to seriously not be paying attention or keeping tabs on their child for that to happen.


     Teach your children wrestling is fake, and doing that shit with their younger brother and sister is dangerous and can really hurt them. Teach your children about gun safety ASAP! Don't assume they're too young to understand. If they can grab your phone and get to the online videos by themselves, work the video game system, DVD/Blue-Ray player, etc. they're old enough to be taught that real-life guns aren't like the guns in those video games.


     You let your child leave the house and walk around in public with a toy gun that looks real enough to initiate a possible deadly reaction from the wrong person. You don't know if the person they just jumped out and pointed that gun at is an off-duty officer or combat veteran. Use some fucking discretion and common sense with that shit! Teach them if they come across a gun, point it at someone, and pull the trigger; they won't restart from the last save point or the beginning of the level. Take them out and let them fire a round or 2 to give them an idea of the damage that can be done. Teach them not to mess with a gun in the first place; don't assume your hiding place is 100% secure.


     Children aren't paying attention; that's more your job than theirs or anyone else'. Their eyes are the glue to that fucking phone or tablet, watching whatever. They run into anything and everything; even worse, they're not paying attention, and neither are you. While they're lagging behind you, watching that movie or cartoon, you have no idea who's around, looking for just that type of scenario to take advantage of and snatch your fucking child. You'll take your children to the store, right to the toy department, and tell them to stay there while you shop. What the fuck is wrong with you? Predators scope out the toy and electronics department for lone children playing video games. Blame yourself when they find your child three months later in a shallow grave because you didn't want to deal with them while you shop.


     You let your kids run around like idiots, screaming, running into people, knocking things over, and acting like they have no fucking sense. It's all fun and games until they slip, fall, or slide into something, splitting their head open. Then you want to sue someone. Your kids are overweight because you feed them to keep them out of your hair, or you let THEM tell YOU what you'll feed them. You're too busy or tired to take them to the park to play and burn calories. Watching the game on Sunday is more important. You expose your children to all types of health issues by not instilling healthy eating habits when they're young.


     You allow your children to complete and unsupervised access to the internet. "Respecting their privacy" means more to you than protecting them from online predators. As long as they're quiet and not bothering you, you don't concern yourself with who they may be talking to or texting, which they send nude photos to or receiving them from. You don't know they're possibly planning to meet someone they think is their age, but turns out to be a more sinister situation than their young mind can comprehend.


     Don't blame the child. Don't blame society: the internet, their friends, or the people of the world who mean to do your children harm. Blame yourself. YOU are the first line of defense when it comes to the safety and protection of your children, not matter what age they are. That's your profession; your #1 job. Are you a temporary employee, a part-timer, or career-driven? Your goal should be nothing less than the company CEO.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

LORD OF THE WINGS

Oct 27, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     "The wingman." That one person you can count on to take one for the team. The wingman is an essential addition to any group, whether male or female-dominated. The wingman can come as both a female within a group of men or a man within a group of women. Sexual orientation or gender preference of the wingman means absolutely nothing when it comes to their social function.

A wingman is someone who provides support when approaching or interacting with a potential sexual or romantic partner. A wingman will also help the friend avoid attention from undesirables or to attract desireable candidates.


What is the purpose of the wingman?


1. To provide high-altitude cover for the friend who wants to make a move on someone who caught their attention. Also, to keep the friend aware of their surroundings in case of opposition.


2. Reconnaissance when noticing an opposite-sex couple, unsure if they are just friends or an actual romantic couple. If one notices things, the friend might not be aware of, in the case of being checked out by someone they may not be aware of.


3. As a barrier to prevent the lonely friend from wanting to leave too early because no one's paying attention to them, forcing the more popular, attractive friend from going with her.


     The difference between the wingman and the matchmaker is that the matchmaker's motives are more geared towards the friend's emotional match; they're looking for someone who they believe is a good match in reference to a dating or relationship situation. The matchmaker has taken time to evaluate more than one person and choose a suitable match for their friend. The wingman's job is to assist the lead's goal of reserving and securing an impulsive physical match, based on the present pool of available candidates.


     What are the key responsibilities of the wingman? To back up the pilot, the lead aircraft, not to take the lead. Their job is to do whatever they can to help the lead plane accomplish their mission, no matter how much more skilled or qualified they may be. The mission, or object of attraction may appeal to the wingman, but his duty and obligation are to the lead pilot. The wingman must keep his communication to a minimum when it comes to the main mission; they've had their briefing, and their part of the mission is understood. The wingman responds to the lead plane. The wingman's job is to occupy or destroy the mission's defenses while the lead plane goes in for the strike.


     The wingman doesn't cause problems for the lead pilot or jeopardizes the mission. They stay information; they don't run off or become a burden. They don't get drunk, fight, or try to hook up with the lead's interest. They don't abandon their position in the formation or cockblock for their own gain, nor do they disobey orders and go off on their own to take the lead. The wingman is expected to play his part; no more and no less. Safety and awareness is another responsibility of the wingman. Keeping the lead out of trouble or to advise them to prevent a mistake, dealing with emergencies, or avoid crashing into the side of a mountain. The wingman keeps the lead on target and focused on the mission at hand. They're the second set of eyes for the lead, watching out for bandits that may enter their flight path and disrupt the mission.


Whether the same or opposite sex-driven, the wingman's job is to do whatever he can to ensure the success of the lead's mission. A male wingman will talk his male friend up to make him appear to be the best choice. He occupies the time of her friend to keep the mission right where she is, so they don't leave before getting her phone number or trying to get her to hook up for the night. A female wingman will approach another woman who may be with a man to inquire about their status, without causing friction or any type of confrontation in case they are a couple. A woman will run interference or cause a diversion to allow her girlfriend to avoid unwanted attention or interaction from an undesirable.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ABOUT-FACE

Oct 20, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Believe it or not, everything's not about you. SURPRISE!!


     What you do or say that you may think or see as no big deal may actually be an extinction-level cataclysmic event for someone else. Just because something doesn't bother you doesn't mean it doesn't, wouldn't, or won't affect someone else on a deeper level.


     The worst thing to do is make light of someone else's concern or their feelings about a situation. What's even worse is when the offender uses shady fucking apologies or back-ass statements to blame the offended, instead of taking responsibility and just admitting what they said might have been taken as being fucked up.


     Seeing things as no big deal is selfish. You're so wrapped up in yourself that the possibility of what you did or said could've been just plain old fucked up. You may not agree with it, but your friends or partner was bothered by it, and they respected you enough to approach you and bring it to your attention. You owe it to them to listen, see things from their point of view, and even if you still don't agree after they've made their feelings clear, they deserve the same respect they brought to you. Don't be an asshole and accuse them of being too sensitive. Don't ask your woman if she's on her fucking period. Don't question your man's masculinity; just listen and take what they've said to mind and try to see things from their point of view. Remember, everything's NOT ABOUT YOU!


If you reach down and finger yourself while you're riding your man; unless you know 1000% that turns him on, that's a fucked-up thing to do. You're telling him he's not taking care of business, and you have to do it yourself. You may not agree with it, or see it that way, but, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! You can seriously fuck up a man's self-confidence with that shit. That's no different than if he'd rather watch porn and masturbate instead of having you giving him head. Your head would be so fucked up unless you're one of those obsolete VCR-era women who think sucking dick is demeaning and you'd rather he does it, so you don't have to.


Just because a man enjoys going to the strip club every weekend and he sees nothing wrong with watching other women get naked for his (And your) money, he'll think it's no big deal and say she's jealous for no reason. A man needs pills to get an erection to have sex with his wife or girlfriend but has no issues getting hard for porn. When women discuss their lack of sex or relationship issues with their girlfriends, he wants anal sex, and he'll make her feel like shit for not being into it. When your partner brings these issues to your attention, shut the fuck up and listen; don't just pacify them by sitting there, waiting for them to finish talking so you can get back to watching the game. Pay attention to what they're saying, instead of planning your defense or what you're going to say to insult them for how they feel. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!


Who cares if Mike an Laurie are swingers? You're not Mike, and she's not Laurie. She doesn't want other people in your bed. She doesn't like her hair pulled. He doesn't like it when you pinch and twist his nipples. You think it's cute to rub his belly in front of your friends and call him, "Cute/chubby" names. Every time he asks you not to do that, you do it right then and there, giggle about it. You'll call him, "Too sensitive" Let's see if you feel the same way the day he gets pissed, jiggles your belly in front of your girlfriends, and asks where you keep the peanut butter for all that jelly.


She doesn't swallow. You know she doesn't, so you think it's fucking funny not to warn her and shoot your load in her mouth. Or you say some shit like, "If you really loved me, you'd do it." Making comments about how it's no big deal, and she should be glad to do it because there's plenty of women out there who would. We'll get one asshole; IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! Men will get shitty when their woman doesn't even discuss the possibility of a threesome. Hell, they can't even satisfy one woman, let alone 2. On the flip side, she may be intrigued by the thought of bringing another woman in the mix. What a man doesn't realize is when/if a woman brings that option to fruition, IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM! His pleasure or benefit from the situation is most likely going to purely visual. The truth is most times when a woman brings another woman into her bed; it's about HER and that other woman; assuming you're going to do participate makes you an idiot.


Have respect for each other. If your woman spends 2 hours getting ready for a romantic, sensual night of dinner and dancing, Leave the "Gangster gear" at home. Put on a nice shirt and pants, and pull them up to where supposed to be. Take your fucking sunglasses off. Leave your phone on silent and enjoy being with each other. Turn it around; step out of the soccer-mom side of the closet and put on that tight, black dress that shows off your curves and cleavage. When your partner comes at you and asks you to dress up once in a while, you OWE it to them. "Keeping it real," or, "I want to be comfortable" is fine, but it's not always about you, it's about respecting and representing your partner to the best of your ability. Yes, they love you but don't embarrass them or yourself by walking into an upscale restaurant, wearing skinny jeans or accompanying your man to his corporate Christmas party, and being the only woman wearing flats, slacks, and a tucked-in polo shirt, instead of a fancy dress and heels.


She can never ask a hypothetical question without his thinking she's talking about him/them. He can't even mention the thought of getting a gym membership for both of them. She can't initiate or ask for a change in their sex life because he'll assume he's doing good enough, so why change what works. If he tries out a new position, she'll wonder where the Mississippi fuck he got that idea from. (Probably from another bitch!)


IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! Sometimes, an explanation or elaboration isn't necessary. Sometimes, just an apology or acknowledgment that you heard the other person when they tell you they were bothered by something that was said or done. Where it gets fucked up is when the offender tries to shift this action from them to insult the offended. Just shut the fuck up and listen. Keep your dumb fucking fake-ass apologies to yourself.


- I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY - Translation: I'm sorry you're a powder-fresh freak who can't take a joke. I'll try to handle your fragile ass with kid gloves form now on.


- I APOLOGIZE IF YOU TOOK IT THAT WAY - Translation: You misunderstood me when I said you couldn't get on top anymore because it feels like you gain 30 pounds.


- I SAID, BUT I MEANT - Translation: I said your fat rolls smell like bacon grease, but I meant let's take a sexy shower together and make love.


- YOU'RE NOT FAIR - Translation: Sarah swallows for Dave, you should do the same for me. Are you telling me You don't love me as much as She loves him?


- YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE - Translation: I said or did something fucked up, and I'm not going to admit it was fucked up, so I'm just going to blame you for taking it fucked up.


- IS IT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH? - FUCK YOU!


- I'M SORRY YOU MISUNDERSTOOD - Translation: You may have a PhD. in language arts from a well-respected Ivy League school, but for some reason, you took me the wrong way when I said your breath smells like you've been eating ground ass-burgers.


- YOU PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THAT - Translation: Damn, you WERE listening to me!


- I DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY YOU TOOK IT. Translation: I meant it EXACTLY the way you took it; I was just hoping you wouldn't take it the way I said it.


- YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW WHAT I MEAN - Translation: I can't speak intelligently. My vocabulary is fucking limited.


- YOU'RE DRAMATIC - Translation: You're a fucking crybaby. Do I need to powder your ass before I change your diaper, or can you do it by yourself?


- IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL - Translation: IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!


- YOU HAVE A LOT OF HANGUPS - Translation: Are you REALLY going to call me out on ALL the fucked shit I say or do? Are you trying to make me a better person or something?


IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! You'll sit down with someone to tell them you've just been diagnosed with a heart condition, and they'll manage to turn into a 20-minute conversation about the new leather couch they just bought. They'll tune out any part of a conversation that doesn't interest or involve them. Women will complain to their men about their lack of communication, but what she REALLY wants is for him to say as little as possible to facilitate her talking about herself for as long as fucking possible.


Men tend to be more dismissive and selfish when it comes to sharing the spotlight. They want a full-time cheerleader but will offer part-time hours when it comes to reciprocation. Men take constructive criticism or direction far more personally. Any attempt to deviate from their normal sexual routine will be met with defiance and resistance, unless it's spun to where it's made to be HIS idea, instead of hers, much almost everything else. When in conversation or disagreement, just because you've said what you wanted to say doesn't mean the conversation has ended. It's fucked up for you walk away, leaving the other person unable to make their point or respond, just because you're not going to like what they have to say.


Don't be an ass, if you don't know at least one person who behaves like everything's about them, then take a look in the mirror, because YOU'RE THAT PERSON. Share the conversation, the spotlight. Not every suggestion or idea of improvement is a direct insult or criticism to you, your beliefs, habits, or personality. Not many people put effort into staging a carefully planned amphibious assault on your manhood or sexual performance, just because your partner wants to try a new position or doesn't feel comfortable doing something you want. Don't be a dick and point out the fact that none of your ex's had an issue with doing it. Don't be shitty to your man when tells you he doesn't like it when you talk to your male best friend about your relationship problems. These are your friends, your family, your partner, and they deserve to be heard, respected, and their feelings deserve your full consideration. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

BLANK CHECK

Oct 13, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Revisiting the concept of Biomechanics vs. Biochemistry, we have to look at how men are more obvious and less concerned about being caught or noticed when checking out a woman. Don't for one second think or believe women don't check men out just as much; they're just better, faster, and more discreet about it. Men and women check each other out equally, but differently and for different reasons altogether. Men are definitely more obvious, hoping to catch her attention. To him, that's his first signal that he may be interested. Women check men out more for admiration purposes, but it can also be a signal to him as well.


     A woman may be too shy or believe a man should make the first move, but she'll make it known she wants him to make that first move, based on the way she looks at him and her body language. On the other hand, she can also use the exact same tactics to let him know he has absolutely no chance, so he shouldn't waste his time. It's not that she's rude; she' actually doing you a favor by keeping you from looking or feeling humiliated when she turns you down when you approach her.


     We all know the first things men check out are an ass, boobs, legs, then her face. Men check out women and decide his sexual attraction to her before much of anything else. Women work in reverse. She'll check out how good-looking he is, then his body, physique, his butt, and then she'll do the little-known, but regularly performed, "Crotch check." Most men are unaware that women do this because they're so quick about it; plus, they know men are too preoccupied staring at their chest or mouth to even notice. Some men aren't in the least bit worried or bothered if a woman even notices him looking down her top or dress while talking to her; for some reason, they actually believe it's a compliment. They really don't care if they get caught; some are even creepy as hell about it. Women normally don't want or choose to be so obvious, even if she's interested. Women check out a man's other areas on purpose, but the crotch check is most likely subconscious.


     It's highly unlikely she can actually see anything unless he's wearing sweats or shorts. Or maybe he's hanging out the bottom of his shorts at the gym. But they still look for whatever reason. It's not for sexual reasons either; a woman checks out a man to gauge his personal and possible emotional compatibility. She'll make a pre-judgment on his personality based on his looks, which will spark her interest in approaching him or giving him a chance if he happens to approach her.


     Men check out women for physical attraction; they check out her body first, then her face. Her personality runs farther down the line of importance than they want to admit or realize. As long as she's hot enough to get high-fives from his friends or sex for the night, his standards in her looks will diminish as the evening does on; by the end of the night, as long as she's decent enough to fuck, he's fine with that. Sex or winning the attention and interest in the hottest woman in the room is his main focus. For women, it's in reverse; she'll check a man out in an attempt to gauge his personality, what type of man he is, and if he appears worthy of an opportunity to get to know her or to put any interest in him. Men base sexual chemistry on looks; women will base attraction and mental/emotional chemistry. She'll believe she can tell if he's a good guy by the way he looks and interacts with the rest of the room. If he's on the hunt as soon as he walks in the door, she'll dismiss him. If he seems to be out to unwind or enjoy his evening, she'll be more intrigued to observe him for a while longer.


     Men will see/check out a woman and go for her ASAP; he knows at least 30%-60% of all the other men in the room are also checking her out, planning their opening move. It becomes a race or extreme obstacle course-type event to get to her before anyone else. Women are more patient and far more observant of how he behaves and reacts to any other woman who does approach him. Even if by chance, he shows interest in someone else, how he interacts with her will not affect her interest in him, as long as it still seems like a "Good guy." A woman will observe and take her time approaching him or giving him a signal of interest.


     Sometimes men and women can and will check each other out and not even realize it. It's like a force of habit or subconscious action. Imagine being at the grocery store, and a man buys condoms. If the cashier's a female, she'll sneak a glance at his package, just because he's buying large-sized condoms. If he's male and the customer's a female, buying a bra with large cup size, he'll instinctively check out her tits. It's not sexual; it's just something that happens. Where people get their heads fucked up is when they mistake a friendly glance, a crotch check, or a simple, "Good morning" as something more than it is. A look or greeting doesn't automatically translate to a signal of interest; a greeting or a smile could be just that, and nothing more. Men, much more than women, will take such a simple gesture and turn it into something ridiculous and WAY off-key.


     Being patient and taking things as how they are can and will sometimes be a wakeup call for both men and women. They may realize they're attracted to something they never gave much thought to until that moment. They may have been exclusive to dating or showing interest in one particular race or ethnic group, but the right person could walk through the door and catch their eye. Size, body shape, height, weight, etc. Especially as people get older, they may have been burned over and over again by the same types of people for so long. After a while, they've started to notice and find themselves attracted to something totally outside their normal realm, especially as they get older and more mature.


     People will make slight changes to what they're attracted to as they get older. Reality will set in, and the things that were important to us when we were younger will seem not only out of reach but downright silly and no longer reasonable. A middle-aged older woman will still check out younger men, but for the most part, she knows a 25-year-old man isn't interested in a serious relationship with a 50-year-old woman unless it's for sex or money. Men will check out a much younger woman and honestly believe she's flattered by his creepy looks. He'll be convinced she wants nothing more than to be his woman. 


     Reality sets in for women much faster than men; they recognize their boundaries and capabilities far sooner. They'll adjust their expectations, interests, and approaches to fit each man they check out or interact with. Men are too entitled to think they may be the reason why they aren't getting the attention they feel they deserve.


     How we check each other out is actually funny if we pay attention to it. For women, it's a process of elimination to where they sit back and allow men to eliminate themselves by their own actions. For men, it's a race against time, age, opportunity, luck, and every other swinging dick in the room.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

TRADITIONAL INDEPENDENCE

Sept 29, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     Tradition versus independence. This is a recipe that can only end in chaos. Not necessarily right from the beginning, but the warm flow of tradition will eventually meet the cooler, spiraling flow of independence, and that's how tornadoes are formed — one of the natures' most damaging and devastating disasters.


     The down and dirty truth; women, want a traditional man when it benefits her agenda. She wants him to drive, pay, and even give chase or pursue her and earn her trust and opportunity to get to know her before she even lifts a finger to return the effort. She thinks she deserves and will even demand he proves himself and his interest before she shows hers. A traditional man will temporarily support the independent nature while they get to know each other. After a while, he'll become more and more confused by the contradictions between her words and her actions/expectations. The mix of personalities may work for a short time and even graduate into a relationship, but rest assured, its course will run out very shorty.


     The independent woman will see his expectations as a way to control her and rob her of her identity and individuality. She'll accuse him of trying to change her into some back in the day house slave. She'll accuse him of wanting her, "Barefoot and pregnant" and totally dependent on him, even though he hasn't given her the slightest idea to think that way. A woman will fail to see his point of view or even consider meeting him halfway. A traditional man will get frustrated because the independent woman is unable or unwilling to take on a more submissive role in their relationship. He'll see her independence as disrespect and a direct attack to his masculinity. His traditional nature will cause him to insult her femininity and send him looking for someone on the side who'll satisfy his need to be the undisputed king of the castle.


     Women will want a man to support and encourage her independence without question with one hand and with the other, criticize his lack of chivalry if he looks to her to be all in with her independence. On a 1st date, she'll expect him to drive and ay, but won't give it a second thought if he disn't open her door, pull out her chair, or wait until she has her food before he begins to eat. A man will pretend to support and be in favor of her claims of independence, but will internally grow more and more impatient and irritated by her unwillingness to adapt a more traditonal female role. Her, "Alpha female" mentaloty will annoy the fuck out of him and eventually send him looking in other places for someone more campatible to his preferences.


     She'll claim he doesn't respect her; he'll say she's close-minded. She'll tell hime it's not the 1950's anymore. He'll tell her she'll never find a man because she's already the best man she'll ever meet. She'll call him a control freak and a bully; he'll accuse her of being hung up on how her ex treated her. She'll say he's afraid of or can't hand;e a strong woman; he'll tell her she doesn't konw what it means to be a lady. He'll want her to dress sexy; she'll see it as him wanting her to be seen as slutty. She'll ask him to hold her purse while she ties her shoe. He'll say no, but tie her shoe for her. He won't let her take the lead and pull him through a crowd or take the lead if they're dancing.


      There's nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date, but she won't. She think it's a man's place is to make the first move; to show his interest, and to earn her time. She'll ask him for HIS number, but will refuse to be the first to call. If he doesn't after a few days, she'll dismiss and delete him. Being traditional, a man will take the initiative and make the first call. He'll make a normal effort to show his interest, but will get frustrated by her entitlement. Her constant reminders of her independence, coupled with her daily expectation of having to earn her time or conversation, will annoy him, and he'll make her a side chick while he finds someone else.


     He has an issue with her independence. She has an issue with his expectations. The mere mention fo the word,"Submissive" will send her into a whirlwind,, about equal rights and how she's no man's slave or how she won't be controlled by ANY man. Her preaching about how she doesn't need a man for shit will be met with him using her independence as a shield. He'll, "Leave his wallet at home" and look for her to pay when they go out. He'll stop calling her all the time, and soon after, the relationship will fade to black. Because of their differences, they'll turn everything into an ERA debate. He'll see it his role to grill the steaks and her role to make the salad or sides. She'll feel like he trying to put her in her place. If she grills, he'll refuse to make the salad if he feels she's challenging him.


      Sex will be their downfall. They won't see eye to eye on expectations or boundaries. He'll want her to be more adventurous, bt she'll take it as him being disrespectful or trying to treat her like a whore or slut. She may be the more aggressive one and she he'll take it as emasculating, stepping out of plce, or a seige for powere in the relationship. She may use sex as a form of manipulation and he'll get bored because she refuses to try anything new.


      She'll use sex not as a punishment, but as a reward for good behavior; He'll get frustrated and find someone sexually submissive. She'll find a guy with absolutely nothing going for him except for good sex and she'll treat him like shit, because she knows he won't stand up for himself if fear of losing his meal ticket. When the traditional man gets his first taste of a submissive partner, he'll turn 180 degrees and his sexual Pandora's box will open and unleash all his supressed sexual fantasies on her. He'll bring that new mentality to the independent woman and fuck her every which way from Sunday, breaking her independence like a wild horse. Some women will make their own 180 degree turn, but by then, it'll be too late for her; his submissive will become his main girl, and the independent woman will become his side piece.


     Other than his own children, The traditional man will keep his values and ideas to himself. He'll train his son to be traditional and his daughter to demand respect, but to maintain a more feminine role. Women will not only preach independence to her family and friends, she'll do the samem to her co-workers. Especially if she's giving advice to anyone having relationship issues. She'll go so far as to preach empowerment at work, in her social groups, even to strangers who may not even have asked or wanted to hear what she had to say. The traditional man will allow other men to be who they are. Even though they may comment on his behavior under his breath or to his friends


     Independence versus tradition. Who's right? Who's wrong? Is there room for compromise? Nope, not even an inch. There's not point in even getting involved with this situation. It's waste of time and energy. Its only reward may be good sex for a while, but anything other than that is a powder keg, just waiting for the fuse to light.


~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

AFTER MARKET

Sept 22, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     You sound stupid when you talk shit about your ex after breaking up. Hell, it doesn't even have to be an ex; it could be the end of a friendship. You sound especially stupid when you're criticizing something you gave credit for when you were together. The only reason you're doing it now is that you're angry, hurt, or humiliated. You're not fooling anyone; you're just hung up on what happened that caused the end of the friendship or relationship; or you're the guilty party, trying to deflect the fact that YOU fucked up and now everyone knows you fucked up.


     You sound like a moron when you're talking shit about someone and how they were when you were together. When things were good, you couldn't stop praising their behaviors or quirks; now that you're not, the same things you gave them credit for is now a reason you couldn't stand them. Men will enjoy every single freak nasty thing his woman did and would do for him; all he had to do was ask. Some of that shit she did on her own, knowing it made him feel like a king as well as satisfied her fantasies. After breaking up, he'll insult her, calling her a nasty bitch or a slut. She wasn't a slut when you were together, so why now? Because all that, "Good-good" freak nasty shit she did for you, she's doing it for another man; possibly one who appreciates her WAY more than what you did.


     There's an old saying," Don't get pissed when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. You didn't appreciate what you had when you had it, and now someone else does. That's why you felt the need to yell out, "I taught that slut everything she knows!" I doubt it because you're the one talking shit, not her.

To praise someone for trying their best when you're together, then to turn around and chastize them after the end makes you an asshole; plain and simple. Tracy always thought Mike's stance on being non-violent and walking away from a physical confrontation was mature and admirable when they were together. She praised him for walking away even if provoked. Now that they're not together he's was always a "Little bitch" who wouldn't or couldn't stand up for himself.


     A woman will tell her man he doesn't need to work out because she likes him, "Fluffy. After their break up, she'll call him lazy and complain that all he did was sit in front of the TV or play video games. She'll use that to justify why she left him for someone more fit. A man will tell his woman he thinks she's beautiful and still just as sexy as when they first met, even after the 30-pounds weight gain. But will call her "Fat" after the breakup. People will harp and complain about not wanting to go out; instead, staying in and enjoy being with each other, but after the breakup, she'll bitch that he never took her anywhere or he's going out every weekend, now that he's, "Single and looking to mingle."


     People will take the exact same things they admired about someone, and at the drop of a hat, use it as a crutch to talk shit about after a falling out, even in friendships. Jane's always the life of the party; everywhere she goes, guys are hitting or her; she can party like no one's business, and drink like a fish. After Becky finds out her boyfriend has a thing for Jane, Becky will talk so much shit about how much of a slut Jane is; and rest assured, sooner or later it's going to get back to Jane. Jimmy prefers having a healthy savings account, living moderately in case of a rainy day. His choice to not indulge in impulse shopping and habit of saving instead of spending was something Amanda found impressive in a man his age and high-income level. After the breakup, her first complaint was that he never had any fun or bought her anything.


     People act this way to rationalize the end of a friendship or relationship. They place blame or fault with the other person, instead of taking responsibility for what THEY may have done to cause the split. It's a deflection tactic; a way to make themselves appear to be an innocent victim. Why do people feel the need to make excuses or bad mouth someone because things didn't work out? Pride. Pride because your relationship failed. Fear of being humiliated because you were the cause of the split and you don't want to face it. Anger because you couldn't talk your way out of it. Revenge because you got hurt or you made yourself look stupid. The funny thing is no matter how much shit you talk about the other person, all you're doing is shortening the chances of reconciliation. If all you have left to say about someone is stupid shit, think about how stupid you sound when you're talking shit. 


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SOUL SURVIVOR

Sept 2, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Knowing and understanding the difference between "Soul food" and, "Slave food" has been a subject of debate and controversy for as long as I can remember. Slave food refers to what slaves had to live on in order to survive; after the slave owners were fed, the scraps of food that were left, thrown away, or the parts of the animal that were picked over. Soul food refers to food prepared in grease, lard, and animal fat. The slave owner kept healthier, more nutritional foods for themselves, making it impossible for slaves to eat healthily. What most people don't realize or want to admit is that the slaves prepared the food for the owners and even though they ate what was considered healthier food, it was still prepared as, "Soul food." It was deep-fried, saturated in animal fat, extremely high in cholesterol, and so on.


     Pig's feet. Pig ears. "Chitlins." These foods and style of cooking and eating were born from necessity and survival, not historical significance or tradition. For those who make it an issue of race, slaves were NOT exclusive to blacks, but anyone of any race or ethnicity who was viewed as being owned or indentured to or by another human being. If you were a slave, you were treated, and you ate as a slave, no matter your skin color.


     With the availability of the same types of food and nutritional options our ancestors were denied, why do we continue to consume so much of the same hazardous shit they were forced to eat out of survival? Tradition? Heritage? Why do we criticize those people who realize this food and the way it's prepared is killing us, slowly but surely?


     Black people believe we're destined to be overweight by design and being bigger is a sign of being healthy and able to afford to feed ourselves well. We were taught the same unhealthy eating habits our parents were taught by their parents. We believe we're more prone to a higher percentage of body mass than white people, which is why they float and make better swimmers, and we sink. This is an absolute lie! We are a larger people by nature and design, but that's not an excuse or does it justify how shitty we cook the garbage we eat. It doesn't excuse being overweight or the issues associated with how and what we choose to shove in our faces. Again, this isn't directed predominantly to blacks; we see the exact same issues within the Latino communities.


     There's a difference between thick and curvy versus overweight and obese. We fool ourselves and try to deceive others by using curvy to avoid admitting obesity. We'll use phrases like, "Big-boned" to rationalize how shitty we prepare food we see as, "Traditional" to our ethnicity; the slave food we continue to eat, but now we do it as a delicacy, not for survival. We may not be prone to being small or dainty, but we're also not meant to be as big as hell or unhealthy. Big black women aren't better cooks than small white women, nor do they deny their men food, just because he's not a bigger man.


     Food should fuel your body, not fill you up to where you have to unbutton your pants after eating. We make fun of eating so much crap food that it makes us sleepy or doesn't have the drive or desire to do anything but sleep or sit on our asses. You're tired and immobile because of the ridiculous strain you're putting on your body to digest all that horrible prepared garbage you just ate. There's absolutely no recognized medical condition known as, "The Itis."


     The food you eat isn't a matter of heritage or tradition. It doesn't make you who you are or what your background is. What you shove in your belly isn't a reflection of your ethnic pride or lack thereof. Food isn't limited to a specific race, skin color, or background. Its origin may have begun in a specific area, but it isn't yours to claim or assume ownership of. Black people will talk shit about another person for not wanting to poison themselves with unhealthy food or foods prepared in a shitty fashion. The fact of the matter would be in this modern time if we were still limited to, "Slave food," we'd be up in arms, trying to march, protest, and fight for the right for the same types of food everyone else had access to. Why are we still feeding on the same unhealthy survival food when better choices are available?


     In the lower-income communities, opportunity and access to more nutritional choices are limited, but that's when healthier preparation and an active lifestyle can be substituted to lower the health risks of an unhealthy diet. Planting yourself in front of the television after a big meal, instead of going for a short walk allows all the grease and fat you just consumed to settle into your system and wreak havoc on your body. Healthy hydration. Water isn't evil, regardless of what your children tell you; 3-4 heaving cups of extra sugar per pitcher of pre-sweetened juice powder or iced tea. Extra salt. Would you like some salad with your dressing? Fry less, bake more.


     It's hard to feed your family fruit juice when you're paying $5 per gallon when 2 liters of soda is only $.80. Fruit instead of cookies. Crackers instead of chips. Water instead of soda. We let our children tell us what they're going to eat and what you're going to prepare for them, instead of telling them what they're going to eat. Let them get hungry enough; they'll eat those carrot sticks and be thankful. Limit alcohol intake; two words, "Beer belly."


     Just because soul food is accepted as a cuisine, doesn't make it a healthy one; nor does it identify or correlate to a person's sense of history or tradition. Someone's disgust or reluctance to eat pig's feet or pig ears, "Chitlins" or deep-fried foods doesn't justify criticizing their, "Blackness" or accuse them of, "Forgetting where they come from." They know exactly where they come from; that's why they're not cooking or eating that shit, because they know where it's going. High blood pressure. Diabetes. High cholesterol. Hypertension. Heart disease. Heart attack and stroke. Take your pick.


     We want what we can't have; as long as it's available, we don't want it. If the time ever came where black/Latino people were told the only thing they were allowed to eat were unhealthy foods, cooked in bullshit, we'd take to the streets. Riots. Protests. Marches; you name it. We'd fight tooth and nail for the right to have access to the same foods, "White people" had access to. Funny how we don't want it because we CAN have it. We'd be up in arms about equality; we'd shout racism and bigotry. We'd fight tooth and nail for access to the same healthy foods we run from and pass by every time we go grocery shopping.


     The same thing happens in the Latin community. Along with those who don't speak Spanish, Latinos will criticize and condemn their own because they choose not to indulge in the unhealthy preparation and consumption of what's considered, "Traditional" Mexican food. Refried beans, cooked in pure fat and smothered in sour cream, covered with heavy cheeses. Deep or pan-fried tortillas. Meats soaked in grease and insanely spiced. Culturally, a smaller Mexican man's family will criticize his wife or significant other and accuse her of not being a good wife or woman; they see that man as not being fed properly, based on his size. "Mexican men are supposed to be big!"


      Slave food. Soul food. Survival vs. choice. Slave food was a necessity, a method of survival. Soul food is a choice; better quality and more nutritious, but prepared in a shitty way by our own free will. Slave food is a part of our history and heritage, but NOT a lifestyle to be continued under a shield of tradition and, "Blackness." It's not a foundation of our current culture, and it doesn't make anyone less worthy of their racial or ethnic identity. Don't criticize or confuse what was once our only option with availability and free will. Putting a negative label on someone's pride in their race or skin color just because they don't want to eat shit they know is unhealthy doesn't mean they've turned their back on their history; if we can't learn from the mistakes of our past, we're on track to repeat the same shit going forward into our future.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DATING SEASON

July 27, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Dating used to be so much easier back in the day; when the most pressing concerns and questions now seem so trivial. Where to go? What to wear? How, when, and where to ask, and if you have enough money? Making sure you could get the car for that night before your older brother or sister beat you to it. The concerns had shifted from wondering when and if it was okay to hold hands, put your arm around her waist, or go in for that first kiss. Now, it's about whether or not you're going to fuck tonight.


     Instead of just having a good time and enjoying each other's company, men are so focused on the endgame. Women are on high alert against every guy, thinking he's a player or has a hidden agenda. They'll set parameters and boundaries, sabotaging the date before it even starts or ends. Women have it set in their minds that no matter how well it goes, she doesn't kiss on the first date. Men will lose all interest in seeing her again if he doesn't receive a certain amount of physical or sexual contact. You think a movie's a bad idea for a first date because you can't talk or get to know each other. Here's a radical idea; instead of rushing into a first date, instead of texting back and forth, how about picking up the fucking phone and having an actual conversation? How about asking questions? How about showing interest during conversations, instead of just pretending to get to the first date or get to sex? That way, the idea of a movie doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Besides, you can always talk AFTER the movie, or the next day, or the day after that. Did that ever cross your mind? Most movies are only 90-105 minutes long.


     Coffee's fucking boring and can be taken as a hidden insult. When meeting from an online dating site, one of the most popular first suggestions is coffee. The reason being is that it puts a short time frame on how much time you spend with each other; plus it furnishes an easy escape at the first sign of incompatibility. The thought of one or both of you may be nervous and say or do something out of nervousness will instantly be dismissed as a red flag, turning your focus from allowing them to recover from an honest mistake to make a quick exit, which has now consumed your attention.


     Even if the date ends with an invitation to spend the night doesn't mean every date will end with sex; however, don't act shitty if the other person expects sex at the end of the next date. It's all about how you put yourself out there and how you communicate the type of person you are. Be honest about what you're looking for. She may NOT be the slut you think she is, just because she invited you to stay the night, and he's not the player you think he is because he accepted. The two of you may have had such intense physical chemistry that it was a natural result of your attraction to each other. Just take it for what it is/was and work it out from there.


What happened to just going out and having a good time? Why waste time to take someone out, just to sit there texting, checking sports scores, watching videos, updating social media, or just not talking? Granted, there's nothing wrong with a period of silence, especially if having a meal because no one wants to be sitting across from someone, trying to carry on a conversation with a mouthful of food. You don't need to take a picture of everything you're eating or video of who else is in the building and what they're doing.


     Why take someone out for an evening of live music or dancing, just to stare and check out other men or women, looking for someone that may be more your type? Just in case it's a slow night and there's nothing else biting? Why are you pointing out how cute or silly someone else looks dancing? Why are you so concerned with how goofy someone else looks doing whatever, instead of paying attention to the person you're out with? "People-watching,"? That's nothing more than sitting on your ass, watching others live their life and enjoy themselves.


     No one approaches anyone anymore unless supercharged by the fuel of alcohol or the goal of sex. Holding on to expecting a man to approach is unrealistic in this day and time. Online is the new norm. Is it because we've lost the ability to speak to someone like we have some sort of sense, without trying out a bunch of bullshit pick up lines, or working our, "Game"? Or is it easier for us to accept rejection when it's not facing to face? More people are giving out social media info, instead of that fly-by-night idea of exchanging phone numbers and actually using them. Picking up the phone and having an actual conversation is having a pet Centaur in your backyard that feeds on Ambrosia salad.


     Trying to date 3-4 people at once, thinking you don't want all your eggs in one basket; it doesn't give much time or opportunity to really spend with or get to know any of them on any deeper level past the basic shit.


     What happened to just having fun and enjoying a date? People stress themselves over making the right impression to either turn it into a relationship or getting ass at the end of the night. There shouldn't be any pressure to make a perfect or false impression, just to seem more desirable. If there's no spark or chemistry, so be it. If there IS chemistry, allow things to progress organically, don't push yourself or your date into moving too fast. Keep an open mind; don't just assume someone has an ulterior motive, but don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to change someone who has a dealbreaker you can't get past. If it doesn't work out, don't take it personally; every first date isn't going to lead to a love connection. Relax, it's just a date. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DEAD END

July 21, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Dealing with death is something we all have to face sooner or later. Not just our own, but the death of friends and family. Even the death of complete strangers. Mass shootings, acts of terrorism, death in combat, accidents, and so on. Death is one of only a small handful of undeniable guarantees in life, and none of them have the ability to affect us on such a large scale than the guarantee of death.


     While some see the birth of a new life as a time or reason to celebrate and rejoice, others see it as a time to mourn. The sad truth is that as soon as we're born, we begin to decay, we start dying. As morbid and insensitive as that may sound, it's true. Many cultures around the world share the same belief. Some see death as a bridge to something else, something better than the life we have on this earth, while others see it as nothing more than the end of individual biological function.


     Why the philosophical introduction? Because with so much death going on in the world we can't do a damn thing about, there's one aspect of death that can be influenced and possibly diverted; when someone decides to take their own life.


     No one wants to imagine that phone call or walking through the front door to find out someone close to us has not only passed on, but their lives were cut short by their own doing. One of the first questions people will ask after the initial shock would be, "Why?" Depression. Mental issues. Impulse. Cries for help. Trauma. Bullying. Drugs. Self-image. Unemployment/finances. Loneliness. Relationship/breakup. Terminal illness. Take your pick. The holidays are the worst. Thanksgiving and Christmas is the time when the highest number of suicides take place, especially in high-stress jobs like law enforcement, public service, and military. These jobs also carry some of the highest divorce rates in the country.


     While I understand the pain of loss and the initial shock of learning a friend of mine took his life, I couldn't help but to be pissed off. I realize when people decide that ending their lives may seem like their only recourse, I find it to be an excruciatingly shitty and selfish thing to do. No thought is given to the family and loved ones left behind. The friends of those loved ones having to deal with their grief and loss and dealing with the details of their death, the funeral arrangements, the pain of cleaning their room or home. The act of leaving someone to deal with the stages of grief and loss is such a fucked-up thing to do when all they had to do was ask for help.


     As most of us have been told or taught, dealing with death comes in stages.


- Shock and denial. Upon hearing the news, it's natural to deny the actual reality of loss. The initial shock provides a shield against being over-emotional and lashing out at the wrong people.


- Pain and guilt. It's important to experience the pain of loss without using negative coping tools, like alcohol or drugs. Don't avoid feeling pain by burying yourself in work or other things that may take away from dealing. Guilt from feeling you could've done something to prevent the tragedy. There also may be guilt from not saying I love you, etc.


- Anger and bargaining. Lashing out or blaming others. Bargaining with God to bring them back in exchange for changes in your own habits and behavior.


- Depression and reflection. No one can tell you how to grieve; no one can tell you how long it should take to heal or get over your individual sense of loss. Realize your level of loss. People isolate themselves to reflect on a life spent with loved ones.


- The recovery Phase. This is where things start to calm down, and the road to returning to normal begins. Depression starts to fade.


- Rebuilding. Your comfort and ability to function without your loved one returns.


- Acceptance and hope. The final stage. You've accepted the loss. You've dealt with the other stages, and you think of them without pain or sadness. Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean happiness.


     Why would you put somebody else through all that? Why would anyone be so selfish as to wish that type of suffering and grief to their loved ones? You'd be making others feel the exact same way you feel, the difference being they don't need to escape in the same manner as you. It's not only selfish, but it ruins the memory of the deceased. Imagine the emotional toll it would take on someone after realizing they love you for the person you are/were but hate you for what you put them through. Think about how shitty they'll feel carrying that along with the other emotions experienced with your death.


     The reason I outlined the stages of death was hopefully to alert someone to what they leave behind when they CHOOSE to end their life. It may not mean much to them, but hopefully knowing the impact they leave behind may either convince them to seek help or realize there are people who care about them, who would grieve over them — understanding what a self-initiated premature death would do to everyone who stands at their funeral, watching that casket lower into the ground, wondering what they could've done to prevent this tragedy.


     Keeping in mind that a large number of suicides that result in actual death are accidents. The truth is that many suicides are more attempts than intentional acts; cries for attention or for help gone horribly wrong. Not to say there aren't people in the world who sincerely want to end their life, depending on their reason. When someone has decided there's no other option; death seems like the perfect solution. It's not because they WANT to die, it's because, in their mind, there's nothing else for them, nowhere to go, no one to turn to. It doesn't matter if a person has 20 friends, loving families they can turn to. The thought of being alone is so strong; they believe none of them could possibly understand how they feel.


     How do I know this? Because I've been there. I've thought about it, more than once. I've held a gun to my head. I've had pills in my hand, I've contemplated the sharp 90-degree turn that flips the car, or swerving into oncoming traffic. I've asked myself, "Who would care? Who would even miss me?" I've personally been so low I didn't think there was any other recourse than to end my own life. Did I actually WANT to die? I can't answer that; I don't know. Did I care or even give thought to what or who I'd be leaving behind? No. I never gave any concern to those who'd have to pick up the pieces and not only deal with my death but the decision to die by my own hands.


     I wanted to end my life because I was in a place I couldn't seem to crawl my way out of. I allowed myself to be influenced into think I wasn't worth having anyone in my life. I had no job, no money, no car, and with one foot from being homeless. I wanted to end my life because the decisions I made in my past finally caught up to me, and dropped like a hammer. Later in life, I'd found myself in the same boat again, this time with a series of illnesses that caused me to be unemployed again and even lower than before.


     How does one spot the warning signs someone's contemplating suicide? They come out and talk about it. They have increased drug or alcohol use. Online searches for ways to do it. They begin isolating themselves from friends, family, social groups, etc. They sleep too much or not enough. They may blurt out words of affection or say, "I love you" out of the blue. They begin saying their goodbyes and giving away prized or meaningful possessions. Aggression. Irritability. Easily ashamed or humiliated.


     First of all, EVERY sign should be taken seriously. Second, If you find out someone you know has those thoughts, don't TELL them to get help, TAKE them to get help. It's not your job to criticize or preach. If you don't know where to go, find the nearest church, police officer, firefighter, teacher, counselor, stranger, mail-carrier, or even the guy is pushing carts at the grocery store. SOMEONE will get you to the right people. Just because you're having these thoughts don't make you, "Crazy" You're just in a place in your life where you may need to be reminded you're worth having around and your presence will be missed.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

OPENING DAY

July 14, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     Your sex is good, but lately, the desire to take it to the next level has been a source of curiosity for some time. The problem is she was raised to believe anything outside of what's thought of as, "Traditional/Normal" made her a dirty slut. He doesn't want to do or say the wrong thing and get himself in hot water. There's nothing wrong with wanting to add a little something extra to your sex life. Whether you're single or in a relationship, the first thing you need to do is understand that the choices you make when it comes to how and what you want sexually should be respected and honored. Be honest with yourself and your partner if you have one.


     As I've preached over and over and over again, communication is key; especially when trying to introduce a new dynamic into your sex life. Just because one person wants to add more fuel to the fire, doesn't necessarily mean the flame was going out initially; they may want to use more accelerant and boost the flame. Or maybe throw some Applewood or Mesquite chips in with the charcoal.


     When bringing this subject to your partner, understand that no matter what you say or how you say it, there's a chance they're going to think you're unhappy or unsatisfied with your sex life. Encourage them and re-affirm that's not the case. Also, in this day of technology, this is absolutely NOT the type of conversation to be had via text message. This is an in-person subject matter and should be taken seriously.


     People are nervous or awkward about bringing this up to their partner for a few reasons. Maybe they just don't know how to bring it up. They're worried it'll be taken the wrong way. They may know right off the bat their partner isn't going to want to have the conversation, and that's the wrong attitude to have.


     Men typically believe if his lady has ideas on how to take their sex to that next level, he'll resist; he'll assume what he's doing is and should be good enough so he'll shut it down without listening. Or he'll half-listen, just to appease her. If HE brings it to her, she'll assume he's been unfaithful and has tried things with someone else and wants to do them with her now. Drawbacks? She could only be going through with what you come up with to keep you happy. He will assume you're more experienced than you may have let on initially; for some men, that may be an issue.


     When discussing how to add that extra something to your sex life, there are few things to remember. Start slow and simple; don't break out a full-page apiece and drop the hammer all in one shot. Overwhelming each other can throw a wrench in the intent before it even gets started. Keep it realistic. Don't ask for shit you KNOW your partner won't go for. A large percentage of men will just assume spicing up their sex life will include a threesome, and that's one of the first things that'll be on his list. Leave the strap-ons, plugs, toys, handcuffs, and props for the improv theater; this is about you and your partner. Expect resistance. Embarrassment and discomfort will be two very formidable obstacles that must be met head-on and dealt with for this venture to be successful. And above all, keep it 1000% honest!


Start off simple:


- Role-Playing. Pretend you don't know each other and try to convince her to go back to your place with you. Act like you're in town on business and it won't hurt for him to mess around on his make-believe wife or girlfriend at home.


- Light, playful touching. It doesn't mean, go straight for the goodies; but it also isn't limited to just hugging, kissing, etc. Explore each other and find the places that turn you on that you could do in plain sight; such as the back of her neck, scratching his back or massaging her calves. It shows you both you're more than just sexual parts to one another.


- Talking, "Dirty." This may take some preparation. If you have issues using certain words, try writing them down, saying in front of the mirror, or to yourself in private. Another alternative to talking dirty is texting your intent and desires.


- Affirmation. I don't care what a man says to you; he WANTS to hear how big he is (As long as it's true). A woman wants to know she can satisfy her man. Affirmation keeps the other person confident in their ability to please and from assuming the conversation about adding to the bedroom is about keeping it fresh, not because it's gone stale.


- Go shopping together for something sexy to wear for that special night out on the town. Nothing will get a man turned up on his lady quicker and easier than showing off her figure for him. Make sure she's comfortable wearing it though; again, it's not just about you.


- Try adding 1 or 2 new positions regularly. Keep in mind; every position isn't going to work for everyone. Don't get discouraged if this happens. Don't try to fold your woman up like a fucking pretzel or spread her legs open wider than an autopsy. Don't lean back so far; you're about to snap his shit off at the base. Remember, keep it simple and build your arsenal of positions gradually.


- There's nothing wrong with watching porn together or doing online research.


- The fantasy bowl. Write down things you'd like to try on slips of paper and put them in a jar. Take turns pulling one fantasy a week each and goes for it.


- Hop in the shower together. Classic, but still effective.