Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 28, 2021


      Is your relationship over when you cheat? Is it over when you’re caught? Do you think your relationship’s still relevant and intact when you’re spending time or having sex with someone else? When you get caught, do you think you’re still together then? Do you think you’re just on a break until they’re not mad or hurt anymore and everything’s back on track?

      If your answer is “Yes,” then doesn’t that mean you’re in an expected monogamous and committed relationship with the guy or lady on the side also? Monogamy doesn’t exist in your vocabulary, and your relationship doesn’t exist anymore either. If you end up reconciling is one thing, but as of now, your relationship ended the moment you got caught, if not when you cheated.

      You’re selfish; you don’t want to be tied down to just one person, but you want someone faithful to you. You’re cheating with someone who’s also in a relationship, but you want them to be loyal to you. When caught, you’re relieved you don’t have to lie, hide, or sneak around anymore; you’re not worried or afraid of anything other than breaking up. If you could guarantee your relationship would survive the rage phase of getting caught, you’d cheat all damn day.

      Do you still think you’re together just because they didn’t say the words? That shit’s implied by reaction! They slapped the shit out of you or walked off; that was your breakup. Even if they come back and forgive you later, at that moment, your relationship’s over. You don’t need to be told to go to hell or that your relationship’s over. If you’re begging them not to go, you know you just got dumped; if you didn’t think you weren’t broken up, wouldn’t have to chase after them, pleading for them not to leave you. You’re not trying to repair something damaged; you need to fix what’s broken.

      You don’t have to file for divorce to be broken up; it costs money, and it’s ugly. Your marriage was over when you made someone else a sexual priority over your spouse; you didn’t need to be told it was over. Your ending was telegraphed by how they responded when they found out what you were doing. You got caught doing shit for someone else that should’ve been happening at home. You told them you were ending the relationship when you cheated; you already knew what would happen because they told you initially, and you still took the risk.

      Don’t ask for clarification about if you’re still together or on a break. A break and breaking up are two different things to some people, but not if you’re caught cheating. At least for the time being, your marriage has dissolved into a festering puddle of dog shit covered in maggots and flies. Vultures are circling the carcass of what used to be your relationship. Every scavenger in the area will come out and try to get a piece of what’s left behind, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it because you were the one who killed your relationship.

      When you cheated, you broke up with one person and jumped right into a relationship with someone else, even though it might be temporary or just sexual. You had to spend time getting to know that other man before you gave him sex, or he had to convince his other lady he was a decent, single man before she felt comfortable enough to provide him with sex. That being said, are you truly still in a relationship when you’re cheating? You were courting someone else or allowing yourself to be courted. Your breakup was an unspoken action that doesn’t or didn’t need to be aired.

      You didn’t see the purpose or need to have the “What are we?” or “Are we together?” conversation when you first got together, so why do you need the “Are we broken up?” conversation after you got caught doing dirt? Was your relationship implied, so why do you need the breakup conversation at the end?

      You can’t expect someone to be ready and willing to talk or hear you out the first few days after you got caught. Expect and accept that you’re broken up during that time, even if they come back and tell you they want to work things out. They’re dealing with what you did, or they could’ve been doing dirt also and realized it was wrong; they wanted to get their shit straightened out and back on track before coming back. Regardless of the situation, you’re relationship or marriage is over until further notice.

      Was it essential to be told your relationship was over after she asked for her car and house keys back? They changed their social media status or blocked you altogether. They changed the internet TV or the gate code for their complex. They put a foot dead in your ass emotionally or physically, but you still needed verification that your breakup is temporary or permanent.

      Some people do because they get pissed when they find out their man or lady found someone else. They want to apologize and make things right, but they weren’t thinking about that when they were cheating and getting away with it; or thought they were. You can believe you are still together, but you can’t tell your ex how they think or feel about it. The moment they found out you were cheating; your relationship was over in their mind; they didn’t tell you; your actions should’ve done that.

      You might think you’re still together, but that other person believes you broke up the moment you stuck your meat in another woman or climbed on top of another man. You’re looking at other people, imagining what it would be like to be with them, instead of enjoying what you have at home. If you’re in a bad situation, why not just leave? Why cheat? If things are that bad, why would you want to stay together anyway? Why not be with that other person? They have something you’re not getting in your current relationship, so why make them a backup when your starter isn’t up to leading your team to a victory?

      When you began cheating with that other person, it was the end of your primary relationship. Your main guy or lady knew you were cheating, and they found somebody else too; they allowed you to think you were getting away with your bullshit. They let you think everything was fine, even though they knew you up to dirty shit. They didn’t get mad or bring it to you because they stopped caring. Instead, they dealt with the end of your relationship and broke up with you while still living together, cheating.

      They didn’t tell you it was over because you told them it was over when you chose someone else over them.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 11, 2021


      Some people aren’t typical “Bed-sex” people, meaning they don’t get the same pleasure or satisfaction from what’s considered “traditional” sex. They can have sex in bed, and the experience is great, but they prefer having sex in different positions, situations, and places. They’d rather have sex away from the bed. You could still be in the bedroom, but on the floor, up against the wall, bent over the dresser, or in the closet is more to their liking than in bed.

      The type of sex some people enjoy can’t be had in bed. What gets them off isn’t freaky or nasty; it’s natural. What appeals to them is the ability to be more lively, animated, and daring. The thrill that attracts them is the capacity to move around and get into positions beyond the confines of being in bed.

      Bed sex is too natural; it’s enjoyable and satisfying but mediocre. The reason your sex isn’t fully satisfying could be because you’re both having the type of sex you’re not really into to keep the other person happy; you’re both sacrificing what you need to be satisfied. One of you is more bed-sex driven than the other, and you’re both having the type of sex you don’t really enjoy.

      The sex doesn’t last as long when they’re in bed because they want to get it over with. When you’re done, there’s nothing to do but stare up at the ceiling, listening to you complain about why they didn’t have an orgasm or why they came so quickly. There’s no interest in going for another round because it’s just going to end the same way.

      "Bed" sex isn’t what they really want; it’s not the type of sex that drives them to be exceptional or put in the extra effort to do anything other than the bare minimum for an orgasm. There’s nothing left to do but lie there. There’s no thrill or excitement to be had whether you’re done for the night, or you’re waiting to recover and get aroused again. That second arousal may never come because having bed sex doesn’t merit the outcome.

      They like spontaneous and adventurous sex; outside what society has labeled “Normal.” The mainstream myth of having to be in bed to have meaningful sex is the turn-off to bed sex. Being put on hold because one of you wants to wait until you get home or in bed makes things less exciting.

      Back seat sex gets their juices flowing; getting bent over the hood of the car or sneaking off for a quick rendezvous in the men’s room is a turn-on. Knowing you can barely wait to get out to the parking lot, much less home, and into bed makes him hard as a rock and her wet as a sponge. Being pushed up against the car in a dark parking lot for making out is better than bed sex. Women who’ll put themselves out there just a little farther than others keep him faithful and the sex from turning routine.

      They’re both sick of people who think PDA is something to be ashamed of or treated as a negative display of disrespect. You can have horrible and disrespectful sex in bed. You can feel cheap and be used as a quick hookup in bed. You can roll out of a nice, comfortable bed after what you thought was a night of lovemaking, get dressed, and still take the walk of shame when they couldn’t even remember you’re your damn name.

      Being non-bed sexual doesn’t mean you’re incapable of making love, and all lovemaking doesn’t have to be in bed to be romantic. We’ve been trained and conditioned to think making love has to be traditional and in what society has labeled as traditional places. While you’re thinking it means more emotionally when you’re having "bed" sex, it doesn’t change the mentality of another person with a “Hit it and quit it” mentality. The bed doesn’t mean you’re going to evolve into a relationship; a bed won’t turn a one-night stand into something deeper.

      The bed doesn’t allow being sexually open and expressive. It limits the imagination and hinders improvement and expansion. It’s hard to get excited about having sex in a bed because they’re used to it.

      Having a non-bed sexual man increases the chances of his understanding the importance and need for foreplay. As a result, he’ll take more time to get you aroused before penetration. Making out or having an extended amount of foreplay before even getting home resulted in a manual or oral orgasm, which eased the sexual tension and temporarily alleviated the need to rush into intercourse.

      A non-bed sexual man will reluctantly skip foreplay and head for the city of gold. He’ll skip the middleman and take the quickest route to the bedroom because he knows you’re tethered to the bed mentality. She wants foreplay and more time for arousal in bed, but he’ll ask why he should give you the sex you want if you don’t give him what he wants.

      Being non-bed sexual makes you feel like a teenager again; it doesn’t make either of you feel like you’re being hidden. Being in the open, taking the risk of being seen or caught is exciting and arousing, even though you take precautions to remain discreet. Women who are non-bed sexual get off on the fact that he wants you to feel sensual and desired but protected.

      Being open with sexuality and PDA enforces their claim to you and your relationship. It builds self-confidence on both sides. Most women won’t accept or validate the idea of being non-bed sexual because they’re trapped into thinking it’s about voyeurism or being in public. No one wants to put you on display, and they want you all to themselves. It’s being bored with the same old sex they want to avoid.

      Non-bed sexual people have always dated men and women with the same sexual preferences as they have. They were introduced and addicted to sex outside the bed and bedroom. Disrespect or humiliation isn’t the intent but trying to get someone who isn’t non-bed sexual to believe that is a losing battle. Some people are convinced sex at home, behind closed doors, or in a bed is where it belongs and everywhere else is shameful or disrespectful, which is a defense mechanism or dismissal tool.

      You’re stuck in the mindset that sex is for the bedroom or “Behind closed doors.” Why can’t that door be the laundry room, bathroom, garage, or door to the backyard around midnight? Why can’t it be the door to the bathroom stall at an upscale bar, club, or restaurant?

Some men are against non-bed sexual women because it commits them to that woman when they’re out in public. He doesn’t want the outside attention it can draw. But, on the other hand, he can’t play down who she is because that’ll make him unavailable to every other woman. Being all over each other spotlights them to anyone who’s looking; their behavior is considered deplorable, with everyone staring at them like a bad car wreck.

      He’s afraid to show that side of himself because he doesn’t want to look soft, or he can’t admit he doesn’t know how to be non-bed sexual; he won’t ask for what she wants or how to be more of what she wants because he’s a man and men should already know how to be that way, if he chooses to; which he usually won’t.

      Men believe women should sit back and enjoy what he knows how to do and give them. Men should set the tempo, pace, and rhythm, and she should be following his lead, not the other way around. A man won’t let a woman be better at sex than he is; he’s the man and should always have more experience.

      Women are against non-bed sex because they see it as demeaning. He’s asking for hood rat and side piece sex. So she won’t be treated like nasty secondhand slut trash, and that’s what she thinks about sex almost anywhere else but in bed, or at least at home. Non-bed sex is what you get when you’re stumbling out of the club, drunk as hell, and want to get a quick nut before going your separate ways.

      If you’re not a bed sex person, don’t get involved with someone who doesn’t share your idea. You’re not going to convert them or vice versa. Women are quick to make a non-bed sexual man feel guilty about his preferences, claiming it’s about being in public. Instead, you’re trying to find the harmony between the sex you want, the sex they’re comfortable with, and keeping your sex from going stale.

      You’ve done the bed sex thing, and you’re over it. They met someone who opened their eyes to something else, something bigger and different than what they knew, and they won’t go back. You have a better chance, if any, of turning someone non-bed sexual when they’ve never been exposed to it. You’re not going to “Calm” down someone who doesn’t enjoy bed sex as much as other places. There’s a reason they prefer various, non-traditional sex, and it’s not up to you to understand it, change it, or condemn them for it.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


AUG 01, 2021


      You broke up to see what else is out there or what you’ve been missing out on by being tied down; what made you think they wouldn’t do the same after you left? You ended the relationship, and as far they were concerned, it was over, and you both were moving on. Why are you pissed off because you can’t go back when you realized you messed up and walked away from a great thing or things didn’t go the way you planned?

      You left with the idea that you were so much a part of their lives they couldn’t live or move on past you. You thought you were the A-list celebrity, and they were playing a supporting role or comic relief. You thought you had a grace period to explore other options, and you could come back within a certain time frame. Still, your relationship, much like buying a firearm in Arizona, had no waiting period, and it only took a short while for them to move on to something better than you.

      You thought you’d try to renegotiate your contract and had the leverage to take your time or demand more. You did the dumping, so why are you the angry one? You wanted your hall pass or your freedom, and now you have it. You grabbed the key to the restroom at the gas station, thinking as long as you had them, you controlled how long others had to wait until you were finished using the facilities. Still, there’s a separate men’s AND ladies room, and you got pissed because they didn’t need to wait on you to get done and return the key. They finished before you and took off, leaving you stranded.

      You ended the relationship, so why are you mad when they’re the ones who should be? They found someone better, and you’re still looking. All the options you thought you were missing out on were never there; you were the victim of your own hallucinations. You don’t even have a reason for the breakup, other than telling them things weren’t working out, or you feel like you’re drifting apart. It would be best if you had been honest with yourself, at least, about why you were leaving and realized you were taking the risk of not being able to backtrack.

      You have this idea in your head that when you’re single, you can’t find anyone, but as soon as you’re in a relationship, men and women seem to come out of the woodwork to get at you, but that’s untrue; women are just nicer to you because they know you’re in a relationship and hope you’re a good person who won’t cheat. So they don't see you as a threat or think you’re going to act like every other man and hit on them.

      Are you really mad at them for moving on or at yourself because you just lost the game you invented and made the rules for? They played by your rules and still emerged on the better end than you. Are you mad because you got beat when you were making up the rules as you go along, and you were still defeated? Is it because you were defeated by someone who didn’t even know they were playing?

      You spent countless hours training your muscles to react without looking at the controller, learning all your characters' fighting moves, and honing your skills until you were a lethal arcade game assassin ready to take on all challengers. Then, you were defeated by someone who picked up the second controller, moved the stick from side to side, and just mashing buttons at random, and you had your ass handed to you.

      You wanted them to wait until you were done playing or realized you weren’t as good at the game as you thought you were. But then, you found out you weren’t the star of your team; they were the franchise player making all the shots and scoring all the points. For every shot you missed, they were the ones fighting for the rebound and feeding the ball back to you. It was someone else who got your team to the championships, not you.

      You left your relationship for someone else over something you never asked them for; you wanted someone to read your mind or offer what you wanted without you having to ask for it. You couldn’t communicate; you wanted a mind reader. You wanted to prove you were the best they’d ever meet, but they found better than you when you left. You thought they were holding you back from meeting your soulmate, but it was you who kept them from finding the best for themselves. You weren’t wasting your time with them; they were wasting their time with you!

      You didn’t have a change of heart; you always knew you were going to want to come back; you just wanted to walk away for a while because there was someone you wanted to mess around with and didn’t want to be a cheater. You wanted to see if there was anything new swimming around.

      You wanted to visit all your old hangouts to see if anything new was going on and when you realized there was nothing there but the same people, doing the same thing as they were when you were single, you wanted to come back.

     You got older, and all the men and women you thought wanted you but knew you weren’t available would be nipping at your heels. Still, they’re all older and wrinkled and as desperate as you are and out doing the same thing you are, trying to see if there’s anything new or anything new going on. You wanted a hall pass, an extended bachelor or bachelorette party experience with all the expectations, acceptance, and understanding, but without accountability and none of the guilt.

      Your pride’s already in the shitter; you might as well swallow the rest of it and deal with the reality that you walked away from a good thing for something that wasn’t guaranteed to be there in the first place or hoping to find something new. Instead, you’re going to have to deal with the emotional storm or navigate the barren wasteland of your own doing.

      By the off chance you do stumble into someplace new, your line ticket says 183, and the prospects you’re trying to hook up with just called out “Serving number 17”.

      Choose your stupid; 1. Thinking they were going to wait for you 2. Thinking you could come back. 3. Leaving in the first place. 4. Getting mad because you can’t go back.

      You left for someone who made more money; that doesn’t mean you’ll ever have access to it or spend it on you. You left for someone who had a better body or a bigger, thicker ass, but that also doesn’t mean she’s going to let you hit it from behind.

      Accept you can’t go back, even if they may want to take you back. You won’t be able to convince them you won’t run again. They know you’ll always have a thought or doubt about if you’re doing the right thing by being together, and they put a leash on their feelings for you and the limits of your relationship. You’re now a dog, confined to the limits of the fence you constructed yourself, and you’re pissed because they don’t trust you enough to even take to the park and run around with the other dogs.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUL 25, 2021


      He doesn’t want to date you; he wants to have sex with you. He’s not sure if he wants to date you, but he definitely wants to have sex with you. There’s something about you that makes him want you, but he can’t put his finger on it. You’re not the type of woman he normally dates, but when he sees you, he wants you. He doesn’t know if he’s attracted to you, but he REALLY wants to have sex with you. He feels guilty about it because he’s normally not like that; he’s not a “Hit it, and quit it” type of guy, but there’s something physically about you that makes him want to be that way with you.

      The solution? He’ll convince himself he likes you, or he’ll find enough of your physical appearance attractive to justify pretending he likes you. He’ll talk himself into liking you to keep from feeling like a jackass for seeing you as a sex object. He wants to be interested in spending time with you and wants to get to know you, so you’ll give him what he wants from you, but you’re not really his type. He can’t tell if he thinks you’re pretty. Some days you look better than others, depending on if your hair’s pinned up or down; straight versus curly or wavy. Dyed blonde or dark. You look better in skirts and dresses, compared to pants and tops.

      He doesn’t think he’s a player because he doesn’t fit the criteria. He sincerely feels like shit for thinking that way about you, but that’s just an excuse for him. Players go out, trying to build a collection of different women, telling them all the same thing to get sex, knowing he doesn’t want to be with any of them. He’s different because he doesn’t know if he wants to be with you or not, and he doesn’t know why he feels that way. If his guilt were genuine, it would be enough not to pursue you at all. He’s not a player because he’s not trying to hook up with a different woman every weekend or have women for every day of the week; he wants you.

      He doesn’t really know if he thinks you’re pretty. He knows you’re cute enough to have sex with. He doesn’t think you’re as pretty as he tells you he thinks you are, but you’re cute enough to be seen in public with. He knows other men see you and wonder how you got together until they see what he sees in you, and then it’ll make sense. Then they’re thinking the same thing he’s thinking; your face game might be torn up and on the amateur level, but your body is championship material and more than makes up for what you lack in rebounds and free throws.

      You look great in gym clothes, yoga pants, and leggings with your sports bra. However, those super-short spandex shorts you wear makes your ass look ridiculous when you're doing squats. Your body looks tight and sexy, and you’re not wearing makeup, so your face looks plain enough to get you through the door, but not so much when it comes to your regular clothes like jeans, shirts, or lounging around the house clothes. You look pretty decent at work, but you were looking rather rough when you came in on your day off.

      You look a hell of a lot better in your club clothes or what you wear when you go out and have your makeup done. After you have sex, he sees you differently, in a different light. It happens each time you have sex. He acts like you’re beautiful until he gets off, then questions if you really looked like that the whole time or if he was just hypnotized by your body or your face and blinded by everything else. You want to get the hell out of her place or her out of yours as gracefully as possible until the next time you want sex; because she’s the only woman you’re having sex with, you don’t think that makes you an asshole, but you are an asshole.

      You’re a solo player; you don’t have a stable full of women because that’s really not your style. You think you’re a good guy because you’re not playing the field, but you’re playing the game. You’re using player tactics to get a female to have sex with you, based on bullshit. You’re going on dates, talking and texting, getting to know each other, and making her feel like you’re interested in taking it to another level. You’re trying to convince her and yourself you like her when all you really want to do is push your meat between her huge boobs or watch her massive ass cheeks bobble and wobble when you’re tagging it from behind.

      She knows she has big boobs, a huge ass, or juicy lips because that’s all she’s heard since she was 15 years old. She’s used to the comments men make when she walks by and why they approach her. She knows why you walked up and started talking to her, and you know she knows it. You felt like shit for thinking like every other guy, and you genuinely feel guilty about it, but every time you see that fat ass earth quaking in her pants, her rock-hard nipples, or her boobs bouncing when she walks, none of that matters.

      Maybe she doesn’t know; she knows she’s not that cute, and guys don’t talk to her much, regardless of how she’s built. Maybe she’s cute but flat as aboard. Her friends are hotter, and she’s used to guys being nice to her so that she can introduce them to one of her friends. Unfortunately, they don’t go as far as to date her to get to them, so she’s naïve when it comes to men passing by her friends to talk to her. You want to date her friends, but you think you have a better chance at one of them if you sweet-talk her into telling you how to get them or telling them how great a guy you are and cause a little competition to steal you away.

      The fact that you’re choosing her over her friends makes her believe you really like her, and that also makes you an asshole. You know she likes you, and you know what it took for her to have sex with you. You got her to drop her guard and her walls and took advantage of her just because you liked her ass, her mouth, or her boobs. You saved her from low self-esteem and insecurities by dating and spending time together. You turned her out and took her out of her shy shell. You opened her up to be more sensually and intimately affectionate.

      You’re trying to like her and think she’s pretty, but she’s too plain. She’s actually a really nice person, but you need more than nice; you need smoking hot. You go back and forth with whether or not you should do the right thing and end it, but the sex is great; your head’s swimming with disbelief at how someone so plain and average can be as flexible and talented as she is orally and sexually. There’s no way you won't give that up, even though you’re not interested in dating her or having a relationship. You know what you’re doing is having sex with her, and she’s making love to you.

      She changed her wardrobe for you, from jeans and shirts to short, sexy dresses and heels because you made her feel like her body was built to be shown off, and she had the curves to rock that shit. You couldn’t keep your hands off her. You made her fall for you to fuck her from behind because she had the biggest, fattest ass you’ve ever seen in person. Every time you bust a nut, your 20/20 vision comes back, and you realize you don’t really think she’s pretty; you just wanted to see her boobs bouncing while she was riding you.

      You should feel guilty; you’re not a typical player who wants many different women, but you played someone into thinking you wanted more than what you really did. Just because you feel bad about what you did doesn’t change what you did. You didn’t want to be an ass for just wanting one PART of her; instead, you became a bigger ass for tricking her into thinking you wanted ALL of her. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUL 11, 2021


      When you catch your woman cheating, you’re going to be mad as hell. You’re full of rage, frustration, humiliation, and confusion with nowhere put it but the guy standing in front of you. Unless he knew about you, he’s not the person to take it out on. If he knew you or knew about you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t want to kick his ass for disrespecting you and betraying your friendship. Cheating with your lady is icing on the cake. You can be mad at him, but don’t take away from what she did. If he didn’t know about you, leave him alone; that was her choice. You should be mad at her, not that other man; why the hell are the two of you fighting?

      Are you fighting because you got cheated on or because you know the guy they cheated with? Are you fighting because they knew about you the whole time and they didn’t care? Were you friends? Are you fighting because you cheated, and they’re getting you back? Are you pissed because your boys told you she was doing you dirty, and you defended her; now you have to go back and admit you were wrong?

You feel like a damn fool, and you want to redeem yourself. The natural thing to do is to throw blows with that other guy; the quickest way to show your anger is to jump on him, but he’s as much the victim as you. You’re not going to put your hands on that woman, even though you want to, because that’s not how you were raised; at least most men were, but you can’t underestimate what a man will do when faced with that situation.

      You really want to slap the shit out of her. She knows you want to put hands on her throat, but she knows you won’t. She’s safe, no matter what you do and how mad you get. She’ll stand there screaming, crying, and trying to stop you two from fighting. She’s watching you go after each other, hoping somebody will come and break it up. Because you won’t, and legally shouldn’t punch her in the face, it’s not an excuse or reason to pardon her role in the situation or make light of her being the reason you’re all together.

      She’s standing in the corner, watching you fight. She acts like she doesn’t know who the other guy is and when that doesn’t work, she’ll bring up shit that has nothing to do with or even compares to the magnitude of what she did. You don’t empty the dishwasher, so she cheated on you. You leave the toilet seat up, so she cheated on you. You’re working so she doesn’t have to, so she cheated on you. You pay the bills instead of buying her expensive things, so she cheated on you.

      She knows there’s a good chance at least one of you will still want to be with her, so she’ll wait and see which one that is. She’s watching to see who’s willing to fight the hardest for her or who’ll walk away. So she’ll go back and forth, first telling you she loves you and the other meant nothing until you’re done with her, then she’ll switch and tell the other guy the same shit she just told you.

      She can’t wait to brag about having guys fight over her. Two guys fighting makes her better about herself and boosts her self-esteem in some weird way. Maybe she knows YOU were messing around, and this is how she got her revenge; by getting someone else involved to kick your ass. She doesn’t understand or comprehend the danger she’s putting you both in between physical harm, STDs, or legal repercussions for your actions. On the other hand, maybe she does understand, and the fact that you both want her so bad you’re willing to take that chance, she gets off on it.

      This guy didn’t know any more about you than you did about him until you caught them together or he caught you. So why are you fighting each other? She doesn’t want you to fight, but she’s secretly attracted to having two men willing to go toe to toe for her, especially if one of her complaints is that her man doesn’t show her enough attention or feels like he doesn’t care about her. She’ll tell you it’s about time you stepped up and acted like you gave a shit about her; maybe if you’d made her feel that way before, she wouldn’t have HAD to cheat on you.

      She didn’t HAVE to cheat; she CHOSE to. She MEANT to tell you it’s over. Men don’t HAVE to cheat on their women; they CHOOSE to. Don’t get diverted or allow yourself to be thrown in a pit of fire for her bullshit. There’s no gun to her head or knife to her throat; cheating is a conscious choice for her, and the anger and blame are on her because she’s the one who cheated. It’s her responsibility to put her foot down and remain faithful. It was still up to her to go along with it. She could’ve told him to stop or walk away. She could’ve turned him down. She could’ve told you and let you deal with it if she couldn’t.

      Of course, you want somebody to answer and pay for screwing you over and making a fool out of you, but it was her, not the guy you’re wrestling around on the floor with. You should be pissed at her. That other guy’s just as confused and pissed off as you are and wants the same information, explanations, and payback you want. That’s why you’re targeting each other; you’re both frustrated. Even your concept of gravity is messed up right now, and you’re at your most primal. That other guy’s feeling and thinking everything you are and wants to swing on somebody too.

      When men get cheated on, he’ll put her infidelity into “Dog years.” She didn’t hook up with some guy on a whim; she didn’t let a total stranger hit that ass on the first night; she took time to get to know him. He caught her eye and her interest. They spent time together. They dated for a while before it got physical. Her emotions and feelings got involved before having sex with him, and that took 1-3 months. So when she tells you she’s only been cheating for 3 months, she’s telling you how long they’ve been having sex, not how long ago they met or been seeing each other.

      You want to fight each other because you want to believe the other forced her to cheat; you didn’t give her any choice. You want some sensible reason she did what she did. You’re convinced he made her do it; it’s not her fault. They assume you knew about them; you assume they knew about you. It’s harder for men to convince each other they didn’t know about the other. Men are more likely not to care if she has a man or not, as long as she’s giving it up. Men are quicker to hook up with other women no matter what their situation at home is.

      You’re both mad at each other for coming between you and your woman. Neither of you sees her as the common denominator; all you see is another man putting his hands on your woman. You’re fighting because she’s touching another man. You’re fighting because that other guy put his hands on you. He’s a stranger coming between you and your lady. In your eyes, he walked up, pushed you out the way, and started trying to take her home.

      You’re fighting each other because both of you want your explanation and questions answered first. This other guy has no business asking you or your lady a damn thing, and you want each other to go away. You do not think that everything you feel you is entitled to go for them. You’re going to want to beat the shit out of somebody, and the perfect candidate’s standing right in front of you. You’re not thinking about how big or small you are when you’re face to face with the guy who’s bending your lady over behind your back or having sex in your bed when you’re at work.

      You don’t even know each other, and you still want to fight instead of looking to her for doing you both dirty. So before the pushing and shoving match begins, remember who the real villain is. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUN 13, 2021


    If you look at every woman a man has ever cheated on or treated like shit, they’ll most likely have common denominators between them. That denominator represents his “First witch,” The woman who treated him the worst he’s been treated or broke his heart. She’s the reason some men are players or refuse to commit to one a monogamous relationship. He has better and more faithful relationships with women who don’t have the same physical or projected personality traits as his witch.

      She was his first emotional bully. He did absolutely nothing wrong or out of pocket, besides the fact he thought she was pretty. She treated him like shit; she rejected and embarrassed him publicly. She baited him for humiliation and exclusion and encouraged, if not demanded, others to follow her lead and example. She was insulted by his thought that he’d had a chance with her when she’s flaunting her assets in front of the captain of the basketball or football team. More popular and better-looking guys are coming at her, so how dare he think he rates the same privilege?

      He’s determined to get payback by punishing every woman who reminds him of his witch. He’ll seek out a relationship with every size 6, blonde, or popular female who used to be a volleyball player in high school because she represents his witch. She could be nothing like the woman he wants revenge on, but because they resemble each other physically, he’ll cheat on her, generally treat her like trash and take advantage of her and destroy her self-esteem to get back at the one who destroyed his. His first witch made a fool of him in high school. She used him when she needed the best lab partner in class; otherwise, she couldn’t give a shit about him. She knows he liked her and encouraged her boyfriend to torment him mercilessly.

      Whatever the case was back then, it still haunts him to this day, and now it’s payback time. He’s lost the weight, the braces came off, and he’s rocking the body of a Greek god. He can’t get to his actual witch, but he can and will take revenge on anyone who reminds him of the witch who cast that first spell that made his life a living hell.

      Every time they meet someone new that represents or resembles their witch is like going back to their high school reunion and turning into his witch. First, she doesn’t recognize him because she’s too busy checking him out and wondering why she doesn’t remember him from back in the day. Then, when she finds out who he is, she’ll allow herself to be crucified, based on what she did to him when the tables were turned.

      She’s been married and divorced 3 times with 4 kids and no father figure; she’s living on welfare or just barely making it check to check, and that makes him feel great. On the other hand, she made him feel like shit when he wore bargain store clothes or hand-me-downs. The popular guys she kicked him to the curb for and picked on him are the guys who bailed on her when she got pregnant and haven’t heard from them since, or they’re just as bad off in life as she is. So now she wants a chance with the guy she treated like shit because he’s doing pretty damn good for himself, and he plans to use her situation to exact his revenge.

      He’s used to having any woman he wants now, but he wants the one who didn’t want him back in the day or used and treated him like shit. But, of course, things can go the other way around, and men will seek out their witch, and that’s the only successful relationship they’ll have. So he’ll bend over backward for the woman who reminds him of the girl he couldn’t have when he was younger. In his mind, he finally won; he got the cheerleader, the popular girl. She’s the girl every guy in school wanted, maybe even a few teachers.

      She doesn’t have to look like his witch, and he could overhear something she said or the way she acts and speaks in general. He sees how she treats other people and sees his witch in how she treats other men who remind him of himself when he was younger. Men won’t take the high road and avoid women who remind him of his witch; he owes it to himself and others who had the same witch, and they haven’t or can’t deal with her specifically. So his revenge on her will be on his and their behalf. He can’t get to the actual person, but he can get to other women who represent her.

      It’s like wanting to or getting back at the bully who tormented him and made his school life miserable for no reason other than he was different and didn’t fit in where they were. He thinks he can get his self-esteem and confidence back through surrogates. He can get revenge and payback, but the obsession will never live up to reality.

      Some men can’t consciously be a good, faithful man to any woman until he’s made peace with the damage and issues he had with his first witch. He won’t stop being a player until he’s made enough of an impact to have taught his witch a lesson. Still, he’ll never be satisfied because no matter how many women he treats the way he was treated, he can’t reach the woman he really wants his vengeance on; the surrogates he chooses will never be close enough to satisfy his bloodlust.

      It’s not that he can’t be or stay faithful; he won’t stay faithful to any redhead because he was hurt in the worst way of his life by a redhead or anyone else who shares any of the physical traits of his first witch. He only needed to be devastated once before he hardened himself, so any other witch who came across his path won’t be as effective or influential to his life as his first witch. Black men will date black women specifically but will always cheat with white or Hispanic women because black women were his first witch.

      Women think he’s petty and ridiculous, but he’s no more ridiculous than women who think all men are players or trying to get into her pants. Every time women see or are approached by a particular type of man, she’ll relate him to the men who hurt her in the past; her ex that cheated, her ex-husband, her kid's father, etc. She may not date him for revenge, but she won’t give him a chance to get close enough to hurt her heart, based on who he reminds her of from her past. That's no different than a man who wants and needs to get back at his first witch.

      The witch is different from a heartbreaker because the heartbreaker could’ve been his friend who didn’t feel the same way about him as he did for her. Instead, the witch intentionally hurt him and set him up for others to hurt and humiliate him as well. His witch and heartbreaker could’ve been the same person, but the heartbreaker could’ve also cared about him or felt bad about breaking his heart. She still tried to be friends but eventually let go because the revelation of his feelings and her lack of reciprocation ruined the friendship. The heartbreaker feels bad; the witch feels good about herself at his expense.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAY 26, 2021


     Sex isn’t something you can learn to be good at; you can improve your natural talent and technique, but you can’t go from horrible to fantastic or bad to good. You think practice makes perfect, but that’s not true either. You’re not going to get too many chances to make a good sexual first impression or establish yourself as a formidable lover, so while it’s best to gather as much information and knowledge to improve the skills you do have, you have to be mindful of what you’re learning and who you’re learning it from.

     Not everyone’s going to be sexually well-matched, based on general incompatibility. You want to learn about sex in general to please various types of people with various levels of experience, but your teacher is training you for their type of sex. If one or both of you isn’t open-minded or willing to accept that you don’t know everything or you’re beyond learning anything new, your sex is always going to be horrible, or at the very least, unsatisfactory to who has the issue with your sex the way it is now.

     You learn the most of your sexual preferences, knowledge, skills, and abilities from just a few people in your life. No matter how many different partners you have, you’ll learn the most from the first or second person you have sex with, the first or second older or more experienced lover, and your first “Freak.”

     Your first-timers taught you the basics; how to do it, what to do, and where things should go and not go without permission. Men become sex addicts, always searching for whoever will have sex with them, and they’ll be selfish with their partners. He’ll choose females on his sexual level because he has a pretty good idea she’s lacking in practice and wants to be the best she’s ever had. After all, she has very little to compare him to, from technique to his “Size.”

     His goal is his own satisfaction, and he won’t care too much about hers. First-timers will make men greedy, demanding assholes focused only on the next time they can get off. He sees nothing wrong with going to sleep or being finished for the night after just 5 minutes.

     She’ll learn every guy she has sex with doesn’t or isn’t going to love her, even though she’ll wait until she loves him, based on her understanding of love is up to that point in her life.

     You’ll learn the 3 basic positions: missionary, cowgirl, and doggy style; plus being introduced to the front seat of the car; he doesn’t know how to talk her into the back seat yet, and her parents won’t give them the time or opportunity to be alone at home long enough when he comes over to do anything. Men and women establish themselves as being biomechanical or biochemical. He’ll be wrapped up in the physical act of sex, and she’ll be thinking you’re making love.

     She’ll experiment with oral sex and develop a temporary preference for or against it. She’ll have a gag reflex and won’t swallow, even though she’s been going down on him for a while, but that was different because she was doing it then to hold him off from pressuring her to have sex. He wants to do what he’s been looking at in porno movies, but he doesn’t know how or where even to start.

     There’s no foreplay, and she’s unaware of the benefits or concept, past mutual manual stimulation and oral, but that was also for diverting the focus from intercourse.

     You’ll learn and develop your pace, technique, and rhythm from your first older or more experienced man or woman. You’ll learn the most about different positions and choose your favorites. You’ll realize, set, and extend your level of sexual comfort and your boundaries.

     She’ll experience receiving oral sex, and it’ll be mutual. She’ll realize what she’s been missing out on with her first-timers. Men will quickly decide whether or not they enjoy giving oral sex and establish their prequalifying checklist for doing so; for example, he’ll decide if he prefers her pubic hair completely shaved, trimmed, or natural. She’ll try swallowing and develop a preference or disliking for it. You’ll learn about stamina and foreplay and decide whether or not you care about the importance of either.

     Boys will begin to stop kissing. He thinks you’re both beyond it, and he’s kissed her enough in the past when they weren’t having sex, and he finds it unnecessary or a waste of precious time when they could be having sex instead. It’s time to go to the next level, and kissing is only good for when you can’t have sex, as in saying hello or goodbye.

     Before intercourse, manual and oral sex was the alternative and a substitute because she wasn’t ready to give it up. Now that you’re having sex and it’s turned into foreplay, they’re no longer interested. He has no intentions on what he feels is “Going backward.”

     Females still want to kiss or kiss more because she gave him an amazing gift by having sex. Her first time was good for what it was because she had nothing to compare it to; the first older, more experienced guy opened her eyes and gave her an even bigger gift than she gave her first guy: her first orgasm.

     He paid attention to her, read her body language like second nature; he responded and reassured her she felt good. He complimented her and put her at ease, even when she lost the stroke or stepped out of the rhythm momentarily. He made her the focus of satisfaction, putting her orgasm ahead of his. He made things all about her and gave her oral first, then sex, not one or the other. She had her first multiple orgasms before they even had intercourse.

     That older man or woman will introduce and finalize your natural oral ability and technique instead of just a tool. Men decide if they’re going to be selfish or reciprocate. You’ll finalize your decision to swallow, spit, or not even have his cream of meat in your mouth. Women will have their first soaking wet or “Squirting” orgasm. Men choose to stay selfish and greedy like teenagers or care about their partner’s needs and satisfaction. The importance of generosity will be settled. You’ll find out what happens if you’re unwilling to give as much as you get.

     Men and women will decide to shave, trim, or keep their pubic hair natural. Racial preference will be explored and decided by now. Preferences in physical features and/or assets; He’ll become a breast or butt man, and she’ll decide what features turn her on as well. You won’t always have to wait or initiate; they’ll come after you when they want it, but not the same way the first-timer did. The older man or woman will make it sexy and seductive, not a debt owed or collected.

     The first “Freak” will change everything you think you know about sex. You’ll find out the things you see in porn are best left to your imagination, not the application. You’ll find out how good or terrible you really are, and it’ll be obvious. You’ll question how many times and how many people you’ve had fake an orgasm with you. They’ll be much more open and experienced than you and will finalize all your preferences.

     From positions to fantasies to technique and confidence, the freak will concrete your sexual prowess and abilities if they haven’t been already set. You’ve been studying karate up to this point, and the freak will teach you the sexual arts of the Shaolin Temple.

     The freak will surprise you with how much they want sex. You got used to being turned down left and right, and the freak can’t get enough. They’re not bound by traditional expectations or dictated by what society believes is appropriate. The freak doesn’t care about what other people are saying, as long as you’re happy and they’re satisfied.

     You’d think they were teenagers again by how hungry they are for sex. Women won’t complain about him always pawing at her or feeling her up like she did when she was with her first-timers. Men will try to go back to being selfish, but the freak will leave him quick, fast, and in a hurry, if he tries that shit, and take your reputation along with it. The freak will penthouse your confidence or crash it into the sub-basement.

     Your confidence in your ability to satisfy someone who has less experience will be off the charts. The freak will give you the assurance to be who you truly are and not care about anyone else’s opinion. The freak will bring you back to foreplay, but on a different level, and teach you all types of new tricks and activities. You’ll discover you’re not a typical “Bed-sex” person; you’re into intense foreplay, and you want it when you want it, where you want it. One or both of you can’t or don’t want to wait until you get home, the kids are in bed, or nighttime.

     The freak will sneak off with you to the men’s room stall for a quick hookup and won’t give a damn who saw her walk out, fixing her skirt. She’ll let him bend her over in the dark part of the parking lot, as long as she can get her pants up or dress down before anyone sees her, even though they know what’s going on. They don’t give a damn about anyone commenting on her being groped or making out with her man in public.

     The freak will teach you everything you thought was weird before is actually what you’ve always wanted but didn’t know how to accept it. What you thought was dirty and disrespectful in your sexual infancy is now what you can’t or don’t want to do without. They’ll bring you out of your box and step you up to a level you find fun, sexy, and enjoyable.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAY 2, 2021


     Some things you’re not going to understand if you’ve never been in someone else’s shoes or situation. Until you’ve been broke or poor, you can’t begin to understand.

      Condiment sandwiches. Ketchup, mustard, relish, or mayo. When you’re poor, you’ll put the craziest shit between two slices of bread and make it work. Poor people know about bread-and-butter sandwiches, not toast with butter and not “Peanut” butter. Just plain old bread and butter.

     Pancake syrup or honey sandwiches. Pinching the ends to keep it from leaking all over, plus eating it fast enough so it doesn’t soak the bread. Not just because they tasted good, going hungry was the alternative. When you’re poor, eating the ends of the bread wasn’t up to debate; You’d better not open that new loaf until those ends were gone and didn’t get caught trying to hide them in the garbage.

     Poor people don’t have the money for hotdogs or hamburger buns; poor people know bread. All beef hot dogs? Not at $4 a pack; poor people's hot dogs were $1.19 and made out of chicken, beef, and pork. Buffalo, turtle, and squirrel meat was possibly somewhere in there too. The only lunch meat in the fridge was Bologna; we knew the right time to flip it when we fried it. We made our own pizza; cheese, pasta sauce, and whatever meat were in the fridge. There was no need to buy Chili-mac in a box; all it took was noodles, meat, and sauce. And we called it “Goulash”.

     Hot school lunches were the closest thing to fast food some of us got. Kids with money saw it as gross, and it was a TV dinner for poor kids. If it weren’t for taco or enchilada day, we’d never have tasted Mexican food. The fried rice was a combination of the rice from last night and anything else getting ready to go bad in the fridge with two scrambled eggs. Soy sauce was a teaspoon of vinegar in the hot grease while it was cooking.

     Poor people knew about sugar water with a lemon in the glass. The word “Presweetened” was as foreign as the Pakistani language when making juice from drink powder. It wasn’t right unless you heard that wooden spoon scraping the extra sugar you added across the bottom of the pitcher. We made our own popsicles, with juice in the ice cube trays or a plastic cup of juice in the freezer. Poor people know if you put a little water in the empty juice carton with a little sugar and shake it up, there was enough for one more swallow.

     The concept of cheese being a dairy product was foreign when you’re poor. Government cheese was oil-based, and it didn’t melt; it just lost its structural integrity when you heated it up or baked with it. Poor people knew their cheese was nacho-ready when the end of the puddle was burned around the edges, or there was a pool of oil surrounding the outer perimeter of the plate.

     Rich and middle-class people had spices; poor people had season salt. The fried chicken had a slight fish, bacon, and pork chop flavor to it; because the grease you used to fry the chicken is the same grease you kept in the coffee can go on the stove. It had sludge on the bottom made of cold animal fat and food bits from when you used it before and kept adding to it. That’s still damn good grease to poor people; you’d better not pour it out.

     The cake mix bowl battle royal; only poor kids know about standing next to mom or dad while mixing cake batter. You were stretching, popping your knuckles, and limbering up to either snatch the bowl and run or fight to the death. Getting ready for the cake mix bowl clash made you feel like the manager of a retail store on Black Friday, and it was your job to open the doors.

     All the other kids in the house were laying traps, hiding in wait, or poised to attack as soon as you got the bowl touched the counter. Fighting for the cake mix bowl was the closest to professional rugby most poor kids got to play. You almost cried when you were told you had to share with everybody; secretly, I think parents enjoyed watching this pageant of violence and brutality.

     Halloween was as joyous as Christmas and disappointing as the night before the summer break was over and school starting the next day. You made your costume; being a pimp, bum, or clown was easy and cheap. Halloween was that night you got all types of candy you’d never have the chance to have, and you were happy as hell; opening each piece was like finding another present under the tree with your name on it.

     What sucked is when you all had to put EVERYTHING in a pile and take turns choosing just one piece until everyone had an equal amount of candy. Your parents wanted each child to be able to have and sample candy they couldn’t have otherwise. Your extra hard work to get more candy than your siblings was all for nothing, especially when you also had to share with someone who didn’t even go trick-or-treating, and they had nothing to contribute to the pile!

     Poor kids know about protecting their good batteries like military secrets; Batteries were like vintage coins, especially if they were name brand. When you were done using them, you took them out of whatever you were using them for and hid them! Even your parents would steal your good batteries for the remote when your back was turned!

     Poor people had “Play clothes.” When you came home from school and finished your homework, you put on that shirt and pair of pants that were designated for playing. Get caught outside in your church or school clothes, and that was your ass! Poor people know about putting their good clothes folded under the mattress to keep the creases. Rich and middle-class people had electric irons with steam. Poor people had the iron slab with the wooden handle that burned through everything if they weren’t careful. Only a seasoned operator knew how to handle that weapon of textile destruction. Dry clean clothes weren’t an option.

     You couldn’t run the heat AND the dryer, so you had to make a choice; be cold with warm, dry clothes or be warm and take the chance with the clothesline outside and Satan’s iron anvil to get the frozen wrinkles out.

     Poor kids saw hand-me-downs as new clothes; they’d never worn them, so they weren’t used. Poor people know about using socks as mittens; they were a barrier between bare skin and the hot baked potatoes they kept in their coat or jacket pockets for hand warmers. Last month's electric bill determined if the air or heat was going to get used this month. Poor kids know about sleeping in coats or opening the oven and propping your feet up on the door to get warm.

     When it rained, snowed, or there was slush on the ground, you put your feet into plastic shopping bags before you put your shoes on, and you walked to school. No matter how much you try, you couldn’t avoid every puddle, and even though your feet were freezing, at least they were dry.

     Rich people have toolboxes; poor people had the “Junk drawer” People with money had styling brushes and combs; poor people had the stovetop hot comb. Buying a spatula was a waste of money when a fork could do the same thing. Wrapping paper? We used the Sunday morning comics; we didn’t care about what the gift was wrapped in!

     Kids with money had book covers; poor kids had brown paper bags, which allowed for self-decorating. Poor kids only had red rubber balls in school; at home, dodgeballs were slightly underinflated basketballs. Poor kids knew about making basketball hoops from a milk crate. Kids with money had jump ropes; poor kids cut the power cords from old appliances.

     Televisions didn’t come with remote control; that was the job for the youngest brother or sister; they didn’t get to watch anything they wanted; they were responsible for channel changing and volume control. That one week during the summer when they unscrambled all the premium movie channels was the height of the year; that also meant the “Nudie channel”! Poor people couldn’t afford to call a tow truck; they called that friend who had straps or chains.

     The poor first aid kit had aspirin, adhesive bandage assortment, and peroxide. There were cough drops and half a bottle of cold medicine that was for emergencies only. If you had an athletic bandage, it was borrowed, or from that time, you HAD to go to the ER 3 years ago. Other than that, when you got sick, you were just sick and had to muddle through it.

     With government health care, by the time you got an appointment, you were better anyway. Sore throat? Warm water and salt. Temporary cough and throat relief, a spoonful of honey. There was no such thing as unpaid sick days; you couldn’t afford it, or you were scared to lose your job when they realized they could do without you.

     Poor people knew that one guy who had a 50-gallon drum cut in half with the piece of the metal fence over it: the ghetto BBQ grill. Poor people could make a single bag of charcoal last 4-5 cookouts; they added stones and bricks to the grill; hot is hot. Poor people couldn’t get drunk off regular beer; they had a high malt liquor tolerance.

     Poor kids extended the 5-second rule to 3 minutes, depending on what it was, what was stuck to it, or how long ago the floor was cleaned. Poor kids know about going back to check if anyone had put anything else in the garbage and if that half sandwich was salvageable.

     Poor people had a 5-minute phone limit because there was no call waiting. Friends couldn’t call until after business hours because someone was waiting to hear about a job. If you went to the bathroom and your parents heard the toilet flush, be prepared to disclose whether or not you had to pee or shit.

     Poor kids know about sharing deodorant. Kids with money know showers and fresh, hot bath water per person. Poor people know about taking baths in order of how dirty or stinky you were; being the 3rd person in the tub of the same water everyone else had to bathe in. You had to boil a pot of water to make the tub hot again. You were trying to get clean in a tub of partially warm chicken broth.

     Poor people know about living check to check because they had to, not because they were financially irresponsible. Poor people know about choosing food over bills. The final shutoff notice determined which bills got paid that month. There was no deciding between expensive sneakers and being late on rent. Rich and middle-class people know about choosing; poor people know about sacrifice. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APR 18, 2021


     He wants you to call out his name during sex because he wants you to talk to him; you’re not vocal at all. He wants you to talk dirty, but he has no imagination, experience, or spends WAY too much time online. The shit that turns him on from watching porn sounds good when he’s stroking his own, but it’s not the dialogue he’s interested in; it’s the sex. 

     He can’t get aroused by what he’s watching and what they’re saying at the same time, and his confusion is messing up his rhythm and his stroke. He can’t stay fully hard because he has too much on his mind. He can’t concentrate on getting off because he’s trying to watch, listen, and imagine the two of you acting out the scene and talking to him like that. He’s trying to rub his tummy, scratch his head, and bust a nut, all at the same time, and it’s not working right.

   Why does a man want you to call his name out loud when you’re having sex? That’s how you tell him he’s the shit. That’s how you tell him he’s hitting all the right spots, but he knows you have a problem with being vocal. He’s getting what he needs without making you feel awkward about saying anything that makes you feel ridiculous or uncomfortable.

     Men and women are more than capable of talking to other people how they want their partner to speak, but they can’t or won’t talk to each other that way. Moaning and heavy breathing is a woman’s reassurance tactic, while men tend to mutter one or two quick comments under their breath about how good it feels. She might throw out a “Damn or shit!” every so often, but it’s so general and random, it’s hard for him to get turned on by it. He can’t get motivated to get more out of her vocally. She may be enjoying the hell out of herself, but her lack of verbal reassurance, united with her just lying there, makes him think otherwise.

     It may seem silly to you when he tells you to say his name, but he’s giving you a way to give him what he needs and be considerate of your feelings in the process. He knows you’re not a dirty talker. He knows you’re uncomfortable with it. He knows your parents raised you a certain way, and talking like that would make them turn over in their graves if they thought you spoke like that, even though you can with your friends. He’s not upset or mad because you can’t say what he wants you to say. He knows you’re trying, and that means a lot to him. 

     Men are auditory creatures when it comes to sex; since you won’t say anything to get him excited to hit it better, slower, and harder, he’ll let your body do the talking for you. That’s why he turned you over to get it from behind. You can’t or won’t open your mouth to tell him anything, so he’ll ask your ass and hips for a performance report. He’ll grab you by the waist and pound into you, smacking your ass cheeks against his crotch, causing as much noise as possible. Your booty clapping around his shaft is your applause, the standing ovation you can’t give him. You can’t call out his name, but your ass is talking loud and clear!

    You don’t know what to say for the same reason; you have no imagination, no experience, and you feel weird and awkward talking dirty because you’re not comfortable saying words like “Dick, cock, pussy, cum, and fuck”. You can’t speak to him and tell him that he gives you some of the best sex you’ve ever had because you’ve been raised to believe that type of talk is something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You feel silly talking about your sex with him, but not too foolish to enjoy it. You’re both grown now, and it’s time to put that shit aside. Do what needs to be done to keep each other secure that your sex is still top-notch. It’s time to put away what other people think of you and put more into what makes you both feel good about being together sexually.

     He wants you to tell him how big he is and how he fills you up every time. He wants you to say to him you can barely take all of it. He loves your voice and wants to hear some nasty shit come out of your mouth, but he knows you’re not like that. He knows that’s an issue for you. He knows you’re not used to it, and you’re trying to give him what he wants, but it’s hard to break out of that shell and get past being taught women who talk like that are slutty and don’t respect themselves.

     He doesn’t want you to do or say anything that’s going to take away from experience, so he’ll meet you in the middle and tell you to say his name. That’s all he wants; that’s why he asks, “Who’s is it?” That’s why he makes comments like, “This is all mine; that ass belongs to me!” All he’s looking for is a YES! or some sort of agreement. Hell, you can nod your head up and down for all he cares. It doesn’t take much to bob your head up and down. He’s getting what he wants and needs when all you have to say is, “It’s all yours!” He gets his dirty talk, and you don’t have to be embarrassed by saying anything too off the wall.

     He wants you to say his name because he doesn’t know how to ask for anything else. He doesn’t know how to bring it up outside of the bedroom, so you don’t know what he wants to hear when you’re in the middle of having sex, and you’re only paying half attention to what’s coming out of his mouth. He’s trying to multitask sexually and verbally, plus trying his best to make sure you have an orgasm.

     He wants you to say his name out loud because you won’t say anything else. You can’t say anything without blushing and giggling like a damn schoolgirl when he’s trying to give you the grown-man goodness. That isn’t the time you think you’re funny and pretend to say another man’s name. Your laughing ruins the mood, and while you think it’s cute and funny to mock him or joke about it with a stupid voice, you do not realize this is serious for him. That’s not the time to laugh; you think he’s just being a man, but it’s an emotional thing for him, and he’s risking the confidence in his sexual ability every time you have sex, and he wants you to say something, say ANYTHING! His pride is on the line, and to him, you’re not taking it seriously.

     He’s asking you if you came or had an orgasm because that doesn’t require you to say anything dirty or nasty, but he still gets you to be vocal; both men and women need verbal as well as physical stimulation when having sex. That’s why he wants you to tell him when you’re cumming, “I’m cumming” It is simple to say; it’s not dirty or raunchy. It doesn’t require any dirty or nasty words, but it satisfies his need for dirty talk. Saying his name is more than just actually saying his name; it says more than that.

     Women want men to understand how important foreplay is to her; being vocal is important to men, and she has to understand that just as much as she enjoys his understanding. Don’t get caught in that stupid battle for bedroom power. Just because he doesn’t see the point in 30 minutes of foreplay, you’re just going to lie there and not give him what he needs, to be spiteful. You might as well not even be having sex because you’re both being assholes, and you’re using sex as behavior modification.

     You can say some of the craziest, most off-the-wall shit during sex, and he won’t care because you’re vocal. You can tell him he’s knocking bricks off your ass, and he doesn’t care; he knows what you mean. You can tell him he hasn’t shoveled the snow off the driveway like that in a while, and he’ll STILL understand what you’re talking about. You don’t have to say nasty words; say something. And if you can’t think of anything, if nothing comes to mind, say his name.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 31, 2021


     They recruited you, or you took it on yourself to play matchmaker. Your friend saw someone and pointed him out to you or the group. There’s someone you know, and you think they’d make a good couple. You all work together. As soon as he walked in the door, your friend commented, and you took that as a hint to get the ball rolling. Men will take the chance, walk over, and introduce themselves. Women will recruit their friends directly or indirectly by commenting how good he looks or enlist their girlfriend’s assistance if she’s shy.

     You saw him looking as well, and you took the hint. You either sent your man over to encourage him to come over, or you approached him yourself to nudge him. What happens when he tells you he’s flattered, but he was actually checking you out? Now you’re stuck in a situation where you have your shy friend on one side and a guy you’re also attracted to on the other, but you’ll feel like shit for taking him up on his offer to get to know each other.

     You went on your own or were sent over by your friend, and they’re watching. They’re trying not to look like they’re paying any attention, but they are. What do you do? Take him up on his offer for a drink and conversation, or do you insist on talking your friend up? You’re hoping he’ll drop his pursuit of your interest and talk to her. He’s a good-looking guy, and you really like his style and personality, and the longer you stand there talking to him, the less you’re thinking about the reason you walked over in the 1st place.

     They recruited you for a specific mission; to bring that man over to meet your friend, but his bunkers are hardened, and his defenses more advanced than you expected. The entire time you and your friends were checking him out, he was checking you out. You planned this to be a simple snatch and grab, but he had a counterattack you weren’t ready for. You’re cut off from your unit with no support or communication. Your battle plan’s crumbling, and you can’t even call on your friends to help without admitting the guy she’s interested in wants you instead.  

     Where do you go from here? Does “Girl code” apply? Does the unspoken obligation of loyalty apply in this situation? Is there a betrayal of friendship in the making when he tells you he likes you instead of your friend? How will she interpret the situation if/when you sit down, have a conversation, or take him up on his invitation for a drink or meal after work hours? Will she believe you really went over for her, or will she think you snaked him from behind her back? Will you concede and back away, even though you’re getting more into him the longer you talk to each other?

     Sooner or later, time will answer all those questions for you. It’s been twenty damn minutes, and you still haven’t gone back to your friends; it’s safe to assume she knows you’re no longer talking about her, and the two of you are hitting it off. When he stands up, takes your hand, and turns towards the dance floor, she knows it’s not about her anymore. The secrets out; do you remain faithful to your friendship and decline? If you’ve been standing there laughing, talking, and letting him get close, she already knows where your head is.

     Just because she “Saw him 1st” doesn’t give a woman exclusive rights to someone she’s interested in. They never met, so there’s no code violation. It would be different if they’d met and were getting to know each other, only to have him shift his interest after meeting you.

     The facts are simple; your friend pointed out a guy you’re both attracted to. She’s shy, so you went over to tell him that he should come over and meet her, but his interest is in you. He’s trying to get to know you, and you’re giving him your friends’ personal resume’. He doesn’t want to hear about her, and he wants to know about you, not because he’s an ass, but because he thought sending you over was a little juvenile than her prefers in the women he likes. Regardless, he’s trying to get to know you, and the longer you talk to him, the more interested you are in him.

     Should you continue to talk up your friend? If so, for how much longer? He’s clearly not interested, so why should you both miss out? His mind won’t change if you bring him over for an introduction; you’ll make him uncomfortable when he excuses himself and walks away because he believes you’re not interested or because he knows you’re not going to budge with hooking him with your friend. You hope he’ll be interested in your friend after meeting her; is that the right thing to do, or are you setting her up to get her feelings hurt and damage her already fragile self-image?

     There’s going to be a crossroads, all of which leads to the same destination. One, he comes over, introduces himself, and walks away, convinced your obligation to your friend will keep you from giving him a chance. Two, he meets your friend, then turns his attention back to you in front of her. Three, he comes straight out and tells you he doesn’t want to meet your friend, and while he respects your loyalty, if you’re dead set on passing him off, he’ll thank you and walk away. Lastly, you can sit down with him and hope your friend understands.

     Either way, he’s not into your friend, so why sell yourself short? What’s wrong with going after him? You just pumped your friend up to be this great person, so she should accept what is and be happy you met someone good for you.

     Are you obligated to say no even if there’s no girl code violation? If he’s a good friend, he’s a free game to the first person who shows initiative and approaches him. When you approached him for your friend, he made his feeling for you know. You never gave it much thought, but you’re putting serious thought into him for yourself since he brought it up. You risk offending him and running him off when you keep trying to push him off on your friend. You make him feel like property instead of a person, and he doesn’t see why he can’t have what he wants. You’re contracting him to somebody he doesn’t want and taking away his choice.

     Your mutual friends will be more critical of your decision to get to know him over your friend, but that’s not your problem. You had every intention of hooking them up with your friend, but things don’t always work as planned. They’ll see your actions as a violation of the girl code because they know you’re more outgoing and has fewer issues meeting men. They see it as out of all the guys you could have, and you ended up with the guy your friend was interested in.

     This doesn’t work for men because they have a different outlook on this situation. Jimmy and Johnny are out for the night, and they notice Sarah. Jimmy walks over and starts to talk Johnny up, but she’s more into Jimmy. When he introduces her to Johnny, and she’s clearly more into Jimmy, Johnny will “Resume” himself for about 10 minutes before he concedes, backs off, and moves on to let Jimmy and Sarah interact. Johnny assumes Jimmy’s out to hook up, and when he’s done with Sarah, He’ll step in and take his turn. If Jimmy and Sarah end up dating, Johnny won’t care; he won’t see it as a “Bro code” violation because by then, he would’ve already met someone else.

     If you feel that bad or torn about it, explain the situation to him and how you feel about talking to him in front of your friend. Exchange numbers and talk later. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 21, 2021


     Don’t think for one second; men are the only ones who hate condoms. Men try to get out of using a condom more openly; it’s more expected for them to want and try to go in raw without one. Women are just as reluctant to use a condom as men, depending on their endgame. Her awareness of personal safety keeps her common sense in check, so she’ll insist, even though she doesn’t really want to. She can’t stand condoms any more than he does, but she knows they’re important and necessary. Women go both ways when it comes to spur-of-the-moment sex; some can stop and wait for him to get one from his car or the other room. Some women can wait until the next time they’re together, but men don’t want to wait that long. Neither does she, but she knows it’s the right and safe thing to do. Some women believe sex with a condom loses spontaneity; when you have to stop and get one.

     Men don’t like the feeling of having a filled condom on after he’s released himself and gone soft. She thinks he looks weird or gross with a used, fluid-filled balloon hanging from his stump. He has to stop, pull out, dispose of it, slip on another, and come back for the next round. That’s takes away from the sensuality or the experience. She knows if he’s soft with a filled condom on, there’s still the risk of spillage or losing the condom altogether inside of her.

     Men are more vocal, defensive, and defiant when it comes to using a condom. Women have more of the same issues, and excuses men have than you think. Women don’t have to bring up not wanting to use protection so much because they know the man’s going to try to go in without it. She knows he’s going to try and talk her out of using one, so she doesn’t have to. Men avoid buying condoms in case he sees or meets a pretty woman at the store. She’ll notice he has them in his cart, and that tells her he’s having sex with at least one other woman. The same goes for men; they avoid women who have condoms in their shopping cart because he knows she will require them to wear one, and he can’t use the “I don’t have anything” excuse.


     She won’t buy condoms on her own because she’s embarrassed by the looks she gets when she put the box on the counter for purchase. She doesn’t want him to think she has an STD or sleeps around. Her reputation and image are important to her, and she’d rather risk her health than a negative impression. She’d rather sit at the health clinic or pharmacy, waiting on a prescription for antibiotics, than to be seen buying condoms.

     She’s been taught not to be difficult. She doesn’t want to inconvenience him or ruin the mood by making him stop to get one or stop altogether because he doesn’t have one. She feels like she teased him. She feels like she’s asking for a kidney or lung if she demands he wears one. She feels selfish because she’s the only one getting something out of it since he says he can’t feel anything with a condom. She doesn’t want him to think she believes he has something for her to be worried about.

     He says he can’t be satisfied or enjoy sex with a condom. He’ll lie about not being able to bust a nut because he’s numb from wearing a condom. She feels the same way; she says she can’t feel it either. He actually busted his nut, but she doesn’t know any better. She didn’t see the condom when he pulled it off, so she has to believe him when he says he didn’t cum; that’s why he went into the bathroom and flushed it. He got his nut off, and he’s no longer interested in having sex, but he’ll ask what’s the use in continuing if he can’t feel anything.

     He’ll give her trash dick and blame it on the condom. It doesn’t feel good, so she loses interest; their sex suffers drastically. She enjoys sex, but it’s not the same, so she won’t try as hard to do anything memorable or special. She doesn’t like condoms, and there’s no reason to go out of her way to make it special; that option flew out the window when the rubber wrapper ripped open.

     Women agree to have unprotected sex because she knows plenty of other women who’ll give them what he wants. She’ll give in to keep him interested. That’s a lie; he can still bust a nut; he wants the full feeling. He wants the ownership and bragging rights of talking her out of using a condom and exploding inside of her, which is what she wants just as bad as he does. It’s easier for her to sit back and let him think; he smooth-talked his way into not using one than her to risk having him think she lets every man inside her without one.

     There are condoms for women. But neither of them wants that because it’s still a condom, a barrier that keeps them both from the “Full feeling.” They’re not particularly fond of that option either. Women also say it doesn’t feel natural, or it feels like they’re not really having sex or making love; they’re just fucking. Using a condom makes her feel like she’s no different than a one-night stand, and a condom is what’s used with someone they just met or when they’re having sex with more than one person.

     Women won’t require a man to wear a condom because she wants to trust him and trust IN him enough to believe he doesn’t need one. He’s WAY too good-looking to have anything she should be worried about. He’s a nice guy. Men and women are more concerned about risking pregnancy over their health. They want to avoid a baby more than an STD. The reality and fear are more realistic for a woman because her sexual and reproductive health is monitored more closely than men. After all, she goes to a gynecologist and gets tested regularly for potential issues more than men.

     Men don’t worry about their sexual health as much until a woman tells him he needs to have himself checked or he develops symptoms. Men believe they’re impervious to STDs. They haven’t gotten anyone pregnant yet, so they don’t think they’re able to have kids. She can’t have any more kids. She doesn’t see the need for condoms because she’s on birth control.

     She’s only heard of or had experience with latex condoms, and she’s allergic. Other alternative materials seem too foreign or unnatural than rubber, and she won’t even try it. Condoms smell horrible. He has to stop and wash his hands between the rubber, lube, and spermicide after he slides it on. It smells even worse after all the lube has been worn off during the friction of use. She’s breathing through her mouth the whole time. She can’t go down on him while he’s wearing one because she’ll be choking and gagging the whole time.

     Women avoid using condoms with men she sees as relationship material. Not using a condom is the first step to dating exclusively on the way to a relationship. She didn’t use protection when she sucked and swallowed him; she figures if it’s safe to go down on him, there’s no reason they can’t go unprotected and have him shoot his load inside of her. Besides, condoms aren’t 100% anyway. Her friend got pregnant, and she used condoms, but what that friend didn’t tell her about were those times she had sex without one.

     She enjoys the same friction-based pleasure men get from unprotected sex. Condoms rob and cheat her out of a physical and emotional connection with a man. She’s turned on by feeling him shoot his load inside. She likes the claim he makes on her when he does. She enjoys feeling his head swell up right before he explodes. Taking him to the back of her throat and swallowing is orgasmic for her. The thought of sucking on rubber makes her not even want to do it. Condoms take away from the sensuality, feeling of commitment, and emotional intimacy. They’ve been together long enough not to need them anymore.

     No matter how much he complains or resists, it’s still up to her to insist he wears one or not; “if he can’t wrap it, he can’t tap it!” It’s her choice to let him inside of her unprotected. He can walk away mad and pissed off all he wants; he can stomp his feet and never talk to her again, he can call her every name under the sun, and it’s still ultimately her choice to have unprotected sex.

     It’s hard for her to get or stay wet with a condom. It’s difficult for him to stay hard or last long if he’s wearing a condom. He’s telling her sex is boring and uneventful when he has to wear one. Her pride is at stake, as well as her confidence in her ability to please and keep her man, so she’ll agree to go unprotected. Condoms; 30 minutes of protection; 18-year sentence with a child, or a life sentence with an STD. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 11, 2021


     Walk up and say hello or keep walking. You look creepy as hell when you walk by, see somebody you want to talk to, and you either stop and stare or give some fucked up stalker look, thinking it’s your sex face. You look creepy as fuck with your chin tucked into your chest, head tilted slightly to the side, and your eyes wide open. That shit isn’t sexy; you look like a fucking zombie who wants to eat her brains or a psycho who wants to chew on her hair. Things you think are sexy have the opposite effect, and you’re not turning her on; you’re scaring the shit out of her, even if she thought you were cute, to begin with.

     You’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re not a player, and you’re nowhere near as smooth as you think you are. Just be yourself, and if she likes you, she’ll like you for you. You don’t need to impress her with some fake shit; you’re going to end up fading to black after a while. When your true nature comes out, you’ll look like an ass. You’re trying to look like the super-seductive guys in the movies. First of all, you don’t look like the guys on TV, you’re not built like the guys on TV, and you aren’t making the same money as the guys on TV.

     What you don’t say is just as important and effective as what you say, and timing makes all the difference. When a woman asks you to tell her about who you are, that isn’t an invitation to impress her with the car you bought or the rims and Blue-ray player you just had installed in your dashboard. She’s asking about you, not what you have or just bought. She’s not asking about your house or the watch you keep fiddling with, hoping she’d notice. If that’s what she’s asking about, you don’t want that type of woman anyway. Please don’t talk about your ex and why you broke up because she knows she isn’t going to get to the whole truth anyway. You may not come right out and lie, but you’re going to make yourself look more like the victim than the truth.

     You think you have this semi-smooth, semi-seductive look on your face when you walked past and checked her out, but what she saw was some sort of half-man, half Komodo dragon. You think you look sexy when you lick your lips, but she sees you as having ashy lips. You’re sucking and biting your bottom lip, thinking you’re giving her wet panties, but you really look like you’re trying to hide a big ass cold sore or mouth Herpes. Your eyebrows look weird because, like everyone else in the world, there should be two of them. You don’t know how to shave. Your chin, neck, and back of your head look like a crispy rice chocolate bar.

     You think your eyes say, “I want you,” but they really say, “Run for your fucking life; I’m here to kill you!”. If there’s more than one woman in the group, none of them can tell which one you’re really looking at because your creepy fucking stare is all over the place, unfocused on just one person. It looks like you’re looking through them, and it’s hard to pinpoint your intentions. They’re not looking back at you because they’re talking about how hot you are; they’re trying to figure out which one of them is going to have to ask security to escort them to their car when they leave.

     You think you’re the shit, so you stumble out on the dance floor, walk up behind her, put your dick on her back and start grinding on her. At first, she thinks you’re cute because you haven’t said anything yet to show how fucking weird you are. Then you grabbed her by the hips and started butt-banging her. After 2-3 songs, you’ve dry humped her enough to where you busted a nut in your pants. You came back from the restroom and thought you would get laid, so you start acting as she belonged to you. It didn’t get that far, and after one dance, you’re trying to hold her hand and act like you’re together, which doesn’t sit well with her at all. She’s just out with her friends having fun, and you’re trying to land her into a full-blown relationship by the end of the night.

     She’s not playing coy when she turns away each time you walk by. You keep looking at her with one eye wide open and the other half squinted. You look like she just dumped hot bacon grease in your lap by the look on your face. When she says, “No,” it doesn’t mean try harder or come back later. No means no, plain and simple. She’s trying to be nice, but you don’t get the hint. She doesn’t want to sample your drink. Especially from the same straw you’ve had in your mouth all night or just put your nasty ass finger on so she can suck it out. If she wanted a taste, she would’ve asked or ordered her own. The last thing she wants is you shoving something that could be germ-infested, spiked, or backwashed. She already said no thanks, so why are you still trying to shove your glass in her face?

     You smell like smoke or pot when you walk by, and she’s praying you won’t stop and try to talk to her. The look on your face tells her she’s not that lucky. You’ve walked by way too many times with that fucked up look and finally had enough alcohol in your system to where you don’t give a damn about getting turned down or being embarrassed by any negative reaction. You keep trying to put your arm around her waist with that serial killer look in your eyes, and she’s scared to death of rejecting you, so she told you she’d take YOUR number, hoping that’ll be good enough. You keep trying to take her phone and put your number in, but she knows as soon as you do, you’re going to call yourself so you can have hers, and she doesn’t want that.

      Why does she look so pissed off? Because you’re the 5th guy in 30 minutes to walk up and ask her why she looks pissed off. You don’t need to be all up in her ear, especially when your breath smells like shit or B. O. You’re creeping her out with your fucked up looks, soaking her ear with all your slobber, and burning her nose with stank-ass.

     You’ll stare at the woman at the stoplight, thinking she’s just going to roll down the window and fall for you at first sight. You actually think you’re going to convince her to follow you to a drugstore parking lot or gas station to exchange numbers or hook up with you later. Better yet, you’re hoping your crazy fucking look of desperation or psychosis will coax her from the bus stop and into your car; what’s even worse is when you’re riding in the passenger seat. Your stereo’s blasting and she knows it’s that loud so nobody can hear her scream for help.

     Stop hitting on women at the free clinic. You got some shit wrong with your dick; that’s why you’re there. She’s there for the same reason, and you figure you both can hook up while the antibiotics work their way through your systems. You’ve got cauliflower growing from the tip of your dick, and she’s got bread dough pouring out from between her legs, but you could care less. Your crazy ass stare says she can be the bread bowl, and you’ve got all types of vegetable-looking things growing on your dick. Between the 2 of you, you can make one hell of a pot pie!

     You wanted her to think you were more popular than you are, so you made sure she noticed you walking up to every woman in the spot to say hello. Instead of impressing her with how many people you knew, you actually turned her off. Any man who tries that hard to be liked by so many women will turn off a woman. She thinks you’re a player who wants to add her to the pile of conquests you already have under your belt. You walked by with your phone up to your ear like you were talking to someone about important business, and it worked for you pretty well. You got her to notice you; that is until your phone actually rang, then she knew you weren’t talking to anyone!

     Your constant walking back and forth in front doesn’t give her the safest feeling about you. You think you’re showing interest, but she thinks you’re waiting for her not to pay attention so you can slip something in her drink. She thinks you’re a fucking psycho more and more each time you walk by. She notices you, and she knows you keep walking by, staring at her. She doesn’t smile back because she thinks you’re cute; she’s smiling back because you look like you have some form of facial deformity or birth defect, and she’s showing support for you being comfortable enough to go out in public with your face looking like you’re taking a shit on yourself.

     At the gym, you look weird as fuck following someone around, trying to work out right next to them. You’re bouncing your creepy fucking stare off 3-4 different mirror angles, and that makes you look even more like you need Holy water and a fucking exorcism instead of protein or pre-workout. You’ve tried to meet them at the water fountain countless times, and believe me, they notice, but not in the way you want them to.

     Where’s the confusion between what you think is sexy and what you’re actually putting out in the air? You think you’re overflowing with sensuality and masculinity, but you’re actually oozing fear, stank, and a lack of personality.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 03, 2021


     Why do so many men have to be players? Maybe you should be asking what made him that way. Do guys wake up one day and decide to bullshit women and tell them what they think they want to hear, to get some ass? Maybe his dad or friends influenced him to think with his dick instead of his head or heart. It also could be because women built him to be a player. They broke him down and reassembled him into the filthy piece of shit you called him after you found out you weren’t the only woman he was messing with.

     Did you tell him you didn’t NEED a man; you WANTED a man? Every time you told him that, you told him he had limited value, and you had one foot out the door. You told him if he pissed you off or if you didn’t get your way, you were out the door. Every man wants to be needed, and if he’s with you, he wants you to need him. You confused NEED with NEEDY. You thought he was going to stay where he’s not needed. True, if he wasn’t happy with the situation, he should’ve just ended it, but he liked you and was hoping sooner or later, you’d realize how stupid your statement was.

     Women complain that men make them the way they are; guarded, bitter, hard to trust, etc. Why’s it’s so hard to believe women can’t break a good man down and resurrect him into a player? He was a damn good, decent man at one point and was totally against the player role. He wasn’t even thinking about the player mentality until you made him one. You were dating or getting to know more than one guy. You planned to slowly weed them out until the best choice for you was left, but you wanted all of them to put their best foot forward to prove themselves to you. How’s that any different from men who do the same with women? Is it just because he’s having sex with them? That may be fucked up, but how’s that any different than you going out with the same number of men and allowing them to pay for everything with nothing in return?

     You’re not sure if you’re ready, but you put yourself out there like you were. You’re online with profiles on several dating sites. You’re frequently attending singles night events, and you even tell guys you’re single and looking for a good man. You found one who’s interested in you and wants to put the time, effort, and availability to be with you. Then, you turn around to say you’re not ready after a month or two while he’s getting attached to you. You’ve got too much going on, and you just realized you don’t have the time, or you haven’t truly healed from your last breakup. You couldn’t have figured that out any sooner than right then, and thereafter, he’s developed feelings for you.

     You’re not as available as you claimed to be with two jobs, kids, and all their activities. Personal issues. Breakup or divorce you’re not healed from. You made it easy for him to become a player because you weren’t honest with him or yourself about wanting more than just a fuck. You thought if you told him you wanted a relationship, you’d run him off, and now he only sees you as a fuck with no hope of commitment. He’s thinking sex is what you’re about with every guy you’re going out with. You’ve engrained the “You can’t turn a whore into a housewife” mentality in his head about you, all because you were afraid to tell him the truth about what you really wanted.

     You like him, but you’re not over your ex. You want him to wait for you, but you want him to wait for you while you go out and spread your wings. You want him, but not just yet. You want to keep him around because he’s dependable and respectful. He never pressures you or makes you feel like you owe him anything. You feel like you need to see what else is out there before you settle down again. You know he’s a good man, but you’re not ready for a good man yet; there’s so much you’ve missed out on by getting married so young and staying in the relationship too long.

     He’s been burned by putting all his eggs in one basket, only to have the basket smacked out of his hand, smashing his eggs on the floor. His solution is to have multiple eggs in multiple baskets, so if something happens to one, he has another basket of eggs to take to market. You’re playing hard to get, and you think it’s cute, funny, or you think it makes him want you more. To him, you’re playing a stupid fucking game, and he decided to do the same to you.

     “I’m talking to somebody.” What the fuck does that even mean? You were talking to someone else while you were going out with him, and you want to give the other guy a chance because you think they’re a better fit. You gave this guy a chance, and now it’s only fair to give the other guy the same chance, so you want him to step back and wait while you weigh your options.

     You’re ambiguous as hell about wanting to be with him, but you want to make sure the guy you REALLY want isn’t breaking up with his girlfriend anytime soon. He’s your alternate since your primary’s already taken, and you know as soon as he’s available, you’ll sideline the other; after jumping back and forth, it’s only a matter of time before the alternate gets burned so many times he’ll turn to ash and re-emerge as a Phoenix-level player.

     He thought you liked him. He thought you liked him because you told him you liked him, and your body language said you liked him. You enjoyed spending time together, and everything’s going great. You waited until you got home to text him; you didn’t feel the spark, and you weren’t interested in seeing him again AFTER you told him to his face you wanted to see him again. Maybe it was the 10 minutes of making out at your car that gave him the wrong idea about your interest, to have you change your mind 15 minutes or the car ride home later. You’ve been going out for a couple of weeks, and out of the blue, you ended it because your ex came back into the picture, and you’re going to try again to make it work. Even though you like him, your friends convinced you that you were too young or it’s too soon after your breakup or divorce to get serious about anyone.

     When it’s just the two of you, you have the best time; but when your friends come around, you pull a 180 and turn into something else. You treat him like you’re too good for him, and you can do without him. You make him feel unimportant, and you could care less if he stayed or went because there are plenty of guys out there who wants to hit that shit. You’re doing him a favor by being with him. You let your friends laugh at or talk shit about him because he’s not on their level or fit their mold for you. You don’t stand up for him at all.

     You’re not the same person sober as you are drunk. You call him a player because the only time you’re fun to be around is when you’ve had a few drinks; otherwise, you’re pretty fucking boring, and he’s not about to finance your drinking in order to spend time with you. You’re cool as hell at the bar or the club, but other than that, he wants nothing to do with you; and by your standard, that makes him a player. You made him into a player.

     You stopped doing what you did when you first met. You wore sexy dresses, makeup, and heels. You made time to go out on dates, and the sex was wild and incredible. You actually put effort into how you looked when you went out with your friends or when you first started dating. In the beginning, you supported and encouraged him, but now it seems you could care less, so he found someone who gave him that.

     That’s no different than women who cheat or end their relationships for men who pay more attention to them and give them what their man wouldn’t. Women won’t understand or agree because it points out that women do the same thing. Maybe that man has a credible defense for being a player; it blatantly points out her equality in manufacturing him into a player.

     You use sex as a bargaining chip, a reward, or punishment. You ration sex according to how he behaves or what he does for you. You’re always threatening to leave, or you walk out on him every time you get pissed off. You’re gone for a few days, giving him time and the opportunity to meet other women. You make it hard for him to unleash his inner freak or come at you with a fantasy. Some of his ideas may be weird as fuck, but others are completely doable; you’re just too worried about how you’d look to others or where he got the idea from.

     You disappeared after 1-2 dates. You took his number and never called, or you sent him a text later that night to say you really weren’t interested or you were in a relationship, but thanks for the drinks. You allowed him to sit there all night, off the market, knowing you had no interest. You ask why men always have to have more than one woman because he’s thinking like a farmer; the more seeds he plants, the more crops he can harvest. Just like a woman who dates more than one man, she’s trying to find the best candidate for what she wants, but she wants something from each of them; she wishes she could take the qualities she wants and create a superhero.

     You turned him into a player by showing him that’s what you’re attracted to. You wanted him to be different; you wanted a thrill-seeking bad boy who treated you like a princess instead of a good, faithful, solid, caring man who treated you like a queen. You made him a player. He was a good man until your bullshit put a sour taste in his mouth and ice where his heart used to be. You got involved with him, knowing you weren’t compatible, hoping you could change him. You took him off the market under false pretenses, then got mad when he turned into a player and cheated on you or dumped you for someone else.

     Before you say it, you’re right; he didn’t have to turn into a player. He could’ve just walked away to play the field or be with someone else, but your bullshit didn’t surface until his emotions were invested. As a woman, you know how hard it can be to walk away when your heart’s in it. Leaving is easier said than done.

     There’s truly no great excuse for anyone to play games with anyone for any reason. The next time You ask why men are players, ask yourself what happened that could turn him into a player. Ask about the bullshit women put him through in his past that made that good man a player. He sure as hell wasn’t born that way you made him that way.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


FEB 21, 2021


     What's the purpose of trying to change someone? Even if YOU believe it's for the best, trying to get, someone to change leads nowhere but downhill faster than the speed of sound. Why would you want someone to change who they are? Eventually, they're going to revert right back to what's natural and organic. Believing you should change something about yourself is even hard to do. No one likes to change. The older we get, the harder it is to uproot ourselves and change.

     The truth is change is something to be done because you WANT to change, not because you think you should, or it's the best thing for you to do. Smoking, for example, people know they SHOULD stop smoking; they know it would be better for their health to stop smoking, but until they genuinely WANT to stop, the change will only be temporary.

     The realistic consequences of putting someone in the position to change to keep them around or for someone else will cause that person to rebel, become dismissive, or defiant. They'll resent you for trying to change them. They'll see it as you tell them they aren't good enough or don't deserve you the way they are. Granted, certain things may not mesh with your ideas, beliefs, or goals. But in reality, those things should've been discussed, weighed, and measured a hell of a lot sooner than later. Being honest with each other from the beginning and looking at the bigger picture would've spared you both the misery in trying to change and being asked or required to change.

     Some things are pretty easy and reasonable to change; others can be a little harder but possible. Some things are just fucking ridiculous to think can be changed. People are just as stupid for thinking they can change someone as the person they believe needs to change.

     It's ignorance in its purest form to expect someone to stop drinking, smoking, or drugs. Someone you know may complain continuously about not getting a good job, but they just don't want to wait. If he was a bum who didn't want to work when you met, chances are he'll be a bum on your 2nd anniversary; you can't expect them just to jump up and change their routine of sitting on your couch, driving your car, and mooching off you. You can force a homebody to change and want to go out every other weekend suddenly. You can't turn a party guy into a binge-watching homebody. You can't force a shy person to be more outgoing, and you can't calm down the life of the party.

     You absolutely, positively, can't/won't under any circumstance change someone's religion, NO MATTER WHAT!

     You can't change the way someone dresses. If she was dressed like a soccer mom when you met, don't try to change her into a short, tight dress-wearing centerfold two years later. Suppose he embarrassed you on the first date with his "Gangster gear," consisting of sagging skinny jeans, sunglasses, a backward ball cap, and a t-shirt with a cartoon character smoking weed on it. In that case, He's going to embarrass you on your 2nd anniversary when you're heading to the car on your way to a nice dinner, and he has on a ball cap and, "Doo-rag." with a bandana hanging out his back pocket.

     You can't turn a meat-eater into a vegetarian/vegan and vice-versa. You're not going to force someone to give up burgers, pizza, beer, or cigarettes. Just because you're working out and taking a more active interest in your health and fitness doesn't mean someone else has to. Trying to get someone to change their physical appearance tells them you have an issue with how they look. You'll never convince someone to have the body you want them to have until they're ready to make those changes. That's YOUR choice, and asking or trying to change someone to match your interest makes you an unfair ass. Even if the goal is for them to be healthy, that's still up to them. You can't force a person with diabetes to follow their treatment plan if they don't want to; it may take having a severe reaction or the loss of a limb to get them to realize the need for change. Some people just might need that stroke to get them to change the way they treat their bodies. Again, that change has to be their own decision.

     You can't force someone to change or give up their friends just because you think they're a terrible influence. They may very well be the scourge of the earth, but that means nothing to them. Unless they're ready to walk away from those people, you're banging your head against a brick wall. HIS friends are all players, and HER friends are party girls. HIS friends smoke weed all day, and HER friends want her to go out every weekend and meet other men. She thinks he's goofy and can't take anything seriously. He thinks she's always serious and can't relax.

     She thinks he's too old for video games; he should be doing more "Grown-up" things. His hobbies and interests are juvenile or boring. Priorities. She thinks he should concentrate more on his career and climbing the corporate ladder than his drone racing or monster battle card collection. You're into PDA, and they're not. You're not going to force your sexual requirements or needs onto anyone. You're not going to change someone's mind into doing something they have no interest in doing. Oral. Anal. Multiple partners. If that's what you're into, don't date or get into a relationship with someone who's not into any of that. It's better to be an ass for walking away because she won't suck your dick than to be a piece of shit for fucking around on her for someone who does blow you.

     Getting into a relationship with someone who wants kids when you don't is just plain fucking stupid on your part. Nothing would make you a bigger fucking idiot than to even put yourself in that situation. You deserve every shitty thing that happens in your relationship if you're guilty of this.

     Accepting people won't change unless THEY want to be the only way change will occur and take hold with lasting potential. No matter how much you love someone, how much they love you, no matter how much they KNOW they should change, and it would be the best thing for them to change unless they genuinely WANT to change. You're staring down the business end of a loaded, double-barreled failure, with a hair-trigger and a drunk, half-blind hillbilly behind it.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


FEB 07, 2021


     He won't change because he has no reason to; he has all the power. He doesn't want to have to re-train someone new. He doesn't want to risk running into someone who'll call him out on his bullshit or who'll send his ass back to the bricks when he gets out of pocket and acts a fool. He won't change because he's the center of attention. You do whatever he tells you. Your kids do what he tells them. He controls the house, the finances, the cars, where you go, who you see, what time you get home, and whether or not you're allowed to step out the front door. He won't change because, in the eyes of his friends, he's "The man" He knows if he badgers you long enough, you'll give in.

     She won't change because you won't put your foot down and be a man. She makes the real money, and you'd rather stay home, playing video games and smoking weed. Working part-time at the local gas station and jacking off to internet porn is better for your life. Not having the drive or initiative to go out and get a real job is why she won't change. You're content with sleeping until late afternoon in her bed and letting her give you a fucking allowance. She won't change because that's HER car you're driving around in. You won't disagree with or upset her because it's HER place, and you don't pay for shit. She won't change because she controls the pussy.

     Being in a controlling relationship is never a good thing, whether you're the controller or the controlled. It's a big ass pile of explosives, waiting for the right spark to ignite that shit and blow the fuck up. Both physically and mentally, when someone takes control of a relationship, nothing good can come from it. You're destined for a relationship full of possible physical and mental abuse, heartache, pain, humiliation, degradation, exclusion, and isolation.

     While both men and women can be controlling, men are more physically dominating than women. Men isolate their partners from their friends and family, creating a total dependency on the controller for their identity. They cease having their own name and become property, "That's Jimmy's lady or Sam's wife." You no longer have a first name for him or his friends. They constantly criticize; nothing's ever good enough for their standards; the bathroom isn't clean enough. The chicken's too damn dry. The laundry doesn't smell like fresh linen. Your meatloaf doesn't taste like his mom's. He threatens her. His love comes with conditions. He'd love you more if you lost a few pounds if you're dyed/cut your hair. If you made more money, he'd be nicer to you. He's built a sizeable amount of debt between the two of you, and he knows your credit will suffer if you leave him. His jealousy, accusations, and paranoia is matched only by his anger. He doesn't respect her need for alone time. She can't go out with her friends or even to the store for apple juice without him flipping the fuck out. He makes all the decisions... He makes you earn his trust or any good, decent treatment whatsoever.

     He treats you like shit if you don't believe what he does or if you disagree with him. From his religion to what type of movies you watch, it doesn't exist or matter to him if he doesn't like it. It's not important; YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT! He makes you feel unworthy; your job, the amount of money you bring in, education, none of that measures up to what he brings to the table. He teases you about your flaws, and he knows what buttons to push to make you feel like shit. He criticizes the way you look, your weight, your clothes, etc. Your ass is too big or not big enough. Your tits are saggy. He makes you feel inadequate in the bedroom. Sex with you is a fucking chore, an obligation. He makes you do things in bed you're uncomfortable with. He doesn't respect your point of view, and your beliefs are insignificant. He discourages your goals and interests. Going back to school, getting a better job, losing weight, taking on new interests. To him, your place is at home, catering to him.

     Women keep score; "You did this, so I'm going to do that." She'll spy, stalk, and snoop through every text, email, and call in your phone log, looking for evidence of something. She'll subconsciously create shit that's not even there. She convinced you're fucking around on her, and she just hasn't caught you yet. You're guilty until she's satisfied you're innocent, but we all know she'll NEVER believe in your innocence. She's demanding. She constantly argues over BS.

     She's ALWAYS right. She wants things HER way and will get pissed when she doesn't get it. She controls the sex. She wants 100% of his time, money, attention, and affection. She'll go as far as to put him in a position to choose between her and his children. She blames you for other women checking you out. It's YOUR fault because you work out. It's YOUR fault you have a coworker who likes you. She exaggerates her role in the relationship and belittles your contribution. She's never satisfied with how much you make, the gifts you give, or the time you have for her. She questions your motives behind everything; if you bring home flowers, you MUST have done something wrong. She humiliates you in public. They threaten to leave you every other fucking day. You're not allowed to have a personal life at all. She compares you and your relationship to others. Jimmy bought his wife a diamond ring. Paul took his kids to an amusement park for their vacation. The smiths down the street went to Europe for their anniversary, so by proxy, YOU have to one-up them to please her. She rubs other men in his face. Johnny at work tells her all the time how hot she is. Darius wants to fuck her so bad. So-and-so would give her the world if she asked for it.

     People wonder why someone would stay in a controlling relationship. Leaving is far easier said than done. They started off nice. They're charming and great to be around, as long as they're getting their way. The sex is amazing. You feel as if you deserve the treatment you're getting; you don't believe anyone else wants you. Being with someone who treats you like shit is better than being alone. You don't know any better. You believe you can change them. You love them. There's nothing healthy about having a controlling partner; that shit will fuck you up on the inside and the outside. A controlling relationship will not only fuck your head up but will stick with you for a long time, and will affect your future relationships, whether you want it to or not. When you've finally had enough, take the time to heal and ensure you have the closure you need to approach your next or future relationship with an open mind and heart. Be aware of the behaviors and warning signs of a controlling partner. Communicate your feelings, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. The controller or the controlled; neither is a role that'll earn you an award.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JAN 10, 2021


     We want what we can't have, from rights and freedoms to acquisitions and opportunities. Sometimes we don't realize or even think about the things we can't have until we're told we can't have them. We're notorious for wanting things just because we're told we can't have them; they mean little to nothing to us until we've been denied access. We see things as privilege, as something we're owed or have a right to, just because someone else does. We often turn away from things that are available to us, as long as we have access to them, but as soon as they're taken away or are no longer an option, we get our asses in a vice grip about having a right to it.

     As a society, we will walk past the healthier foods in the grocery store and head straight for the bullshit that makes us overweight and unhealthy. We prepare our foods in animal fat, lard, and grease. We'll question the ethnic pride of someone who doesn't eat the "Traditional" foods of their particular race that may be dangerous to their long-term health. We pack our plates as if we're NEVER going to have another meal in our fucking lives. We make fun of those who choose to consume healthier foods or focus on their weight, diet, and fitness. We choose alcohol and cigarettes over better food choices. We'll even position our children to consume the same shit that leads their parents to issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc.

     On the other hand, what if, by some situation, those same people were told the same bullshit they've been stuffing themselves with for years was the only thing they could ever have going forward? What if we were told we could only have fried foods, instead of broiled or baked? What if we were told we could ONLY have soda or energy drinks, and fruit juice or water was denied for consumption? What if we were told how we cook and eat now was the ONLY way we could cook or eat for the rest of our lives? There would be riots in the streets, DEMANDING the same access to healthier foods! We want what we can't have; it's not a matter of even wanting it in the first place; it's about not being denied what everyone else has access to.

     We want what we can't have because we can't have it. We complain about things we can't have, even though we don't even want them. We feel the need to speak up for access and opportunities we're not even interested in. That supervisor's position at work you haven't given a second thought is now your primary focus. Only AFTER management declared it was a position they were only looking to fill with someone with a degree, even though you could do it with your eyes closed. You didn't give it any attention until the option was taken away from you. You never gave thought to the idea of going to the gym you signed up for and have been paying $30/month for the past 4 years, until AFTER you got that letter stating no one over/under a certain weight could work out there. NOW you want to go; just because you fall in the category of the restriction.

     Relationships are no different; we don't want someone as long as no one else does. We don't give them the time of day until AFTER they start seeing someone else or someone else has taken an interest in them. As long as they're around when we want them to be, as in friends with benefits. We don't want to settle down with just one person, satisfied with just a sexual agreement, until that one time they tell you they're not available for sex, they don't answer their phone, or when they tell you, they've moved past your agreement. We don't want to listen to our partners when they're asking for something reasonable in the relationship, such as verbal affirmation, more time together, or affection. As soon as the relationship ends or too late to salvage, the other person will try to do whatever they can to give what they've been asked to give. Or even better, they will get pissed off when they see someone else giving their ex everything they denied them. Some people have issues with their partner showing PDA until they stop, then they get bent in the ass, wondering what the fuck happened. THEN they want it.

     Many times we don't even know we want something until we're told we can't have it. Things that have absolutely nothing to do with us will become a front-line focus when we learn others can't have it. We'll even fight for other people to have things we don't even agree with, just because THEY'RE told they can't have it. We'll stick our nose where it doesn't belong because of something someone else can't have, just because they can't have it. We would've and could've gone our entire lives, not having access to things in life and not missing out on a damn thing. Just learning it's off-limits to us is enough to get our underwear up our asses and put ourselves on the front line of any crusade to get it. Something as simple as music, for example. Tell a die-hard fan of rap who condemns country music with every breath they can't EVER buy a country album will find a reason to complain, just because they're told they can't have it.

     People bitch about having the right to vote, but they don't. Rest assured, they have plenty to say when elected officials do things they disapprove of. Tell someone who hasn't voted for 3 years in a row they've lost their right to vote and watch them turn bitch and want it. We want what we can't have. Tell someone satisfied with working the grill at a fast-food joint for the last 5 years they can never apply for any other job, and watch them turn bitch. We fight for anything we can't have. Tell a 15-year retail store cashier they can never apply for a management position, and they're on the phone to the corporate office, claiming discrimination. We want what we can't have. As long as we can see it, we don't want it; as long as it's an option, we'll walk right past it. Take that option away and watch us freak the fuck out about it. We want what we can't have.



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