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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


AUG 01, 2021


      You broke up to see what else is out there or what you’ve been missing out on by being tied down; what made you think they wouldn’t do the same after you left? You ended the relationship, and as far they were concerned, it was over, and you both were moving on. Why are you pissed off because you can’t go back when you realized you messed up and walked away from a great thing or things didn’t go the way you planned?

      You left with the idea that you were so much a part of their lives they couldn’t live or move on past you. You thought you were the A-list celebrity, and they were playing a supporting role or comic relief. You thought you had a grace period to explore other options, and you could come back within a certain time frame. Still, your relationship, much like buying a firearm in Arizona, had no waiting period, and it only took a short while for them to move on to something better than you.

      You thought you’d try to renegotiate your contract and had the leverage to take your time or demand more. You did the dumping, so why are you the angry one? You wanted your hall pass or your freedom, and now you have it. You grabbed the key to the restroom at the gas station, thinking as long as you had them, you controlled how long others had to wait until you were finished using the facilities. Still, there’s a separate men’s AND ladies' room, and you got pissed because they didn’t need to wait on you to get done and return the key. They finished before you and took off, leaving you stranded.

      You ended the relationship, so why are you mad when they’re the ones who should be? They found someone better, and you’re still looking. All the options you thought you were missing out on were never there; you were the victim of your own hallucinations. You don’t even have a reason for the breakup, other than telling them things weren’t working out, or you feel like you’re drifting apart. It would be best if you had been honest with yourself, at least, about why you were leaving and realized you were taking the risk of not being able to backtrack.

      You have this idea in your head that when you’re single, you can’t find anyone, but as soon as you’re in a relationship, men and women seem to come out of the woodwork to get at you, but that’s untrue; women are just nicer to you because they know you’re in a relationship and hope you’re a good person who won’t cheat. So they don't see you as a threat or think you’re going to act like every other man and hit on them.

      Are you really mad at them for moving on or at yourself because you just lost the game you invented and made the rules for? They played by your rules and still emerged on the better end than you. Are you mad because you got beat when you were making up the rules as you go along, and you were still defeated? Is it because you were defeated by someone who didn’t even know they were playing?

      You spent countless hours training your muscles to react without looking at the controller, learning all your characters' fighting moves, and honing your skills until you were a lethal arcade game assassin ready to take on all challengers. Then, you were defeated by someone who picked up the second controller, moved the stick from side to side, and just mashing buttons at random, and you had your ass handed to you.

      You wanted them to wait until you were done playing or realized you weren’t as good at the game as you thought you were. But then, you found out you weren’t the star of your team; they were the franchise player making all the shots and scoring all the points. For every shot you missed, they were the ones fighting for the rebound and feeding the ball back to you. It was someone else who got your team to the championships, not you.

      You left your relationship for someone else over something you never asked them for; you wanted someone to read your mind or offer what you wanted without you having to ask for it. You couldn’t communicate; you wanted a mind reader. You wanted to prove you were the best they’d ever meet, but they found better than you when you left. You thought they were holding you back from meeting your soulmate, but it was you who kept them from finding the best for themselves. You weren’t wasting your time with them; they were wasting their time with you!

      You didn’t have a change of heart; you always knew you were going to want to come back; you just wanted to walk away for a while because there was someone you wanted to mess around with and didn’t want to be a cheater. You wanted to see if there was anything new swimming around.

You wanted to visit all your old hangouts to see if anything new was going on and when you realized there was nothing there but the same people, doing the same thing as they were when you were single, you wanted to come back.

     You got older, and all the men and women you thought wanted you but knew you weren’t available would be nipping at your heels. Still, they’re all older and wrinkled and as desperate as you are and out doing the same thing you are, trying to see if there’s anything new or anything new going on. You wanted a hall pass, an extended bachelor or bachelorette party experience with all the expectations, acceptance, and understanding, but without accountability and none of the guilt.

      Your pride’s already in the shitter; you might as well swallow the rest of it and deal with the reality that you walked away from a good thing for something that wasn’t guaranteed to be there in the first place or hoping to find something new. Instead, you’re going to have to deal with the emotional storm or navigate the barren wasteland of your own doing.

      By the off chance you do stumble into someplace new, your line ticket says 183, and the prospects you’re trying to hook up with just called out “Serving number 17”.

      Choose your stupid; 1. Thinking they were going to wait for you 2. Thinking you could come back. 3. Leaving in the first place. 4. Getting mad because you can’t go back.

      You left for someone who made more money; that doesn’t mean you’ll ever have access to it or spend it on you. You left for someone who had a better body or a bigger, thicker ass, but that also doesn’t mean she’s going to let you hit it from behind.

      Accept you can’t go back, even if they may want to take you back. You won’t be able to convince them you won’t run again. They know you’ll always have a thought or doubt about if you’re doing the right thing by being together, and they put a leash on their feelings for you and the limits of your relationship. You’re now a dog, confined to the limits of the fence you constructed yourself, and you’re pissed because they don’t trust you enough to even take to the park and run around with the other dogs.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUL 25, 2021


      He doesn’t want to date you; he wants to have sex with you. He’s not sure if he wants to date you, but he definitely wants to have sex with you. There’s something about you that makes him want you, but he can’t put his finger on it. You’re not the type of woman he normally dates, but when he sees you, he wants you. He doesn’t know if he’s attracted to you, but he REALLY wants to have sex with you. He feels guilty about it because he’s normally not like that; he’s not a “Hit it, and quit it” type of guy, but there’s something physically about you that makes him want to be that way with you.

      The solution? He’ll convince himself he likes you, or he’ll find enough of your physical appearance attractive to justify pretending he likes you. He’ll talk himself into liking you to keep from feeling like a jackass for seeing you as a sex object. He wants to be interested in spending time with you and wants to get to know you, so you’ll give him what he wants from you, but you’re not really his type. He can’t tell if he thinks you’re pretty. Some days you look better than others, depending on if your hair’s pinned up or down; straight versus curly or wavy. Dyed blonde or dark. You look better in skirts and dresses, compared to pants and tops.

      He doesn’t think he’s a player because he doesn’t fit the criteria. He sincerely feels like shit for thinking that way about you, but that’s just an excuse for him. Players go out, trying to build a collection of different women, telling them all the same thing to get sex, knowing he doesn’t want to be with any of them. He’s different because he doesn’t know if he wants to be with you or not, and he doesn’t know why he feels that way. If his guilt were genuine, it would be enough not to pursue you at all. He’s not a player because he’s not trying to hook up with a different woman every weekend or have women for every day of the week; he wants you.

      He doesn’t really know if he thinks you’re pretty. He knows you’re cute enough to have sex with. He doesn’t think you’re as pretty as he tells you he thinks you are, but you’re cute enough to be seen in public with. He knows other men see you and wonder how you got together until they see what he sees in you, and then it’ll make sense. Then they’re thinking the same thing he’s thinking; your face game might be torn up and on the amateur level, but your body is championship material and more than makes up for what you lack in rebounds and free throws.

      You look great in gym clothes, yoga pants, and leggings with your sports bra. However, those super-short spandex shorts you wear makes your ass look ridiculous when you're doing squats. Your body looks tight and sexy, and you’re not wearing makeup, so your face looks plain enough to get you through the door, but not so much when it comes to your regular clothes like jeans, shirts, or lounging around the house clothes. You look pretty decent at work, but you were looking rather rough when you came in on your day off.

      You look a hell of a lot better in your club clothes or what you wear when you go out and have your makeup done. After you have sex, he sees you differently, in a different light. It happens each time you have sex. He acts like you’re beautiful until he gets off, then questions if you really looked like that the whole time or if he was just hypnotized by your body or your face and blinded by everything else. You want to get the hell out of her place or her out of yours as gracefully as possible until the next time you want sex; because she’s the only woman you’re having sex with, you don’t think that makes you an asshole, but you are an asshole.

      You’re a solo player; you don’t have a stable full of women because that’s really not your style. You think you’re a good guy because you’re not playing the field, but you’re playing the game. You’re using player tactics to get a female to have sex with you, based on bullshit. You’re going on dates, talking and texting, getting to know each other, and making her feel like you’re interested in taking it to another level. You’re trying to convince her and yourself you like her when all you really want to do is push your meat between her huge boobs or watch her massive ass cheeks bobble and wobble when you’re tagging it from behind.

      She knows she has big boobs, a huge ass, or juicy lips because that’s all she’s heard since she was 15 years old. She’s used to the comments men make when she walks by and why they approach her. She knows why you walked up and started talking to her, and you know she knows it. You felt like shit for thinking like every other guy, and you genuinely feel guilty about it, but every time you see that fat ass earth quaking in her pants, her rock-hard nipples, or her boobs bouncing when she walks, none of that matters.

      Maybe she doesn’t know; she knows she’s not that cute, and guys don’t talk to her much, regardless of how she’s built. Maybe she’s cute but flat as a board. Her friends are hotter, and she’s used to guys being nice to her so that she can introduce them to one of her friends. Unfortunately, they don’t go as far as to date her to get to them, so she’s naïve when it comes to men passing by her friends to talk to her. You want to date her friends, but you think you have a better chance at one of them if you sweet-talk her into telling you how to get them or telling them how great a guy you are and cause a little competition to steal you away.

      The fact that you’re choosing her over her friends makes her believe you really like her, and that also makes you an asshole. You know she likes you, and you know what it took for her to have sex with you. You got her to drop her guard and her walls and took advantage of her just because you liked her ass, her mouth, or her boobs. You saved her from low self-esteem and insecurities by dating and spending time together. You turned her out and took her out of her shy shall. You opened her up to be more sensually and intimately affectionate.

      You’re trying to like her and think she’s pretty, but she’s too plain. She’s actually a really nice person, but you need more than nice; you need smoking hot. You go back and forth with whether or not you should do the right thing and end it, but the sex is great; your head’s swimming with disbelief at how someone so plain and average can be as flexible and talented as she is orally and sexually. There’s no way you won't give that up, even though you’re not interested in dating her or having a relationship. You know what you’re doing is having sex with her, and she’s making love to you.

      She changed her wardrobe for you, from jeans and shirts to short, sexy dresses and heels because you made her feel like her body was built to be shown off, and she had the curves to rock that shit. You couldn’t keep your hands off her. You made her fall for you to fuck her from behind because she had the biggest, fattest ass you’ve ever seen in person. Every time you bust a nut, your 20/20 vision comes back, and you realize you don’t really think she’s pretty; you just wanted to see her boobs bouncing while she was riding you.

      You should feel guilty; you’re not a typical player who wants many different women, but you played someone into thinking you wanted more than what you really did. Just because you feel bad about what you did doesn’t change what you did. You didn’t want to be an ass for just wanting one PART of her; instead, you became a bigger ass for tricking her into thinking you wanted ALL of her. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUL 11, 2021


      When you catch your woman cheating, you’re going to be mad as hell. You’re full of rage, frustration, humiliation, and confusion with nowhere put it but the guy standing in front of you. Unless he knew about you, he’s not the person to take it out on. If he knew you or knew about you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t want to kick his ass for disrespecting you and betraying your friendship. Cheating with your lady is icing on the cake. You can be mad at him, but don’t take away from what she did. If he didn’t know about you, leave him alone; that was her choice. You should be mad at her, not that other man; why the hell are the two of you fighting?

      Are you fighting because you got cheated on or because you know the guy they cheated with? Are you fighting because they knew about you the whole time and they didn’t care? Were you friends? Are you fighting because you cheated, and they’re getting you back? Are you pissed because your boys told you she was doing you dirty, and you defended her; now you have to go back and admit you were wrong?

You feel like a damn fool, and you want to redeem yourself. The natural thing to do is to throw blows with that other guy; the quickest way to show your anger is to jump on him, but he’s as much the victim as you. You’re not going to put your hands on that woman, even though you want to, because that’s not how you were raised; at least most men were, but you can’t underestimate what a man will do when faced with that situation.

      You really want to slap the shit out of her. She knows you want to put hands on her throat, but she knows you won’t. She’s safe, no matter what you do and how mad you get. She’ll stand there screaming, crying, and trying to stop you two from fighting. She’s watching you go after each other, hoping somebody will come and break it up. Because you won’t, and legally shouldn’t, punch her in the face, it’s not an excuse or reason to pardon her role in the situation or make light of her being the reason you’re all together.

      She’s standing in the corner, watching you fight. She acts like she doesn’t know who the other guy is and when that doesn’t work, she’ll bring up shit that has nothing to do with or even compares to the magnitude of what she did. You don’t empty the dishwasher, so she cheated on you. You leave the toilet seat up, so she cheated on you. You’re working so she doesn’t have to, so she cheated on you. You pay the bills instead of buying her expensive things, so she cheated on you.

      She knows there’s a good chance at least one of you will still want to be with her, so she’ll wait and see which one that is. She’s watching to see who’s willing to fight the hardest for her or who’ll walk away. So she’ll go back and forth, first telling you she loves you and the other meant nothing until you’re done with her, then she’ll switch and tell the other guy the same shit she just told you.

      She can’t wait to brag about having guys fight over her. Two guys fighting makes her better about herself and boosts her self-esteem in some weird way. Maybe she knows YOU were messing around, and this is how she got her revenge; by getting someone else involved to kick your ass. She doesn’t understand or comprehend the danger she’s putting you both in between physical harm, STDs, or legal repercussions for your actions. On the other hand, maybe she does understand, and the fact that you both want her so bad you’re willing to take that chance, she gets off on it.

      This guy didn’t know any more about you than you did about him until you caught them together or he caught you. So why are you fighting each other? She doesn’t want you to fight, but she’s secretly attracted to having two men willing to go toe to toe for her, especially if one of her complaints is that her man doesn’t show her enough attention or feels like he doesn’t care about her. She’ll tell you it’s about time you stepped up and acted like you gave a shit about her; maybe if you’d made her feel that way before, she wouldn’t have HAD to cheat on you.

      She didn’t HAVE to cheat; she CHOSE to. She MEANT to tell you it’s over. Men don’t HAVE to cheat on their women; they CHOOSE to. Don’t get diverted or allow yourself to be thrown in a pit of fire for her bullshit. There’s no gun to her head or knife to her throat; cheating is a conscious choice for her, and the anger and blame are on her because she’s the one who cheated. It’s her responsibility to put her foot down and remain faithful. It was still up to her to go along with it. She could’ve told him to stop or walk away. She could’ve turned him down. She could’ve told you and let you deal with it if she couldn’t.

      Of course, you want somebody to answer and pay for screwing you over and making a fool out of you, but it was her, not the guy you’re wrestling around on the floor with. You should be pissed at her. That other guy’s just as confused and pissed off as you are and wants the same information, explanations, and payback you want. That’s why you’re targeting each other; you’re both frustrated. Even your concept of gravity is messed up right now, and you’re at your most primal. That other guy’s feeling and thinking everything you are and wants to swing on somebody too.

      When men get cheated on, he’ll put her infidelity into “Dog years.” She didn’t hook up with some guy on a whim; she didn’t let a total stranger hit that ass on the first night; she took time to get to know him. He caught her eye and her interest. They spent time together. They dated for a while before it got physical. Her emotions and feelings got involved before having sex with him, and that took 1-3 months. So when she tells you she’s only been cheating for 3 months, she’s telling you how long they’ve been having sex, not how long ago they met or been seeing each other.

      You want to fight each other because you want to believe the other forced her to cheat; you didn’t give her any choice. You want some sensible reason she did what she did. You’re convinced he made her do it; it’s not her fault. They assume you knew about them; you assume they knew about you. It’s harder for men to convince each other they didn’t know about the other. Men are more likely not to care if she has a man or not, as long as she’s giving it up. Men are quicker to hook up with other women no matter what their situation at home is.

      You’re both mad at each other for coming between you and your woman. Neither of you sees her as the common denominator; all you see is another man putting his hands on your woman. You’re fighting because she’s touching another man. You’re fighting because that other guy put his hands on you. He’s a stranger coming between you and your lady. In your eyes, he walked up, pushed you out the way, and started trying to take her home.

      You’re fighting each other because both of you want your explanation and questions answered first. This other guy has no business asking you or your lady a damn thing, and you want each other to go away. You do not think that everything you feel you are entitled to go for them. You’re going to want to beat the shit out of somebody, and the perfect candidate’s standing right in front of you. You’re not thinking about how big or small you are when you’re face to face with the guy who’s bending your lady over behind your back or having sex in your bed when you’re at work.

      You don’t even know each other, and you still want to fight instead of looking to her for doing you both dirty. So before the pushing and shoving match begins, remember who the real villain is. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JUN 13, 2021


    If you look at every woman a man has ever cheated on or treated like shit, they’ll most likely have common denominators between them. That denominator represents his “First witch,” The woman who treated him the worst he’s been treated or broke his heart. She’s the reason some men are players or refuse to commit to one a monogamous relationship. He has better and more faithful relationships with women who don’t have the same physical or projected personality traits as his witch.

      She was his first emotional bully. He did absolutely nothing wrong or out of pocket, besides the fact he thought she was pretty. She treated him like shit; she rejected and embarrassed him publicly. She baited him for humiliation and exclusion and encouraged, if not demanded, others to follow her lead and example. She was insulted by his thought that he’d had a chance with her when she’s flaunting her assets in front of the captain of the basketball or football team. More popular and better-looking guys are coming at her, so how dare he think he rates the same privilege?

      He’s determined to get payback by punishing every woman who reminds him of his witch. He’ll seek out a relationship with every size 6, blonde, or popular female who used to be a volleyball player in high school because she represents his witch. She could be nothing like the woman he wants revenge on, but because they resemble each other physically, he’ll cheat on her, generally treat her like trash and take advantage of her and destroy her self-esteem to get back at the one who destroyed his. His first witch made a fool of him in high school. She used him when she needed the best lab partner in class; otherwise, she couldn’t give a shit about him. She knows he liked her and encouraged her boyfriend to torment him mercilessly.

      Whatever the case was back then, it still haunts him to this day, and now it’s payback time. He’s lost the weight, the braces came off, and he’s rocking the body of a Greek god. He can’t get to his actual witch, but he can and will take revenge on anyone who reminds him of the witch who cast that first spell that made his life a living hell.

      Every time they meet someone new that represents or resembles their witch is like going back to their high school reunion and turning into his witch. First, she doesn’t recognize him because she’s too busy checking him out and wondering why she doesn’t remember him from back in the day. Then, when she finds out who he is, she’ll allow herself to be crucified, based on what she did to him when the tables were turned.

      She’s been married and divorced 3 times with 4 kids and no father figure; she’s living on welfare or just barely making it check to check, and that makes him feel great. On the other hand, she made him feel like shit when he wore bargain store clothes or hand-me-downs. The popular guys she kicked him to the curb for and picked on him are the guys who bailed on her when she got pregnant and haven’t heard from them since, or they’re just as bad off in life as she is. So now she wants a chance with the guy she treated like shit because he’s doing pretty damn good for himself, and he plans to use her situation to exact his revenge.

      He’s used to having any woman he wants now, but he wants the one who didn’t want him back in the day or used and treated him like shit. But, of course, things can go the other way around, and men will seek out their witch, and that’s the only successful relationship they’ll have. So he’ll bend over backward for the woman who reminds him of the girl he couldn’t have when he was younger. In his mind, he finally won; he got the cheerleader, the popular girl. She’s the girl every guy in school wanted, maybe even a few teachers.

      She doesn’t have to look like his witch, and he could overhear something she said or the way she acts and speaks in general. He sees how she treats other people and sees his witch in how she treats other men who remind him of himself when he was younger. Men won’t take the high road and avoid women who remind him of his witch; he owes it to himself and others who had the same witch, and they haven’t or can’t deal with her specifically. So his revenge on her will be on his and their behalf. He can’t get to the actual person, but he can get to other women who represent her.

      It’s like wanting to or getting back at the bully who tormented him and made his school life miserable for no reason other than he was different and didn’t fit in where they were. He thinks he can get his self-esteem and confidence back through surrogates. He can get revenge and payback, but the obsession will never live up to reality.

      Some men can’t consciously be a good, faithful man to any woman until he’s made peace with the damage and issues he had with his first witch. He won’t stop being a player until he’s made enough of an impact to have taught his witch a lesson. Still, he’ll never be satisfied because no matter how many women he treats the way he was treated, he can’t reach the woman he really wants his vengeance on; the surrogates he chooses will never be close enough to satisfy his bloodlust.

      It’s not that he can’t be or stay faithful; he won’t stay faithful to any redhead because he was hurt in the worst way of his life by a redhead or anyone else who shares any of the physical traits of his first witch. He only needed to be devastated once before he hardened himself, so any other witch who came across his path won’t be as effective or influential to his life as his first witch. Black men will date black women specifically but will always cheat with white or Hispanic women because black women were his first witch.

      Women think he’s petty and ridiculous, but he’s no more ridiculous than women who think all men are players or trying to get into her pants. Every time women see or are approached by a particular type of man, she’ll relate him to the men who hurt her in the past; her ex that cheated, her ex-husband, her kid's father, etc. She may not date him for revenge, but she won’t give him a chance to get close enough to hurt her heart, based on who he reminds her of from her past. That's no different than a man who wants and needs to get back at his first witch.

      The witch is different from a heartbreaker because the heartbreaker could’ve been his friend who didn’t feel the same way about him as he did for her. Instead, the witch intentionally hurt him and set him up for others to hurt and humiliate him as well. His witch and heartbreaker could’ve been the same person, but the heartbreaker could’ve also cared about him or felt bad about breaking his heart. She still tried to be friends but eventually let go because the revelation of his feelings and her lack of reciprocation ruined the friendship. The heartbreaker feels bad; the witch feels good about herself at his expense.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAY 26, 2021


     Sex isn’t something you can learn to be good at; you can improve your natural talent and technique, but you can’t go from horrible to fantastic or bad to good. You think practice makes perfect, but that’s not true either. You’re not going to get too many chances to make a good sexual first impression or establish yourself as a formidable lover, so while it’s best to gather as much information and knowledge to improve the skills you do have, you have to be mindful of what you’re learning and who you’re learning it from.

     Not everyone’s going to be sexually well-matched, based on general incompatibility. You want to learn about sex in general to please various types of people with various levels of experience, but your teacher is training you for their type of sex. If one or both of you isn’t open-minded or willing to accept that you don’t know everything or you’re beyond learning anything new, your sex is always going to be horrible, or at the very least, unsatisfactory to who has the issue with your sex the way it is now.

     You learn the most of your sexual preferences, knowledge, skills, and abilities from just a few people in your life. No matter how many different partners you have, you’ll learn the most from the first or second person you have sex with, the first or second older or more experienced lover, and your first “Freak.”

     Your first-timers taught you the basics; how to do it, what to do, and where things should go and not go without permission. Men become sex addicts, always searching for whoever will have sex with them, and they’ll be selfish with their partners. He’ll choose females on his sexual level because he has a pretty good idea she’s lacking in practice and wants to be the best she’s ever had. After all, she has very little to compare him to, from technique to his “Size.”

     His goal is his own satisfaction, and he won’t care too much about hers. First-timers will make men greedy, demanding assholes focused only on the next time they can get off. He sees nothing wrong with going to sleep or being finished for the night after just 5 minutes.

     She’ll learn every guy she has sex with doesn’t or isn’t going to love her, even though she’ll wait until she loves him, based on her understanding of love is up to that point in her life.

     You’ll learn the 3 basic positions: missionary, cowgirl, and doggy style; plus being introduced to the front seat of the car; he doesn’t know how to talk her into the back seat yet, and her parents won’t give them the time or opportunity to be alone at home long enough when he comes over to do anything. Men and women establish themselves as being biomechanical or biochemical. He’ll be wrapped up in the physical act of sex, and she’ll be thinking you’re making love.

     She’ll experiment with oral sex and develop a temporary preference for or against it. She’ll have a gag reflex and won’t swallow, even though she’s been going down on him for a while, but that was different because she was doing it then to hold him off from pressuring her to have sex. He wants to do what he’s been looking at in porno movies, but he doesn’t know how or where even to start.

     There’s no foreplay, and she’s unaware of the benefits or concept, past mutual manual stimulation and oral, but that was also for diverting the focus from intercourse.

     You’ll learn and develop your pace, technique, and rhythm from your first older or more experienced man or woman. You’ll learn the most about different positions and choose your favorites. You’ll realize, set, and extend your level of sexual comfort and your boundaries.

     She’ll experience receiving oral sex, and it’ll be mutual. She’ll realize what she’s been missing out on with her first-timers. Men will quickly decide whether or not they enjoy giving oral sex and establish their prequalifying checklist for doing so; for example, he’ll decide if he prefers her pubic hair completely shaved, trimmed, or natural. She’ll try swallowing and develop a preference or disliking for it. You’ll learn about stamina and foreplay and decide whether or not you care about the importance of either.

     Boys will begin to stop kissing. He thinks you’re both beyond it, and he’s kissed her enough in the past when they weren’t having sex, and he finds it unnecessary or a waste of precious time when they could be having sex instead. It’s time to go to the next level, and kissing is only good for when you can’t have sex, as in saying hello or goodbye.

     Before intercourse, manual and oral sex was the alternative and a substitute because she wasn’t ready to give it up. Now that you’re having sex and it’s turned into foreplay, they’re no longer interested. He has no intentions on what he feels is “Going backward.”

     Females still want to kiss or kiss more because she gave him an amazing gift by having sex. Her first time was good for what it was because she had nothing to compare it to; the first older, more experienced guy opened her eyes and gave her an even bigger gift than she gave her first guy: her first orgasm.

     He paid attention to her, read her body language like second nature; he responded and reassured her she felt good. He complimented her and put her at ease, even when she lost the stroke or stepped out of the rhythm momentarily. He made her the focus of satisfaction, putting her orgasm ahead of his. He made things all about her and gave her oral first, then sex, not one or the other. She had her first multiple orgasms before they even had intercourse.

     That older man or woman will introduce and finalize your natural oral ability and technique instead of just a tool. Men decide if they’re going to be selfish or reciprocate. You’ll finalize your decision to swallow, spit, or not even have his cream of meat in your mouth. Women will have their first soaking wet or “Squirting” orgasm. Men choose to stay selfish and greedy like teenagers or care about their partner’s needs and satisfaction. The importance of generosity will be settled. You’ll find out what happens if you’re unwilling to give as much as you get.

     Men and women will decide to shave, trim, or keep their pubic hair natural. Racial preference will be explored and decided by now. Preferences in physical features and/or assets; He’ll become a breast or butt man, and she’ll decide what features turn her on as well. You won’t always have to wait or initiate; they’ll come after you when they want it, but not the same way the first-timer did. The older man or woman will make it sexy and seductive, not a debt owed or collected.

     The first “Freak” will change everything you think you know about sex. You’ll find out the things you see in porn are best left to your imagination, not the application. You’ll find out how good or terrible you really are, and it’ll be obvious. You’ll question how many times and how many people you’ve had fake an orgasm with you. They’ll be much more open and experienced than you and will finalize all your preferences.

     From positions to fantasies to technique and confidence, the freak will concrete your sexual prowess and abilities if they haven’t been already set. You’ve been studying karate up to this point, and the freak will teach you the sexual arts of the Shaolin Temple.

     The freak will surprise you with how much they want sex. You got used to being turned down left and right, and the freak can’t get enough. They’re not bound by traditional expectations or dictated by what society believes is appropriate. The freak doesn’t care about what other people are saying, as long as you’re happy and they’re satisfied.

     You’d think they were teenagers again by how hungry they are for sex. Women won’t complain about him always pawing at her or feeling her up like she did when she was with her first-timers. Men will try to go back to being selfish, but the freak will leave him quick, fast, and in a hurry, if he tries that shit, and take your reputation along with it. The freak will penthouse your confidence or crash it into the sub-basement.

     Your confidence in your ability to satisfy someone who has less experience will be off the charts. The freak will give you the assurance to be who you truly are and not care about anyone else’s opinion. The freak will bring you back to foreplay, but on a different level, and teach you all types of new tricks and activities. You’ll discover you’re not a typical “Bed-sex” person; you’re into intense foreplay, and you want it when you want it, where you want it. One or both of you can’t or don’t want to wait until you get home, the kids are in bed, or nighttime.

     The freak will sneak off with you to the men’s room stall for a quick hookup and won’t give a damn who saw her walk out, fixing her skirt. She’ll let him bend her over in the dark part of the parking lot, as long as she can get her pants up or dress down before anyone sees her, even though they know what’s going on. They don’t give a damn about anyone commenting on her being groped or making out with her man in public.

     The freak will teach you everything you thought was weird before is actually what you’ve always wanted but didn’t know how to accept it. What you thought was dirty and disrespectful in your sexual infancy is now what you can’t or don’t want to do without. They’ll bring you out of your box and step you up to a level you find fun, sexy, and enjoyable.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAY 2, 2021


     Some things you’re not going to understand if you’ve never been in someone else’s shoes or situation. Until you’ve been broke or poor, you can’t begin to understand.

      Condiment sandwiches. Ketchup, mustard, relish, or mayo. When you’re poor, you’ll put the craziest shit between two slices of bread and make it work. Poor people know about bread-and-butter sandwiches, not toast with butter and not “Peanut” butter. Just plain old bread and butter.

     Pancake syrup or honey sandwiches. Pinching the ends to keep it from leaking all over, plus eating it fast enough so it doesn’t soak the bread. Not just because they tasted good, going hungry was the alternative. When you’re poor, eating the ends of the bread wasn’t up to debate; You’d better not open that new loaf until those ends were gone and didn’t get caught trying to hide them in the garbage.

     Poor people don’t have the money for hotdogs or hamburger buns; poor people know bread. All beef hot dogs? Not at $4 a pack; poor people's hot dogs were $1.19 and made out of chicken, beef, and pork. Buffalo, turtle, and squirrel meat was possibly somewhere in there too. The only lunch meat in the fridge was Bologna; we knew the right time to flip it when we fried it. We made our own pizza; cheese, pasta sauce, and whatever meat were in the fridge. There was no need to buy Chili-mac in a box; all it took was noodles, meat, and sauce. And we called it “Goulash”.

     Hot school lunches were the closest thing to fast food some of us got. Kids with money saw it as gross, and it was TV dinner for poor kids. If it weren’t for taco or enchilada day, we’d never have tasted Mexican food. The fried rice was a combination of the rice from last night and anything else getting ready to go bad in the fridge with two scrambled eggs. Soy sauce was a teaspoon of vinegar in the hot grease while it was cooking.

     Poor people knew about sugar water with a lemon in the glass. The word “Presweetened” was as foreign as the Pakistani language when making juice from drink powder. It wasn’t right unless you heard that wooden spoon scraping the extra sugar you added across the bottom of the pitcher. We made our own popsicles, with juice in the ice cube trays or a plastic cup of juice in the freezer. Poor people know if you put a little water in the empty juice carton with a little sugar and shake it up, there was enough for one more swallow.

     The concept of cheese being a dairy product was foreign when you’re poor. Government cheese was oil-based, and it didn’t melt; it just lost its structural integrity when you heated it up or baked with it. Poor people knew their cheese was nacho-ready when the end of the puddle was burned around the edges, or there was a pool of oil surrounding the outer perimeter of the plate.

     Rich and middle-class people had spices; poor people had season salt. The fried chicken had a slight fish, bacon, and pork chop flavor to it; because the grease you used to fry the chicken is the same grease you kept in the coffee can go on the stove. It had sludge on the bottom made of cold animal fat and food bits from when you used it before and kept adding to it. That’s still damn good grease to poor people; you’d better not pour it out.

     The cake mix bowl battle royal; only poor kids know about standing next to mom or dad while mixing cake batter. You were stretching, popping your knuckles, and limbering up to either snatch the bowl and run or fight to the death. Getting ready for the cake mix bowl clash made you feel like the manager of a retail store on Black Friday, and it was your job to open the doors.

     All the other kids in the house were laying traps, hiding in wait, or poised to attack as soon as you got the bowl touched the counter. Fighting for the cake mix bowl was the closest to professional rugby most poor kids got to play. You almost cried when you were told you had to share with everybody; secretly, I think parents enjoyed watching this pageant of violence and brutality.

     Halloween was as joyous as Christmas and disappointing as the night before the summer break was over and school starting the next day. You made your costume; being a pimp, bum, or clown was easy and cheap. Halloween was that night you got all types of candy you’d never have the chance to have, and you were happy as hell; opening each piece was like finding another present under the tree with your name on it.

     What sucked is when you all had to put EVERYTHING in a pile and take turns choosing just one piece until everyone had an equal amount of candy. Your parents wanted each child to be able to have and sample candy they couldn’t have otherwise. Your extra hard work to get more candy than your siblings was all for nothing, especially when you also had to share with someone who didn’t even go trick-or-treating, and they had nothing to contribute to the pile!

     Poor kids know about protecting their good batteries like military secrets; Batteries were like vintage coins, especially if they were name brand. When you were done using them, you took them out of whatever you were using them for and hid them! Even your parents would steal your good batteries for the remote when your back was turned!

     Poor people had “Play clothes.” When you came home from school and finished your homework, you put on that shirt and pair of pants that were designated for playing. Get caught outside in your church or school clothes, and that was your ass! Poor people know about putting their good clothes folded under the mattress to keep the creases. Rich and middle-class people had electric irons with steam. Poor people had the iron slab with the wooden handle that burned through everything if they weren’t careful. Only a seasoned operator knew how to handle that weapon of textile destruction. Dry clean clothes weren’t an option.

     You couldn’t run the heat AND the dryer, so you had to make a choice; be cold with warm, dry clothes or be warm and take the chance with the clothesline outside and Satan’s iron anvil to get the frozen wrinkles out.

     Poor kids saw hand-me-downs as new clothes; they’d never worn them, so they weren’t used. Poor people know about using socks as mittens; they were a barrier between bare skin and the hot baked potatoes they kept in their coat or jacket pockets for hand warmers. Last month's electric bill determined if the air or heat was going to get used this month. Poor kids know about sleeping in coats or opening the oven and propping your feet up on the door to get warm.

     When it rained, snowed, or there was slush on the ground, you put your feet into plastic shopping bags before you put your shoes on, and you walked to school. No matter how much you try, you couldn’t avoid every puddle, and even though your feet were freezing, at least they were dry.

     Rich people have toolboxes; poor people had the “Junk drawer” People with money had styling brushes and combs; poor people had the stovetop hot comb. Buying a spatula was a waste of money when a fork could do the same thing. Wrapping paper? We used the Sunday morning comics; we didn’t care about what the gift was wrapped in!

     Kids with money had book covers; poor kids had brown paper bags, which allowed for self-decorating. Poor kids only had red rubber balls in school; at home, dodgeballs were slightly underinflated basketballs. Poor kids knew about making basketball hoops from a milk crate. Kids with money had jump ropes; poor kids cut the power cords from old appliances.

     Televisions didn’t come with remote control; that was the job for the youngest brother or sister; they didn’t get to watch anything they wanted; they were responsible for channel changing and volume control. That one week during the summer when they unscrambled all the premium movie channels was the height of the year; that also meant the “Nudie channel”! Poor people couldn’t afford to call a tow truck; they called that friend who had straps or chains.

     The poor first aid kit had aspirin, adhesive bandage assortment, and peroxide. There were cough drops and half a bottle of cold medicine that was for emergencies only. If you had an athletic bandage, it was borrowed, or from that time, you HAD to go to the ER 3 years ago. Other than that, when you got sick, you were just sick and had to muddle through it.

     With government health care, by the time you got an appointment, you were better anyway. Sore throat? Warm water and salt. Temporary cough and throat relief, a spoonful of honey. There was no such thing as unpaid sick days; you couldn’t afford it, or you were scared to lose your job when they realized they could do without you.

     Poor people knew that one guy who had a 50-gallon drum cut in half with the piece of the metal fence over it: the ghetto BBQ grill. Poor people could make a single bag of charcoal last 4-5 cookouts; they added stones and bricks to the grill; hot is hot. Poor people couldn’t get drunk off regular beer; they had a high malt liquor tolerance.

     Poor kids extended the 5-second rule to 3 minutes, depending on what it was, what was stuck to it, or how long ago the floor was cleaned. Poor kids know about going back to check if anyone had put anything else in the garbage and if that half sandwich was salvageable.

     Poor people had a 5-minute phone limit because there was no call waiting. Friends couldn’t call until after business hours because someone was waiting to hear about a job. If you went to the bathroom and your parents heard the toilet flush, be prepared to disclose whether or not you had to pee or shit.

     Poor kids know about sharing deodorant. Kids with money know showers and fresh, hot bath water per person. Poor people know about taking baths in order of how dirty or stinky you were; being the 3rd person in the tub of the same water everyone else had to bathe in. You had to boil a pot of water to make the tub hot again. You were trying to get clean in a tub of partially warm chicken broth.

     Poor people know about living check to check because they had to, not because they were financially irresponsible. Poor people know about choosing food over bills. The final shutoff notice determined which bills got paid that month. There was no deciding between expensive sneakers and being late on rent. Rich and middle-class people know about choosing; poor people know about sacrifice. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APR 18, 2021


     He wants you to call out his name during sex because he wants you to talk to him; you’re not vocal at all. He wants you to talk dirty, but he has no imagination, experience, or spends WAY too much time online. The shit that turns him on from watching porn sounds good when he’s stroking his own, but it’s not the dialogue he’s interested in; it’s the sex. 

     He can’t get aroused by what he’s watching and what they’re saying at the same time, and his confusion is messing up his rhythm and his stroke. He can’t stay fully hard because he has too much on his mind. He can’t concentrate on getting off because he’s trying to watch, listen, and imagine the two of you acting out the scene and talking to him like that. He’s trying to rub his tummy, scratch his head, and bust a nut, all at the same time, and it’s not working right.

   Why does a man want you to call his name out loud when you’re having sex? That’s how you tell him he’s the shit. That’s how you tell him he’s hitting all the right spots, but he knows you have a problem with being vocal. He’s getting what he needs without making you feel awkward about saying anything that makes you feel ridiculous or uncomfortable.

     Men and women are more than capable of talking to other people how they want their partner to speak, but they can’t or won’t talk to each other that way. Moaning and heavy breathing is a woman’s reassurance tactic, while men tend to mutter one or two quick comments under their breath about how good it feels. She might throw out a “Damn or shit!” every so often, but it’s so general and random, it’s hard for him to get turned on by it. He can’t get motivated to get more out of her vocally. She may be enjoying the hell out of herself, but her lack of verbal reassurance, united with her just lying there, makes him think otherwise.

     It may seem silly to you when he tells you to say his name, but he’s giving you a way to give him what he needs and be considerate of your feelings in the process. He knows you’re not a dirty talker. He knows you’re uncomfortable with it. He knows your parents raised you a certain way, and talking like that would make them turn over in their graves if they thought you spoke like that, even though you can with your friends. He’s not upset or mad because you can’t say what he wants you to say. He knows you’re trying, and that means a lot to him. 

     Men are auditory creatures when it comes to sex; since you won’t say anything to get him excited to hit it better, slower, and harder, he’ll let your body do the talking for you. That’s why he turned you over to get it from behind. You can’t or won’t open your mouth to tell him anything, so he’ll ask your ass and hips for a performance report. He’ll grab you by the waist and pound into you, smacking your ass cheeks against his crotch, causing as much noise as possible. Your booty clapping around his shaft is your applause, the standing ovation you can’t give him. You can’t call out his name, but your ass is talking loud and clear!

    You don’t know what to say for the same reason; you have no imagination, no experience, and you feel weird and awkward talking dirty because you’re not comfortable saying words like “Dick, cock, pussy, cum, and fuck”. You can’t speak to him and tell him that he gives you some of the best sex you’ve ever had because you’ve been raised to believe that type of talk is something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You feel silly talking about your sex with him, but not too foolish to enjoy it. You’re both grown now, and it’s time to put that shit aside. Do what needs to be done to keep each other secure that your sex is still top-notch. It’s time to put away what other people think of you and put more into what makes you both feel good about being together sexually.

     He wants you to tell him how big he is and how he fills you up every time. He wants you to say to him you can barely take all of it. He loves your voice and wants to hear some nasty shit come out your mouth, but he knows you’re not like that. He knows that’s an issue for you. He knows you’re not used to it, and you’re trying to give him what he wants, but it’s hard to break out of that shell and get past being taught women who talk like that are slutty and don’t respect themselves.

     He doesn’t want you to do or say anything that’s going to take away from experience, so he’ll meet you in the middle and tell you to say his name. That’s all he wants; that’s why he asks, “Who’s is it?” That’s why he makes comments like, “This is all mine; that ass belongs to me!” All he’s looking for is a YES! or some sort of agreement. Hell, you can nod your head up and down for all he cares. It doesn’t take much to bob your head up and down. He’s getting what he wants and needs when all you have to say is, “It’s all yours!” He gets his dirty talk, and you don’t have to be embarrassed by saying anything too off the wall.

     He wants you to say his name because he doesn’t know how to ask for anything else. He doesn’t know how to bring it up outside of the bedroom, so you don’t know what he wants to hear when you’re in the middle of having sex, and you’re only paying half attention to what’s coming out of his mouth. He’s trying to multitask sexually and verbally, plus trying his best to make sure you have an orgasm.

     He wants you to say his name out loud because you won’t say anything else. You can’t say anything without blushing and giggling like a damn schoolgirl when he’s trying to give you the grown-man goodness. That isn’t the time you think you’re funny and pretend to say another man’s name. Your laughing ruins the mood, and while you think it’s cute and funny to mock him or joke about it with a stupid voice, you do not realize this is serious for him. That’s not the time to laugh; you think he’s just being a man, but it’s an emotional thing for him, and he’s risking the confidence in his sexual ability every time you have sex, and he wants you to say something, say ANYTHING! His pride is on the line, and to him, you’re not taking it seriously.

     He’s asking you if you came or had an orgasm because that doesn’t require you to say anything dirty or nasty, but he still gets you to be vocal; both men and women need verbal as well as physical stimulation when having sex. That’s why he wants you to tell him when you’re cumming, “I’m cumming” It is simple to say; it’s not dirty or raunchy. It doesn’t require any dirty or nasty words, but it satisfies his need for dirty talk. Saying his name is more than just actually saying his name; it says more than that.

     Women want men to understand how important foreplay is to her; being vocal is important to men, and she has to understand that just as much as she enjoys his understanding. Don’t get caught in that stupid battle for bedroom power. Just because he doesn’t see the point in 30 minutes of foreplay, you’re just going to lie there and not give him what he needs, to be spiteful. You might as well not even be having sex because you’re both being assholes, and you’re using sex as behavior modification.

     You can say some of the craziest, most off-the-wall shit during sex, and he won’t care because you’re vocal. You can tell him he’s knocking bricks off your ass, and he doesn’t care; he knows what you mean. You can tell him he hasn’t shoveled the snow off the driveway like that in a while, and he’ll STILL understand what you’re talking about. You don’t have to say nasty words; say something. And if you can’t think of anything, if nothing comes to mind, say his name.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 31, 2021


     They recruited you, or you took it on yourself to play matchmaker. Your friend saw someone and pointed him out to you or the group. There’s someone you know, and you think they’d make a good couple. You all work together. As soon as he walked in the door, your friend commented, and you took that as a hint to get the ball rolling. Men will take the chance, walk over, and introduce themselves. Women will recruit her friends directly or indirectly by commenting how good he looks or enlist her girlfriend’s assistance if she’s shy.

     You saw him looking as well, and you took the hint. You either sent your man over to encourage him to come over, or you approached him yourself to nudge him. What happens when he tells you he’s flattered, but he was actually checking you out? Now you’re stuck in a situation where you have your shy friend on one side and a guy you’re also attracted to on the other, but you’ll feel like shit for taking him up on his offer to get to know each other.

     You went on your own or were sent over by your friend, and they’re watching. They’re trying not to look like they’re paying any attention, but they are. What do you do? Take him up on his offer for a drink and conversation, or do you insist on talking your friend up? You’re hoping he’ll drop his pursuit of your interest and talk to her. He’s a good-looking guy, and you really like his style and personality, and the longer you stand there talking to him, the less you’re thinking about the reason you walked over in the 1st place.

     They recruited you for a specific mission; to bring that man over to meet your friend, but his bunkers are hardened, and his defenses more advanced than you expected. The entire time you and your friends were checking him out, he was checking you out. You planned this to be a simple snatch and grab, but he had a counterattack you weren’t ready for. You’re cut off from your unit with no support or communication. Your battle plan’s crumbling, and you can’t even call on your friends to help without admitting the guy she’s interested in wants you instead.  

     Where do you go from here? Does “Girl code” apply? Does the unspoken obligation of loyalty apply in this situation? Is there a betrayal of friendship in the making when he tells you he likes you instead of your friend? How will she interpret the situation if/when you sit down, have a conversation, or take him up on his invitation for a drink or meal after work hours? Will she believe you really went over for her, or will she think you snaked him from behind her back? Will you concede and back away, even though you’re getting more into him the longer you talk to each other?

     Sooner or later, time will answer all those questions for you. It’s been twenty damn minutes, and you still haven’t gone back to your friends; it’s safe to assume she knows you’re no longer talking about her, and the two of you are hitting it off. When he stands up, takes your hand, and turns towards the dance floor, she knows it’s not about her anymore. The secrets out; do you remain faithful to your friendship and decline? If you’ve been standing there laughing, talking, and letting him get close, she already knows where your head is.

     Just because she “Saw him 1st” doesn’t give a woman exclusive rights to someone she’s interested in. They never met, so there’s no code violation. It would be different if they’d met and were getting to know each other, only to have him shift his interest after meeting you.

     The facts are simple; your friend pointed out a guy you’re both attracted to. She’s shy, so you went over to tell him that he should come over and meet her, but his interest is in you. He’s trying to get to know you, and you’re giving him your friends’ personal resume’. He doesn’t want to hear about her, and he wants to know about you, not because he’s an ass, but because he thought sending you over was a little juvenile than her prefers in the women he likes. Regardless, he’s trying to get to know you, and the longer you talk to him, the more interested you are in him.

     Should you continue to talk up your friend? If so, for how much longer? He’s clearly not interested, so why should you both miss out? His mind won’t change if you bring him over for an introduction; you’ll make him uncomfortable when he excuses himself and walks away because he believes you’re not interested or because he knows you’re not going to budge with hooking him with your friend. You hope he’ll be interested in your friend after meeting her; is that the right thing to do, or are you setting her up to get her feelings hurt and damage her already fragile self-image?

     There’s going to be a crossroads, all of which leads to the same destination. One, he comes over, introduces himself, and walks away, convinced your obligation to your friend will keep you from giving him a chance. Two, he meets your friend, then turns his attention back to you in front of her. Three, he comes straight out and tells you he doesn’t want to meet your friend, and while he respects your loyalty, if you’re dead set on passing him off, he’ll thank you and walk away. Lastly, you can sit down with him and hope your friend understands.

     Either way, he’s not into your friend, so why sell yourself short? What’s wrong with going after him? You just pumped your friend up to be this great person, so she should accept what is and be happy you met someone good for you.

     Are you obligated to say no even if there’s no girl code violation? If he’s a good friend, he’s a free game to the first person who shows initiative and approaches him. When you approached him for your friend, he made his feeling for you know. You never gave it much thought, but you’re putting serious thought into him for yourself since he brought it up. You risk offending him and running him off when you keep trying to push him off on your friend. You make him feel like property instead of a person, and he doesn’t see why he can’t have what he wants. You’re contracting him to somebody he doesn’t want and taking away his choice.

     Your mutual friends will be more critical of your decision to get to know him over your friend, but that’s not your problem. You had every intention of hooking them up with your friend, but things don’t always work as planned. They’ll see your actions as a violation of the girl code because they know you’re more outgoing and has fewer issues meeting men. They see it as out of all the guys you could have, and you ended up with the guy your friend was interested in.

     This doesn’t work for men because they have a different outlook on this situation. Jimmy and Johnny are out for the night, and they notice Sarah. Jimmy walks over and starts to talk Johnny up, but she’s more into Jimmy. When he introduces her to Johnny, and she’s clearly more into Jimmy, Johnny will “Resume” himself for about 10 minutes before he concedes, backs off, and moves on to let Jimmy and Sarah interact. Johnny assumes Jimmy’s out to hook up, and when he’s done with Sarah, He’ll step in and take his turn. If Jimmy and Sarah end up dating, Johnny won’t care; he won’t see it as a “Bro code” violation because by then, he would’ve already met someone else.

     If you feel that bad or torn about it, explain the situation to him and how you feel about talking to him in front of your friend. Exchange numbers and talk later. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 21, 2021


     Don’t think for one-second; men are the only ones who hate condoms. Men try to get out of using a condom more openly; it’s more expected for them to want and try to go in raw without one. Women are just as reluctant to use a condom as men, depending on their endgame. Her awareness of personal safety keeps her common sense in check, so she’ll insist, even though she doesn’t really want to. She can’t stand condoms any more than he does, but she knows they’re important and necessary. Women go both ways when it comes to spur-of-the-moment sex; some can stop and wait for him to get one from his car or the other room. Some women can wait until the next time they’re together, but men don’t want to wait that long. Neither does she, but she knows it’s the right and safe thing to do. Some women believe sex with a condom loses spontaneity; when you have to stop and get one.

     Men don’t like the feeling of having a filled condom on after he’s released himself and gone soft. She thinks he looks weird or gross with a used, fluid-filled balloon hanging from his stump. He has to stop, pull out, dispose of it, slip on another, and come back for the next round. That’s takes away from the sensuality or the experience. She knows if he’s soft with a filled condom on, there’s still the risk of spillage or losing the condom altogether inside of her.

     Men are more vocal, defensive, and defiant when it comes to using a condom. Women have more of the same issues, and excuses men have than you think. Women don’t have to bring up not wanting to use protection so much because they know the man’s going to try to go in without it. She knows he’s going to try and talk her out of using one, so she doesn’t have to. Men avoid buying condoms in case he sees or meets a pretty woman at the store. She’ll notice he has them in his cart, and that tells her he’s having sex with at least one other woman. The same goes for men; they avoid women who have condoms in their shopping cart because he knows she will require him to wear one, and he can’t use the “I don’t have anything” excuse.


     She won’t buy condoms on her own because she’s embarrassed by the looks she gets when she put the box on the counter for purchase. She doesn’t want him to think she has an STD or sleeps around. Her reputation and image are important to her, and she’d rather risk her health than a negative impression. She’d rather sit at the health clinic or pharmacy, waiting on a prescription for antibiotics, than to be seen buying condoms.

     She’s been taught not to be difficult. She doesn’t want to inconvenience him or ruin the mood by making him stop to get one or stop altogether because he doesn’t have one. She feels like she teased him. She feels like she’s asking for a kidney or lung if she demands he wears one. She feels selfish because she’s the only one getting something out of it since he says he can’t feel anything with a condom. She doesn’t want him to think she believes he has something for her to be worried about.

     He says he can’t be satisfied or enjoy sex with a condom. He’ll lie about not being able to bust a nut because he’s numb from wearing a condom. She feels the same way; she says she can’t feel it either. He actually busted his nut, but she doesn’t know any better. She didn’t see the condom when he pulled it off, so she has to believe him when he says he didn’t cum; that’s why he went into the bathroom and flushed it. He got his nut off, and he’s no longer interested in having sex, but he’ll ask what’s the use in continuing if he can’t feel anything.

     He’ll give her trash dick and blame it on the condom. It doesn’t feel good, so she loses interest; their sex suffers drastically. She enjoys sex, but it’s not the same, so she won’t try as hard to do anything memorable or special. She doesn’t like condoms, and there’s no reason to go out of her way to make it special; that option flew out the window when the rubber wrapper ripped open.

     Women agree to have unprotected sex because she knows plenty of other women who’ll give him what he wants. She’ll give in to keep him interested. That’s a lie; he can still bust a nut; he wants the full feeling. He wants the ownership and bragging rights of talking her out of using a condom and exploding inside of her, which is what she wants just as bad as he does. It’s easier for her to sit back and let him think; he smooth-talked his way into not using one than her to risk having him think she lets every man inside her without one.

     There are condoms for women. But neither of them wants that because it’s still a condom, a barrier that keeps them both from the “Full feeling.” They’re not particularly fond of that option either. Women also say it doesn’t feel natural, or it feels like they’re not really having sex or making love; they’re just fucking. Using a condom makes her feel like she’s no different than a one-night stand, and a condom is what’s used with someone they just met or when they’re having sex with more than one person.

     Women won’t require a man to wear a condom because she wants to trust him and trust IN him enough to believe he doesn’t need one. He’s WAY too good-looking to have anything she should be worried about. He’s a nice guy. Men and women are more concerned about risking pregnancy over their health. They want to avoid a baby more than an STD. The reality and fear are more realistic for a woman because her sexual and reproductive health is monitored more closely than men. After all, she goes to a gynecologist and gets tested regularly for potential issues more than men.

     Men don’t worry about their sexual health as much until a woman tells him he needs to have himself checked or he develops symptoms. Men believe they’re impervious to STDs. They haven’t gotten anyone pregnant yet, so they don’t think they’re able to have kids. She can’t have any more kids. She doesn’t see the need for condoms because she’s on birth control.

     She’s only heard of or had experience with latex condoms, and she’s allergic. Other alternative materials seem too foreign or unnatural than rubber, and she won’t even try it. Condoms smell horrible. He has to stop and wash his hands between the rubber, lube, and spermicide after he slides it on. It smells even worse after all the lube has been worn off during the friction of use. She’s breathing through her mouth the whole time. She can’t go down on him while he’s wearing one because she’ll be choking and gagging the whole time.

     Women avoid using condoms with men she sees as relationship material. Not using a condom is the first step to dating exclusively on the way to a relationship. She didn’t use protection when she sucked and swallowed him; she figures if it’s safe to go down on him, there’s no reason they can’t go unprotected and having him shoot his load inside of her. Besides, condoms aren’t 100% anyway. Her friend got pregnant, and she used condoms, but what that friend didn’t tell her about were those times she had sex without one.

     She enjoys the same friction-based pleasure men get from unprotected sex. Condoms rob and cheat her out of a physical and emotional connection with a man. She’s turned on by feeling him shoot his load inside. She likes the claim he makes on her when he does. She enjoys feeling his head swell up right before he explodes. Taking him to the back of her throat and swallowing is orgasmic for her. The thought of sucking on rubber makes her not even want to do it. Condoms take away from the sensuality, feeling of commitment, and emotional intimacy. They’ve been together long enough not to need them anymore.

     No matter how much he complains or resists, it’s still up to her to insist he wears one or not; “if he can’t wrap it, he can’t tap it!” It’s her choice to let him inside of her unprotected. He can walk away mad and pissed off all he wants; he can stomp his feet and never talk to her again, he can call her every name under the sun, and it’s still ultimately her choice to have unprotected sex.

     It’s hard for her to get or stay wet with a condom. It’s difficult for him to stay hard or last long if he’s wearing a condom. He’s telling her sex is boring and uneventful when he has to wear one. Her pride is at stake, as well as her confidence in her ability to please and keep her man, so she’ll agree to go unprotected. Condoms; 30 minutes of protection; 18-year sentence with a child, or a life sentence with an STD. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 11, 2021


     Walk up and say hello or keep walking. You look creepy as hell when you walk by, see somebody you want to talk to, and you either stop and stare or give some fucked up stalker look, thinking it’s your sex face. You look creepy as fuck with your chin tucked into your chest, head tilted slightly to the side, and your eyes wide open. That shit isn’t sexy; you look like a fucking zombie who wants to eat her brains or a psycho who wants to chew on her hair. Things you think are sexy have the opposite effect, and you’re not turning her on; you’re scaring the shit out of her, even if she thought you were cute, to begin with.

     You’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re not a player, and you’re nowhere near as smooth as you think you are. Just be yourself, and if she likes you, she’ll like you for you. You don’t need to impress her with some fake shit; you’re going to end up fading to black after a while. When your true nature comes out, you’ll look like an ass. You’re trying to look like the super-seductive guys in the movies. First of all, you don’t look like the guys on TV, you’re not built like the guys on TV, and you aren’t making the same money as the guys on TV.

     What you don’t say is just as important and effective as what you say, and timing makes all the difference. When a woman asks you to tell her about who you are, that isn’t an invitation to impress her with the car you bought or the rims and Blue-ray player you just had installed in your dashboard. She’s asking about you, not what you have or just bought. She’s not asking about your house or the watch you keep fiddling with, hoping she’d notice. If that’s what she’s asking about, you don’t want that type of woman anyway. Please don’t talk about your ex and why you broke up because she knows she isn’t going to get to the whole truth anyway. You may not come right out and lie, but you’re going to make yourself look more the victim than the truth.

     You think you have this semi-smooth, semi-seductive look on your face when you walked past and checked her out, but what she saw was some sort of half-man, half Komodo dragon. You think you look sexy when you lick your lips, but she sees you as having ashy lips. You’re sucking and biting your bottom lip, thinking you’re giving her wet panties, but you really look like you’re trying to hide a big ass cold sore or mouth Herpes. Your eyebrows look weird because, like everyone else in the world, there should be two of them. You don’t know how to shave. Your chin, neck, and back of your head look like a crispy rice chocolate bar.

     You think your eyes say, “I want you,” but they really say, “Run for your fucking life; I’m here to kill you!”. If there’s more than one woman in the group, none of them can tell which one you’re really looking at because your creepy fucking stare is all over the place, unfocused on just one person. It looks like you’re looking through them, and it’s hard to pinpoint your intentions. They’re not looking back at you because they’re talking about how hot you are; they’re trying to figure out which one of them is going to have to ask security to escort them to their car when they leave.

     You think you’re the shit, so you stumble out on the dance floor, walk up behind her, put your dick on her back and start grinding on her. At first, she thinks you’re cute because you haven’t said anything yet to show how fucking weird you are. Then you grabbed her by the hips and started butt-banging her. After 2-3 songs, you’ve dry humped her enough to where you busted a nut in your pants. You came back from the restroom and thought you would get laid, so you start acting as she belonged to you. It didn’t get that far, and after one dance, you’re trying to hold her hand and act like you’re together, which doesn’t sit well with her at all. She’s just out with her friends having fun, and you’re trying to land her into a full-blown relationship by the end of the night.

     She’s not playing coy when she turns away each time you walk by. You keep looking at her with one eye wide open and the other half squinted. You look like she just dumped hot bacon grease in your lap by the look on your face. When she says, “No,” it doesn’t mean try harder or come back later. No means no, plain and simple. She’s trying to be nice, but you don’t get the hint. She doesn’t want to sample your drink. Especially from the same straw you’ve had in your mouth all night or just put your nasty ass finger on so she can suck it out. If she wanted a taste, she would’ve asked or ordered her own. The last thing she wants is you shoving something that could be germ-infested, spiked, or backwashed. She already said no thanks, so why are you still trying to shove your glass in her face?

     You smell like smoke or pot when you walk by, and she’s praying you won’t stop and try to talk to her. The look on your face tells her she’s not that lucky. You’ve walked by way too many times with that fucked up look and finally had enough alcohol in your system to where you don’t give a damn about getting turned down or being embarrassed by any negative reaction. You keep trying to put your arm around her waist with that serial killer look in your eyes, and she’s scared to death of rejecting you, so she told you she’d take YOUR number, hoping that’ll be good enough. You keep trying to take her phone and put your number in, but she knows as soon as you do, you’re going to call yourself so you can have hers, and she doesn’t want that.

      Why does she look so pissed off? Because you’re the 5th guy in 30 minutes to walk up and ask her why she looks pissed off. You don’t need to be all up in her ear, especially when your breath smells like shit or B. O. You’re creeping her out with your fucked up looks, soaking her ear with all your slobber, and burning her nose with stank-ass.

     You’ll stare at the woman at the stoplight, thinking she’s just going to roll down the window and fall for you on first sight. You actually think you’re going to convince her to follow you to a drugstore parking lot or gas station to exchange numbers or hook up with you later. Better yet, you’re hoping your crazy fucking look of desperation or psychosis will coax her from the bus stop and into your car; what’s even worse is when you’re riding in the passenger seat. Your stereo’s blasting, and she knows it’s that loud so nobody can hear her scream for help.

     Stop hitting on women at the free clinic. You got some shit wrong with your dick; that’s why you’re there. She’s there for the same reason, and you figure you both can hook up while the antibiotics work their way through your systems. You’ve got cauliflower growing from the tip of your dick, and she’s got bread dough pouring out from between her legs, but you could care less. Your crazy ass stare says she can be the bread bowl, and you’ve got all types of vegetable-looking things growing on your dick. Between the 2 of you, you can make one hell of a pot pie!

     You wanted her to think you were more popular than you are, so you made sure she noticed you walking up to every woman in the spot to say hello. Instead of impressing her with how many people you knew, you actually turned her off. Any man who tries that hard to be liked by so many women will turn off a woman. She thinks you’re a player who wants to add her to the pile of conquests you already have under your belt. You walked by with your phone up to your ear like you were talking to someone about important business, and it worked for you pretty well. You got her to notice you; that is until your phone actually rang, then she knew you weren’t talking to anyone!

     Your constant walking back and forth in front doesn’t give her the safest feeling about you. You think you’re showing interest, but she thinks you’re waiting for her not to pay attention so you can slip something in her drink. She thinks you’re a fucking psycho more and more each time you walk by. She notices you, and she knows you keep walking by, staring at her. She doesn’t smile back because she thinks you’re cute; she’s smiling back because you look like you have some form of facial deformity or birth defect, and she’s showing support for you being comfortable enough to go out in public with your face looking like you’re taking a shit on yourself.

     At the gym, you look weird as fuck following someone around, trying to work out right next to them. You’re bouncing your creepy fucking stare off 3-4 different mirror angles, and that makes you look even more like you need Holy water and a fucking exorcism instead of protein or pre-workout. You’ve tried to meet them at the water fountain countless times, and believe me, they notice, but not in the way you want them to.

     Where’s the confusion between what you think is sexy and what you’re actually putting out in the air? You think you’re overflowing with sensuality and masculinity, but you’re actually oozing fear, stank, and a lack of personality.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


MAR 03, 2021


     Why do so many men have to be players? Maybe you should be asking what made him that way. Do guys wake up one day and decide to bullshit women and tell them what they think they want to hear, to get some ass? Maybe his dad or friends influenced him to think with his dick instead of his head or heart. It also could be because women built him to be a player. They broke him down and reassembled him into the filthy piece of shit you called him after you found out you weren’t the only woman he was messing with.

     Did you tell him you didn’t NEED a man; you WANTED a man? Every time you told him that, you told him he had limited value, and you had one foot out the door. You told him if he pissed you off or if you didn’t get your way, you were out the door. Every man wants to be needed, and if he’s with you, he wants you to need him. You confused NEED with NEEDY. You thought he was going to stay where he’s not needed. True, if he wasn’t happy with the situation, he should’ve just ended it, but he liked you and was hoping sooner or later, you’d realize how stupid your statement was.

     Women complain that men make them the way they are; guarded, bitter, hard to trust, etc. Why’s it’s so hard to believe women can’t break a good man down and resurrect him into a player? He was a damn good, decent man at one point and was totally against the player role. He wasn’t even thinking about the player mentality until you made him one. You were dating or getting to know more than one guy. You planned to slowly weed them out until the best choice for you was left, but you wanted all of them to put their best foot forward to prove themselves to you. How’s that any different from men who do the same with women? Is it just because he’s having sex with them? That may be fucked up, but how’s that any different than you going out with the same number of men and allowing them to pay for everything with nothing in return?

     You’re not sure if you’re ready, but you put yourself out there like you were. You’re online with profiles on several dating sites. You’re frequently attending singles night events, and you even tell guys you’re single and looking for a good man. You found one who’s interested in you and wants to put the time, effort, and availability to be with you. Then, you turn around to say you’re not ready after a month or two while he’s getting attached to you. You’ve got too much going on, and you just realized you don’t have the time, or you haven’t truly healed from your last break up. You couldn’t have figured that out any sooner than right then, and thereafter, he’s developed feeling for you.

     You’re not as available as you claimed to be with two jobs, kids, and all their activities. Personal issues. Breakup or divorce you’re not healed from. You made it easy for him to become a player because you weren’t honest with him or yourself about wanting more than just a fuck. You thought if you told him you wanted a relationship, you’d run him off, and now he only sees you as a fuck with no hope of commitment. He’s thinking sex is what you’re about with every guy you’re going out with. You’ve engrained the “You can’t turn a whore into a housewife” mentality in his head about you, all because you were afraid to tell him the truth about what you really wanted.

     You like him, but you’re not over your ex. You want him to wait for you, but you want him to wait for you while you go out and spread your wings. You want him, but not just yet. You want to keep him around because he’s dependable and respectful. He never pressures you or makes you feel like you owe him anything. You feel like you need to see what else is out there before you settle down again. You know he’s a good man, but you’re not ready for a good man yet; there’s so much you’ve missed out on by getting married so young and staying in the relationship too long.

     He’s been burned by putting all his eggs in one basket, only to have the basket smacked out of his hand, smashing his eggs on the floor. His solution is to have multiple eggs in multiple baskets, so if something happens to one, he has another basket of eggs to take to market. You’re playing hard to get, and you think it’s cute, funny, or you think it makes him want you more. To him, you’re playing a stupid fucking game, and he decided to do the same to you.

     “I’m talking to somebody.” What the fuck does that even mean? You were talking to someone else while you were going out with him, and you want to give the other guy a chance because you think they’re a better fit. You gave this guy a chance, and now it’s only fair to give the other guy the same chance, so you want him to step back and wait while you weigh your options.

     You’re ambiguous as hell about wanting to be with him, but you want to make sure the guy you REALLY want isn’t breaking up with his girlfriend anytime soon. He’s your alternate since your primary’s already taken, and you know as soon as he’s available, you’ll sideline the other; after jumping back and forth, it’s only a matter of time before the alternate gets burned so many times he’ll turn to ash and re-emerge as a Phoenix-level player.

     He thought you liked him. He thought you liked him because you told him you liked him, and your body language said you liked him. You enjoyed spending time together, and everything’s going great. You waited until you got home to text him; you didn’t feel the spark, and you weren’t interested in seeing him again AFTER you told him to his face you wanted to see him again. Maybe it was the 10 minutes of making out at your car that gave him the wrong idea about your interest, to have you change your mind 15 minutes or the car ride home later. You’ve been going out for a couple of weeks, and out of the blue, you ended it because your ex came back into the picture, and you’re going to try again to make it work. Even though you like him, your friends convinced you that you were too young or it’s too soon after your breakup or divorce to get serious about anyone.

     When it’s just the two of you, you have the best time; but when your friends come around, you pull a 180 and turn into something else. You treat him like you’re too good for him, and you can do without him. You make him feel unimportant, and you could care less if he stayed or went because there are plenty of guys out there who wants to hit that shit. You’re doing him a favor by being with him. You let your friends laugh at or talk shit about him because he’s not on their level or fit their mold for you. You don’t stand up for him at all.

     You’re not the same person sober as you are drunk. You call him a player because the only time you’re fun to be around is when you’ve had a few drinks; otherwise, you’re pretty fucking boring, and he’s not about to finance your drinking in order to spend time with you. You’re cool as hell at the bar or the club, but other than that, he wants nothing to do with you; and by your standard, that makes him a player. You made him into a player.

     You stopped doing what you did when you first met. You wore sexy dresses, makeup, and heels. You made time to go out on dates, and the sex was wild and incredible. You actually put effort into how you looked when you went out with your friends or when you first started dating. In the beginning, you supported and encouraged him, but now it seems you could care less, so he found someone who gave him that.

     That’s no different than women who cheat or end their relationships for men who pay more attention to them and give them what their man wouldn’t. Women won’t understand or agree because it points out that women do the same thing. Maybe that man has a credible defense for being a player; it blatantly points out her equality in manufacturing him into a player.

     You use sex as a bargaining chip, a reward, or punishment. You ration sex according to how he behaves or what he does for you. You’re always threatening to leave, or you walk out on him every time you get pissed off. You’re gone for a few days, giving him time and opportunity to meet other women. You make it hard for him to unleash his inner freak or come at you with a fantasy. Some of his ideas may be weird as fuck, but others are completely doable; you’re just too worried about how you’d look to others or where he got the idea from.

     You disappeared after 1-2 dates. You took his number and never called, or you sent him a text later that night to say you really weren’t interested or you in a relationship, but thanks for the drinks. You allowed him to sit there all night, off the market, knowing you had no interest. You ask why men always have to have more than one woman because he’s thinking like a farmer; the more seeds he plants, the more crops he can harvest. Just like a woman who dates more than one man, she’s trying to find the best candidate for what she wants, but she wants something from each of them; she wishes she could take the qualities she wants and create a superhero.

     You turned him into a player by showing him that’s what you’re attracted to. You wanted him to be different; you wanted a thrill-seeking bad boy who treated you like a princess instead of a good, faithful, solid, caring man who treated you like a queen. You made him a player. He was a good man until your bullshit put a sour taste in his mouth and ice where his heart used to be. You got involved with him, knowing you weren’t compatible, hoping you could change him. You took him off the market under false pretenses, then got mad when he turned into a player and cheated on you or dumped you for someone else.

     Before you say it, you’re right; he didn’t have to turn into a player. He could’ve just walked away to play the field or be with someone else, but your bullshit didn’t surface until his emotions were invested. As a woman, you know how hard it can be to walk away when your heart’s in it. Leaving is easier said than done.

     There’s truly no great excuse for anyone to play games with anyone for any reason. The next time You ask why men are players, ask yourself what happened that could turn him into a player. Ask about the bullshit women put him through in his past that made that good man a player. He sure as hell wasn’t born that way you made him that way.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


FEB 21, 2021


     What's the purpose of trying to change someone? Even if YOU believe it's for the best, trying to get, someone to change leads nowhere but downhill faster than the speed of sound. Why would you want someone to change who they are? Eventually, they're going to revert right back to what's natural and organic. Believing you should change something about yourself is even hard to do. No one likes to change. The older we get, the harder it is to uproot ourselves and change.

     The truth is change is something to be done because you WANT to change, not because you think you should, or it's the best thing for you to do. Smoking, for example, people know they SHOULD stop smoking; they know it would be better for their health to stop smoking, but until they genuinely WANT to stop, the change will only be temporary.

     The realistic consequences of putting someone in the position to change to keep them around or for someone else will cause that person to rebel, become dismissive, or defiant. They'll resent you for trying to change them. They'll see it as you tell them they aren't good enough or don't deserve you the way they are. Granted, certain things may not mesh with your ideas, beliefs, or goals. But in reality, those things should've been discussed, weighed, and measured a hell of a lot sooner than later. Being honest with each other from the beginning and looking at the bigger picture would've spared you both the misery in trying to change and being asked or required to change.

     Some things are pretty easy and reasonable to change; others can be a little harder but possible. Some things are just fucking ridiculous to think can be changed. People are just as stupid for thinking they can change someone as the person they believe needs to change.

     It's ignorance in its purest form to expect someone to stop drinking, smoking, or drugs. Someone you know may complain continuously about not getting a good job, but they just don't want to wait. If he was a bum who didn't want to work when you met, chances are he'll be a bum on your 2nd anniversary; you can't expect them just to jump up and change their routine of sitting on your couch, driving your car, and mooching off you. You can force a homebody to change and want to go out every other weekend suddenly. You can't turn a party guy into a binge-watching homebody. You can't force a shy person to be more outgoing, and you can't calm down the life of the party.

     You absolutely, positively, can't/won't under any circumstance change someone's religion, NO MATTER WHAT!

     You can't change the way someone dresses. If she was dressed like a soccer mom when you met, don't try to change her into a short, tight dress-wearing centerfold two years later. Suppose he embarrassed you on the first date with his "Gangster gear," consisting of sagging skinny jeans, sunglasses, a backward ball cap, and a t-shirt with a cartoon character smoking weed on it. In that case, He's going to embarrass you on your 2nd anniversary when you're heading to the car on your way to a nice dinner, and he has on a ball cap and, "Doo-rag." with a bandana hanging out his back pocket.

     You can't turn a meat-eater into a vegetarian/vegan and vice-versa. You're not going to force someone to give up burgers, pizza, beer, or cigarettes. Just because you're working out and taking a more active interest in your health and fitness doesn't mean someone else has to. Trying to get someone to change their physical appearance tells them you have an issue with how they look. You'll never convince someone to have the body you want them to have until they're ready to make those changes. That's YOUR choice, and asking or trying to change someone to match your interest makes you an unfair ass. Even if the goal is for them to be healthy, that's still up to them. You can't force a person with diabetes to follow their treatment plan if they don't want to; it may take having a severe reaction or the loss of a limb to get them to realize the need for change. Some people just might need that stroke to get them to change the way they treat their bodies. Again, that change has to be their own decision.

     You can't force someone to change or give up their friends just because you think they're a terrible influence. They may very well be the scourge of the earth, but that means nothing to them. Unless they're ready to walk away from those people, you're banging your head against a brick wall. HIS friends are all players, and HER friends are party girls. HIS friends smoke weed all day, and HER friends want her to go out every weekend and meet other men. She thinks he's goofy and can't take anything seriously. He thinks she's always serious and can't relax.

     She thinks he's too old for video games; he should be doing more "Grown-up" things. His hobbies and interests are juvenile or boring. Priorities. She thinks he should concentrate more on his career and climbing the corporate ladder than his drone racing or monster battle card collection. You're into PDA, and they're not. You're not going to force your sexual requirements or needs onto anyone. You're not going to change someone's mind into doing something they have no interest in doing. Oral. Anal. Multiple partners. If that's what you're into, don't date or get into a relationship with someone who's not into any of that. It's better to be an ass for walking away because she won't suck your dick than to be a piece of shit for fucking around on her for someone who does blow you.

     Getting into a relationship with someone who wants kids when you don't is just plain fucking stupid on your part. Nothing would make you a bigger fucking idiot than to even put yourself in that situation. You deserve every shitty thing that happens in your relationship if you're guilty of this.

     Accepting people won't change unless THEY want to be the only way change will occur and take hold with lasting potential. No matter how much you love someone, how much they love you, no matter how much they KNOW they should change, and it would be the best thing for them to change unless they genuinely WANT to change. You're staring down the business end of a loaded, double-barreled failure, with a hair-trigger and a drunk, half-blind hillbilly behind it.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


FEB 07, 2021


     He won't change because he has no reason to; he has all the power. He doesn't want to have to re-train someone new. He doesn't want to risk running into someone who'll call him out on his bullshit or who'll send his ass back to the bricks when he gets out of pocket and acts a fool. He won't change because he's the center of attention. You do whatever he tells you. Your kids do what he tells them. He controls the house, the finances, the cars, where you go, who you see, what time you get home, and whether or not you're allowed to step out the front door. He won't change because, in the eyes of his friends, he's "The man" He knows if he badgers you long enough, you'll give in.

     She won't change because you won't put your foot down and be a man. She makes the real money, and you'd rather stay home, playing video games and smoking weed. Working part-time at the local gas station and jacking off to internet porn is better for your life. Not having the drive or initiative to go out and get a real job is why she won't change. You're content with sleeping until late afternoon in her bed and letting her give you a fucking allowance. She won't change because that's HER car you're driving around in. You won't disagree with or upset her because it's HER place, and you don't pay for shit. She won't change because she controls the pussy.

     Being in a controlling relationship is never a good thing, whether you're the controller or the controlled. It's a big ass pile of explosives, waiting for the right spark to ignite that shit and blow the fuck up. Both physically and mentally, when someone takes control of a relationship, nothing good can come from it. You're destined for a relationship full of possible physical and mental abuse, heartache, pain, humiliation, degradation, exclusion, and isolation.

     While both men and women can be controlling, men are more physically dominating than women. Men isolate their partner from their friends and family, creating a total dependency on the controller for their identity. They cease having their own name and become property, "That's Jimmy's lady or Sam's wife." You no longer have a first name to him or his friends. They constantly criticize; nothing's ever good enough for their standards; the bathroom isn't clean enough. The chicken's too damn dry. The laundry doesn't smell like fresh linen. Your meatloaf doesn't taste like his mom's. He threatens her. His love comes with conditions. He'd love you more if you lost a few pounds if you're dyed/cut your hair. If you made more money, he'd be nicer to you. He's built a sizeable amount of debt between the two of you, and he knows your credit will suffer if you leave him. His jealousy, accusations, and paranoia is matched only by his anger. He doesn't respect her need for alone time. She can't go out with her friends or even to the store for apple juice without him flipping the fuck out. He makes all the decisions... He makes you earn his trust or any good, decent treatment whatsoever.

     He treats you like shit if you don't believe what he does or if you disagree with him. From his religion to what type of movies you watch, it doesn't exist or matters to him if he doesn't like it. It's not important; YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT! He makes you feel unworthy; your job, the amount of money you bring in, education, none of that measures up to what he brings to the table. He teases you about your flaws, and he knows what buttons to push to make you feel like shit. He criticizes the way you look, your weight, your clothes, etc. Your ass is too big or not big enough. Your tits are saggy. He makes you feel inadequate in the bedroom. Sex with you is a fucking chore, an obligation. He makes you do things in bed you're uncomfortable with. He doesn't respect your point of view, and your beliefs are insignificant. He discourages your goals and interests. Going back to school, getting a better job, losing weight, taking on new interests. To him, your place is at home, catering to him.

     Women keep score; "You did this, so I'm going to do that." She'll spy, stalk, and snoop through every text, email, and call in your phone log, looking for evidence of something. She'll subconsciously create shit that's not even there. She convinced you're fucking around on her, and she just hasn't caught you yet. You're guilty until she's satisfied you're innocent, but we all know she'll NEVER believe in your innocence. She's demanding. She constantly argues over BS.

     She's ALWAYS right. She wants things HER way and will get pissed when she doesn't get it. She controls the sex. She wants 100% of his time, money, attention, and affection. She'll go as far as to put him in a position to choose between her and his children. She blames you for other women checking you out. It's YOUR fault because you work out. It's YOUR fault you have a coworker who likes you. She exaggerates her role in the relationship and belittles your contribution. She's never satisfied with how much you make, the gifts you give, or the time you have for her. She questions your motives behind everything; if you bring home flowers, you MUST have done something wrong. She humiliates you in public. They threaten to leave you every other fucking day. You're not allowed to have a personal life at all. She compares you and your relationship to others. Jimmy bought his wife a diamond ring. Paul took his kids to an amusement park for their vacation. The smiths down the street went to Europe for their anniversary, so by proxy, YOU have to one-up them to please her. She rubs other men in his face. Johnny at work tells her all the time how hot she is. Darius wants to fuck her so bad. So-and-so would give her the world if she asked for it.

     People wonder why someone would stay in a controlling relationship. Leaving is far easier said than done. They started off nice. They're charming and great to be around, as long as they're getting their way. The sex is amazing. You feel as if you deserve the treatment you're getting; you don't believe anyone else wants you. Being with someone who treats you like shit is better than being alone. You don't know any better. You believe you can change them. You love them. There's nothing healthy about having a controlling partner; that shit will fuck you up on the inside and the outside. A controlling relationship will not only fuck your head up but will stick with you for a long time, and will affect your future relationships, whether you want it to or not. When you've finally had enough, take the time to heal and ensure you have the closure you need to approach your next or future relationship with an open mind and heart. Be aware of the behaviors and warning signs of a controlling partner. Communicate your feelings, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. The controller or the controlled; neither is a role that'll earn you an award.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


JAN 10, 2021


     We want what we can't have, from rights and freedoms to acquisitions and opportunities. Sometimes we don't realize or even think about the things we can't have until we're told we can't have them. We're notorious for wanting things just because we're told we can't have them; they mean little to nothing to us until we've been denied access. We see things as privilege, as something we're owed or have a right to, just because someone else does. We often turn away from things that are available to us, as long as we have access to them, but as soon as they're taken away or are no longer an option, we get our asses in a vice grip about having a right to it.

     As a society, we will walk past the healthier foods in the grocery store and head straight for the bullshit that makes us overweight and unhealthy. We prepare our foods in animal fat, lard, and grease. We'll question the ethnic pride of someone who doesn't eat the "Traditional" foods of their particular race that may be dangerous to their long-term health. We pack our plates as if we're NEVER going to have another meal in our fucking lives. We make fun of those who choose to consume healthier foods or focus on their weight, diet, and fitness. We choose alcohol and cigarettes over better food choices. We'll even position our children to consume the same shit that leads their parents to issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc.

     On the other hand, what if, by some situation, those same people were told the same bullshit they've been stuffing themselves with for years was the only thing they could ever have going forward? What if we were told we could only have fried foods, instead of broiled or baked? What if we were told we could ONLY have soda or energy drinks, and fruit juice or water was denied for consumption? What if we were told how we cook and eat now was the ONLY way we could cook or eat for the rest of our lives? There would be riots in the streets, DEMANDING the same access to healthier foods! We want what we can't have; it's not a matter of even wanting it in the first place; it's about not being denied what everyone else has access to.

     We want what we can't have because we can't have it. We complain about things we can't have, even though we don't even want them. We feel the need to speak up for access and opportunities we're not even interested in. That supervisor's position at work you haven't given a second thought is now your primary focus. Only AFTER management declared it was a position they were only looking to fill with someone with a degree, even though you could do it with your eyes closed. You didn't give it any attention until the option was taken away from you. You never gave thought to the idea of going to the gym you signed up for and have been paying $30/month for the past 4 years, until AFTER you got that letter stating no one over/under a certain weight could work out there. NOW you want to go; just because you fall in the category of the restriction.

     Relationships are no different; we don't want someone as long as no one else does. We don't give them the time of day until AFTER they start seeing someone else or someone else has taken an interest in them. As long as they're around when we want them to be, as in friends with benefits. We don't want to settle down with just one person, satisfied with just a sexual agreement, until that one time they tell you they're not available for sex, they don't answer their phone, or when they tell you, they've moved past your agreement. We don't want to listen to our partners when they're asking for something reasonable in the relationship, such as verbal affirmation, more time together, or affection. As soon as the relationship ends or too late to salvage, the other person will try to do whatever they can to give what they've been asked to give. Or even better, they will get pissed off when they see someone else giving their ex everything they denied them. Some people have issues with their partner showing PDA until they stop, then they get bent in the ass, wondering what the fuck happened. THEN they want it.

     Many times we don't even know we want something until we're told we can't have it. Things that have absolutely nothing to do with us will become a front-line focus when we learn others can't have it. We'll even fight for other people to have things we don't even agree with, just because THEY'RE told they can't have it. We'll stick our nose where it doesn't belong because of something someone else can't have, just because they can't have it. We would've and could've gone our entire lives, not having access to things in life and not miss out on a damn thing. Just learning it's off-limits to us is enough to get our underwear up our asses and put ourselves on the front line of any crusade to get it. Something as simple as music, for example. Tell a die-hard fan of rap who condemns country music with every breath they can't EVER buy a country album will find a reason to complain, just because they're told they can't have it.

     People bitch about having the right to vote, but they don't. Rest assured, they have plenty to say when elected officials do things they disapprove of. Tell someone who hasn't voted for 3 years in a row they've lost their right to vote and watch them turn bitch and want it. We want what we can't have. Tell someone satisfied with working the grill at a fast-food joint for the last 5 years they can never apply for any other job, and watch them turn bitch. We fight for anything we can't have. Tell a 15-year retail store cashier they can never apply for a management position, and they're on the phone to the corporate office, claiming discrimination. We want what we can't have. As long as we can see it, we don't want it; as long as it's an option, we'll walk right past it. Take that option away and watch us freak the fuck out about it. We want what we can't have.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


DEC 13, 2020


     When do we realize the type of love we really want? Can we find true love in our first love? Will our second or third love be our forever love? How many times will a person be in love before they find the right love? Can someone give more than one type of love? We love how we understand it and accept love differently at different times, sometimes in more than one event simultaneously, with the same person. Everyone will experience at least 7 events of love in their lifetime.

THE CRUSH. The crush is the first time you see a pretty girl or cute boy. It’s normally one-sided. It’s when you see the pretty smart girl with the cute boy in class, and you like them because they’re the best-looking kids you know. It’s when you both like each other, but you’re too embarrassed to say anything because if you’re a boy, your friends still think liking girls is metaphorically “Yucky,” and girls think boys are too immature.

PUPPY LOVE. Extremely temporary, depending on where and how you know each other. If they’re your school “Puppy,” it’ll be a shorter length of time before it fizzles out, and it’ll be like it never happened. You stop and move on to somebody else without warning; you had to hear it from someone else. This love consists of everyone knowing you’re together—Note-passing and eating lunch. Maybe holding hands. No phone calls or communication outside of school. If your puppy is from the neighborhood, you’ll play together, maybe hold hands and such, but it’s 100% clean. You can still be trusted to be alone together, and your parents think it’s cute.

1st GROWN LOVE. You’re convinced you to know what love is. Your parents don’t understand this love because things have changed since they were younger. You’re in high school now, and you know you’re in love. The false “Forever” love. The love that makes you think you’re old enough to have sex. 1ST grown love is where you’ll make most of your sexual mistakes and regrets. You’ll be the most selfish and the most gullible when it comes to sex. You’ll never be more susceptible to manipulation. You’ll want to prove you’re in love so bad, and you’ll send naked photos of yourself, have sex when you’re not ready, or defy your parents for the person you love.

     You’ll establish what type of sexual partner you’re going to be for most of your adult life. This is the love you think makes you’re grown, but you still run to your parents when you need them. Your world’s coming to an end when you break up.

     This is the most dangerous event of love. “I know what I’m doing,” love. “We’re going to be together forever” false fairytale love. This is a prom date, love; you have the best, your small town has to offer love. The love you think will survive 4 years at different colleges, or when he comes back from boot camp, you’re going to move away and live happily ever after love.

     1st grown love is dangerous because it cultivates jealousy, abuse, and maniacal love. This love turns men possessive and physically abusive. The love that makes stalkers or punching bags. This love makes females define or exploit themselves sexually to compensate for their fathers' issues or with the sexual abuse they’ve suffered. Best of the worst case, you get their name tattooed on your body somewhere or an STD; worst case, you end up having a child before you graduate, and now you’re a parent, trying to get your diploma or GED. You had to drop out to start hustling or go on government assistance. Your dreams are on hold. The more people who try to get you to see this isn’t true love, the more you’ll fight to prove it is.

HEARTBREAKER. The love that does the most damage. Marriage. Children. The right after college and the beginning of your career's love—honeymoon love. You’ve begun your life together, love. Everything you’ve planned for, love. The heartbreaker is the house, cars, family, and vacation love. The love that moves you from the city to the suburbs. The heartbreaker is where you’ll fuck up the worst; you’ll never feel more pain in your life than during the heartbreaker. Cheating. Financial problems. Kids acting out. Separation. Divorce. Fighting. Feeling like a failure. Depression. Death. Dual parenting. Emotional and physical abuse.

     The heartbreaker is the love you gave your partner and trusted them not to destroy you with it, and they decimated you to a cellular level. Women will have at least 2-3 heartbreakers in her life; men will only have one. After that, he’ll shield himself from any future risk and treat every woman he meets like a potential heartbreaker; that’s what’ll make him a player and fear future commitment. He’ll never let another woman get that close to his heart again.

     Emotional and physical changes happen during the heartbreaker. You gain weight. Accidents and illnesses. You become set in your ways and refuse to change to save your relationship because no one’s said anything before. The heartbreaker builds the walls to protect yourself from being hurt or falling for the same shit again. The heartbreaker is where men enter their mid-life crisis. Women are deciding to be career singles or jump from one relationship to another.

THE REBOUND. Temporary love you think is love before you realize it isn’t loving. Rebound love is the love that gets you through the end of the heartbreaker. Only one of you feels rebound love, and it’ll be the one who didn’t just have their heart stomped on. The rebounder is for healing and distraction purposes only. You want to love the rebound; they treat you the way you wanted your heartbreaker to treat you. No matter how bad you want to love the rebound, you won’t. That’s not their job or purpose. They could be someone you know who loves you, and that made it easier to open yourself to them and feel comfortable wanting to love them, but it doesn’t matter. They’re to fill the hole the heartbreaker ripped into you.

ACCIDENTAL (TRUE) LOVE. True love. The love you weren’t looking for. You found it because you didn’t think it was out there; that’s why you found it. Actually, it found you. The accident is different from any other love before it. More interracial and multi-ethnic relationships come from this love event. Unplanned love. You weren’t in the right place to meet anyone, but you did, and the rest is history. You were out for the night with your friends, and you just met.

     The accident’s where you’ll be the most sexually comfortable. By now, you know what type of sex you want to give and receive without focusing on what others think. Your happiness is more important than anyone else’s opinion, and if they can’t support who you love, you can do without them. You won’t settle. The chemistry between you and your accident was amazing from the beginning. Before you knew it, you were spending all your time together.

     Time drags on when you’re not together but moves at warp speed when you are. Conversations last for hours. You text to say good morning or to let each other know you were thinking about them. The accident takes you back to puppy love. Time frames and schedules don’t exist; everything’s organic, and everything happens when it feels right. Accidental love doesn’t need definition through conversation; it’s just understood. Saying I love you comes naturally to both of you.

THE FUGITIVE. The one that got away. The fugitive can cross your path at any time in your life. The fugitive was the right person at the wrong place and time and got caught in your indecisive bullshit. You weren’t ready to settle down, or you thought you could do better. You were scared of change, even if it was best for you. The fugitive still crosses your mind, even if you’re happy with someone else. You chose something or someone else over your fugitive because you weren’t ready.

     The fugitive is your “Ah-ha” event. They taught you about yourself without saying a word, AFTER they got away. They taught you what important, not money, cars, looks, etc., was. They made you realize your love languages, fears, needs, and what you truly had to offer. They saw through you and could’ve saved you from yourself and from burning the bridges. They could’ve kept you from a lot of bullshit you brought on yourself. They could’ve been your first grown and protected you from your heartbreaker, but you weren’t mature enough to accept them.

     The fugitive is the love you needed when it came. The commitment and stability that would’ve made you better. You ran from the fugitive because you were scared of settling down. The fugitive had a child, and you weren’t ready for that. The thought of being a prisoner at home is what you thought would happen. They were more of a homebody, and you still wanted to close down the bars and clubs.

     Love is a weird thing as it is, but how many times can we place ourselves in the crosshairs of love and get a different outcome? When do we find the type of love we’re really searching for? How much real life must we go through before we find the love we want and deserve?



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


DEC 06, 2020


     It’s not bad sex; it’s just not the best sex you’ve ever had. It’s nothing to brag or write home about, but you also have no complaints about it either. It’s barely in the top 50%, but it’s good enough to get you off and keep you around when there’s something else to gain by staying around.

     Will a man lie to a woman about her being better at sex than she really is? Absolutely. Women lie to men; why would you think men don’t do the same? Men tell women she’s better than she really is because he needs her car to get back and forth to work. He needs a place to live. She takes care of him. She’s never been complimented on her sex nowhere near as much as he does, and she wants that to continue. No man has ever praised her oral skills, much less with as much enthusiasm, excitement, and detail, and she loves it; she can’t hear it enough. She jumps at every chance to give it up when he comes calling for it.

     She pays his rent when he’s short and gives him money or buys him gifts when he makes little side comments about wanting something but can’t afford it. Her social status upgrades him and gives him access to resources he could never get on his own. She’s professional, and her friends are in the medical, legal, or computer field, and by association, they’re his friends as well. She’s his doorway to other women he’d never get without her, and they want to do more for him than she will to pull him away. She’s his walking, talking commercial to her sexually unhappy and frustrated friends who’d love a man to tell them they give amazing sex. They all talk to each other about their sex life because they’re not experienced enough to know they shouldn’t talk about it. He’s telling her how great she is, she’s telling her friends how great he is, and now they want some of what you’re getting.

     She does “Mom” things for him, and he doesn’t want to give that up. She does his laundry, cooks his meals, cleans and picks up after him, plus gives him sex when he wants it. To him, that makes the mediocre sex worth it.

     He tells her she’s better than she really is because she believes she’s better than she really is. She put him on the spot in front of her friends. Every man has told her she’s got gold between her legs for the same reason you’re telling her she’s got gold between her legs because she’s giving you sex. She says and thinks she’s better than she really is, and he doesn’t want to comment negatively. He doesn’t want to piss her off or mess with her head and risk losing out on sex for such a stupid reason. It doesn’t matter to him if she’s good or not, as long as her shit doesn’t smell like old, sour ranch dressing and warm tuna, and he gets to cum.

     They work together, and he wants to avoid pissing her off and having to answer to HR over some bullshit if/when they break up. He was stupid and started sleeping with his boss, and he wants to keep his damn job. He’ll lie because he wants a raise or promotion. He’ll lie because he wants to pass math, and while she may be average at sex, she’s a hell of a tutor.

     He’ll lie to her because she’s pretty; he’ll lie to her because she’s popular. He’ll lie to her because he knows every guy will lie to her when they find out having sex with her is like getting an expensive gift wrapped in the plain white paper a butcher wraps meat with. She’s sexy as hell with a rocking body but having sex with her is like studying in school. You have to read a boring damn book to pass, but the A you get on the exam barely makes it worth the headache.

     Her place is a great place for his friends to hang out; her friends are great choices for his friends. Her place is a nicer, better place for his kids. He’ll lie to her because he’s sick of her asking if he’s happy with her. She’s constantly using creams, lotions, and potions, along with every product any snake oil salesman has to offer. She wants to look younger or feel better or tighter when her man’s inside of her. He’s sick of hearing what she doesn’t like about herself, especially when he’s trying to get some ass. She picks that time to go through all the things she hates about herself, and that’s when she’ll start squeezing, pulling, flapping, and jiggling her body fat or asks if he agrees with her self-assessment.

     He loves and cares about her; that’s why he lied to her about being better than she really is. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He knows she has self-image issues. He’ll lie to keep her from accusing him of looking somewhere else or going to find someone who can satisfy him, even if he isn’t. She’ll have a hard time believing him because he’s a man and sex is important to him.

     He doesn’t get many women who want to have sex with him, and he’s getting it regularly now. He’s lying about liking all of her sex because she gives him a particular type of sex or performs something special he does like. He’s never had “Freaky” sex before and doesn’t want it to stop. Even though it’s slightly average, at least he’s getting it and wants to keep it coming. He’ll keep her on the line, even if he finds better sex. He can go back to her if/when things go sideways and end it with the new woman. He’ll lie about how good she is, so she thinks she’s so good he’ll be faithful. There’s no reason to cheat or meet anyone else or go somewhere else. His compliments reassure her he won’t leave.

       He’ll lie to her because it’ll make her want to keep his praise and compliments coming. She’ll even step up the tempo and what she’s willing to do if she thinks he’s starting to get bored. He’ll set her up to ramp up what she’ll do to maintain being the best he tells her she is, or even get her actually to strive to be better. He’ll have her trying to outdo their last experience. He lies to her because she swallows, or he doesn’t need to use protection with her. He lies to her to keep her from finding a man who’ll actually enjoy her sex. He’ll even lie to his friends about how good his woman is to justify why he’s with someone like her.

    Men will lie and play down a woman’s sexual ability when she’s actually better than he’s ever had before. He won’t lie and tell her she’s not good; he’ll play her down to keep her from getting a swelled head. He’ll lie to keep her from using sex as a reward or punishment. If she knew exactly how good she is, she’d try to outdo herself each time and get him whipped on her. He’ll play down how good she is to keep her from using sex to control the relationship.

     He doesn’t want to admit she’s the best he’s ever had. That’s too much power to give. His pride is at stake; she’s damn good, and he tries his best not to show it. Sometimes he can’t help it. He’ll play her down, so she doesn’t think that’s the only reason he’s with her. He won’t tell her how good she really is, so she doesn’t realize she may be too good for him, and she doesn’t deserve the bullshit he puts her through. If she knew how good she really was, she’d find someone who’d appreciate her for more than just great sex, especially if she knows he doesn’t find her as attractive as he used to or ever did.

     He wants her to go past her regular boundaries and stretch her freak wings. She loves him or wants a relationship with him, so she’ll ramp up her performance to win him over. She’ll try to sex him into a commitment.

     Men lie to convince themselves she’s not as good as she really is because he’ll have to admit he’s not as good as he thinks he is. He may have to realize he’s had women lie to him about how good he is, and he’s had quite a few women fake their orgasms. He’ll play down how good she is to keep her from thinking he’s not good and look for someone who can keep up with her. He won’t see it as her not wanting anything to lose him; he thinks she wants to humiliate him, especially if his friends find out he can barely handle the sex she’s putting on him.

    He doesn’t want to accept someone else taught her the freaky, nasty shit he likes and has him strung out on her sex like a drug addict. He doesn’t want to risk finding out she’s still holding back because he can barely handle what she’s giving him now; there’s no way he could take all of what she has to offer, and that’ll twist his head up so bad, he’ll walk out or cheat on her to actually find someone who’s not as good as she is.

     Why lie? For the same reason, men and women fake orgasms. Faking is more for physical reasons; lying or playing up or down her skills is more emotional and mental. For whatever reason, lying up or down is theoretically never a good thing. Still, sometimes it is necessary for the relationship's fluidity as it stands, and sometimes the truth isn’t worth the result. Choose your lie wisely, though.



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 29, 2020


     Holidays are special to everybody for different reasons. We celebrate important people or events in history. Holidays remind us of something or someone we recognize as worthy of remembrance for their actions, words, or achievements and accomplishments. A relationship could be the same way; at least a true relationship should be.

     A holiday relationship can be a beacon or a detour; and an inspiration or reminder of how evil we’ve been. Holidays give us hope for the future; holidays are history lessons and proof of our evolution. Some help us not to repeat the mistakes of the past. Ask yourself if your relationship was a holiday, which holiday would be best to describe yours? Would it be a celebration or a history lesson to avoid repeating? Would it be recognition or remembrance/reminder? Otherwise, you’d forget altogether? A holiday relationship shouldn’t be a one time or irregular thing; if your relationship’s founded on the once a year holiday calendar, that’s pretty sad.

     NEW YEAR’S EVE/DAY - You’re healed over your breakup, and you’re ready to accept being by yourself or with someone who isn’t a rebound or distraction from dealing with heartache. You resolve not to be so guarded, to give up being a player or party girl. It’s time to put the bullshit aside and settle down. You’re going to be a better parent and a better spouse. You’re going to spend more time as a family. It’s about being better than you were last year, the day before, or even better than your last relationship. You’ve resolved to leave the past in the past and focus on the future, along with the good times ahead to be had. You realize the mistakes you made and take steps to avoid repeating them. A New Year’s day relationship is the start of a new chapter in your life. Good or bad, you’re able to celebrate the good times but also bury the bad and leave it there, without leaving the handle sticking up to swing when things go sideways.

     LABOR DAY - Celebrate the fruits of the work you put in every day to make your relationship work. Labor Day in your relationship is the day to look back and appreciate each other for sticking it out and working it out. This is the day to appreciate each other for seeing the value in one another and the relationship. Telling each other how they made things easy to be faithful and supportive during the relationship is equally as important as the celebration. Show how much you love them for being worth the work or “Labor” you both have contributed to making things work. The labor day relationship is knowing any relationship worth having is worth working to make it work, and credit should be shared, and the work celebrated.

     THANKSGIVING - Give thanks he stayed around when you got pregnant when so many men are bailing out on their responsibilities. Give thanks you met a good man who took on your kids from your previous marriage or relationship and loved them like they were his own. You fucked around, got caught, and they gave you a second chance. It was a hard, uphill journey all the way, but you made it, and you couldn’t be happier. Give thanks because you gave them a second chance; give thanks to because you got a second chance to be a part of your children’s lives.

     Give thanks because you made it through financial, personal, emotional, & physical troubles, and you did it together. No one bailed; you stuck by each other and made it through to greener grass and clearer skies. Success was the main course; appreciation was the bread, dressing, and sides. Choosing to give a second chance was the dessert. Happy Thanksgiving.

     CHRISTMAS - Show your feelings through not only gifts but acts of service. On his day off, he got up, washed your car, filled your gas tank, and left flowers and a romantic letter on the passenger seat. She let you sleep in a brought you breakfast in bed with all your favorites. He knows you’re with the kids all day, so when he gets home, he takes them out for pizza or gets them out of your hair, so you can at least work out in peace. He takes them for the entire day, giving you the chance to relax and decompress; maybe do some shopping for yourself. She knows he works hard, so she doesn’t bombard him with negativity as soon as he gets home. Their patience is the gift; their understanding is the wrapping with the big red bow.

     VALENTINE'S DAY - If you’re in Valentine’s Day relationship, you’re in the wrong relationship. Valentine’s Day should be more than just a once a year occasion; you shouldn’t need a day on the calendar to tell you to show each other how much you love the other. It shouldn’t be about expensive gifts, fancy dinners and such. If you have Valentine’s Day relationship, you’re not in the right relationship. If you need to be reminded to show your love for each other, your love for each other is flawed.

     EASTER/RESURRECTION DAY - Celebrate the resurrection of your relationship; the dead or dying parts were tried, convicted, sentenced, and buried. When you woke up on that 3rd day, all that bullshit was gone. You sat down like adults, put aside pride, arrogance, your know-it-all attitude, and you actually listened to each other. You stopped listening to other people poison your relationship, and a phoenix rose from the ashes. You rolled the stone away, and the grave you buried the dead parts of your relationship rose and appeared brand new, cleansed, & beautiful.

     MOTHER’S/FATHER’S DAY - Celebrate being parents. There’s no reason to separate each one. We all know Mother’s Day is the more recognized holiday, which trivializes the father's contribution because his contribution comes more from outside the home. Mothers get more credit than fathers. Instead, show equal appreciation for each other’s part in the family, not just the home. Celebrate being parents without the separation; just because mom’s home doesn’t mean dad deserves any less. Don’t forget to celebrate the act that made your parents. Don’t get so caught up in seeing each other as just your kid’s mom or dad. First and foremost, you’re a man and woman; you still need time, availability, and opportunity for time together.

     HALLOWEEN - A Halloween relationship is you pretending to be something or someone you’re not to get something sweet or hide your true self and/or intentions. You get to wear a mask and disguise yourself as anyone you choose. You can run the streets unidentified and do dirty shit without being caught. The Halloween relationship is pretending you want a relationship when you really want to just fuck; or you’re lying about being okay with just a fuck when you really want the relationship. It’s about deception, pretending they’re the only one in your life and you really have 3-4 others, and you’re giving them all the same bullshit story. Your Halloween relationship means scaring them with physical, sexual, emotional, or mental abuse. You put on a mask of a great person around other people, but when you’re alone, your true demon comes out. You’re an asshole, jealous, controlling, drunk/druggie. Living with you is living in a real-life house of horrors.

     MEMORIAL DAY - Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and future. Stop dwelling on what your ex did or didn’t do. Stop comparing the present with the past if you forgave them for whatever they did. Don’t bring that shit up every time you disagree. Don’t use some shit from 10 years ago to justify what you did last weekend. Don’t intentionally bring shit from past relationships to a new one. Sure, it does happen, but there has to be a point where being guarded becomes permanently damaged. Throw out that old sweatshirt your ex wore in college, get rid of the seat covers she bought for your 1st anniversary from 3 years ago. Buy new sheets and dump the lingerie you bought for your ex. Stop trying to hang on to your ex’s kids or family after the breakup. Memories are just memories; leave them at that.

     INDEPENDENCE DAY - Celebrate Independence Day, but remember you have a partner. When you’re by yourself, you only have to answer for yourself. When you’re in a relationship, some of that independence has to turn into a partnership. You see it as having to ask permission, and you’ll be damned. It’s not about permission; it’s about communication. When you’re single, you can believe you don’t “Need” a man, but don’t you dare say that to him. You’re independent as long as it benefits you, and that’s fucked up.

     You both got jobs and finally got off welfare and government assistance. You moved out of your parents’ or sister’s place. You moved from that drug-infested roach motel of an apartment and got a nicer place on the other side of town. Your kids are going to a better school. You saved up and got a car. You’re doing great now; celebrate your Independence Day.

     SPRING BREAK - Every day’s a party; drinking, drugs, cheating. You’re only as faithful as you need to be in relation to where your partner is. You can’t take anything seriously. You wait all year round, waiting for this one week where you can go out and act a drunk fucking fool and hope you don’t catch anything and bring it home to your partner or spouse. There’s no way they’re going with you, even if you have to start a fight to get out the front door. You’ll make up for or pay the price when you get back home.

     APRIL FOOLS’ DAY - If you’re in an April Fool’s relationship, you’re the fool in the relationship. You’re being fooled in your relationship. You’re with a player or gold digger. You think you’re their one and only, and so does everyone else they’re fucking with. You’re the fool because you know you’re being fucked over, and you’re still around, giving them a chance after chance after chance. You’re the fool because you’re getting away with shit, and you’ll get bent and pissed off when you find out they’re doing the same thing you’re doing. You’re the fool because you thought they wouldn’t cheat on you even though they cheated with you. You thought he was going to leave his wife for you. He doesn’t respect other women, but you think he’ll respect you. You believed him every time he said if go down on him 1st, then he’ll do it for you, only to have them back out each time. You believe them every time they apologize for cheating or beating you up when they do it over and over again.

     THE HONEYMOON - You jump from one relationship to another because you enjoy the honeymoon relationship. You’re more attracted to the experience of being with someone new, instead of someone good for you. As soon as the honeymoon phase is over, you’re in search of your next relationship. You can’t count how many good men or women you fucked over in search of your next honeymoon. Sooner or later, you’re going to look in the mirror or realize all the guys and females you had your pick from either don’t want you because you’re older, you put on weight, or they know your reputation.

What holiday are you living in? Living for? Is your relationship a celebration or condemnation? Holidays can remind us to appreciate the positive on the one hand and avoid repeating the mistakes we’ve made and where we’ve been with the others. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 15, 2020


     You thought they were the hottest man or woman you’ve ever seen. Someone else saw that same person and thought they were just “Okay.” Men and women wonder why others can’t or don’t find someone as beautiful or sexy as they do. It’s because everyone sees beauty differently. We see different things in different people, from height to weight to skin color to foot size. Just because you or even a group of people find someone attractive doesn’t mean everyone else has to or will think the same.

     Some men could care less what’s on the inside, as long as it’s wrapped in an olive-skinned or caramel-colored, 36-24-38 DD package with a nice, thick ass and long hair. Women deal with assholes with a wide back, broad shoulders, and tattoos who can bench press 250 pounds. People are so used to the shit the locals pull, but they don’t know what else is out there because they’ve never been anywhere else. Then her girlfriend introduced her to her man’s best friend or cousin, and he was on some higher-level shit. Men will choose the best of what his home has to offer because he also doesn’t know any different; until someone he knows introduced him to someone from somewhere else.

     That’s because other people left home. They moved out of their neighborhood and left the state they grew up in. They went off to college, joined the military, or just left to see what the rest of the country or the world had to offer. Even though things didn’t work out and ended up coming back after a few years, they still left and experienced other people, cultures, ethnicities, etc. Except for the occasional tourist attraction, vacation spots, or amusement parks, you’ve never been anywhere outside your neighborhood, city, or state.

     The people you think are so far beyond beautiful and out of your reach are regular-looking people elsewhere. People who’ve been somewhere away from where they were born or grew up know this, and that’s why they’re not seeing what you see when you see someone you think is the best you’ve ever seen.

While you’re wondering how somebody can turn down the best your area has to offer, they’re looking at that same person and wondering why you’re settling when there’s so much more outside your little neighborhood bubble.

     You’re letting people get away with treating you like shit because the options in your area are limited to those types of people. You don’t know any better because you haven’t been anywhere better. You haven’t seen anything better or had anything better. All the men and women around you look and act the same way, and that’s what you’re used to. You allow yourself to be treated like shit because that’s how men and women are where you’re from. You’re choosing the best bad or mediocre option available to you, thinking it’s the best option out there.

     You’re wondering how somebody can turn down someone you think is the sexiest, most attractive person you’ve ever seen. That’s because that person IS the sexiest, most attractive person YOU’VE ever seen. According to what they find attractive and sexy, they’ve seen better and sexier, and days where they’re from or have been. They KNOW people who look and act like those you’ve only fantasied about, and how they look is pretty standard for their city or neighborhood. They know, have friends, date or have dated men or women who look “Hollywood style.”

     You accepted your friend’s invitation to visit and experienced something other than what you’ve always been around. You went back to your hometown and asked yourself what the hell you’re doing, wasting time with people who look and act the way your hometown folk look and act. That visit elevated you to a different level. You had the chance to experience sex you never thought about, and you can’t go back to the same boring 3-4 position shit you were doing before you left. You hooked up with people you’ve never been around before, and they opened your eyes to something bigger than you thought existed. Metaphorically, you just realized the earth isn’t flat after all.

     You’re a small-town fish in a small town pond, but that works for you because you’d rather be a small-town fish in a pond you’re familiar with than to be a small-town fish in a larger body of water with different and more types of fish. You know there aren’t any sharks in your waters, so there’s no danger to your safety; your comfort zone remains intact. The drawback is along with avoiding the predators, and you’re also missing out on the beautiful coral reefs, exotic plants, and other amazing fish and sea life you’ve only read about or seen on TV or online.

     That’s why others aren’t as impressed by what your small-town mind or limited area has to offer because their area of experience is 5 times larger than yours. Your expectations and standards in men and women are pre-stone-age, and theirs are futuristic. The people in your circle accuse you of selling out or trying to be something you’re not, but the truth is you’ve taken the first step into becoming something more than what you were before. The men and women you were so interested in before accuse you of thinking you’re too good for them; take that as a compliment, especially if those men and women are grown now, doing the same shit and acting the same way they were 4-5 years ago.

     You won’t put up with the same shit you did before you left because the people you have around introduced you to other men or women who showed you how different and better they were. You had no idea some people were actually THAT hot and had great personalities. They were so down to earth and knew how to treat someone they’re interested in. You’ve never had a man approach you like a decent man, and he’s never been out with a woman who offered to cover half the damn date. You never thought you ever meet someone who had the face and body of a porn star, but they’re everywhere somewhere else. Your head’s twisted sideways from breaking your neck, checking out all the talent around you. You didn’t know these people really existed, much less knew anyone who knew anyone like them.

     Here’s the problem; people avoid leaving what’s comfortable and familiar and refuse to admit or show interest in someone different because it goes against what other people expect. For example, a black man who’s dated nothing but black women his whole life won’t consider any other woman because that’s the predominant option in his area until someone introduces him to Caucasian, Asian, or Latin women. Black women are the only women that live in his area, and he doesn’t know any better until that trip opened his eyes to a whole new experience. When he gets home, he’s going to look at his lady and the women around him and get instantly bored or develop a lack of interest in them.

     He’s attracted to exotic ethnicity. He’s never been that close to Asian, white, or Latin women, much less any who are built like models or porn stars. She’s never seen men who look like or are built like pro athletes, and they’re starstruck. They were cool as hell, and they were interested in getting to know you and wanted to spend time with you. Men and women in other places don’t play the same bullshit people in your area do, and that’s more than enough reason to want to deal with them.

     You get mad because someone you want doesn’t want you, but the person they want doesn’t want them. They could be married, in a relationship, or just not interested, but because they didn’t want you, it’s taken as an insult or disrespect. Just because you think someone’s attractive doesn’t mean everyone else should too, especially when it comes to celebrities and such. When you’re out and about, you may think someone’s drop-dead gorgeous, and they are, based on what you like; there’s no standard checklist that requires everyone else to agree with you.

     It bothers you when others don’t find your man or lady as hot as you do, yet, you’ll get pissed off when somebody does find them sexy and makes a comment or move on them. You can’t have it both ways. The same goes for you and why people you want don’t want you or think you’re as great-looking or the great catch you think you are. They’ve seen better; they know better, and they have or have had better. You’re the best your area has to offer, but where they’re from, you’re below average.

     You came back home for a visit from college, military, or wherever, and now you remember why you were in such a hurry to get the hell away as fast as you could. Everything you were taught and believed was 100% wrong, and you love your new life somewhere else. It was great to great to catch up, but you can’t wait to get back home.

     There’s no law saying because you want to hook up with somebody that everybody else should want to. You’re just pissed because you got turned down, and you don’t know how to accept it or deal with rejection. You took it as a personal assault to your taste, and instead of moving on from rejection, your defense mechanism was anger directed to the person who didn’t want what you wanted. You can’t expect everyone to see what you see. Why are you mad or offended because they don’t share your taste? Is it because you got turned down and your ego’s damaged because you got turned down, or are you pissed because you just realized your taste is nothing short of a small town?


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 08, 2020


     You’re already in a relationship, and now you’re tired or your side piece. You got used to them, they started acting like your main lady, they’re demanding more, or they started piecing shit together, and now you need to get rid of them. The last thing you want is for them to see you out and about with your main lady and fuck your shit up by confronting you or snitching on you. The solution: THE HANDOFF.

The handoff is when you start to distance yourself from your side chick to where she starts to question whether or not she wants to continue to be with you, but she’s still with you, hoping things will get better. Your ultimate goal is to get her to leave you so you don’t look like the cheating asshole you really are. He wants her to the point where she’s thinking of breaking up with you, and her friends are convincing her to leave because she deserves someone better. You plan to position her to meet someone else and want to get to know him. You want her so interested and wrapped up in the new guy and their honeymoon phase, she’ll ignore you or won’t be so inclined to retaliate for fucking her over if/when she sees you out with your main lady.

     The handoff can work with a FREE AGENT. The free agent is a stranger on the fly or with a RECEIVER, someone you know. The free-agent can be someone who’s checking her out at the club, and you’ll find a way to let him know she’s about to become available. The receiver is someone you know, and you know he wants her. The handoff is man-initiated, so the “Bro-Code” is null and void. Obligation to not fuck with your friend’s side chick has no jurisdiction when it comes to the handoff. Not getting caught takes precedence over the obligation to not mess with a female your boys were with. The receiver's purpose is to take away the anger, heartbreak, and desire for revenge and replace it with interest in someone else. If the handoff is successful, the side piece won’t find it necessary to confront or engage you in the least bit that could expose you.

     The handoff is more successful and has a better chance of working when you’re dealing with a receiver rather than a free agent. You don’t necessarily have to be friends with the free agent, but you’ve seen them around, and you have an idea of what type of person they are, based on the limited conversations you’ve had in passing at the gym, at work, or wherever. The better you know the receiver means, the better chance you have in choosing the right play to get him in the end zone. You already know the side chick, so you’re able to give inside information about her to strengthen the chances of a successful handoff.

     The handoff can only be attempted once and only works once; any action towards that female afterward is going to get your shit fucked up and put you at odds with your free agent or receiver. He’ll stay away for a while; at least until he doesn’t have any other regular options for sex, then he’ll fuck up and reach out to the handoff. Men will complete a successful handoff, then turn right the fuck around and cause his own fumble. He’ll try to rekindle a relationship with his handoff, at least sexually. Burn a handoff twice, and there’s nothing you can do to escape or avoid her wrath; she WILL make it her personal mission to fuck your shit up.

     The handoff fails when you realize you don’t want to let the side chick go, or you want to hand her off temporarily. That doesn’t work. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Spring Break. New Years’ Eve. Anytime during the year where you’re expected to spend time together, and there’s no way you can do that with 2 women. You want to hand her off long enough not to have to deal with that. It seems like a logical solution; that’s when you’ll choose a free agent over a receiver. Bro code won’t apply to a free agent, but if you’ve handed her off to a friend when you come back around, you’re basically trying to steal your friend’s lady.

     Women won’t bother with a handoff; she’ll have to be shitty about it and walk away from the game. She’ll forfeit and walk off the field, leaving him behind, wondering what the hell happened. She knows he’ll make it difficult for her to hand him off, and none of her friends will be interested in being a receiver to someone you’re trying to get rid of. Her first question will be, “What’s wrong with him that you’re trying to push him off on me?”

     Women won’t be interested in a handoff other than possibly for sex. She knows he’ll try to still fuck her AND the woman handing him off, but that’s not what she wants. Women won’t use a handoff because she knows the chances are pretty good that if she wants to come back later, he’ll at least make her a side chick, and she can talk him into a 180; meaning she’ll talk him into switching her place as a side piece to his main lady and making his main lady the side piece.

     When a handoff fails, she’ll wonder what’s going on and why you’re acting like you don’t want her anymore. There’s your chance to come clean and let her down easy with some re-planned bullshit of an, “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse. Or most likely, you’ll try a fumble recovery, meaning you’ll tell her she’s a misunderstanding or taking things the wrong way, just to keeping having sex with her. Remember, you can’t try another handoff without her catching on. If you hand her off to a free agent and she decides she still wants to be with you, it’s right back to where you started. If she bails on a receiver, he’ll get pissed at you because he realized what your plan was. He knows you just used him to take your scraps, and you’ve fucked up a friendship.

     When you initiate a handoff, make sure you’re done. Please make sure you’re over it, and there’s no chance of turning around and throwing an interception. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


NOV 01, 2020


     Be careful with what you say and how you say it; the same goes for asking people. What you think is an innocent or harmless question could be none of your business in the first place. Second, think about what the fuck you’re saying behind the questions you ask. How you meant it isn’t the same as how you said it. Put some thought into how it comes out of your mouth and across to the person you’re talking to, not just your own selfishness because you want information.

     To ask a woman if all her kids have the same father is one of those questions. That’s such a shitty question to ask. Are you truly that fucking stupid that you don’t see the shitty insult you just threw at the person you’re talking to? Do you not realize how fucked up the accusations and innuendos you’re putting on that person who’s supposed to be your friend?

     You’re putting out an assumption she fucks around so regularly there’s a chance there could be more than one candidate for the father of one or more of her kids. You’re asking if she knows who all her children’s fathers are. You’re asking her if she fucks around. You’re calling her easy and a whore. You’re assuming she was a cheater at some point in her life and got caught up in some bullshit. For all you know, she’s a widow, an abused wife, or she was abused by her ex-boyfriend she had children with, and she finally got the courage to leave his ass. Then she met someone else who turned out to be a better man, and they had a child. One of her kids could be adopted, or they could’ve taken custody of a child of one of her down and out relatives and raising that child as her own.

     Your question puts it out in the open that you see her in the same light as men when they find out she has more than one child. When it comes to women with multiple children, the more she has, the less he’ll see or appreciate her value. He sees her as used or damaged goods. He sees her as an easy fuck, and your question says you see her the same way. He sees her as an easier piece of ass needing far less effort than a classier woman with fewer children. Even worse, she was the victim or a sexual assault or rape, and one of her children was the product of that experience. How are you going to feel when she shares that with you?

     Besides that, why does it matter to you if someone’s children are all by the same man? Is that going to affect or influence your decision to be friends with that woman? Why do you care? What does it matter to you? Why would you even think to ask? Does it change the way you interact or treat them? Even if she was an easy fuck back in the day and had an unplanned pregnancy because of her wild ways, that’s her business. If she’s taking care of her shit now, it shouldn’t concern you at all if all her children have the same father.

     When you’re asking a woman if all her children are from the same man, you’ll make an enemy out of any woman intelligent enough to see how fucked up your question is. You may not mean it that way, but that’s how it came out. It doesn’t register you’re insulting that woman. You don’t know her past or situation. You don’t think your question was wrong, and you’re just making conversation. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was to her, so don’t play it off or dismiss it. When she tells you how fucked up it is, don’t make an excuse; try to understand where they’re coming from and apologize; don’t trivialize how they feel because you can’t see why they feel the way they do.

      It doesn’t bother you when people ask you if all your kids are by the same man, but everyone’s not you. Don’t accuse somebody who gets offended of being overly sensitive or taking it the wrong way; they took it the way you asked it, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them from interpreting anything said or done. They took it the way you said it, and the way you said it was fucked up.

    Her children may not have the same skin color, hair color, eyes, facial features, etc. That doesn’t mean they can’t all be by the same man. Even if they are all from different men, it still doesn’t mean what you’re implying. It doesn’t mean she was giving up sex left and right. She’s only had 3 long-term relationships and had a child from each one. Your question put her in the same category as a woman who had 3 children by different men in 3 years.

     She got married, and she took on his kids as her own. She took your question as a personal attack because one of her kids is biracial or completely different ethnicity. Unless you’re a complete asshole, don’t you dare ask a woman that shit in front of her children! For so many different reasons, it’s 100% USDA choice, grade A, American fed, Kobe beef fucked up to put a woman in a position to answer that question in front of her young children; they will remember and ask their mom the same thing later on and why her friends asked her that. You just might have started a conversation that the woman wasn’t ready to have with her children.

     Men don’t get that question because most women automatically assume a man with multiple children have multiple mothers because he’s a man-whore. He’s a player by circumstance, and he just got caught; karma finally caught up with him, and his multiple children are a punishment for being a player and a cheater. A woman’s question to another woman implies the same thing.

Do you still not see why this is such a shitty question to ask? 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 25 2020


     A soulmate doesn’t have to be a positive person or situation. Your soulmate makes you a better person, even if the experience or situation with that person was one of the worst of your life. Your soulmate makes you a better person even if they cheated on you, treated you like shit, ignored you, beat on you, and kept you underfoot. Your soulmate isn’t always about love, self-confidence, and affection.

     The purpose of a soulmate is someone who enters your life and makes an incredible impact on your life. That impact may not always be made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. That impact isn’t always positive. That impact won’t always make your heart flutter and your toes curl when you kiss. Your soulmate could scare the shit out of you, have you walking on eggshells and afraid to tell anyone else about it. They become your soulmate the minute you realize and decide you’ve had enough, learn from their shitty examples, and you become strong enough to walk away.

     Your soulmate gave you the courage to leave stronger than when you entered. The independence and recognition of your own identity and the boost to your declining self-image as a result of meeting your soulmate. They took so much from you for so long, or you had very little of yourself before your soulmate. They beat you down physically and emotionally until one day the match inside of you became a roaring flame and from the ashes, a phoenix emerged, wings blazed with a fire that can’t be extinguished.

     Your soulmate was an asshole. You didn’t think you deserved to be happy, so you accepted what was offered. You were afraid to ask for more in fear of having what little you were getting to be taken away. Your soulmate had you begging for the scraps from your own table. Your soulmate made you feel like shit about yourself and had you convinced no one else would want you, but you met someone who showed you how much more you were worth. You wouldn’t have met that other person and became so much stronger and better a person had it not been for your soulmate.

     Just like in the positive sense, there’s no such thing as a soulmate, in reference to there being just one person meant for everyone. There are going to be soulmates everywhere and anywhere who’s going to see the good in you and appreciate what you have to offer; just like there’s going to be people who see someone they can take advantage of and treat like shit. If you can believe there’s more than one fucked up person in the world; more than one cheater, more than one good, decent man or woman in the world, then you can concede a soulmate won’t always be someone who’s good to you, but your experience with them was good for you.

     Your soulmate may not have been a positive person, but they were a positive influence in your life. Isn’t that what a soulmate is supposed to do, make you a better person for knowing them? Your experiences with one another make, shape, and mold you into a better, more productive version of yourself. Aren’t they supposed to make you happy and a better friend and relationship partner? Your soulmate supports you, lift you to a higher level of yourself, and helps you see your self-worth and potential; and they did just that; they did it by treating you like shit until you got fed up with it.

     Your soulmate made you realize you not only deserved more, but you had the right to demand more. They made you see you also had more to give. You weren’t sexually experienced or expressive until you met them, and they brought it out of you when they demanded things you weren’t used to or comfortable within the beginning. They used your love for them to guilt you into the freaky, nasty type of sex they wanted, and you hated them for it until you left and found someone who appreciated what your soulmate made you hate. Because of your soulmate, you learned so many new things you realized your sexually primal side and the good man you ended up with is still thanking the asshole who turned you out even after 3 years of being together.

     They taught you to be proud of your body when they were done making you ashamed of your body. Your soulmate gave you the confidence in yourself when you were fed up with them breaking you down. They gave you the drive and motivation to start your business or go back to school and get your degree. They’ll take the credit for your success, but they never take away what they gave your soul. You walked away with way more self-respect and a higher opinion of yourself. You would’ve never had that power if you hadn’t their bullshit in your life.

     Your soulmate may have been an asshole, but that asshole turned you into an unstoppable force of nature. You went into your life with your soulmate an old, wrecked, rusty tricycle, but came out a brand-new showroom-worthy 1500 cc sport superbike. You went in not even knowing what your gifts were. When you got your power to leave, you could fly, had super strength, and rapid healing abilities.

     Everything good about you now is because of the shitty soulmates you’ve had along the way. All soulmates aren’t people put in your path to treat you like a king or queen. Their purpose is to enrich your life and make you a better person, which they did. They just did it by treating you like shit. You wouldn’t be where you are now had it not been for those people who fucked you over. You’d still be an asshole had you never met an even bigger asshole. Their drug and alcohol habit got you off drugs and alcohol or it kept you away from trying drugs and alcohol.

     Everything your soulmate did to keep you down and destroy you made you who you are now. You learned who not to be and what not to be like. You learned how it feels to be on the other side of the coin. Your soulmate played you and that reformed you from your player ways. Your soulmate cheated on you over and over again and it gave you what you needed to be the great man or woman in every relationship in your future. Your soulmate was a shitty friend and you swore you’d never be that shitty a friend. Your soulmate can even be a shitty parent who showed you how to not be a shitty parent to your own children.

     Your soulmate makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life. They make you feel as if you can take on the world by storm. They make you feel on top of the world. Your soulmate brings out everything great about yourself. Your soulmate fills that empty hole in your soul and makes you feel complete. Your soulmate teaches you about love and elevates your idea and expression of love. Your soulmate makes you a better friend. The actions, gestures, behaviors, and examples they show of themselves show you what you can accomplish when you have to right person in your corner.

     You were a pushover, but your soulmate gave you what you needed to stand up for yourself. People took advantage of you until you started to care less about pleasing others and more about yourself. Your soulmate makes you happy with yourself. You no longer need someone in your life; you can be happy by yourself until you meet the right person. Your soulmate taught you to be strong, outspoken, and independent, yet not hold the transgressions of your shitty soulmates from your past against anyone in your present or future. Everything good about you now is because of your shitty soulmate.

     Your soulmate makes you shine like the sun, and better than you could ever have been had you not known them. Everything positive about who you are you owe to your soulmate. Your soulmate’s the reason you’re the best possible version of yourself. They’ve done all this for you, by doing not much of anything for you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 18, 2020


     When a woman says she wants to take a break, she’s done. She doesn’t want a break. She doesn’t want or need time to think about anything. A woman doesn’t tell a man she needs to evaluate what’s important and if she’s ready to get into something serious. When she says she wants to take a break, she’s ended things with you. She’s more than capable of thinking about things while you’re still together. By the time she suggests time apart or a break, she’s already thought about it; she’s already gone back and forth about it in her mind. She’s already talked to her friends and weighed the pros and cons of staying in the relationship versus leaving. Taking a break is her way of breaking up with you when you haven’t done anything to piss her off to dump you bluntly and straight-forward.

     There’s no more romance, or you’re on separate paths, and she wishes you the best of luck and no ill will towards you. She doesn’t want to hurt you too much, but she doesn’t want to stay somewhere she’s not happy; that’s where the “Break” comes in. “It’s not you. It’s me.” No, it’s you; she’s not getting what she needs out of the relationship, but you’re a decent guy, and she wishes the best for you, but she knows you’re not the best for each other. Wanting or needing a break or time off is just stupid; why not say what you really mean? You either want to end the relationship and move on, you want to be by yourself and come back when you’re done, or you want to see if there’s anything else out there before you settle down. That’s what a break really is, a question of settlement.

     For men, taking a break is just that; taking a break from where you are so, he can explore other options. He doesn’t need time away from you to decide if he wants to be with you. He already knows if he does or not, but he has a halfway decent heart and doesn’t want to “Formally” cheat on you. He wants to take a break to see if he’s missing out on anything. He wants to make sure you’re still the best he can get but not feel guilty for testing the waters with other women; he wants to seek other options and possibilities but run home if there’s nothing out there.

     She wants to be alone or explore someone else and doesn’t want to cheat either, whether physically or emotionally. If it doesn’t work out, it’s a lesson learned about greener grass. She wouldn’t try to come back because she knows she wouldn’t take you back if you did that same thing. Men want the best of both worlds; he doesn’t want to be a cheater, but he also doesn’t know if he’s ready to be with just one woman.

     Time apart isn’t spring break when you can come back after a week of doing dirt or pick up where you left off. It’s not summer vacation when you disappear until fall classes resume. You don’t get to use the time apart when things get to be too much for you to handle or when you don’t want to hear the truth when you’re messing up. You know you’re doing something wrong, or you’re not holding up to your end of the relationship, so instead of meeting halfway, you want to take time apart from each other. Each time you ask for time apart or to take a break, one or both of you are getting more and more used to not being together, which is going to make the final breakup that much easier.

     When women want a break, she’s breaking up with you. When men take a break, he’s going on vacation from the relationship. His break is a Vegas weekend with the guys and not be an asshole because he knows he can’t be trusted otherwise. For him, time apart is his free pass from the doghouse if and when he’s caught out with someone else. He believes that’s all he needs to excuse what he does during the break.

     He won’t see any reason to admit to what he did during the break or time apart, but he’ll lie about it if asked. He’ll want a detailed account for every waking moment she spent when they weren’t together. His rationalization is because since he was the one who suggested the break or time apart, he has a right to know what she did, but his actions aren’t important. His break is about his freedom while she sits at home, waiting for him to come back. Her break is about finding happiness for herself and possibly to show him what he has with her and to break him of his player ways or need for attention from other women.

     Her break is telling you there’s a chance to get your shit together, but you need to see what your life would be like without her. She’s telling you there’s a chance to be friends, but later down the line when you stop trying to still have sex with her while you’re chasing and sleeping with other women. She’s okay with being friends after she meets someone else or she’s convinced you’re done trying to get back together.

     He's taking a break or time apart is a hollow threat to get what he wants physically; hers is a threat to get something she wants emotionally. He wants a threesome; she wants him to buy her nice things. He wants an open relationship while she stays faithful to just him. She wants to control the relationship and ration sex to get her way. He wants a woman who’ll be more traditional when it comes to gender roles; she wants to be independent, as long as it benefits her endgame. You’re both playing a dangerous yet ridiculous game because neither of you really wants the break or time apart.

     His break is telling her he can’t be trusted as far as she can throw him. He can’t go out of town or out with his friends without being tempted. He knows he can’t be trusted, so he thinks he’s excusing his upcoming behavior by asking for a break or time apart. She’s not stupid; there were no problems or issues in the relationship until about a month before he was going on his trip with the guys; now, all of a sudden, all these things are coming up that makes him question their situation. Surprisingly when he comes back, all the doubt, problems, and arguments magically stop, and he has everything figured out. His time apart says she should prepare herself to not hear from him regularly; he says it’s to figure things out, but it’s really because he wants to avoid the obligation of returning calls and texts if or when he’s with someone else. She should be prepared to see him talking to or out with other women.

     He’ll expect her to be at home, pining for him to come back, and he’ll turn into a fetal pig when he sees her out or talking to another man or other men all over her. Then he’ll reminisce about all the good things about her and want her to himself. Too bad that 4th break you took within the last year was the last straw for either of you, and the other person got sick of that shit. They found someone who knew what they wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, show it, and accept it, without needing time apart to re-evaluate it. You made them realize your break was a break you both needed, and they ended up making your break THEIR break 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Oct 5th 2020


     Women ask why men always feel like they have to impress her with how much money he makes. She wonders why men come running out the gate, bragging about what drives, his place, his car, etc. Women talk shit about men who brag about how much he makes or what he has to get her interested or to impress her. She’ll criticize him for doing it, but it’s not like women haven’t had a hand in making men feel they have to have a certain amount to deserve a chance with her.

    From an early age, women have conditioned men to think he has to show and prove his financial worth. Since he was old enough to be interested in girls, women have played a major part in instilling the belief he has to enforce his financial and materialistic standing to get her attention and gain her interest. He didn’t just roll out of bed one day and decide the best way to get a woman was to showcase his financials without believing it would get him anywhere. You ask what makes him think you care about how much money he has; the answer is YOU! From the time he was a young boy, YOU were the reason he felt that way.

     Not necessarily the, “You” now, but then, “You” before you grew up and matured into the woman you are now, who values personality and character over materialistic shit.

     When in school, it was all about what he had; the guys who wore trendy, name-brand clothes got the most attention from the girls. The more he flaunted what his parents could afford to buy him dictated which girls he had a chance with. Hand-me-downers or bargain store shoppers were outcasts. They were nerds, geeks, and even bullied if his wardrobe didn’t meet the standards of his peers. If he didn’t have what everyone else has, he got turned down and laughed at the girl ad beat up and picked on by other boys. If his shoes came from the outlet store, it was quickly identified and brought to the center stage for ridicule. The guys who lived in certain neighborhoods were more likely to get the girls in their class who lived in the same neighborhoods. If You lived in the projects, you were socially limited to or expected to only go for project girls. The ones from, “better” or more affluent areas were considered off-limits or reserved for their socially acceptable male counterparts.

     Boys with glasses got little to no play from the cute girls. Even the girls WITH glasses were choosy about the boys with glasses. Even if they needed them, the popular kids didn’t wear theirs because they knew they’d be singled out because of what glasses represented their social standing. Girls assumed guys with acne were poor and had shitty hygiene.

     In Jr. high, the boys who were popular got pretty, popular girls. That was also around the time girls were trying to act a hell of a lot more grown-up than before the summer break started. Along with the training bra came a new level of expectation and standard of boys who were even allowed to talk to her. Boys who wore their older sibling’s old clothes were shot down and put in their proper place in the hierarchy. If he brought his lunch from home instead of buying the snack cakes, candy, or chips and cookies they sold on the side during lunch period, he wasn’t worthy; the same went for kids who qualified for free lunches. Boys were constantly reminded of their place in the food chain. Her rationalization was boys who had more could do more, and he would bring her along with him. He was an investment in her future, even before he was in high school.

     Back in the day, it was okay for boys not to know what they wanted to do when they were in high school. Now, his entire life has to be mapped out or at least flowchart by their Freshman year. He’d better have his future completely figured out BEFORE he met her parents. Back in the day, men were judged by the content of their character and personality; how hard he worked was all she needed to see in him, not the financial worth of his family. His desire to spend time with her was what won her over. Her dad didn’t care if he was broke, or middle class, he was impressed by his work ethic. Even if he bagged groceries at the supermarket, he had respect. If he worked with his dad on the farm on the weekends or waited tables at the soda shop after school and football practice, that was more than enough for her and her parents.

     Back in the day, he could wear his dad’s suit to the prom, or any formal event, which was held in the school gym. He could drive the family station wagon and have burgers and fries afterward, and it was okay with her. She was just happy to be going with the guy she liked. Now, a limo, tuxedo, corsage, and expensive dinner beforehand is expected and mandatory! The swanky $150-$200/night hotel room HE has to pay for on a high school part-time job! He knows that’s the basic, minimum prom package, and he’s footing the bill for everything. Anything less won’t be accepted or met with disappointment, if not intense scrutiny. She won’t wait until the night’s over, she’ll let him know he fucked up right then and there. Her image is as much at stake as his proof of love and commitment to her.

     In high school, it got a little different and more complicated, but the message was still the same; if he couldn’t impress with what he had, or parents could afford, he had no chance with the upper-echelon girls. It was about the guys who had part-time jobs and cars which could pick them up and take them out. If he had a job and a car, he had his pick of the litter. How he dressed wasn’t so much of a big deal than when his parents were buying his clothes. Women knew he was paying for his gas, at least part of his insurance and his phone line. He was paying for the dates he was taking you on, which was more important than name brand clothes.

     For her, it was about him having a job and access to a car. It didn’t matter what he wore as long as it was clean. It didn’t matter what he had as long as he was driving and paying for his own. His parents weren’t buying him high-dollar clothes and such, especially if they were helping him cover the cost of his ride. A guy with a car trumped a guy standing at the bus stop, sporting the latest and greatest gear. A guy with a car was seen as older and elevated because he drove. That’s why high school Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors dated graduates and college guys.

     It was an either/or situation, and guys wanted to drive and overpaid for name-brand shit. The guy with the car was always more popular than the guy walking or riding the bus with the cool clothes, shoes, etc. In a female’s mind, he was more mature and elevated. That’s why Sophomores dated Seniors and Juniors and Seniors wanted guys who’d already graduated or college guys.

     The true difference came out when he wasn’t driving, and STILL wasn’t wearing the top of the line gear. He didn’t have a car because he was saving up to buy one, or he was helping the family out with the bills. To her, there was no reason he was still dressing the way he was when he had a job but no car. And it didn’t matter what kind of car he had, as long as it ran.

     In college, it was about his prospects for the future. It was about who had the greatest earning potential and success after graduation. It was about who’d be drafted into the pros or the next possible Olympic hopeful. It was about separating men who came from money versus men who has his own or be prepared to make his own money. Guys that showed promise in getting into college on an athletic or academic scholarship was an added factor in defining the limits of his options. How his tuition and such were paid for wasn’t really an issue except for when it came to women who were straight gold diggers or opportunists.

     The guys with money and better career options had better luck with women. She was looking for the CEO-in-training, pro-athlete hopeful, or future politician, no matter how much of a player or asshole he was. He was being groomed for success, and part of that was to associate himself with a particular type of woman. Her goal was to be that woman. Old (Family) money stops at that man, and she’d NEVER had access to it without him. The guy making his own millions would put her name on the bank and credit cards too, and that’s what she really wants.

     Women wonder how and where a man comes to the conclusion that she has to have sex with him after a date. The answer is simple; the prom. If nothing else, prom night was the night most girls were waiting to have sex. She knew how hard he worked and saved to get the money to afford all the things she expected of him on prom night. She knew he was going to have nothing to show for his efforts while she was treated to the best night of her life, up to that point in her life. She wanted to show her appreciation and gratitude. Women continue to condition men to think that way because women continue to have sex with men on the first date.

     Men have been conditioned to expect sex after paying for a date because that’s how some women said thank you or how she acknowledged she was getting a free night out, and he wasn’t getting anything in return. Women who hide behind the word “Traditional” and think men should pay don’t realize HE chose where they went and what they did, and she went along with it; she had no say or opinion. Women still feel they deserve that free night out and want to dictate how much he’s going to pay for that night out. They look at him to pay and call it, “Chivalry.”

     Women who say it doesn’t matter what her man has or how much he earns can say that because he DOES have it; he DOES earn it. She’ll tell you it’s not important to her that he owns three cars because she can grab the keys and has access to those three cars. She says she doesn’t need the big house because she lives in a big house. We all know she’d criticize him if he lived in a studio apartment and slept on a fold-out couch or futon; that’s why he’s bragging about his car and home.

     Don’t fool yourself into thinking she’d be as interested if he stocked shelves at the local retail store or his car was missing its front and rear bumper, along with the hood and sounded like a lawnmower when it was running at its best. She knows she wouldn’t go out with him again, or she’d just turn around and walk bright back into her house.

     It’s not about the money he spends on her; it’s about the money he spends. She knows he values money and materialistic shit. She’ll define or force him to prove his love, based on how much he comes out of pocket. The value of their relationship is defined by how much he spends on his home, vacations, cars, etc. Back in the day, a date could be something free, not now. She’ll talk shit about him if he takes her somewhere featuring a ladies’ night. Females will talk shit if he uses a gift card or coupon. Females gauge how physical they’d get, based on how much he spent on their date and girls did the same with boys when they were younger. That’s why they think they deserve something physical now they’re older.

     She doesn’t feel like enough was spent on her; he didn’t spend enough money on the date in total. They just went to a movie or dinner and not both. He wanted to go for a walk and get to know her, but she didn’t see it that way. She didn’t get dressed up for just dinner and a walk; she expected dinner AND a movie; dinner, drinks, AND dancing. She’ll talk shit because the part of the date that costs money didn’t last that long. He spent $35 on dinner, and everything else was free.

     When she asks what he does for a living, she’s making sure he has a job, but also gauging his financial worth and stability. She’s making sure he can afford her. That’s why his rank is one of the first things most women who meet military men ask. They want to see how much he makes.

     Why do guys brag about how much money he makes and what he has? It’s not because he’s an ass; well, he may be, but he’s been conditioned to believe he has to afford her to deserve her. He’s been judged from elementary school through adulthood on how much he makes, no matter what she says. Now she’s offended or turned off by it. She may not care if he’s rich or not, but she wants a man who’s not struggling either.

     Her parents didn’t want her with a boy who they thought had limited or no prospects of success in the future. Whether he was walking, riding the bus, or a bike, he was beneath her if he didn’t have what the wealthier kids had. He’s too poor or common for her. Her parents will judge his worth by his parents; their jobs, home, education, etc.

     He had to be popular. He had to drive. He had to have money and take her out. He had to get her special occasion and holiday gifts. He knew if he didn’t come home with roses (Nothing else but roses), an expensive gift, and a nice dinner for Valentine’s Day, he was going catch hell for it. Women made an expectation and requirement. She’s made him believe that if he doesn’t wine and dine her on the anniversary of their first date, first sexual experience, or their wedding, he’s uncaring, selfish, and doesn’t appreciate or care about her. How much he spends is how he proves he really loves her.

     He couldn’t just come over and visit. He couldn’t get dropped off and picked up. His parents or older siblings couldn’t chaperone or double-date. He couldn’t be seen riding a bike to her house; he had to at least have a scooter. Females didn’t want the guys who stayed at home. She didn’t want to come over for dinner; she wanted to go out to eat. She wanted to go somewhere they could be seen, and she could show off how much he was into her in front of other people by how much he spent. She wanted a boy who hung out at the mall on the weekends, even though he didn’t buy anything. She wanted to decide and control what they did, where they went, and how much he spent on it. Girls wanted to brag about where he took her to her friends. She wanted them to be jealous of what her man did for her. That’s why they dated older guys

     A man who uses his money to get a woman will lose his money to that woman. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Sep 27, 2020


     Don’t you feel the least bit guilty when others get caught up in some shit caused by your bullshit? You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself or your mouth shut and, someone else paid the price for you and your shit. Does it ever occur to you that for every action, there’s an eventual and equal reaction? You bring down hell and high waters on yourself and anyone else unlucky enough to be around you when you get in one of your “Moods,” and they’re the ones who dig you out. Every group has that person who’s incapable of guilt because they’re too busy, fucking everyone else over. If You don’t know who that person in your group is, it’s most likely you!

     You’ll let somebody take the fall for something you BOTH did, but you got away, and there’s no sense in both of you going to jail and ruining your lives, so you’ll keep your mouth shut and pretend to support your friend when they’re on their way to prison.

     You went out, got drunk off your ass, and your friends had to keep you from getting your ass kicked. They got their ass kicked instead. You started some shit, and you thought your friends were going to be enough to get you out or back you up before things got too hairy. Next thing you know, you’re all flat or your asses; choked out, knocked out, or you’re getting dressed to attend the funeral for the friend who was shot during the altercation you started.

     You just can’t keep your mouth shut. You can’t let shit go. No one’s going to punk you or get in your face, even when you’re in the wrong. Somebody said or did something, and they apologized, you’re not going to be disrespected. You don’t take shit from anybody. You got into some shit with the wrong person, and now it’s bigger than you can handle. Your woman subcontracted you to a fight you have no knowledge of and every intention of avoiding. She put far too much confidence in your ability to defend her, and she thinks she has the right to talk shit because she’s not the one who’s going to settle it. She can say whatever or do whatever she wants, including taking a swing or using a racial slur. One of your friends got knocked the fuck out or killed over some shit you started.

     Your girlfriends have to babysit you because you’re fuck-faced drunk. You’re dancing on the bar with men pawing all over you, and they have to pull you down and keep your wild ass under control. They have to keep you from hooking up with random men behind your man’s back. You’re determined to go home with the guy you just met. They can’t enjoy themselves or have a good time because they’re busy keeping track of you. You ruined everyone else’s night, but you don’t care, because you had fun.

     You didn’t want to leave your car behind even though you drank way too much to legally or safely drive home. You were too selfish to consider the risk you were taking until after running that red light and smashed into the family, driving home from spending the holidays with the grandparents. You survived, but those children in the other car lost their parents, and here you sit in court, crying and hoping for leniency, You’re young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, but what about the family of the person you killed walking home from the store. You chose to drive drunk, and you felt you were treated unfairly when you got a DUI, just because your BAC was SLIGHTLY above the legal limit. You could care less about all the other people on the road you put at risk because you were just “Buzzed.” To you, that isn’t the same as intoxicated.

     You both had a couple of beers with dinner then drove home with your kids in the car. You got into an accident, and you blame the other driver, or you want to sue because your kids could’ve been hurt. The fact you knowingly drank and got behind the wheel with your children is the same as smoking in your car with your baby in the back seat. You don’t think about the harm you’re putting your children through, and they have no say in the matter. Are those beers worth it? Are you THAT hard up for a cigarette that you’ll subject your baby to secondhand smoke?

     You lied about your age because you think you’re too mature for boys your age. You’re only 16, but now, some 23-year old’s in a world of shit with the law or your parents because you wanted an older guy who could drive or had money. Because of you and your shit, he’s now a registered sex offender, or your father or brothers took matters into their own hands, and they’re answering for something they shouldn’t have done. Your selfish choices landed more than one person in hot water, and you think your half-ass apology will make everything go away.

     You hate wearing condoms, so you slipped it off when you changed positions. She knew you didn’t want kids, but she wanted you to be part of her life forever. You thought having a child would be the solution to all your marriage problems, but all you did was cause resentment towards that child when things got worse. You both lied to each other and said you couldn’t have kids. You said you loved her because you knew she wasn’t going to fuck you otherwise. You told her you wanted her to have your baby. Now, she has to drop out of school and take some bullshit job to support the child you bailed out on. You could care less because you’re not the one who has to take the responsibility; you already have three you don’t take care of

     You know she wants a baby, and that’s the last thing on your mind. You don’t want a kid, and you most definitely don’t want one with her. You know the only way she’ll let you go in without a condom is by telling her whatever she needs to hear to get what you want, and it’s her job to deal with whatever consequence comes from her choice. In your mind, it’s HER choice; she knew what you were about, and SHE should’ve been more careful. You told her up front, and if she was dumb enough to let still you fuck without a condom, that’s HER fault if she gets pregnant.

     You have an STD, but you’ll be damned if that’s going to stop you from fucking tonight. You won’t put your lady at risk, but your side chick’s a different story. You got the prescription, and you only have to refrain from sex for a week while it does its thing, but you can’t and won’t wait; a week’s too long to go without pussy. She has that gift that keeps on giving, and since she hasn’t had any flare-ups or symptoms in a long time, she won’t say anything. You’ll go out on the prowl for pussy and hope you have enough antibiotics in your system that you won’t pass it on. If she’s unlucky enough to catch your burning dick disease, she’s just going have to deal with the repercussions. You’re not going home empty-handed, not even for even one weekend.

     Are you so self-absorbed you don’t give a damn about the destruction and mayhem you cause whenever you’re out of your cage? You’re a bully. You think it’s fun and funny to crack jokes and pick on other people to make yourself feel better. You’ve been relentless in your torment of someone who did nothing to you except inhale and exhale the same air as you. You’re the reason someone walked into your classroom or office building and opened fire. They were gunning for you but took out fourteen other people while you ran out the back door. Your physical and emotional attacks became too much for them, and they took their life. You didn’t know about their battle with obesity or bulimia. Your constant jokes about their stutter, acne, missing or rotten teeth weakened their will to fight their clinical depression, and they took their own life.

     You fucked up someone else’s confidence and self-esteem because yours was in the shitter, and you didn’t want anyone to see you as less-than-perfect. You’re in a miserable time in your life or relationship, and you don’t want to go through it alone, so you fucked up someone else’s so you could have a rebound buddy to hang out with. You wanted to avoid showing your flaws and shortcomings to your friends, so you always point out theirs. You think it’s all in fun to crack jokes because one of your friends has weight issues. They aren’t as popular or good-looking as you are or because of some physical or mental disadvantage. You’re blackmailing one of your female friends into having sex with you with a sex video they made last year during spring break.

     You’re married, and your husband doesn’t make you feel sexy anymore, so you meet another man and make him think he’s going to get laid. At the end of the night, you thank him for the drinks and making you feel sexy again and leave him hanging. You don’t know his mental state, and he follows you home, pissed off, and psychotic. You didn’t think of it at the time, and you didn’t care because you got what you needed.

     You ruined your family with your infidelity because you thought you deserved someone younger, thinner, or better-looking. Your wife’s two years younger than you, but she’s too old for you now. He’s working to make a better life for both of you. You’ll let him pay all the bills, thinking everything’s fine while you save your money to move out or leave him for someone else.

     You told other people something that was told to you privately and in confidence, and it didn’t occur to you to keep it to yourself. Your thirst for popularity fucked up your better judgment, and now you have two or more friends at each other’s throats because you let some shit “Slip out” on purpose. You should’ve kept your mouth shut, but you thought it was a funny story to tell, to get revenge, or you felt your place as the Beta female slipping away. You have a shitty relationship, and you’re tired of your friends and their perfect lives, with their perfect partners, perfect jobs, and everything else you don’t have. Your jealousy will drive you to sabotage what they have with very little guilt.

     You’re sick as a dog, but that won’t keep you from going to work and passing your shit on to someone else. Your respiratory virus or whatever you have gone through the office like a tidal wave, and someone took it home and passed it on to their asthmatic child who ended up in the hospital.

     Don’t you feel guilty about the damage you cause when you got drunk and let it out in open one of your friends cheated? What about letting it “Slip” one of them had a teenage abortion or gave their child up for adoption? What if you let it out the bag that one of your friends is adopted and their parents weren’t ready to have that conversation yet? Guilt isn’t something you’re familiar with because you’re usually the one dishing out the bullshit. You don’t feel guilty because you’re usually the one having a good time while everyone else is taking care of you when you’re drunk, keeping you out of fights, or from making bad choices like sneaking off to have unprotected sex with somebody you just met.

     You’re the person in the zombie movie who’ll push someone in the way of the horde to save their ass. You’ll drive off and leave everyone else behind in the haunted house, to get butchered by the serial killer, or shredded by whatever’s in the fucking woods hunting you all down. You’ll stab a co-worker in the back to land a promotion you’re both qualified for or sell them out and get them fired. It’s impossible for you to feel guilty. You have no concept of guilt while you’re fucking other people over to benefit yourself.

     You say you feel bad, but you really don’t care; it’s fun and hilarious to you while you’re doing it! You feel bad because only because everyone around you knows you’re the main reason the consequences and bullshit happened in the first place. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Sep 20, 2020


     No matter what happens, what you do, where you go, or where you are, you always manage to find yourself an enemy. You have to let everyone in the room know you’re not going to take any shit from anyone. You’re a badass, the big man on campus, or the queen bitch, and you are not to be fucked with. You’re in charge; you know more than anyone else, at least according to you.

     You’re not happy until/unless you’re in someone’s face, beating on your chest or roaring like a lion. You did six months in juvenile detention when you were younger; you’ve been in and out of jail or prison, and you live by a different code. You’re used to walking out into the yard and making your mark before being made a bitch. Not being locked up is easier because you don’t have to worry about getting shanked by one of your friends.

     You woke up in a cage with six other people, given two hours to escape or die, and instead of working together with the others, you’ll go off on your own, or you’ll try to do everything yourself. You’re only out for number one. You’re trying to take over or establish yourself as the leader. If it’s not your idea, you don’t want to hear it.

     You’re the guy in the horror movie who wants to hunt down the killer or beast instead of getting in the running car and driving the fuck away. You’re the woman who always has something negative to say about everyone and everything. Everyone’s jealous of you and out to undermine and destroy you.

     You’re the angry drunk, the bully. You can’t go anywhere without getting into a fight with somebody over the dumbest shit. Your friends have stopped asking you to hang out because you’re an asshole. You can’t let anything go or walk away. No one’s going to punk or disrespect you, especially in front of people, you know. If you run into someone in-passing, instead of just saying, “Excuse me,” it’s “Watch where the fuck you’re going.”

    You’re that girl who thinks the dance floor belongs to her. When your favorite song comes on, everyone had better get out of the way or get knocked over, and you won’t even turn around and apologize; they shouldn’t have been in the way, or they should just expect it and deal with it because you’re drunk.

     You’ll find an enemy in any situation because you’re in a situation you can’t control. You’re scared and don’t want anyone to know you’re scared. You’ll make enemies because you’re out of your natural element, and you need something to latch onto that you CAN control. Anger and frustration are a safe zone for you, and it hides your fear and confusion about the situation. You’ll focus on something irrelevant to the bigger picture and act like you saved the world after you’ve solved it. The car overheated and blew a tire. You’ll act like you fixed the car’s overheating issue after you swapped the tire out for the spare.

     Your “fight or flight” initiative will turn to one extreme or the other, and yours always turns to “fight”        You can’t get along with everybody; no one can, but you’ll take it to the extreme to where you want the object of your hatred to submit to you. You just can’t keep your mouth shut; you can’t admit you’re wrong or don’t know the answer or have a solution to the problem at hand. You always have to be right and in control. People who question you, call you out, disagree with you, or know more than you are a threat, therefore, an enemy. Any challenge will be taken as a direct assault and met and dealt with aggressively and violently via confrontation.

     You make enemies because you can’t deal with people who do not agree with you any other way. You have no intelligent or credible response or action, so your fallback is confrontation. You’ll make a scene and get loud, hoping to get your way through humiliation or someone else’s desire to avoid the confrontation. Then you’ll stick your chest out or flip your hair back in victory.

     You’ll find an enemy anywhere go because you’re looking for an enemy everywhere you go, even if and when your life or safety is at stake. If working as a group earns you a reward or prize, you’ll play along until you see an opportunity to fuck someone or everyone else over and claim success and credit for yourself. You always find an enemy because you just can’t help yourself. You’re jealous, you lack self-esteem and confidence, and you’re afraid it shows. You fake your bravado. You secretly see your enemy as a competition. You’re afraid nobody will listen to you unless you’re a bully. You’re a fucking bully because you’re used to being ignored. You think acting tough will get you respect or laid.

     You don’t know how to make or keep friends. You don’t have anything positive to contribute, and no one’s interested in what you have to say because you’re a dick, and you’re proud of; hell, you broadcast it. You’re a snotty know-it-all or ghetto as hell, and everybody should deal with it because that’s how you’ve always been, and you won’t change. You can’t help yourself; for some reason, you can’t have a good time or even save your own life without starting some shit with someone you just met or don’t even know.

     You just have to be in charge, even if everyone’s on the same page as you; the work and tasks have been equally divided and assigned. Everyone knows their job and what they’re responsible for, and things are running smoothly. That doesn’t work for you; somebody has to be in charge, and that someone’s going to be you. You’re the king of the hill; every idea has to come from you, and nobody else knows shit but you. You strive to be at the top; to be on top, but the higher you aim, the farther they fall. No matter what happens or situation you’re in; you’ll manage to make an enemy. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 30, 2020


     Our priorities are so messed up right now, some of the shit we do as a society should, but don't even shock a person anymore. A man will walk out or cheat on his lady/wife after an argument or at the first sign of trouble, but he'll stay 1000% die-hard faithful to a fucking sports team that hasn't been to, much less, won a championship in 15-20 long years! When it comes to the area, he lives in a grown-ass man who will fight, die, and even kill another person for wearing a rival team jersey during a game; or because someone disrespected his, "Hood," or for wearing the wrong color. He will bail out on his child if/when the mother doesn't want to be with his sorry ass anymore. 


     We'll complain about the prices, out-of-stocks, service, product cleanliness, and general shitty experience of a retail/grocery store or food at a restaurant and swear never to go there again; until next weekend. We're more faithful to places we claim to hate more than we stay faithful to our partners. 


     We'll spend $200 on sneakers without a second thought, but complain about $50 funky ass dollars on Valentine's day for flowers and the 2 for $30 dinner special at the local chain restaurant. You'll pay top dollar for the latest video games and play all damn night, but the thought of a "Just Because" card to your wife never crossed your mind. 


    Last night's meatloaf was dry, so he's out fucking someone else. He fucked up the laundry, and all of a sudden, things aren't working out. 


     We bitch about the cover charge, the drink prices, the fat/ugly men and women, the music, the service, the watered-down drinks, even how bad the bathroom smells, but we'll stay more faithful to that dance club than we will our partner. Hell, a man could get his ass mauled, and his teeth kicked in, but as soon as he's healthy, his woman has nursed him back to health; he'll be right back there again, showing the loyalty he should be showing his lady. 


     Women will walk out on their men at the first sign of trouble but will stay faithful to a shoe brand until her dying breath. She'll hit 5-6 different stores all over the city, trying to find a certain purse, then pay $250 for it, without pause. Men will stay more faithful to a tool brand; women will stay more faithful to a brand of toilet paper or diaper for her child. Men and women will call it quits or step out on their relationship quicker that shit but will stay faithful to a beer or cigarette brand. We'll stay more faithful to a shitty friend who ain't about shit or the paper to wipe their ass with, over our partner. 


     We spend big money on aftermarket rims, stereo, CD/DVD players, touchscreens, etc. for our vehicle, but at no point did the thought of a car seat cross our minds. Women won't lose weight to keep her man's eyes on her, but she'll drop that weight in a second after the breakup or divorce to make herself appealing to other men. A man will die and want to be buried in his favorite football jersey his ex bought him ten years ago, but he just can't seem to locate the polo shirt his lady bought for him a week ago. 


     We put so much trivial shit in front of our partners; it doesn't even register or phase us one bit, which is the worst part; we don't even see it. It goes more overboard when the other person shrugs their shoulders and think it's okay, that's just how they are. If not for you, think of your children, if you have any. You have a man who shows more loyalty to time spent on a fucking video game system than time with you. He'll spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes but bitch about a night out with you. He'd rather spend his entire Sunday, watching sports than to interact with his children on the only day they have free as a family. She's more faithful to her name brand purses and designer perfumes. People nowadays are more devoted to their cereal brands than each other. Most people have one foot out the door, waiting for the first sign of trouble, and it's either Adios or they're with something else!



Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 23, 2020


     Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news, much less a witness to the aftermath that may come with it. It does happen, though sometimes it has to happen. It's inevitable; a runaway train with no brakes or way to stop a crash from happening. The truth was bound to come out eventually, and the fucked up situation that unfolds afterward can range from awkward as hell to funny as fuck, depending on how warped your sense of humor is.

     Bad or funny, awkward or uncomfortable, to witness someone's discovery of some fucked up truth, what if you're the reason the truth came out?. It wasn't intentional, the wrong info came out at the wrong time n front of the wrong people. How do you react? What do you do? What can you say? Do you try to help the guilty save face and pretend it's a joke? Run the other way and watch that ship float or sinks on its own? Dash in the opposite direction to avoid being caught in the middle or shanked by mistake? Or do you pull out your camera phone because you know some fucked up funny shits about to go down?

     What if an innocent question, comment, complaint in front of the wrong person cause a scene or situation. Now you're stuck right in the middle of, with no avenue of escape? You meant well; you're just doing your job, and the result was spilling some shit someone else has to answer for. What if, during the typical performance of your job, you come across some information you have no choice but to reveal, knowing it's going to lead to a volatile situation?

- The cop who just pulled over a car and the woman inside just found out the guy she's on a date with is driving another woman's car; what's even worse is they've had sex in that car. An even bigger smack in the face will be when she finds out the other woman is her date's wife!

- The co-worker or supervisor who just asked the girlfriend/boyfriend if they're the spouse. Or the subordinate who just wished his boss and his girlfriend a happy 15th anniversary.

- The friend who just put it out in the open that you DID date/sleep with the opposite-sex friend you lied to your partner about while you both were in college. Hell, you almost got engaged.

- The priest who baptized two children over two weeks; the first was a married couple; the next weekend was the same guy but with his girlfriend.

- The doctor tells you that you have an STD, but your partner's test came back negative.

- The stranger who just let it out that the girl you just started seeing isn't the front office manager she told you she was, but a stripper who gets drunk and sucks dick for money.

- The teacher between parents who just found out their spouse has been fucking someone else who turned out to be their kid's best friend.

- The doctor in the room who just gave a pregnant woman her six months check-up. She tells the happy couple everything looks normal and healthy, but the confused husband tells the doctor he's only been home from deployment for three months.

- The pharmacist who has to stand there while someone has to explain to their partner why they just got a prescription for antibiotics for an STD when they told their partner they were getting meds for a UTI.

- The cellphone retailer who just asked the girlfriend if she's the wife on the account in front of the married man.

- The friend who just asked you about the guy/girl you were out in the parking lot with to fuck or went home with and fucked last weekend, not realizing their fiancee' was standing at the bar behind them.

- What do you do when you're the cashier who just rang up $150 sneakers for a couple when the girl's boyfriend shows up, catches her using the cash he gave her on another man and demands the cashier to refund and return his money.

- The waited who's serving the table when someone just got caught with somebody else having dinner. They already ate, and he can't pay the bill because his date walked out pissed, and his woman took back her bank card when she dumped him.

- The hospital staff who has to tell a man his son/daughter isn't his when there's a serious medical issue or accident, and he wants to donate an organ or blood to his child. Or when a man finds out, HE has a medical condition that made him infertile for years, but his wife is six months pregnant.

- The new friend you recently met, they call your spouse by your side piece's name, thinking they were the lover you've been bragging about.

- That person you've known for a few years who didn't know you were married, and they say so when they meet your spouse for the first time.

- That person who compliments or comments a change in the appearance of the person you're with from the last time they saw him/her, but they've never met.

- Confuse spouse or significant other with their child.

- The banker who just revealed the secret account or credit card in someone else's name.

- The mortgage broker that just gave away the presence of a second address while a married couple is refinancing their home. How about being the car dealer who just spilled the beans about the purchase/payment of an unknown 2nd vehicle when their car's brought in for service.

- The doorman at the club who just caught and confiscated the fake I.D. from the 16-year-old girl. She was trying to get into the club with her 22-year-old boyfriend, who she lied to about her age. And they've been dating/sleeping together for the last four months.

- The police officer who pulled over and has to arrest the guy for a warrant and suspended license. Plus, he has to impound and tow the car, leaving the woman he's on a date with, stranded 20 miles from her place.

- The coroner has to show two different people who show up to identify the same body of their spouse.

- The tax person who just asked you in front of your girlfriend/boyfriend if you'll be filing separately this year or married like last year.

- The hotel manager who asked you if you'd like your normal suite when you and your significant other show up to get a room for a romantic getaway and the other person's never been there before.

- The jeweler who just showed you the wedding ring you took in to have cleaned, instead of the earrings you had made for your girlfriend.

- Your regular mechanic/car detailer who just called to tell you the car you don't have is ready.

- The saleswoman who just asked your wife how she liked the sexy lingerie her husband bought her two weeks ago she NEVER got.

- Everyone in the delivery room where the husband's white, the wife is white, but she just gave birth to a biracial baby.

- The bartender who let it slip that you were at the club last weekend when you told your partner you were working late; they made a comment about who he thought were the two of you in the parking lot last week after closing.

What if the person who's just learning about something for the first time has questions for you? What if they want details as to whatever it is you just threw out in the open? If your profession dictated the release of information, one person tried to keep private, that's not your fault. If you happen to let some shit slip, I guess they should've been more careful about their bullshit or not have been doing it in the first place. The point is for you not to feel like you betrayed someone's trust or confidence. Definitely, don't risk your job, trying to keep someone from getting caught in their bullshit. If one of them is your friend, how do you think that friendship is going to continue after the storm clears and they're single, unemployed, or just plain passed out? If you find yourself in the middle of some shit, the best thing to do is turn your signal on, get all the way over to the right, and get off at the next exit and let traffic continue without your participation.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 09, 2020


     Coffee's not the only cliche', but it's fucking boring. Coffee as a first meeting or first date is a predetermined restriction on how much time a person has dedicated to spending getting to know enough about you and puts a 30-45 minute timer to plead your case for their interest or a first date. You essentially have until they finished their dessert or iced mocha whatever the fuck they ordered to convince them you're worth a chance.

     The suggestion of a movie as a first date will most likely always be met with rejection. "We can't talk during a movie" is their defense. So what you're saying is all we get is 90 minutes with you on the first date? Can't we meet before or talk afterward? Again, the time frame has been pre-established, but realistically, not wanting to see a movie on the first date isn't even something some people believe; it's more of what they've heard or been told by other people.

     Women are quick to shoot down the idea of a first date movie. They'll suggest dinner instead. First of all, if you're not paying or have any intentions on at least contributing, you have very little reasonable say in the planning or events of the date. That may sound shitty, but it's true. What women don't realize is that when they speak of, "Traditional" style dating, the man had 100% control over the date and the woman went along with whatever he had planned, so before you start talking shit about a man being TRADITIONAL, learn the whole fucking tradition, not just the part that benefits you by him paying!

     The first date should more about chemistry than conversation. Of course, communication's essential, but hopefully, you've spent some time via phone or text to decide on the initiation of the first date anyway. Besides, what's wrong with talking AFTER the movie? Even on the drive home, if the available time for the night's against you?

     "I can't see your face over the phone" is what a woman will say. "I can't see your eyes when we talk on the phone." "I want to see your eyes!" "The eyes are the window to the soul!" Shut that shit up; that's some shit you either read, heard in a movie, or from someone else. You came up with that silly-sounding shit to reinforce your case against the idea of a movie. The truth is that most of the other suggestions for a first date are just as ridiculous as irrational as you'll say a movie is for a first date, you just haven't put that much thought into them because you're merely repeating someone else's thoughts about it. Still, they're just as bad, if not worse.

- LUNCH/DINNER - I don't know about anyone else, but the last thing I want is to look across the table to see someone talking with a mouthful of food. Who wants to see a piece of salad of steak wedged between their date's teeth while they're having a conversation?

- SHOPPING - Awkward as hell. Grocery shopping is NOT a practical way to get to know someone, just because they're already out and about, and they're just a few minutes from where you are. Clothes shopping can also put someone in an awkward position in the event the person they're meeting up with is materialistic; you'll end up spending money you don't have to try to impress them or giving out too much info about your financial status.

- CHURCH - Just like your thoughts about a movie, you can't talk in church. Not only is it a weird situation to be in, what if the two of you don't share the same faith or religious ideals?

- HIKING - Once you're done, you have to clean up, even if it goes well enough to where you want to continue the first meeting into a first date. One person may be more accustomed to hiking than the other, and in an attempt to keep up with or impress you, they overextend themselves, resulting in an unhealthy situation.

- WORKING OUT/EXERCISE CLASS - This could be seen as a bad idea due to just plain, old, self-esteem. She may feel self-conscious about how she looks in workout clothes, especially if the women around her are smaller with tighter bodies. She may feel like shit because she's huffing and puffing on level 2, and every other woman around her is on level 7. He may not be as gym savvy as she is, and nothing will make him feel more like shit than if he can't keep up with her step or bike class. He may not be able to do as many push-ups or lift as much weight as he believes he should, and that'll fuck with his manhood. Also, the potential for injury, trying to impress each other, can be ridiculously high.

- FAMILY FUNCTIONS - You're just inviting them to a picnic, but to the other person, you're trying to introduce them to your family WAY too soon, and that'll run someone off quick, fast, and in a hurry. To them, you're moving far too fast into a relationship situation.

- DOUBLE DATE - Unless all four people know each other before the date, this is a bad idea because it puts the odd person at a disadvantage. He/she doesn't have the same relationship or history as the other three people sitting at the table. It's very easy to end up excluding them from the conversation as the others recall or reminisce over something that happened in the immediate or distant past. They can also be phased out of date altogether by the influence of a friend who may not want you together at all. It allows an escape or an unintentional diversion or their attention from the date to their friends.

- GROUP OUTING - For the same basic reasons as the double date, inviting someone out for a group outing restricts the one on one interaction, which is the point of the first date, to begin with. Especially when dealing with members of the group they may not have seen in a while, they'll want to monopolize your date's time, catching up, etc. Every time you try to converse with each other, someone else is walking up, interrupting you. Not to mention, the potential to get the wrong impression of your date, based on the behavior and personality of their friends may screw them over as well.

- SPORTS BAR - How's this any different than a movie? You're only getting half your date's attention; their other half keeps looking past or behind you at one of the 25 television screens, checking the scores or the last touchdown play. Even if you both are into sports, the situation's still the same; you BOTH are partially ignoring each other to watch the game.

- BOWLING/SKATING - From bowling to skating, what if one person has never done it? Do you think it's funny, cute, or endearing to laugh if they suck ass at bowling or keep falling down in the middle of the rink? Think you'll get a second date? What if they fall somewhat hard an injure themselves? Yeah, every time they look at the cast on their broken arm or brace on their knee will remind them of how great a fucking time they had with you! That's why they never called you back; they had SO much fun at the ER!

- COMPETITIVE ACTIVITIES - Some people take competition WAY too far. Why would you take someone paintballing who's never gone before and you play every weekend? Trying to impress your date with your skills will almost certainly backfire; it's about having fun, not showing off, or winning. A lot of people have a hard time remembering that.

- SPORTING EVENTS/CONCERTS - Just like a movie's a bad idea in your mind, how is a basketball/football game or concert any different? You can't talk; it's too loud. Besides, you're there to watch the game of the performance. Any conversation between the 2 of you takes away from the focus of the event in question.

- WEDDING - Just... Hell... NO!!!

- ANYTHING WITH KIDS - This can be tricky; don't just spring your children on your date when you show up. If your children aren't well-behaved, you're sure to make the first date the last date. If you can't get a sitter or they cancel at the last minute, communicate that instead of just bringing you kids along; just like family get-togethers, this is a step to take far too soon. Do you want to keep bringing new people around your children regularly anyway? That puts a fucked up idea of relationships in the head of your children as well.

- HAPPY HOUR - Yeah, they want to see you possibly get shit-faced drunk or vice-versa. They want to babysit you or watch you babysit someone else. Instead of enjoying your night together, getting to know each other, now you have to adjust or cut your night short because you have to take someone home.

- PARTY - Why would you think this is a better idea than a movie? This is a group outing on crack! Between the possibility of a fight breaking out to the ex showing up and ruining your night to the compromise of your safety, not knowing anyone there, but the person you went with. If something were to happen, you couldn't even give an address or the last name of anyone at the party.

     You may not even have had an issue with a movie until you heard someone else say how bad they think it is; in reality, there are so many more places and activities that are just as bad, if using the, "Can't talk during" defense. People get so stuck on just that one thing, and they rn with it as if it were law. Don't be so quick to dismiss the idea without considering how bad YOUR suggestion may be to that other person. The point of the first date should be more about physical and personal chemistry over the conversation, trying to figure out what kind of person they are face to face. Coffee is an awkward position to be in because one of you will always be looking at the clock or for a way out, JUST IN CASE of the meeting doesn't as planned, even if you're having a good time.

     What happens if/when you hit it off and don't want to end it just yet? By the time you've decided on the first date, you should already be at least somewhat interested, not trying to figure it out during the first meeting. Rushing prematurely into the first date without getting to know each other is setting themselves up for a potential one night stand or first date fuck. They could also be giving the impression they're looking to rush into a relationship or don't care about getting to know each other in-depth. Again, the first date should be more about chemistry over conversation; a lot of that should've already taken place.

     Although I don't see anything wrong with some of these ideas for a first meeting or date, quite a few people do; the question you should be asking yourself is why do YOU have an issue with them, not what someone else has told you, read in a book or magazine article. Make up your own mind. Realize when you turn down someone's idea for a meeting or date, you've already begun planting an impression in their head about you and the course of your interaction, whether good or bad, so be cautious but honest about how you bring it across. Don't agree to something you're not going to be into, because believe me; it's going to show if you're not enjoying yourself.

     Before you criticize a movie or suggest coffee, think about it. Get to know the person you're talking to, and you'll have a better idea of who they are so you can make a better-informed suggestion for the first meeting or first date. Really thin about why YOU believe some ideas are better or worse than others, and not just because somebody told you a movie was a shity idea and dinner was a better one. What you may have heard from someone else was or is a good or bad idea that may turn out to be the best first date you've ever had. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Aug 02, 2020


     There's a huge difference between being happy and being satisfied in your sex life. Your partner loves you and enjoys the emotional connection you have when you're physical and sexual, but being physically satisfied is a whole other topic. Communication is the number one defense against getting the two confused, and most people won't talk to each other about how to make their sex life better to where both partners are being satisfied. There are a few reasons why you or your partner won't say anything.

- YOU/THEY WON'T LISTEN ANYWAY - They haven't had complaints in the past, so you shouldn't either. No one else cared enough about you to talk to you about how to make things better. Willful ignorance is enough. Men will take suggestions from his lady as a personal attack on his masculinity, pride, and ego. Even when it's just the two of them talking about it, he can subconsciously hear his friends making fun of him because he can't, "Please his lady" He's worried that if he doesn't believe he's handling his business, someone else will or will be trying to convince her to give them a chance.

     Women won't listen because her man won't listen to her. Why should she do what HE likes if he won't listen to her? She'll get sick of being cheated out of her satisfaction, her orgasms, wanting to try new things, or whatever. Sooner or later, she'll accept things won't change, and she'll either accept this and go on being unsatisfied, avoid having sex whenever she can, or she'll find somebody who can drop the dick down on her like a sledgehammer. She won't leave you for him, which is why the guy she's having sex with will most likely be undesirable to her in some way; education-wise, mentally, emotionally, socially, or economically. She'll also choose someone who may be in a relationship already or unavailable to reduce the chances of any type of attachment on his part.

- YOU/THEY'LL QUESTION THE ORIGIN OF YOUR REQUEST - If/when your partner comes out of the blue and asks for something new, adventurous, and different from their normal routine, one of the first things the other will do is wonder where these new ideas came from; who have they been talking to. They'll start to suspect you're fucking around, thinking about it, or you're talking to or complaining to someone you shouldn't about your sex life. Instead of seeing it as an attempt to improve your sex or give them satisfaction as well, they'll see it as a reason to accuse you of doing something you shouldn't.

- LACK OF INTEREST - If it goes on long enough, one or both of you will get bored with the sex you have and won't put into improving, so you'll just stop having sex altogether. Here and there; special occasions, boredom and there's nothing on television. The sensuality and intimacy have more than fizzled out, and the complacency has filled the void that was once your passion for each other.

- SELFISHNESS - They could care less if you get off, as long as they do. Men are more guilty of this reason, but women are just as faulty. They know you're not getting yours, and they don't care, as long as they're getting what they want. The man knows he does not satisfy his lady, and he doesn't care, as long as he's getting his. A woman will put her man's pride on trial by telling him he has to perform certain acts to please her.

- CONTROL - You both want to control what goes on in the bedroom, which probably means you're trying to control what goes on in the relationship, and it spilled into the bedroom. She doesn't want to give up her power or individuality; she thinks he's trying to make her look slutty in the eyes of others. How she looks to strangers means more to her than satisfying his cravings.

     He's swimming in masculinity; he's never had any complaints before, so she shouldn't have any either. He'll take his suggestions as a bid for power in the bedroom, and it's only a matter of time until she tries to extend that outside the bedroom. He won't give her control because he'll feel like his manhood is compromised. His and her pride and self-preservation will be challenged as they go back and forth, trying to control the bedroom.

- LACK OF EXPERIENCE - One may be far more experienced than the other, and that will cause the other person to feel like they're not good enough. They know they don't satisfy their partner, and since there's no communication, they don't know how to get in sync or back on track. Frustration will eventually take over, and surrender will most likely be the end result, whether just giving up with having sex altogether or accepting what's offered and dealing with it. The problem is when dealing with it, there may come a time where the more experience of the duo may look for satisfaction outside of the relationship.

- FEAR OF ATTACKING THEIR SELF- ESTEEM - Couples tend to take criticism personally, even if constructive and delivered with the softest and genuine intentions. They won't see it as a suggestion of improvement; they'll see it as a personal attack. Not wanting to shit on their partner's self-esteem, they won't say anything.

- NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM - There's very few things that will fuck someone's head up faster or harder than not being able to perform sexually. When your partner asks for something that will satisfy them, and you're unable to deliver, you'll melt like ice cream on a hot summer day. It's easier not even to try and believe you'll be able to deliver than to risk leaving your partner bent like a pretzel both physically and emotionally, as well as unsatisfied. With men, it'll only take one time to try and fail before he gives up on any idea of improvement and go right back to the same unsatisfactory sex, he's been giving all this time. Women will try, fail, and try something else.

- NERVOUS/UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU WANT - You may not even know what you're missing out on because you never had it before, but you know there's something missing; you know your sexual relationship's going down the drain, and you know you need to do something to revive it, or you're afraid your partner will start searching for someone who can meet their needs. One or both of you have been raised to think anything other than traditional sex is something to be ashamed of, so you'll stick to what you think, and feel is appropriate, and you'll just have to deal with what you’re doing and hope it heals itself. It won't.

     You can be happy in your relationship and utterly unsatisfied with your sex. You can be satisfied with your sensuality and intimacy, but your sex is fucking boring, and you'd rather just lie there until they're done or avoid the whole act altogether. The shitty part is when your partner's so blind they don't even notice. You're happy and satisfied with your sex, and that's what important; to you. There's nothing wrong with being happy; happiness isn't an insult. Not being satisfied isn't an insult either, if you're willing to listen to your partner when they try to communicate their lack of satisfaction.

     We have to be realistic; as we get older, we know we're not going to completely satisfy each other on a physical or orgasmic level every time; that's not the subject of this story. When you get to point to where one or neither of your needs are being met, there's something wrong, and it needs to be addressed and resolved as quickly but as delicately as possible. Having a healthy and utterly open line of communication is the primary weapon in not only this situation but almost every situation that can and will arise in a relationship. Not taking things personally or allowing your pride or self-preservation to get into the way of the improvement of your relationship is the second step. Just because someone brings something to you that may better your lives together doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong; it could be a suggestion to make things better and more enjoyable for the both of you.

     Being happy is one thing; you can be pleased with each other, and sex between you two is an emotional experience you enjoy, but you're just not getting off physically. No one wants to know they do not satisfy the person they're with, but it does happen, especially if and when you've been together for a long enough time. Between pride and fear, there are so many reasons sexual satisfaction will fizzle out.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 26, 2020


     No one enjoys being made the fool. People don't go into relationships, hoping to get fucked over, but it does happen; it's a fact of life. While some have been lucky enough to not have had to experience being the victim of infidelity while others can't seem to avoid it, no matter what they do. The dark truth is most of the time, there's nothing that can be done to prevent it.

    That being said, trying to investigate every little inconsistency or weird inkling is a waste of time. Trying to catch someone doing dirty shit or preventing nasty shit from happening is destructive and unproductive; if it's going to happen, it'll happen, and all the control and preventative measures you employ won't stop it.

     All the accusations and investigating. Text-snooping, phone-checking, and stalking their email. You'll look like a fucking psycho, contacting everyone on their social media page, trying to figure out who they are and if they're doing anything with them. Keeping tabs on your partner is ridiculous and an unnecessary strain on your relationship. There's also a risk to your physical health and well-being. Trying to prove someone's guilt or prevent being cheated on can lead to both emotional and physical problems. Stress-related issues. High blood pressure. Ulcers. Migraines. Digestive problems. Eating disorders. Depression; even suicidal thoughts can manifest themselves in the most extreme cases. Is it REALLY worth it? For something, you can't prevent it. You can't control what someone else does; if they're going to fuck up, they're going to fuck up. Are you genuinely willing to put yourself through some shit, possibly for something that may not even be happening?

     There's some truth to the belief that if there's a feeling, there has to be a valid reason, but what about those people who are actually innocent? What's even worse is when you're wrong, and you find out you're wrong. How do you rectify all the bullshit you just put someone through only to find out they're just as faithful as you've been? What can you do to make things better? If you're right about your suspicions, the relationship's over. If you're wrong, you run the same risk, all for something you couldn't manage, even if you wanted to. Once the lines of trust and doubt have been crossed, the journey back will be a difficult one. You are trying to reconcile from infidelity or redeem yourself from false accusations.

     No matter how hard you try, you're not going to keep someone from fucking you over, if they intend to do so. If they truly want to step out on the relationship, it's going to happen, with or without your permission or how hard you try to prevent it. Being a strong-minded, confident person will allow for an easier recovery when things do go wrong. The ability to heal from whatever happened should be more of a focus than the investigation.

     People will go so far as to enlist the help of others to catch their partner doing dirty shit. Men and women will convince their friends to make a move on their partner; the drawback is when they end up choosing the absolute wrong person for assistance. That shit will definitely end up backfiring on you. The mission of your so-called "Spy" was just to deliver an innuendo or a few flirtatious invitations, not knowing their goal was to break you up for their benefit. They'll take it too far, go out on the proposed date, fuck your partner, then claim they did it for you. Where YOU become the dumbass is when you ignore the fact they went out and fucked your partner because you're so focused on proving you were right all along.

     While you're so busy, trying to catch your partner doing dirty shit, you may miss out on some shit that's going on right in front of your face. One of your friends is trying to get what you have. You're so wrapped up in your investigation that one person you're confiding in could be feeding you bullshit or putting themselves in a position to become their next option when your psychosis has gotten the better of you, and your present relationship ends. Then you're stuck wondering what the fuck happened when all along, nothing was going on, and you fucked up the best relationship you ever had, trying to play inspector. The fact of the matter is that if they WERE doing you wrong, good riddance; if they weren't, you sent them to the arms of the same person who was trying to drive a wedge between you in the first place.

     If it's going to happen, it'll happen, no matter what you do. If you're not ready to let things run their course without being suspicious 24/7, maybe you're not prepared to be in any relationship. Maybe you're hurting from something that happened between you and your partner you thought you could get past; perhaps you're still hurting from a past relationship. In any case, make sure you've healed from your past before bringing the unnecessary baggage from your past to your present; rest assured, it'll fuck up your future.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 19 2020


     It's over, and you both know it, but you can't make the break; finances, kids, shared expenses, obligation, fear, or comfort. To everyone else, you're the perfect couple; you don't fight, argue, or react to negativity or drama. That's because you don't care; there are no accusations, suspicions, or interrogations. You do you, and they do the same. As long as the bills get paid, it's all good. Everyone's jealous of what seems like a flawless match.

     Why can't you make the break? Perhaps it's the thrill of having the best of both worlds; she gets to maintain her relationship with you and take her time finding and meeting your replacement. She can cultivate a relationship with someone else without rushing in or jumping out of one right into another. He gets to go out, meet other women and fuck around, but can still come home to fuck if he strikes out. They both know the other's halfway out the door, and it doesn't phase or bother either of you because she knows he's meeting, dating, and fucking other women. He knows she's seeing someone, somebody's already showing interest in her, or she has someone in mind. They have an unspoken agreement not to bring those people around their kids or to the home they share.

     Neither of you can really afford to move out or live on your own. You'd rather live in a house together than an apartment by yourself. You feel the kids need to have both parents under the same roof. Whatever the reason or reasons are, you're roommates who fuck; in-house FWB. It makes sense to the two of you, but don't seem to understand why others have an issue with it, or why they won't date you. The thought of living with the person you're halfway in a relationship with doesn't cross your mind at all.

     On the outside, you act like things are great, but you know they're not. You both put on a happy face when you leave the house. Your relationship is fun, laughter, and the envy of those you know. You're the perfect match for each other at your respected workplace functions. You're all about respect and courtesy. What they don't see is what happens behind closed doors; you barely speak, and you're always off, doing your own things.

     You're playing house, no different than when you were young children. You act like a couple, but you know that shit isn't real. There are a mommy, daddy, and kids. The difference now is the play kitchen's real, your place is real, the kids are real, and when you're bored and tired of playing, the game's over.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jul 5, 2020


     Addiction to porn is something most couples go through at some point in their relationship. Where one person would rather sit in front of a screen and fantasize about being with someone or somewhere else, having some type of sex they're not getting at home, for whatever reason. Without getting into the reasons why someone would choose the world of make-believe over a flesh-and-blood partner, society views porn as something vile and revolting; something to be ashamed of. I don't agree. True, it can easily get out of hand and become addictive; but so can video games, sports, soap operas, reality television, social media, the list goes on. Anything in moderation can be both entertaining and harmless; keeping it in moderation is what people seem to have issues with.

     What happens when you can't control what you eat? How much you eat? Overindulgence in everything from food to cellphone usage can have addicting effects on people. While some can't even leave the house for 15 minutes without their cell phone. To those who can't even eat a damn pastry, without snapping a picture of a fucking cupcake and uploading to social media. Too much of anything has the potential to be harmful in one way or another. Porn is no exception.

     That being said, when speaking inside the realm of moderation, porn could and does have positive effects, depending on how you look at it.

Porn satisfies a desire for fantasy. Things you may not have the courage to bring to your partner. You may be single and come across something you never thought about; an attraction to a specific sized man or woman. A previously unrealized interracial or multi-ethnic attraction. Something unconventional that allows you to step out of the normal for a while and live through someone else's experiences. If you're in a relationship, porn can open you both up to things you may not have even thought about; Costumes, role-playing, foreplay, etc. Maybe there are things you've wanted to try with each other, but felt weird about having those thoughts or desires. Watching porn together brings you to the conclusion that your ideas aren't that far-fetched; that it's normal and done by more couples than you thought. What you considered, "Freaky" or, "Nasty" is practiced relatively regularly, just not in your normal, "Cookie-cutter" social circle.

     Porn can be used as entertainment; nothing more. It's cool to watch. It's cheaper than the strip club. Porn can be a life-saver when you're in a dating or sexual slump. Research. Being single, porn can teach even the oldest dog a new trick or two. It could be just what you need to avoid the whispers of inadequacy from potential future partners. It can allow a person the ability to discover things about themselves, their own bodies, or desires they may not have given much thought to. The potential for self-discovery is almost limitless. As a couple, porn can rejuvenate your sex life. When both parties are willing to accept new ideas into their dynamic, that doesn't always necessarily mean threesomes or multiple partners, which is where most men seem to hit the ground running towards like a kid on Christmas morning. Foreplay; porn can be a fantastic precursor to sex. We all know how quick that first release can come when you're excited, and getting that first one out of the way will make intercourse last much longer.

     Porn allows for the exploration of yourself and your partner, learning what turns THEM on and vice-versa. New positions, fantasies, fetishes, and techniques. Porn can initiate or unlock a primal, sexual side in yourself or your partner that could blow your fucking mind. The possibility of opening Pandora's box. Going from the same 2-3 positions at the same time, the same way, on the same day? Nowadays, she can't even walk past him without dropping to her knees or climbing on top of him. That ball game just doesn't have the same importance as it did before; he's too busy trying to get his clothes off and into the shower with you as fast as he can.

     Porn allows you the freedom of variety without cheating; as long as you keep your fantasies in your head, your pants zipped up, and your dress/skirt pulled down. Porn is safe sex; you can't get an STD/STI from your hand or fingers. It's less dangerous than a one-night stand or a first-date fuck. You can enjoy yourself and get yourself off safely in your own home and behind locked doors, instead of taking the risk of going to someone else's place, not knowing what the fuck you may be walking into.

     Porn is sex without judgment, exploration, and experience without embarrassment or humiliation. Porn is a safe alternative over risk. In the right light, porn can be a hell of a teacher when you need a tutor to help you navigate the class to a higher, more exciting world of sexual expression between you and your partner. Like so many other things, moderation is paramount. It knows when you're spending more time fantasizing instead of implementing with your partner. If you can't get excited or last longer than 5 minutes with a real-live person, but can go all night watching porn, you need help, just like over-eating, over-training, etc. Whatever your vice is, good or bad, when you go overboard, no one wins. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 28, 2020


     You're bragging about how much sex you're getting, but it's all quantity, not quality. Ladies, you aren't pulling dick, you're getting fucked. Men, you aren't pulling pussy, you're fucking whatever you can stick your dick into; and yes, there IS a difference.

     Are you truly the ladies man or player you think you are? Ladies, are these guys giving you money and feeding your ego because you deserve it, or because they know when they go out with you, they're going to get some pussy? Are you getting so much pussy because your, "Game" is that smooth, or are you going for pussy that hasn't been fucked in so long, it has tumbleweeds and spider webbing in front of it? Or maybe you're fucking pussy that fucks everyone it comes across. Are you going for women who's just happy someone's taking an interest in them, even though they know what you're all about?

     You're bragging about getting dick that would fuck a shaved gopher if it had a big enough ass. You're proud to tell your buddies how you fucked three women over the weekend. You're either proud or confused about your low standards. A woman will out a good, decent man's value on the same scale as those who don't have a pot to piss in or a place to throw it out. You're flying so low to the ground because it's safer in case you run into resistance, or you don't have the skills to master flying as high as you truly want to. Maybe it's because you're a single-propeller WWI biplane and you're trying to dogfight against a radar-resistant, next-generation, cloak-capable, heavily armed warbird of destruction.

     Are you pulling pussy, or are you fucking what's easy and available? Are you working hard and earning your pussy paycheck, or are you content with or happily living off the government? Are you picking the good berries from the tree or the ones that are already on the ground? Are you truly pulling and working that dick you're bragging about, or are you just giving up the pussy and accepting money and gifts? Whether you realize it or not, when you go into work the next Monday, talking about how all these men you have been doing things for you because they like you, you're telling them you're being paid to fuck.

     You claim to have the gift to pull all this pussy or all these men at your feet, but what type of pussy or dick are you REALLY attracting? Are you just bragging about fucking or your ability to find pussy? Are you attracting these men, or are they just coming you because they know they get to fuck? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy? You're bragging about all this pussy you getting high-caliber, quality pussy, or, "Junk ass"? Are you stepping into the ring with well-trained, equally matched opponents, or someone who just started taking cardio kickboxing for the first time? You're proudly claiming dick that no one else wants has already had or has been turned down by every woman you're bragging to. You're bragging about pussy everyone else has fucked. You're not pulling pussy; you're fucking outcasts and pussy that'll open up for the 2 for $25 meal special at the local chain restaurant and think she's living the high life.

     Stop fucking and make them wait a month; hell, make them wait three dates see how many of them ask you out a second or third time. Get a reputation that you're no longer a first date fuck and see how quickly you well dries up; how limited your choices become. Expect and demand more time and effort into getting in your pants, and all that dick you're bragging about pulling will dry up like a fucking desert. Your popularity comes from your pussy, your ego from your willingness and ability to suck dick on the first night. Your reputation for being a ladies man and your confidence comes from scraping the bottom of the barrel, wiping the outer rim and bottom of the bowl with your biscuit, trying to get the last bit of sauce. You're trying to lick the cake batter bowl!

     If you're giving up the pussy, give up on the thought of meeting someone special, and of good quality, unless you go looking somewhere you've never been before; your reputation at your regular social or professional has been decimated. Is quality even a goal for you? Or are you happy putting in a little as possible for the scrap sex you get? You're giving out raggedy dick like last year's Halloween candy to fat kids who give a fuck, as long as it's candy. In her mind, she's working game on him because she has all these other men coming at her, but her pussy is her symbol of status, her centerpiece, her personality. You think you're playing him because you're pulling all this dick. Not only are you playing yourself, but you're also getting fucked in the process by guys who wouldn't even look your way if you weren't giving up the pussy.

     They don't want to go out with you or be seen in public with you, but they know they HAVE to get the pussy. You think you're pulling pussy, but you're fucking women who are just grateful to have a dick! Don't act like your something to be revered. You probably did take her out and, at some point, kissed her without the thought of how many dicks she's sucked and swallowed just last week alone! You're hopping on top and riding unprotected dick like a cowgirl, and he could have mad cow disease on his shit!

     You're not pulling dick; you're giving up the ass and getting fucked. You're trying to make your friends and co-workers jealous with stories about getting fuck by raggedy dick. They may act interested and envious of you to your face, but they're laughing at you behind your back; if you only knew how many other women he's fucking or fucked. If you only knew how many of them had turned his nasty ass down until he found, you. You're looking for celebratory support and accolades for fucking nasty, stank, drunk pussy they've already fucked or are STILL fucking, along with everyone else in the office or at the club. Are you truly pulling pussy or fucking easy pussy? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy?


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 14, 2020


      You did or said something fucked up and got caught or called out on it. Instead of owning up to it, you offer what you think is an apology by saying, "I'm sorry you took it that way" or, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

      You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them, plain and simple. You were offensive or condescending, and they let you know, you just weren't ready for it. Your bullshit, a half-ass apology isn't even an apology; it's as an accusation of their oversensitivity.

     Why are you REALLY saying you're sorry? Because of what you did or said, or is it to differ the situation and avoid escalation? Are you apologizing for HOW you said whatever you said that pissed the other person off? Most likely, you're saying you're sorry for thinking the other person was too dumb to realize what you did or said was so fucked up. "Sorry, I hurt your feelings," is nothing more than saying, "Great! Now I have to wipe, powder, and coddle your frail-minded, fetal ass through this until you get over it".

     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" isn't an apology, it's a deflection. It shifts the spotlight from the offender and places the blame and focus on the offended. To them, it's YOUR fault you're so fucking sensitive you got butthurt and sand in your asshole; they're sorry they pushed your baby bitch button. Their apology is them telling you you're fucking soft and need to harden your ass up. Just because someone brought something to you doesn't mean their feelings got hurt; you pissed them off. In their mind, you didn't realize what you did or said was fucked up; as a friend, they brought it to your attention, and you dismissed them. Your half-ass apology compounded the situation.

     "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" is saying you're a fucking crybaby, and now they have to say they're sorry for making you show it. It's an underestimation of your intelligence and ability to take something and let it roll off your back. They're saying sorry for assuming you were too simple-minded to decipher whatever they said or did as shitty, and it was; just plain shitty. Then they fed you bullshit on top of it because you called them out on it, and now they have to make amends for it. The apology isn't meant for the person who was offended; it's to make the offender feel as if they realized their error and learned from it. It's all about clearing their conscience. Women say it to make a man feel like shit for being bothered by something, basically putting his manhood on the cutting room floor. Men say it more to make her feel oversensitive.

     You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them. You may not realize or want to admit it, but that's what you did. You can't control how someone takes what you did or said, so don't argue; don't defend and don't make excuses. If you're going to say you're sorry, do it for what you did or said, not how they took it. Don't dismiss or trivialize how someone feels when they bring something to you that offended them. Don't assume you hurt their feelings and don't accuse them of being too sensitive. You fucked up and said something stupid or offensive, and instead of owning up to it, tried to shift your stupid, shitty comment into an accusation. You assume someone's feelings are hurt because it's the first thing that came to your mind when you realized the other person caught on to what you did or said. 


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Jun 7, 2020


     When talking about love, you have to be careful how you use it; "I love you" isn't something to play around with or take lightly, and it definitely isn't something to just throw out when you don't mean it. Love isn't the word to be thrown around or to be said and left open for translation. From the love of self, love for people in general, friends & family, to romantic and even maniacal love, clarity is paramount when telling someone you love them. You may be talking about having a love for someone, but they've translated it into romantic love, only to have the truth come back and bite them in the ass later because you weren't clear with your words.

     It's the responsibility of both people to seek pure clarity when talking about love. If both are saying it, they BOTH need to be perfectly transparent about the feelings and sentiment they're trying to relay. Having a love for someone isn't the same as being in love with them. Loving someone isn't the same as being in love with someone. Men, you aren't stupid or ignorant; you know your lady. When you use the word "Love," you know EXACTLY how she is going to take it unless you spell it out and define what you mean without beating around the bush or trying to remain ambiguous about the type of love you're referring to. If you allow a woman to believe you're in love with her, knowing that's not where you are, then you're an asshole, plain and simple. You know they have or will relate it to romantic love. Trying to claim you didn't mean it the way she took it is fucked up when/if she calls you out on it.

     After being caught cheating, talking to, or spending time with someone else after using the word love, just to turn around and blame them for how he/she misunderstood what type of love you meant makes you an asshole. You purposely avoided being clear about your feelings beforehand because you wanted and needed a bullshit excuse for when you got caught doing dirty shit. You'll make sure she understands what type of love you REALLY meant when she catches you doing some dirty shit.

     Women don't normally use the word, "Love" unless they actually mean it. If they're not there yet, they'll tell you. They'll define their love if it's any type, other than romantic without hesitation. Even saying the words are important to a woman and they're cautious as caring for a newborn child when it comes to stating feelings of love, whether to family, friends, or a partner. Women are more inclined to feel and admit her love sooner than a man to everyone, except that man; she'll wait on him to say it first to avoid putting herself out in the open for fear of rejection. She'll tell her co-workers, friends, family, etc. On the other hand, men will NOT admit his love to anyone, EXCEPT, the woman he means it to, not even his best friends. He'll assume they just know.

     So, why do people say, "I love you" when they really don't? Out of obligation. They've been in their relationship for so long, they feel it's the right thing to say, or they believe if they don't say it, the other person will end the relationship. Obligation to keep the relationship together and each other happy. Some ridiculous, unrealistic, and non-existent timeline will convince them it's about time they said it, and sooner or later, they eventually mean it anyway.

     People will say, "I love you" for sex, pure and simple. Especially men, they know their woman's holding back a level of sexual expression and desires he wants her to give him, but she's reserving that side of herself for the man she's in love with and loves her too. He'll want 100% of what she has to offer in the bedroom, and he knows to tell her he loves her is the key to that treasure chest of freak nasty shit he wants her to do.

     The response is another reason people will say, "I love you." Their partner said it, so it's just natural for them to say it in response. It's second nature for them to say it back, without even thinking about it.

     Saying, "I love you" immediately puts an end to any conversation about deeper feelings or emotions. A man knows that's what she wants to hear when she's asking about the direction the relationship is heading. What his intentions are, or any thoughts about his feelings about her or the relationship. He doesn't want to get into it right then or at all. He wants to get back to the game or the computer. Hell, he wants to get back to mowing the lawn if it'll get him away from the conversation.

     People will say, "I love you" because it benefits them in some way. The person they're saying it to is proving them with something, whether it be financial, physical, emotional, or materialistic. They know saying those three words put them in a position to continue receiving whatever they are getting from the recipient. The giver may genuinely love the receiver, but it's only one-sided. The love they claim to have is only stated to ensure a place to stay, a car to drive, or money in their pocket.

     Whatever the situation, any reason other than true love is a shitty reason to tell someone you love them, even if it's to save the other person from feeling vulnerable or foolish, honesty is the best policy. When you're using the word, "Love," make sure the intended person knows precisely what type of love you're talking about if it's not romantic love. Don't use Love ambiguously; don't leave it open for interpretation because you want to avoid talking about your actual feelings. Sex is the absolute most fucked up reason to tell someone you love them. Remember, at some point, you've been on the receiving end of the same situation, or you may be in it as you read this. Love is a feeling, a reason to celebrate, appreciate and enjoy everything that comes with it. Don't be an asshole and turn it into something you pull from your toolbox when you need to fix or adjust a situation to fit your needs.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 31, 2020


     Even the most faithful men and women will most likely end up with a side-piece at one time or another, but not in the way you might think. There may be a friend or relative, male or female your partner doesn't really like you hanging out with because of their behavior or reputation. They don't like you being around each other, and they'll tell you they have an issue with you hanging out with them because of the negative influence they expose you to. Wanting to avoid an argument or to keep them from causing a bigger issue than what it could or should be, you tell them you won't hang out with them anymore.

     You know that's a lie; you told them that to get them off your back; to end the conversation as quickly as possible. You told them that to make them happy and avoid the bullshit. You've been friends through a lot of shit over the years, and just because your present partner doesn't like them, you're not going to abandon the friendship. You just want to avoid ripples in the relationship, so you decide the best route to go is to cheat on your partner with your best friend.

     She has that one friend who's the life of the party. You can bet she's the type of girl who'll jump up on the bar and flash the entire room for drinks. She has a man, but as long as she doesn't hook up with them, anything else goes. Your man doesn't like you hanging out with her because she's always trying to get you to be more, "Independent," not to let your man, "Tell you what to do." She tries to talk you into doing the same shit she does, dancing with other men. You've been friends since high school, and you'll tell your man you won't hang out with her anymore after the last time she got drunk, hooked up with some guy, and ended up on your couch. That's a lie; you're cheating on your man with YOUR best friend.

     You may not see this as cheating, but look at the truth behind it; you lied to your partner about not seeing someone, or you told them you wouldn't spend time with them, knowing you would. You left the house, knowing you were going to see them, and you have no intention of telling your partner you were around them. You went to a movie, dinner, the bar/club, wherever. You know if your partner found out, they'd be pissed because you deceived them. You know if you got caught, you'd have to come up some of the same bullshit excuses you'd come up with if you got caught cheating with someone of the opposite sex; ESPECIALLY if the friend is of the opposite sex. All the components of cheating on your partner are there.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 10, 2020


     It's your favorite purse. That watch goes with everything you wear. It's the warmest, most comfortable sweatshirt for a lazy day of curling up and watching movies on a lazy weekend during the winter. It's your favorite dress, shirt, or suit.

     The problem is that watch was a gift from your ex-girlfriend. Those earrings were from your former fiancee. The sweatshirt was your ex-boyfriend from his college years. The question is, should you still have it? Should you still be wearing it? Even worse, do you think your present partner wants to see you in that shit? If you're single, who cares? If your new partner doesn't care, it's all good. But what if they have an issue with it? What if they don't know where it came from? Should you wait for them to ask, or should you come clean and admit it upfront? Would or could you part with it if they told you they felt insulted and disrespected that you thought they'd be okay with it?

     If the relationship ended negatively, why would you want any reminders of such a fucked up situation? If it was amicable, don't you think you may be sending a signal that you might not be completely over your attachment to that other person? You may not see anything wrong with it, but even gifts from your ex-partner's kids may cause a rift in your present relationship. Is it disrespectful to not only hold on to certain items after a breakup? Is it fucked up for your new partner to have an issue with it?

     You flaunt it around proudly, even though it's one of your favorite items, and you expect your partner to accept and get over it? Some like a television, laptop, furniture, or something of that nature is one thing; something you purchased together may fall into that category as well. There are certain things that hold a value of convenience and a value of sentiment. The items of sentiment are those that are in question. An item of clothing, jewelry, pictures, or other personal memorabilia should be common sense. Why the fuck would you think your new partner wants to have sex with you on the silk sheets your ex gave you on your anniversary? The lingerie she bought to turn another man on?

     Experiences are just going to have to be dealt with. You can't get bothered if your partner's ex took them on their first cruise, and they want to do it again with you. It was their first and only experience at an amusement park, and they want to share it with you. Sexual positions and/or experiences are absolutely off the table of being exclusive to a single relationship; that's shit you're just going to have to just deal with, especially in your older/more mature years. You cant get caught up wondering how many times tor how many people they've done something particularly enjoyable for the both of you.

     Any rationalization or defense of keeping something that came from an ex is a delicate situation with explosive properties. One one hand, if you own up to it upfront, you run the risk of your partner having issues with it; on the other, you risk an even bigger storm of shit from your partner if they found out down the line. Regardless of the answer and if you agree or not, open communication is the first step, depending on what it is, cop to it, and allow them to tell you how they feel about it. Should these things be returned? Boxed up" Burned? Pawned for cash? Are you that selfish and self-centered, or do you really feel there's nothing wrong with holding on to items given to you from a previous relationship?

     It doesn't matter if it's your favorite whatever it is; if it came from your ex, you have to willing and ready to part with it, upon request. You'll give the impression you're still holding on to that relationship, or some part of it. Even an old picture of an ex and their kids or family may hold some sentimental value to you, but don't bring that shit out to show your, new partner, thinking your funny story behind the photo will be as amusing to them as it was to you and your ex at the time it happened. Your memories from your previous relationships are really of no interest to your present partner. They don't care about that trip you took, the funny thing that happened at their parent's anniversary dinner, the drawings his/her kids gave you while you were together. Toss it or keep that shit to yourself.


     Should you burn that sweatshirt? That's up to you, but to wear it when you're cuddled on the couch or snuggled with your man makes you an asshole. You don't have to wear the ring your ex gave you on your very first Valentine's Day when you're out to dinner on Valentine's Day with your new partner. Don't even think about wearing the jersey your ex-girlfriend bought when the two of you went to your first football game together; that's just as shitty. Yeah, it's comfy; you've had it forever. Your last ex had no problems with it. These are not reasons to excuse, rationalize, or defend you against how your present partner should feel about it. How your friends think your partner should feel is none of their concern to the subject. Holding on to something from a previous relationship is a gamble; you take your chances with each new relationship that just may be the one that doesn't want to imagine or see you wearing or displaying something your ex gave you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


May 3, 2020


     True, you get to keep the peace in the home, or in your relationship, but at what cost? Your thoughts and opinions have been voiced, heard, and acknowledged many times over. What if there was something that was bothering you, but you can't or won't talk about it, not because you're afraid of physical or mental abuse, not because you thought you'd be punished, or not taken seriously? Some people just don't speak their minds because they don't want to cause waves or ripples in the water; they don't want to miss out on an opportunity, or they just don't want to hear the other person's fucking mouth about it.

SCENARIO 1. Marcus and Trina are in the checkout line at the store, paying for their groceries. Being an interracial couple, they know certain people have issues with them being together, and they have absolutely no intention of letting those individuals bother them in the least bit. It wasn't a shock or surprise to them to hear a woman standing behind them talking shit about them being together. What's sets this situation apart is that this woman isn't on the phone talking shit, she's not with her girlfriend talking shit, she's with her MAN talking shit! On and on she goes, calling their relationship an abomination; how white women are, "Stealing" good black men, how white women are doormats, or the only reason they're together is that she sucks his dick or takes it in the ass.

     People are entitled to their own opinion, the question is, why does this concern her in the least bit? A better question is, why the fuck does she think her man wants to hear her bitch about another man and what he's doing? The ultimate question would be why that man doesn't that man stand up for himself and ask her who the fuck cares? Why isn't he telling her to shut the fuck up? Because he's afraid he'll piss her off and he doesn't want to hear her mouth at him. In his mind, he knows she's going to bitch about something; as long as it's not towards him, he'd rather sit there with his mouth shut.

SCENARIO 2. Beth is an absolute prize. She's smart, funny, and down-to-earth. She doesn't mind paying for her half of the date; hell, she has no problem asking a man out. Along with the stereotypical "Girl stuff," she also likes sports, action movies, even video games. Everyone likes Beth. Her male friends and/coworkers will tell you how cool she is, and she a wide variety of interests and hobbies. On paper, she's the perfect catch for ANY man. So, why's she still single? At 5'7" and 170 pounds, not many men see past her weight when it comes to being attracted to her. In walks Jimmy, a good-looking guy who catches the interest and attention of his fair share of women, and he knows it. Whether in the office or at the bar, Jimmy's known for having short-term relationships or going after women who are more likely to have sex with him after just a date or two. Jimmy's not one to put in too much effort into someone who isn't giving it up.

     Although Beth knows about Jimmy's alleged reputation, you'd ask yourself, why the hell would she still go out with him, knowing all he wants to do is fuck, especially when she doesn't even really want to on the first date? Not only will she put her all into the experience, giving him everything he could ever ask for sexually, hoping he'll be persuaded to take an interest in her. Why won't she speak up and tell him she's not ready? Because she knows if she does, that'll be the last time she hears from him.

It's not to say men will always keep things to themselves in order to keep the peace with his lady. He won't turn that hot girl at the club away, even though he despises smokers, and she smells like a fucking chimney. A woman will reluctantly swallow for a man she just met, or even HER man, even though she really hates doing it. A woman who knows her man's temper when he's angry or agitated won't ask him to calm down because she knows how he is and doesn't want that anger directed to her. 

     A man won't speak his mind if he's dancing with a woman, and she keeps biting his ears really hard or pinching the fuck out of his nipples. He's so worried about upsetting her and running off potential pussy; he'll just take it and laugh it off. A woman will give a man she has absolutely no attraction or chemistry with her phone number, in order to avoid having to admit she's not interested or avoid being asked to explain why she isn't, only to have to deal with him the next time she sees him at the club. A guy will have sex with a woman he thinks is ugly as fuck; as long as he's getting pussy and his friends don't find out.

     People won't speak their minds because they're afraid of losing their friends who may be alcoholics or pot smokers. They don't want to be labeled a bitch or an asshole. They want to avoid being labeled a troublemaker or whistleblower at work. They don't want to be known as someone who can't be a team player when needed fear of missing out on advancement or other opportunities. People hate being wrong. Some are just more comfortable being sheep than shepherds. People don't speak up because of their need and desire to fit in; the price of alienation or exclusion is one they're not interested in paying. You care more about other's feelings and how they think then your own.

     There's always the possibility of physical violence when speaking up. You may be in a relationship where your partner has been known to take things to a physical level. Not just men, but women also. They view you're speaking up as both defiance and a physical challenge. Men will see this as a play for control of the relationship he must defend. Women will interpret her man's voice as an attack on her independence, which she'll defend like a battle flag.

     Sinister reasoning is another reason people won't speak up. Tim knows for a fact John's not reassembling the carburetor correctly, but he won't say anything to him, because he doesn't like John and will do anything, he can to make him look bad. Tina knows the time of the new client presentation was changed from 10 in the morning to 9, but won't tell Ann until 8:30, because they're both up for the same promotion and she knows Ann's more qualified, so she'll do anything to make her look bad in front of the big bosses. Jason doesn't like his neighbor, Mark, so when Jason sees him trying to use a chainsaw to cut down a tree in his yard and he's not wearing safety equipment. Jason won't speak up, because he hates Mark so much, he wants to see him get hurt.


     You don't speak up because you don't want to upset anyone or make them feel stupid, even if they're wrong. If they believe they're right, they'll continue to do the wrong thing, and eventually, someone WILL correct them. What if they're doing something unsafe? The last thing you want to do is direct your partner's anger and frustration at an unrelated situation to you, so you keep your mouth shut and allow them to disrespect you. Keeping the peace is one thing; silencing yourself to keep others from disliking you is something totally different altogether. You should never sacrifice your voice, just to appease others or to keep from losing someone, even is that someone is important to you.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 26, 2020


     For far too long, women have allowed other women, friends, family, and even strangers to influence how they receive attention and physical affection from her man or men they find themselves attracted to. Women have allowed men to dictate what they'll give and what they expect in return on THEIR terms. Not just her friends or family, but society as a whole will put her morals, self-respect, and/or reputation on trial if she gives into her sensual and intimate inner self or desires and fantasies.

     Are there REALLY women out here who get dressed for a romantic night out with her man, hoping he won't make her feel like the sexiest, most desired woman in the room? Women have each other brainwashed into thinking her man's disrespecting her when/if he wants her hands in his pants or his inside her dress or down her blouse. PDA, making out, or however the physical activity may take form, women will attack and criticize a man's respect for his lady if he interacts with her in the way they don't approve of. They'll talk shit about her if they don't know the woman; if they do, they'll try to convince her that man's degrading her or making her look like a slut. So what? Why wouldn't a woman want to do what her man likes or vice-versa? Not to imply anyone should do anything they don't want to do, based on their own personal convictions, but not wanting to look bad on the eyes of someone else should never trump your partner's needs.

     On the subject of needs, communication is key when it comes to making sure each other's needs are being met. Too many times, people are either turned off or offended by the discussion of physical and sexual needs. Conversations about sensual or intimate expectations are met with negativity. Women will take offense to it, thinking it's too soon to be talking about it, and men won't bring it up wanting to avoid running a woman off. It could also be that both of them may not even know what their needs are, or are afraid of talking about it, not wanting to give the other person the wrong impression. She doesn’t want him to think she's a whore who goes around rubbing her ass up on every guy, and he doesn't want her to think sex is the primary thing on his mind.

     How two people behave towards each other is their business, that's their relationship and how they choose to show their attraction to each other. If they both crave and enjoy it, it's not yours or anyone else's place to criticize or question that; it's no one's place to imply any negative thoughts about their respect for themselves or each other. Not to say a couple should be making out and groping each other in a family restaurant, in the middle of the grocery store, or anywhere children would be; being appropriate in the right environment IS important. Most people who see this behavior as negative are either jealous because they aren't getting it. They're unaware of how it feels because they've never had it. They've had someone else tell them it's wrong, dirty, or even sinful to act on or desire it. People see it as negative because they're secretly craving it themselves, but can't get it from their partner, or are afraid of judgment in the eyes of their family or social circle. Fear of being labeled a "Freak."

     Women have issues with being open about their need for more intense sensual and sexual affirmation because they were taught to believe a woman should behave with more dignity and self-respect. Sucking her man's dick was dirty. Having her man's hands all over her body and showing her how bad he wants to bend her over right then and there was shameful. They were raised to believe women like that are degrading themselves. Women were ALSO raised to believe a fucking fairy princess was an actual occupation for little girls. Little girls were allowed to believe raising a child was as simple as caring for her baby dolls. Obviously, they grew out of that bullshit, so why would this be any different?

     The reasons behind a man not wanting his woman to be more assertive and expressive sexually are much simpler. Sure, he may have been raised to believe he's disrespecting his lady by expressing his sensual or sexual attraction, but that's not normally the case. Where porn is so readily available and abundant, a man's ability to separate porn from real life gets blurred a hell of a lot more than women. A man won't view the physical and sexual expression as a matter of respect vs. degradation; he just doesn't want it from his lady because quite frankly, he can have that anytime he wants. He's more into the thrill of the porno hunt. He'll turn down his lady when she wants to show him public intimacy and sensuality, claiming to have more respect for her than that, or he'll tell her that's not how he is, at least not with HER. Let him go out with his friends; he's fucking women, "Doggy-style" on the dance floor. Some men will grind on another woman so hard he'll literally bust a nut on himself in his pants. His mission for the night is to get a handful of ass and any other indicators she'll go out to his car and fuck him like a titan at the end of the night. He'll try his best to get his hands down the inside of her dress or top. Don't be fooled; your man WANTS to feel and get felt up, just not by you!

     Men won't judge other men about how they treat their women based on sexual interaction. They see it as a good thing. Whether they admit it or not, most men WANT a woman who's open enough to slide her hand inside his pants and stroke him until he releases himself, even if she's ugly as fuck. If he's dirty like that and doing dirty shit, he won't care how the other woman looks; his focus is on busting a nut and bragging about how it made him feel like he was in a real-life porno scene. The reason he wouldn't want his lady to do it is that he's trying to maintain a certain level of distance between them so he can play down their relationship in case he sees something else he likes. That also explains why your man will distance himself in public at the club but will want his dick sucked when they get to the car or want her, "Freak nasty," when no one else is around.

     Stop letting strangers and their opinion of you put your need for sensual and sexual attention on trial because they think it makes you look trashy or cheap. Who gives a fuck what they think? Stop allowing your friends to tell you your man doesn't respect you because he's always on you trying to feel you up. Don't let people put stupid shit in your head, trying to convince you all he wants is sex all the time. So fucking what if he does? If you like it too, what's the big fucking deal? You're a grown woman, you pay your bills, have your own life, and answer for your own actions. If someone can't accept you for who you are as an individual, are they REALLY your friend, or are they just looking for another lemming to follow their expectations? Especially if your friends are single, always in short-term or miserable fucking relationships. Why would their opinion matter that much?

     Stop letting your man deny you what you need to satisfy your craving for physical/sexual expression or affirmation. Stop allowing men to ration out what they want to give you or want you to have. Trust me when I tell you men WANT a woman's ass grinding on his dick, look at how most men dance with women; that should be your first fucking indicator if you can't even rub your man's dick through his front pocket in public but wants your inner fantasy freak when no one else is around. It's not that he's worried about making you look bad; he just doesn't want people to see how involved he is with you; he wants to maintain his "Dating but single and available" status. When he goes back to the same place that following weekend, he can play you down as a first date or someone he's just, "Hanging out with."

     Go ahead, try it. If you've never been in a relationship where your man just wanted to be all over you when you're out together, not just at home, go for it, you may not have been exposed to it in the past or been raised to think it brings an unfavorable impression to others. Still, you may actually like it, even develop a hunger for it. You may love it; you may hate it, but make it about you, not what someone else thinks. If you know it's what you need and your partner can't or won't give it to you, then you have a decision to make. Don't deny yourself what you want and need and don't do the same to your partner. Be open to communicate freely and to at least try with an open mind; you may be surprised.

     No woman in a relationship hopes to meet a man who doesn't want to make love, have sex, or fuck her like an animal. If there are women out there like that, she's with the wrong man. A woman WANTS to be taken, bent over, and fucked like a caveman, maybe just not by the man she's with, but she does want it. Maybe her man isn't putting out the right vibe for her to desire that from him, but she does desire it. Remember when you were younger, and whenever you did something wrong, all your parents had to do was give that fucked up look, and you knew you'd better stop, be quiet, or you knew you were getting your ass beat when you got home? A woman wants that with her man; when you're out having dinner, at the movies, dancing, whatever. She'll cream herself silly when she looks over at her man, and he gives her same fucked look; that look that tells her when they get home, she' going to be walking a little crooked that next morning or he wants to take in the restroom right then and there and bend her ass over the sink. If you're the type of man who can't look at his lady that way every now and then, the two of you need to sit down and communicate your needs and desires for one another. If they don't mesh, like anything else, your choices are to deal or re-evaluate your decision to stay together.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 20, 2020


     When a relationship or friendship has run its course and, the end has come and gone, most people take the high road and walk away without regret and a better understanding of themselves, along with a learned lesson or two. Others just can't let that happen. They can't just walk away and move forward; they feel as if karma's too busy to lend a hand or taking her own sweet time to rain down retribution and, they'll want to lend a hand of their own for revenge. After a breakup, we all like to think we'd be able to lick our wounds and just get past whatever happened, but some people just aren't built that way, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity. You'll feel an onslaught of emotions; anger, humiliation, depression, pain, betrayal, and sometimes revenge. 


     As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold; the truth is, revenge is a dish best served never. We want the offender to pay for screwing us over, thinking we're getting them back, but the truth very rarely does it affect the object of vengeance on the intended level. Sometimes it does works, and when it does, the damage is ridiculous. The question is: Why go through the hassle, the planning, and the obsession of wanting to get revenge in the first place? For closure? Learning experiences. Or just plain old-fashioned payback? 


     When somebody has done us dirty, it's natural to want them to know how much their actions fucked us up. We'll want them to feel exactly the way they made us feel, hopefully learning a lesson and keep them from doing it to someone else. Even if that were true, it's not like you're going to give them another chance, or vice-versa, so you'll never really see or find out if your plan of revenge worked. The revenge-seeker isn't interested in protecting anyone else. Hoping they've learned a lesson means even less. They'll never see or reap the benefits of the change in the person. Another sad truth is even though the revenge seeker may claim or even believe their goal of revenge is to protect others from suffering the same fate, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but the seeker. Any other reason they come up with is straight bullshit. 


     There are many reasons people seek revenge on those who have done them wrong or feel the need to be taught a "lesson." Plain and simple immaturity. They don't know how to handle rejection or being hurt; they don't experience bad luck or being fucked over often and don't know how to deal with it. On the other hand, it may have happened so much in their lives, they've reached their limit, and it's time for some payback. 


     Revenge is for people who can't move on. Vengeance is their closure; they need it to put their pain to bed and begin anew. Once revenge has been served, even if there's any level of gratification, it'll only be temporary, and it won't live up to the expectation of the fantasy. It won't make you feel better; again, if it does, the feeling of retribution will only last a short time and will never live up to what your expectations. You'll look like an ass, especially if the other person has moved on, and you can't or haven't. They'll either make fun of you or refuse to engage your silly ass, and that will anger you and fuel your desire for more revenge. You care more than they do; the offended has allowed their goal of revenge to consume their attention, keeping them from possibly meeting someone else. They'll be un-dateable until they come to their senses and move on. 


     In relation to infidelity, a woman may want to "Warn" another woman about the guy she's currently seeing or just talking to. A man may make up or embellish a story about his experience with a woman in order to make her into something she's not. In the workplace, a person may seek revenge against someone who bested them out of a promotion or advancement and wants to set them up for failure in front of others. 


     How would a person go about seeking revenge? Truthfully, it depends on the imagination of the seeker, as well as the severity of the offense. Of course, you are being lied to or cheated on being the worst. Stealing could be another one, causing someone humiliation, embarrassment, or inferiority could be others. People will spread rumors and gossip. Everything you may have told the offended person will now most likely be a matter of public record. Any of your friends, you've expressed a dislike for or talked shit about behind their backs. They now know exactly what you've said about them. They'll talk shit about you to your friends and theirs. 


     The revenge-seeker will approach the new partner of their ex and attempt to "Warn" them about how bad their relationship was. They'll enlist the help of their friends also to sabotage any attempts to move forward to someone new. They may lie about still being together, the cause of the breakup, or still having sex. The seeker will make sure to run into you while you're out, so they're seen will someone new to initiate jealousy. They'll take their new partner to the business or restaurant the ex-works. 


     They want you to see them getting attention. They'll hit the gym, thinning out and dressing sexier, in an attempt to get a reaction. Women will take to social media, posting pictures of herself out on the town, having the time of her life. Men will immediately change their relationship status and make suggestive comments about his newly single status. They'll brag about how wonderful their new partner is and how they wasted their time with anyone else. 


     In extreme cases, some will use their children as tools of revenge; they deny visitation or restrict availability out of spite. If divorced, they'll keep their married name, knowing it bothers the ex-husband. Staying close to and maintaining a relationship with the family or children of an ex is another way to stay in someone's life and siphon revenge slowly and continuously. They refuse to return your shit. The seeker will intentionally date someone of a different race, knowing the ex may be prejudice or racist. 


     Giving the impression they may be more sexually active than before may bring out a reaction from the offender. In case of crossing paths with the ex, the offender will make out with random people. They walk by more than necessary, hoping to catch their attention or allow them to overhear others' comments on how hot they look. They'll show a level of physical attention and sexuality with someone new, throwing it your face. They'll hit on your friends and even try to fuck one or more of them. They'll make you think you're getting back together; they'll come back and try to have sex. Once the other person believes there may be a reconciliation, the seeker will flip it and use it to twist the offender's head around and fuck their head up. 


     The seeker may mess with your credit or finances. They call or text and pretend it was an accident. If they see you with someone new, they'll blow your phone up, trying to find out who the person you were with was. They'll drive by your place to check for an unknown car parked out front. They won't return your pet.


     People feel as if the offender deserves it; they've gotten away with it for so long, revenge is about due. The drawback? In hurting the person that hurt you, there's a more than probable, almost definite chance you'll involve and hurt someone innocent who has absolutely nothing to do with whatever happened between you and the offender.


     Insecurity will drive the need for revenge, fear of being alone while the other person moves on. People will seek revenge for fear of failure. The offender may have destroyed the fantasy of romance or relationship for the offended. Some people rely on others for identity, but once that's taken away, due to a breakup or end of a friendship, the requirement for revenge will consume the offended. They may have abandonment issues stemming from their past. Revenge keeps the offender in the life of the offended. Revenge keeps you angry. Letting go or choosing to walk away without revenge doesn't make you weak or gullible. 


     When it comes to revenge, one of the important things the seeker doesn't give any thought to is the collateral damage their revenge will cause. Someone innocent will almost always get caught up in the bullshit between the seeker and the offender. Lying about them cheating or trying to get back together will cause doubt in the new partner. Their self-confidence may already be fragile, and your need for revenge has fucked them up even worse. Your obsession with revenge will cause your friends to question who you are and won't be as comfortable telling you things about themselves in fear that you'll use the information against them if the friendship ever went sideways. They may believe you'll make a play for their significant other if you feel they did you wrong. Revenge is nothing more than a way to hold on to the past. Face the pain of what happened and avoid the stages of the end and starting over.




Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 12, 2020


     Our friendships are the foundation of our social circle. The company we kept shape us as children, teenagers, have such an impact on how we interact with people as young adults and well into maturity; whether positive or negative. Our friends influence how we interact with our co-workers and even strangers.

     Sometimes trying to hold on to old friendships is the absolute LAST thing you should do, depending on the situation. There can be consequences for trying to keep a friendship back in the day. That best friend you played varsity ball with through high school and even went to college together may have chosen a path of selling drugs, running with a gang, or some other type of criminal activity. While you're walking the straight and narrow, doing what you need to do to support yourself and your family, hanging out with that old friend got you caught in a crossfire between a rival gang or drug dealer.

     Sarah and Becky have been inseparable best friends since Jr. High. Going on to the same high school and even to college together, becoming sorority sisters. Ten years later, Becky's climbing the management ladder at her company; unfortunately, Sarah's life choices landed her into a chasm of alcoholism or drug use. Trying to be a good friend, she allows Sarah to move in with to get clean. Imagine the surprise on Becky's face when she comes home from work to find out Sarah robbed her for drug money, or her drug addict friends are smoking pot or shooting heroin in her house that's about to get raided because she's allowed her pimp to run prostitutes through her place.

     There's a point where friendships have run its course and it's time to move on. Sometimes these friends aren't as bad as being drug dealers or users; they could just be in the same place mentally as when you met so many years ago. If they're still the same people you knew from back in the day, it may be time to sit down and figure out why this particular friend hasn't evolved into adulthood or a more mature lifestyle. They're still the player they were in college or the party girl from the sorority house, and you're so far past that, just being around them makes you feel like than who you are.

     Another thing to consider; unfortunately, who you choose to associate with publicly does have an impact on how you're viewed in the eyes of other people. For example, you could be a good, decent, hard-working guy. The fact that you're hanging out with a guy who is known for being players or generally disrespectful to women or just out for sex, trust me, that's how you'll be viewed as well just by association. Just like a woman or a group of women. If one or more of your female friends are known to be easy or quick to fuck after a few drinks, chances are, men will think the same about you until you set them straight. Be ready for them to be shitty though; your friends are slutty, so you should be too.

     Trying to keep friends past the expiration date can also be a bad idea in terms of your professional career. Tom's as hard-working as they come; he's the go-to guy in the office. Mike, on the other hand, chooses to wait until the last minute to finish his projects or reports and often hands them in incomplete or riddled with mistakes. Sooner or later, Mike's going to drag Tom's reputation down; it'll never happen in reverse. It's easier to drag someone down than to build someone else up.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


APRIL 5, 2020


     You tried. You gave it your best shot, but you just couldn't quite make it work. Hey, at least you tried; that's more than what some people can say, even on their very best day. There's no shame in failure, as long as you can look in the mirror and be confident you gave it to you very best. Nobody's perfect, and failure is a part of life, just like success. Without failure, they joy of success wouldn't be nearly as sweet. Understandably, no one wants to admit failure, whether it be building and flying a kite to starting a business. We all want to walk into every project, knowing that kite's going to fly the way it's supposed to, or you've just stepped onto the first rung of the next multi-million-dollar business ladder.

     Now the truth. We're not fail-proof, not by a long shot. No one is exempt from or above failure. Those hard-core business tycoons with houses on every coast. The athletes who defy gravity and logic with their moves and bank accounts to the actors and entertainers who sellout crowds by the thousands didn’t just wake up one day being the best at what they do. They failed also. They tried different things and failed until they found what they were good at, and it brought them to where they are now. What makes you any different from them? What makes you unworthy of the same success others have been blessed with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; the only difference is they were willing to try. They owned up to and accepted their failures. They had the motivation and the drive to continue until they found their path to success.

     People are afraid to try because they fear what others may think of them. If they fall short, they'll question themselves in other areas of their lives, not even remotely related to what they were trying to do. If their business fails, they'll examine their ability to provide for their family, their competence at their job, or their marriage/relationship. They fear what others will think of them. Why the hell should you care about what someone who isn't even trying thinks of you? The truth is, you shouldn't, not at all. Again, at least you tried. And you learned something.

     People fear failure because they think others will lose interest in them. They think if they try and fail, they'll lose their significant other to someone they see as more successful or smarter—fear of being seen as less intelligent. Failure will definitely fuck with a person's confidence and self-esteem for sure. Fear of disappointing those you love/care about—ridicule and criticism from friends, co-workers, or even family or partner. No one wants to hear, "I told you so," especially when they're trying their hardest to succeed. Fear of failure will make a person physically ill; butterflies, cramps, headaches, etc. Admitting failure is embarrassing. Admitting failure is admitting shortcomings. Fear of failure is fear of being replaced both in relationship and career.

     In their love life, people fear rejection. No one wants to be seen approaching someone, just to be sent away, especially men. Women will prejudge and assume a she's not good enough for a man she views as out of her league, no matter what her friends say, or how great a catch she is, and any man would be lucky to meet/have her. A woman will gauge a man's interest, based on her looks, weight, etc. in regards to his. Men approach women and will use insults as a defense mechanism in response to rejection. Both men and women will discourage each other if they feel someone may be too far out of their friend's league. That thought alone prevents people from meeting someone they just might have a great relationship or friendship with.

     Failure exists because people lose their focus; they find themselves getting caught up binge-watching their favorite TV show. Taking on too much at one time and not setting shorter-term goals. Not setting priorities. Low motivation/weak motivators. Wanting to lose weight and get into shape may be enough to get you through the front door and sign up for that gym membership. But it'll take more to get up at 5 am every morning and give 100% every time—frustration and impatience, setting unrealistic goals and expectations. As we step back into the gym/weight room, we want the results we want when WE want them—negativity and giving up at the first sign of hardship or obstacles. Writers don't give up their book the first time they have a case of writer's block. Otherwise, a lot of books wouldn't have been written.

     Shitty planning. Having an idea but not acting on it is the same as not having an idea at all and being too lazy to act on it. Making excuses; not trying means not failing. People fail because they see their failure prematurely—lack of commitment.

     Fear of failure is only one side of the coin for obvious reasons; fear of success is the other. We are not able to live up to future expectations. Public speaking. Rejection. Making the wrong choice, second-guessing, will turn a simple obstacle into a brick wall and definitely hinder a person's progress to success. The opinion of others shouldn't matter, but we will allow ourselves to be sidetracked or led off our intended path, especially by those who are either jealous or unsupportive of what you're trying to accomplish. Fear of responsibility. Saying or doing the wrong thing. Fear of challenges. We are missing out on something and being replaced. Death. Fear of being exposed as a fake. Let's not forget; fear of commitment.

     Whatever your fear may be, understand failure is a part of life, a stepping-stone to success if everything comes without failure, the appreciation of making it won't be anywhere near as enjoyable. A huge part of success is looking back at everything and everyone who doubted you stood in your way or criticized you. Find your motivation, whether it be in love, career, independence, physical, or emotional progression. Write that book. Lose weight. Start that business. Leave that abusive or toxic relationship. Approach that man. Ask that lady out. Knock out that Do-it-yourself project. Face your fear and correct your mistakes. Accept your failure and re-adjust. Ask for help. Kickass at work and home. Be the avalanche that wipes out anything that makes you feel unworthy of success.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 30, 2020


     They go by many names. Hoe. Whore. Slut. Tramp. Skank. Pick your poison. The workplace player does have a female counterpart; for the purpose of this article, we won't use any of the names mentioned above. We'll call her G.A or, "The Get-around girl."

     First of all, the margin for truth being considered, the GA wants a relationship, no matter what she says. She'll use her ass to land a man she wants. She may act like she's just out to fuck the men she works with, but understand that even if that were the case, a woman has to actually be attracted to something about a man, even if she's just interested in him sexually. She has to see him as a potential partner before she fucks him. Men decide they want a relationship AFTER having sex; Women decide a man's potential BEFORE she gives it up. Men can get hard and fuck anything that looks at him sideways, even she looks like a scorpion and built like a rhino.

     It does happen, but most women don't fuck to get ahead in their careers. To jump-start it, maybe, but not to progress or advance; not usually. The G.A has more than 1 child by multiple men. Her first targets are the men with the most potential; seeing as most of them won't give her the time of day, due to her reputation, she'll pick the best option she can. The G.A will brag about what men do for her. (Give her money, pay her bills, take care of her needs, etc.) The G.A will brag about how good her men give her the dick. Whether other women want to hear about it or not, she'll share details about what goes on in their bed. She doesn't care what other women think; they're just jealous they can't do what she's doing, or they're not strong enough of a woman to be who they want to be.

     Let her tell it, no man can put the dick on her. A G.A wants a man she can control, even though she won't respect him if he lets her. She'll act like she's in charge, but she really wants a strong, Alpha man to calm her ass down when she gets out of pocket. She'll act like she's the shit to beat all, but she has shitty self-esteem, and she believes she has to have sex to get men to like her. Some women won't know they're being played, not because they're naive' but because they think they're too smart, and also strong a woman to get played. The G.A won't go after a work pimp; she knows he's out of her league, and he wants no part of her reputation. She drinks almost every weekend. Just to get drunk and/or smokes pot.

     The G.A will brag about her weekend when no one even asked or cares. Where women will warn other women about a player, a woman won't warn a man about a woman being a G.A. Get more than one G.A in close proximity in the office, and they'll shit-talk each other for a guy they both want. Their advances will be clear as fucking day, and they have no issues with how they look to others. She won't care if he has a lady; she'll want to break them up then leave him when she's done with him. (After, she's gotten all she can get from him). She'll have limited social ability. Other women will see her as ghetto as hell, but she doesn't care; in her mind, everyone at her job's jealous of her because she has all these men after her. She wants to be the Beta of the pack, and only other G.A's will want to be around her. Other women want nothing to do with her because they don't want to viewed as being like her in the eyes of her co-workers.

     The Get Around Girl is the pinnacle of street smarts. It's NEVER her fault when she gets kicked to the curb by the working player; She'll tell everyone SHE dumped HIM when she realizes she's been played herself. (He had a little dick, gay, racist, couldn't fuck, he's scared of a strong, woman, he wasn't shit anyway.) She'll talk shit about any man that doesn't want her, and she'll brag about all the men she's playing. She doesn't want to know about or hear about anyone who has an actual good relationship; she'll try to convince them they're being played, and they need to be more like her. She's miserable and wants as many people to join her mob of misery as she can find.

     The G.A doesn't work out; she doesn't have to. As long as men are willing to fuck her just the way she is, she thinks she's the shit, and she'll wear shit she has absolutely NO BUSINESS wearing. Work out on the town or to the grocery store. Her shit is way too tight and revealing, and while most men are looking at her, asking, "What the fuck?" Many men are looking at her and thinking, "I'd fuck her," Just because her ass is up in the air or her tits are halfway out. The definition of a whore is someone who receives money or any type of compensation in exchange for sex. If you're fucking guys at your job and they're paying your bills, giving you money, or other providing some form of compensation because you're fucking him, I'm not calling you a whore, but if it walks, talks, and looks like a duck, then it's a duck—a duck who's getting paid to fuck.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 22, 2020


     There's an unseen war going on between men and women for the controlling share in their relationship, whether they realize it or not. Men want to be the head of the household, and women want to avoid being the submissive partner. Men don't want to see an as soft or unable to manage their home and, women don't want the stigma of being weak or docile. Equality may be the goal, but realistically, that dream comes to be nothing more than just an idea in these modern times.

     For one, seeking, "Control" is wrong; that's your 1st mistake. The 2nd is being dismissive or defensive when your partner brings your unnecessary siege for control of a situation to your attention. With equality being the ultimate goal, there can and will be times where one person will and should step aside and allow the other to take a more dominant role in a situation. They may have knowledge, training, or experience that applies to what's going on and are more physically or mentally equipped to make a more informed decision or take better action or precautions. There will be times where communication before reacting is available and times, where that process will have to wait until the situation or crisis is over.

     For example, if your wife is a CPA and part of her job is doing corporate taxes for large companies, why wouldn't you step aside and allow her to do the family taxes? That makes you smart, not weak. If your husband's a mechanic, why wouldn't you step aside and allow him to decide which used cars are going to be better suited for the family in terms of parts, maintenance, dependability, etc.? That makes YOU smart, not docile or meek. In an emergency, if someone breaks into your home and your wife's a police officer, she doesn't have time to explain her instructions to you. Just fucking follow them, same as if your husband was a firefighter, and you wake up in the middle of the night to smoke and flames coming from the room next door.

     Sometimes the battle for control won't have anything to do with a mutual situation; it'll come in the form of, "You did it, so I should be able to do it also" One person spent $200 on a pair of name brand sneakers or a purse they may have wanted for a while. The other person will see this as a bid for power, and they'll try to equalize the scales by going out and spending the same amount, or just a little bit more on something they may not even have thought about purchasing, only to, "Be fair." That shit is childish, especially if you knew those shoes or that purse was something they've been wanting or saving for.

     The fight to be right is a fierce one; people fight for control by trying to prove the other person wrong. If successful, they're convinced you're the one with the issue, and they need to take over and save the day. That way, they can continue their quest for control and make it seem as if they have what's best for the relationship at heart.

     During a discussion, one person's so focused on what they want to say. Next, they're not even listening to what you're saying. Men have been taught and raised to ignore or dismiss their dependency. Or a need for emotional support and to be the source of comfort in a relationship. They're the rock, the foundation of the relationship, and stepping aside or admitting they don't know something or their partner may be better equipped to handle a "Manly" situation will screw his head on backward, and he wants no part of that. A woman will ask logical/rhetorical questions or make statements in an attempt to make such a convincing argument that has no actual flaw; she'll hope he sees the logic in her theory and backs down.

     Interrogation. In the quest for power, one person will make accusations or demand answers, putting to another person in a position to have to account for, explain, or defend themselves. "Why are you late?" "Why didn't you call?" "Who were you with?" Think of it as a court of law, and the witness is being questioned by the prosecutor.

     They are avoiding criticism. Unnecessary criticizing and complaining about some bullshit is another way people try to take control of their relationship. Your partner doesn't want to hear your mouth over something stupid, so they'll keep theirs shut and allow you just to talk and talk and talk. A woman may see an interracial couple and will criticize that relationship out loud to her partner. He doesn't want to hear it, but won't say anything to her about it or ask her to keep her voice down, because she'll start in on him. A man may have an issue with a homosexual couple, but she won't ask him to stop talking about it, because he'll turn it around to her and expect her to agree with him. When she expresses any opinion other than his, he'll take it as her being argumentative or dismissive.

     Body Language. Laughing at your partner when they're trying to talk about something serious. Eye-rolling, crossed arms, the silent treatment.

     The denial of affection, intimacy, or sex. 

     Conditional situations. Someone trying to control their relationship will require, "Proof" of their partner's love or commitment. They'll ask for changes in the partner. To take on more of his/her interests or hobbies instead of pursuing or continuing their own, and wanting a 24/7 cheerleader without returning the sentiment.

     Power. Physical or verbal abuse. Threats of violence or the end of the relationship.

     The battle for control and power can and will get nasty, even if you believe you're doing it for the right reason. Trust me, while you're fighting for control, you're driving a wedge between you both, and the result won't be pretty if you feel as if you need to be in control. You're either so self-centered that you can't admit you're wrong, so independent you don't need anyone, or you're so scared you're going to be taken advantage of. Your self-preservation won't allow you to be successful in any relationship. Either way, you have no business trying to be with anyone. Learn to control your shit; that way, you won't have to control someone else.

     While you may be more qualified to take the dominant role in a particular situation, that doesn't translate to ignoring your partner's thoughts or input. Communication is vital; reassure them their voice and opinions are essential. Let them know they'll be consulted before any final decisions will be made. You don't know everything; you're going to be wrong sometime. A relationship is a partnership; someone's watching your back, and you're watching theirs. You can't watch your own. Go ahead, try it; it's called running your dumb ass around in circles.  


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


Mar 08, 2020