Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


December 8, 2018


Faster than a cheating bullet

     I decided to write this in multiple parts for many reasons. First, because it would be WAY too much to read at one time & I wouldn't take the time to read all of it myself, so I wouldn't expect anyone else to either. Second, I feel this is an important subject that should be taken seriously, and I didn't want any of the points to be missed and to eliminate confusion. Third, I feel there are so many facets and opinions; I want to give the opportunity for responses, views, personal beliefs, and experiences, as well as comments.

     Why do we feel the need or desire to cheat? Why would someone put the time and effort into meeting and cultivating a relationship, only to step out and seek satisfaction outside their relationship, instead of fixing or ending it? Before getting into this, I feel it's only fair as well as necessary for me to admit to my bullshit.

     Yeah, I've cheated; both physically and emotionally. I've stepped out on my partner and my relationship on more than one occasion, and in the process, managed to burn and fuck over a few exceptional women who didn't deserve what happened to them; their only mistake was to have met me while in the middle of my, "Dumb as fuck" phase of life.

     I could say I was drunk, but I don't drink; I haven't had a drop of alcohol since around 1997. I could tell It was difficult to turn down the pussy because I've had it thrown at me all the time, but that didn't happen either. Medical issues? Used to have a variety of women to choose from and the thought of settling down with one woman didn't appeal to me? Not even close. I could say it was just pussy and it wouldn't hurt anyone, as long as no one found out. I could also go the coward route and use the oldest excuse in the book and say I thought she was cheating on me... No, I didn't. No matter the reason, the truth of the matter is they're all bullshit, just bullshit to rationalize being a cheating fucking assclown.

     So, why did I cheat? I cheated because I wasn't honest with myself or my partner about my needs. I cheated because I didn't concern myself with her needs or expectations. I didn't know anything about love languages; both mine or hers. I couldn't communicate what was important to me in a relationship, which also meant I couldn't hear what they were saying either. I chose women I wasn't attracted to, women who were emotionally unavailable. I decided three fourths to full-time mothers of multiple small children who had limited amounts of time and availability to spend with each other. I picked women who wanted me, no matter what they looked like, how big they were, what their hang-up’s or issues were. I went after women who were just like me, just fucking grateful that someone wanted to be with me, and even seen with me in public. I went after women who wanted more out of the relationship than I did, even though I knew I wasn't interested in them in the same capacity. I went after women who I felt no one else wanted, who thought they were just as unattractive and undesired as I was.

     I cheated because I didn't like myself. I cheated because I despised what I saw in the mirror. I was fat and unattractive, and I hated myself. I cheated because I knew no one wanted me and I didn't know when the next time I was going to meet someone who wanted to be with me, so I felt I needed to take advantage of every opportunity that came my way. I chose women I couldn't or didn't see a future with. I cheated because I had shitty self-esteem and even lower self- confidence. I cheated because I was a fucking loser, wallowing in a pool of self-loathing, pity, and hatred.

     Then I got sick; ridiculously sick, spending time in and out of the hospital for the better part of a year, trying to get my medical situation under control. One of the biggest things the doctor was adamant about was the need for me to lose weight and get into shape, take a more active approach to my health and physical fitness, or I'd be destined for a worst-case scenario. And so, I did; signed up to a gym, lost the weight, changed my eating habits, and improved my overall health.

     Then the unthinkable happened while on my path to better health; as a side effect, I saw that I was not only gaining muscle, I also found myself drawing attention from a percentage of women as I'd never experienced before. It was pretty damn cool; everywhere I went, I was getting checked out, approached, hit on, etc. and it was fucking cool... I fed into it and allowed myself to be swept into the whole thing, not giving any thought to the relationship I was in. I lied about where I was going, who I was going with, what I was doing; ANYTHING I could do to get out by myself, so I could see how many phone numbers I could get, females I could meet and hook up with. I was so wrapped up doing dirty shit; it never occurred to me that I was leaving such a visible trail of bullshit, I pretty much telegraphed the fact I was lying and cheating that it was only a matter of time before my fantasy world came crashing down around me. Believe me when I tell you it came crashing down hard.

     I cheated because I got wrapped up in myself and the attention I was getting. I cheated because I allowed myself to get caught up in my bullshit, dealing with shallow fucking women who wanted absolutely nothing to do with me before. I liked the inattention I was getting, being accepted by not only women but from people who wanted to hang around me, because of the women I was attracting and I was into every second of it. Soon, I was spending more time away from my relationship and more time stepping out, trying to fuck around.

     I cheated because I wanted to be accepted by my peers; I wanted to be seen as a player, popular with the women. I didn't care about them, and I craved the hi-fives and accolades from my boys whenever I walked into the club and could get up on one of a half-dozen women, thinking that other women would hopefully see me as, "The man" and want to come at me. I cheated because I was sick of being a nobody; I wanted to be somebody. I was tired of going out, not meeting anyone, and I sure as hell didn't want to be seen out in public with some of the women I went after. I cheated because I wanted the best possible partner I could get and, in my head, having more than one woman on the line to choose from and adding to that line as much as I possibly could make the most sense to me at the time.

     The fact of the matter is no matter what rationalization I can muster to explain why I cheated. It's all bullshit, straight bullshit, and even though I'm proud to say I'm not that person anymore. It still embarrasses me to look back and see myself for who I was and although I can't make up for the past, I can tell my story, in hopes I've reached at least one person and maybe stop them from making the same mistakes, and damaging others the way I did. And to those who I've personally damaged or caused heartbreak, I honestly and sincerely apologize.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


December 1, 2018



     For every positive, there's a negative; for every light, there's a dark, every weapon, there's a defense. Unlike such beneficial tools from back in the day, from the Mixtape, the CANDYGRAM we used to send girls we liked in school on holidays such as Valentine's day, or the subtle, "Do you like me, YES or NO (circle one)" Folded note, to the "Finger fortune-teller" there's a darker, more sinister tool that needs no introduction, but DEFINITELY requires defining... THE COCKBLOCK.

     Make no mistake; the COCKBLOCK has been around far longer than any of us could ever imagine and is a bitch to reckoned with. Like the prehistoric MEGALADON, it's an Apex Predator with no known natural enemies, rows and rows of sharp teeth, armored skin, and the ability to sense its prey & cover vast distances extremely quickly. The COCKBLOCK is stealthy, sneaking up at a moment's notice, lifting its head just in time to bite you right in the asshole and retreating back into the bush, or comes charging full steam like a Juggernaut, crushing everything in its path.


     Before REALLY getting into its depths, there are a few things we must understand when discussing the COCKBLOCK. First of all, the cockblock knows no gender lines; women can use it against women, women against men, men against men, and men against women. The cockblock can also be used ANYWHERE, from the club to church, to the grocery store, pretty much everywhere people frequent or congregate, even if just briefly. It's a weapon that never runs out of ammunition, never needs maintenance or breaks down. It is adaptable to any given situation and can pass through any metal detector, making it virtually universal & user-friendly.

     "How is it Used?" The cockblock is used to make sure no one else has the opportunity to have his/her chance with someone of the opposite (or same) sex after the user has been turned down. For the purpose of this article, we're just going to focus on the opposite gender aspect.

     SCENARIO 1: Sam and his friends are out on the town, having a few beers, looking to hook up and get some ass. He sees Sara at the end of the bar and decides she's the girl he wants to take home and fuck. Sam approaches her, and maybe she takes him up on his invitation for a drink or dance, and they head out to the floor. After a song or two, she thanks him, and he walks her back to her seat, all the while, trying to hold her hand, as if they're together, but with no luck. Without even being invited, he takes a seat and starts in on her with all the swagger and game that's gotten him pussy in his past, but Sara is unimpressed and uninterested.

     During their dance, Sam notices that Darius was checking Sara out and she was doing the same, showing a definite physical attraction, which is why Sam tried so hard to make it look as if he and Sara might be together. Much sooner than later, Sam realizes he's wasting his time with Sara and knows she has no intention of fucking him, but he'll be damned if Darius gets a chance. So he either continues trying to get to know her, or he'll back off enough to keep from bugging the fuck out of Sara but remain close enough to keep Darius at bay, wondering if they're together or not. After 2 or 3 beers, Sam may have to piss like there's no tomorrow. He knows as soon as he goes to take a piss, Darius is going to walk up and ask Sara what the deal is with her and Sam and that silly asshat will risk a fucking bladder infection than to lose pussy that didn't even want him in the first place!

     SCENARIO 2: Tracy and David just broke up a month ago after a 2-year relationship. While out for the night, Tracy sees David having a conversation with another woman and it seems to be going well. Some light touching, laughing and a few dances confirm an obvious physical chemistry. The exchange of cell phone numbers takes place before the other woman heads to the restroom. Tracy follows and catches her in the bathroom or the hallway and proceeds to break down every single one of David's faults or explains what he did that lead to their breakup, all the while, never admitting her own indiscretions. Whether the other woman believes Tracy or not, she decides that's WAY too much drama her to want to be a part of and removes herself from the situation entirely. COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!

     SCENARIO 3: Jenny and her girlfriends are out, kicking up their heels at their favorite spot when John walks in and IMMEDIATELY catches Jenny's eye. After 30 minutes or so, John approaches Jackie and asks her to dance, which she turns him down, putting a smile on Jenny's face. Another 30 minutes go by, and Jenny's friends have boosted her courage and confidence enough to walk over and talk to John, and the 2 of them head to the dance floor. Their chemistry is almost instant, and they spend a good 30-45 minutes, killing it on the dance floor, all the while, agitating Jackie, who not only turned John down but doesn't even know Jenny.

     Determined not to let Jenny and John enjoy their night, she posts herself to where she catches John's eye, and she starts smiling & flirting with him while he and Jenny are obviously into each other and having a good time together. John, being a stupid fucking idiot, returns her smiles and playful glances; sooner or later catching Jenny's attention, causing her to feel disrespected and lose her interest. John doesn't care, and in his mind, he has a chance to fuck Jackie, who now has no interest in him because she was successful in blocking his dumb ass from getting pussy from somewhere else. It was never about him; it was about eliminating the competition... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!

     SCENARIO 4: Henry sees and chooses Maria as soon as he notices her walking in by herself an takes a seat along the wall. He makes his way over to her and strikes up a conversation. Not wanting to be rude, Maria obliges and leaves the opportunity for possibility open for the time being. Then, in walk James and asks if the seat on the side of them is free. James takes the seat and orders a drink, not giving any thought to either Henry or Maria. Shortly afterward, Maria notices James' a little more and finds herself attracted to him. She keeps looking over at him, even managing to shift her seat over closer to him, periodically brushing against him, "accidentally" to initiate some form of physical contact and communication in the form of an apology. It doesn't take Henry long to notice this, & not wanting to lose out, he stands up to, "Stretch his legs" before slyly but patiently shifting to the opposite side of Maria and wedges himself in the small void between Maria and James, cutting off her view and the possibility on any continued, "Accidental" brushings.

     Unaware of Henry's motives, and still determined to get James to notice her, Maria tries her hardest to maneuver herself back and forth, in her seat inconspicuously. Henry's no fool though, he wiggles himself deeper & more prominently in the small fucking space between Maria and James, almost either pushing him halfway off his seat or sitting in his lap, Causing James to either shift farther away or getting up and finding another place to sit... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!

     SCENARIO 5: The music is cranked, and the dance floor packed when Corey and his friends walk into the club. Ladies from the door to the tables are checking him or at least one of his friends as they head to the bar for drinks. A little while goes by and Tasha, an attractive black woman, approaches Corey and asks him to dance. Not being attracted to black women, but not wanting to be rude, he accepts her invitation and they head out to the floor for a song or 2. later, that same woman or a different woman approaches and asks for a dance, where he politely declines, stating he's hanging out with his boys for the night. She understands and walks away.

     Sometime later, Corey looks over and sees Amanda, a nice, thick redhead, built EXACTLY how he likes his women, and the 2 of them make eye contact. Corey excuses himself and makes his way across the room, takes Amanda by the hand and they hit the floor. The physical attraction and chemistry are IMMEDIATE, and they lose themselves on the floor, dancing, grinding touching, and even some kissing. Tasha sees the display and gets pissed. "How the fuck is he gonna turn me down then get out there with that white girl?" She grabs her friends and heads out to the dance floor, right to where Corey and Amanda are dancing. Tasha & her friends take turns, "Bumping" into Corey & Amanda. No matter where they manage to move to on the floor, there's Tasha or one of her friends, "Accidentally" bumping into them, almost knocking them over, before they just leave the dance floor... COCKBLOCK 50% SUCCESSFUL! Tasha knows Corey & Amanda will most likely dance again, exchange numbers, and quite possibly interact after that night, even showing up together the next weekend, but she successfully stopped them from enjoying their time together to where she can see them.

     Women will block for:

     - Revenge: Her EX-screwed her over and she'll fuck up his trying to meet someone else. A woman will also block the EX of one of her friends or at least make him EXTREMELY uncomfortable on her friends' behalf. She'll most likely block, using either the FLIRT or BITCH method. She'll either be the bitch and cause the woman not to want to be a part of their drama. She'll play the flirt, and like a fucking dumbass, he'll actually believe he has a chance to fulfill a fantasy of fucking a friend of his EX, running off the other woman, just to have the blocker laugh in his face and walk off... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!

     - Pain and Suffering: A woman who's been heartbroken will block because she essentially wants to keep her EX single, so he'll have time to miss her and want him to come back. In most cases, women take longer to recover from a serious relationship/heartbreak, where men will try to find a new pussy to fuck to force himself past the heartbroken phase.

     - Spite: A woman will cockblock for the simple reason that she'll be damned if her EX will meet or move on to new pussy or a new relationship BEFORE she does, even if she's not ready to move on, she'll keep his ass single for long as she can!!

     - Because she can: Women will get a wild hair in her ass and cockblock people she doesn't even know, just for the pure satisfaction of being able to do so.

     One thing to remember though, when it comes to a woman cockblocking another woman, 90%-95% of the time, it has very little to absolutely NOTHING to do with the guy in question. It's more about the direct competition with that other woman. She'll block another woman from getting a man the blocker doesn't even want, while the man sits there, like a goofy fucking idiot, thinking he's the man because he believes he has two women competing for his little hairy dick.

     A man will block because he wants his EX back, or he'll be damned if another man ends up with a woman he wants. A man who's TRULY out for just pussy won't cockblock another man; he'll move on to another piece of pussy. If he blocks or attempts to block, he's genuinely interested and may WANT something more substantial with her than just a fuck, no matter what comes out of his mouth.

     There you have it, the breakdown of the COCKBLOCK as I see it. As I said before, it's a formidable weapon, capable of devastating effects. The cockblock is versatile, easy to use, sometimes challenging to identify and even harder to defend when it catches you off guard.

Before my conclusion, I want to address two more, less-than-lethal weapons in the arsenal of social/sexual interaction: The PUSH/PULL method & NEGGING.

     The Push/pull method is a practical, straightforward to use, but the percentage of success is lower than the cockblock. Simply a guy will put himself between 2 women and immediately begin showing one interest. After a short while of getting to know each other, or when he senses her budding interest, he'll merely halt and shift his attention to her friend or another woman in the direct vicinity, most of the time, subconsciously putting the first woman in direct competition with the other woman for the man's attention. If successful, she'll step out of character and become extremely flirtatious or physical with him, to shift his focus back to her, which in turn will have the same effect on the other woman. So now, he has two women almost climbing all over him for his interest/attention.

     Negging is much simpler. A man will approach a woman, and after a short time of small talk and getting to know each other, he'll point out something small but negative about her, causing her to react in a way to solicit more personal or physical interaction through touching, playful hitting, etc. While he, "Apologizes," and assures her he didn't mean it the way she took it; it gives him the opportunity to increase the physical contact between them.

     In conclusion, we've covered the COCKBLOCK, the push/pull, & negging, the not-so-new weapons most people have either no idea existed or being used against them. Consider yourself informed and hopefully, you'll be more aware of these techniques being used against you, or you're able to refine them to where your own shit isn't so lame.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


November 16, 2018



     These are words that serve as one of the cornerstones of our justice system. The dictionary defines a lie as a false statement made with the deliberate intent of deception; an inaccurate or false statement or intention. The punishment for perjury depends on various things, but once the punishment has been served, it's rarely remembered unless the liar is called upon to testify or serve as a witness in another situation.

     Being caught in a lie in reference to relationships have far more severe consequences, the effects last much longer, and the chances of being trusted again depends on the content/magnitude of the lie, and it's effect on the relationship. Some people believe in, "Little white lies", while others believe a lie could be necessary in order to spare someone's feelings. Whatever the reason a person may lie to another, there are certain lie's that shouldn't be told, such as...

     "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS" Look, we all have a past, and we're bound to cross paths with people we've dated, had relationships with, had sex with, etc. If you're with your partner and you get a "Happy birthday" text, your phone rings & you know it's your EX, someone you fucked before meeting your present partner, or whatever, just be upfront and say who it is. If you have nothing to hide, there's absolutely NO REASON to lie in this situation, it's unnecessary and it'll cause the other person to not trust you; it's easier to admit it than to have to explain.

     "I LOVE YOU" If you don't, don't say you do! A lot of people will say it due to natural response, obligation, pussy, to keep the other person from feeling vulnerable, etc. It takes the level of commitment to a place you may not be ready for at the time, or maybe even ever. Once it's said, you can't take it back, so, mean it BEFORE you say it.

     "OUR FINANCES ARE FINE" Other than cheating, finances are the leading cause of breakups and divorce. Some men feel as if it's their sole responsibility to handle the finances. Lying to your spouse or partner, knowing there's a problem with what's being spent in relation to what's coming in is NEVER a good thing, just because you believe it makes you less of a man, or to hides expenses. Whatever the reason, you're asking to get shit on if/when you get caught! Not to mention, it has the potential to put the idea in your partner's head that their opinion doesn't matter when it comes to how the money's spent.

     "I'M SORRY YOU TOOK IT THAT WAY" No you're not! If you did or said something fucked up to your partner, you meant it, you meant to say it, you meant to do it, and the only reason you're apologizing for it is because the other person was intelligent enough to realize how fucked up it was, and now you're trying to backtrack to keep them from being pissed off, leaving you, or not fucking you.

     "IT'S OKAY/DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT/I'LL GET OVER IT" And if you believe that, you're a fucking idiot! If you're the person saying it, you're even worse than the person who said or did whatever it was that prompted your lie. If you're pissed off, say you're pissed off! If you're offended, say so. If you're hurt, admit it, and if you decide you're going to lie and tell you're partner not to worry about it, only to bring it up later, then YOU'RE an asshole. Your partner's not a mind-reader, so they can only go on what you tell them. Own up to being bothered by whatever the other person did or said to bother you, get past it, and let it the fuck go!

     "I DON'T LOOK AT OTHER MEN/WOMEN" Shut the hell up! You've got eyes, and you're going to look if someone attractive walks by, and there's nothing wrong with that; it becomes disrespectful when noticing becomes eye-fucking. If you're dumb enough to think your man/woman doesn't notice other people, there's something wrong with you... If you're the one saying it, you're probably doing more than just noticing!

     "YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" If they're asking, they already know they need to, they're just looking to you for a self-confidence boost. If your lady asks you if you think she's fat, she pretty much already knows she's fat; she wants you to tell her in a nice way that you love her and still want to fuck her, even though she's fat.

     "THAT OUTFIT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU" The worst thing a person can do is allow someone they care about to go out on the town, dinner, date, etc. looking like shit or wearing something that makes them look like someone wrapped a rubber band around a pillow. Granted, "You look like shit" won't go over very well, but you can suggest something else that would make them look better. When shopping, just because it looks good on the mannequin or because they make it in your size, doesn't mean it should be worn by everyone, especially if you have to ask, "Does this make me look fat?"

     "YOU'RE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD" When you're in your 20's, the goal of being the best lover your partner had thus far is definitely more attainable than in your 40's, so get a fucking clue. You may be a good, even GREAT lover, but unless you meet a virgin in their 40's, you're NOT going to be the best at every aspect of sex, so don't waste your time, trying to be the best they've had; concentrate on satisfying them by listening to them, responding to them as an individual lover, & giving verbal affirmation; you'll be just fine.


     "I CAN ONLY ORGASM IF YOU GO DOWN ON ME" This is a shitty lie that women tell men in order to manipulate him into eating her pussy, using his pride/ego as a weapon. Of course, men believe that if he can't satisfy his woman, she'll find someone who can/will, so she'll tell a man she can only orgasm (cum) if he goes down on her. Women are capable of 5 different types of orgasms: Clitoral, Vaginal, Blended, Exercise, & Skin (Goosebumps). Granted, some women are prone to a specific type of orgasm, based solely on oral sex, but not all 5!

     "I NEVER HAD AN STD" If asked, be upfront about it. Most STD's can be cured with a simple antibiotic in just a few days, & if it happened in your past, why not be honest about it! If you have something incurable, don't wait to be asked; it's not only the responsible thing to do, it's also punishable by law to knowingly pass on a disease to another person. If the person finds out you lied about something as stupid as being treated for Gonorrhea 10-15 years ago, they'll believe you'll lie if you caught something more recently.

      "I'M 2 MINUTES AWAY" Hahaha hahaha

     "I CAME SO HARD" One of the worst things a person can do is lie about/fake an orgasm... Even if it's to keep from hurting the other person's feelings. Having a small/weak dick or sloppy ass and wanting to hurry up and get it over with is usually the main reason people lie or fake an orgasm, trying to spare someone humiliation or embarrassment is just as bad. Most guys with tiny dicks, already know they have a tiny dick, and most women pretty much know their pussy's so loose, you could ride through it on a circus horse, so don't add insult to injury by having them learn they can't satisfy someone they actually care about or have feelings for.

     "YOU'RE SO BIG" Men pride themselves in their size and every guy wants to hear how big their dick is. The average erect penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, 4.5 inches around, according to multiple medical sources. If a man has to ask if you think he has a big dick, he already KNOWS the answer, and he doesn't want the truth unless you're boosting his manhood.

     "I DON'T KNOW" Yes we do. Whether asking about where to eat, go out for the night, who's calling/texting you, what movie you want to see, whatever. We know, we're just not ready to say, thinking about a response, or know the answer will spark a conversation/debate/argument the person doesn't want to have.

     "MY PHONE'S ACTING UP" You just may not feel like talking when your phone rings; you may be wrapped up in a TV show, video game, talking to a friend, or whatever when your partner calls. To keep them from getting pissed or from thinking you're doing something you shouldn't be doing, some people rely on them, "My phone's been doing that lately" excuse.

     "I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME" Hahaha hahaha. Some guys will pull that shit when they realize at some point during a date that they won't be fucking, so he doesn't feel like he should pay if he's not getting anything out of it. He doesn't care if you get pissed or ever talk to him again. Accidentally leaving your credit/debit card in the pocket of the jeans you wore the night before or in your gym bag is more believable than leaving your ENTIRE wallet at home.

     "I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS/I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE" A man's really supposed to believe he's the first man you've ever taken to your car after meeting him at the bar/club and put his dick in your mouth or riding him in the back seat on the 1st night? A woman's supposed to trust that you've NEVER bent a woman over the hood of your car and fucked her? Get serious!! Be honest about what you want and what you're after. Don't play the gentleman or the innocent waif to avoid the label of being out for just sex, you may be surprised when you find out you both are looking for the same thing.

     "MY CAR'S IN THE SHOP" An oldie but goodie, a lot of the time, this translates to, "I don't have a car, so you'll have to come to pick me up". He's hoping to get the pussy before she finds out he really doesn't have a car, but in the rare case he might actually like her, he's hoping she'll be emotionally invested before he follows up with the classic, "The mechanic doesn't think it's worth fixing, so I'm going to have to keep paying on it until it's paid off BEFORE I can get a new one."

     "I'M SINGLE" This is a hard one to decipher whether or not it's true. You'll have to trust your instincts on this one on a case by case basis...

     "I'M SICK" Whether you have another date, plans with your friends or side-piece, you want to go out & look for something else, or you just don't feel like doing shit and you don't want to piss off the person you're lying to, this is another overused classic that's gonna have to be taken on a case by case.

     "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU" This one can backfire extremely quickly; she'll either believe you or quickly go to the fall-back, "OKAY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

     "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME" Nope; it's all you.

     "I'M LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP TOO" Hahaha hahaha. Depending on the circumstances, if you're dumb enough to believe this one on face value, then you pretty much deserve what heartbreak or STD comes with it.

     People lie for many reasons, whether for their own benefit or to keep from offending someone; whatever the reason when the truth comes to light, it's hard to get that trust back, even if possible. If you're the person being lied to and you choose to work through it and rebuild that trust, then do so with a clean slate; don't bury the hatchet, leaving the handle exposed to be picked up and swung whenever it's convenient or beneficial. If you're unable to get past the lie, walk away with a clear heart and mind.


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth


November 8, 2018


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     While writing an article called, "Shades of White", I felt the need to separate a point that I feel is important and worthy to discuss on its own in more detail, instead of writing just a few lines about it.

     There are quite a few black women out there who believe black men choose white women because they aren't as mentally or morally strong as they are, lots of times, referring to them as, "Doormats". This statement/belief is just not true, as many black men as I've asked, no one has ever even hinted this being a reason why they've walked past a black woman and approached a white woman.

     There are independent, strong-willed, & self-sufficient women of all races & ethnicities; just as there are soft-spoken, more docile women in every race. Upbringing, environment, & family dynamics are more key factors; none of which makes one race stronger or weak than the other.

     First of all, I believe black women use excuses such as the DOORMAT theory, along with saying black men only like white women because they, "Suck Dick" or they, "Do freaky shit a sista wouldn't put up with", or the classic, "These niggas nowadays can't handle a strong black woman" The fact of the matter is these are just verbal defense mechanisms in response to being turned down, that's all... it's no different than when a man gets turned down by a woman, he refers to her as a stuck-up, snotty bitch.

     The environment doesn't necessarily refer to a place, but experiences, which go hand in hand with upbringing. Being in my mid-40's, my generation was the first major generation of the "Deadbeat dad", where the largest percentage of any other in our current history black men were fathering children and taking off, leaving black women to raise their children as single mothers.

     The black women of the present who were raised as children at that particular point were exposed to the hateful conversations their mothers had with these men, asking/sometimes begging for emotional/financial help and support; they sat on the floors of their bedrooms when they were supposed to be asleep, ears pressed against the door, listening to the angry, tearful, conversations mom had with her friends in person, or on the phone about how their father wasn't worth shit and didn't want anything to do with her or her siblings. In some cases, the children were directly told by their mothers about how fucked up their father was, how he wasn't doing a damn thing for them, etc., essentially laying the groundwork for the foundation they'll build their walls of over-independence, self-preservation, & pride.

     As these girls evolved into black women & had their own experiences, their mentality became more justified by the steady increase in men having children without a second thought about taking an interest in them, fueling their, "I don't need a man for shit" mentality, as well as their belief they're stronger, and have to outwardly project their, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" attitude".

     White girls at that time came from an entirely different environment; her parents were most likely married when she was born/raised & mom stayed home, tending to the home while dad went to work. Not to say that white men didn't walk out on their responsibilities, but at that time, white mothers were less likely to expose her children to the negative interaction between that man and herself, she didn't bad mouth him in front of her children, and she took the initiative to teach her children that just because their dad wasn't a good person, that didn't mean most men were shitbags.

     Having both parents present and active in their upbringing, white girls were more exposed to a completely different dynamic. Mom & dad discussed important decisions, they disagreed, but didn't argue or fight in front of the children; they didn’t talk shit in the phone or to their children themselves about why they were, "Mad at daddy" they learned from their mothers that dad worked hard and when he came home, it was mom’s job to make daddy happy and comfortable because he worked so hard to provide for the family.

     Fast-forward to the present; white women aren't weak, docile doormats; they just came from a completely different dynamic than black women; they've been raised to appreciate having a good man, instead of thinking they're a fucking, "Queen" who deserves to be compensated for having a shitty upbringing. Where black women have the, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" mentality, a white woman will follow the example from the dynamic between her mother and father and decide much more carefully what's worth bringing up, as well as the time and place. She'll recognize the man she's with (If he's a good man), that he's doing his best and show him support, even if he falls flat on his ass. She'll cook his favorite meals, she'll have no issues, sliding into that short, fitted, low-cut dress that a black woman would turn her nose up and scream about not wanting to look like a fucking hoe. If her man likes it, she'll suck his dick and swallow every drop... That doesn't make her a Doormat; that makes her a woman, raised in a different environment/dynamic where she was shown the example & learned to not only appreciate having a good fucking man but to show him the appreciation and support HE craves, instead of what a black woman WANTS to give her man.

     Instead of congregating with other black women, talking shit, berating, and referring negatively to a white woman about how weak she is, or how black men only want her because she's nasty or freaky, swallow some pride, pull that white woman aside and ask her what she did to get that good, decent, hard-working/motivated black man & what she does to keep him. Wipe the filthy, nasty, "Fuck Off'" from your face when you go out on the town, dial down the "Queen" mentality, and a good man will be more likely to approach you. Too many times have I seen black women turn their nose up at a black man, just trying to say hello, without so much as a smile, but will surely have a lot to say when she sees him with a white woman; if the belief is true that some black men choose white women because they suck dick or take it in the ass, take the hint & put your man's dick in your mouth, hopefully there won't be any room for you to bad mouth that white woman for doing what she does to keep her king in her castle!



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