Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

BLANK CHECK

Oct 13, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Revisiting the concept of Biomechanics vs. Biochemistry, we have to look at how men are more obvious and less concerned about being caught or noticed when checking out a woman. Don't for one second think or believe women don't check men out just as much; they're just better, faster, and more discreet about it. Men and women check each other out equally, but differently and for different reasons altogether. Men are definitely more obvious, hoping to catch her attention. To him, that's his first signal that he may be interested. Women check men out more for admiration purposes, but it can also be a signal to him as well.


     A woman may be too shy or believe a man should make the first move, but she'll make it known she wants him to make that first move, based on the way she looks at him and her body language. On the other hand, she can also use the exact same tactics to let him know he has absolutely no chance, so he shouldn't waste his time. It's not that she's rude; she' actually doing you a favor by keeping you from looking or feeling humiliated when she turns you down when you approach her.


     We all know the first things men check out are an ass, boobs, legs, then her face. Men check out women and decide his sexual attraction to her before much of anything else. Women work in reverse. She'll check out how good-looking he is, then his body, physique, his butt, and then she'll do the little-known, but regularly performed, "Crotch check." Most men are unaware that women do this because they're so quick about it; plus, they know men are too preoccupied staring at their chest or mouth to even notice. Some men aren't in the least bit worried or bothered if a woman even notices him looking down her top or dress while talking to her; for some reason, they actually believe it's a compliment. They really don't care if they get caught; some are even creepy as hell about it. Women normally don't want or choose to be so obvious, even if she's interested. Women check out a man's other areas on purpose, but the crotch check is most likely subconscious.


     It's highly unlikely she can actually see anything unless he's wearing sweats or shorts. Or maybe he's hanging out the bottom of his shorts at the gym. But they still look for whatever reason. It's not for sexual reasons either; a woman checks out a man to gauge his personal and possible emotional compatibility. She'll make a pre-judgment on his personality based on his looks, which will spark her interest in approaching him or giving him a chance if he happens to approach her.


     Men check out women for physical attraction; they check out her body first, then her face. Her personality runs farther down the line of importance than they want to admit or realize. As long as she's hot enough to get high-fives from his friends or sex for the night, his standards in her looks will diminish as the evening does on; by the end of the night, as long as she's decent enough to fuck, he's fine with that. Sex or winning the attention and interest in the hottest woman in the room is his main focus. For women, it's in reverse; she'll check a man out in an attempt to gauge his personality, what type of man he is, and if he appears worthy of an opportunity to get to know her or to put any interest in him. Men base sexual chemistry on looks; women will base attraction and mental/emotional chemistry. She'll believe she can tell if he's a good guy by the way he looks and interacts with the rest of the room. If he's on the hunt as soon as he walks in the door, she'll dismiss him. If he seems to be out to unwind or enjoy his evening, she'll be more intrigued to observe him for a while longer.


     Men will see/check out a woman and go for her ASAP; he knows at least 30%-60% of all the other men in the room are also checking her out, planning their opening move. It becomes a race or extreme obstacle course-type event to get to her before anyone else. Women are more patient and far more observant of how he behaves and reacts to any other woman who does approach him. Even if by chance, he shows interest in someone else, how he interacts with her will not affect her interest in him, as long as it still seems like a "Good guy." A woman will observe and take her time approaching him or giving him a signal of interest.


     Sometimes men and women can and will check each other out and not even realize it. It's like a force of habit or subconscious action. Imagine being at the grocery store, and a man buys condoms. If the cashier's a female, she'll sneak a glance at his package, just because he's buying large-sized condoms. If he's male and the customer's a female, buying a bra with large cup size, he'll instinctively check out her tits. It's not sexual; it's just something that happens. Where people get their heads fucked up is when they mistake a friendly glance, a crotch check, or a simple, "Good morning" as something more than it is. A look or greeting doesn't automatically translate to a signal of interest; a greeting or a smile could be just that, and nothing more. Men, much more than women, will take such a simple gesture and turn it into something ridiculous and WAY off-key.


     Being patient and taking things as how they are can and will sometimes be a wakeup call for both men and women. They may realize they're attracted to something they never gave much thought to until that moment. They may have been exclusive to dating or showing interest in one particular race or ethnic group, but the right person could walk through the door and catch their eye. Size, body shape, height, weight, etc. Especially as people get older, they may have been burned over and over again by the same types of people for so long. After a while, they've started to notice and find themselves attracted to something totally outside their normal realm, especially as they get older and more mature.


     People will make slight changes to what they're attracted to as they get older. Reality will set in, and the things that were important to us when we were younger will seem not only out of reach but downright silly and no longer reasonable. A middle-aged older woman will still check out younger men, but for the most part, she knows a 25-year-old man isn't interested in a serious relationship with a 50-year-old woman unless it's for sex or money. Men will check out a much younger woman and honestly believe she's flattered by his creepy looks. He'll be convinced she wants nothing more than to be his woman. 


     Reality sets in for women much faster than men; they recognize their boundaries and capabilities far sooner. They'll adjust their expectations, interests, and approaches to fit each man they check out or interact with. Men are too entitled to think they may be the reason why they aren't getting the attention they feel they deserve.


     How we check each other out is actually funny if we pay attention to it. For women, it's a process of elimination to where they sit back and allow men to eliminate themselves by their own actions. For men, it's a race against time, age, opportunity, luck, and every other swinging dick in the room.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

TRADITIONAL INDEPENDENCE

Sept 29, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     Tradition versus independence. This is a recipe that can only end in chaos. Not necessarily right from the beginning, but the warm flow of tradition will eventually meet the cooler, spiraling flow of independence, and that's how tornadoes are formed — one of the natures' most damaging and devastating disasters.


     The down and dirty truth; women, want a traditional man when it benefits her agenda. She wants him to drive, pay, and even give chase or pursue her and earn her trust and opportunity to get to know her before she even lifts a finger to return the effort. She thinks she deserves and will even demand he proves himself and his interest before she shows hers. A traditional man will temporarily support the independent nature while they get to know each other. After a while, he'll become more and more confused by the contradictions between her words and her actions/expectations. The mix of personalities may work for a short time and even graduate into a relationship, but rest assured, its course will run out very shorty.


     The independent woman will see his expectations as a way to control her and rob her of her identity and individuality. She'll accuse him of trying to change her into some back in the day house slave. She'll accuse him of wanting her, "Barefoot and pregnant" and totally dependent on him, even though he hasn't given her the slightest idea to think that way. A woman will fail to see his point of view or even consider meeting him halfway. A traditional man will get frustrated because the independent woman is unable or unwilling to take on a more submissive role in their relationship. He'll see her independence as disrespect and a direct attack to his masculinity. His traditional nature will cause him to insult her femininity and send him looking for someone on the side who'll satisfy his need to be the undisputed king of the castle.


     Women will want a man to support and encourage her independence without question with one hand and with the other, criticize his lack of chivalry if he looks to her to be all in with her independence. On a 1st date, she'll expect him to drive and ay, but won't give it a second thought if he disn't open her door, pull out her chair, or wait until she has her food before he begins to eat. A man will pretend to support and be in favor of her claims of independence, but will internally grow more and more impatient and irritated by her unwillingness to adapt a more traditonal female role. Her, "Alpha female" mentaloty will annoy the fuck out of him and eventually send him looking in other places for someone more campatible to his preferences.


     She'll claim he doesn't respect her; he'll say she's close-minded. She'll tell hime it's not the 1950's anymore. He'll tell her she'll never find a man because she's already the best man she'll ever meet. She'll call him a control freak and a bully; he'll accuse her of being hung up on how her ex treated her. She'll say he's afraid of or can't hand;e a strong woman; he'll tell her she doesn't konw what it means to be a lady. He'll want her to dress sexy; she'll see it as him wanting her to be seen as slutty. She'll ask him to hold her purse while she ties her shoe. He'll say no, but tie her shoe for her. He won't let her take the lead and pull him through a crowd or take the lead if they're dancing.


      There's nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date, but she won't. She think it's a man's place is to make the first move; to show his interest, and to earn her time. She'll ask him for HIS number, but will refuse to be the first to call. If he doesn't after a few days, she'll dismiss and delete him. Being traditional, a man will take the initiative and make the first call. He'll make a normal effort to show his interest, but will get frustrated by her entitlement. Her constant reminders of her independence, coupled with her daily expectation of having to earn her time or conversation, will annoy him, and he'll make her a side chick while he finds someone else.


     He has an issue with her independence. She has an issue with his expectations. The mere mention fo the word,"Submissive" will send her into a whirlwind,, about equal rights and how she's no man's slave or how she won't be controlled by ANY man. Her preaching about how she doesn't need a man for shit will be met with him using her independence as a shield. He'll, "Leave his wallet at home" and look for her to pay when they go out. He'll stop calling her all the time, and soon after, the relationship will fade to black. Because of their differences, they'll turn everything into an ERA debate. He'll see it his role to grill the steaks and her role to make the salad or sides. She'll feel like he trying to put her in her place. If she grills, he'll refuse to make the salad if he feels she's challenging him.


      Sex will be their downfall. They won't see eye to eye on expectations or boundaries. He'll want her to be more adventurous, bt she'll take it as him being disrespectful or trying to treat her like a whore or slut. She may be the more aggressive one and she he'll take it as emasculating, stepping out of plce, or a seige for powere in the relationship. She may use sex as a form of manipulation and he'll get bored because she refuses to try anything new.


      She'll use sex not as a punishment, but as a reward for good behavior; He'll get frustrated and find someone sexually submissive. She'll find a guy with absolutely nothing going for him except for good sex and she'll treat him like shit, because she knows he won't stand up for himself if fear of losing his meal ticket. When the traditional man gets his first taste of a submissive partner, he'll turn 180 degrees and his sexual Pandora's box will open and unleash all his supressed sexual fantasies on her. He'll bring that new mentality to the independent woman and fuck her every which way from Sunday, breaking her independence like a wild horse. Some women will make their own 180 degree turn, but by then, it'll be too late for her; his submissive will become his main girl, and the independent woman will become his side piece.


     Other than his own children, The traditional man will keep his values and ideas to himself. He'll train his son to be traditional and his daughter to demand respect, but to maintain a more feminine role. Women will not only preach independence to her family and friends, she'll do the samem to her co-workers. Especially if she's giving advice to anyone having relationship issues. She'll go so far as to preach empowerment at work, in her social groups, even to strangers who may not even have asked or wanted to hear what she had to say. The traditional man will allow other men to be who they are. Even though they may comment on his behavior under his breath or to his friends


     Independence versus tradition. Who's right? Who's wrong? Is there room for compromise? Nope, not even an inch. There's not point in even getting involved with this situation. It's waste of time and energy. Its only reward may be good sex for a while, but anything other than that is a powder keg, just waiting for the fuse to light.


~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

AFTER MARKET

Sept 22, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     You sound stupid when you talk shit about your ex after breaking up. Hell, it doesn't even have to be an ex; it could be the end of a friendship. You sound especially stupid when you're criticizing something you gave credit for when you were together. The only reason you're doing it now is that you're angry, hurt, or humiliated. You're not fooling anyone; you're just hung up on what happened that caused the end of the friendship or relationship; or you're the guilty party, trying to deflect the fact that YOU fucked up and now everyone knows you fucked up.


     You sound like a moron when you're talking shit about someone and how they were when you were together. When things were good, you couldn't stop praising their behaviors or quirks; now that you're not, the same things you gave them credit for is now a reason you couldn't stand them. Men will enjoy every single freak nasty thing his woman did and would do for him; all he had to do was ask. Some of that shit she did on her own, knowing it made him feel like a king as well as satisfied her fantasies. After breaking up, he'll insult her, calling her a nasty bitch or a slut. She wasn't a slut when you were together, so why now? Because all that, "Good-good" freak nasty shit she did for you, she's doing it for another man; possibly one who appreciates her WAY more than what you did.


     There's an old saying," Don't get pissed when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. You didn't appreciate what you had when you had it, and now someone else does. That's why you felt the need to yell out, "I taught that slut everything she knows!" I doubt it because you're the one talking shit, not her.

To praise someone for trying their best when you're together, then to turn around and chastize them after the end makes you an asshole; plain and simple. Tracy always thought Mike's stance on being non-violent and walking away from a physical confrontation was mature and admirable when they were together. She praised him for walking away even if provoked. Now that they're not together he's was always a "Little bitch" who wouldn't or couldn't stand up for himself.


     A woman will tell her man he doesn't need to work out because she likes him, "Fluffy. After their break up, she'll call him lazy and complain that all he did was sit in front of the TV or play video games. She'll use that to justify why she left him for someone more fit. A man will tell his woman he thinks she's beautiful and still just as sexy as when they first met, even after the 30-pounds weight gain. But will call her "Fat" after the breakup. People will harp and complain about not wanting to go out; instead, staying in and enjoy being with each other, but after the breakup, she'll bitch that he never took her anywhere or he's going out every weekend, now that he's, "Single and looking to mingle."


     People will take the exact same things they admired about someone, and at the drop of a hat, use it as a crutch to talk shit about after a falling out, even in friendships. Jane's always the life of the party; everywhere she goes, guys are hitting or her; she can party like no one's business, and drink like a fish. After Becky finds out her boyfriend has a thing for Jane, Becky will talk so much shit about how much of a slut Jane is; and rest assured, sooner or later it's going to get back to Jane. Jimmy prefers having a healthy savings account, living moderately in case of a rainy day. His choice to not indulge in impulse shopping and habit of saving instead of spending was something Amanda found impressive in a man his age and high-income level. After the breakup, her first complaint was that he never had any fun or bought her anything.


     People act this way to rationalize the end of a friendship or relationship. They place blame or fault with the other person, instead of taking responsibility for what THEY may have done to cause the split. It's a deflection tactic; a way to make themselves appear to be an innocent victim. Why do people feel the need to make excuses or bad mouth someone because things didn't work out? Pride. Pride because your relationship failed. Fear of being humiliated because you were the cause of the split and you don't want to face it. Anger because you couldn't talk your way out of it. Revenge because you got hurt or you made yourself look stupid. The funny thing is no matter how much shit you talk about the other person, all you're doing is shortening the chances of reconciliation. If all you have left to say about someone is stupid shit, think about how stupid you sound when you're talking shit. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SOUL SURVIVOR

Sept 2, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Knowing and understanding the difference between "Soul food" and, "Slave food" has been a subject of debate and controversy for as long as I can remember. Slave food refers to what slaves had to live on in order to survive; after the slave owners were fed, the scraps of food that were left, thrown away, or the parts of the animal that were picked over. Soul food refers to food prepared in grease, lard, and animal fat. The slave owner kept healthier, more nutritional foods for themselves, making it impossible for slaves to eat healthily. What most people don't realize or want to admit is that the slaves prepared the food for the owners and even though they ate what was considered healthier food, it was still prepared as, "Soul food." It was deep-fried, saturated in animal fat, extremely high in cholesterol, and so on.


     Pig's feet. Pig ears. "Chitlins." These foods and style of cooking and eating were born from necessity and survival, not historical significance or tradition. For those who make it an issue of race, slaves were NOT exclusive to blacks, but anyone of any race or ethnicity who was viewed as being owned or indentured to or by another human being. If you were a slave, you were treated, and you ate as a slave, no matter your skin color.


     With the availability of the same types of food and nutritional options our ancestors were denied, why do we continue to consume so much of the same hazardous shit they were forced to eat out of survival? Tradition? Heritage? Why do we criticize those people who realize this food and the way it's prepared is killing us, slowly but surely?


     Black people believe we're destined to be overweight by design and being bigger is a sign of being healthy and able to afford to feed ourselves well. We were taught the same unhealthy eating habits our parents were taught by their parents. We believe we're more prone to a higher percentage of body mass than white people, which is why they float and make better swimmers, and we sink. This is an absolute lie! We are a larger people by nature and design, but that's not an excuse or does it justify how shitty we cook the garbage we eat. It doesn't excuse being overweight or the issues associated with how and what we choose to shove in our faces. Again, this isn't directed predominantly to blacks; we see the exact same issues within the Latino communities.


     There's a difference between thick and curvy versus overweight and obese. We fool ourselves and try to deceive others by using curvy to avoid admitting obesity. We'll use phrases like, "Big-boned" to rationalize how shitty we prepare food we see as, "Traditional" to our ethnicity; the slave food we continue to eat, but now we do it as a delicacy, not for survival. We may not be prone to being small or dainty, but we're also not meant to be as big as hell or unhealthy. Big black women aren't better cooks than small white women, nor do they deny their men food, just because he's not a bigger man.


     Food should fuel your body, not fill you up to where you have to unbutton your pants after eating. We make fun of eating so much crap food that it makes us sleepy or doesn't have the drive or desire to do anything but sleep or sit on our asses. You're tired and immobile because of the ridiculous strain you're putting on your body to digest all that horrible prepared garbage you just ate. There's absolutely no recognized medical condition known as, "The Itis."


     The food you eat isn't a matter of heritage or tradition. It doesn't make you who you are or what your background is. What you shove in your belly isn't a reflection of your ethnic pride or lack thereof. Food isn't limited to a specific race, skin color, or background. Its origin may have begun in a specific area, but it isn't yours to claim or assume ownership of. Black people will talk shit about another person for not wanting to poison themselves with unhealthy food or foods prepared in a shitty fashion. The fact of the matter would be in this modern time if we were still limited to, "Slave food," we'd be up in arms, trying to march, protest, and fight for the right for the same types of food everyone else had access to. Why are we still feeding on the same unhealthy survival food when better choices are available?


     In the lower-income communities, opportunity and access to more nutritional choices are limited, but that's when healthier preparation and an active lifestyle can be substituted to lower the health risks of an unhealthy diet. Planting yourself in front of the television after a big meal, instead of going for a short walk allows all the grease and fat you just consumed to settle into your system and wreak havoc on your body. Healthy hydration. Water isn't evil, regardless of what your children tell you; 3-4 heaving cups of extra sugar per pitcher of pre-sweetened juice powder or iced tea. Extra salt. Would you like some salad with your dressing? Fry less, bake more.


     It's hard to feed your family fruit juice when you're paying $5 per gallon when 2 liters of soda is only $.80. Fruit instead of cookies. Crackers instead of chips. Water instead of soda. We let our children tell us what they're going to eat and what you're going to prepare for them, instead of telling them what they're going to eat. Let them get hungry enough; they'll eat those carrot sticks and be thankful. Limit alcohol intake; two words, "Beer belly."


     Just because soul food is accepted as a cuisine, doesn't make it a healthy one; nor does it identify or correlate to a person's sense of history or tradition. Someone's disgust or reluctance to eat pig's feet or pig ears, "Chitlins" or deep-fried foods doesn't justify criticizing their, "Blackness" or accuse them of, "Forgetting where they come from." They know exactly where they come from; that's why they're not cooking or eating that shit, because they know where it's going. High blood pressure. Diabetes. High cholesterol. Hypertension. Heart disease. Heart attack and stroke. Take your pick.


     We want what we can't have; as long as it's available, we don't want it. If the time ever came where black/Latino people were told the only thing they were allowed to eat were unhealthy foods, cooked in bullshit, we'd take to the streets. Riots. Protests. Marches; you name it. We'd fight tooth and nail for the right to have access to the same foods, "White people" had access to. Funny how we don't want it because we CAN have it. We'd be up in arms about equality; we'd shout racism and bigotry. We'd fight tooth and nail for access to the same healthy foods we run from and pass by every time we go grocery shopping.


     The same thing happens in the Latin community. Along with those who don't speak Spanish, Latinos will criticize and condemn their own because they choose not to indulge in the unhealthy preparation and consumption of what's considered, "Traditional" Mexican food. Refried beans, cooked in pure fat and smothered in sour cream, covered with heavy cheeses. Deep or pan-fried tortillas. Meats soaked in grease and insanely spiced. Culturally, a smaller Mexican man's family will criticize his wife or significant other and accuse her of not being a good wife or woman; they see that man as not being fed properly, based on his size. "Mexican men are supposed to be big!"


      Slave food. Soul food. Survival vs. choice. Slave food was a necessity, a method of survival. Soul food is a choice; better quality and more nutritious, but prepared in a shitty way by our own free will. Slave food is a part of our history and heritage, but NOT a lifestyle to be continued under a shield of tradition and, "Blackness." It's not a foundation of our current culture, and it doesn't make anyone less worthy of their racial or ethnic identity. Don't criticize or confuse what was once our only option with availability and free will. Putting a negative label on someone's pride in their race or skin color just because they don't want to eat shit they know is unhealthy doesn't mean they've turned their back on their history; if we can't learn from the mistakes of our past, we're on track to repeat the same shit going forward into our future.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DATING SEASON

July 27, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Dating used to be so much easier back in the day; when the most pressing concerns and questions now seem so trivial. Where to go? What to wear? How, when, and where to ask, and if you have enough money? Making sure you could get the car for that night before your older brother or sister beat you to it. The concerns had shifted from wondering when and if it was okay to hold hands, put your arm around her waist, or go in for that first kiss. Now, it's about whether or not you're going to fuck tonight.


     Instead of just having a good time and enjoying each other's company, men are so focused on the endgame. Women are on high alert against every guy, thinking he's a player or has a hidden agenda. They'll set parameters and boundaries, sabotaging the date before it even starts or ends. Women have it set in their minds that no matter how well it goes, she doesn't kiss on the first date. Men will lose all interest in seeing her again if he doesn't receive a certain amount of physical or sexual contact. You think a movie's a bad idea for a first date because you can't talk or get to know each other. Here's a radical idea; instead of rushing into a first date, instead of texting back and forth, how about picking up the fucking phone and having an actual conversation? How about asking questions? How about showing interest during conversations, instead of just pretending to get to the first date or get to sex? That way, the idea of a movie doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Besides, you can always talk AFTER the movie, or the next day, or the day after that. Did that ever cross your mind? Most movies are only 90-105 minutes long.


     Coffee's fucking boring and can be taken as a hidden insult. When meeting from an online dating site, one of the most popular first suggestions is coffee. The reason being is that it puts a short time frame on how much time you spend with each other; plus it furnishes an easy escape at the first sign of incompatibility. The thought of one or both of you may be nervous and say or do something out of nervousness will instantly be dismissed as a red flag, turning your focus from allowing them to recover from an honest mistake to make a quick exit, which has now consumed your attention.


     Even if the date ends with an invitation to spend the night doesn't mean every date will end with sex; however, don't act shitty if the other person expects sex at the end of the next date. It's all about how you put yourself out there and how you communicate the type of person you are. Be honest about what you're looking for. She may NOT be the slut you think she is, just because she invited you to stay the night, and he's not the player you think he is because he accepted. The two of you may have had such intense physical chemistry that it was a natural result of your attraction to each other. Just take it for what it is/was and work it out from there.


What happened to just going out and having a good time? Why waste time to take someone out, just to sit there texting, checking sports scores, watching videos, updating social media, or just not talking? Granted, there's nothing wrong with a period of silence, especially if having a meal because no one wants to be sitting across from someone, trying to carry on a conversation with a mouthful of food. You don't need to take a picture of everything you're eating or video of who else is in the building and what they're doing.


     Why take someone out for an evening of live music or dancing, just to stare and check out other men or women, looking for someone that may be more your type? Just in case it's a slow night and there's nothing else biting? Why are you pointing out how cute or silly someone else looks dancing? Why are you so concerned with how goofy someone else looks doing whatever, instead of paying attention to the person you're out with? "People-watching,"? That's nothing more than sitting on your ass, watching others live their life and enjoy themselves.


     No one approaches anyone anymore unless supercharged by the fuel of alcohol or the goal of sex. Holding on to expecting a man to approach is unrealistic in this day and time. Online is the new norm. Is it because we've lost the ability to speak to someone like we have some sort of sense, without trying out a bunch of bullshit pick up lines, or working our, "Game"? Or is it easier for us to accept rejection when it's not facing to face? More people are giving out social media info, instead of that fly-by-night idea of exchanging phone numbers and actually using them. Picking up the phone and having an actual conversation is having a pet Centaur in your backyard that feeds on Ambrosia salad.


     Trying to date 3-4 people at once, thinking you don't want all your eggs in one basket; it doesn't give much time or opportunity to really spend with or get to know any of them on any deeper level past the basic shit.


     What happened to just having fun and enjoying a date? People stress themselves over making the right impression to either turn it into a relationship or getting ass at the end of the night. There shouldn't be any pressure to make a perfect or false impression, just to seem more desirable. If there's no spark or chemistry, so be it. If there IS chemistry, allow things to progress organically, don't push yourself or your date into moving too fast. Keep an open mind; don't just assume someone has an ulterior motive, but don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to change someone who has a dealbreaker you can't get past. If it doesn't work out, don't take it personally; every first date isn't going to lead to a love connection. Relax, it's just a date. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DEAD END

July 21, 2019

BY D.K. LION 

     Dealing with death is something we all have to face sooner or later. Not just our own, but the death of friends and family. Even the death of complete strangers. Mass shootings, acts of terrorism, death in combat, accidents, and so on. Death is one of only a small handful of undeniable guarantees in life, and none of them have the ability to affect us on such a large scale than the guarantee of death.


     While some see the birth of a new life as a time or reason to celebrate and rejoice, others see it as a time to mourn. The sad truth is that as soon as we're born, we begin to decay, we start dying. As morbid and insensitive as that may sound, it's true. Many cultures around the world share the same belief. Some see death as a bridge to something else, something better than the life we have on this earth, while others see it as nothing more than the end of individual biological function.


     Why the philosophical introduction? Because with so much death going on in the world we can't do a damn thing about, there's one aspect of death that can be influenced and possibly diverted; when someone decides to take their own life.


     No one wants to imagine that phone call or walking through the front door to find out someone close to us has not only passed on, but their lives were cut short by their own doing. One of the first questions people will ask after the initial shock would be, "Why?" Depression. Mental issues. Impulse. Cries for help. Trauma. Bullying. Drugs. Self-image. Unemployment/finances. Loneliness. Relationship/breakup. Terminal illness. Take your pick. The holidays are the worst. Thanksgiving and Christmas is the time when the highest number of suicides take place, especially in high-stress jobs like law enforcement, public service, and military. These jobs also carry some of the highest divorce rates in the country.


     While I understand the pain of loss and the initial shock of learning a friend of mine took his life, I couldn't help but to be pissed off. I realize when people decide that ending their lives may seem like their only recourse, I find it to be an excruciatingly shitty and selfish thing to do. No thought is given to the family and loved ones left behind. The friends of those loved ones having to deal with their grief and loss and dealing with the details of their death, the funeral arrangements, the pain of cleaning their room or home. The act of leaving someone to deal with the stages of grief and loss is such a fucked-up thing to do when all they had to do was ask for help.


     As most of us have been told or taught, dealing with death comes in stages.


- Shock and denial. Upon hearing the news, it's natural to deny the actual reality of loss. The initial shock provides a shield against being over-emotional and lashing out at the wrong people.


- Pain and guilt. It's important to experience the pain of loss without using negative coping tools, like alcohol or drugs. Don't avoid feeling pain by burying yourself in work or other things that may take away from dealing. Guilt from feeling you could've done something to prevent the tragedy. There also may be guilt from not saying I love you, etc.


- Anger and bargaining. Lashing out or blaming others. Bargaining with God to bring them back in exchange for changes in your own habits and behavior.


- Depression and reflection. No one can tell you how to grieve; no one can tell you how long it should take to heal or get over your individual sense of loss. Realize your level of loss. People isolate themselves to reflect on a life spent with loved ones.


- The recovery Phase. This is where things start to calm down, and the road to returning to normal begins. Depression starts to fade.


- Rebuilding. Your comfort and ability to function without your loved one returns.


- Acceptance and hope. The final stage. You've accepted the loss. You've dealt with the other stages, and you think of them without pain or sadness. Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean happiness.


     Why would you put somebody else through all that? Why would anyone be so selfish as to wish that type of suffering and grief to their loved ones? You'd be making others feel the exact same way you feel, the difference being they don't need to escape in the same manner as you. It's not only selfish, but it ruins the memory of the deceased. Imagine the emotional toll it would take on someone after realizing they love you for the person you are/were but hate you for what you put them through. Think about how shitty they'll feel carrying that along with the other emotions experienced with your death.


     The reason I outlined the stages of death was hopefully to alert someone to what they leave behind when they CHOOSE to end their life. It may not mean much to them, but hopefully knowing the impact they leave behind may either convince them to seek help or realize there are people who care about them, who would grieve over them — understanding what a self-initiated premature death would do to everyone who stands at their funeral, watching that casket lower into the ground, wondering what they could've done to prevent this tragedy.


     Keeping in mind that a large number of suicides that result in actual death are accidents. The truth is that many suicides are more attempts than intentional acts; cries for attention or for help gone horribly wrong. Not to say there aren't people in the world who sincerely want to end their life, depending on their reason. When someone has decided there's no other option; death seems like the perfect solution. It's not because they WANT to die, it's because, in their mind, there's nothing else for them, nowhere to go, no one to turn to. It doesn't matter if a person has 20 friends, loving families they can turn to. The thought of being alone is so strong; they believe none of them could possibly understand how they feel.


     How do I know this? Because I've been there. I've thought about it, more than once. I've held a gun to my head. I've had pills in my hand, I've contemplated the sharp 90-degree turn that flips the car, or swerving into oncoming traffic. I've asked myself, "Who would care? Who would even miss me?" I've personally been so low I didn't think there was any other recourse than to end my own life. Did I actually WANT to die? I can't answer that; I don't know. Did I care or even give thought to what or who I'd be leaving behind? No. I never gave any concern to those who'd have to pick up the pieces and not only deal with my death but the decision to die by my own hands.


     I wanted to end my life because I was in a place I couldn't seem to crawl my way out of. I allowed myself to be influenced into think I wasn't worth having anyone in my life. I had no job, no money, no car, and with one foot from being homeless. I wanted to end my life because the decisions I made in my past finally caught up to me, and dropped like a hammer. Later in life, I'd found myself in the same boat again, this time with a series of illnesses that caused me to be unemployed again and even lower than before.


     How does one spot the warning signs someone's contemplating suicide? They come out and talk about it. They have increased drug or alcohol use. Online searches for ways to do it. They begin isolating themselves from friends, family, social groups, etc. They sleep too much or not enough. They may blurt out words of affection or say, "I love you" out of the blue. They begin saying their goodbyes and giving away prized or meaningful possessions. Aggression. Irritability. Easily ashamed or humiliated.


     First of all, EVERY sign should be taken seriously. Second, If you find out someone you know has those thoughts, don't TELL them to get help, TAKE them to get help. It's not your job to criticize or preach. If you don't know where to go, find the nearest church, police officer, firefighter, teacher, counselor, stranger, mail-carrier, or even the guy is pushing carts at the grocery store. SOMEONE will get you to the right people. Just because you're having these thoughts don't make you, "Crazy" You're just in a place in your life where you may need to be reminded you're worth having around and your presence will be missed.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

OPENING DAY

July 14, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

     Your sex is good, but lately, the desire to take it to the next level has been a source of curiosity for some time. The problem is she was raised to believe anything outside of what's thought of as, "Traditional/Normal" made her a dirty slut. He doesn't want to do or say the wrong thing and get himself in hot water. There's nothing wrong with wanting to add a little something extra to your sex life. Whether you're single or in a relationship, the first thing you need to do is understand that the choices you make when it comes to how and what you want sexually should be respected and honored. Be honest with yourself and your partner if you have one.


     As I've preached over and over and over again, communication is key; especially when trying to introduce a new dynamic into your sex life. Just because one person wants to add more fuel to the fire, doesn't necessarily mean the flame was going out initially; they may want to use more accelerant and boost the flame. Or maybe throw some Applewood or Mesquite chips in with the charcoal.


     When bringing this subject to your partner, understand that no matter what you say or how you say it, there's a chance they're going to think you're unhappy or unsatisfied with your sex life. Encourage them and re-affirm that's not the case. Also, in this day of technology, this is absolutely NOT the type of conversation to be had via text message. This is an in-person subject matter and should be taken seriously.


     People are nervous or awkward about bringing this up to their partner for a few reasons. Maybe they just don't know how to bring it up. They're worried it'll be taken the wrong way. They may know right off the bat their partner isn't going to want to have the conversation, and that's the wrong attitude to have.


     Men typically believe if his lady has ideas on how to take their sex to that next level, he'll resist; he'll assume what he's doing is and should be good enough so he'll shut it down without listening. Or he'll half-listen, just to appease her. If HE brings it to her, she'll assume he's been unfaithful and has tried things with someone else and wants to do them with her now. Drawbacks? She could only be going through with what you come up with to keep you happy. He will assume you're more experienced than you may have let on initially; for some men, that may be an issue.


     When discussing how to add that extra something to your sex life, there are few things to remember. Start slow and simple; don't break out a full-page apiece and drop the hammer all in one shot. Overwhelming each other can throw a wrench in the intent before it even gets started. Keep it realistic. Don't ask for shit you KNOW your partner won't go for. A large percentage of men will just assume spicing up their sex life will include a threesome, and that's one of the first things that'll be on his list. Leave the strap-ons, plugs, toys, handcuffs, and props for the improv theater; this is about you and your partner. Expect resistance. Embarrassment and discomfort will be two very formidable obstacles that must be met head-on and dealt with for this venture to be successful. And above all, keep it 1000% honest!


Start off simple:


- Role-Playing. Pretend you don't know each other and try to convince her to go back to your place with you. Act like you're in town on business and it won't hurt for him to mess around on his make-believe wife or girlfriend at home.


- Light, playful touching. It doesn't mean, go straight for the goodies; but it also isn't limited to just hugging, kissing, etc. Explore each other and find the places that turn you on that you could do in plain sight; such as the back of her neck, scratching his back or massaging her calves. It shows you both you're more than just sexual parts to one another.


- Talking, "Dirty." This may take some preparation. If you have issues using certain words, try writing them down, saying in front of the mirror, or to yourself in private. Another alternative to talking dirty is texting your intent and desires.


- Affirmation. I don't care what a man says to you; he WANTS to hear how big he is (As long as it's true). A woman wants to know she can satisfy her man. Affirmation keeps the other person confident in their ability to please and from assuming the conversation about adding to the bedroom is about keeping it fresh, not because it's gone stale.


- Go shopping together for something sexy to wear for that special night out on the town. Nothing will get a man turned up on his lady quicker and easier than showing off her figure for him. Make sure she's comfortable wearing it though; again, it's not just about you.


- Try adding 1 or 2 new positions regularly. Keep in mind; every position isn't going to work for everyone. Don't get discouraged if this happens. Don't try to fold your woman up like a fucking pretzel or spread her legs open wider than an autopsy. Don't lean back so far; you're about to snap his shit off at the base. Remember, keep it simple and build your arsenal of positions gradually.


- There's nothing wrong with watching porn together or doing online research.


- The fantasy bowl. Write down things you'd like to try on slips of paper and put them in a jar. Take turns pulling one fantasy a week each and goes for it.


- Hop in the shower together. Classic, but still effective.


- For one night, forget intercourse altogether and just go monkey-fucking wild on foreplay. This will only work when you BOTH agree to not have sex, NO MATTER WHAT! This will build anticipation to a point where you both are just going nuts for each other! Plus, it gives you both another opportunity to explore and experience each other on a deeper level, you may not have even touched on, no matter how long you've been together. It may sound crazy as hell, but trust me, it's the shit!


- Take it outside the bedroom. When you're leaving dinner, before you get in, push her up against the car and kiss the fuck out of her. Try having sex in the car while parked in the garage, on an air mattress in the backyard, or on the couch. Hop in the shower, or even mutual oral sex in a parking lot at night after a movie. Try playing with each other if you can discreetly make it happen in public.


- Keep as much of your clothing on as possible. It gives sex that Dirty/Primal feeling. There's something hot and animalistic about reaching up, tearing her panties off or moving them to the side, bending her over and dishing up a hot, party-size serving of dick. Yes, sometimes there actually is such a thing as being, "Too naked."


- Make a playlist. Not only does it add something new to the experience, but it'll actually help sex last longer. You can take your time; slow the tempo and your stroke way down, relax, and focus on the music, instead of trying to not blow your load too soon.


- Go out and go commando.


- Learn to miss each other. Spend time apart. Encourage regular girl's/guy's night out. They'll appreciate seeing you when you get home.


- Save the flannel for when the heater goes out or for when you're sick. Not to say you can't be comfortable, but lingerie isn't always the answer. Go for something more simple, but still just as sexy. A strategically tight-fitted tank top with just the right amount of cleavage and room for a bounce, and a pair of thin, boy-shorts or boxers will turn a guy on like a fucking light switch!


- Share the initiative; don't leave it up to one person to do the lion's share of getting something started. After a while, don't be surprised if it starts to dwindle. Both partners need to feel desired and wanted.


- With work, children, and other responsibilities sometimes it's more convenient to wait until bedtime to have sex, but there are also times and opportunities on the weekends, holidays, days off, etc. where you can sneak off for some fun during the day. Sex isn't a nocturnal activity unless you're fucking a vampire.


- Something as easy as wearing cologne or perfume could make all the difference. Also, put on some actual lipstick now and then. Lip gloss and lip balm are NOT equal alternatives; they're completely different!!!


- Don't be afraid or embarrassed by PDA. If you're not into it and your partner needs it, rest assured, you're in for a short-term relationship.


     Keeping in mind these suggestions are NOT intended to aid in the resurrection of a failing relationship, nor are they for re-vitalizing a dead/dying sex life. The intent is for individuals or couples who have a healthy relationship and sexual interaction, looking to keep it that way. Understanding what YOU need in order to better interact with your partner sexually is just as important as being able to meet THEIR needs also. Remember; communication, honesty, taking things slow, accepting criticism and direction from each other, and patience is key. Don't get frustrated if one of you doesn't feel comfortable right away with going to that next level as quickly as you; the fact they are willing to enjoy the experience with you says a lot. Keep it simple, realistic, and respectful and the rewards will pay for itself way into the future. Good luck.  


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ACCESS DENIED

July 7, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     Sex may not be the most essential aspect of a relationship, but it's a pretty damn pivotal one. Dry spells are a part of every relationship; not every couple is in the mood at the same time, all the time and as we get older and become more comfortable with one other, they're expected from time to time. There's no reason to think there's anything's wrong if you and your partner haven't had sex in a week. Once you've hit that two weeks to one month mark, then there's the time when you need to sit down and ask, "What the fuck?" The truth is the longer you go without it, the more awkward that first time back will be. One or both of will ask yourself what was it that made you go so long without, and you'll start to over-analyze the situation.


     Medical reasons. There's a laundry list of medical issues that result in loss of sex drive between two people, too many to get into. Stress. Depression. Age. Inability to perform. An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy could be a reason, as well. Perhaps one person was involved in an accident that affected their ability to engage in sexual activity. Or something worse, like a sexual assault, could definitely halt or strain a physical relationship. These are uncontrollable reasons to where life just happens. It's a shitty roll of the dice. There's nothing that can be done about those situations; they are what they are.


     Excluding those, there's a shitload of reasons couples stop having sex. Both men and women contribute equally to their loss of spark, while others are specific to each partner. As a team, couples allow their bullshit to spill from other sources into the bedroom. They argue about other shit, and they go to bed mad at each other. When a couple has been together for a while, the chances of falling into a routine is extremely high.


     They are waiting until the kids go to bed. Light kissing and touching, maybe a little dirty talk; the same dirty talk they've been using for the entire length of their relationship. She gives him head; she rubs her until she's wet. She climbs on top and rides him for a few minutes before he turns her over and takes her from behind. The finale consists of him being on top, humping like a teenage rabbit, right out of prison until he blows his load inside her.


     Like a perfectly rehearsed production, the act of sex has gotten as predictable as the evening TV lineup and has become monotonous and boring. There's no deviation. Neither of them wants to try anything new or exciting. Sex feels more like just something to do, instead of something to experience. The romance, sensuality, and intimacy are gone. They just don't turn each other on anymore. Stresses and deadlines at work may affect sex drive or frequency. Issues at home. Bills. The car needs repair. The laundry's piling up. One of the kids needs braces. He is running them back and forth from one afterschool activity to the next. Dad has his fantasy football league, and mom has her TV binge-watching. They're so busy being parents; they don't take the time to be a married couple. They don't go out together as a man and a woman; everything's a FAMILY outing. Sex feels more like work or obligation than something to enjoy. They've reached a point to where sex isn't as important as it used to be for one or even both of them. Neither of them makes the other feel appreciated, sexy, or desired.


     Something as simple as personal hygiene could throw a wrench into a well-thought-out plan for a night of sex. One or both partners may be turned off by the amount of hair the other has in their private areas. Men won't trim or groom because they feel it takes away from his masculinity, his manhood. Women won't shave because they say it makes them feel like a little girl again. The idea or thought of going down on their partner and possibly tasting residual urine doesn't appeal to either of them. Body odor. Bad breath. She may HATE his new, big, bushy, un-kept beard. He may be absolutely turned off by her new, "Super-short" haircut. His toenails shred the sheets. She only waxes her mustache once a month now, instead of every week like she used to. With age comes maturity. With maturity comes an evolution in priorities. Sometimes, those priorities get redundant, and sex becomes a backburner activity.


     Sex diminishes because he only wants to and knows how to fuck; he doesn't understand or doesn't care about the difference between fucking, having sex, or making love. He only interested in getting his dick sucked, with no thought of reciprocity. He's only interested in getting off. It's hard for her to enjoy herself because he cums too quick and he's done as soon as he gets his. He doesn't realize the value or purpose of foreplay. For non-medical reasons, he can't get or stay hard for her, but when it comes to strippers or porn, he's just fine. He spends too much time and money at the strip club. He turns her down a lot. He jacks off more than he wants to be with her. In HIS mind, he can get off, without the foreplay, hugging, and cuddling or interaction before and after. HE can get his nut off during the commercial break and make it back in time to finish watching the game. He wants anal. He's no longer attracted to her and wants it from certain positions where he doesn't have to look at her. He wants it the way HE wants it, and he'll get shitty or shut down if he doesn't get it. He only wants it when he's drunk or high. She's caught him watching TV.


     HIS complaints? "She takes too long to get wet" What men don't understand is they may able to get hard and be ready at the drop of a hat, but the arousal process for a woman takes much longer; it can take a woman up 10 minutes to get wet, depending on what and how she's being stimulated. Men expect women to be ready when they are and get butt-fucking hurt when it takes her longer, accusing her of not being into it. He'll use that to avoid having sex altogether. That's why foreplay is more important to women than men. He'll turn her NEED for foreplay into a complaint.


     On the flip side, some men feel that women can get, "Too wet." What the fuck does THAT mean? I'd personally take that as a compliment. Another thing men complain about is when a woman orgasms, she squirts. Again, that should be a compliment. Sure you have to change your linens and wash your blankets the next day, but that's also why there's such thing as vinyl mattress covers, or put a fucking towel or two underneath you. She knows she squirts, don't make her feel like it's something to be ashamed of.


     She's too loud. She can't suck dick. That's because you never want to eat her pussy, so she purposely does a shitty job at it to keep you from wanting it. If by the rare possibility that she IS bad at it, there's a polite way to address and help her get better; just don't be a dick about it. She's put on too much weight. She wants it too much. Again, that should be taken as a compliment, asshole.


     Women will use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment for pissing her off, which is a shitty fucking thing to do. Sex isn't a bargaining tool or casino chip. A lot of women believe they can control a relationship because she controls the pussy. If you're a woman and you've ever thought that, you're seriously fucked up, and you deserve to get cheated on or dropped on your ass. That shit isn't cute, funny, or productive. It's just plain fucked up. Sometimes women won't initiate because she's learned to accept being turned down.


     On the other hand, there are women who believe a man should initiate most of the time. That's bullshit. Luckily, some men just want to get him and be done, but for those who actually enjoy sex, they don't ALWAYS want to be the one initiating; sooner or later, he's going to start thinking you could care less if you have sex or not. That's the type of thinking that gets him seeking advice from other women on how he can get you to initiate more, and the last thing a woman should want is her man talking to another woman about the issues he's having in bed.


     She emasculates him in public. Cutting him off when he talks — speaking for him. Taking more of a masculine, "Breadwinner" role in the relationship will make a man feel like shit. Trying to be dominant in the bedroom all the time will definitely keep a man from wanting to fuck. Allow a man to be a man, especially when you have a good, decent man. Otherwise, she'll lose that man to a woman who knows how to be a woman in a relationship.


     Shut the fuck up about your body. Apparently, if you're getting dick regularly, he likes what he sees when he looks at you. He doesn't care about your belly, thighs, underarms, or whatever else you complain about while you're tugging on your shirt to keep him from pulling it off while you're riding him. He doesn't want to keep hearing shit about what she hates about her body. She'll only have sex at night and will interrupt some good-ass foreplay or wait until he's rock-fucking hard, getting ready to pound that pussy only to ask him to stop and go turn off the light because she doesn't want him to see her body. WHAT THE FUCK? Shut your moment-ruining ass and take the dick.


     He hurries her. She tells her friends about how small he is or how he can't put it on her right. He always wants to be pleasured first, with the promise he'll return the favor, only to roll over and go to sleep right after he gets him or tells her to wait until halftime for her to get off because she takes too long to cum. She'll kiss around his dick like a planetary orbital path but won't suck his dick, and will lie to him and say she can ONLY cum if he eats her pussy. Porn has made him numb to the concept of actual sex; that being said, if it doesn't resemble the fantasy of the online scenario, he's not interested.


     People are quick to assume a man's the main reason why couples stop having sex; truthfully, BOTH partners have some of the same contributing traits when it comes to the fizzle in the bedroom. Of course, cheating is a HUGE reason why people stop having sex. No spark during the actual experience of sex can turn one or both people off. Personally, I'd lose interest in having sex with someone who's just lying there quietly, like a cold fucking fish with absolutely no expression whatsoever. No moaning. No compliments. No dirty talk; nothing remotely resembling a facial expression of pleasure or enjoyment. Step the fuck up, get nasty, try new things, open the lines of communication and figure out what the hell the issue is. Make each other comfortable enough to be able to express what they feel is the problem and what can be done to make sex enjoyable again. Be open to criticism and new ideas from BOTH sides. And above all, don't take shit personally and don't throw blame. Remember, it's about repairing a broken part of your relationship. Fix it.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

RUMOR FOR RENT

June 30, 2019

BY D.K. LION

     She's a trained assassin. Her target? Any other woman she views as a threat or competition. Someone she sees as being beneath her. Her enemy is any woman she shares no obligation or alliance with. Her camouflage is fake friendship, concern, and sincerity. Her main diversion tactic is support and understanding when her enemy needs it the most. Her weapon of choice? Gossip.


     Do men gossip? ABSOLUTELY! When the word gossip or rumor comes up, we assume it's the spread of negative information about someone else. We see women as the main culprits of spreading gossip and rumors, but the truth is men spread rumors and gossip just as much as women. Gossip is information somebody may spread that was entrusted to them or acquired through experience, interaction, or what we'd assume to be a credible outside source. And that information is spread without knowledge or permission. Both neutral or negative, Men and women gossip in different ways and for different reasons. Men gossip more as a joke or in the pursuit of sex, while women gossip for more damaging and sinister purposes.


     Men gossip by showing naked pictures or sexual text message they may have received from a woman who isn't their significant other to his buddies, seeking their adoration. I never understood why servicemembers overseas would show the photos and videos their wives or girlfriends would send them to all their pals. In the gym, men will criticize or comment on the routine or technique of another man's workout, along with the amount of weight he's lifting in comparison to what they believe he SHOULD be lifting. Men will also gawk at and eye-fuck any woman wearing the slightest, tightest workout gear and comment on how great her ass looks. A classic version of gossip is men referring to another man being, "whipped" by his woman. Just because she asks him to check in to make sure he's okay or thinks he should be home at a decent, respectable hour, men will call other men whipped if he chooses to go out with his lady than to hang out with the guys on Friday night.


     Another classic is when men talk shit when they see an obviously mismatched couple. She's 5'7", 125 lbs. of sexy as fuck and her man's 5'10", 160 lbs. of lanky, pink polo shirt-wearing anti-masculinity. Men will wonder how they got together. "He doesn't know what to do with all that; you know he ain't hitting that shit right." Men will question that other guys' manhood, without even knowing him, assuming he doesn't have the sexual ability to satisfy a woman he sees as too good for him, but just right for the gossip. Sexual remarks or comments about a woman's body and what he'd do to her if he had the chance is another form of male gossip. "She may be ugly as fuck, but she got a fat ass, I'd fuck her, but I'd have to do it doggy style in the dark!"


     Men gossip by making fun of another man if he happens to get beat in almost any competition with a female. Men will gossip and talk shit about a man who isn't good at or interested in sports. Not as much as women, but men will gossip out of jealousy. Car. Money. Clothes. The quantity or quality of women someone attracts. Flip it around, and a man will talk shit about how fucked up a guy's dressed. Men won't let their friends hang out with them if he looks fucked up. Women will tell another woman she looks great, just to make sure at least one person in their circle looks worse than they might.


     Men will talk shit to a woman about the guy she's seeing if he wants her. He'll tell her he's a player and to watch out for him. Most men have at least one friend with a woman the gossip wants. He'll comment on how hot she is. Men will brag and lie on their dick to other men for admiration. A man will gossip about who he fucked in the office. He'll brag to other guys about who's interested in him and sleeping with him. Men are open about who they want. He'll gossip about how she is in bed; the intricate details about their sexual encounter(s). In response, others will also brag about what they did with that same woman, all taking pride in conquering her sexually; what she likes, dislikes, and how good she was or wasn't.


     Women gossip out of boredom. For popularity; they want to be known as the woman who has all the juiciest gossip. Revenge against someone they feel wronged them in some way, personally or professionally. Competition. Hatred. Exclusion. Greed. Career advancement. Self-esteem. Attention. To gain alliances. Addiction to drama and negativity. Women spread rumors and gossip about a woman to a man they want who maybe with someone else. Jealousy. Acceptance into a specific social group. Misery and unhappiness in their own lives. The pursuit of pity. Women are way more harsh with their gossip. Patient, cold, and calculating when it comes to how and why they gossip and spread rumors.


     Women will spread gossip and rumors about someone who advances in their career. They'll celebrate another woman's success, then talk shit about how they fucked their way into their new position. They'll drink, dance and party with the best of them. Come Monday morning, everyone in the office knows just how much of a slut her friend is. The girl's weekend trip to Vegas? What happened in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas; it's on social media in the form of posts, pictures, and tweets. She'll turn around and call that same friend who just paid for the last round of drinks a slut. They'll smile to each other's faces and slash them deep into the side because they can't get the knife in their back fast enough.


     Women will gossip about a woman being a shitty mother and having spoiled, bad-ass, rotten kids. Women will criticize how their friends dress or wear their makeup. Women make fun of and gossip about each other's weight and how fucked up they look when they go out. Women gossip about how she's prettier than another woman she sees as inferior when she sees her with a man she believes should be with her instead. Not only will she comment to her friends about it, but she'll try to make it her plan to let that other man know he can do better than what/who he's with. Unattractive women gossip more and spread more gossip and rumors about attractive women than vice-versa.


      Women have no issue with talking shit about how unattractive one of her friends is. Men will criticize their friends' choice in the women they choose, based on who they believe that friend should be with. Women will smile to your face and drive a wooden stake through your spine as soon as you turn your back. Men will put another man's sexually transmitted disease history out in the open in order to fuck a woman his buddy's talking to. Women will gossip about how small a man's dick is and a man will spread how well a woman sucks dick or takes it from behind. For whatever reason, both men and women gossip and spread rumors among each other for a multitude of reasons, and in different ways. The only constants are it happens, it's never going to stop, and the worst thing a person can do is try to investigate or chase down a rumor.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SAME SONG

June 23, 2019

BY D.K. LION


     We all have a past. Our past defines, shapes, and molds us into who are now. Our past experiences, both good and bad, have a long-lasting effect on how we behave, the decisions we make, and how we navigate life, professionally, socially, personally, and romantically. It's almost impossible to live life without repetition. After all, it's the greatest teacher and how most of us learn.


     With that being said, I can't help but to point out and comment on people who expect their relationships to be full of all brand new shit. When in our teens and early 20's, the thought of being the first experience someone has is a realistic expectation. Being the best sex someone's ever had. Giving the best blow job or going down on your woman. Being the first to give someone an orgasm or the best orgasm they've ever had; those are goals that can still be achieved at a younger age. When you're in your mid-30's and above, it's time to put that shit aside and be realistic.


     When in a relationship, people will inquire about or become obsessed with how many times their partner has done something in their previous relationships. Who cares how many times a woman's been with more than one man at the same time? Why does it matter if a man's had a threesome in his past? People will freak the fuck out when they find out they're not the first. Who cares? It was before you met.


     It's unreasonable and downright ridiculous to get bent out of shape because you're not the first black man she's ever been with, or there was something from her past she enjoyed with someone else and wants to do it again. Refusing your partners' request because they've done it with someone else is not a good excuse. When in a relationship, people get offended and act shitty because you tell them the truth. Of course, we want to hear they've never done something before, but be realistic about your expectations. I don't' care who you are as people get older and experience more things in life the idea of being a first extends farther and farther out of reach. It shouldn't matter how many people they've had sex with. Who cares how many one-night stands they've had? Who cares if they've cheated in their past relationships? As long as they're not doing it now, none of that other shit should be your concern.


     Stop asking shit you really don't want the answer to, unless it's what you want to hear. Don't get pissed off when you find out someone has already tried or done something you brought them, hoping you'd be the first. Stop bringing up shit your partner didn't ask. Stop lying about shit you've done or didn't do to keep them from judging you or so you can fuck their head up as much as their answer fucked you up. The obsession with the past needs to stop. Neither of you is virgins & if they've been married or have kids, chances are pretty good they've done some shit during that time. If someone has had more sexual partners than you, chances are they've learned and done a thing or two. Like snakes and other reptiles, we grow within the confines of our enclosure and people who are more traveled or diverse will of course also be more experienced.


     Don't get fucked up in the head because they took you to their favorite restaurant or nightclub, and ask how many people they've been there within the past; you sound a fucking idiot. It's their favorite place, and they're sharing it with you. They're trying to introduce you to a side of themselves you may not have known existed or are trying to bring you into a part of their normal life. Your obsession with how many others they've taken to a specific place will stop them from wanting to let you in past a certain point in their personal lives.


     Stop bringing up shit from their past, or yours, unless it pertains to your present situation or relationship. If you know they used to be a player or a party girl, there's an even chance they've done some off-the-wall shit; you'll fuck yourself up, worrying about it. Trying to avoid or expecting someone not to bring something they liked from a previous relationship is selfish and fucking silly. Does that mean they can't bring a business idea or practice from a previous job to your company that'll save or makes you a shitload of money? Would you really care where the idea came from or how many other companies are doing it, or would you just shut the fuck up and reap the benefits?


     Just because you asked doesn't mean you deserve an answer. A person's past is theirs to share when they're comfortable and willing to share. What's told to you isn't and shouldn't be a subject of discussion between you or anyone else, even if you're seeking advice on how to deal with something you're having an issue with. Why's it so important to know how many people they've had sex with? Why's it such a big deal you're not the first? Why do you care if you're not the first black man or white woman they've been with? Why's it your business if your partner's done something they want to do again? It's not about the person from the past; it's about him/her and what they bring to the present relationship. So, you're NOT the first person they've had sex within a swimming pool or the ocean; so what? Does it really matter to you how many many men she's swallowed?


     The thing to remember is that practice makes perfect. Instead of being all twisted in the head about something they've done before in their past, be glad they've done it enough times to where they know what they're doing and don't suck at it. What happens when you find out that thing you REALLY like was actually something they've done with someone else? Are you going to make them stop, even though it curls your toes and blows your mind every time? I doubt it.


     Partial jealousy. Partial insecurity. They don't like the thought that someone may have done something better than they did it. At a certain age, we need to stop this, "I don't want you doing something with me that you did with someone else" shit. Imagination has its limits, and once you get to that point, it shouldn't concern you how many people your partner's been with and what they've done in the past. Certain details shouldn't matter to you, and it's actually none of your business; consider most of what's told to you as a gesture of respect and courtesy. The past is their past; stop dwelling in the past, or you'll have a lonely future. 


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DOUBLE DARE

June 16, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     The double standard. The pinnacle of shitty situations to be in, whether dating, married, or even just getting to know each other. No matter which situation two people are in, it doesn't make double standards any better or any worse than another. Although unproductive and potentially destructive on some catastrophic level, some double standards are understandable, based on circumstances that may have taken place. For example, someone who's been cheated on may require their partner to be more accountable for their actions or whereabouts than before they cheated. With the double standard comes contradictions within the dynamic of any relationship, again, no matter the level. What's good and acceptable versus what's expected not just by an individual but both parties can be just as toxic and damaging as a massive earthquake.


     On the one hand, people want to share themselves in a relationship and be part of something greater than their individual self. On the other, hanging on to who they were beforehand will happen naturally; some things will phase away as time goes by and the relationship matures. Others will drop anchor and remain steadfast during the course of the relationship. The truth? The double standard and the contradiction are both absolutely fucking ridiculous.


     Women will drive her modern-day, self-sufficient attitude and independence with a sledgehammer, but wants a man who's traditional when it benefits her in reference to him paying for everything. Pursuing, chasing, and initiating dates and interaction. Men want a woman who'll fuck him on the first night/first date and will get pissed if she doesn't. On the other hand, he won't consider her relationship material because she fucked him on the first date/first night, thinking she's a slut. Women want an ambitious, career-driven man, then complains he works too damn much. A man won't work or look for a better job but complain about always being broke or having nice things. Women want a big house, but bitch about cleaning it. Men want 3-4 kids but wants a "Mancave" to have somewhere to go to get away from them. Women will complain and bitch about her weight/figure, but won't do anything about it, or will verbally assault her man if she bought her a treadmill or gym membership.


Men will bitch about his job, co-workers, or his boss, but won't look for anything else. Women will meet a guy, exchange numbers, then ignore him if/when he calls. Men want/buy nice, expensive cars, then bitch about repairs/maintenance, gas or insurance. Women will complain about not finding or how they're no good men, but when they meet one, he's too good to be true. Men bitch about being broke, but he'll shit $200 for sneakers. She can't go to the club with her girlfriends because men are dirty as fuck, but it's okay for him to go with his friends. She can have multiple male friends, but he's fucking all his female friends. HIS phone's hidden or locked tighter than AREA 51, but HER phone better be 1000% accessible at ALL TIMES! He has a time frame to respond to calls/texts, but he has to understand she's working. She criticizes HIS weight and calls it joking, but she'll rip his balls off if he says one fucking word about hers!

She has to dress down when she goes out, but he goes out looking slicker than duck snot when he's with his friends. He doesn't think she should hang out at night with single women, but all his friends are single. She'll complain he wants to fuck all the time but will accuse him of fucking around if he's not in the mood. She'll point out every fucked up thing her ex did during their relationship, but will NEVER cop to her own shit. He'll complain that she doesn't trust him, but he's jealous as fuck about everything. In her mind, there's nothing wrong if she accepts a drink from another man, but she'll change the fucking locks on the door if he offers another woman one. Even though male strippers are more likely to have sex/sexual contact with female customers, she'll shit solid bricks if he goes to the strip club. They have to see every movie HE wants to see, but won't sit through ONE she wants to see. He'll put his friends before her at the drop of a hat, but she'd better be available day or night. When HE has a problem, it's a REAL issue, worthy of a congressional committee, when SHE has an issue, she's being dramatic. HIS want/need for sex is far more important than hers.


She'll yell/hit him, but will call the police if he pushes her off. It's okay for her to shut down when she's mad or upset, but he's acting like a spoiled child when he does the same. He won't cook, but will bitch about what she made.


Her flirting with her male co-workers is harmless and funny; if he does it, he's fucking her. When a man cheats, he's a fucking dog; when a woman cheats, it's because her man pushed her into it. She doesn't see anything wrong with keeping a close relationship with the kids/family of her ex, but he ain't shit if he does the same. If a man wants to keep his woman, he'd better eat that pussy, but she'll circumnavigate his dick with kisses, believing sucking his dick is fucking gross. A 280 lb. man will see a 175 lb. woman and will ignore her, calling her a, "Big bitch" thinking he deserves the 115 lb. blonde across the room. Women will bitch about a woman she can't fucking stand, but will hang out with every happy hour. Women verbally abuse and accuse her man of cheating, and will get pissed off if he actually does. Women will predominately date thugs, then bitch about it when they act like thugs. Men wash their hands when they leave the restroom, then grab the handle with their bare hand when they leave, transferring all the shit from the last person who didn't wash theirs.


Women will bitch about wanting a good man, but will put him the, "Friend zone" when she meets one. Men will want a good woman when it comes to wanting a relationship, but will bitch about her not fucking him right away. Men will meet a woman at the club then bitch about it when she wants to go.


The funny thing about double standards and contractions is the mindest or mentality behind them. It's always entertaining to hear the reasons people think the way they do when trying to explain or rationalize their contradictive philosophy, especially when they're aware of or admit their double standard exists. Wenever you're in the mood for a good laugh, ask your partner about them and how they arrive to their indiviual conclusions; just as long as you both have a sense of humor about it and can communicate on that level; otherwise, you'll be setting a full powder keg on fire.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

EX EDUCATION

June 9, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     What happens AFTER a relationship ends? What's a safe amount of time before pursuing another relationship? Should you avoid going to the same places you used to go with your partner? What about mutual friends? Should you keep in contact with his/her family? Should you try to be friends? Every breakup doesn't have to be the result of anything negative like cheating, abuse, or anything like that; it could be as simple as the realization that the two of you have grown apart or your goals/priorities have changed. It could be the result of a life change in one person that no longer meshes with the other, and the breakup is amicable. On the other hand, it could be something much more sinister and painful. Whatever the case may be, it's important to avoid certain mistakes people make after a breakup.


     Immediately following a breakup, it's not smart to still try to see or run into them intentionally. It's difficult to convince yourself to move on if you're constantly setting yourself up to be in the same place they are. Trying to be friends so soon afterward is also a no-no. Not to say it can never happen, but only after a certain amount of healing time. When it comes to, " Sex with the Ex" Understand while it can be just about sex for the man, more times than not, it's more emotional for the woman, which is a way to keep him around or coming back. Even if she TELLS him that's all it is, most of the time, that's complete BULLSHIT. A woman will not fuck her ex, just for dick; if that were the case, she'd fuck a guy she knows who only wants to fuck her without wanting a relationship. Men will try to fuck his ex out of his system by hooking up with other women.


     After a breakup, women will convince their friend to sign up for online dating sites while men will try to get their friend laid. Women will stalk their ex on social media, looking for proof he was unfaithful during their relationship. Men will take to the internet to trash his ex.


     Crossing paths with your ex when they're with their new partner can be just a plain down and dirty, shitty experience. It can go a multitude of ways, ranging from just walking by with absolutely no acknowledgment, to a friendly hello, to a fucked up situation. Depending on how long the breakup took place, as well as the reason for the breakup. Men are likely to show less emotion when seeing their ex with someone else, but they'll be more affected by it internally. Women are more likely to show their malcontent, even if just a subtle hint of jealousy, hatred, or a momentary loss of self-control.


     I don't agree with it, but I've done it; we all have. Called it quits, just to come back a few days later to try and make things work. It's not a good idea. "Taking a break" is a stupid fucking concept, and it's nothing more than a way for a woman to start getting over her man and a man's way of fucking someone else without feeling like he cheated. I believe women more than men will prematurely call off a relationship out of anger, hurt, or frustration. A few days will go by, allowing her to evaluate why she left, regret it, and want to get back together. Her self-preservation/pride will force her to wait until her ex contacts HER. Should you choose to ride this rollercoaster of stupid fucking things to do and reconcile after right breaking up, should you disclose what you did during the breakup? FUCK NO! Do they REALLY want to know the truth? They may say they do, and if you believe that, you deserve a five-finger throat punch for being so fucking stupid! It's not the noblest or honest thing to do, and I admit that, but I personally avoid, "What if I'm making a mistake by breaking up?" cycle by severing my emotional ties to my partner BEFORE doing it physically. That way, when I leave, I don't wonder if I'm doing the right thing.


     There's nothing wrong with maintaining mutual friends. Hopefully, they'll understand, respect, and support the time for healing necessary and will avoid having the two of you in the same place, at the same time, for an event or social gathering. As far as keeping in contact with or maintaining a relationship with their family, I personally have no opinion either way, UNTIL you begin a new relationship, then it becomes HORRIBLY disrespectful to your new partner. If they're okay with it and they understand, then there's nothing to say. If it does bother them, choosing the family of your ex over your new partner is a HUGE red flag for anyone and don't be surprised when they tell you it gives the impression you're still trying to hold on to the remnants of your old relationship. Especially for women, they'll develop an attachment to the children of her ex and think it's okay to continue that relationship. Again, as long as your new partner's okay with it, roll with it. If he's not, decide what's more important, your new guy or your ex's kids. Personally, I believe once the relationship is over, what's between his family and children should be over as well.


     Stop comparing your new partner to your old one. Stop blaming them or yourself for the breakup; it doesn't matter anymore. Wondering what went wrong or what you/they could've done to make things better is pointless. Cut out that negative self-image shit, blaming yourself or the other person, & keep the fuck away from their new partner. No matter what you feel, you have to say to them or your ex, all you're doing is making an ass of yourself. Mementos? Letters? Cards? That sweatshirt he gave you or those sneakers she bought last year? Toss that shit out. Don't become a hermit or a crazy-ass cat lady. Don't run back every time they reach out to you; SHE wants to keep you from moving on BEFORE she does, and HE still wants to fuck you until you get smart and walk away for good. Don't get bent or pissed off when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. A week. A month. A year. Sooner or later, an ex will ALWAYS remind you of why they're an EX!


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CHECK TEASE

May 19, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     When calling a woman a, "Tease," first understand and realize why you're calling her that. Is it because she spent the night, enjoying the free drinks you bought, feeding off the attention you paid, even though she told you she had a man or husband? You STILL decided to try your luck, despite the fact she told you she was just hanging out with her friends and wasn't looking to meet anyone? She's not a tease, she told you what she was about for the beginning, but your pride and ego wouldn't allow you to walk away. The competition and conquest became paramount and eclipsed your better judgment.


     Flirting and teasing can be both positive and negative. Flirting can be used to show or gauge someone's interest, but also because they want something from the person they're flirting with, as in a gift or favor. Teasing can be used to show playful sexual attraction, but also embarrass or humiliate someone; as in to make themselves feel attracted to someone else, other than their partner, or to boost their self-esteem. Although flirting and teasing are viewed as more of a female action, men are also just as guilty. In simplest terms, They are teasing and flirting with offering certain expectations with absolutely no intention of immediate follow-through, if any at all. Women tease on a more physical level, while men do it emotionally.


     Granted, they have dual purposes, flirting seems less negative and more playful, teasing is down right fucked up. Making a guy believe you're interested or sexually attracted to him just to make yourself feel bigger or a man making a woman feel like she's more than just a fuck is seriously a shitty thing to do all around, no matter how you slice it. It's a game; a stupid fucking childish game and the person being teased isn't even the main prize; bragging rights to the conquest is what they're REALLY after. A woman will take pleasure in pulling a man's attention away from another woman he's trying to get to know, or even draw his eyes away from his lady. A man celebrates his victory when he knows he can fuck the female he's been feeding lines to, or getting her to consider fucking around on her man, thinking he's a better choice.


     Teasing is wanting to humiliate and make fun of you. It's to make a person look and feel like an ass in order to supplement a deficiency in the teaser's self-confidence and self-esteem or ego. Flirting could be a form of teasing, but there's a line a flirt won't cross. If the person walks away feeling foolish, it was done less intentionally by a flirt than a tease.


     Friendliness can and will often be mistaken as flirting. A smile, an overly enthusiastic greeting, compliment, or comment about how someone' s losing weight or looks nice on a particular day can be taken out of context and misunderstood as flirting. Not clearing the line of the intent behind the behavior could set a person up to feel as if he/she was being teased. Sometimes, people are just being friendly; they're not flirting or teasing. Sometimes a smile and hello is just that.


     Here's the truth about teasing and flirting. Both can be playful and fucked up. They can be in-your-face obvious, or they can be subtle and discreet. As adults, we shouldn't have to resort to this game, no matter the intent. Do you truly think so little of yourself you have to make someone else feel small so you can feel better about yourself or to supplement the lack of attention you're getting from your partner? If so, you have some serious issues, and you should have your fucking head checked. If you think it's cute or endearing, check again. You're an adult, act like it. Instead of flirting, just be straight forward and let your thoughts and feeling be known; there are only two ways it can go, in your favor or not. Don't be so afraid of rejection.


     Another truth? Before calling someone a tease or flirt, realize and understand why you're assigning this label; it could be because of your own doing.


     A woman can meet a man and find him attractive and interesting. Their physical chemistry could be off the charts; so much so, her desire to show and express her attraction to him will sporadically eclipse her judgment and put her in a position to where her sensuality will take over and pull her from her normal character. She'll go back and forth with this, while kissing, touching, and allowing him to reciprocate. It's his turn to understand the position she's put him in and the future of her continued expression now entirely depends on him.


OPTION 1. He can go forward and allow her to express herself naturally and take things as they go organically and just enjoy the interaction as it is.


OPTION 2. Like most men, he'll assume they're going to have sex, based on her behavior thus far.


     Most men will go with option #2. He'll go too far and assume he's gonna fuck tonight and that'll be his expectation and focus going forward. After the night's over, he'll walk her to her car where they'll get a little hotter and heavier until she realizes he's trying to score right then and there. She'll politely put on the brakes, thank him for a good night and re-assure him she wants to see him again in the near future. As she's getting if her car, he's looking like, "WHAT THE FUCK?"


     Just because a woman's into you and there's an OBVIOUS sexual attraction, doesn't mean she's obligated fuck you! Just because she may get a little out of pocket and grind on you isn't a promise to fuck. Her rubbing on you and allowing you to touch her sensually isn't a physical contract, signed in a spermicidal lubricant that you're going to be getting some ass that night. So because she didn't go home with you that night, you call her a tease and say, "Fuck it," I'm not calling her ass, she's a tease." For all you know she WANTED to invite you back to her place, but she had to work early the next morning and stayed out far past her expectation because she was into you. She didn't want you to get the wrong idea about her if she gave it up on the first night. She probably went home, jumped in the cold shower, and played with herself until she had one of the biggest orgasms of her adult life. Maybe her apartment was messy after a long week, and she wanted to clean it before you came over. Whatever the reason was, the fact you couldn't fuck THAT night got you so pissed off; you shit yourself of a great night in the future. Good job, asshat!


     The reason more women don't show their physical or sensual interest is that we're fucking stupid. We're incapable of just enjoying what's going on right at that moment and taking things organically. More women would enjoy being expressive with their sexuality, but they can't because men are always focused on the second option; instead of taking it for what it is, they slam blinders on their heads like fucking racehorses and focus on nothing else but the finish line.


     On the other hand, men have it just as bad. He can't express HIS attraction to a woman he's met without HER thinking all he's trying to do is fuck. Just like his female counterpart, all he's trying to do is show his sensual interest in her. So many men have fucked it up for him in the past, even the slightest intimate contact will have her slamming on the brakes and pushing him off, thinking he's trying to get something started she's not ready to give into. True, more men go out, looking for sexual/physical interaction, but not all of them. Women harp about not being compared to what some other women do or did; it's about time to practice what's preached.


     Teasing and flirting. Is it worth it? Does it make people want or desire each other more? Does it add mystery and spice to a situation? Is it a turn on? An aphrodisiac? Or is it just a fucking game people play when they don't have the nerve to be a fucking adult. Approach someone like an adult, introduce yourself and say, "My name is _____, and I'd like to spend some time getting to know you, can I sit down?


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SURPRISE PARTY

May 5, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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      In the days of pop culture, things have taken a funky turn when it comes to how men and women interact with each other. We've come to a time where certain things that should be expected are so surprising to others. We may be past petticoats and curtsies, high tea and foxhunts, but there still are things men should do and be doing. These things should've been taught at an early age. Unfortunately, men are more absent in the home now than ever before. When we were growing up, we weren't exposed to certain habits and behaviors. Young boys are growing up now without this knowledge, and they won't have it to pass on to their children.


     There's nothing magical or unreasonable about any of the normal gestures or behaviors; most are just unselfish, common considerations and practices that should make sense to most men. The sad truth is men have decided not to adopt these practices, even when introduced to them; at least not unless they're getting something in return. It's both sad and ridiculous that things are so unfamiliar to women they have to point them out and voice their surprise, or they see them as habits to be recognized and praised. It's bullshit that actions such as opening a car door or pulling out a woman's chair are something for her to actually be impressed by. As men, we should fucking embarrassed and ashamed of ourselves that it's come to that.


     You can't put all the blame on men though. If women required more, men would step up or walk away. They have absolutely no reason to accept the task of being better or treating women better. Women have accepted what's being offered to them because they don't want to be alone. They're afraid to require more because they want that hot guy and he's not going to change his game just for her. If she can't either deal with it, he'll find someone else to settle for his scraps. Some women don't believe they deserve anything more. They look in the mirror and don't like what they see, so they don't think anyone else will either; they take what's offered to them. They don't know any better. Like young men, they were never taught; as young women, they've never been experienced to the smaller things, so how could they know what they're missing out on?


- OPENING THE DOOR. Regardless of it's your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, or someone you just met. No matter the capacity, no matter who's driving, open the fucking door! Even if you're both already in the car and you've reached your destination, get your ass out and open the door!


- PULLING OUT CHAIR. In addition, you DON'T SIT UNTIL SHE SITS FIRST.


- HOLD HER HAND. Don't be a dick and act like you're not together so that you check out that skank on the other side of the room.


- WALKING CLOSER TO THE STREET OR FLOW OF TRAFFIC. Considering there may be a size/strength difference between you and the woman you're with, do you think she'll be able to push you out of the way of oncoming traffic if the need arises? If you're walking in a parking lot, the two of you should be walking closer to, but not directly in the center of the aisle, so you can have both sides in plain view, watching for vehicles coming out of spaces.


- WALKING HER TO HER CAR. Just because the date didn't go as planned, or you're pissed because you aren't getting pussy is no reason to not walk a lady to her car. When you open her door, CHECK THE BACK SEAT before letting her get in.


- ASK HER TO LET YOU KNOW SHE ARRIVED HOME SAFELY.


- PUSHING THE SHOPPING CART IN THE PARKING LOT.


- LOADING THE GROCERIES INTO THE CAR. You're sitting in the car and your wife, sister, girlfriend, or mom is loading the groceries. Someone walks up and takes her at knifepoint to rob, hurt, or rape her. Or just the fact that you're standing there, hands in your pockets or texting, watching them load the damn groceries.


- PUT YOUR ARM ACROSS HER BODY to help avoid her possibly hitting the dashboard if you're driving and suddenly have to brake.


- GET OUT THE CAR AND PUMP THE GAS! I see guys all the time, sitting in the car, playing on their fucking phone or with the radio, while the woman pumps the gas. Especially young teenagers. Moms, this is YOUR responsibility to tell that little fucker to get out and pump the gas.


ACTUALLY, ASK FOR A DATE VIA PHONE CALL. Especially if it's a first date, one of the most inconsiderate and vaguely rude things to do is ask for a date by text.


- CHECK IN WITH HER LIFEGUARD. When you're on a date, Most women have a "Lifeguard" that one person she told where she was going and who she was going with or meeting. There's nothing wrong with asking her if she needs to check in.


- CALL OR TEXT IF YOU'RE RUNNING LATE. Don't just, "Get there as quick as you can."


- PULL OUT HER CHAIR.


- DON'T START EATING UNTIL SHE HAS HER FOOD TOO! That should be a no-brainer. Apparently not, because I have to mention it.


- CHEW WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CLOSED! Enough said!


- HELP WITH HER JACKET OR COAT.


- CALL OR TEXT, THANKING HER FOR A NICE TIME. Or 1st meeting if it applies; even if the night/date didn't go as planned.


- CHECK HER SHOES AGAINST THE TERRAIN. You don't want her to fall while walking, so be wary of walking through rocks, etc. if she's wearing heels.


- When at the gym, take the time to ASK A WOMAN IF SHE'S COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING BEHIND HER. Some guys in the gym are just ass-watching, eye-fucking perverts who enjoy working out behind women, to check out their ass through their barely see-through stretchy pants.


- DON'T TAKE CALLS, ANSWER UNIMPORTANT TEXTS, OR CHECK SPORTS SCORES. You're telling your date her company is less important than who's winning the game.


- When it comes to sex when you're finished. BRING HER A WASHCLOTH. You want to wash up; so why wouldn't she?


- INSIST ON PROTECTION! We realize primal attraction and chemistry may make this pretty hard, but try to remain vigilant and steadfast in this requirement. She'll thank and appreciate you for it. Keep condoms in your car. One night of fun could result in an 18-year responsibility or that gift that keeps on giving.


- ASK FOR/OFFER TO TAKE AN STD TEST. No DECENT woman will be offended by this. She'll appreciate the thought of you wanting to make sure the both of you are safe before starting a physical relationship.


- MAKE HER BED. While she's getting ready for work.


- You can't miss your lady and appreciate her being around if she's never away from you, so CALL HER FRIENDS TO TAKE HER OUT.


- REMEMBERING SPECIAL DATES. Not just anniversaries, but celebrate when you first met, first date, etc.


- SHOWING SENSUALITY AND INTIMACY WITHOUT BEING SEXUAL. You don't have to grope her to show her you're attracted you her physically.


- HANDMADE PRESENTS. Not just for holidays. "Just because" gifts are a winner every time.


- When you're out for the night, and you come across a woman you're interested in. ASK TO SIT DOWN AND JOIN HER. Instead of just doing it. If she's with her friends and one of them is out on the dance floor or in the bathroom; when she comes back, GET THE FUCK UP!


- INTRODUCE YOURSELF AND INCLUDE HER FRIENDS IN THE CONVERSATION. If you're out dancing, ASK HER FRIEND TO DANCE. Don't make her feel like an instant third wheel or speed bump.


- ASK MORE THAN JUST FILLER QUESTIONS. Favorite color? Lucky number? Food? Her Sign? Ask her some shit that actually shows your level of interest in getting to know her, instead of small talk to gauge how drunk she is or how probable having sex with her is.


- KEEP HER DRESS, SKIRT, OR TOP PULLED DOWN. Depending on what she's wearing (Dress, skirt, fitted top, etc.) It has the potential to ride up naturally.


- WALK HER TO BACK TO HER SEAT. After a dance, don't just run in the other direction because you didn't hit it off, or you're trying to catch up with the woman who was eye-fucking you while you were dancing.


- ASK HER/HER FRIENDS FOR 1 ON 1 TIME. Don't just try to segregate her from her friends right away or without letting them know what's going on. That's why interacting with them is also important; so they have a decent impression of you and would be more comfortable if the 2 of you went out to the patio to enjoy a drink and a quieter atmosphere for conversation.


- If you're walking to your car and someone approaches, especially someone asking for money, PUT YOURSELF BETWEEN THAT PERSON AND THAT WOMAN. Or STOP AND PUT HER BEHIND YOU.


- CORRECTING HER INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR. Men are so worried about running off pussy, letting a woman emasculate or humiliate you publicly makes a man look like a heavily powdered, fresh linen-scented, sun-dried bitch! Letting a woman approach you and pull you by your clothes to where she wants you to go. Or using her finger to motion you to come to her like you're a child. They think just because you're a man; EVERY man wants them pawing like they are male strippers.


     As grown men, we should be ashamed of ourselves that these habits are new and unheard of by women. It's even worse that they're so out of normal circulation, women find it necessary to recognize and point them out to those who actually practice them regularly. Not only point them out but to be so surprised and impressed by them, it becomes a source of conversation for her and her friends the next day. As husbands, fathers, brothers, and significant others you should feel like shit, knowing your sisters, and daughters have men who behave this way; because that's how YOU treat your wife; their mother.


     We'll spend hours upon hours a week, playing video games, helping our young men improve their ball-handling skills, passing or blocking game, or preparing them for wrestling tryouts, but not how to treat your wife, his sister, or his girlfriend. Mothers should feel just as bad for not teaching their daughters at a young age to require the basics from her brothers, husbands or any man in her life. I've written before about people being themselves & not changing, just to make someone happy, and I stand by that belief. If it isn't for you, it just isn't. And that's fine. Don't fake it, just be you.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ANTI-MATTER

April 28, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     They say the only stupid questions are the ones you don't ask; that's a lie. People ask stupid fucking questions all the fucking time. Not only do people ask questions that are just plain stupid, but they're also irrelevant to the situation at hand. People ask questions that don't even matter in the grand scheme of things. A man meets a woman in a bar and makes a move. She thanks him for his flattering approach and politely states she's involved. Instead of accepting her response and walking away, his next question is, "Where is he?" or, "Is he here?" What the fuck does THAT matter? She told you she's unavailable. It's absolutely none of your fucking business where he is, JACKASS!


     The risk and courage it takes to approach someone you don't know and try to initiate an interest or chemistry are understandable, but people have such a hard time accepting rejection, even if it's for a noble reason. "Are you having a good time tonight?" Your answer doesn't really matter. They could honestly give a fuck how your night has been until the time they walked up. The object of your interest could be married or in a relationship. You could be the wrong gender for their preference. They may not date someone of a different race or ethnicity. Hell, they may not be interested in someone of their own ethnicity. Whatever the reason is, it's THEIR decision. There's no obligation to rationalize or explain their reason for not being interested. Asking someone why you can't have their phone number or vice-versa is none of your fucking business; the reason doesn't matter. The answer was NO. Accept it and go away.


     If someone declines your offer for a drink, it's because they don't want to give you the wrong impression, they feel it's disrespectful to their significant other. Or they just may not drink. "If you don't drink, why are you at the club?" Because they like to dance, they like music, they're related to or friends with entertainment. They enjoy the atmosphere. Either way, again, it doesn't matter why they're there. Accept it and walk away. "Am I single?/Why am I single?" Do you REALLY care? Are you really interested in the truth? Or is it something you just ask out of habit? What do you REALLY expect to hear? Do they have a massive antibiotic-resistant strain of genital warts? Are they bat-shit crazy jealous and possessive? Do they have a legion's worth of multiple psychotic personalities? Or it could be as simple as they CHOOSE to be single. Whatever the reason, again, it doesn't matter. Accept it and go away.


     "How does this look on me?" Another stupid fucking question. You already know the answer; otherwise, you wouldn't have asked. "Do you think I'm fat? Do you think I need to start working out? Does the truth really matter to you? What would be your reaction if the answer suddenly turned to, "Yes babe, you need to work out, you've put on a few pounds; that's why we're not fucking like we used to." or, "That outfit makes your muffin-top stand out more than usual." I'm sure your man wants to hear the reason you don't suck his dick anymore is that your head and neck muscles aren't strong enough and can't support holding his nasty, sweaty gut on your forehead while you bob on his shit. He REALLY wants to know the reason you don't get on top and ride him anymore is that his belly pushes you farther and farther off his dick every time you rock back and forth, and he keeps popping out of you. Every man wants to hear how your lower back gets rubbed raw from his sweaty belly fat sliding back and forth across what used to be your tramp stamp.


     "Are you done eating that?" I fucking guess so, you greedy fuck. Just by asking, you already have it set in your mind you've finished your meal, you're still hungry, and now you've set your sights on my plate. Essentially, it doesn't matter if I was done or not; the decision was made for me by you.


     "Does this smell bad?" Whether SHE'S asking about her cooking or her pussy; HIS cooking or his balls, the initial response will pretty much be the same. "Get that shit out my face!" The question is whether or not they're brave enough to answer out loud or to themselves. Either way, the truth doesn't matter. The truth isn't even the goal. What the person WANTS to hear is the only important thing. Why the fuck would you shove a container of milk past it's the date in someone's face and ask them to smell if it's bad or not, especially since YOU wouldn't do it?" Be lucky they don't pour that shit all over your face and clothes with a big, fat, "OOPS!"


     At the gym, don't walk up, asking how many sets I have left on a piece of equipment. Does it really fucking matter? I could have 6, 3, or even just one left; I'm done when I'm done. Accept it and go away. "Asking somebody what they're, "On" in references to steroids or PED'S (Performance-Enhancing Drugs) is NOT a fucking compliment. Regardless, even if somebody WAS on anything, do you ACTUALLY think they'd tell you if they were? How much a person bench-presses is another anti-matter question


     When it comes to online dating, asking someone if they've had any luck or if they've met anyone worthwhile. If they had, why the fuck would they STILL be online, looking? Think before you ask, you sound like a fucking moron. Normally, people can tell if you're genuinely interested in getting to know them, or if you're just making small talk, pretending you're interested in a deeper scale. "Tell me something you don't do well at all you wish you were better at?" This is another stupid fucking question. What if HIS response is, "Controlling my anger or drinking/drug addiction"? What if HER answer was, "Sucking dick"? "Have you ever had a one-night stand?" That's a guy's way of determining his chances of fucking you on the first night/first date and a woman's way of determining if you're trying to fuck her on the first night/first date. The Truth is, it really doesn't matter because she's smarter than she was the last time that shit happened and you have to accept it. Or go away.


     "Why can't I meet someone like you" Every time I've ever been asked this question, it makes me want to give up my religion and slap the Carolina fuck out the person who asked that stupid shit. This is one of the absolute WORST insults someone can give another person. Loosely translated, "You're a great person, but you're either fat as fuck, ugly as fuck, boring as fuck, you probably CAN'T fuck, you're dumber than fuck, or just generally too fucked up for me to even consider fucking you for even a one-night!"


     Cordial stupid fucking questions are the best. They allow the largest opportunity for the smart ass in all of us to show ourselves. "What did you do this weekend?" My answer doesn't matter, and they honestly could care less. "How are you today?" Trust me; your answer doesn't matter to them in the least bit; they could care less about how you are. "My Hemorrhoids are flaring up something awful." "I've had Sulphur butt/Acid ass all fucking day and it fucking burns every time I take a shit. It physically burns to wipe my asshole when I'm done. "I forgot to put on deodorant this morning." "I had no clean underwear in my drawer, so I had to go through the hamper and pick out a pair that had the most elasticity left in the waistband and the lightest brown streak." Then I had to deal with the irritation of them being wet from spraying fabric refresher in them.


     Some things just don't matter; the reason's none of your business. Asking why someone may not be interested in you, want to get to know you, exchange numbers, etc. is irrelevant. The answer was NO. Asking someone if they're done using a particular item in a public setting is another stupid fucking gesture; they're done when they're done. If the answer is NO, the reason doesn't matter. Accept it and go away.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

SIN-SATIONAL

April 22, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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       Although religion is one of the few, "Off-limits" subjects on The Dark Truth, I've always been fascinated by the story of the "7" deadly sins and their specific punishments; Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Anger/Wrath, Envy, Pride.  I've often wondered if and how they would or could relate to popular culture. Could they be applied to modern times? Do we still exhibit these biblical traits and if so, how? What about the individual penance or punishments for each offense?


     LUST: Sexual desire. It can also refer to money, power or anything else seen as sinful.


     A modern example of someone guilty of LUST would be a PLAYER; someone who uses people just for sex or to quench an insatiable desire. Lust also leads to cheating in relationships and marriages. Lust for money, power, and respect can also explain and drive the behavior of drug dealers, pimps, gang members, and other criminals.


     Punishment for LUST, Covered In fire and brimstone. Its modern equivalent could be thought of an STD/STI. A symptom of both Syphilis and Gonorrhea is a burning sensation during urination.


     GLUTTONY: Indulgence or consumption of anything to the point of waste.


     A modern example. Hogging something to keep someone else from having it. Selfishness. Putting your impulses or interests ahead of the needy. Children are guilty of gluttony when they shove the last piece of cake in their mouths or cough/spit on food, to keep another sibling from having it. Adults display gluttony by consuming food or resources, to keep someone else from using it. Gluttony will cause a person to speed ahead of another driver on the freeway, to keep that person from being in front of them.


     Punishment for GLUTTONY: Force-fed rats, toads, and snakes. Its modern equivalent could be loosely related to the accumulation of so much wasted food; there's the attraction of mice, rats, and other vermin to your home. Depending on where you live, these vermin WILL eventually also attract snakes that feed on these vermin. Another possibility is going broke from trying to buy so much you don't need; a person could be forced into homelessness, living and eating out of the same garbage cans as rats, etc.


     GREED: The sin of desire. The pursuit of material possessions. Leads to theft and robbery, sometimes by means of violence.


     A modern example of GREED would be the classic pyramid scheme. Buying a brand new car you'd have to make payments on, instead of buying a slightly older car outright is another. Greed is five people who'll risk getting absolutely NOTHING to win $5 million dollars, instead of each person taking $1 million and going home. Greed is buying a home you can barely afford because you believe you deserve it.


     The punishment for GREED? To be boiled in oil. Is it a modern equivalent? In the pursuit of satisfying GREED, your bills and expenses take its toll on your income and you're forced into taking a second job, working the french fryer at the local fast-food joint. I do believe that's vegetable oil they use for those famous fries!


     SLOTH:  Laziness. Lack of motivation or drive. They are failing to do what a person SHOULD do.


     Modern equivalent. Refusing to be the "Good Samaritan", as in refusing to be a witness to an accident or crime. Dodging responsibilities. Men not taking care of their kids. Living on welfare when they clearly don't need it. Those guilty of SLOTH will take holiday food baskets, but pick them up in brand new luxury cars.


     Punishment for SLOTH is being thrown in a snake pit. Don't take financial responsibility for the kids you have. Get caught taking welfare illegally. You may find yourself in a modern pit called jail/prison, taking your bunkmate's, "Snake" where you don't want it!


     WRATH: Feelings of anger and rage.


    Modern equivalent? Hatred. Revenge. Impatience. Leads to murder. Also known as fury. Someone steps on your $200 sneakers and you want to fight. Someone bumped into you and didn't say excuse me. Your best friend slept with your spouse or significant other and you beat the shit out of them.


     Punishment for WRATH/RAGE is live dismemberment. Kill someone out of anger or rage, rest assured, you're going to be separated from your family & friends. Your freedom. Consider it an EMOTIONAL dismemberment. The act of murder or violence may end up in you ACTUAL dismemberment, depending on who your rage was directed against.


     ENVY: Desire to covet the status, abilities, traits and/or possessions of another. Jealousy. To deprive someone of what is theirs. Causes unhappiness and ungratefulness.


     Modern examples of ENVY. Jealousy over your neighbors' new car or home remodel. Anger over a co-workers job promotion or raise. Intentionally sabotaging someone's relationship to have them to yourself. Lying on someone to make them look bad in order to make yourself look good. Taking, wanting, and desiring your best friend's wife or husband. ENVY can lead to infidelity, robbery, and kidnapping.


     Punishment for ENVY is being placed in freezing water. Everyone who knows you already believes you've got, "Ice water in your veins" Burn enough bridges and you'll always be on your own, treading with your head barely above the water line; the fear of drowning always being a possibility. Mess around and cheat with the wrong person and you'll literally find yourself underwater, with cinderblocks tied to your ankles.


     PRIDE:  Incredible selfishness. Believing you're better, superior, or more important than anyone else. You take credit for the hard work of others. Insane self-image and refusing to admit or acknowledge limits, faults or mistakes. PRIDE to Rape. Also, known as Vanity.


     Modern examples of PRIDE are those people who take all the credit for a team effort. They can't ask for help. They don't make mistakes, and they have no faults or shortcomings. Everything that goes wrong is someone else's fault. Prideful men can't take NO for an answer and that could lead to RAPE. A prideful woman will jump behind the wheel of her car and drive home, "Buzzed" Prideful people believe fast-food workers deserve $15/hour.


     PRIDE punishment? Broken on the wheel. Alienate your coworkers by taking the credit for a team effort, and they'll leave you high and dry the next time you need their help if you can't admit your mistakes or faults. If you can't admit your faults or shortcomings, people will assume you can take on ANY project or task and when you can't, you'll see that big fucking wheel of failure roll right over your prideful ass. Not to mention, you rape someone and trust me when I tell you the inmates know what you're in for BEFORE you get to prison and they don't take kindly to rapists. They see that shit as that victim could've been their mom, sister, etc. and they WILL BREAK YOU!!


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

UNEQUAL GROUND

April 14, 2019

BY D.K. LION


     For 90% of people, it's extremely difficult to work with or interact with the same people regularly and not forge friendships during that time; such as with work, interests, and hobbies, etc. In the aspect of work, depending on the structure of your particular job, it's not uncommon to become friends with an immediate supervisor or someone of a higher level of responsibility or accountability than yourself. That remaining 10% or so avoid or refuse to subject themselves to that situation because they realize that at some point the line can and will get blurred or crossed between leadership and friendship and they know it can't and won't lead to anything but trouble. They prefer to keep business at work and friends at the door. The truth is that at some point, they're going to have to give one of their friends an assignment they may not agree with or want to do and will think just because they're friends, they can refuse the assignment, procrastinate, half-ass, or question why they were chosen, instead of someone else.


     The same things can go on at home when a parent gives in to the idea and treat their children as equals, instead of re-enforcing the child-parent dynamic. No one says a parent can't be friends with their children, but in these times, parents are FAR too concerned with being friends with their children. Being the, "Cool" mom or dad has left a HUGE hole in how children behave now, as opposed to how we were raised back in the day. I believe it's important for children and parents to be able to relate to one another, as well interact when things aren't going well, or they don't see eye to eye, without confrontation. Still, an unwavering level of respect must also be enforced and understood. While some parents don't believe a child should be afraid of their parents, their definition and understanding on which type of fear I'm referring to is one bor and cultivated through respect discipline.


     When discussing fear, I'm not talking about the type of fear that a child believes if he gets into trouble, his parents are to kick the shit of them, or chain them in the basement and let the rats have at them; but fear in relation to being punished within the confines of the offense. If I got smoking when I was a kid, my father would've made me smoke an ENTIRE carton until I threw up. If I were caught skipping school, he'd show up for every class and sit next to me, wearing the bummiest fucking thing he owned; and that was fucking humiliating.


     My dad and I were friends. We knew we could ask each other and talk to each other about anything and not feel weird or uncomfortable about it. It was an open dialogue in our house. We could go to a game together and have a great time; I could go to a party, knowing I was underage and drink and I could call him, and he'd come to pick me up. Of course, I'd hear about it the next day, along with a punishment that suited what I did, but it was deserved. Where things have gone wrong in this day and time is where parents have allowed the lines of parent vs. child to become so intertwined with being so fucking modern, that children see themselves as being equal to their parents, which is complete bullshit.


     How did we get here? Simple, Parents are so fucking focused on being cool. They don't want to deal with their kids after they get home from work, so they stop by the local fast food restaurant, drop $30-$40 on burgers, fries, and sodas. They shove that shit in their kids' faces and tell them to play video games. That's why your kids are fucking overweight because you'd rather sit YOUR fat ass on the couch and watch the game than to make sure they get some sort of regular exercise or eat healthily. Even if a home-cooked meal is prepared, everyone's sitting at the table with their fork in one hand, cellphone in the other, watching videos or texting. The family dynamic has gone to shit and replaced by technology.


     We got here because parents don't see anything wrong with their 15-16 year old staying out until after midnight or 1-2 am. These daughters are going out the house, dressed in fucking booty shorts or men's boxer shorts, rolled at the waist to make them even shorter. There's absolutely NO FUCKING REASON a 14-year-old should be wearing thong underwear or padded/push-up bras because you remember how shitty you felt when you were 14, you had no cleavage to show and boys made fun of you. These kids don't have jobs or money to pay for these things, so you're either giving them money, or your stupid ass is buying that shit for them, but will want to shotgun the first 25-year old you find out that's fucking your daughter, even when she admits she lied to him about how old she was.


     We're here because you allow your children to be online unsupervised and unchecked. Watching and sharing questionable shit; from your 10-year-old son watching porn to your 15-year-old daughter sharing nude photos of herself to her boyfriend; little does she know he's shared them with everyone on the football team. Now you have pictures of your daughter in her underwear or naked out in cyberspace. Your kids are being stalked by online predators, pretending to be their age and arranging meetings or inviting them to parties where they're kidnapped, raped, or killed. They share personal information without the thought of home invasion and robbery. Bullying. Parents expect their children to drive without texting. They're walking across the parking lot to their car at night, glued to their phone; they never noticed the van parked next to them until someone grabs and pulls them inside, or your little ones running into people because his face is glued to that fucking screen.


     Children see themselves as your equal because you allow them to call you by your first name. They're allowed to talk back, and you excuse it by saying they're just, "Growing up" Your kids are spoiled; they don't pay any part of their car insurance, registration, clothes, or even expected to pitch in when they have a job. Hell, you even pay for their cell phones. You allow your children to act too fucking grown. My dad wished I would come to him and accuse him of not, "respecting my privacy or freedom" You're not respecting their personal space. You want privacy, move the fuck out, get a job, and pay your fucking bills. As long as you live in your parents' home, and they're paying for that roof over your head, you have no fucking privacy. Not in your room, your computer, cellphone, NOTHING!


     Your kids feel equal to you because they have no restrictions; they have no boundaries. They're too fucking entitled. You allow your teenagers to sit and converse among adults when they're talking as if they have the life experience to contribute something of value to the conversation. You treat them as equal. Therefore, they behave in kind. Then when they get out of pocket, you want to try to reel them in and teach them respect. Some parents are afraid of their children; that they'll hurt them in their sleep because they won't buy something they want, or took away their video game system for bad behavior.


     You allow your young children to hit/kick you when they don't get their way, and you use not getting fast food for dinner as a punishment. You make threats you don't keep. You buy their allegiance with candy, junk food, toys, cars, whatever they want, as long as they like YOU better than your ex-wife or ex-husband. You don't' want to be the bad guy. Your kids don't respect you. They're your equal because you allow them to drink, smoke pot, and have sex under your roof and because you don't want your daughter sucking dick in a car or your son fucking his girlfriend behind a dumpster, instead of keeping their ass at home or requiring your kids to be home at a decent hour. Letting them be themselves means more to you than being a parent. You can be friends with your children, but equals? You're a fucking idiot; that's why your kids are fucked up now. They have no role models or models of authority. You're nothing more than the FRIEND that gave birth to them.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

BULLSHYT

April 7, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     B&B: No, it doesn't stand for bed and breakfast; it stands for something a hell of a lot worse: the bully and the bullied. The sad truth is most kids won't admit they're being bullied, even if asked. Out of fear, embarrassment, or whatever, we're at a point where bullying has gone WAY overboard. Add in social media and cyberbullying, this situation has reached peaks never before heard of in the history of our society. How bullying is being dealt with is even more frightening.


     How can you tell if your child's being bullied? They make excuses to not go to school or participate in normal activities. Their grades decline. They suddenly ask for extra money, or they come home from school starving as if they haven't eaten all damn day. They wait until they get home to use the bathroom. Bed wetting. Torn clothes or bruises. Nightmares. Smaller children are more scared than normal; they become relentlessly clingy. Older kids will be depressed or project outbursts of violence or frustration for little or no reason. They're always sad and withdrawn — missing possessions; phone, clothes, shoes, toys, jewelry, etc.


     Another truth: if you're unaware of the fact your child's a bully, you're either a bully yourself, or you're a shitty fucking parent; there's no other way to say it. If you're even half as involved with your child's life as a parent should be, you can tell if your child's a bully. If they're picking on their younger siblings, that should be your first clue your little asshole's a bully. Violent outbursts when they don't get their way. Constant fighting/yelling. Their friends have stopped coming around, or they spend more time alone than before. It may even be as apparent as your child's school contacting you about problems interacting with other children.


     Bullies may see themselves as physically unattractive. The reverse side of this shitty coin is the bully may see themselves as being so attractive, others who don't measure up to their standard deserve to be picked on. In a warped frame of mind, some bullies believe picking on someone else may make them appear more attractive. Jealousy also plays a part; someone may bully another person because they feel inferior by comparison. Bullies choose their victims based on people they know won't fight back.


     Why do kids find it necessary to bully? Guys are more physical when it comes to being a bully. Boys pick on others to get their way. For whatever reason, they can't find the words or have issues communicating any other way. They feel as if they have no voice otherwise. They feel as if the only time they're noticed is when they're doing something wrong; they figure negative attention is better than no attention at all, so they pattern their behavior with that rationalization. Poor self-image and self-esteem are another, no matter how much they try to hide it. They're being bullied at home by older siblings or abused by their parents, either physically or mentally. The possibility of sexual abuse may also be a contributing reason. Insecurity: They could be confused about their sexuality or gender orientation/preference and use bullying as a shield to avoid letting on they may be gay or bisexual. Not being good at sports or anything else that may be viewed as, "Guy stuff" will result in being bullied. Not meeting the standard the bully has set about what or how he thinks is acceptable; for example, he'll pick on others who may not have name brand clothes or shoes, doesn't drink or smoke (cigarettes or pot), have sex or be a member of a team.


     Eventually, guys evolve out of being bullies faster and more frequently than girls as they get older. Girls/women continue bullying into adulthood. females bully each other because they feel their popularity may be in jeopardy. They'll bully another female, thinking the object of their affection may be interested in someone else. Revenge or retaliation is another reason. Females will pick on other females who they feel are inferior to them. Girls will bully each other based on physical reasons. Not being pretty enough. Overweight. Having reached puberty too late or too soon. Financial or social/economic standing. Sexual preference.


     Bullying in the workplace is more common than sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Women will bully each other in a different but equal light, but for the same conceptual reasons as if they were still teenage girls. Women will see each other as a threat to their professional standing or advancement. They'll lie and gossip on each other to either get ahead or to keep someone else from doing so. They'll spread rumors about who's fucking who to justify why they were passed over for a promotion. Women will befriend another woman and use everything she was told against her. Backstabbing. Hostile body language. Women will go as far as to influence other women to alienate and act shitty to another woman in fear of being facing the wrath of the bully.


     Bullies come in 2 main forms for guys, 3 for women.


- THE AGGRESSOR. The guy that beats people up for the hell of it or uses the threat of physical violence. Women will also fight to establish her dominance, but more time than not, she'll resort to extreme and constant verbal abuse.


- THE PAY IT FORWARD BULLY. Guys justify it by calling it, "Hazing" to make it sound acceptable. Team sports. Fraternities. Cliques. Having to do the worst jobs in the company before being allowed to do the actual job you were hired to do. The thought behind the PIF bully is, "If I had to go through it, so do you."


- The 2-FACED BITCH. Specifically for women. She's insensitive. She'll smile to your face, and shit talks you from behind. She'll convince others you aren't worth shit and force others to exclude you, no matter how much they may like you as a person. They'll say you're doing a good job, and tell the big bosses you can't carry your weight. She'll set you up for failure as much as she can. The goal? to get you fired or make you quit.


     Cyberbullying has become a hot-button issue over the past few years. Instead of passing notes, talking trash, and sharing secrets about one another, social media is the newest weapon; the replacement to the fist. Camera phones and video is the new way to spread negativity. Text messaging and screenshots have made backstabbing a hell of a lot easier. The wrong picture of the wrong person, doing the wrong thing is a great way to singled out to be bullied online. One text message in the right/wrong hands can cut as easy and deeper than a katana blade. Sure, getting beat up sucks, but wounds will heal; once something's out on the internet, it's there for life.


     We can speculate the reasons why bullies exist from now until the end of time, but the truth is that it's unacceptable in ANY way, shape, or form. Personally, I believe if someone has a pattern of being a bully and they cross paths with the wrong person, resulting in a monkey-fuck ass stomping within an inch of their life, so be it. Their parents shouldn't be able to say a fucking thing about it. However, I can't and will not condone a reaction like that, nor am I advising or telling anyone to react that way, because it's wrong AND illegal. Let me say it again. If you're being bullied, DO NOT react or attempt to return their violence with violence, seek out the nearest trusted adult. If you or someone else is a victim of bullying, I encourage you to contact STOPBULLYING.GOV or call (949)-212-2246.


~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

ACCESS DENIED

March 24, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     Sex may not be the most important aspect of a relationship, but it's a pretty damn pivotal one. Dry spells are a part of every relationship; not every couple is in the mood at the same time. As we get older and become more comfortable with one other, this expected from time to time. There's no reason to think there's anything's wrong if you and your partner haven't had sex in a week or so. Once you've hit that two weeks or a one month mark, that maybe the time when you need to sit down and ask, "What the fuck?" The truth is the longer you go without it, the more awkward that first time back will be. One or both of will ask yourself what was it that made you go so long without and you'll start to over-analyze the situation.


     Medical reasons. There's a laundry list of medical issues that result in loss of sex drive between 2 people, too many to get into. Stress. Depression. Age. Inability to perform. An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy could be a reason as well. Perhaps one person was involved in an accident that affected their ability to engage in sexual activity. Or something worse, like a sexual assault, could halt or strain a physical relationship. These are uncontrollable reasons to where life just happens. It's a shitty roll of the dice, but there's nothing that can be done about those situations; they are what they are.


     Excluding those, there's a shitload of reasons couples stop having sex. Both men and women contribute equally to their loss of spark, while others are specific to each partner. As a team, couples allow their bullshit to spill from other sources into the bedroom. They argue about other shit, and they become mad at each other. When a couple has been together for a while, the chances of falling into a routine is extremely high.


     She is waiting until the kids go to bed. Light kissing and touching, maybe a little dirty talk; the same dirty talk they've been using for the entire length of their relationship. She gives him head; he rubs her until she's wet. She climbs on top and rides him for a few minutes before he turns her over and takes her from behind. The finale consists of him being on top, humping like a teenage rabbit, right out of prison until he blows his load inside her.


     Like a perfectly rehearsed production, the act of sex has gotten as predictable as the evening TV lineup and has become monotonous and boring. There's no deviation. Neither of them wants to try anything new or exciting. Sex feels more like just something to do, instead of something to experience. The romance, sensuality, and intimacy are gone. They just don't turn each other on anymore. Stresses and deadlines at work may affect sex drive or frequency. Issues at home. Bills. The car needs repair. The laundry's piling up. One of the kids needs braces. I am running them back and forth from one afterschool activity to the next. Dad has his fantasy football league, and mom has her TV binge-watching. They're so busy being parents; they don't make the time to be a married couple. They don't go out together as a man and a woman; everything's a FAMILY outing. Sex feels more like work or obligation than something to enjoy. They've reached a point to where sex isn't as important as it used to be for one or even both of them. Neither of them makes the other feel appreciated, sexy or desired.


     Something as simple as personal hygiene could throw a wrench into a well thought-out plan for a night of sex. One or both partners may be turned off by the amount of hair the other has in their private areas. Men won't trim or groom because they feel it takes away from his masculinity, his manhood. Women won't shave because they say it makes them feel like a little girl again. The idea or thought of going down on their partner and possibly tasting residual urine doesn't appeal to either of them. Body odor. Bad breath. She may HATE his new, big, bushy, unkempt-looking beard. He may be absolutely turned off by her new, "Super-short" haircut. His toenails shred the sheets. She only waxes her mustache once a month now, instead of every week like she used to. With age comes maturity. With maturity comes an evolution in priorities. Sometimes, those priorities get redundant, and sex becomes a backburner activity.


     Sex diminishes because he only wants to and knows how to fuck; he doesn't understand or doesn't care about the difference between fucking, having sex, or making love. He only interested in getting his dick sucked, with no thought of reciprocity. He's only interested in getting off. It's hard for her to enjoy herself because he cums too quick and he's done as soon as he gets his. He doesn't realize the value or purpose of foreplay. For non-medical reasons, he can't get or stay hard for her, but when it comes to strippers or porn, he's just fine. He spends too much time and money at the strip club. He turns her down a lot. He jacks off more than he wants to be with her. In HIS mind, he can get off, without the foreplay, hugging and cuddling or interaction before and after. HE can get his nut off during the commercial break and make it back in time to finish watching the game. He wants anal. He's no longer attracted to her and wants it from certain positions where he doesn't have to look at her. He wants it the way HE wants it, and he'll get shitty or shut down if he doesn't get it. He only wants it when he's drunk or high. She's caught him watching TV.


     HIS complaints? "She takes too long to get wet" What men don't understand is they may able to get hard and be ready at the drop of a hat, but the arousal process for a woman takes much longer; it can take a woman up 10 minutes to get wet, depending on what and how she's being stimulated. Men expect women to be ready when they are and get butt-fucking hurt when it takes her longer, accusing her of not being into it. He'll use that to avoid having sex altogether. That's why foreplay is more important to women than men. He'll turn her NEED for foreplay into a complaint.


     On the flip side, some men feel that women can get, "Too wet." What the fuck does THAT mean? I'd personally take that as a compliment. Another thing men complain about is when a woman orgasms, she squirts. Again, that should be a compliment. Sure you have to change your linens and wash your blankets the next day, but that's also why there's such thing as vinyl mattress covers, or put a fucking towel or 2 underneath you. She knows she squirts, don't make her feel like it's something to be ashamed of.


She's too loud. She can't suck dick. That's because you never want to eat her pussy, so she purposely does a shitty job at it to keep you from wanting it. If by the rare possibility that she IS bad at oral. You can politely address this issue about oral sex and groom her to provide better fellatio. Stop being a dick about it. She's put on too much weight. She wants it too much. Again, that should be taken as a compliment, asshole.


     Women will use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment for pissing her off, which is a shitty fucking thing to do. Sex isn't a bargaining tool or casino chip. A lot of women believe they can control a relationship because she controls the pussy. If you're a woman and you've ever thought that, you're seriously fucked up, and you deserve to get cheated on or dropped on your ass. That shit isn't cute, funny, or productive. It's just plain fucked up. Sometimes women won't initiate because she's learned to accept being turned down.


     On the other hand, there are women who believe a man should initiate most of the time. That's bullshit. Luckily, some men just want to get him and be done, but for those who actually enjoy sex, they don't ALWAYS want to be the one initiating; sooner or later, he's going to start thinking you could care less if you have sex or not. That's the type of thinking that gets him seeking advice from other women on how he can get you to initiate more, and the last thing a woman should want is her man talking to another woman about the issues he's having in bed.


     She emasculates him in public. Cutting him off when he talks. Speaking for him. Taking more of a masculine, "Breadwinner" role in the relationship will make a man feel like shit. Trying to be dominant in the bedroom all the time will definitely keep a man from wanting to fuck. Allow a man to be a man, especially when you have a good, decent man. Otherwise, she'll lose that man to a woman who knows how to be a woman in a relationship.


     Shut the fuck up about your body. Apparently, if you're getting dick regularly, he likes what he sees when he looks at you. He doesn't care about your belly, thighs, underarms, or whatever else you complain about while you're tugging on your shirt to keep him from pulling it off while you're riding him. He doesn't want to keep hearing shit about what she hates about her body. She'll only have sex at night and will interrupt some good-ass foreplay or wait until he's rock-fucking hard, getting ready to pound that pussy only to ask him to stop and go turn off the light because she doesn't want him to see her body. WHAT THE FUCK? Shut your moment-ruining ass and take the dick.


     He hurries her. She tells her friends about how small he is or how he can't put it on her right. He always wants to be pleasured first, with the promise he'll return the favor, only to roll over and go to sleep right after he gets him or tells her to wait until halftime for her to get off because she takes too long to cum. She'll kiss around his dick like a planetary orbital path but won't suck his dick, and will lie to him and say she can ONLY cum if he eats her pussy. Porn has made him numb to the concept of actual sex; that being said, if it doesn't resemble the fantasy of the online scenario, he's not interested.


     People are quick to assume a man's the main reason why couples stop having sex; truthfully, BOTH partners have some of the same contributing traits when it comes to the fizzle in the bedroom. Of course, cheating is a HUGE reason why people stop having sex. No spark during the actual experience of sex can turn one or both people off. Personally, I'd lose interest in having sex with someone who's just lying there quietly, like a cold fucking fish with absolutely no expression whatsoever. No moaning. No compliments. No dirty talk; nothing remotely resembling a facial expression of pleasure or enjoyment. Step the fuck up, get nasty, try new things, open the lines of communication and figure out what the hell the issue is. Make each other comfortable enough to be able to express what they feel is the problem and what can be done to make sex enjoyable again. Be open to criticism and new ideas from BOTH sides. And above all, don't take shit personally and don't throw blame. Remember, it's about repairing a broken part of your relationship. Fix it.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

HARDHAT AREA

March 16, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

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PLAYTIME: PT. 2


     Playing, "Hard to get." What the fuck? Why do women think that shit is cute? Being, "Chased" or, "Pursued." What's the fucking point, especially with older, supposedly mature women? What makes them think a good, decent man wants to play that stupid fucking game? Yeah, I said GAME; that's what it is, a silly, pointless, childish, fucking game that good man with something going for him has no time or desire to play, no matter who the woman is.


     The truth is only players will play along with them, "Hard to get" game. To them, it's about the hunt, not about you; you're a fucking trophy to him. You're nothing but a pussy-shaped championship ring to him. They feel a man will try harder for something he can't easily have. She'll play the game because she can. Men allow it because their desire for pussy outweighs their common fucking sense. No decent man with an ounce of self-respect or confidence will waste his time, playing this game with you. I call it as I see it, and the way I see it is that black women have the biggest issue with playing this game. They have this, "Queen" mentality that drives them to believe a man has to prove himself worthy of her time or has to earn her. Not to say other ethnicities don't do the same thing, but damn, black women wear that shit across their chest like a fucking superhero insignia!


     White women play hard to get because they think it's cute, funny, and exciting. They'll have a man at home and go out, giving the impression they're single and will flirt all night long, seeking as much attention as she can from as many men possible. When the night's over and her confidence cup is overflowing, she'll thank every guy for their contribution. She'll ignore and deny their request for a phone number exchange, then inform them she's married, etc. Hispanic women will play the game because she's been played so much in her life; she feels it's her turn to get some payback. She'll play the game to humiliate a man because she's been crushed so many times before in her past. Even if he's a good guy, it doesn't matter to her. When she looks at you, she sees all the men that have played her for a fool throughout her life.


     Black women will play hard to get but will get butt-fucking upset when that brother she's trying to play the game with wants no part of it and approach that white women who actually shows a mutual interest in him. White women will play the game, thinking she's so fucking hot she can have ANY man she wants but will call him an arrogant asshole if he doesn't want to play. A Hispanic woman will play the game and try to embarrass a man by being overly-animated with her rejection, in an attempt to bring unnecessary attention to his subtle approach for interaction.


     Women play the game because she believes that's the ONLY way a man can prove his interest. She'll play the game because she thinks it'll make him more interested, and it will. It'll make it so much much sweeter for him when he gets past your game, fucks you, and leaves you, admiring that championship ring he just won from you. Women play hard to get because they feel the best things come to those who wait. That may be true, but you just met, how the fuck is HE supposed to know you're the best thing for him if the first thing you show him is you're playing a damn game with him?


     Women play hard to get because they don't want a man to expect sex. The truth is, you can't stop a man from wanting or expecting sex; you can stop him from GETTING it from you, but you can't change his desires, no matter how stupid the game you're playing is. On the other hand, she'll play the game not to seem easy or have him thinking he's gonna get sex, even if she wants it. Women play the game because she doesn't want to get hurt; again. Self-preservation. She's tired of men coming at her like shit, spouting the same bullshit she's heard over and over again. Because men are assholes and they approach her with pussy on the brain, looking down her top the whole time he's trying to talk to her, or staring at her lips, wondering how good she sucks dick.


     She likes control, dominance, independence, and power. Popularity or validation from her social circle. She'll ask herself, "Men can be players, why can't I play the game too?" She'll play the game because it allows her to date/experience multiple men without being labeled a tease or a slut.


     Women play the game by not responding to text and calls INTENTIONALLY. She doesn't want to be a "hump and dump" or friends with benefits. She's always busy but wants you available. She'll talk to you about other guys that hit on her or want her; she'll let you know she has other options than you. She doesn't want to seem desperate. She's secretive; when you ask if she's single, she'll say, "It's complicated." Ask her out, and she'll reply, "I MIGHT be busy." "I'm talking to somebody." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Her, "Playful" insults and criticisms annoy the fuck out of you. She looks away when you’re talking, but wants you right next to her. She'll play the game, but all her friends know about you, and they know she likes you.


     Women play hard to get because they believe it's traditional or chivalrous for a man to pursue her. If you believe that, by all means, you do you. You're such a fucking queen with that much entitlement to where you feel a man should pursue you, and I'm in no position to say otherwise. Do you deserve to have the man approach YOU? Ask YOU out? Pick YOU up? Take YOU out and pick up the checks most of the time? If you find a man like that, that's all good. If that's what it takes for a man to prove his worth to you, cool; then will you PLEASE shut the fuck up about being so fucking independent and how you don't need a man for shit? Otherwise, YOUR half of dinner comes to $28.76, not including the fucking tip!


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

NO GOING BACK

March 9, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     I had an affair, and my lady found out. We don't want to break up, because both of us did things we shouldn't have. Do you have any advice on how to get past getting caught cheating, so we can get back how to we were?


     There's good news, bad news, then the truth.


     Good news: 1. She still loves you. 2. She didn't leave your ass. 3. She's willing to listen to you. 4. They've decided to talk and TRY to work things out. 5. There's a CHANCE to reconcile.


     Bad news: 1. She's giving you a chance, not a guarantee. 2. At any time, she can change her mind, realize she can't ever trust you again and decide it's just better to end it and walk away. 3. Everything you say and do will be scrutinized and put under a microscope. 4. You have absolutely no say in anything that goes on during the reconciliation process.


     Now for the dark truth.


     Her friends and family know what happened and they fucking hate you. In time, some will accept her choice to take you back, but rest assured, there will be those who will ALWAYS hold a grudge against you.


     It's NEVER going back to the same as it was before. You're starting over from the beginning, not from the time you fucked up. Dating, Spending time together and allowing her walls to come down naturally and trusting you. Everything goes back to the very beginning. It's not going to be as easy as it was the first time, where she trusted and believed you at face value. No matter what good times you went through together, when she looks at you, all she'll see is lies and betrayal.


     As I said before, things will NEVER be the way they were; let that hope and bullshit go where it is. If by some miracle you work through it, your relationship WILL be different. Don't over-apologize; she doesn't want to hear that shit over and over again; sooner or later, it's going to be something you say because you have absolutely nothing else to say and it'll lose all its meaning. Don't try to buy or, "good deed" her forgiveness. If she cheated for revenge, don't use that as leverage against her to try to soften the blow or guilt her into making things easier on you.


     Don't expect immediate results; you're a fucking idiot if you do. Don't pressure her forgiveness. There's no time frame for this process; you don't have the right to ask how much longer they're going to make you prove yourself three months down the line or how long it's going to take for her to get over being pissed. It'll take as long as SHE needs it to while she heals her heart. Don't expect her not to bring it up periodically. She's going to want to know why you did it, and you'd better have a reason. Answer EVERY question and TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH! Now is the time to admit everything you've done ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!! Not just about what you were caught doing, but anything else that could back and bite you in the ass later. Not wanting to tell her something in fear of losing her for good is a mistake. If you don't cop to it now and she finds out later, she'll go right back to the state of mind where you cheated, and she WILL leave you this time. She's already hurt. She's already pissed. It can't get any worse for you. Deal with it now so if anything came up in the future, she already knows about it.


     During that time, you're not going to have sex. Even if you both want it; if you TRULY want it to work, having sex is like putting a piece of tape on a gunshot wound. It may feel good at the time, but it'll confuse the hell her, give YOU the wrong idea about where the two of you stand, and possibly cause her to question why she really wants to work things out with you. Get yourself tested for STD's/STI's. Don't wait for her to require you to do it.


     Don't get back together right away; that's a mistake. Don't expect it either. Allow her time to mourn the end of the relationship as it was. Like the death of a loved one, she'll go through the stages of grief. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance


     Anger: She's pissed at you for what you did. You broke her heart. You betrayed her trust. You humiliated her. You took more from her emotionally than you could ever imagine.


     Bargaining: She'll wager everything she has to take the pain away. Or she'll bargain with karma for revenge for you did to her.


     Denial: She can't believe you did that to her. She can't believe she fell for your shit. She can't believe she didn't see any signs.


     Depression: She's heartbroken. She has to come back to an empty home. She has to pack up her/your things. There's nobody to celebrate anything with anymore.


     Acceptance: She's accepted the situation and realizes she can't lie in self-doubt or pity. Whether she chooses to work things out or show your ass to the door, she knows she can't stay in the dark, crying or feeling like shit. She'll slowly start to gather herself together and move forward.


     You have to allow her alone time; you can't smother her. You getting caught may be the end of the lying, sneaking around, trying not to get caught. If she decides to give you a chance to redeem yourself, it's just the beginning for her. She has to deal with everything you've done. You have to be ready for the possibility she won't be able to stand the sight of you, even if she still loves you.


     Another truth is even if she chooses to give you that chance, she's not going to keep herself off the market. She's going to meet people; she's going to date. You're going to have to deal with it. The chances of her having a relationship with someone else is possible, even if it's short-term. Don't even THINK you have the same right. She needs to know going back to you is best for her, but she also needs to know she can trust you; and you going out with someone else, even though she is too, she'll see you as a cheater all over again.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CPA

March 2, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     What's the difference between confidence and arrogance? For one, they're the polar opposite of each other. Positive and negative. Good and bad.


     In the most natural explanation of confidence, is a person's feeling of self-assurance, based on their awareness and appreciation of their qualities and abilities. Trust, faith, and preparation are hallmarks of confidence. Knowing what you bring makes you worthy of your seat at the table.


     Arrogance is believing you're better than everyone else. Your shit smells like fresh linen and rose petals. Everyone else is beneath you in some way, shape, or form. You're more important and valuable than anyone else and what you have to say or think trumps everything. You deserve to be the center of attention.


     Confident people admit their faults and accept their flaws. Their integrity means more to them than anything. They recognize they don't know everything and have no issues asking questions or seeking clarification when they don't understand something. A confident person knows when to stop talking and listen. Sure people learn from their mistakes. They don't worry about what others think about them, as long as they're happy and not hurting anyone. Self-negativity is either non-existent or quickly kept in check. Public speaking is no problem for a confident person. Confident people take pride in their appearance and hygiene. They invest in their physical health and dress for success when needed, but can also embrace their own flair and individuality, without looking like a fucking clown.


     Confident people take pride in their work and accomplishments. The can talk themselves up without bragging. They assert themselves without being a bully. When they walk into a room, their presence is felt from one corner to the other. They're noticed by the way they walk, talk, approach and interact with others. They treat everyone with the same courtesy they expect, but not afraid to call someone out if approached disrespectfully and can do it tactfully. A confident person surrounds themselves with other confident people. Confident people can accept criticism and apply it positively.


     Arrogance breeds assholes. Arrogant people name-drop; who they've met and who they know. They don't deem you worthy of basic eye contact; they'll look right past you. They're always late and never apologize for it; hell, they never apologize for anything. If they can even muster the courage to say they're sorry, it's got more sarcasm than refried beans have shit that'll make you fat as fuck. Nothing's their fault. Everything that goes wrong is because of someone else. They not only have the best ideas, but all other views are pointless even to bring up. They interrupt anyone who's talking, especially if you do not agree with them. Arrogant people don't walk into a room; they swagger through, making sure everyone sees them. They'll strut around the room like a fucking peacock, showing their feathers to the entire flock. Arrogant men KNOW every woman wants him and every man wants to BE him. Arrogant women have an entitlement mentality; they're a princess, and all other women fall short of their grace, poise, and beauty.


      Arrogant people are quick to, "1-up" everyone. No matter what you or someone else has done in life, they've done the same, just a little more and a whole lot better. They have an answer for everything. And if they don't it's YOUR fault; you didn't hear them right. They'll talk shit behind your back and will force others to exclude you if your opinion doesn't mimic theirs. The world owes them a debt of gratitude for being born. Arrogant people are quick to get angry; they'll call you out in an effort to humiliate you. They're NEVER wrong. They have shitty personalities and nasty dispositions. They dominate and bully. They make everything personal. Arrogant people desire praise.


     Last, but certainly not least is pride. Pride can be both positive and negative. Pride is having dignity and self-value, self-respect and satisfaction in themselves. Pride is about self-esteem and a can-do attitude — satisfaction in accomplishments and achievements. Pride is showing eagerness in earning personal worthiness.


     Pride can also be an extremely high self-opinion and lead to narcissism. Pride can be overcompensation for weakness. It can be an unusually high opinion of someone's success and materialistic acquisitions. Pride will keep people from admitting their mistakes. They immerse themselves in self-doubt, causing them to feel as if they must constantly prove themselves. They give themselves way too much credit and over exaggerate their actions. Prideful people can't and won't ask for forgiveness. Pride will keep people from apologizing and can potentially ruin relationships and lifelong friendships.


     Understand confidence isn't a blanket cover for every venture a person may take on in life. Confident people aren't ALWAYS optimistic in every situation. Even the most confident person will face self-doubt and issues with self-esteem; their ability to realize, accept, and move through it positively is a characteristic a TRUE confident person possesses. That's also the reason for surrounding themselves with other confident people, to draw positivity from and push through those low tides. A person's confidence cup may overflow in the workplace, but when it comes to social interaction, they're as awkward as a newborn duck, learning to swim. Arrogant people aren't always assholes; otherwise, they wouldn't have the people who continue to be in their lives, even though they act the way they do. They may portray arrogance in public, but their true friends see a different side of them, and they accept why they act the way they do. Someone may be arrogant as fuck when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex, but can't hold their food down when faced with the thought of public speaking. Prideful people usually are pretty transparent, whether positive or negative.


     CPA. Confidence. Pride. Arrogance. What's the difference? Confidence leads to success, no matter the venture. Arrogance leads to solitude. Pride can either portray you as a great person to be around or an asshole — your choice.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

PLAYTIME: PT. 1

February 24, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

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      Why do women go for players? Do they REALLY not know they're being played? Do they know and just not care? Have we gotten to the where women have accepted that most men are players and all the good ones are either gay or taken? Where is the attraction knowing a man wants to fuck you and other women at the same time?


     If a player had his way, he could go and fuck as many women as he wanted, but keep you at home, waiting on him to grace you with his dick. Men will ACT like it's just all about the physical, as long as he can call you up whenever he wants to, and you respond. Let that time come to when you don't answer or tell him you can't get together when he wants to because you've got OTHER plans. THEN he'll turn bitch real quick and behave like you've been in a relationship the entire time and you're cheating on him.


     Players actually have shitty self-esteem. The harder they try to embrace being a person, the more unhappy they are with themselves. Most players have absolutely no identity of their own, so they supplement their deficiency with the constant need for validation and acceptance from women. Why do guys feel the need to send women, "Dick pictures"? Not because they think it's sexy or a turn-on for women; it's not for them. They do it to get a reaction. Whether positive or negative, they crave attention, reassurance or affirmation for themselves. They want to be told how big they are or how bad she wants it. Hell, even if she calls him a dirty fucker, he got the attention he was seeking.


     How does a player choose who he approaches? First, he sizes up every woman in the room, then eliminates the undesirables. Then he gauges his options based on what's left and how attractive they are; how they're built, and how naive or easy she appears. A player won't go after a woman who seems to have the ability to see his game coming. He'll choose the hottest woman he can manipulate into thinking he's honest and sincere. Men choose their prey based on who appears to be the easiest fuck for the night. Her job. How much money she makes, how far away she lives, if she has kids. All of these things will allow him to make the most beneficial choice for himself.


     A player wants a woman who can pay for her own shit, even some of HIS shit. He wants her to spend HER money. A player wants to have as many women in his, "Stable" as he can because he's an opportunist. The more options a player has, the more indecisive he is, and he wants to sample everything on the menu before ordering his meal. The more women he has on the line, the more Birthday/Christmas cards and presents he'll get. When one can't go out because it's HER weekend with her kids, he has someone else to call. Players want the "Triple-threat" woman, in three different women; one woman to show off and have sex with, another woman to fuck, and a different woman to hang out with.


     A player is a player because women allow men to be players. They refuse to demand more. Or if they do, they're shitty about it. They'll play them. "Alpha female" card, which will turn off any good man. There can be only one Alpha in a relationship, and if the woman thinks she's it, then she views the man as a Beta. For a man, Beta equals BITCH.


A player knows his game works if she allows subtle contact such as hand holding, hugging, touching, laughing, etc. She'll allow him to penetrate her personal space and get closer. Mutual physical touch is also a sign she's into him. She lets him take her away from her friends to spend some one-on-one time on the outside patio or the table in the corner. She'll give him her resume'. If he's playing her right, a woman will tell a man EVERYTHING he needs to know to get what he wants; all he has to do is shut his mouth and let her do all the talking; especially if she's complaining about all the bullshit he ex did or didn't do right. All the player has to do is the exact opposite, and she's hooked.


     Even if you don't have the experience or gift of being able to spot a player, chances are, every woman has at least ONE friend who does. So, why do women continue to put themselves in the position to be played? True, some guys are just that charming and smooth, but not many. That woman has to be gullible as fuck not to see this shit as it nothing but a game. Women go for players because they're attracted to them, "Bad boy" mentality. Sure, it's an old cliche', but it still holds true. Women think they can change a player; they believe he's a lost, hurt soul who can be turned around by the affection and love of the right woman. You're a dumb fuck who deserves to be played if you believe that shit. Women go for players because they don't think they're worthy of anything better. They don't want to be alone. They don't expect anything different than what they've gone through so far in life. Some women are players themselves, and the appeal of not being tied down to one man suits them just fine. He's not needy at all, and she doesn't have to justify what she does outside of them getting together.


     The thrill. The excitement. Women date players so they can live out their deepest, darkest fantasies. She can experience and embrace her secret inner slut with someone who won't judge her. On the flip side, some women believe they can fuck a player into falling in love or into a relationship. The smart player will show his good side until she has feelings for him, then his TRUE nature will come out; by then, she's too emotionally invested to see she's being played. A woman will know a man's a player, but curiosity will get the better of her, and she'll get involved with him, just to see what the attraction is about him in particular. He's looking good on your arm, and all your friends are jealous or happy as hell you found a hot guy. Women will comment about how all the good men are taken and complain about how hard it is to find a good one; no it isn't.


     One added point; the MISLABELING of a player. If a man tells you right from the beginning he's not looking for anything serious; he's giving you the option to cut contact and walk away. If you CHOOSE to continue getting to know him and spending time with him, that's YOUR CHOICE! When he senses your feelings for him evolving and he bolts for the door, that man is absolute, positively NOT a fucking player! He told you what he was about and your dumb ass stayed around, hoping you'd be the one to change him. When you couldn't say, you want to label him a dog, or a player. Nope. Sorry. He didn't play you; you played yourself.


     There are PLENTY of good men out there, the mystery so blinds women, and excitement of the player attitude, the good man, gets stuck in the fucking friend zone, listening to you bitch about how that other asshole played you and how he ain't shit.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

COMFORT FOOD

February 17, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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     We all know someone who can walk into any room or any situation, and people will stop and notice them. Or that friend that can step up to any member of the opposite sex and capture their interest and attention. That person who seems to put an entire area at pause when he walks by. Even that guy or girl at work who can mix it up with the janitor or mailroom clerk and be cool as ice with the big bosses. Have you ever stopped to wonder what it is about them that people are just drawn to them? What makes them so highly functional in so many different situations?


     Looks? Money? The way they speak or carry themselves? The aura of mystery, courage, or attitude? Their background or education? The answer is all of the above. But to simplify what makes that particular person a professional or social chameleon is comfort in who they are and confidence in what they bring to the table.


     The difference between comfort and confidence is that being comfortable means accepting yourself for being yourself. Meaning, if you're unhappy or unsure of yourself, you can bet your ass it's going to show in the way you walk, talk, act, and interact with others. Being comfortable means looking at your self in the mirror and liking what you see looking back you, flaws and all. Confidence is recognizing the difference between what you can and can't change concerning what's best for you and no one else. Confidence is also viewing yourself as a force to be reckoned with and being able to assert yourself without burning bridges or causing intentional animosity towards anyone and understanding what you can't change and embracing your positive qualities without concern to what anyone else may think of you.


     Comfort is walking out of the house wearing those jeans or that skirt/dress that may be a little tight around the waist area, but you don't give a shit, you like to eat, and you aren't going to change, just because someone else may think you look gross. Comfort is not needing anyone to validate you or the choices you make, as long as you're happy with yourself. Confidence is knowing that no matter what, things are going to go your way. Even if they don't, you're not going to let it bother you because you did everything you could to make a positive day happen and whatever went wrong, wasn't due to your actions. Comfort is going out for the night and knowing you're looking the best you can, no matter what anyone else says. Confidence is walking in the same room and not having to have a bunch of people around you to make you feel like, "The Man."


     There is however such thing as being over-confident. Although we should never look at ourselves as unworthy, there are those situations where our confidence can be eclipsed by expecting more than what we can deliver on. In layman's terms, ensure you can support the amount of comfort/confidence you project.


     If a man weighs 250-300 lbs but refuses to approach or interact with a woman who weighs 200 lbs. Because, "She's too fucking big," you're an asshole. A woman with 2-3 children can be as confident as she wants, but for her NOT want to date a man with kids because she doesn't want to, "Deal with the drama" is unrealistic and makes you sound stupid.


     Stop looking at yourself thinking, "There's no way that guy/girl would be interested in me." For all you know, you could be EXACTLY the type of person they're looking for. What's the worst they can say, NO? Then you move on, no harm no foul. Your level of comfort/confidence will cause you to succeed whether others have failed & makes the difference between hearing, "No thank you" or "I'd really like that."


     A guy may be comfortable going out on the town in sagging jeans, sunglasses and a shirt with a pot leaf on it and have all the confidence in the world, but his expectation of finding a single, professional woman who's interested in him is more than unlikely. His pride and ego dented, he'll call her a stuck up bitch and stomp away as he's trying to keep his big ass gut sucked in for just a few more hours. A woman who doesn't take any interest in her physical fitness will go out on that same night, wearing the same clothes she's had on all day or dressed in her 15-year-old daughters' booty shorts, will want to meet a man who works out 4-5 times a week. She'll call him gay or shallow as hell as she pounds down drinks paid for by someone else who wants to fuck her for the night.


     Then there are the nice, decent, positive people who lack the comfort in themselves to see what type of catch they really are. People who have something substantial to offer or those are the people I feel the most for. The guy who isn't built like the hottest hunk, but will treat a woman like a queen if given a chance. He's intelligent, driven, faithful and doesn't need to a player. That woman who's cute as hell and will treat her man like a king. She's smart, funny, interesting and naturally beautiful. Because she's bigger or doesn't fit what society has established as beautiful, no one wants to fuck with her. Men will see these women for convenient pussy. Women will see these men as a paycheck.


     Being guilty of low self-confidence and self-worth, I understand the natural thing to do is to blame others for making us feel the way feel about ourselves and shift the responsibility of rebuilding our self-confidence on someone else. Just like society has turned the blame to school, church, TV, social media, etc. for our children being the obnoxious assholes they are, instead of looking to where the responsibility should really rest; at our own feet. No one can make us feel the way we do with our permission. No one can make us feel unworthy if we don't let them. People can only take what we project and intensify our insecurities. We LET people treat us like shit. We allow ourselves to be easy targets for women to take advantage of us. Women, you allow yourselves to be targets for men who want to fuck you, but never seen in public with you. Men, we allow ourselves to be led around an manipulated by a small waist, tight ass, etc.


     We allow people to smell the poor self-image we have about ourselves even in the professional world. It takes more than just experience, education, or the right connections to make it the head of the table. A person can look dynamic on paper and be an absolute abortion in person. They may have the education or training to do the job but have a backbone made of modeling clay. Confidence and comfort in yourself and abilities will get you noticed and get you closer to the big show.


     When that promotion opportunity gets posted at work, don't just walk by it. Stop. Read it through. Evaluate your qualifications and ask yourself, "Can I do this job?" If you can, then go for it. What's worst that can happen? You don't get it, and you move on. You continue doing the work you've been doing and wait for the next one, and you apply again.


      The lesson? You can't expect anyone else to be comfortable around you if you're not comfortable with yourself. You can't fake confidence; it has to come from the palms of your feet to every strand of hair. Don't sell yourself short. Be comfortable with yourself. Be confident in who you are. Don't look to anyone else to build you up, and sure as hell don't require to anyone else to give you confidence. While it's possible for outside influences to boost what you already have, it all starts with YOU, how YOU see yourself, how YOU deal with your reflection in the mirror. Accepting what you can, or can't change and either doing something to improve or just being happy with who you are. You can be confident without being an ass. You can be comfortable, but accept that along with that comfort, you're not going to appeal to everyone. Don't take it personally or feel you have to insult someone to regain your pride. Don't allow society to dictate your self-worth. If you see something you want, go after it. Whether personally or professionally You'll miss EVERY shot you don't take.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

3 STRIKES

February 10, 2019

BY D.K. LION AND LISA JILLS

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     Making love has different motivations. It connects the mind and heart. Sensuality and intimacy are at their peak when making love. The goal or the focus isn't necessarily about the orgasm, but listening and responding to each other and reading your partner's body language to reach their emotional core. Making love is telling each other how they feel about one another. It's when you say, " I love you" with your words, your body, and your actions. Making love is a vulnerability and showing more emotion without feeling awkward, no matter how cool or smooth you are.


     Making love is a different personality than you put out to the rest of the world; it doesn't care how smoking hot you are or how many muscles you have. It's the extra love and affirmation you give your partner. It's the time to be yourself; lowering the walls, everyone else sees the insecurities. It's letting go of the stereotypical masculine bravado or the sexy unattainable bitch and just being yourself with one another. Your mind doesn't wander. You're in the moment. The risk of feeling alone in the experience is at its peak. This is the time to assure your partner there's nowhere else you'd rather be.


     Lovemaking is showing appreciation; the desire to do more than satisfy the physical, and more than just an orgasm. It's that confirmation you're with the right person. There's no embarrassment or shame of each other's bodies or performance. It has intent and forethought. Lovemaking doesn't mean penetration; it's about pleasing your partner.


     Sex is about the physical. The focus is getting off. It's the orgasm. Sex is taking your man in your mouth. Sex is the affair; the one-night stand. Sex is the fork in the road between making love and fucking. It's early in the morning before work and right before bed. It's the after the first date, and neither of you wants to say goodnight, so it's back to your/her place. It's when you don't want to be shitty about it being meaningless, but you have no intention of wanting to see them again. Sex is slipping in the shower behind them. It's building up to the moment. Kissing, touching, grinding, sucking, stroking, mounting, riding. It's about the penetration; wanting to please each other. Sex is the experimental phase or mutual control. You both can ask for what you want and be comfortable giving in to sexual fantasies and desires. Sex can be both awkward, yet satisfying.


     Fucking is Dominance, Lust and The hunger for pleasure. Fucking is selfish; the priority is nothing more than satisfaction. Fucking is raw and passionate. Fucking is about getting off; no kissing, no cuddling, no talking unless the word, "Fuck" is used in some way, shape or form. Fucking is primal. It's the physical release of fluid inside your partner, whether vaginally or orally. Fucking is dirty talk; It's what you've fantasized about and know your partner's down for it 100%. Fucking is role-playing, XXX style. Fucking is sucking your man during a commercial, swallowing his load, and letting him get back to the game; it's going down on your lady while she's on the phone with her girlfriend and telling her not hang up until AFTER she orgasms.


     A fuck can be adventurous: outside, against the car or on top of the hood or bent over halfway in the trunk. Dressing extra sexy as hell, showing your body off for your man. Fucking is hot, sweaty, sticky, light-headed exertion. It's fucked-up hair. It's that 5-10 minutes you have while the kids are downstairs watching T.V. No buildup, No planning, it just happens. For both parties, fucking is about wanting to please yourself. Fucking is NOT a bad thing; nothing to be ashamed of and yes, you can fuck someone you're in a relationship, and both can enjoy it.


     A fuck is you getting yours, and they won't even ask if you enjoyed it. It's not about how YOU like it, it's about how THEY want to give it to you, but wish you to give it to them the way they want it. They won't kiss or even want to talk to you afterward. Getting the hell away from you is the goal after that. They won't ask about condoms or birth control because they don't care; that's YOUR responsibility. They call the positions and the shots. Harder, faster, slower or deeper!


     Healthy physical or sexual interaction is significant to the success of any relationship. Knowing HOW and WHEN to make love, have sex, and fuck is critical. A more substantial percentage of women are in tune with the desire for making love and having sex; men are more focused on having sex and fucking. Let me be possibly the first person to inform you that ALL 3 ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT!!


     Learn to communicate. Listen to your partner. Learn the differences, signs, and hints. Learn your needs. Respond to HER needs. Don't be a selfish or constant giver. Don't be embarrassed to say what you want. Try new things; if they work, great. If not, don't dwell, move on. You make love with your heart, have sex with your mind, fuck with your body. Making love doesn't ALWAYS have to be a more profound, spiritually-based emotional experience. Making love can also feel like fucking. Sex can be a romantic connection between people who honestly and sincerely love each other. And sometimes you HAVE to fuck the person you're in love with. These acts aren't definite in their categories. The point is to understand there IS a significant difference and all three must be practiced regularly and mastered.


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Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

TRAINWRECK

February 3, 2019

BY D.K. LION

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      It's that time again. The beginning of the new year. The aftermath of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. The time of resolutions is upon us, and no bigger resolution could rival the resolve to quit smoking or lose weight/get in shape. The sad truth is in making decisions to do both or either, understand they'll lead to failure after just a few months. How can I say this? Very easily. If you wanted to stop smoking, you wouldn't wait until the beginning of the new year to do it; if you wanted to lose weight and get in shape, you wouldn't wait for the new year, you'd start now. Making resolutions is nothing more than a way to procrastinate a failure. Even so, I'll give at least 20% of resolutioners the benefit of the doubt they'll stick to their goal to take a more active interest in their fitness.


     The squat masters. The cardio gods. Machine hogs. The weight wizards. The plate kings and the dumbbell hoarders. Being a newbie in the gym is already intimidating for a lot of people; the pressure to not look like you have no idea what you're doing. Gym virgin sweat is oozing from every pore as you scan the room, trying to figure out where everything is and where to start. You're a target for the headhunters, also know as personal trainers who patrol the floor, looking for people just like you. They offer sessions for WAY too much money and deliver slower than realistic service and results to keep you spending until you get frustrated and quit or you realize they're robbing you. Not to say ALL trainers are that way, but there are enough of them to where you should be wary of the snake-oil sales pitch or myths they try to make you believe you need them.


     There are some excellent and AMAZING personal trainers out there who thrive on seeing their clients outgrow their need for private sessions and that should be a source of pride and accomplishment. The truth is if you still NEED your trainer after about six months, you have a shitty trainer, and they're just keeping you around, providing you the bare minimum of results to keep you satisfied and convinced they're doing their job and keeping you paying. If you decide to go at it alone, you'll undoubtedly receive advice, tips, and direction from both trainers and the veterans, whether you want it or not. Another sad truth is that a lot of the information that's passed down and around range from the inaccurate to bullshit, to the just plain ridiculous. Let's debunk some of these myths right now.


     In my research and studies, in pursuit of gaining my personal training certification, as well as seeking information from long-time trainers. I've decided to tackle some of the biggest gym/training myths that circulate most of the gyms I’ve worked out.


- MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT: This just ridiculous! A pound is a pound, no matter what the material is. Sure, an 8 oz. glass of muscle will weigh more than an 8 oz. glass of fat. Because muscle is denser, so more muscle can be added to the glass, increasing its weight but unfortunately, we're all not 8 oz. glasses, so this myth is fucking FALSE!!!


- STRENGTH TRAINING ADDS BULK: Women tend to avoid weight/strength training because they believe it'll bulk them up. Women produce less testosterone, which is a dominant precursor to adding size. Both weight and strength training aids in weight loss, since maintaining muscle actually burns calories continuously.


- YOU CAN BURN FAT FROM SPECIFIC AREAS: This is also false! Body fat is just that, BODY FAT. A person can't just burn fat from their triceps, legs, or midsection. Fat burning is a TOTAL body process. Everyone loses body fat in different areas; some loose upper body fat first, some lower, etc. It's not the same for everyone.


- CARDIO IS THE BEST WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT: There are countless ways to lose weight: nutrition, Healthy Eating Habits, and Regular exercise. I can't even begin to list how many different ways there are to lose weight better and other than cardio. Ever been in the hospital for longer than two weeks? You come out weighing less, but you didn't do a lick of cardio; that should disprove this myth right there.


- IF YOU'RE NOT SORE, YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH: False, False, FALSE!


- IF YOU WANT TO GET STRONGER, LIFT HEAVIER WEIGHTS: Strength can increase with using both weights or even your body weight. Heavyweight and low reps will yield the same results as medium weight and high reps. The same goes for the myth, "If you want to get bigger, lift heavier."


- SWEAT TELLS HOW HARD YOUR WORKED: No. Sweat is an indicator of your internal body temperature. Sweat tells how hot the room is. Sweat is an indicator of humidity. You're going to sweat more when the place is 78-80 degrees than if it's 65-75 degrees. If you're prone to lower body temperature like I am, You're going to sweat as much as someone else.


- WHEN BENCH PRESSING, THE BAR SHOULD TOUCH YOUR CHEST: What a great way to cause injury to your shoulders and possible crack your sternum with repeated bouncing off your chest to get the weight up. Not to mention knocking out a significant amount of air from your lungs doing this, causing you to hold your breath while you strain to put the weight back up, putting you at risk for a hernia, or passing out and dropping the weights on yourself. Stopping at an inch or so before touching your chest is proper technique.


- SQUATS ARE BAD FOR YOUR LOWER BODY: Wrong. Bad squat form is bad for your body. True, squats can and WILL cause severe injury if done incorrectly, especially if you're one of those squatters who bounce off their knees to get the weight back up. However, appropriately executed, squats are unrivaled in the area of leg development.


- SPORTS DRINKS ARE BETTER THAN WATER: One word... SUGAR!!!


- BIGGER MEANS STRONGER: False. I've seen some of the biggest guys in the gym bench 250 easily, but can't curl worth a damn. I've also seen 185-pound guys put up some serious weight. It's all about your training program.


- IT'S BEST TO DO CARDIO FIRST: I hate cardio, so I do it last, but some people choose cardio first to get it out of the way. Otherwise, they'll talk themselves out of it at the end of their workout, or they feel they won't have enough energy to do it after burning themselves out from their exercise. Cardio is cardio, no matter when you do it, as long as you do it.


- LIGHTWEIGHT/HIGH REPS TONE FASTER: Proper form tones faster. The tearing and rebuilding of muscle fibers through repetitive movement is what tones the body. Ensure proper form and extension/retraction.


- SAUNA SUITS: Just stop! True, you burn calories, but that's the result of the exercises being performed and not because you're wearing a sweatsuit made from a heavy-duty trash bag. It's all water weight loss anyway. As soon as you're sauna suit workout is done, you'll grab a bottle of water and put it all RIGHT BACK ON!


- STEP MACHINES/EXERCISES INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR BUTT: False. "Step" exercises, target hips, thighs, butt, core, and calves to name a few. You have a big butt because you have a big butt. Stepping burns calories and fat, therefore, giving the illusion that your rear end is bigger when in actuality, you're just losing body fat from those areas.


- IT TAKES AT LEAST 20 MINUTES OF CARIO TO BE BENEFICIAL: False. Any high-intensity training is going to burn calories, whether cardio, cross-training, weight/strength training or whatever floats your boat for that day. Not to mention, depending on the type of cardio one is doing because some are more beneficial than others and can equal far more burnt calories in 10 minutes than 30 minutes doing others.


- YOU NEED TO STRETCH BEFORE WORKING OUT: True, stretching does warm up the muscles and prevents injuries, sprain, and strains, but so does warm-up exercises. You don't want to lie down and immediately benchpress 225 lbs., cold. Warm up with a set or two at 75-100 lbs., Just as good as stretching.


- YOGA ISN'T WORKING OUT: You've never done yoga!


- LEAN MUSCLE: There's no such thing as, "Lean muscle" ALL muscle is lean, just like ground beef; 75% lean/25% fat. The body works the same way.


- YOU CAN TURN FAT INTO MUSCLE: That's just fucking ridiculous! They're two COMPLETELY different materials! Muscle resides UNDER fat, and as you burn fat, the muscle is what's left. You can build UP your muscles.


- SIT UP/CRUNCHES ARE BEST FOR ABS: They don't hurt, but not the best, and they will not give you a six-pack. Your abs/core work better for your body when you're standing, so it would make sense to perform exercises from the same position, right?


- RUNNING IS BAD FOR YOUR KNEES: Shitty shoes with poor support, improper insoles, weak quads, and hamstrings are wrong for your knees when you run. The base of your feet are designed to spread upon contact with the ground when running so improper shoe fit or lacing your shoes way too tight will also cause discomfort.


- ABS ARE DIVIDED INTO 3 AREAS: Low, middle, upper abs. It's all one muscle. If you look at a diagram of your ab muscles, it one big muscle. It feels like three because of the very top fatigues first, then the middle and leading to the bottom.


- RUNNING IS THE BEST WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT: False. Running is a good way to burn calories and improve cardiorespiratory fitness. Weight training burns fat more than running.


- ALL CARDIO MACHINES DO PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING: NO, NO, NO!!! The treadmill and bike focus more on cardiorespiratory health and calorie burn while step, elliptical, and cross trainers focus more on cardiovascular health and fat burn.


     As if walking into the gym for the first time isn't bad enough, we don't need garbage stuck in our head that's going to frustrate or cause us to give up or even injure ourselves because we don't know any better. The best thing I can say is to do your research. Find out what works for you and your goals. When people try to give you advice, take it for what it is and allow them to move on. Practice gym courtesy and above all, stay motivated and dedicated. Your results will come, and you'll be glad you started and stuck with it.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

IMITATION CHEATS

January 26, 2019

BY D.K. LION

FASTER THAN A CHEATING BULLET PT. 5

     Why WOMEN cheat is the final installation of the Faster Than A Cheating Bullet series. Both men and women cheat for many of the same reasons; there are a few differences, causes, and situations that are specific to women and why they cheat. For one, women don't usually cheat for just wanting to fuck. Unlike men, women don't often go out for the night with the intention of just looking for dick. Even if she is, she can and will maintain her standard the entire night and would instead go home and get herself off before bringing or going home with someone who she views as beneath her standard.


     Women are significantly better at cheating than men. A woman will cheat with the ability to keep it to herself, essentially taking it to her metaphorical grave. Women don't cheat to brag to her friends about how much dick she can get. She doesn't care about kudos, hi-fives, or receiving accolades for quantity. Women are more capable of ending a cheating situation than men. She can meet a guy, fuck him that night, see him the next weekend and walk right by him without a second look. She can see him at work and pretend nothing ever happened. She can also work on the same project with him without being uncomfortable in the least bit.


     A woman won't cheat with a good man who's in a good relationship with a good woman. She knows he's a good man and she's wasting her time. Or if she knows he has a great woman, she won't risk putting that other woman through what she's gone through in the past herself. On the other hand, women are more likely to lie and tell a man she's not looking for anything more than just sex, knowing it's a lie, especially if she knows he's a good guy. She'll flirt, use subtle hints and innuendos, but when he doesn't take the bait, she'll play it off as, "Just joking."


     Even if just for short-term sex, a woman still has to find the man she cheats with attractive on some level, whether physically or mentally. Where men will fuck a woman built like a trash bag of crumpled up the paper and dry sticks, a woman has to find chemistry with the other man; meaning, women are more likely to cheat with someone she already knows, works with, or interacts with on a regular or semi-regular basis. Women, "happen to cheat" they don't leave the house for the night, hoping or looking for somebody to cheat with. A woman will end up cheating for emotional reassurance/stability. Her needs aren't being met at home. Women are more inclined to cheat emotionally before cheating physically.


     Women are more likely to cheat, realize how damaging an affair can be, learn her lesson, and never do it again, even if she gets away with it. Women are more likely to admit having an affair, even if there's little to no chance of her man finding out about it. Because women are more biochemical and cheat for more emotional-based reasons, they're more likely to leave their relationship for the man they cheated with, or just to be by themselves, to, "find themselves." She'll jump from one relationship right into another, not taking adequate time to heal or get over her previous relationship, whether she was the cheater or the cheated. Women will jump from ship to ship, while men will try to fuck his ex out of his system with random pussy.


     A woman will ALMOST always cheat UP, about looks, money, etc. Where men will cheat with anything with an ass and tits. A woman will NOT cheat with someone who's less of a catch than the man she's with. A woman in a relationship with a successful man won't cheat with a man on welfare. A woman won't cheat with a good man who makes a good living for them with an aspiring 35-year-old gas station worker who's STILL trying to chase his dreams of being a pro ball player or rapper.


     In the workplace, while men are more inclined to cheat DOWN the corporate ladder, women will cheat with someone of an equal position or HIGHER. Women are more likely to develop feelings for the man she's cheating with, and she'll be more likely to hold his job over his head if/when he tries to end it or wants to date someone else in the company. If a woman cheats for just sex, she'll be up front about it, and she'll only fuck that other man once, maybe twice, then she's done. The last thing she wants is to risk the other man catching feelings for her or vice versa. If she cheats with you and doesn't initiate contact info, don't even bother to ask for hers or offer yours, she's not interested.


     Women cheat due to lack of intimacy in her relationship, lack of communication. Hypersexuality coupled with a man who's lost interest in her or is cheating himself could also lead to her infidelity. She'll cheat because she wants to be with the man she's cheating with. A woman will cheat for revenge. A woman will cheat to rebuild her self-confidence/self-esteem. Women cheat because they feel hindered, but can be sexually free and expressive with the other man than in her relationship. Feelings of neglect or unappreciation will also persuade a woman to seek emotional support and satisfaction outside her relationship. Prior or present emotional, physical, or sexual abuse can also contribute to a woman not being able to commit to healthy monogamous relationships. When cornered with even semi-circumstantial evidence. A woman will cop to having an affair. She's less likely to lie about it. A woman would immediately begin to apologize, but won't try to deny it.


     Because women are more prone to cheat emotionally BEFORE physically, her signs are more gradual and subtle, making it much more difficult to pick up on by her partner. While the majority of the signs between men and women can be/are similar, there are a few that are specific to women.

Women will become critical of their relationship, criticizing everything her man does, no matter how insignificant it seems. They'll complain about the smallest things and make who left the cap off the toothpaste into a fucking motion picture-quality production. She'll show less and less respect and call her man out in public, in front of anyone and everyone.

     

     Women will start paying more attention to how she looks and take a more active interest in her physical fitness and her body. She'll begin to wear sexier, more provocative clothing and start going out with her girlfriends more. She may start to drinking or drinking more than usual. She'll flood social media with posts and pictures of herself and of her friends out having fun. Her friends will act differently around her man if they know she's cheating. Of course the increase of unexplained texts, calls, and emails. Her daily routine will change, spending more time away from home.

Just like men, signs could come in reverse; the relationship can turn a complete 180 degrees for the better; in HIS mind. She'll become more adventurous in the bedroom, expressing more of her sexual self. A woman who's cheating will embrace her submissive side more and allow/encourage her man to be more dominant, due to the fact the man she's cheating with has shown her aside to her sexuality she's never experienced, and now she craves it. Where men show more emotional improvement when he's cheating, women show more sexual improvement.


     Whether man or woman, emotional or sexual, when the truth comes to light, a decision has to be made; whether to stay and reconcile or end the relationship and move on. If you choose to stay, wipe the slate clean as possible; don't pretend to bury the ax and leave the handle sticking out to swing every chance you get. No one says you have to forget, but if you're going to forgive, then forgive. If you choose to end it and move on, take the time necessary to heal your heart. It's going to take longer than a few days, weeks, even months. Before moving on to another relationship, make sure you're ready.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CHEAT THRILLS

January 22, 2019

BY D.K. LION

FASTER THAN A CHEATING BULLET PT. 4

     Why do men cheat? In part 4 of Faster Than A Cheating Bullet we're sitting down to the table, and getting to the meat and potatoes. People step out of their relationships to seek physical or emotional validation and satisfaction from somewhere or someone other than their partner. Both men and women cheat, but for different reasons. To say one cheats more than the other is a falsehood, but men always seem to get caught more so than women; mostly because men are fucking dumb as fuck when they cheat.


     Men feel it necessary to brag about every sexual exploit and conquest to their friends to bathe themselves in their admiration and envy. What he fails to realize is that same thinking is what gets his dumb ass caught. It may never even occur to him that one of his, "friends" will turn right around and set him up to get caught so he can swoop in and snatch his lady from right under his ass.


     Men do stupid shit when they cheat. Not only will they brag about fucking around on their lady, but they'll also take women they're cheating without to all the places he goes with his woman, thinking he'll look like a player or a ladies man. In essence, everyone who sees him and knows he has a lady isn't staring at him because they think he's cool; women are looking at him, thinking, "What an asshole!" Other men are thinking, "This stupid motherfucker!" Men will start off being super spy careful with how they cheat. They'll have all their bases covered, a foolproof plan, and execute that plan with flawless accuracy. After a while, he'll get comfortable with his success and begin to cut corners, resulting in him getting caught.


- In the beginning, a man will receive intimate photos from another woman and delete them almost immediately. He'll get used to his lady not touching his phone, so he'll start to save them after a while. The same goes for sexual/romantic text messages or emails. He'll even actually start to show his friends these photos and messages.


- In the beginning, a man will either resort to car sex or will go back to the other woman's place to fuck. Then he'll start to bring women back to his place because he's too fucking cheap to pay for a room. Or his lady has to work the next day, is going out of town, etc. so he'll plan for her not to come over, even though she has a key to his place.


- He'll be careful not to get caught in pictures she takes with her phone until one night he gets drunk and ends up on social media.


- When it comes to children, they'll lie about stealing a cookie before dinner, brushing their teeth, breaking a plate or coffee mug, or even leaving the back door open; they WON'T lie about who comes over when the lady of the house isn't there. A 4-year-old will not lie about, "Aunt Carol from down the street" coming over and she and daddy went upstairs and locked the bedroom door.


- STD... What the fuck?? If a man has a legitimate reason (Bladder infection, UTI, etc.) He'll tell his woman about it and leave the antibiotics in the medicine cabinet or on the counter/table. If he's hiding it, he's got some shit wrong with his dick.


- As I've said before, men not only won't admit to having or being treated for an STD/STI, he won't even get tested between partners, unless he feels he has an immediate reason to.


- Something as simple as checking his pockets before getting in his car. After a while, he'll get lazy and forget to empty the random phone numbers and used condom wrappers from his pocket. He may even be so dumb that he'll wait until morning to locate and toss the condom wrapper, that couldn't found in the car the night before because he was so drunk.


- In the beginning, he'll make sure to delete the phone call/map history on his GPS. His lady NEVER drives his car, so he got lazy and stopped clearing it every night; until he wakes up one morning and remembers her vehicle is in the shop and took him to work.


     Men will cheat, get away with it, think he's a fucking super spy, and continue to cheat until he's caught and castrated, even with video footage, multiple sworn statements, witnesses accounts, texts, call logs, etc. A man will deny he cheated to his dying breath. He'll reach into the deepest part of the pocket of his pants he bought from the ridiculous fucking shit to say store and pull out some ridiculous fucking shit to say in his defense when he's caught.


     When confronted with evidence of his cheating, a man will attempt to deflect the conversation and attention from himself to her. He'll accuse her of being jealous, possessive, or continuously suspicious. He'll even get defensive and attack her for violating his privacy and trust when he finds out you went through his phone, text, emails, etc. A man will try anything to take the focus off himself. He'll get angry or insulted that you had to go super spy yourself to catch him. When caught in the act, men will try to lie their way out. A woman will try to run away from the situation. Sooner or later they both will come back (sometimes days later) and attempt to apologize for it. The truth is that neither are apologizing for the affair, they're apologizing because they got caught or because they hurt you. Don't get confused or be fooled.


     Men will try to cheat outside their league; meaning a bald, chubby, loser of a guy will not only try to cheat with someone who can OBVIOUSLY do better than him, but he'll also honestly believe he DESERVES it. Men go out, looking to step out on his partner, with the intent to cheat. He plans for it and will drive home at the end of the night, pissed off at the world because he couldn't find some pussy to fuck. But when he gets home, he's not the least bit interested in fucking his woman. A man will blame his cheating on some sexual addiction. Which again, is 1000% BULLSHIT! If were, "addicted to sex, why hasn't he fucked his wife or girlfriend in over three months? He's not addicted to sex; he wants to fuck new, random pussy.


     In the professional world, Men cheat more with their subordinates; support staff, secretaries, junior partners, clerks, etc. with the promise of leaving their wives, "As soon as the time is right." Men will string these women along for as long as they can while the other woman eventually develops more and more of an emotional connection with this man, thinking he'll eventually divorce his wife and leave his family for her. In hopes of speeding up the process, she'll agree to any and every deviant sexual act he can come up with. Men cheat with younger females. Otherwise, he may as well stay home and fuck his wife. He'll believe she's gotten too old and he deserves someone younger on his arm. He may not come right out and admit it, but rest assured, pretty much everyone in the office knows he's fucking his secretary/assistant.


     A man will tell his woman he got bit in the dick by a Boomslang snake and the woman wasn't sucking his dick, she was sucking out the poison, and will get mad when she doesn't believe him. Not to say every WOMAN will admit to cheating when confronted, but they sure as hell won't tell her man she was choking on some food and the guy was trying to dislodge it with his dick. A man caught with another woman bent over the hood of his car will try to convince his lady they weren't fucking; he was INNOCENTLY walking through the parking lot, noticed a woman had stopped breathing and was applying a new style of CPR he read about online.


     Men are less likely to leave a relationship after cheating, even if he's developed feelings for the woman he's cheating with. He'll stay with his lady and fuck as many women as he can until they piece shit together or find out he ain't shit. They'll tell him to go fuck himself as they walk out the door, but he could care less; after all, he still has his MAIN lady to go back to. Men cheat more for physical pleasure. Men are more likely to cheat with someone who is less attractive than their partner. If her ass is big/thick enough, he'll fuck a woman who looks like she was face-fucked by a swarm of bees.


     Again, why cheat? Why not just end the relationship amicably and go your separate ways? Why go through the cloak and dagger bullshit? Why deal with the stress of lying, then lying to cover up the lies you already told? Then you have to lie to support the lies you've told, PLUS, keep track of ALL the lies you've had to come up with? Because a man doesn't want to risk leaving his lady for pussy, he may not want fuck after only a few times. He knows he has a damn good woman and he'd be dumb as hell for leaving. Some men are so fucked up in the head, they may not even WANT to be in a relationship, but they'll be damned if another man ends up with his woman and the idea of someone else treating her like the princess she is would kill him. A man's ultimate fantasy is to have a damn good woman at home who's fine as fuck, but will also let him go out and fuck other women whenever he wants and still treat him like a king.


     There's an old saying when it comes to cheating, "If he cheats WITH you, he'll cheat ON you!" And that's the truth. What the fuck makes you so different that if a man cheats with you, leave his lady or family for you, that he won't do the same to you if or when something better comes along and catches his eye?


     Men cheat because when it comes to pussy they can be shady as fuck and habitual liars, Men will sell out at least 60% of his friends for pussy if he wants to fuck THAT bad. Men cheat because they're insecure. There are a lot of guys who know they're severely limited to what they actually have to offer in regards to women.


     They wrap themselves in false bravado and liquid courage. Men brag about how much money they have, what they drive, or their history. Men cheat because they're immature; they don't want to commit to a monogamous relationship; they may never want to. He's damaged from a previous relationship. Whether he admits it or not, when a man has honestly given his heart to a woman, and his heart gets broken, it takes far longer for him to recover. Men cheat for self-preservation. They want to avoid being hurt, so they limit themselves to the level of commitment they're willing to invest.


     Men have unreasonable expectations. They want a chef in the kitchen, a 4-star maid for the home, and an acrobat in the bedroom. He wants his woman to meet HIS needs and ignore hers. He cheats because he's bored. The thrill of the hunt appeals to him. He's confused about the difference between like, love, and lust, or he just doesn't care.


     Men require a constant need to feel validated, wanted, or desired by women. Men cheat because some time in their history they were emasculated. Men cheat because they secretly want to end their present relationship. For some reason, it makes more sense for him to get caught and dumped than, to be honest, and end the relationship. Long distance may also be a factor. Peer pressure can also lead to deciding to cheat. Acceptance from the alpha male of his social circle or even to re-enforce his staus in the circle can lead to infidelity. A man can also learn about cheating from his parents or parental influences; however, it can go both ways. A man can learn to cheat/view cheating as acceptable due to witnessing infidelity in his parents. 


     On the OTHER hand, he can also witness the damage cheating can cause and avoid it at all costs.

Men are quick to accuse when they're super-ultra jealous and possessive. The reason for their behavior can be guilty of cheating themselves. Men will become judgemental about their partner; they'll point out every flaw, no matter how minute or insignificant, while convincing themselves the person they're cheating with would be a better choice. I will avoid confrontation about cheating. He's cheated in the past. Men will become mean and disrespectful; starting arguments whenever he can or blame the partner for everything wrong in the relationship or even their own personal issues and problems.


     Communication will fall off to almost non-existent. Sex/intimacy will come to a standstill, or he will act like sex is more of an inconvenient obligation instead of an enjoyable experience. Men will guard their phone like the stone tablets bearing the ten commandments. They'll leave the room every time their phone rings and claim they didn't want to disturb you. The unexplained increase in random calls and texts. His phone is ALWAYS either on silent or just plain out of sight. His phone is always upside down.


     An almost dead giveaway is the change in the way he speaks on the phone. A man doesn't talk to a woman the way he talks to his friends; his tone, inflection, volume, even the words he uses will tell who he's speaking with. When he's talking to a woman, his voice will get softer, deeper, and more romantic. He'll not only enthusiastically encourage, but he'll practically insist on frequent outings with her friends and even trips out of town without him. He'll plan a trip for the two of them they have to bail at the last minute for work, family emergency, or something and will suggest she take one of her friends instead.


     Don't rely solely on your gut, but if a woman has a strong feeling her man's not faithful at the very least, it's worth looking in to. She'll catch him in small lies at first, graduating into larger ones. Charges on the credit card or money missing from the bank account. Receipts for items you know you don't have, or for meals, you weren't the recipient of. His friends who know will act differently towards you. His everyday routine will change. He'll have to work late more often or go out of town more. He won't answer his phone.


     There are those instances when things begin to go the other way; they improve dramatically. After a lengthy dry spell, the relationship will suddenly turn for the better; much better than they've ever been before. He'll become more affectionate and attentive. Sex will improve and become more frequent. He'll try things in the bedroom he's never tried before.


      Whatever the reason a man will cheat may not make sense to her, or anyone else. It may be the absolute most ridiculous reason on the fucking planet, as long as it makes sense to HIM, that's all that matters. My advice is to never ask why; what's the point? He cheated, got caught and if you've decided to end the relationship, knowing the reason won't make any difference whatsoever. Even if the purpose is closure for herself. But before you choose to get back out there, jump into another relationship and bring the pain, heartache, and malice with you, take the time to recover. Heal and revitalize yourself. A certain level of emotional baggage will always follow along with you, but don't put the next man in a place where he has to pay for or account for what the last man did to you because you were still damaged.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CREDIT SCORE

January 11, 2019

BY D.K. LION

Click Here to Add a Title

     On a regular basis, we see single women working their fingers to the bone, trying to provide their children with everything they need, and sometimes the things they want when some shitty, asshat of an of man heads for the door or goes ghost on her when she tells him she's pregnant. It doesn't make it any better, but some men wait until after the baby's been born and he realizes it's not what he wants. After a divorce, men will not only walk away from their marriage but also their children for another woman that may not want to shoulder that responsibility or the man may no longer want it because he's searching for a partner who has no interest in taking on HIS children.


     It's not like this woman can do the same, so she's forced to become mom and dad; the protector, the provider, the breadwinner, and the role model. Balancing work and home life, these women definitely deserve to be recognized and regarded as true heroes and survivors.


     Unfortunately, in doing so, people tend to overlook another side of this social coin; the second man. The second man is the guy who steps up to enter a relationship with a single mother, especially a single mother of multiple small children and raise them as his own. As we herald the woman for all the hard work and sacrifice she makes for her children, the second man is almost always overlooked for his choice to shoulder the responsibility of not only raising his children from a previous relationship but taking on another man's children. This man's sacrifice should be credited just as much as a woman's.


     The second man jumps in feet first into a family dynamic that has already been somewhat established without his participation. Whether he's a bachelor or a single father himself, he's sailing in uncharted waters, using a map drawn from his own experiences, attempting to navigate this journey with.


     One more member of this dynamic that gets even less credit for his sacrifice would be the bachelor who chooses to cash in his bachelor life to be with a woman with children from another relationship. Unlike the man who already has children, the bachelor is the epitome, the pinnacle of superhero status. He trades in his 2-door sports coupe for a minivan or crossover, his bachelor pad for a house in the suburbs, his man room turned into a nursery or toy room. His Friday nights out with his friends are now reserved for the family game night. This man CHOOSES to turn his entire life around for a woman and her children; this man deserves the same recognition and credit a woman gets for her personal sacrifices.

 

     The next time you see or meet a full-time or 50/50 mother or you know of a woman who's taking care of her children on her own while applauding her for doing the best she can with what she has, remember the second man. If she's found a man who loves her and her children and he's chosen to invite all of them into his life as well while giving that woman credit for doing what she needs to do to provide for her children, consider the sacrifices that man's making as well. There are more than enough men out in the world who ain't doing shit for their kids, they're just out there having more and more kids and bolting out the door. Let's put our hands together for the ones who are, let's give credit where recognition is deserved. Raise your hand for the second man.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

WOLF IN CHEATS' CLOTHING

December 30, 2018

BY D.K. LION

FASTER THAN A CHEATING BULLET PT. 3

DISCLAIMER

The people named in this particular article are 100% fictional. Any actions or similar situations that may have happened are coincidental.

~~~~~~

     In part three of this 4-part article, I'm going to focus on something I can almost guarantee most of you haven't given much or any thought to whatsoever. The fact that a large percentage of people don't even consider it a possibility, it doesn't make it any less of a dangerous weapon in relationships. It's an EXTREMELY formidable weapon, sharper than a katana blade, silent like a ninja hits harder than a wrecking ball and can cause as much damage as a nuclear warhead. It can strike out of nowhere, approached from any angle, and can take on many forms, like a chameleon. Even in the hands of a rookie, it has the destructive force of five small children left unsupervised in the toy section of a retail store at Christmas time.


     What is this, "Weapon" that can cause so much unspeakable damage? The one, the only, the SET-UP.


     I'm not talking about setting someone up to meet someone, I'm talking about being set up when/if your partner thinks you're being unfaithful and want concrete proof before bouncing your ass to the curb, or choosing to seek revenge, depending on how bad you fucked up and what you were caught doing.


     First of all, I think it's necessary to accept a little bit of abstract truth before getting too far into this subject. At some point in time, depending on how long you've been together, whether you're a man or woman, one of your friends, acquaintances, whoever has had a crush on or feelings for your partner. Second, if someone cheats WITH you, they'll cheat ON you. Don't get pissed if the person you cheated with and broke up your relationship cheats on you! Last, but certainly not least, one of the most golden of relationship rules: NEVER, EVER, EVER TELL YOUR FRIENDS HOW GOOD YOUR PARTNER IS SEXUALLY!! You're just asking for trouble!!!


     There is a list of rules and etiquette when it comes to the set-up. Women will snitch to another woman about her man but won't lie in him. On the other hand, men will lie to another woman about her man, but won't snitch on him. For example, ...


- Sarah will tell Megan her man, Jimmy was doing something dirty, but Sarah won't lie to Megan about it.


- Jimmy won't snitch to Mike about Sarah's infidelity, but he WILL lie to one of Sarah's friends, hoping it gets back to Mike.


     On a side note, after a breakup, women find it necessary to think it's their responsibility to, "Warn" another woman about what her EX did to her, and she should stay away from that man. The fact of the matter is that woman who calls herself, "Looking out" for the new lady her EX is dating or might be talking to has absolutely NOTHING to do with that other woman; she's doing it out of revenge, spite, anger, or heartbreak. If Jimmy and Megan broke up three months ago and Megan sees Jimmy out with someone new, or even just talking to someone, she'll either wait until he excuses himself or she'll walk right up and proceed to tell the new woman how much of a shitbag Jimmy was. Megan doesn't give a damn about that woman, and her goal is to make Jimmy's night miserable. What she says may be true, even quite possibly embellished, but the truth of the matter is Megan will be damned if Jimmy finds someone else or moves on before she does.


     While men don't see it as their place too, "warn" another man about his EX in any aspect, he WILL lie to another man about a woman he doesn't know to get him out of the way, so he can get his chance at her.


     Another undeniable truth is that no matter how fucked up a woman will tell a stranger, or her friends how fucked up her EX may have cheated on her, if applicable, she will absolutely, positively NEVER admit to her own bullshit, using the old fallback line, "We're not talking about me!"

When discussing the set-up, there are numerous sides to its use and can be used not only catch your partner or exonerate them, but also test your friendship.


- Sarah will ask Jimmy to make a move on Megan to prove her loyalty to their friendship.


- Sarah will ask Jimmy to make a move on Megan but ask Megan to go along with it to prove Jimmy is a cheater.


- It's a rare reversal, but it does sometimes happen where a woman will take it on herself to make a move on her best friend's man, to prove how shitty he is. But you have to be careful with this one, because if your friendship not strong enough, it's easy for this tactic to backfire, making the friend appear shady as hell, so it's best to avoid this one, or at least inform your friend or someone else they trust before proceeding.


     On the other side of the coin, Mike may have feelings for Sarah and will set Jimmy up while they're out for the night, only to run back to his lady or a mutual female friend, knowing she'll run back and tell Sarah. Trust me when I say to you, A woman will do the same if she has feelings for her friend's man.


- Mike will take Jimmy out for a drink or whatever and convince him that if he hooks up with the woman that's been all over him the whole night, his secret's safe and he can even take this woman back to HIS place for sex. Little does Jimmy know Mike's got a video camera set up, plans to tell Sarah everything (And of course add a few extra lies on top of it), or even call Sara and invite her over to catch Jimmy in the act.


     My personal opinion is if a person needs to go to any of these lengths to convince themselves or someone, they know their partner isn't 100% with them, chances are something is going on, and a few conversations need to be had between those two people. If a person finds themselves attracted to or plotting the breakup of someone they know, rest assured, karma will come back with the vengeance of a biblical flood and hopefully wash your shady ass out to sea, never to seen or heard from again.


     One more thing; if you're going to take someone else's word that your partner isn't faithful, check, double-check, even triple-check your references, ensuring they're from credible sources. Also, if it's from your "Best friend" there's no harm in asking how they came about the information they're giving you. Is it an eyewitness account, from someone you trust without reproach, or did they hear it from a friend of a friend who met your partner once at a BBQ 3 months ago? You'll definitely kick yourself in the ass if you have to apologize for taking the word of someone who wanted to break you up or over a case of mistaken identity.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

CHEATER BY THE DOZEN

December 23, 2018

BY D.K. LION

FASTER THAN A CHEATING BULLET Pt. 2

     While writing the first part of this 4-part article, I felt it only fair to point out something a lot of people don't give much thought to; the difference between physical and emotional infidelity. Granted, most people will agree that a man sticking his dick into anything other than his lady, or a woman allowing anyone other than her man to penetrate her vaginally, orally, or anally would be viewed as cheating without a doubt, but the act of forming an emotional or mental bond with someone, other than your partner is also a recognized form of cheating, even if there hasn't been any physical contact yet, and I stress the word, "YET".


     What is viewed as emotional infidelity will differ between men and women, and in many cases, on the level of the bond that has formed between the individuals involved? What one person may consider harmless flirting or even just plain conversation to one, may be viewed as disrespectful or hurtful to another, even when it comes to the people involved. An emotional relationship can be formed by accident, without either person realizing it, or intentional by one or both parties. It can begin as innocently as one person noticing that something may be wrong or, "Off" about the other's normal behavior. Even after a harmless inquiry, they've taken the first steps toward an emotional relationship or connection.


     Emotional cheating can be also viewed as an inappropriate friendship, depending on who you ask; there's no definite line to cross between friendship and an emotional affair, which may or may not lead to anything physical. The best way to determine if a friendship is, in fact, an inappropriate emotional connection is whether or not it would bother you if your partner was in the same position with another person. Basically, if you're not okay with the interaction between your partner and someone else, most likely your partner won't be okay with you being in the exact same situation. Better yet, ask yourself how your partner would react if they read a written dialogue of the conversations you have with that other person.


There is and can be a gray area to be considered when discussing prior friendships. You can't expect someone to end all their old friendships, just because you've entered a new relationship, as long as it remains exactly that; a friendship. When asking yourself if you're in danger of that line being crossed, the first thing to accept is that if you even have to ask or wonder, most likely you've already crossed the line, and it's pretty much on its way to an eventual physical affair. However, in case you're genuinely naive' or a stupid fucking idiot, the warning signs are pretty clear...


- Not being upfront or lying to your partner about the past or how close your friendship really is or was.


- Complaining about your partner to your friend; talking about your problems and/or seeking advice. Also, providing too much information about your relationship can be an indicator as well...


- Defending the friendship when your partner clearly has an issue with it.


- You share big news with them before your partner. Confiding in someone other than your partner is pretty much fucking stupid too.


- Inappropriate compliments, innuendos, messages, pictures, etc. Calls or texts at weird times. If your friend is sending you a "Good morning" text on a Saturday morning, or sharing details of their date from the previous night, especially if it didn't go very well, that's probably a solid indicator there's more than just a friendship brewing!


- You've made your partner a substitute friend.


- Covering up your contact history. You're deleting texts and call history, even if there's nothing questionable being discussed because you're concerned your partner wouldn't, "Understand" your friendship and would get unnecessarily upset. Remember, just because YOU don't see anything wrong, doesn't mean your partner shouldn't. If you feel the need to hide how much you communicate with someone else, that's an obvious sign it's an inappropriate amount.


- You put the friend's feelings, concerns, ideas, etc. ahead of your partner.


- Showing or acting like you're a couple when you're hanging out. Trust me, we're all adults and SHOULD be capable of handling a situation that may come up when the two of you are, "Hanging out" or whatever. There's no need to pretend to be a couple because some other guy won't take no for an answer. Nor does HE need his female friend to be all over him, acting like his lady to prevent other women from approaching him. Having work or social-setting, "Wife/Husband" is also a bad idea, that also includes having a, "Crush" on someone else.


- Lying about how the friend really looks, in reference to being physically attractive. In the same respect though, don't be fucking stupid and refer to them as being, "Smoking hot" either!


- Spending more time with your friend than necessary. This includes staying at work after hours or after you're off to interact with them. Taking on extra work when you know they're going to be around. You can't stop thinking about them or anticipate seeing them the next day is also a bad sign. Planning to spend time alone together or allowing to happen is also a HUGE no-no!


- Be careful of how much you talk about the other person to your partner. Nothing would give them a reason to question you faster than if every other word that comes out your mouth has to do with the other person.


- You start unnecessary fights/arguments over the most trivial things. Do you really expect your partner to think you're THAT pissed off about what type of BBQ sauce you used to coat the fucking chicken, or that you brought home orange juice from concentrate, instead of freshly squeezed with fucking pulp?


- Giving and receiving gifts from someone other than your partner can be a tricky and slippery situation, depending on how personal and expensive the gift is. a good rule of thumb is if it's something you'd be okay with your partner giving or receiving as a gift, you're probably in the safe zone.


- You compare them to your partner. Never, EVER verbally compare how your friend would react to a situation in retaliation to a reaction your partner may have to the same situation.


- Changes in your appearance. You dress differently when you know you're going to see or be around them. Don't think your partner doesn't notice the new clothes you're wearing, the cologne/perfume, even the soap you wash your ass with. You're taking the time to iron your clothes, down to the socks. You start working out, changing the way you behave, and spend your leisure time; instead of sports every waking minute of your life, now you're reading classics, learning a new language, reading the fucking dictionary, etc. Also, changes in the music you listen to. Going from your normal, "Bitches and Hoes" to sexier "Slow Groove" music and vice versa will DEFINITELY raise a red flag with your partner.


- Sex with your partner gets different. Whether better or worse, nothing will alert your partner to something being wrong faster than the sudden change in the frequency or type of sex you're having. If it drops, you'll give the impression you're no longer interested or getting it somewhere else. If it increases, they'll think you're overcompensating for something that may be going on behind their back. And yet, if it becomes more adventurous and beyond the normal, you may also get yourself in trouble.


- You don't or won't introduce your friend to your partner. There's ALWAYS a reason or excuse as to why they can never meet. But be careful about treating your partner differently if/when they ever DID meet; because you'll have a shitload of explaining to do for the next few days!


- It bothers you if someone else shows interest in your friend. You find yourself getting bent out of shape if one of your friends inquire about them or they show a mutual attraction for each other. You become critical of every person that shows an interest in getting to know them or spend time with them, taking their time away from you. You criticize who they may be dating, or you inquire about the health of their relationship if applicable.


     So, how can you avoid crossing the line between just friends and an unintentional inappropriate emotional situation? For one, be honest with your partner about the friendship and allow them the opportunity to digest the information and communicate their feeling about it. If the two of you have a past history, don't hide it; it's a lot easier and genuine to admit your past than to have to explain it when they're pissed at you or they think there may be something going on between you. Encourage them to be just as honest with you about their feelings about the situation. Actually, listen to them and be considerate of how they feel, even if you don't agree or believe they're making too much out of nothing; trying to defend an outside relationship with an opposite-sex friend will most likely come off as you are being defensive or dismissive of your partner's feelings.


- Make sure the other person knows what you have is just a friendship, nothing more. Take the time to reaffirm the relationship with your partner so they know there's no chance of anything more. It may be awkward at first, but if they're TRULY just your friend, they'll understand, and it won't be an issue.


- Introduce your friend and your partner as soon as possible. Allow and encourage the opportunity for interaction between all of you.


- Put boundaries in place; don't do stupid shit like sending each other inappropriate messages or playful innuendos, don’t put yourself in situations to where you'd be alone together or caught at each other's place. Don't play the "Work wife/Work husband" game. Be careful about what you talk about to that other person and keep your business to yourself; don't talk about issues or problems you might be having in your relationship to that other person.


- Be careful how much you talk about the other person, how much you communicate, as well as the content of your discussions. "Babe, this is just how we talk." isn't a good enough reason to justify some of the shit you may say/talk to each other about. Confide in your partner, not your friend when it comes to personal things you may want to discuss or want advice about.


     DON'T EVER ASK, CRITICIZE, TALK ABOUT, OR SEEK ADVICE ABOUT PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX!! If your problem or issue is your partner, it only makes sense and safer for your relationship to try to talk to your partner first. If that's not an option for whatever reason, seek out a relative, then a same-sex close friend. Be careful with who you go to for advice, because that same-sex friend just may have feelings for your partner and wouldn't hesitate to use what you've told them to possibly drive a deeper wedge between you and your partner. Trust me, it happens a lot more than you may think.


- Be wary of giving or receiving gifts from your friend and be honest with your partner about it.


- If at any point it becomes or even feels like the lines are blurred in the slightest bit, it's most likely time to end the friendship.


     Can people of the opposite sex be just friends? Absolutely. I have opposite-sex friends I've never had feelings for or an attraction to. I have female friends I've dated and slept with. The lesson I've learned is to just be honest from the beginning about who they are and always remember if you have to ask, it's probably not a good idea.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

THE LIES HAVE IT PT. 2

December 14, 2018

BY D.K. LION

LYING IN WAIT

     "LYING IN WAIT"


     Here's another, a fresh batch of common lies that needs to be addressed...


     "SHE'S/HE'S JUST A FRIEND" Sure, that may be true now, but if your partner doesn't ask, you sure as hell won't admit there was a time the two of you fucked like rabbits on crack every chance you got. Choose to divulge the ENTIRE history at your risk though!


     "I HAVE TO WORK LATE" How ironically that happened the EXACTLY same night you had plans to do something with your partner, which is also is the same night as guys/girls night out at the club.


     "I LIVE WITH MY ROOMMATE" Yeah, but if the person you're talking to doesn't ask, are you REALLY going to come out and admit your, "Roommate" is your ex, your kid's mom and dad, your present girlfriend, etc.?


     "I WORK OUT REGULARLY" First of all, Just because you have a membership, doesn't mean you work out or you're an active person, it just means you pay money for a scan tag because it makes your key ring look cool and can be used as an icebreaker or conversation starter. It's obvious to people who work out to spot this lie a mile away, so save it for the other lazy, couch-dwelling fatties. Second, a 50- minute cardio class one day a week doesn't mean you work out regularly, especially when you celebrate your three months, 3 lb. Weight loss with a slice of pizza and regular soda.


     "I'M IN THE MEDICAL FIELD" Listen, if you work/run the front office in a medical or dental office, YOU ARE NOT IN THAT FIELD!!! You're a fucking administrator, a secretary, appointment-maker, whatever you wish to call it to make yourself feel or sound more professional than you are. That also holds true for most detention/corrections' officers; a lot of them like to pretend or misrepresent themselves as if they're law enforcement officers. Be proud of who and what you are, and if you're not, do something about it, or tell the fucking truth!!


     "I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS" This is a new one for me to hear. Apparently, men lie about not having children (or about the number of children they actually have) to avoid giving off an impression they don't want to, and women will lie to prevent running a man off if they have multiple children by multiple men.


     "WE CAN JUST BE FRIENDS" Loosely translated, "I really want to fuck you, and I'm willing to wait and put in the time, to get to know each other until I can catch you at a vulnerable moment" But rest assured, he's going to be out fucking other women while he waits.


     "MONEY AND/OR EDUCATION" In an efforts to impress a potential partner or even just short-time fuck, people will lie about their education to seem more exciting and about their income, hoping to impress the person they're trying to hook up with. Be careful with this one though, because it can get out of hand very quickly and usually requires more than one lie to support the initial lie.


     "YOUR FRIENDS ARE GREAT" A lot of people tailor their attitude, behavior or personality; based on who they're hanging out with. So be ready; if HIS friends are pothead drug users or loud, boisterous sports fans who yell and scream at the TV when there's a touchdown. You bet your ass he's most likely going to behave the same way, just as if when she's with HER friends, she's more of a party girl than usual, or the stuck up bitch they portray when they're out together. If neither one of those situations works for you, be honest about how you feel. There's no golden rule that says you HAVE to like all or any of his/her friends.


     "I'M NOT DRUNK" Yes... Yes, you are. This is also another situation that can have unrealized disastrous effects. A woman should be able to go out, have a few drinks, perhaps one too many and expect to get home safely. Unfortunately, this is the REAL world where everyone doesn't or won't have your best interest in mind. As a man or woman, don't put yourself in a position to convince yourself there's a difference between DRUNK and BUZZED... It's the same fucking thing, especially in the eyes of the law! Men, keep yourself safe from harmful accusations from someone who can't or doesn't remember giving consent or to where you may come face to face with an angry husband, boyfriend, or the business end of a shotgun because you got drunk and went home with the wrong woman, who also drank too much.


     "I CAN'T REMEMBER/I WAS DRUNK, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING" The other side of the coin. The truth is, alcohol DOES NOT make you do you anything you don't want to do, it simply makes you not give a shit about the consequences of your present actions. If you go out drinking and end up in the back seat of someone's car fucking, it's something you wanted to do all along; being drunk is just an excuse that only makes the dirty asshat who fucked around feel justified for what they did.


     "I CAN'T BUST A NUT WITH A CONDOM ON" First you have to understand that friction is pretty much all that's needed for a man to ejaculate (cum). If he's out at the club, and he meets a woman who'll spend enough time grinding her ass on him, the generated friction between the two of them will eventually cause him to cum, and if that can happen while he's wearing jeans or pants, it can happen if he's wearing a condom. I will admit, the feeling and sensational experience between sex with and without a condom are significantly different and more pleasurable without one. Loosely translated, he hates wearing a rubber.


     "I PROMISE I WON'T GET MAD" Yes... YES, SHE WILL! Although you may not hear about it at that particular time, rest assured you WILL hear about it eventually. The fact she promised NOT to get mad pretty much tells you she'll get mad.


     "I WANT YOU, TO BE HONEST WITH ME" HE may want the truth, but most of the time, SHE doesn't; reason being is, for the most part, women already know the truth, she's either testing your honesty or hoping she's wrong. This one's tricky, depending on what's being asked. Caution MUST be taken when choosing to believe the person or avoid the situation entirely. The best thing to do is play it safe and avoid the whole fucking thing.


     "IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH" Simply translated, "I don't want your dick in me" If it's TRULY that time, she'll at least offer to suck your dick or an alternative method of getting you off; if not, she doesn't want your dick... AT ALL!


     "ONE CELL IS FOR WORK; ONE IS FOR PERSONAL" Damn... Just plain DAMN


     "I'LL LEAVE MY LADY/MY WIFE FOR YOU" If you believe a man would leave his wife of 10-15 years, beautiful home, cars, financial security, kids, etc. to move into your one bedroom apartment with you and your Chihuahua; you deserve to get fucked over. If he's been feeding you that same shit for the whole two years the two of you have been fucking; you deserve every heartbroken night you've spent, wondering when it's going actually to happen! You're a side-piece, a fuck hole, a cum dumpster who'll take it in the asshole because he can't get hard for his wife. You're a place for him to put his dick and rest assured EVERYONE in the office knows who you are and every nude picture, email, sex (text) you've sent him, he's shown his buddies before he deletes them, so his wife doesn't find them. He's not leaving her, and he knows you're too fucking stupid to leave him.


     "I JUST WANT TO PUT THE HEAD IN/FEEL HOW GOOD IT'S GOING TO BE" Men have this silly little thing called pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) which most men can't sense or control, so allowing him to, "Just put the head in", not only puts you at risk for pregnancy but also for any STD he may have. Second, in a man's mind, if you're allowing him penetration privilege, you're consenting to full-on fucking, and trust me when I tell you, a man's NOT going to just put the head or tip of his dick in you.  He will push his whole dick inside and fuck you, fucking moron!


     "I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT LAST WEEK" Translation: I'm hoping to give you as many details about a conversation we had long enough ago to put reasonable doubt in your mind that I told you something and you just forgot when in actuality, I NEVER told you a fucking thing!


     "I JUST BROKE UP WITH SOMEONE AND NEED SOME TIME" This is one of those lies where the person doesn't want to hurt your feelings because they believe you're a good person, just not for them.


     "I JUST GOT TESTED" In this case, the follow-up question should be, "Why?" There was a reason or concern to get tested whether the statement is the truth or a lie. Most people don't get tested without reason, especially men. Women are more likely to get tested after a relationship ends. Men pretty much get tested only when there may be a reason to.


     "I USUALLY LAST LONGER THAN THAT..." Ha haha hahaha. This one's pretty classic in itself when it comes to the 2-minute, 3-pump chump. This golden oldie is usually followed up by putting 100% of the blame on the woman with a compliment; "You must have Kyroptonite in that pussy, because I NEVER cum that quick before" Yeah he did, the last time he had some pussy.


     "I WAS ASLEEP" Another classic when justifying why calls/text went all evening/night unanswered.


     "I'M ON BIRTH CONTROL" Again, we all know the sensations are much more intense and enjoyable WITHOUT a condom, but don't be a bitch and lie about that shit either. Because you want a specific type of orgasm, you hate the way condoms feel, or even worse, you're trying to get pregnant, knowing that's not what HE wants!


     "I LOVE YOUR BODY (JUST THE WAY IT IS)" Stop... JUST STOP


     "OH, I REMEMBER NOW" No... No, they don't. They just don't want to hear that long ass, boring fucking story again.


     "I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK" This can be an unintentional lie. Most people say it out of habit, knowing they're not going to, or be able to call RIGHT BACK. Take this one with a grain of salt and don't let it bother you too much.


     "I COULDN'T ANSWER; MY FRIENDS TOOK MY PHONE" When at the bar or club and your partner's calls to make sure you're okay or whatever. it's always easy to blame your friends for taking your phone away so you can enjoy a night out with having to check in, check social media, or whatever, especially when you're in the back seat, getting your dick sucked, or bet over the sink in the bathroom, taking it from behind.


     "MY PHONE DIED" And your social media page shows pictures of your night out when it was supposedly dead, you fucking ASSJACKET!


     "I HAVE TO GO OUT OF TOWN FOR WORK... LAST MINUTE" Translation: "I've met or know someone who lives out of town, and I'm going to go fuck her." This a lie that men tell more than women, seeing as how a woman can get offered and turn down dick twice in the time it takes her to walk outside and check the mail.


     "I HAVE TO TAKE THIS CALL, I'LL CALL YOU BACK" This a quick and easy way to get off the phone when the conversation has turned stagnant, or you just want to get off the phone, for whatever reason.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

FASTER THAN A CHEATING BULLET

December 8, 2018

BY D.K. LION

Faster than a cheating bullet

     I decided to write this in multiple parts for many reasons. First, because it would be WAY too much to read at one time and I wouldn't take the time to read all of it myself, so I wouldn't expect anyone else to either. Second, I feel this is an important subject that should be taken seriously, and I didn't want any of the points to be missed and to eliminate confusion. Third, I feel there are so many facets and opinions; I want to give the opportunity for responses, views, personal beliefs, and experiences, as well as comments.


     Why do we feel the need or desire to cheat? Why would someone put the time and effort into meeting and cultivating a relationship, only to step out and seek satisfaction outside their relationship, instead of fixing or ending it? Before getting into this, I feel it's only fair as well as necessary for me to admit to my bullshit.


     Yeah, I've cheated; both physically and emotionally. I've stepped out on my partner and my relationship on more than one occasion, and in the process, managed to burn and fuck over a few exceptional women who didn't deserve what happened to them; their only mistake was to have met me while in the middle of my, "Dumb as fuck" phase of life.


     I could say I was drunk, but I don't drink; I haven't had a drop of alcohol since around 1997. I could tell It was difficult to turn down the pussy because I've had it thrown at me all the time, but that didn't happen either. Medical issues? Used to have a variety of women to choose from and the thought of settling down with one woman didn't appeal to me? Not even close. I could say it was just pussy and it wouldn't hurt anyone, as long as no one found out. I could also go the coward route and use the oldest excuse in the book and say I thought she was cheating on me... No, I didn't. No matter the reason, the truth of the matter is they're all bullshit, just bullshit to rationalize being a cheating fucking assclown.


     So, why did I cheat? I cheated because I wasn't honest with myself or my partner about my needs. I cheated because I didn't concern myself with her needs or expectations. I didn't know anything about love languages; both mine or hers. I couldn't communicate what was important to me in a relationship, which also meant I couldn't hear what they were saying either. I chose women I wasn't attracted to, women who were emotionally unavailable. I decided three fourths to full-time mothers of multiple small children who had limited amounts of time and availability to spend with each other. I picked women who wanted me, no matter what they looked like, how big they were, what their hang-up’s or issues were. I went after women who were just like me, just fucking grateful that someone wanted to be with me, and even seen with me in public. I went after women who wanted more out of the relationship than I did, even though I knew I wasn't interested in them in the same capacity. I went after women who I felt no one else wanted, who thought they were just as unattractive and undesired as I was.


     I cheated because I didn't like myself. I cheated because I despised what I saw in the mirror. I was fat and unattractive, and I hated myself. I cheated because I knew no one wanted me and I didn't know when the next time I was going to meet someone who wanted to be with me, so I felt I needed to take advantage of every opportunity that came my way. I chose women I couldn't or didn't see a future with. I cheated because I had shitty self-esteem and even lower self- confidence. I cheated because I was a fucking loser, wallowing in a pool of self-loathing, pity, and hatred.


     Then I got sick; ridiculously sick, spending time in and out of the hospital for the better part of a year, trying to get my medical situation under control. One of the biggest things the doctor was adamant about was the need for me to lose weight and get into shape, take a more active approach to my health and physical fitness, or I'd be destined for a worst-case scenario. And so, I did; signed up to a gym, lost the weight, changed my eating habits, and improved my overall health.


     Then the unthinkable happened while on my path to better health; as a side effect, I saw that I was not only gaining muscle, I also found myself drawing attention from a percentage of women as I'd never experienced before. It was pretty damn cool; everywhere I went, I was getting checked out, approached, hit on, etc. and it was fucking cool... I fed into it and allowed myself to be swept into the whole thing, not giving any thought to the relationship I was in. I lied about where I was going, who I was going with, what I was doing; ANYTHING I could do to get out by myself, so I could see how many phone numbers I could get, females I could meet and hook up with. I was so wrapped up doing dirty shit; it never occurred to me that I was leaving such a visible trail of bullshit, I pretty much telegraphed the fact I was lying and cheating that it was only a matter of time before my fantasy world came crashing down around me. Believe me when I tell you it came crashing down hard.


     I cheated because I got wrapped up in myself and the attention I was getting. I cheated because I allowed myself to get caught up in my bullshit, dealing with shallow fucking women who wanted absolutely nothing to do with me before. I liked the inattention I was getting, being accepted by not only women but from people who wanted to hang around me, because of the women I was attracting and I was into every second of it. Soon, I was spending more time away from my relationship and more time stepping out, trying to fuck around.


     I cheated because I wanted to be accepted by my peers; I wanted to be seen as a player, popular with the women. I didn't care about them, and I craved the hi-fives and accolades from my boys whenever I walked into the club and could get up on one of a half-dozen women, thinking that other women would hopefully see me as, "The man" and want to come at me. I cheated because I was sick of being a nobody; I wanted to be somebody. I was tired of going out, not meeting anyone, and I sure as hell didn't want to be seen out in public with some of the women I went after. I cheated because I wanted the best possible partner I could get and, in my head, having more than one woman on the line to choose from and adding to that line as much as I possibly could make the most sense to me at the time.


     The fact of the matter is no matter what rationalization I can muster to explain why I cheated. It's all bullshit, straight bullshit, and even though I'm proud to say I'm not that person anymore. It still embarrasses me to look back and see myself for who I was and although I can't make up for the past, I can tell my story, in hopes I've reached at least one person and maybe stop them from making the same mistakes, and damaging others the way I did. And to those who I've personally damaged or caused heartbreak, I honestly and sincerely apologize.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

THE BLOCK STOPS HERE

December 1, 2018

BY D.K. LION


COCK-BLOCK (ADJ) - THE ACT OF KEEPING SOMEONE ELSE AWAY FROM THE MAN OR WOMAN THAT JUST SHOT YOUR LAME ASS DOWN, FUCKED YOU OVER, OR THE PERSON YOU WANT TO FUCK, WHO DOESN'T WANT TO FUCK YOU!


     For every positive, there's a negative; for every light, there's a dark, every weapon, there's a defense unlike such beneficial tools from back in the day. From the Mixtape, the CANDYGRAM we used to send girls we liked in school on holidays such as Valentine's day, or the subtle, "Do you like me, YES or NO (circle one)" Folded note, to the "Finger fortune-teller" there's a darker, more sinister tool that needs no introduction, but DEFINITELY requires defining... THE COCKBLOCK.


     Make no mistake; the COCKBLOCK has been around far longer than any of us could ever imagine and is a bitch to reckoned with. Like the prehistoric MEGALADON, it's an Apex Predator with no known natural enemies, rows and rows of sharp teeth, armored skin, and the ability to sense its prey and cover vast distances extremely quickly. The COCKBLOCK is stealthy, sneaking up at a moment's notice, lifting its head just in time to bite you right in the asshole and retreating back into the bush, or comes charging full steam like a Juggernaut, crushing everything in its path.


"WHAT EXACTLY ARE THE KEY FACTORS OF A COCKBLOCK?"


     Before REALLY getting into its depths, there are a few things we must understand when discussing the COCKBLOCK. First of all, the cockblock knows no gender lines; women can use it against women, women against men, men against men, and men against women. The cockblock can also be used ANYWHERE, from the club to church, to the grocery store, pretty much everywhere people frequent or congregate, even if just briefly. It's a weapon that never runs out of ammunition, never needs maintenance or breaks down. It is adaptable to any given situation and can pass through any metal detector, making it virtually universal and user-friendly.


     "How is it Used?" The cockblock is used to make sure no one else has the opportunity to have his/her chance with someone of the opposite (or same) sex after the user has been turned down. For the purpose of this article, we're just going to focus on the opposite gender aspect.


     SCENARIO 1: Sam and his friends are out on the town, having a few beers, looking to hook up and get some ass. He sees Sara at the end of the bar and decides she's the girl he wants to take home and fuck. Sam approaches her, and maybe she takes him up on his invitation for a drink or dance, and they head out to the floor. After a song or two, she thanks him, and he walks her back to her seat, all the while, trying to hold her hand, as if they're together, but with no luck. Without even being invited, he takes a seat and starts in on her with all the swagger and game that's gotten him pussy in his past, but Sara is unimpressed and uninterested.


     During their dance, Sam notices that Darius was checking Sara out and she was doing the same, showing a definite physical attraction, which is why Sam tried so hard to make it look as if he and Sara might be together. Much sooner than later, Sam realizes he's wasting his time with Sara and knows she has no intention of fucking him, but he'll be damned if Darius gets a chance. So he either continues trying to get to know her, or he'll back off enough to keep from bugging the fuck out of Sara but remain close enough to keep Darius at bay, wondering if they're together or not. After two or three beers, Sam may have to piss like there's no tomorrow. He knows as soon as he goes to take a piss, Darius is going to walk up and ask Sara what the deal is with her and Sam and that silly asshat will risk a fucking bladder infection than to lose pussy that didn't even want him in the first place!


     SCENARIO 2: Tracy and David just broke up a month ago after a 2-year relationship. While out for the night, Tracy sees David having a conversation with another woman and it seems to be going well. Some light touching, laughing and a few dances confirm obvious physical chemistry. The exchange of cell phone numbers takes place before the other woman heads to the restroom. Tracy follows and catches her in the bathroom or the hallway and proceeds to break down every single one of David's faults or explains what he did that lead to their breakup, all the while, never admitting her own indiscretions. Whether the other woman believes Tracy or not, she decides that's WAY too much drama her to want to be a part of and removes herself from the situation entirely. COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!


     SCENARIO 3: Jenny and her girlfriends are out, kicking up their heels at their favorite spot when John walks in and IMMEDIATELY catches Jenny's eye. After 30 minutes or so, John approaches Jackie and asks her to dance, which she turns him down, putting a smile on Jenny's face. Another 30 minutes go by, and Jenny's friends have boosted her courage and confidence enough to walk over and talk to John, and the two of them head to the dance floor. Their chemistry is almost instant, and they spend a good 30-45 minutes, killing it on the dance floor, all the while, agitating Jackie, who not only turned John down but doesn't even know Jenny.


     Determined not to let Jenny and John enjoy their night, she posts herself to where she catches John's eye, and she starts smiling and flirting with him while he and Jenny are obviously into each other and having a good time together. John, being a stupid fucking idiot, returns her smiles and playful glances; sooner or later catching Jenny's attention, causing her to feel disrespected and lose her interest. John doesn't care, and in his mind, he has a chance to fuck Jackie, who now has no interest in him because she was successful in blocking his dumb ass from getting pussy from somewhere else. It was never about him; it was about eliminating the competition... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!


     SCENARIO 4: Henry sees and chooses Maria as soon as he notices her walking in by herself an takes a seat along the wall. He makes his way over to her and strikes up a conversation. Not wanting to be rude, Maria obliges and leaves the opportunity for possibility open for the time being. Then, in walk James and asks if the seat on the side of them is free. James takes the seat and orders a drink, not giving any thought to either Henry or Maria. Shortly afterward, Maria notices James' a little more and finds herself attracted to him. She keeps looking over at him, even managing to shift her seat over closer to him, periodically brushing against him, "accidentally" to initiate some form of physical contact and communication in the form of an apology. It doesn't take Henry long to notice this, and not to want to lose out, he stands up to, "Stretch his legs" before slyly but patiently shifting to the opposite side of Maria and wedges himself in the small void between Maria and James, cutting off her view and the possibility on any continued, "Accidental" brushings.


     Unaware of Henry's motives, and still determined to get James to notice her, Maria tries her hardest to maneuver herself back and forth, in her seat inconspicuously. Henry's no fool though, he wiggles himself deeper and more prominently in the small fucking space between Maria and James, almost either pushing him halfway off his seat or sitting in his lap, Causing James to either shift farther away or getting up and finding another place to sit... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!


     SCENARIO 5: The music is cranked, and the dance floor packed when Corey and his friends walk into the club. Ladies from the door to the tables are checking him or at least one of his friends as they head to the bar for drinks. A little while goes by and Tasha, an attractive black woman, approaches Corey and asks him to dance. Not being attracted to black women, but not wanting to be rude, he accepts her invitation, and they head out to the floor for a song or two. Later, that same woman or a different woman approaches and asks for a dance, where he politely declines, stating he's hanging out with his boys for the night. She understands and walks away.


     Sometime later, Corey looks over and sees Amanda, a beautiful, thick redhead, built EXACTLY how he likes his women, and the two of them make eye contact. Corey excuses himself and makes his way across the room, takes Amanda by the hand and they hit the floor. The physical attraction and chemistry are IMMEDIATE, and they lose themselves on the floor, dancing, grinding touching, and even some kissing. Tasha sees the display and gets pissed. "How the fuck is he gonna turn me down then get out there with that white girl?" She grabs her friends and heads out to the dance floor, right to where Corey and Amanda are dancing. Tasha and her friends take turns, "Bumping" into Corey and Amanda. No matter where they manage to move to on the floor, there's Tasha or one of her friends, "Accidentally" bumping into them, almost knocking them over, before they just leave the dance floor... COCKBLOCK 50% SUCCESSFUL! Tasha knows Corey and Amanda will most likely dance again, exchange numbers, and quite possibly interact after that night, even showing up together the next weekend, but she successfully stopped them from enjoying their time together to where she can see them.


     Women will block for:


     - Revenge: Her EX-screwed her over and she'll fuck up his trying to meet someone else. A woman will also block the EX of one of her friends or at least make him EXTREMELY uncomfortable on her friends' behalf. She'll most likely block, using either the FLIRT or BITCH method. She'll either be the bitch and cause the woman not to want to be a part of their drama. She'll play the flirt, and like a fucking dumbass, he'll actually believe he has a chance to fulfill a fantasy of fucking a friend of his EX, running off the other woman, just to have the blocker laugh in his face and walk off... COCKBLOCK SUCCESSFUL!


     - Pain and Suffering: A woman who's been heartbroken will block because she essentially wants to keep her EX single, so he'll have time to miss her and want him to come back. In most cases, women take longer to recover from a serious relationship/heartbreak, where men will try to find a new pussy to fuck to force himself past the heartbroken phase.


     - Spite: A woman will cockblock for the simple reason that she'll be damned if her EX will meet or move on to new pussy or a new relationship BEFORE she does, even if she's not ready to move on, she'll keep his ass single for long as she can!!


     - Because she can: Women will get a wild hair in her ass and cockblock people she doesn't even know, just for the pure satisfaction of being able to do so.


     One thing to remember though, when it comes to a woman cockblocking another woman, 90%-95% of the time, it has very little to absolutely NOTHING to do with the guy in question. It's more about the direct competition with that other woman. She'll block another woman from getting a man the blocker doesn't even want, while the man sits there, like a goofy fucking idiot, thinking he's the man because he believes he has two women competing for his little hairy dick.


     A man will block because he wants his EX back, or he'll be damned if another man ends up with a woman he wants. A man who's TRULY out for just pussy won't cockblock another man; he'll move on to another piece of pussy. If he blocks or attempts to block, he's genuinely interested and may WANT something more substantial with her than just a fuck, no matter what comes out of his mouth.


     There you have it, the breakdown of the COCKBLOCK as I see it. As I said before, it's a formidable weapon, capable of devastating effects. The cockblock is versatile, easy to use, sometimes challenging to identify and even harder to defend when it catches you off guard.

Before my conclusion, I want to address two more, less-than-lethal weapons in the arsenal of social/sexual interaction: The PUSH/PULL method and NEGGING.


     The Push/pull method is a practical, straightforward to use, but the percentage of success is lower than the cockblock. Only a guy will put himself between two women and immediately begin showing one interest. After a short while of getting to know each other, or when he senses her budding interest, he'll merely halt and shift his attention to her friend or another woman in the direct vicinity, most of the time, subconsciously putting the first woman in direct competition with the other woman for the man's attention. If successful, she'll step out of character and become extremely flirtatious or physical with him, to shift his focus back to her, which in turn will have the same effect on the other woman. So now, he has two women almost climbing all over him for his interest/attention.


     Negging is much simpler. A man will approach a woman, and after a short time of small talk and getting to know each other, he'll point out something small but negative about her, causing her to react in a way to solicit more personal or physical interaction through touching, playful hitting, etc. While he, "Apologizes," and assures her he didn't mean it the way she took it; it gives him the opportunity to increase the physical contact between them.


     In conclusion, we've covered the COCKBLOCK, the push/pull, and negging, the not-so-new weapons most people have either no idea existed or being used against them. Consider yourself informed and hopefully, you'll be more aware of these techniques being used against you, or you're able to refine them to where your own shit isn't so lame.


~~~~~~


Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

THE LIES HAVE IT PT. 1

November 16, 2018

BY D.K. LION


"THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH"


     These are words that serve as one of the cornerstones of our justice system. The dictionary defines a lie as a false statement made with the deliberate intent of deception; and inaccurate or false statement or intention. The punishment for perjury depends on various things, but once the punishment has been served, it's rarely remembered unless the liar is called upon to testify or serve as a witness in another situation.


     Being caught in a lie in reference to relationships have far more severe consequences, the effects last much longer, and the chances of being trusted again depends on the content and magnitude of the lie and its impact on the relationship. Some people believe in, "Little white lies," while others believe a lie could be necessary in order to spare someone's feelings. Whatever the reason a person may lie to another, there are certain lie's that shouldn't be told, such as...


     "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS" Look, we all have a past, and we're bound to cross paths with people we've dated, had relationships with, had sex with, etc. If you're with your partner and you get a "Happy birthday" text, your phone rings and you know it's your EX, someone you fucked before meeting your present partner, or whatever, just be upfront and say who it is. If you have nothing to hide, there's absolutely NO REASON to lie in this situation, it's unnecessary, and it'll cause the other person not to trust you; it's easier to admit it than to have to explain.


     "I LOVE YOU" If you don't, don't say you do! A lot of people will say it due to natural response, obligation, pussy, to keep the other person from feeling vulnerable, etc. It takes the level of commitment to a place you may not be ready for at the time, or maybe even ever. Once it's said, you can't take it back, so, mean it BEFORE you say it.


     "OUR FINANCES ARE FINE" Other than cheating; finances are the leading cause of breakups and divorce. Some men feel as if it's their sole responsibility to handle the finances. Lying to your spouse or partner, knowing there's a problem with what's being spent in relation to what's coming in is NEVER a good thing, just because you believe it makes you less of a man, or to hides expenses. Whatever the reason, you're asking to get shit on if/when you get caught! Not to mention, it has the potential to put the idea in your partner's head that their opinion doesn't matter when it comes to how the money's spent.


     "I'M SORRY YOU TOOK IT THAT WAY" No you're not! If you did or said something fucked up to your partner, you meant it, you meant to say it, you meant to do it, and the only reason you're apologizing for it is that the other person was intelligent enough to realize how fucked up it was. Now you're trying to backtrack to keep them from being pissed off, leaving you, or not fucking you.


     "IT'S OKAY/DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT/I'LL GET OVER IT" And if you believe that, you're a fucking idiot! If you're the person saying it, you're even worse than the person who said or did whatever it was that prompted your lie. If you're pissed off, say you're pissed off! If you're offended, say so. If you're hurt, admit it, and if you decide you're going to lie and tell your partner not to worry about it, only to bring it up later, then YOU'RE an asshole. Your partner's not a mind-reader, so they can only go on what you tell them. Own up to being bothered by whatever the other person did or said to bother you, get past it, and let it the fuck go!


     "I DON'T LOOK AT OTHER MEN/WOMEN" Shut the hell up! You've got eyes, and you're going to look if someone attractive walks by, and there's nothing wrong with that; it becomes disrespectful when noticing becomes eye-fucking. If you're dumb enough to think your man/woman doesn't notice other people, there's something wrong with you... If you're the one saying it, you're probably doing more than just noticing!


     "YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" If they're asking, they already know they need to, they're just looking to you for a self-confidence boost. If your lady asks you if you think she's fat, she pretty much already knows she's fat; she wants you to tell her in a nice way that you love her and still want to fuck her, even though she's fat.


     "THAT OUTFIT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU" The worst thing a person can do is allow someone they care about to go out on the town, dinner, date, etc. looking like shit or wearing something that makes them look like someone wrapped a rubber band around a pillow. Granted, "You look like shit," won't go over very well but maybe suggest an outfit that is more flattering. When shopping, just because it looks good on the mannequin or because they make it in your size, doesn't mean it should be worn by everyone, especially if you have to ask, "Does this make me look fat?"


     "YOU'RE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD" When you're in your 20's, the goal of being the best lover your partner had thus far is definitely more attainable than in your 40's, so get a fucking clue. You may be a good, even GREAT lover, but unless you meet a virgin in their 40's. You're NOT going to be the best at every aspect of sex, so don't waste your time, trying to be the best they've had; concentrate on satisfying them by listening to them, responding to them as an individual lover, and giving verbal affirmation; you'll be just fine.


     "LOOKS DON'T MATTER" Bullshit... STRAIGHT BULLSHIT!!!


     "I CAN ONLY ORGASM IF YOU GO DOWN ON ME" This is a shitty lie that women tell men in order to manipulate him into eating her pussy, using his pride/ego as a weapon. Of course, men believe that if he can't satisfy his woman, she'll find someone who can/will, so she'll tell a man she can only orgasm (cum) if he goes down on her. Women are capable of 5 different types of orgasms: Clitoral, Vaginal, Blended, Exercise, & Skin (Goosebumps). Granted, some women are prone to specific types of orgasm, based solely on oral sex, but not all 5!


     "I NEVER HAD AN STD" If asked, be upfront about it. Most STD's can be cured with a simple antibiotic in just a few days, and if it happened in your past, why not be honest about it! If you have something incurable, don't wait to be asked; it's not only the responsible thing to do, it's also punishable by law to knowingly pass on a disease to another person. If the person finds out you lied about something as stupid as being treated for Gonorrhea 10-15 years ago, they'll believe you'll lie if you caught something more recently.


      "I'M 2 MINUTES AWAY" Hahaha hahaha.


     "I CAME SO HARD" One of the worst things a person can do is lie about/fake an orgasm... Even if it's to keep from hurting the other person's feelings. Having a small/weak dick or sloppy ass and wanting to hurry up and get it over with is one of the main reason people lie or fake an orgasm, trying to spare someone humiliation or embarrassment is just as bad. Most guys with tiny dicks, already know they have a small dick, and most women pretty much know their pussy's so loose, you could ride through it on a circus horse, so don't add insult to injury by having them learn they can't satisfy someone they actually care about or have feelings for.


     "YOU'RE SO BIG" Men pride themselves in their size and every guy wants to hear how big their dick is. The average erect penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, 4.5 inches around, according to multiple medical sources. If a man has to ask if you think he has a big dick, he already KNOWS the answer, and he doesn't want the truth unless you're boosting his manhood.


     "I DON'T KNOW" Yes we do. Whether asking about where to eat, go out for the night, who's calling/texting you, what movie you want to see, whatever. We know, we're just not ready to say, thinking about a response, or know the answer will spark a conversation/debate/argument the person doesn't want to have.


     "MY PHONE'S ACTING UP" You just may not feel like talking when your phone rings; you may be wrapped up in a TV show, video game, talking to a friend, or whatever when your partner calls. To keep them from getting pissed or from thinking you're doing something you shouldn't be doing, some rely on them, "My phone's been doing that lately" excuse.


     "I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME" Hahaha hahaha. Some guys will pull that shit when they realize at some point during a date that they won't be fucking, so he doesn't feel like he should pay if he's not getting anything out of it. He doesn't care if you get pissed or ever talk to him again. Accidentally leaving your credit/debit card in the pocket of the jeans you wore the night before or in your gym bag is more believable than leaving your ENTIRE wallet at home.


     "I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS/I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE" Is a man's supposed to believe he's the first man you've ever taken to your car after meeting him at the bar/club and put his dick in your mouth or riding him in the back seat on the first night? A woman's supposed to trust that you've NEVER bent a woman over the hood of your car and fucked her? Get serious!! Be honest about what you want and what you're after. Don't play the gentleman or the innocent waif to avoid the label of being out for just sex; you may be surprised when you find out you both are looking for the same thing.


     "MY CAR'S IN THE SHOP" An oldie but goodie, a lot of the time, this translates to, "I don't have a car, so you'll have to come to pick me up." He's hoping to get the pussy before she finds out he doesn't have a car, but in the rare case, he might actually like her. he's hoping she'll be emotionally invested before he follows up with the classic, "The mechanic doesn't think it's worth fixing, so I'm going to have to keep paying on it until it's paid off BEFORE I can get a new one."


     "I'M SINGLE" This is a hard one to decipher whether or not it's true. You'll have to trust your instincts on this one on a case by case basis...


     "I'M SICK" Whether you have another date, plans with your friends or side-piece. You want to go out and look for something else, or you just don't feel like doing shit, and you don't want to piss off the person you're lying to, this is another overused classic that's gonna have to be taken on a case by case.


     "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU" This one can backfire extremely quickly; she'll either believe you or quickly go to the fall-back, "OKAY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"


     "IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME" Nope; it's all you.


     "I'M LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP TOO" Hahaha hahaha. Depending on the circumstances, if you're dumb enough to believe this one on face value, then you pretty much deserve what heartbreak or STD comes with it.


     People lie for many reasons, whether for their own benefit or to keep from offending someone; whatever the reason when the truth comes to light, it's hard to get that trust back, even if possible. If you're the person being lied to and you choose to work through it and rebuild that trust, then do so with a clean slate; don't bury the hatchet, leaving the handle exposed to be picked up and swung whenever it's convenient or beneficial. If you're unable to get past the lie, walk away with a clear heart and mind.


~~~~~~

Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DYNAMIC DUO

November 8, 2018

BY D.K. LION

Click Here to Add a Title

     While writing an article called, "Shades of White," I felt the need to separate a point that I feel is important and worthy to discuss on its own in more detail, instead of writing just a few lines about it.


     There are quite a few black women out there who believe black men choose white women because they aren't as mentally or morally strong as they are, lots of times, referring to them as, "Doormats." This statement or belief is just not true, as many black men as I've asked, no one has ever even hinted this being a reason why they've walked past a black woman and approached a white woman.


     There are independent, strong-willed, and self-sufficient women of all races and ethnicities; just as there are soft-spoken, more docile women in every race. A woman's upbringing, environment, and family dynamics are more fundamental factors. In which none these makes one race stronger or weak than the other.


     First of all, I believe black women use excuses such as the DOORMAT theory. Along with saying black men only like white women because they, "Suck Dick" or they, "Do freaky shit a sista wouldn't put up with", or the classic, "These niggas nowadays can't handle a strong black woman" The fact of the matter is these are just verbal defense mechanisms in response to being turned down, that's all... it's no different than when a man gets turned down by a woman, and he refers to her as a stuck-up, snotty bitch.


     The environment doesn't necessarily refer to a place, but experiences, which go hand in hand with upbringing. I am in my mid-40's; my generation was the first major generation of the "Deadbeat dad," where the most significant percentage of any other in our current history black men were fathering children and taking off, leaving black women to raise their children as single mothers.


     The black women of the present who were raised at that particular point were exposed to the hateful conversations their mothers had with these men. Their mothers were asking and sometimes begging for emotional and financial help and support. They sat on the floors of their bedrooms when they were supposed to be asleep, ears pressed against the door, listening to the angry, tearful, conversations mom had with her friends in person, or on the phone about how their father wasn't worth shit and didn't want anything to do with her or her siblings. In some cases, the children were directly told by their mothers about how fucked up their father was, how he wasn't doing a damn thing for them, etc., essentially laying the groundwork for the foundation they'll build their walls of over-independence, self-preservation, and pride.


     As these girls evolved into black women and had their own experiences; their mentality became more justified by the steady increase in men having children without a second thought about taking an interest in them. Which in turn fueling their, "I don't need a man for shit" mentality, as well as their belief they're stronger, and have to outwardly project their, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" attitude."


     A larger number of white girls at that time came from an entirely different environment; her parents were most likely married when she was born and raised, and mom stayed home, tending to the home while dad went to work. Not to say that white men didn't walk out on their responsibilities, but during that time, white mothers were less likely to expose her children to the negative interaction between that man and herself. She didn't bad mouth him in front of her children, and she took the initiative to teach her children that just because their dad wasn't a good person, that didn't mean most men were shitbags.


     Having both parents present and active in their upbringing, white girls were more exposed to a completely different dynamic. Mom and dad discussed important decisions, they disagreed but didn't argue or fight in front of the children. They didn’t talk shit in the phone or to their children themselves about why they were, "Mad at daddy" they learned from their mothers that dad worked hard and when he came home, it was mom’s job to make daddy happy and comfortable because he worked so hard to provide for the family.


     Fast-forward to the present; white women aren't weak, docile doormats; they just came from a completely different dynamic than black women; they've been raised to appreciate having a good man, instead of thinking they're a fucking, "Queen" who deserves to be compensated for having a shitty upbringing. Where black women have the, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" mentality, a white woman will follow the example from the dynamic between her mother and father and decide much more carefully what's worth bringing up, as well as the time and place. She'll recognize the man she's with (If he's a good man), that he's doing his best and show him support, even if he falls flat on his ass. She'll cook his favorite meals; she'll have no issues, sliding into that short, fitted, low-cut dress that a black woman would turn her nose up and scream about not wanting to look like a fucking hoe. If her man likes it, she'll suck his dick and swallow every drop... That doesn't make her a Doormat; that makes her a woman, raised in a different environment/dynamic where she was shown the example and learned to not only appreciate having a good fucking man but to show him the appreciation and support HE craves, instead of what a black woman WANTS to give her man.


     Instead of congregating with other black women, talking shit, berating, and referring negatively to a white woman about how weak she is, or how black men only want her because she's nasty or freaky; swallow some pride, pull that white woman aside and ask her what she did to get that good, decent, hard-working, motivated black man and what she does to keep him. Wipe the filthy, nasty, "Fuck Off'" from your face when you go out on the town, dial down the "Queen" mentality, and a good man will be more likely to approach you. Too many times have I seen black women turn their nose up at a black man; just trying to say hello, without so much as a smile, but will surely have a lot to say when she sees him with a white woman. If the belief is true that some black men choose white women because they suck dick or take it in the ass. Then take the hint and put your man's dick in your mouth. Hopefully, there won't be any room for you to bad mouth that white woman for doing what she does to keep her king in her castle!


~~~~~


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