Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

THE LIES HAVE IT

November 16, 2018

BY D.K. LION


"THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH"


     These are words that serve as one of the cornerstones of our justice system. The dictionary defines a lie as a false statement made with the deliberate intent of deception; an inaccurate or false statement or intention. The punishment for perjury depends on various things, but once the punishment has been served, it's rarely remembered unless the liar is called upon to testify or serve as a witness in another situation.


     Being caught in a lie in reference to relationships have far more severe consequences, the effects last much longer, and the chances of being trusted again depends on the content/magnitude of the lie, and it's effect on the relationship. Some people believe in, "Little white lies", while others believe a lie could be necessary in order to spare someone's feelings. Whatever the reason a person may lie to another, there are certain lie's that shouldn't be told, such as...


     "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS" Look, we all have a past, and we're bound to cross paths with people we've dated, had relationships with, had sex with, etc. If you're with your partner and you get a "Happy birthday" text, your phone rings & you know it's your EX, someone you fucked before meeting your present partner, or whatever, just be upfront and say who it is. If you have nothing to hide, there's absolutely NO REASON to lie in this situation, it's unnecessary and it'll cause the other person to not trust you; it's easier to admit it than to have to explain.


     "I LOVE YOU" If you don't, don't say you do! A lot of people will say it due to natural response, obligation, pussy, to keep the other person from feeling vulnerable, etc. It takes the level of commitment to a place you may not be ready for at the time, or maybe even ever. Once it's said, you can't take it back, so, mean it BEFORE you say it.


     "OUR FINANCES ARE FINE" Other than cheating, finances are the leading cause of breakups and divorce. Some men feel as if it's their sole responsibility to handle the finances. Lying to your spouse or partner, knowing there's a problem with what's being spent in relation to what's coming in is NEVER a good thing, just because you believe it makes you less of a man, or to hides expenses. Whatever the reason, you're asking to get shit on if/when you get caught! Not to mention, it has the potential to put the idea in your partner's head that their opinion doesn't matter when it comes to how the money's spent.


     "I'M SORRY YOU TOOK IT THAT WAY" No you're not! If you did or said something fucked up to your partner, you meant it, you meant to say it, you meant to do it, and the only reason you're apologizing for it is because the other person was intelligent enough to realize how fucked up it was, and now you're trying to backtrack to keep them from being pissed off, leaving you, or not fucking you.


     "IT'S OKAY/DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT/I'LL GET OVER IT" And if you believe that, you're a fucking idiot! If you're the person saying it, you're even worse than the person who said or did whatever it was that prompted your lie. If you're pissed off, say you're pissed off! If you're offended, say so. If you're hurt, admit it, and if you decide you're going to lie and tell you're partner not to worry about it, only to bring it up later, then YOU'RE an asshole. Your partner's not a mind-reader, so they can only go on what you tell them. Own up to being bothered by whatever the other person did or said to bother you, get past it, and let it the fuck go!


     "I DON'T LOOK AT OTHER MEN/WOMEN" Shut the hell up! You've got eyes, and you're going to look if someone attractive walks by, and there's nothing wrong with that; it becomes disrespectful when noticing becomes eye-fucking. If you're dumb enough to think your man/woman doesn't notice other people, there's something wrong with you... If you're the one saying it, you're probably doing more than just noticing!


     "YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" If they're asking, they already know they need to, they're just looking to you for a self-confidence boost. If your lady asks you if you think she's fat, she pretty much already knows she's fat; she wants you to tell her in a nice way that you love her and still want to fuck her, even though she's fat.


     "THAT OUTFIT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU" The worst thing a person can do is allow someone they care about to go out on the town, dinner, date, etc. looking like shit or wearing something that makes them look like someone wrapped a rubber band around a pillow. Granted, "You look like shit" won't go over very well, but you can suggest something else that would make them look better. When shopping, just because it looks good on the mannequin or because they make it in your size, doesn't mean it should be worn by everyone, especially if you have to ask, "Does this make me look fat?"


     "YOU'RE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD" When you're in your 20's, the goal of being the best lover your partner had thus far is definitely more attainable than in your 40's, so get a fucking clue. You may be a good, even GREAT lover, but unless you meet a virgin in their 40's, you're NOT going to be the best at every aspect of sex, so don't waste your time, trying to be the best they've had; concentrate on satisfying them by listening to them, responding to them as an individual lover, & giving verbal affirmation; you'll be just fine.


     "LOOKS DON'T MATTER" Bullshit... STRAIGHT BULLSHIT!!!


     "I CAN ONLY ORGASM IF YOU GO DOWN ON ME" This is a shitty lie that women tell men in order to manipulate him into eating her pussy, using his pride/ego as a weapon. Of course, men believe that if he can't satisfy his woman, she'll find someone who can/will, so she'll tell a man she can only orgasm (cum) if he goes down on her. Women are capable of 5 different types of orgasms: Clitoral, Vaginal, Blended, Exercise, & Skin (Goosebumps). Granted, some women are prone to a specific type of orgasm, based solely on oral sex, but not all 5!


     "I NEVER HAD AN STD" If asked, be upfront about it. Most STD's can be cured with a simple antibiotic in just a few days, & if it happened in your past, why not be honest about it! If you have something incurable, don't wait to be asked; it's not only the responsible thing to do, it's also punishable by law to knowingly pass on a disease to another person. If the person finds out you lied about something as stupid as being treated for Gonorrhea 10-15 years ago, they'll believe you'll lie if you caught something more recently.


      "I'M 2 MINUTES AWAY" Hahaha hahaha


     "I CAME SO HARD" One of the worst things a person can do is lie about/fake an orgasm... Even if it's to keep from hurting the other person's feelings. Having a small/weak dick or sloppy ass and wanting to hurry up and get it over with is usually the main reason people lie or fake an orgasm, trying to spare someone humiliation or embarrassment is just as bad. Most guys with tiny dicks, already know they have a tiny dick, and most women pretty much know their pussy's so loose, you could ride through it on a circus horse, so don't add insult to injury by having them learn they can't satisfy someone they actually care about or have feelings for.


     "YOU'RE SO BIG" Men pride themselves in their size and every guy wants to hear how big their dick is. The average erect penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, 4.5 inches around, according to multiple medical sources. If a man has to ask if you think he has a big dick, he already KNOWS the answer, and he doesn't want the truth unless you're boosting his manhood.


     "I DON'T KNOW" Yes we do. Whether asking about where to eat, go out for the night, who's calling/texting you, what movie you want to see, whatever. We know, we're just not ready to say, thinking about a response, or know the answer will spark a conversation/debate/argument the person doesn't want to have.


     "MY PHONE'S ACTING UP" You just may not feel like talking when your phone rings; you may be wrapped up in a TV show, video game, talking to a friend, or whatever when your partner calls. To keep them from getting pissed or from thinking you're doing something you shouldn't be doing, some people rely on them, "My phone's been doing that lately" excuse.


     "I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME" Hahaha hahaha. Some guys will pull that shit when they realize at some point during a date that they won't be fucking, so he doesn't feel like he should pay if he's not getting anything out of it. He doesn't care if you get pissed or ever talk to him again. Accidentally leaving your credit/debit card in the pocket of the jeans you wore the night before or in your gym bag is more believable than leaving your ENTIRE wallet at home.


     "I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS/I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE" A man's really supposed to believe he's the first man you've ever taken to your car after meeting him at the bar/club and put his dick in your mouth or riding him in the back seat on the 1st night? A woman's supposed to trust that you've NEVER bent a woman over the hood of your car and fucked her? Get serious!! Be honest about what you want and what you're after. Don't play the gentleman or the innocent waif to avoid the label of being out for just sex, you may be surprised when you find out you both are looking for the same thing.


     "MY CAR'S IN THE SHOP" An oldie but goodie, a lot of the time, this translates to, "I don't have a car, so you'll have to come to pick me up". He's hoping to get the pussy before she finds out he really doesn't have a car, but in the rare case he might actually like her, he's hoping she'll be emotionally invested before he follows up with the classic, "The mechanic doesn't think it's worth fixing, so I'm going to have to keep paying on it until it's paid off BEFORE I can get a new one."


     "I'M SINGLE" This is a hard one to decipher whether or not it's true. You'll have to trust your instincts on this one on a case by case basis...


     "I'M SICK" Whether you have another date, plans with your friends or side-piece, you want to go out & look for something else, or you just don't feel like doing shit and you don't want to piss off the person you're lying to, this is another overused classic that's gonna have to be taken on a case by case.


     "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU" This one can backfire extremely quickly; she'll either believe you or quickly go to the fall-back, "OKAY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"


     "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME" Nope; it's all you.


     "I'M LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP TOO" Hahaha hahaha. Depending on the circumstances, if you're dumb enough to believe this one on face value, then you pretty much deserve what heartbreak or STD comes with it.


     People lie for many reasons, whether for their own benefit or to keep from offending someone; whatever the reason when the truth comes to light, it's hard to get that trust back, even if possible. If you're the person being lied to and you choose to work through it and rebuild that trust, then do so with a clean slate; don't bury the hatchet, leaving the handle exposed to be picked up and swung whenever it's convenient or beneficial. If you're unable to get past the lie, walk away with a clear heart and mind.


~~~~~~

Dark Truth

An ongoing series of Dark Truth

DYNAMIC DUO

November 8, 2018

BY D.K. LION

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     While writing an article called, "Shades of White", I felt the need to separate a point that I feel is important and worthy to discuss on its own in more detail, instead of writing just a few lines about it.


     There are quite a few black women out there who believe black men choose white women because they aren't as mentally or morally strong as they are, lots of times, referring to them as, "Doormats". This statement/belief is just not true, as many black men as I've asked, no one has ever even hinted this being a reason why they've walked past a black woman and approached a white woman.


     There are independent, strong-willed, & self-sufficient women of all races & ethnicities; just as there are soft-spoken, more docile women in every race. Upbringing, environment, & family dynamics are more key factors; none of which makes one race stronger or weak than the other.


     First of all, I believe black women use excuses such as the DOORMAT theory, along with saying black men only like white women because they, "Suck Dick" or they, "Do freaky shit a sista wouldn't put up with", or the classic, "These niggas nowadays can't handle a strong black woman" The fact of the matter is these are just verbal defense mechanisms in response to being turned down, that's all... it's no different than when a man gets turned down by a woman, he refers to her as a stuck-up, snotty bitch.


     The environment doesn't necessarily refer to a place, but experiences, which go hand in hand with upbringing. Being in my mid-40's, my generation was the first major generation of the "Deadbeat dad", where the largest percentage of any other in our current history black men were fathering children and taking off, leaving black women to raise their children as single mothers.


     The black women of the present who were raised as children at that particular point were exposed to the hateful conversations their mothers had with these men, asking/sometimes begging for emotional/financial help and support; they sat on the floors of their bedrooms when they were supposed to be asleep, ears pressed against the door, listening to the angry, tearful, conversations mom had with her friends in person, or on the phone about how their father wasn't worth shit and didn't want anything to do with her or her siblings. In some cases, the children were directly told by their mothers about how fucked up their father was, how he wasn't doing a damn thing for them, etc., essentially laying the groundwork for the foundation they'll build their walls of over-independence, self-preservation, & pride.


     As these girls evolved into black women & had their own experiences, their mentality became more justified by the steady increase in men having children without a second thought about taking an interest in them, fueling their, "I don't need a man for shit" mentality, as well as their belief they're stronger, and have to outwardly project their, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" attitude".


     White girls at that time came from an entirely different environment; her parents were most likely married when she was born/raised & mom stayed home, tending to the home while dad went to work. Not to say that white men didn't walk out on their responsibilities, but at that time, white mothers were less likely to expose her children to the negative interaction between that man and herself, she didn't bad mouth him in front of her children, and she took the initiative to teach her children that just because their dad wasn't a good person, that didn't mean most men were shitbags.


     Having both parents present and active in their upbringing, white girls were more exposed to a completely different dynamic. Mom & dad discussed important decisions, they disagreed, but didn't argue or fight in front of the children; they didn’t talk shit in the phone or to their children themselves about why they were, "Mad at daddy" they learned from their mothers that dad worked hard and when he came home, it was mom’s job to make daddy happy and comfortable because he worked so hard to provide for the family.


     Fast-forward to the present; white women aren't weak, docile doormats; they just came from a completely different dynamic than black women; they've been raised to appreciate having a good man, instead of thinking they're a fucking, "Queen" who deserves to be compensated for having a shitty upbringing. Where black women have the, "A sista wouldn't put up with that shit" mentality, a white woman will follow the example from the dynamic between her mother and father and decide much more carefully what's worth bringing up, as well as the time and place. She'll recognize the man she's with (If he's a good man), that he's doing his best and show him support, even if he falls flat on his ass. She'll cook his favorite meals, she'll have no issues, sliding into that short, fitted, low-cut dress that a black woman would turn her nose up and scream about not wanting to look like a fucking hoe. If her man likes it, she'll suck his dick and swallow every drop... That doesn't make her a Doormat; that makes her a woman, raised in a different environment/dynamic where she was shown the example & learned to not only appreciate having a good fucking man but to show him the appreciation and support HE craves, instead of what a black woman WANTS to give her man.


     Instead of congregating with other black women, talking shit, berating, and referring negatively to a white woman about how weak she is, or how black men only want her because she's nasty or freaky, swallow some pride, pull that white woman aside and ask her what she did to get that good, decent, hard-working/motivated black man & what she does to keep him. Wipe the filthy, nasty, "Fuck Off'" from your face when you go out on the town, dial down the "Queen" mentality, and a good man will be more likely to approach you. Too many times have I seen black women turn their nose up at a black man, just trying to say hello, without so much as a smile, but will surely have a lot to say when she sees him with a white woman; if the belief is true that some black men choose white women because they suck dick or take it in the ass, take the hint & put your man's dick in your mouth, hopefully there won't be any room for you to bad mouth that white woman for doing what she does to keep her king in her castle!


~~~~~


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