Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


APR 03, 2022


      The game versus swagger; one’s practiced, rehearsed and perfected while the other is natural and organic. People unfamiliar with true swagger won’t recognize it; they see it as some men having a better “Game” than the average person. He seems a little too smooth, but you can’t put your finger on it. He’s not playing games, but you can’t see it because you’re busy being too street smart for your own good. You think you’re too smart to fall for the game, but he isn’t playing with you; your inability to recognize swagger affects you.

      It’s not a game; he’s got swagger; more swagger than you can handle, and it’s both intimidating and foreign to you because of all players and game you’ve had to deal with and muddle through to uncover someone’s true personality when they’re trying to get at you. You can’t recognize or handle a man who has swagger because your sense of self-preservation won’t allow it. You think he has an ulterior motive, and you ran him off, or he wasn’t interested in you, to begin with, because you confused swagger with the game.

      Gamers know they need a game; they know that without their smooth talk and bluster, they’re boring and have no natural ability to approach, initiate, and carry on a conversation with a female he’s genuinely attracted to because he knows he’s secretly lame or boring as hell. He doesn’t want her to know who he really is; he wants to reinvent himself for every female he crosses paths with into what he thinks she’ll be interested in.

      A man with a swagger is himself; he’s not arrogant or conceited and doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Men with swagger could care less if women think he’s running game and wants nothing to do with him; he wasn’t trying to impress in the first place. He doesn’t see the purpose of lying or making himself out to be someone he’s not. He knows the truth will come out sooner or later; he’s been places and done things in his life that he doesn’t have to make up, prove, lie about, or defend.

      A man with a swagger is comfortable with himself and being by himself; if a woman can’t or won’t accept him for who he is, he could care less.

      A man with a game will try to convince a woman his bullshit is sincere and genuine, while a man with swagger doesn’t. He is who he is, and if that’s not good enough for the right woman, he’ll still drive home with the satisfaction that he had a good night out and enjoyed himself alone just as much as if he’d met someone. Men with swagger don’t have to be smooth or always say the right things; his confidence in himself, whether smooth or awkward, catches a woman’s attention and interest.

Men will try to fake swagger, but he’ll look and sound ridiculous; maybe not right away, but eventually, his bullshit will unravel. Men who try to fake swagger are always trying to test the tensile strength of his game. He’s trying to reel in a 165 lb. Marlin with test line and a reel maximum rated for a 60-pound fish, and his shit will splinter and snap like a twig; it’s a matter of WHEN his game will break, not IF. The game can be turned off and on, but the swagger is what it is, an unbridled force of nature.

      The game can be confused or disguised as sincerity until he speaks; then, his true nature will reveal itself. The game requires effort; swagger requires nothing more than presence. The game has to be initiated; it has a pilot light that needs to be re-lit every now and then. Game is a flashlight that needs its batteries changed when it gets low, and swagger is sunlight; it’s always shining somewhere.

      The game involves someone specific; with swag, you just can’t seem to figure out what’s drawing you in, but it’s a whirlpool, sucking you in until you absolutely have to meet him, or at least figure out what makes you interested—your presence and attitude; how people react to you, and vice-versa. Everything about swagger flows like a river of natural spring water. Game is filtered, processed, and bottled in a factory. A man with a swagger doesn’t have to be dressed in his best or have his best foot forward at all times because he can’t tell who’s looking at him; he’s not even paying attention.

      Gamers will always be more anxious and on the lookout. Men with swagger exist in their space because they’re comfortable in that space; he’s adaptable, while the gamer has to set the stage for his game to have 100% maximum effect/success. Gamers have a script based on a flowchart system while the man with a swagger speaks his mind. Unattractive men can have swagger and still pull better women than a better-looking gamer. Swagger can be ascending and accessorized. Swagger recognizes the game that’s still in a testing or perfecting phase or it’s weak. Weak gamers will try to associate and attach himself to a man with a swagger, like a parasite.

      Gamers will adopt and recruit a sidekick to admire him or test and teach his game. Men with swagger will hang out with anyone as long as they don’t embarrass him or bring negative attention around him. A man with a swagger won’t abandon or sell his friends out for sex. He’ll excuse himself to talk to someone semi-privately to get to know each other, but he won’t leave his friends hanging or disappear.

      Men with swagger will entertain a gamer but won’t hesitate to distance himself if his reputation or behavior affects him by association. Gamers are always on the hunt from the time he walks through the door until the time he leaves, complaining about how there aren’t any women worth his time. He really means that all the women are either spoken for, know of him and his reputation, or aren’t interested. He says there aren’t any easy women to hook up with; they’re too much work.

      Men with swagger don’t hunt; gamers have standards they lower as the night goes on. Men with swagger treat all women the same, no matter what she looks like physically, based on how she approaches him or interacts with other men; if she’s snotty or stuck up, he won’t waste their time talking to her. Gamers don’t know how to hang out; they can’t sit still. It’s the weekend, and they’re single. They have to go and be somewhere they can meet women. During the week is for hanging out with the guys; the weekend is for meeting women and hooking up.

      I with swagger are versatile; they don’t have to change or adjust anything; they are who they are no matter where they are, but more than capable of putting on the upper class or professional persona when necessary and fit right in. Unlike the gamer, men with true swagger doesn’t have to talk himself up or overinflate.

      The game versus swagger; if he has to open his mouth to be smooth, he’s using the game. A man who can catch a woman’s eye without saying a word or catches her interest when she approaches him, he’s got swagger. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 06, 2022


      The customer isn't always right, and just because you're the customer doesn't give you the right to treat someone who's trying to help you like shit because you don't like what they're saying, or they can't accommodate your special request. You're pissed off because they're doing their job, and that interferes with you getting your way.

      You believe something's unfair, and instead of just not making the purchase or using their service, you feel the need to make it an extreme production; you had to get loud, curse, and argue loud enough for others to overhear. You went somewhere you knew wouldn't or couldn't provide what you wanted so you could intentionally start some shit or fuel a cause or crusade you're involved in. You walked into a pizza parlor and got pissed because you couldn't get steak. You could've walked out the door, drove down the street, and found someone else who could accommodate you, but it meant more to go public or claim some form of discrimination or prejudice. Customer service doesn't mean bowing down to you, or they have to let you walk all over or criticize them.

      You can make the most significant public scene, trying to get your way, and some businesses will fold under the weight of your ranting and raving to avoid driving other customers away by your performance, not because you're unique. You know this; that's why you're doing it in the first place; to take advantage of their wanting to diffuse the situation, keep your business and put an immediate end to your public spectacle. Then, of course, some larger companies will throw their employees under the bus to get your business, but sooner or later, that shit will come back to you.

      You're in a customer-based profession yourself, so you know how it feels when you get an impossible customer. You're well aware of what you're allowed to do and not do, so when you get a customer who wants special treatment, you want them to choose from the alternatives you present them without argument.

      When customers act a damn fool the same way you do, you'll go back to your work area or the break room and talk shit about it all damn day; about how you almost got fired because you were 2 seconds from smacking the shit out of somebody. Then, you'll take it home and out on your family. Now that you're the consumer, you feel you need to dish out what you take regularly. It's your chance to turn the tables, and for once, you get to be the demanding asshole and make someone else feel the way you do at their work.

      You want people to clock in and help you 10-15 minutes before they're scheduled, just because they're sitting there, enjoying their downtime before starting their shift. You want the business to open early, just because you got there early to beat the morning rush or get the best product. You want to ask a quick question, and you know they're on a break, at lunch, or on their way home. Would you like to be stopped to help a customer? Do you want to stay at work 20-30 past your time because someone wanted every piece of information you could give them on a product or service? Why would you want someone else to do it for you? You won't work off the clock, so why get angry and belligerent when someone tells you they won't do it either?

      You're not unique, not to the employees. You're not even unique to the company; your money motivates putting up with your shit. The amount of money involved will determine if you'll get what you want or be politely told to go fuck yourself. You're the cloth diaper of your job, getting shit on every day, and it's time for some payback. You're quick to ask to speak to a manager, but management doesn't have to deal with or cater to your silly-ass request; they'll appoint an associate or employee to give you whatever you want; and when you go to work, YOU are that employee.

      Employees are friendly to you because they have to; they want to keep their job. They only have to deal with you once or periodically, so they'll give you what you want. You're just dollar signs and the subject of ridicule and hatred when you walk away, feeling like you got over on big business and knocked someone off their high horse. You feel like you stuck it to the company as a whole because you were an asshole and got something for $10 less than stated because you found one that was in the wrong place. You know that $50 rug was in the wrong spot when you saw it in the $19.99 bin.

      You want to tell someone how to do their job, and they've been doing it for years; that's why you went to them for service. Their knowledgeable employees, excellent reputation, and professional environment sent you to them in the first place, but you want to tell them what the issue is. You want to tell them what's wrong or how to fix your car because that's what you think it is or what your buddy told you.

      What you think is wrong costs $100 to fix, but it costs $400. You don't want that; you want them to fix what's wrong at the price you think it should cost. Labor's too expensive, and you saw the part you needed online for 1/3rd less than what you're being charged, and that's what you should pay, not a penny more.

      You're pissed off because the bank keeps calling, trying to work out a plan for you to catch up on your credit cards or car payments. These people are just doing their job, and you're cursing them and calling them every nasty name in the book, but you'll shrivel up like jerky when they get sick of your verbal abuse and send the repo guy to come to get your shit; THEN you want to talk calmly and come to a peaceful agreement.

      You're a rotten customer, and you know it; you're rotten because you try to take advantage of your friends when they're trying to run a successful business. They charge you the same price they charged everyone else, but you think your friendship entitles you to an extra discount or a "Hookup." They could be selling you a great used car for a great price, but you feel like you deserve better than what they're asking a stranger for. They provide service at 25% lower than anyone else in the area, but you'll STILL want to talk them down because you want to feel unique or more important than anyone else.

      You're a shitty consumer because you think it's funny to see how shitty you can make someone else feel. So you get off on being rude, arrogant, and snotty. You look down on people just trying to do their job, just like you. You treat people with a scale mentality; you had a shitty customer today, so when you go out to eat, you're going to take it out on somebody else and be a shitty customer.

      As a customer, you have a responsibility; to act like an adult and have common sense. You should not get shit-faced drunk and throw up all over the bathroom; to not start shit or fight in someone's bar or club. You have a responsibility to have enough money to pay your bill. You're expected to keep your children in check, keep them from running all over the place, and clean up after them while having dinner. You think the customer's always right unless you're dealing with a customer who thinks they're right.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


JAN 02, 2022


     There’s a big difference between your children or family not wanting to eat what you cooked because they want pizza, tacos, burgers, fast food, or everything from the microwave and not wanting to eat what you made or brought home when you’re serving pizza, fast food, burgers, etc. They want to eat healthier because their interest in healthy eating eclipses yours. They’re eating healthy because they want you to eat healthily. Your kids play sports or have more interest in their physical fitness, and it’s not a reflection on you; they’re just not into the regular microwave meal thing.

      They could be vegan, vegetarian, or just not into fast food. They know what’s in that crap, or they put a lot into how they look, and those types of foods are not in their everyday diet. They work their ass off to look the way they do or to keep in shape, and everything in the fridge is over-processed and full of garbage that’s going to wreak havoc on their health down the road. They see what it’s done to you if you’re overweight or obese. You have high blood pressure or diabetes. They could like salad and healthier foods, but you think there’s something wrong with them because you believe all children like and want junk food.

      The money you’re spending at the drive-through could feed your family for almost a week in meals or groceries. Instead, you’re serving garbage because it’s easier than coming home to cook, even if it’s just boiling water for pasta. Time to cook may be a factor, but that can’t be an everyday excuse, especially when your children are old enough to begin preparing a meal when they get home; you’re the one who doesn’t want the salad or rice dish they made because there’s little to no meat in it.

      On the weekends when no one has to work, there’s nothing wrong with preparing a good, healthy, home-cooked meal, but that’s your day of rest, or it’s payday, so you want to eat out, but you’re going out to eat the same saturated fat, cholesterol, and grease you’re eating at home; you’re just letting someone else prepare it for you.

      You could have a child or partner who used to be overweight as a child, and they know how cruel kids can be, and they don’t want to put your children through the hellish nightmare they went through. They see how their overweight friends are treated and outcasted, and they don’t want that. You’re buying what you want to eat, but you’re also getting pissed because your kids don’t want to eat it. Just like you’ll make them sit at the table until they finish their vegetables, you’ll make them sit at the table until they finish the tacos, burgers, or whatever else you spent your hard-earned money on and brought home; but it’s all garbage.

      There’s a huge difference between not wanting to eat what’s healthy and not eating garbage. It’s not about wasting food, and it’s about the money you spent. You bought everything you want to eat and like when you already know it’s not what they’re going to eat, and that’s a completely different scenario than your kids not wanting to eat anything other than junk food or fast food. That shit gets expensive, and you got them hooked on fast food 2-3 a week; now you’re trying to change their eating and meal habits because you can’t afford it, or you’ve taken an active interest in what they eat. You’re having to buy new clothes because they’ve put on a significant amount of weight, and you can’t afford to keep buying clothes when the simple and less expensive option is weight, diet, and portion control.

      Sure, they’ll eat a salad; AFTER they’ve smothered it with dressing and covered it with fried chicken strips, bacon, croutons, three different kinds of cheese, a fried egg, and salt.

      As a husband, you know your wife’s trying to eat healthily and lose weight, but you show little to no support; you may not want to participate in her weight loss or fitness goals, but you’ll still expect her to prepare all the same garbage for you and the kids. You’ll eat your BBQ ribs, fried chicken, or pork chops, dripping with grease or gravy while she’s sitting down to a salad.

      You’re using your children or family to justify and blame for what you’re eating. You’re cheating on your diet or going against the nutrition plan from your doctor in response to your diabetes or heart disease. You’ll eat what they eat and use that as an excuse to why you can’t lose weight or why your blood pressure’s getting worse. You know you or your children should be eating something different, but you’ll serve the same garbage food to the entire family, healthy or with medical issues.

      You do not deny your child food when you deny them fast food, and they won’t eat what you cook. You’ve fed them crap food for a long time, and that’s what they want. You’re letting your children tell you what to cook and serve when you’re the parent, and you should be telling them they can eat what’s being served, or they’re shit out of luck. Instead, you’re forcing them to clean their plate when you didn’t even have beans or salad on yours. They’re telling you they want to eat healthier, and you don’t know how to prepare food without frying or soaking in grease or some sauce.

      Your kids want to eat healthily, and that’s not normal to you. You ignore what they put on the list because they’re kids, and all kids like crap food when you’re the one who really wants to eat the crap food. Your children have more portion control than you do; they can eat 2-3 cookies and be okay, but you buy 3-4 packs and want to eat your share all at once in case there’s none left for later. Kids learn their eating habits from their parents, so why doesn’t your child want to eat what you like? Because the times have changed and you forgot what it was like to be the fat kid; you made fun of the fat kid, so you don’t know what it feels like to be them. You kids know, and they don’t want that for themselves.

      You give most kids a choice, and they’re going to choose the garbage they can eat while sitting on their ass, watching TV, or on the computer. They want what their friends are eating, even if they have health issues that might not make that such a great idea, but being popular means more than being healthy. You want your children to be healthy, but you don’t want them to eat healthily, not at the expense of not eating what you brought home or what you like.  


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


DEC 05, 2021


      You’re trying to make the night perfect under masqueraded pretenses. You wanted to wait until the kids were in bed, thinking it’d be more romantic. You didn’t want them to bother you because you want the sex to last longer than the 5-10 minutes they’ll give you before knocking on the door, wondering what you’re doing, wanting to come in and be where you are, or asking for something. You have sex in other locations inside the home, but the bedroom is the only place you feel sex can be truly romantic. When you’re offering only bed sex too late, and under the wrong circumstances, you’re putting each other in sleep mode but trying to have sex instead.

      You think you’re setting the mood for passion and romance, but you’re realistically setting the perfect scene for a great night’s sleep. It’s 10-11 pm, after a night out or a long day’s work. You want the room dark or dimmed by candlelight, slow, romantic music in the background, or completely quiet. The television’s off. You’re both feeling the relaxing aftermath of a nice, long, hot shower and a great meal. Everything’s set up, so you have no distractions, and your focus is solely on each other; unfortunately, one of you can’t keep their eyes open.

      All your hard work to accommodate your perfect night of lovemaking is more of a setup for falling asleep than foreplay or a precursor to sex. Of course, you’ll get pissed because they’re dozing off, but that’s by your own doing. If you wanted sex, you should’ve made your move sooner or selected a different lovemaking scenario, saving this one for another time.

      You’re complaining about your lack of sex, or you’re frustrated because you can’t get the soap opera, romantic lovemaking experience you want as much as you’d like. Still, sometimes you’re going to have to take the blame because you’re trying to re-enact a fantasy that’s just not going to work at that time. You think it’s about you as a couple, but it’s really about your timing, warm sheets right out the dryer, with a light hint of the perfume they like. You let them get comfortable and settled into bed before you rolled over and made your move. You waited too long, or you made things too comforting, and you’re both fighting to stay awake.

      You didn’t realize how tired you were yourself until you got started, and you ended up more in sleep mode than they were. Not only just for sex, but you still allowed too much time to elapse even if you just wanted foreplay. You took it personally when they told you they were tired and you rolled over pissed off, thinking you were rejected because of something else, other than you put them in sleep mode first. You thought they were dismissing you, but you refuse to understand or acknowledge your part in setting the stage for your disappointment. You tried to set the perfect series of events, leading to passionate lovemaking, but it didn’t work out the way you planned it while you were going through it in your head. Don’t use sleep mode as a guilt trip, and don’t confuse it with a lack of interest in sex.

      You’re going through your bedtime routine, but to get in the mood for sex, and it backfired. Everything you’re doing to set the night up for sex or making love is what you usually do at bedtime, right before going to sleep. You’re trying to make the night perfect for sex, but you’re making it hard for them and you to stay awake; you made the ideal situation for falling asleep, but you want sex instead.

      They can barely keep their eyes open and slip in and out of sleep mode when you want to step it up and get a little nasty, but you’ll get pissed when they yawn and wipe the crust from their eyes. You’re pissed because their eyes are closed, but you should be looking inward for the reason you’re in this situation and the position you put them in. You’re pissed because they’re drifting off; they’re pissed because you’re pissed. After all, they’ve completed their pre-sleep routine, and you’re faulting them for being sleepy. They’re not just pissed; they feel like shit because they now realize what you were trying to do, and they can’t fully enjoy the experience because they’re half asleep.

      You’re bent sideways because you spent 20 minutes in the bathroom, putting on something sexy you bought to turn them on; that’s 20 minutes they were in bed, falling asleep. You woke them up an hour after they fell asleep or in the middle of the night, wanting sex. You’re complaining about the lack of sex or that it doesn’t last long enough; there’s no foreplay, or you only get it when they want to give it to you, not when you want it.

      Could it be because you want it so late at night, or you’re trying to re-enact something you saw, read, or heard about? Why are you waiting so late at night, after they’ve fallen asleep, trying to satisfy a sexual fantasy spontaneously?

      You got mad because they turned on the TV. They turned the music off or changed it to something faster. They blew out the candles and turned the lights on. You thought they were trying to ruin the night or the romance, but they’re just honestly trying to wake up, get out of sleep mode, and give you what you’re asking.

      You think it’s about you as a couple, but it’s about your timing; your preparation and planning didn’t account for putting each other in sleep mode. You act like you’re not half asleep or dozing off because you waited too long, and now you’re also slipping in and out of consciousness, but you’ll blame each other because you don’t want to admit your planning was flawed.

After one orgasm apiece, they rolled over and tried to go to back sleep, but you wanted more; that’s what sleep mode will do to you.

      You took offense when they fell asleep right after instead of cuddling. You think you’re putting them in the mood for lovemaking or sex, but you’re unwittingly tucking them in for the night. Instead, the slow, intimate, and sensual act of making love relaxed them even more; the quiet, deep, hard rhythm of your sex was rocking them to sleep.

      Then, out of the blue, you want to instantly switch gears and turn her over on her hands and knees and take it from behind like an animal in heat when she’s in half-sleep mode. She’s want to get on top and ride him like a bull while he’s in sleep mode, and that’s not going too well at all either.

      Before you criticize, get offended and accuse each other of not being in the moment, ask yourself what mood they were in when you made your move. What mode did you set the night up for, sleep or sex? Did you put them in sleep mode, thinking you were going to surprise them with sex? Are you trying to rekindle your dwindling sex life out of the blue when they’re used to getting in bed and going to sleep? You’ve never done anything like this before, and you’re pissed off because they can’t keep awake.

      They weren’t feeling well and took something to help them sleep, making things worse. You figured you had a certain amount of time before the medicine kicked in. You thought it was about you or their lack of interest in having sex or making love, but your planning was flawed, and your timing was terrible. You think you had the perfect night set up, and they ruined it by being tired when you realistically condemned the night to fail before it even started.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


NOV 06, 2021


      You sound dumb as hell when you’re about to come apart at the seams when your man breaks his neck to check out a woman who just walked by, but you say nothing when he’s at the strip club every weekend, spending money to have women take her clothes off. He’s taking rent, food, and rainy-day money that could go in savings and paying women to shake their ass in his face or run her nipples across his lips.

      Apparently, one’s disrespectful when the other’s just fine. It may not be fine, but it doesn’t change the fact that a half-naked woman grinding on his lap and sending him home to you horny as hell is less offensive than a fully clothed woman walking by while shopping.

Is it because you caught him looking or because other people caught him looking? Is it because you were together when he was looking or because you understand why he was looking? When he comes home from the strip club, wanting sex, it doesn’t bother you that he’s turned on because of the fantasy that stripper put in his head, and he’s pretending you’re that woman on stage he just bought $75 worth of lap dances from.

      Are you more lenient with your man acting a fool at the strip club because you know the stripper is just playing a role? Of course, she’s playing out a fantasy to earn money, but some men are easily fooled into thinking that dancer has an attraction to him, but you don’t think your man’s that stupid. If he’s dumb enough to break his neck to check out a woman’s ass with you standing next to him, he’s dumb enough to believe there’s a stripper at the club who likes him.

      The question is, are YOU really that stupid, thinking men aren’t always trying to hook up with a stripper? In his mind, strippers are hookers with a smaller probability of having an STD, and he can’t be arrested for solicitation for prostitution.

      You think your man goes to the strip club to hang out with his friends and the dancers are just there as secondary entertainment. You need to realize your man would absolutely, positively not pay for a lap dance from a stripper he doesn’t find physically attractive and sexually appealing; that’s part of the fantasy.

      Regarding the woman you caught him staring at, he’s not to leave you standing there and approach her; he could appreciate her for being attractive or well-built, and that’s as far as it’ll go. You’ll go upside his for looking at her, but you won’t say anything when he comes home from the strip club, knowing he did way more than look when you weren’t around.

      He could’ve turned around because he thought he knew the woman that walked by, or she looked familiar; she’s dating one of his friends, or they work together. He could be every pound of the rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate ass he made himself out to look like, but all he did was look, and she was gone forever 45 seconds later. He goes to the strip club every Friday night to see a stripper named Ecstasy and pay her to dance and grind in his lap until he shoots a load in his pants; then he comes home to you, wanting to have sex, and you think it’s you that turns him on.

      It seems he keeps looking at someone in particular, and you flipped the hell out on him. Then, the night before, he came home, smelling like baby lotion and strawberries with his face half-covered with body glitter, and you said absolutely nothing. You’re more irritated by what he did in front of you, but you keep your mouth shut about what he does behind your back. You know what he does because he’s dumb enough to tell you; he posts it on social media, or his friends get high or drunk, and they talk about it when they come over in front of you.

      You care more about a woman who walked by and said hello to both of you, and he was the one who responded. You told him there was no reason to say anything to her, but you say nothing when it comes to women who undress, dance, and rub upon him for money.

Her job is to create and offer him a taste of a fantasy you deny him, and she charges him to continue that fantasy in the form of tips and lap dances. He’ll “Make it rain” cash to keep it going. There’s something about the stripper at the club who calls herself “ButtaCream” that gets him riled up to have sex, but he doesn’t want to be a cheater, or she keeps turning him down. He makes you the second choice; he might as well have sex with you since you’re his lady.

      You’re a sexual surrogate for “Thickalicious,” which is who he truly wants to bend over and push his meat into.

Neither situation is okay with you, but for some reason, you won’t speak up when it comes to the strippers. You’ll lose your mind when you catch your man looking at another woman, though. You speak up about the fully dressed woman who didn’t give him a second look. You accept he watches other women dance half-naked, wearing just a thong. You accept his ritual of hitting the strip club every weekend without a word, but the woman you did get pissed off about was fully dressed in yoga pants, a t-shirt, or jeans.

      He’s thinking and wondering what the big deal is when you know he goes to the strip club. He thinks you’re okay with it because you haven’t said anything to the contrary. Sooner or later, he’s going to hit the dance club and assume you won’t say anything if other women dance upon him when you’re not around. To him, it’s the same as tipping a stripper when he’s buying women's drinks. You expect him to enjoy himself and get lap dances. It’s only a matter of time before he looks at all women the same way wherever he goes, and you should be okay with it by the way you’re okay with him going to the strip club.

      You allowed him to assume it’s okay for him to check out other women or even speak to them because you know he talks to strippers, and he knows too much about them just to be innocent or friendly. He knows about her personal life, and that’s not cool at all; that goes WAY past inappropriate, but you haven’t said anything, so why would he think you’d have a problem with it? Being in a relationship and regularly paying women to dance naked for money is a pretty shitty thing to do, but you’re just as much to blame as he is because you have said anything. You tell everyone else how much it bothers you except for the person who should hear it the most; that’s YOUR fault!


      There’s no difference between getting lap dances and a woman at the club grinding on his crotch; that’s how she makes her money.

Making him want to have sex with her is what she gets paid to do. Getting men turned on and making him horny is her job, not his to capitalize on it or extend an invitation to go further. If you’re not going to speak up about naked women shaking their ass and breasts in your man’s face, you sound silly as hell getting mad because he watched a woman walk by with all her clothes on. Instead, you’re getting mad at the softer version of what’s keeping your mouth shut.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Oct 10, 2021


      You walked up and asked a woman for her phone number. She thanked you for the flattering approach and told you she was married or had a man. Instead of taking that and walking away, you turned around and offered her your number. Again, she politely said no thank you. After coming at her like that, do you really think she’s dumb enough to believe now you sincerely want to be “Just friends”? She’s clearly not interested, and there’s nothing you can do or say to change her mind. You got desperate, and you’ll do anything to keep from walking away empty-handed. Before you know it, you’re begging.

      Before you jump headfirst in denial river, ask yourself if you even realize how stupid you look? How ridiculous do you sound? Do you know where you are or what you’re doing? You’re begging; more than you realize it, but you’re begging. You might not be saying PLEASE, but you’re still begging. When someone tells you “No,” anything you come back with is begging. When you get mad or offended because you got rejected, even your insults are attempts at begging to continue a dialogue with her, even if it’s negative. When you ask why she’s not interested or can’t exchange numbers, you’re begging her for an explanation.

      She told you she wasn’t interested or had a man, but you still offered to buy her a drink; you’re begging. When you walked up behind her on the dance floor and started grinding on her, she moved away. Unfortunately, you didn’t get the hint or couldn’t take your friends laughing, and you chose to make it worse. You chased her around the floor, trying, again and again, to rub your crotch on her ass, and she kept moving. Sooner or later, she walked off or tore you a new asshole. After a few minutes, her man came over and knocked you the hell out.

      That whole chase was you begging. You weren’t cool; you and your friends were the only ones who thought she was playing hard to get. Everyone else watching knew you got turned down, but you refused to walk away. You were too embarrassed to get rejected, but not to make yourself look stupid for begging, as long your humiliation was on you and not at the hands of anyone else.

      You’re begging for sex. You’re begging for a chance to convince her to have sex with you. You’re begging her to want you over everyone else she sees or knows. You’re spending time and going out together, begging her to see you for something you’re not, to have sex with you. Every date, phone call, or text message is you begging for ass. First, you’re begging a woman you just met to put aside their relationship, marriage, and family to have sex with you; then, you took it as an insult when they sent you packing. Then, when all else failed, you used an offer of friendship as a last-ditch opportunity to beg one last time.

      When you’re throwing “Game,” you’re begging. You’re trying to convince her to give you a chance with shit you used on so many other women, and you couldn’t be honest or real about yourself if you tried. You have no personality of your own; you never had one. You’re boring as hell, and you believe and live in your own bullshit. You’re begging 2 completely different types and classes of women with the same shit. You’re running the same game on a 40+-year-old woman as you’d beg a 23-year old. Older women have more experience dealing with players, and they’ll see you're begging a lot sooner.

      If you’re lying, you’re begging. If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re begging. If you’re bragging, you’re begging. If you’re using a game because you’re boring, otherwise, you’re begging. Call it what you want, but you’re begging in the simplest of forms. You’re begging someone to believe you have more money, nicer things, a bigger car, more potential, or you’re a better person than you really are. When you’re trying to impress someone or when you’re not yourself, you’re begging. When you’re trying to get physically closer, hold her hand, or put your arm around her when she keeps moving away from you, you’re begging.

      You’re begging when you’re trying to convince someone you’re different from who you really are. For example, you’re married or have a girlfriend with kids at home, but you’re out begging other women for a hook-up. She’s not going to give it up on the first night, so you’re going to have to put some time and effort into her; that’s begging. You know she’s guarded, and you have to prove yourself, and that involves begging. You’re begging her to believe you don’t have somebody at home who thinks they’re you’re one and only, and you’re not out, begging other women.

      You’re begging her to trust you enough to give you some ass. When your wife or lady starts to get suspicious, you now have to beg 2 women into believing your bullshit.

      Why’s this so hard for you to see when it’s clear to everyone else? Are you so focused on what you want that you don’t realize how obvious your begging is? You’re not joking when it’s the 2nd or 3rd sexual comment about hooking up with one of your female friends. You’re not just kidding when you keep bringing up a threesome. Every time you ask for something you’ve already been denied, you’re begging. 

      Just because you were drinking doesn’t mean you weren’t serious. You didn’t want it to be so apparent. You’re masking your begging as joking, being persistent, or determined; it’s still begging.

      You’re still begging for sex; you’re not a player. You don’t have any game. You’re not the big man your friends think you are. You’re a pussy panhandler. You might as well be asking for change outside the grocery store. She already told you no, and coming back with another option like being just friends is you begging her to reconsider her initial rejection. When she said, “Not right now,” she meant NO! but you came back later and asked again; that’s begging.

      When you know they’re in a relationship, and you’re trying to get them to leave, that’s begging. Women spend years waiting and begging a man to leave his wife and their life for them. Men will make moves on a married co-worker or his friend’s lady, hoping to wear them down eventually. Men and women will beg each other to believe something they made happen or create reasonable doubt about their partner. They’ll beg you to believe they have your best interest in mind when they tell you shit they heard or think. You want to be friends so you can influence them, keep tabs on, and keep them single and available until you can have them; it’s all begging.

      When you see your ex with someone else, and you make a scene, you’re begging. You’re begging for their attention; you’re begging them for a reaction. You’re begging that other person not to give your ex a chance because you’re not done with them or want revenge.

      Of all the people you come across during the course of a normal day, why are you begging someone who doesn’t want you? Why are you making a fool of yourself, begging somebody who’s going to make a fool out of you because you won’t take a hint?



Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Aug 22, 2021


      There’s confidence, and there’s flashy; then there’s you. You’re a lighthouse in the middle of the room, blinding everyone around you. You’re a bright-ass Christmas tree, elegantly decorated with thousands of twinkling lights and six pounds of tinsel with nothing underneath. So naturally, you’re not happy until everyone notices you, and you go out of your way to be the most talked-about person wherever you go.

      Everyone’s talking about you all right, but not the way you think they are. You’re an empty box wrapped in shiny paper with a big red bow. Everything you are is on the outside. It’s called “Peacocking,” and you’re a master at it.

      You’re not happy unless all eyes are on you, from your shoes to your sunglasses indoors in the middle of the night to your jewelry to your hair and nails. Nothing’s out of place, but you’re still whipping your weave around, smacking people in the face. You’re the girl who’ll come out half-dressed with the bottom of your ass and cleavage hanging out but complain when you get hit on. You and your girlfriends shove their way out to the middle of the dance floor to rub and grind on each other to the wails and whistles from the guys around you, but you’ll push anyone off who asks you to dance. You want attention; you’re not interested in meeting one good guy; you want EVERY hot guy to hit on you.

      You’re the guy who pulls up to the front door, windows down, blaring his music at peak level, making sure everyone hears you. You’re at the car wash with your music even louder. You want every other guy to think you’re the shit and every woman to think you’re someone you’re really not. You’re both empty as hell inside because you’re trying so hard to make your outside sparkle.

      The package isn’t even nice-looking; between your gold teeth and ring on every finger to the poorly matched or blended foundation on your face, you look ridiculous. You’re on the treadmill, putting on makeup, or your focus is solely on your chest and biceps, and you looked deformed.

      You have on WAY too much cologne or perfume, and you’re just at the grocery store. You’re more concerned with how you look than how you’re seen or viewed. You’re your own Paparazzi, snapping pictures and taking videos of yourself all night long. You don’t know 10% of the people on your social media page, but you NEED all 2,300 people to like everything you say or to comment on the picture of the muffin you’re about to eat. There’s a difference between the real deal and a peacock. Peacocks play the role of the real deal, long enough to fool people who don’t know they’re full of shit. The real deal will look at a peacock and clown them to no end.

      Men come in three major types of peacocks: the daredevil, the pretty boy, and the rich kid. The daredevil wants everyone to think he has no fear; always quick to show off and embarrass someone if it means stealing attention. The daredevil will try so daredevil shit, but he’s scared to death the entire way. The pretty boy is the guy who spends more time in the bathroom, primping and pressing while getting ready to go out. He’s the manicure/pedicure guy who spends just as much on beauty products as his lady; they wear the same size clothes. His voice is high-pitched when he talks, and it’s hard for him to make guy friends because he doesn’t see them on his level. The rich kid is all about showing off what he has, what he can afford, and what he can buy if you hook up with him, but he absolutely has NO INTENTION of spending a dime on you. He wants to show you what he COULD do for you, not what he WILL do for you.

      For women, her dominant peacocks are the model, the bitch, and the tease. The model will spend her money on expensive clothes but tuck the tags inside so she can return them the next day. She walks into a room and makes an intentional scene or “Subtle” form of attention-getting gesture that gets all eyes on her. She flashes photos of herself so that everyone will notice her. She won’t talk to, or dance with anyone she thinks will take away from her being the center of attention. The model tries to intimidate other women she thinks are as pretty as she is, but inside, she’s a hot ball of insecurity, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.

      The bitch wants everyone to think she’s street smart and hardcore. She’s not used to other women standing up to her because she hangs out with other bitches, and she has safety in her numbers. She acts like she has men wrapped around her finger like puppets for her to lead around, but she really wants one person to love her, treat her well, and calm her ass down.

      The tease is simple; she gets off, making men think they’re going to get laid. She wants everyone to think she’s as confident and sexy as she’s putting out in the open, but she thinks poorly of herself. The tease will do what she can to get attention, but she wants to feel sexy and desired. She doesn’t get it at home, and she hates the way her tummy looks or her stretch marks. She hates her body but shows off her assets through her clothing. She needs to know other men still find her attractive, even if she has a man. She’ll peacock her way past men and act like she’s offended by their catcalling, but it makes her feel good about herself; the more vulgar they are, the sexier she feels. She knows she has a great personality, but that’s not what men are attracted to.

      You’re too flashy and flamboyant. Everyone around you knows you’re doing it. You’re being flashy but also hiding what you’re self-conscious about. You’re showing your feathers because that’s the best thing about you; how you look is the only thing you have going for you. Your ability to blind people on sight with your flash is your weapon. You’re trying your hardest to look like you’re not trying at all. We all know that’s not how you look or act anywhere else. When peacocks flirt, they walk by over and over again. Their pace gets slower each time they pass, and make sure you see them. He makes sure you see him prancing, showing off his feathers. Women talk and laugh loud enough for everyone to hear and take notice. She makes it a point to run or bump into you by accident. She plays the damsel in distress role.

      When you’re out and about, you’re a peacock; when you’re by yourself or when it comes to someone you like, you’re a chicken; with people you know, you’ll be yourself.

      You’re padding your pushup bra that’s too small, playing with your imitation high-dollar watch, and showing off your fake designer purse. You’re flashing a wad of cash, but it’s a couple of $20 bills wrapped around $100 in $1 bills. Peacocking is showing off on a superhuman level. People who don’t know better think you’re the shit, but the real deal is looking at you like shit. They aren’t calling you out because sooner or later, the truth will come out. Your fake ass will tarnish your shit green. You’ll eventually come across someone who’ll make you prove yourself or admit your bullshit in public, in front of your partner or friends.

      There are two types of peacocks: selective and obsessive. Selective peacocks try to attract mates they know or a single person for the night or situation. Obsessive peacocks want attention from anyone and to be noticed by everyone. Selective peacocking is more dangerous for women because she puts herself in a position to go outside her comfort zone to attract the object of her interest, especially when the guy knows exactly what she’s doing. He’ll position her into going past her boundaries to keep his interest. Men risk more when they’re obsessive; they make hasty and impulsive choices that could jeopardize their health and safety when he’s just trying to find something to hook up with for the night.

      When you’re peacocking, you’re showing your very best, polished and shiny. Peacocking is temporary with a short-term goal. There’s no thought to the future; what’s going to happen once they get to know you and find out you’re an empty shell? Even when you get what or who you want, you won’t stop peacocking. You’ll continue to show your feathers even if it’s not to attract a mate but to be seen. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


JUN 6, 2021


      Much younger men may be into older women solely for sex, but some actually prefer the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of dating older women. Some guys have no issues admitting they’d rather be taught to please an older, more mature woman than to waste time on women closer to their age or younger. Some men have too much pride to admit they don’t have the skills to back up their bragging, and they’ll do the best they can, and when it’s not enough, he’ll blame the woman or walk away to avoid being embarrassed.

      While some men get off on tearing through younger, less experienced women like a hot knife through butter, others prefer the emotional and physical satisfaction or bragging rights that come from getting compliments from more mature women who have more experience and have had more partners or relationships under her belt; he’d rather go the distance with a contender than knock out an amateur.

      With age comes knowledge, both good and bad. They’ve learned through life experience, choices, successes, and mistakes. If your communication is strong, you can learn a lot about life and sex from someone with more experience, and most older women will go out of their way to keep you from screwing up too bad if you allow her to. She’s not just book smart and bed smart; she’s street smart as well. Older women won’t come down to a younger man’s level; she’ll require him to upgrade to her level, and if he refuses or fails to do so, she’ll end it and walk away.

      Except for a small percentage, older women have their games out of their system or down to a small fraction. She’s past the waiting game; if she likes what she sees, she’ll walk up to a man and introduce herself. She doesn’t need to play hard to get; she doesn’t need a man to pursue or chase her. She believes in inequality. Older women don’t need to wait for him to contact her first; she’ll reach out to him if she likes him. She doesn’t have to have many men all over her buying her drinks or asking her out. She doesn’t use sex to control her relationships.

      Her communication skills could be light years ahead of women his own age; they can talk to each other and understand or agree. They can agree to disagree. He sees older women as being able, to be honest without being insulting or argumentative. They can debate without yelling or threatening to withhold sex because she knows if she cuts you off, she’s cutting herself off as well. They’re beyond the mind-reading expectation; they’re not afraid to be upfront about what they want or are willing to give and what’s off-limits.

      She doesn’t have to be right all the time; she picks her battles and has no problems walking away from a potential argument, especially if it’s over something petty and unworthy of too much thought. Men choose older women because he believes she doesn’t have to always be in control. Older women don’t go to bed angry over small shit, she wants peace and harmony in the house, and she’ll stay up and keep you up until it’s settled.

      She’s doesn’t think every man’s out to get something from her. She knows some men aren’t any good but doesn’t think ALL men are dirty. Older women are less jealous, especially when they have a good man, and she can recognize she has a good man better than women his own age. She doesn’t need to check his phone, car, or gym bag. He can go out with his friends, and she doesn’t need him to check in every 90 minutes.


      She’s not on guard all the damn time and isn’t suspicious of everything. Older women are better at spotting the player game, and if they believe they’re staring down the barrel of a player’s shotgun, she’ll back off and let him do his thing. She doesn’t need to keep tabs on him; if he’s going to mess around, she knows there’s nothing she can do to stop it; everything done in the dark will eventually come to light. She shows him respect; there’s no “Letting” each other do anything; she tells him how she feels and allows him to make up his own mind.

      Her children are grown or at least old enough to have their own things going on. There are no issues with babysitters or lack of spontaneity because of the kids. You don’t have to wait 2 weeks until it’s their dad’s weekend. Her children don’t have any issues with their mom dating. They can drive so they don’t have to play chauffeur back and forth to every single game, practice, or rehearsal.

      Older women are more in touch with her uninhibited, sensual side; she doesn’t care if he’s always pawing at her, trying to show her how sexy she is, and can’t wait to get his hands on her because she’s doing the same thing to him.

      She’s more financially mature and believes in being equal when it comes to financing dates. She doesn’t expect him to pay for everything, and she’ll ask him out and cover the bill; she wants him to know the interest is mutual and he has nothing to prove by how much he spends. She appreciates his not needing to impress her with materialistic shit. She understands and is more considerate of his finances and won’t go overboard. Sure, some older women will take advantage of a man just as much as a woman his own age, but it’s less likely.

      Older women are more openly affectionate. She doesn’t care what other people think if they see her kissing her man. As long as he’s happy, she’s happy; she could care less if someone has issues with their public affection. She’s more exciting and adventurous than women his age. They’re sexually creative; he knows she has experience in the bedroom he may never have even thought about. He prefers older women because they can teach him things to make him a better lover for women his own age. Their sex will make him more confident in his skills and abilities.

      Older women understand and appreciate the idea of not being a traditional “Bed sexual” lover. She enjoys his spontaneity and sensuality in both public and private. Older women know and understand the importance of sex in their relationships. She’s as eager to please and satisfy him as she was when she was a teenager but with way more knowledge and superior technique. Older women won’t wait for him to initiate sex; if she wants it, she’ll go after it, not make it his responsibility.

      Being able to satisfy a woman his own age or younger may be an ego boost, but tapping out an older woman is worthy of some trophy; he’s winning the sexual lottery. Being one of the best lovers an older woman has had is better than any young woman can give because she’s had more lovers with more experience. Having older women want him makes him feel like a better lover all the way around.

      She won’t complain about him wanting sex all the time like the women he usually dates. She likes that he can barely keep his hands off her. Older women know the importance of being complimentary before, during, and after sex. She doesn’t just lie there, scared or embarrassed to say anything because someone might hear her. She knows what she likes and wants, and she’ll ask for it without hesitation.

      Older women have more self-confidence; they accept what they can’t change and don’t dwell or obsess on it; instead, they’re proactive in what they can change or improve. They don’t make him listen to everything she hates about herself every night. She’ll show off her curves and figure even if she’s not a size 6, as long as she knows her man likes it and turns him on. With maturity comes less dramatic behavior; she knows how and when to mind her own business and not get caught in office gossip or rumors; she knows when to keep her mouth shut and doesn’t always need to take part in a conversation or even offer a listening ear to bullshit.

      She can make up her own mind about what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell her friends to back off and mind her own if they don’t like who she’s with. It’s a good thing if their mutual friends got along, but it’s not that serious or relationship-threatening if they don’t. His friends don’t have to like her and vice-versa, just as long as they respect each other. She doesn’t need to be one of the guys, and they don’t have to do everything together.

      Funny enough, he doesn’t have to wonder what she’ll look like when she’s older. She’s honest about what she wants, whether just sex or a relationship, and she’s adamant about which one she wants. Older women who know how to love to know how to give and accept love. She knows the difference between love and being in love. Older women are more aware of what it takes to have a successful relationship and be a woman in an actual relationship.

      Except for a small percentage, older women have their games out of their system or down to a small fraction. She’s past the waiting game; if she likes what she sees, she’ll walk up to a man and introduce herself. She doesn’t need to play hard to get; she doesn’t need a man to pursue or chase her. She believes in inequality. Older women don’t need to wait for him to contact her first; she’ll reach out to him if she likes him. She doesn’t have to have many men all over her buying her drinks or asking her out. She doesn’t use sex to control her relationships. 


 Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


APR 25, 2021


     You got into some shit with somebody from the party or at the club. The parking lot, grocery store, or gas station is always a hotspot for impatience and confrontation. You got thrown out of the bar, you left the store on your own, or your friends pulled you away before things got physical. Common sense tells you to go home and forget about it, but there’s a voice that won’t let you drop it. That voice is hyping you up for revenge. That voice belongs to the people that pulled you away in the first place. Now you’re in the car, waiting for the night to be over or until the people you had a problem with coming out. It’s over and done with, and you want to go, but your friends will challenge you to reclaim your respect.

     Why so much concern about your respect? Your friends think you should be looking for the person or people who disrespected you. The same friends that pulled you away from the confrontation or stepped in to keep you from fighting are now handing you a gun and telling you to go back and handle your business. They’re telling you to go and kill someone who stepped on your $200 sneakers or bumped into you, and their apology wasn’t good enough. You were drunk and bumped into somebody, and they suggested you apologize, but you didn’t think you had to. The fact they said anything to you was reason enough for you to want to fight; at least that’s what your friends told you.

     You got into a fight one on one, and you got your ass kicked. Your friends told you they were on their way so you can get payback. You’re a badass now; you’ll go back talking shit to jump the guy that beat you fair and square because now it’s 3 on 1. They tell you they’ve got your back, and you like your odds better. You ended up face to face with somebody you knew you couldn’t beat, and you barely made it out before you got knocked the hell out. According to your friends, you got “Punked,” and you need to get your respect back. The only way you were going to do that was to jump him or shoot him.

     Why are your image and respect that important to anyone else? What’s in it for them to have you do something stupid in retaliation to a stupid situation? The initial incident wasn’t even that serious, so why are they giving you a gun to get you into some deeper shit? Why would you want friends like that? They got you even drunker, high, and pissed off, then sent you out behind the wheel and/or armed. At the very least, they put you at risk for a DUI or accident. All because they’re concerned about YOUR image.

      Their respect comes from your respect. They can’t demand their respect if you lose your respect. Your reputation as somebody who’ll come after you just for fun is what they need from you. You’re their enforcer and executioner. Somebody “Looked at you wrong.” Somebody’s looking at your lady. You thought somebody was giving you a nasty look or in your general direction, and you don’t like it. Your friends talked you into waving a gun around for intimidation. It’s good for their reputation to have people fear you and think you’re a killer, but they’ll be the first to leave you high and dry when somebody else has a gun, and they’ve been trained to use theirs.

     Your “Boys” thought you needed to know your ex is with a guy at the club, and she’s disrespecting you by being at your old spot with another man. You need to come “Handle your business.” Your friends talked you into leaving your woman to come to act a damn fool over a woman you broke up with a year ago, just because you have kids together. She’s spitting in your face because everyone at the club knows you used to be together. “Once yours is not always yours.” Your friends tell you to come to straighten out your ex or handle the guy she’s with. He could be a co-worker, friend, or even a relative, and you drove your dumb ass to the spot and acted a damn fool.

     You’re ready to jump on a guy who got with the woman you wanted, but she didn’t want you. All the women belong to you, and they’re just waiting for you to choose one. Any man who beats you to the one you want disrespects you because they should’ve known better; he’s supposed to know better. Your friends talked you into going over and telling him to back off because you saw her first.

     You don’t even know why you’re angry or about to get into some shit other than your friends telling you to be angry. Your friends are talking to you into going after a woman you didn’t even want, just because she has friends they want. You got turned down because she’s married or has a man, but your friends won’t accept that. She’s made you look like a fool when she said, “Thank you, but no, thank you.” She’s disrespecting you by not cheating on her husband. She’s going to give you her number and hook up with you whether she likes it or not because your reputation’s on the line.

     She wouldn’t let you come up behind her and grind on her ass, and when she left you hanging on the dance floor, your friends made fun of you. That was enough to put your hands on her. Nobody cares about your respect but you. The person who had you move your car from the red zone is just doing their job and obeying the law; you’re letting your friends convince you it’s personal, and you’re being disrespected. You took a swing at an employee who said you had too many items to use the express line.

     Your friends are the ones you should be careful and worried about. A true friend wouldn’t do anything to put your freedom or your life in jeopardy, so who are these people that would give you a razor blade, knife, or gun to take someone else’s life? Why would your friends tell you to hurt your lady or your ex for moving on after you cheated or because she wants you to straighten up your act, right? It’s because she wants you to concentrate on your family and leave that old life behind. Your so-called “Friends” have you thinking you have to prove yourself to them. Why are they trying to talk you into going back into a situation they fought so hard to pull you out of, this time, with a gun? They’re still talking about it after it’s said and done, and you went back to having fun. They won’t let it go and won’t let you either.

     They tell you there’s so much more on the line, and people are going to walk all over you if you don’t stand up for yourself. This isn’t standing up for yourself, and this is somebody trying to talk you into committing aggravated assault or even murder. They’re telling you it’s either them or you, but someone’s getting their ass beat or shot. You have to prove yourself if you want to continue being friends because they can’t hang out with someone who’ll let people disrespect them.

     They’re putting everything on you. They were the ones who started some shit, and they contracted you to deal with it. If something goes wrong, everything falls on you while your hands stay clean. Even if the results were accidental, you’re going to bear the full weight of the consequences. You think you’re a friend by not talking when you’re caught, but they’ll sing like a bird if/when the shoe’s on the other foot. You’ll be nothing but a short-term memory while you rot in prison. What’s in it for them? Your job. Your lady. To get you out of the way, to take over your drug/gang territory. Money. Scapegoat. Blackmail. Revenge. You think these are your friends; friends have your best interest, safety, and well-being in mind. If they’re giving you a gun or telling you to hurt someone because they disrespected you, they’re not your friend; they’re using you.

     Please open your eyes; these people aren’t your friends; you’re their hurdle. You’re their obstacle. You’re the go-to guy when they need you or need you to take a risk or a fall for them while they sit back and wait for you to fail, get caught, or worse. They know you’re dumb enough to do some stupid shit for them. All they had to do was dare you or challenge your respect in the neighborhood. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


MAR 18, 2021


     It’s time to stop wishing and start fishing. Stop wishing things in your relationship would change and take a stand for what you want and need. Stop wishing your man was better with money. Stop wishing your lady didn’t need to go out and party so much. If you love your man but wish he was better with money, tell him he needs to do better with the money, take control of the bank book, or find yourself a man who’s better with money; the same goes for your party girl. You sound like a broken record, complaining about how much you love your partner or spouse, but you wish there were something different about them. If you want something different, communicate that, find it different, or shut the hell up about it.

     Complaining about whatever’s bothering you or causing turmoil in your relationship day after day after day does nothing but frustrate the hell out of you and makes you both miserable. You’re always pissed, and they’re calling you a nag. You knew what they were about when you met; you knew how they were, but you thought they’d change or eventually evolve and grow out of it. Here you are 2 years later, and he’s still going to the strip club every weekend; she’s still going out with her girlfriends, getting shitfaced, almost blackout drunk, and puking until 6 am Saturday.

     If they were going to stop, they would have by now; but nothing’s changed. And why should it? You know how they are; you knew how they were when you met. You got into a relationship with them, knowing exactly what type of person they were and what you were getting into. How dare you expect them to grow up and change for you and your relationship? How dare you expect them to stop smoking pot? How dare you expect them to stop smoking in the car when the baby’s in the back seat with the windows rolled up? How dare you expect him to limit watching sports to make time for you?

     He can’t expect her to give up on spending so much money on shoes or purses. You pay $50 a month for a gym membership she doesn’t use, to have the scanned tag all the other women in the office have. You wish she’d make coffee at home, but she wants to walk into the office with the $12 brand-name coffee house cup like everyone else. Stop wishing she’d dress as sexy as she did before the kids and tell her what you want, or tell her not to get pissed when you don’t want to go out when she’s dressed like a soccer mom.

     Stop wishing and start fishing. Stop wishing for changes that aren’t coming. Stop complaining about shit, and you’re doing nothing about it but complaining about it. Talk about it, do something about it, or shut the hell up about it!

     Stop wishing to your friends and family. Stop wishing to people who have absolutely nothing to do with what’s going on in your house. Stop inviting people into your misery. All you’re going to get is bad advice, advice from everyone, and gossip. You’ll people telling you to do something about it or shut the hell up about it because they’re sick of hearing your mouth about the same shit day in and day out. You love them, but you wish they were different? Stop wishing and start fishing for a solution or the shortest route to the closest exit. Do you even know what you want, or do you want things to be different from what they are now? You have what’s bothering you down cold, but do you have any suggestions on making things better? How is it that you can state your wishes to everyone else, except the person you’re wishing would change?

     Stop wishing for more or better sex; get nasty with it. Stop wishing they’d take the initiative to change up the positions and put your own legs behind your head, cross your ankles, and work that shit. Stop wishing she’ll get the hint; flip her on her side, lift her leg and slide that shit in. Stop begging for more than just enough foreplay to get you wet before they start trying to jam themselves inside of you just to get pissed off because you’re not instantly wet, then turn around and use that against you to avoid having sex. You love them, but you want more? Ask for more, demand more. Either shut the hell up about it or take action. When he’s asleep, climb on top and handle your business. Walk up, bend her over and go for yours, or find someone who wants to give you more of what you want and wants what you have to give.

     Stop wishing your kids listened more and behaved better. If they can’t or won’t follow the rules, it’s time for them to go. Sterilize their bedrooms; take out the TV, gaming system, laptop, etc. Whatever they have in their room that makes being sent to their room no big damn deal, make it go away. Make being sent to their rooms a punishment again. Stop wishing your kids would pick up their toys. It’s been years, and you’re still picking up after them. Stop wishing and start throwing their shit away!

     Follow through with your threats. If you don’t spank, don’t use it as a threat; if you do and you tell them they’re going to get it, then tear that ass up when they get out of pocket. Stop wishing and start fishing for ways to get them to do what they’re supposed to do. Stop wishing they’d do their chores; they tell you to hold on, and they’ll take out the trash later, don’t say shit, take the bag out the can and dump that shit on their bed. You wish your partner were stricter with the kids, double up on their punishment; no rule says you can’t add to their punishment. Double jeopardy doesn’t apply! Stop wishing and start fishing!

     Stop wishing you went out more. Start going out by yourself or with your friends. If your man wants to stay home and watch the game, let him. Please put on the sexiest thing you own, kiss him goodbye, and head towards the door. He’ll flip out over what you’re wearing and question why you chose that short, low-cut dress that shows off your curves and cleavage. Tell him because it makes you feel sexy. Tell him if he has an issue with it, get dressed and come with you or shut the hell up about it. You love him, but you wish you spent more time together? Maybe it’s time to stop wishing and start fishing for a man who enjoys going out with you and having you on his arm. Stop wishing they’d take you dancing. Find yourself some friends who like to go out dancing as much as you do.

     The next time you want sex, and they tell you to wait because they’re watching TV, turn it off, or shut up about it. Tell the kids you and mom will be in your room for the next 15 minutes and not bother you. Stop wishing and start fishing. You want to go out, and they don’t see any reason to, or they tell you they’re tired, get dressed, tell them you’re meeting friends, and head out the door. Treat yourself to a night out.

     Stop wishing they listened to you more. You tried to talk to them about the holiday party at your work, but they put you on hold for some bullshit. You ended up going by yourself dressed like a million dollars, and when you get home, they want to give you the third degree. That’s when you tell them if they REALLY wanted to know anything, they should’ve come with you. When they complain, you never said anything, remind them of when you did try to talk to them about it, but the ball game or finding out if that asshole was the baby’s father was more important.

     Stop wishing and start fishing doesn’t mean going out and cheating. It doesn’t mean trying to make them jealous or possessive. It doesn’t mean just running out and finding someone else every time you get pissed off. Fishing doesn’t mean changing your bait and recasts, hoping to land a bigger, better fish. Fishing doesn’t mean getting a side chick or a guy on the side. Fishing means you’re searching for a solution to a problem. Fishing could mean finding friends to go out with if your man or lady wants to stay at home.

      Fishing could be finding a workout partner when your man or lady doesn’t want to work out. It’s less boring and more challenging when you have someone supporting and pushing you. Fishing could mean joining a group that shares the same interests as you when your partner isn’t interested in things you are. Stop wishing you could look like someone else. Be happy with who you are and what you look like, or do something about it. Do you wish you could lose weight? You won’t lose a damn thing, sitting on your ass, wishing. Join a gym or shut up.

     A little friendly competition between workout partners can play up your game and inspire you to work harder and sweat a little more than if you went about it yourself. Fishing doesn’t necessarily mean walking out on your relationship. Fishing means you need to stop wishing for things to change when you know they won’t.

     Fishing is the result of numerous conversations and begging for the same shit over and over again and hoping things will change when deep down you know they won’t. You let it go on for some long, you know it won’t change, and you’re driving yourself crazy, wishing things were different. They’ve never complained before, so they have no reason to believe they need to change. What you wish for could be petty in the grand scheme, but after 2 years, you’re sick of looking for the damn bread tie or changing the toilet paper roll after someone else uses the last bit. You started covering for them, initially, and now they don’t think about the shit they do.

     Stop wishing when you haven’t said anything. You keep putting her wet towel back in the bathroom after she showers, and you wish to yourself, or under your breath, she’d stop leaving them on the bed. Shut up about it or dump a glass of cold water on her side. Stop wishing he’d help around the house and when he asks about dinner or sex, tell him you were busy doing all the housework by yourself while he watched sports or played video games. Stop wishing after they told you things aren’t going to change. Stop wishing when it’s been 3 years, and you’re STILL wishing. Stop wishing when they tell you things will be different; they’ll change for a while, then go right back to how they were before. Stop wishing, start fishing, or shut the hell up.


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


FEB 28, 2021


     You can’t be in any worse shape than you are now, so why not just bite the bullet and show all your cards now? You got caught, they’re giving you another chance, and they’re even allowing you to come clean about everything. Why wouldn’t you choose complete amnesty and empty your pockets when they can’t get any more hurt, pissed off, or feel worse than what you just put them through?

     Why try to hold on to shit that could very well come back and bite you in the ass later down the line? Why not be upfront in case something comes up after they’ve forgiven you, only to have all the work you put into proving yourself trustworthy again flushed down the toilet because you held on to something that happened before you got caught?

     Men are expected to admit everything he’s done wrong for the entire length of the relationship; women will only cop to what he knows about. She wants his slate completely clean, but she won’t share any more than what he’s aware of. That’s usually because men are likely to have more skeletons in their closet than she does, so he has more to confess. He’s stereotyped to repeat or have repeated his infidelity more than once, and this just happened to be the one time out of a dozen he got caught. He’ll have a harder time convincing his lady this was his first and only time cheating than the other way around.

     Women won’t tell more than what he knows because women have always been seen more as a victim of cheating than men, so her screw-up not only betrays her man, but it also provides men ammunition to point out how much women cheat too. Her infidelity has jeopardized her solidarity among women. The last thing women want is to let it out in the open that they’re just as underhanded and scandalous as men. That way, they can continue being the stereotypical victim and maintain the stigma that men cheat more than women.

     Coming clean about everything once you’re caught should be a no-brainer, so why hide shit that could later come back up like spicy food? Because they want to seem genuinely sorry for what they did, based on what the other person knows. They want to avoid admitting to a pattern that could jeopardize their forgiveness and cause more damage to their relationship. Admitting to cheating once during their 5-year marriage is a hell of a lot better than admitting to cheating 3-4 times. It’s better for their defense than to admit they were cheating the whole time. The focus is on what’s known, not what’s best in the long run. They want the quick-fix, and for them to cop to more than what’s known would be suicide.

     Here’s your chance to change your future for the better, so take it. If they’re allowing you to come clean about anything and everything, you can almost bet they know more than you think they do. That’s your first test to convince them you’re truly remorseful, serious about putting your bullshit behind you, and moving forward like you’re claiming you want to. They know about your other men or women; they’re testing you to see if you’ve learned from your “Mistake” and are ready to account for what you did and earn their trust back. As soon as you lie and say there’s nothing else to tell, you told them they couldn't trust you, and you’ll most likely do it again. That’s all they need to know to cut your ass off and send you packing.

    You got caught lying, and now you’re trying to get them to forgive you for lying, but you’re still lying; you’re lying by omission. Now’s not the time to be cute or get technical with your wording. They’re giving you a chance to expunge your record; why aren’t you making the deal? They’re offering you the choice of going to traffic court or losing your license. Why would you show up to a restaurant and request your main course be served on your used salad plate instead of a clean, fresh one? Why would you start your journey on the road to forgiveness on a lie by not claiming everything you did wrong the last time you took this trip? You’re on the freeway and took the same wrong exists that got you lost the last time.

     Because you don’t want to make things worse, you won’t come clean after you’ve been caught. You don’t want to add more weight to the bar because you think it may be too much weight, and they won’t even try to lift it. You’ve not only underestimated their strength; you’ve set yourself up for failure because it’s too heavy for you to lift. Now, you’ve lost your credibility and reputation as a competent training/relationship partner.

     They know you’re lying and keeping things from them because they know more than you think they do. They’ve put 2 and 2 together, and all the funny feelings and red flags they’ve had during your relationship started to make sense when they found out you were messing around. They tested you, and you failed; miserably. You told them you hadn’t changed a bit; you’re not sorry you lied, you’re sorry you got caught in your lie. You’re not sorry you cheated; you’re sorry you got caught cheating and what it did to you. You didn’t want to come clean because you’re going to go right back out and do it again, just as soon as you get past getting caught. You haven’t changed a bit, and they know it.

     They’re going to take advantage of your own bullshit and make you pay. They’re going make you sit at home, being a goody-goody shut-in while they go out and have fun without you. They’re going to dress better, lose weight/get in shape, upgrade their wardrobe, and flirt with other people. Expect them to give some attention and interest in that person you knew had a thing for them when you were together.

     You’re going to watch them meet other people, date, and even have sex with someone else while you’re trying to prove yourself. They’re going to allow you to jump through every hoop they can come up with to earn back their trust; and when you’ve suffered through all they can throw at you, then they’re going to leave you high and dry with your heart and ego crushed into a fine dust. All because you couldn’t come clean about all your bullshit when they gave you a chance. They offered you detergent with fabric softener, but you chose to wash your clothes in the same dirty water from the first load, and they sat back and let you. 


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


FEB 24, 2021


     DID (Dissociative Personality Disorder) or Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). While we view and assign these labels to people we see as having a mental illness, the truth is that we all pretty much have a cast of dozens living upstairs in our heads. Like DID and MPD, they help and allow people to cope with life and the issues, challenges, and experiences of our daily lives.

     Fear of Abandonment. Unstable relationships. Fluctuating self-image. Impulsive behavior. Self-harm/suicide. Mood swings. The thought or fear that something in their life is missing. Explosive anger. Paranoia. Depression. Sleep disorders. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Phobias. Hallucinations. Eating disorders. These are some of the major symptoms and warning signs of these disorders. Even those we feel and see as "Normal" are guilty of and possess at least 75% of these symptoms. Do we think of ourselves as "Crazy"?

     We all have multiple identities for the same reasons as those diagnosed with DID/MPD. We use and allow them to influence and navigate us through our daily lives. There's not one person on this planet who doesn't have more than one identity floating around and depending on the situation, these identities rotate and show themselves subconsciously. Does that mean we all have a level of what we call mental instability? The only real difference is that those we see as being ill assign actual names and have separate lives to each of their identities. We'll avoid these people like the plague. We make fun of and avoid them. We view and treat them as outcasts and want them locked away from general society. Under that thought process, we should all be diagnosed, institutionalized, or medicated.

     When discussing multiple personalities, there are over 20 different identities we associate with. Even though we don't allow all of them to manifest themselves, they exist and reside in us. Each individual has their own specific combination of identities, which pretty much form our personalities.

- THE ROMANTIC. The lover. This is where our true love and purest form of vulnerability lies, where we open ourselves to feel the emotion without the thought of consequence or hope for personal gain.

- THE SHY LONER. That voice says, "I just want to be left alone today." That identity that keeps you from approaching that guy/girl you've been eyeing the whole night. Keeping your distance and not knowing is better than the possibility of being rejected.

- THE FEARLESS LEADER. The "Take-charge" Alpha/Beta. Who all the other identities go to for direction. People's identity will follow when lost in the woods, and everyone's scared, hungry, wet, or cold. The leader will assign tasks to get a shelter built, a fire going, and fish caught.

- THE MEAN, ANGRY AGGRESSOR. The fighter. Their short fuse gets them in trouble all the time, and they'll blame others for getting them pissed off.

- THE CRITIC. They'll find something wrong with every situation, no matter what. Nothing's good enough. Nothing ever will be.

- THE SLUT/PLAYER. That voice our one-night stands come from. How we justify running for the door as soon as we're done fucking. Our primal sex drive. What makes us stop and check out that girl's fat ass or what makes a woman shove her tongue down the throat of the guy she just met 45 minutes ago. FWB.

- THE JOCK. The athlete and the guy/gal wanted to be an athlete but had to settle for being a fan or in the band. The gym rats. The sports nuts spend the weekends screaming for their favorite or hated teams on television instead of spending time with their family.

- THE GOOF/CLASS CLOWN. This may seem harmless, but this identity can't be taken seriously or taken anything seriously; everything is a fucking joke. But they can also be a spirit-lifter or life of the party.

- THE CREATIVE SPIRIT. This can be a good or bad identity. Not only is this where the positive, creative nature, being handy with a toolbox, and appreciation for art and culture comes from, but the creative spirit is also where deception, lies, and ambiguity originate.

- THE CONFIDENT, OUTGOING (GUY/GIRL). The life of the party. The identity that can walk into ANY room and navigate themselves naturally and organically. They can adapt to any professional or personal setting and feel right at ease.

- THE FEARFUL PHOBIC. Spiders. Snakes. Heights. Water. Rejection. Failure. The reason we don't watch scary movies.

- THE INNER CHILD. That playful, innocent, naive voice that tells us to trust, even when we've been burned in the past. Why we'll go back to someone who cheated on us. Where we see the best in someone, no matter how many times they've burned us.


- THE ROCK. The anchor. The dependable one. That person we can go to for help when we need it. That shoulder you cry on during tragedy. That person who's sleeping in the 2 chairs pushed together to make a bed at the hospital after your car accident. That hand you hold at your mom's funeral.

- THE LAZY SLOB. That voice that tells you you're just fine, working at the local retail store, and you don't need to keep looking for a better job; the reason you don't aspire to go back to school and make something better for yourself.

- THE CAUTIOUS, GUARDED ONE. You've been burned so many times, you've decided it's time to cut that person from your life. Every guy that approaches you only wants one thing. Every woman is only out for money or what she can get you to buy her. But also that voice that tells you to check the back seat before you get into your car at night. What makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when something doesn't see or feel right. The reason you monitor your children's online activity is to make sure they're not putting themselves in danger of being targeted.

- THE IMPULSIVE ONE. Spending part of your rent money to purchase the newest sneaker. Buying a 70" television when you have nothing in savings. Using 3 credit cards to buy shoes and a purse, you have nothing to put into because you're now broke. Financing a new car you can barely afford because you think it'll get you laid. Quitting your job when you don't have another one lined up. Assuming your partner's cheating on you, based on very little info and circumstances.

- THE VULGAR. The potty mouth. They can't form a sentence without jamming as much offense into it as possible. The cabinet where everyone swears word you know is filed.





- THE NERD. That comic book enthusiast. The secret part of us that still enjoys a good cartoon now and then. Why do we spend so much money on video games and systems, even as adults?

- THE PROTECTOR. That, "Mother hen" who won't let her drunk friend go home with the guy she just met. That guy who'll take his friend's keys to keep him/her from driving drunk. Why do we have police officers, firefighters, and a military.

- THE KNIGHT. The ride home from work when you're at the bus stop in the rain at night. The door-opener. The chair-puller. That voice tells you it's your job to pump the gas. That person you can call when your date's being a douchebag because you won't fuck him on the first meeting.

- THE ADONIS. The guy who posts shirtless pictures on his dating profile or social media page. That woman at the gym who wears the super-short, spandex-type shorts on a squat day. The "god's gift" Everyone either wants them or to BE them.

- THE SELFISH OPPORTUNIST. They don't know you until they need something. They're friends with you because you're a lawyer and then can get free legal advice. You're a doctor, and they can get your diagnosis or opinion. You're their ride to work, or you can do their taxes. You're a DD or a couch to crash on.

     Keeping in mind, there are pros and cons to each of these identities, even the knight in shining armor. Everyone has these identities in their subconscious, and while some are more dormant than others, the right situation can, has, and most likely, will awaken them at some point in life. Does that make us any more or less mental than those who are diagnosed with an actual disorder? Are those who are actually aware of their identities and embrace them as part of their lives the "Normal" ones, or are those of us who can't or haven't accepted our own multiple personalities truly the mentally disabled?


Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


FEB 17, 2021


     We all say stupid shit. Both men AND women. In reference to sex, we say stupid shit and have an almost quantum-level gift of saying stupid shit at the absolute worst time possible; before, during, and after sex. I've personally heard and said shit I wish I could take back and erase from my memory. There's something traumatic about getting ready to fuck, only to have the brakes put on because someone said some shit that just fucked the other person's head up. The result? Ruining the mood altogether, deploying the pussy parachute (Check out the article titled, "Reserve Chute" in the Dark Truth column). Or turning what could've been an actual relationship into nothing more than a Hump and Dump.

     It's hard enough when it comes to meeting someone of quality, depending on where we look. Clubs. Bars. Retail stores. Happy hour. The REAL truth is that women have it easier when it comes to approaching men. Even if he's not interested, he's not going to be anywhere NEAR as shitty to her as she would be to him, depending on how insulted she is by his representation of himself and his approach. For the sake of argument, let's say things go as planned, and the two of you end up back at her place or yours; maybe you're in a relationship, regardless of the duration. Hell, you could even be married and still say stupid shit!. No matter what level you're on, there's just some shit you shouldn't say or want to hear. None of us are capable of turning back time, so remember, once you say it, it's out there.

- I HAVE TO PEE. Yeah, say that when you're about to have your dick sucked. That'll turn ANY woman on for sure!

- I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME; I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT. Again, GREAT pre-dick-sucking conversation piece, ASSHOLE.

- CAN YOU TURN OFF THE LIGHT? What better way to fuck up the mood and make a man's dick go down faster than waiting until he's got the head in to stop? Ask him to pull out, walk across the room, and turn the fucking light out because you're self-fucking conscious about your body? Especially if he's seen it dozens of times in the 6 fucking months you've been together!

- DON'T LOOK AT ME; I LOOK GROSS (She grabs her belly fat and jiggles it while on top of you). Stop that shit!


- CAN WE WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT? (That way you can turn off the lights and you don't have to look at him/her)


- DAMN BABY, I CAN'T WAIT TO BEAT THAT PUSSY UP! I'm sure EVERY woman dreams of meeting a man who'll bruise and batter her pussy to the point where she's sore and has to heal for 2-3 days because you think jackhammering the fuck out of her was what she wanted!

- DID YOU CUM YET? If you have to ask, no comment.

- IS IT IN? Damn!


- SHIFT TO THE LEFT A LITTLE BABE. (He can't see the TV) Fuck you sideways!

- IS IT GOOD FOR YOU? Nope. Now, stop asking stupid questions. You KNOW they're not going to tell you the truth, even if you suck.

- SAY MY NAME BABY/WHAT'S MY NAME? You're a grown-ass man, and you know your fucking name!


- DAMN, THAT WAS WORTH THE MONEY. (Even if joking) Fuck you sideways, in the ass with a tire iron with monkey shit for lubrication!

- WHERE'S THE REMOTE? (When in the middle of fucking)


- DAMN, AGAIN? Again? She's still on her first fucking time!



- DO WE REALLY NEED A CONDOM? I'M CLEAN. The fact that you said that tells me we need 2 or 3 on at the same time!

- WE'D MAKE A CUTE BABY. (Wait, where are you going?)


- WE COULD DO MORE POSITIONS IF YOU WERE SMALLER/WEIGHED LESS. Fuck you with a dirty plunger handle, covered in shit, bacon fat, and herpes, with no lube.

- WHY NOT? MY EX LIKED IT! Eat my ass after I've eaten a whole cheese pizza and 16 ice cream sandwiches, knowing I'm SEVERELY lactose intolerant!


- WAIT! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. (After I've got the dick in?) REALLY?




- DEEPER, BABY DEEPER! (And you've got no more dick to put in her)

- I DIDN'T FART, THAT WAS THE COUCH. (Your couch is made of cloth, not leather, you just farted; own it!)




- I LOVE YOU. It's our 4th date; I'm out!


- HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU DONE THAT WITH? You don't really want the truth. They're always going to either say nobody or the number's going to be at least divided by three.

- DO YOU/HAVE YOU EVER EATEN ASS BEFORE? No! And I intend to keep that tradition alive!




- YOU'RE BIGGER THAN YOU LOOK ON YOUR PROFILE. Fuck you! One day I hope you get jumped and gang-raped by a horde of Syphilis-infested honeybees!

- HOLD ON, LET ME TAKE MY TEETH OUT FIRST. Ummm, DAMN? Wait, not so fast; that shit sounds interesting.

- I THINK THE CONDOM ROLLED OFF INSIDE ME; I CAN FEEL IT IN THERE (Baby, I didn't use a condom!) ewwwwwww!







Light Truth

An ongoing series of Light Truths


Jan 25, 2021


     He doesn't want to wear a condom because you haven't required him to wear one; you've made it an option instead of a demand. You like him and don't want to upset him or make him think you're a slut who sleeps around. He'll accuse you of not trusting him when you ask him to wear a condom; you're afraid he's going to make a big issue of it, and he'll have someone to have sex with him without one.

     It was your first time, so it's safe. He said you couldn't get pregnant if you did it standing up or with you on top. He told you there was nothing to be afraid of because he'll pull out first. He accused you of not being in love with him. He told you it's not sex because you can't feel anything with a condom on. It's not sex because it's only oral. Condoms cost too much, money and they're unnecessary. He said taking a shower right after or when she gets home will wash it all out. You can't get pregnant if you do it in a swimming pool; chlorine kills sperm.

     In our teens, this was the shit we used to manipulate our way into sex without protection. There were fewer things to worry about back then. Sure, STDs were out there, but that was far outside the scope of what we were concerned with; to us, teen pregnancy was the only thing we knew of and wanted to avoid; everything else was grown-up problems only adults had to worry about. The same thing happened when HIV/AIDS arrived in mainstream America; it was viewed strictly as a homosexual disease.

     Now that we're older and supposedly wiser, we continue to harbor the same juvenile-style thinking regarding unprotected sex. Men continue to avoid condoms if they can get away with it. Men won't wear a condom because women still aren't requiring them to wear one. They think condoms are for young people who are out every weekend, fucking anyone and everyone they meet. Condoms aren't sexy, and they take away from the passion. They still say they can't feel anything. It's not sex because condoms take away from how it's supposed to be, and it's unnatural. They tell you it isn't enjoyable for him, and he can't cum when he's wearing it. They'll blame condoms for why you can't orgasm.

     He still believes having oral sex shouldn't require a condom. He's aware by now there are oral STDs, but he views having his dick sucked while wearing a condom as the same as getting a hand job from a woman wearing rubber dishwashing gloves or oven mitts. He tells you he can't get hard or stay hard when he puts a condom on. He hates the touch, smell, feeling, and act of taking it off when he's done. It makes him nauseous to do it. He doesn't like condoms because when he does cum, it's all over his dick, and he must wash it off. Condoms take away from the emotional connection. He'll try to convince her it takes away from the romance when he has to get right out of bed to run to the bathroom, slide it off and flush it, and that's why he can't lie there and hold her afterward.

     He won't wear a condom because he says your birth control is good enough; there's nothing else to worry about because he's clean. Even if it's a first date/first night fuck, he assumes you don't have anything either. As far as he knows, he's clean, and his immune system will fight off anything she could have as if he could share his with her. He doesn't care about the truth anyway; he can always go to the doctor and get antibiotics if he does catch something. If either of you did have anything, you'd be upfront and honest with each other, but since she hasn't said anything, it's safe to wander out into the swamp without your rubber waders on. He still uses the "Pull out" defense.

     He's convinced her that wearing a condom is why they don't have sex as often as they used to. He'd want it more if she didn't make him wear one. He thinks not wearing a condom makes their sex better and lasts longer. He knows you'll also enjoy it more. Of course, that's true because you're going skin to skin, generating more satisfaction from the friction of motion. The warm, slippery feeling of penetration, movement and stimulation will be more satisfying without the film of rubber between you. At what cost? Because they're both working harder to get off. She's moving faster with more rhythm, and he's going deeper without challenging, which is going to be natural, and they'll agree that sex without a condom is better.

     He won't wear a condom because it makes him feel like he's not unique to you. He wants to lock her into a relationship, and to have sex without a condom makes him think she wants that too. It's an exciting, forbidden conquest. He wants her to be his and thinks she wants the same thing because she let him inside of her without one. He'll convince her the only way she can prove she loves him or she's not cheating is to let him have sex without a condom and let him finish inside of her.

     Not wearing a condom is a twisted declaration of "Ownership" when he cum's inside of a woman; it's a "Capture the flag" type scenario; especially if she's in a relationship with someone else. He got her to cheat, but she allowed another man to shoot his seed in her. Then send her back home to her man with a part of him inside of her.

     Having to stop, get up, and get a condom is a waste of precious time, killing the mood. It's an interruption that doesn't need to happen. You're both ways too good-looking to have anything, so why stop, get up, get a condom and come back, just to get up 5-7 minutes later to take it off or switch it out for a fresh one? Many men won't wear a condom because they have no idea how to put one on properly. They shove it on all the way, so there's nowhere for his fluid to go. So it goes up the sides of the condom and out through the base. They'll unroll the entire thing and try to slip it on over their dick the same way a woman slips on her pantyhose. Either way, she's looking at him, thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?"

     He won't wear a condom because he says he's too big for them. On the chance that's true, most women aren't going to let you inside of her anyway if your dick's too big for a condom; not just because she's not into unprotected sex, but because she doesn't want to end up in the ER with anything ripped or torn. A man can only fit so much dick inside a woman, and he can still wear a condom; it'll just look like a short sleeve on his dick. It may not cover the entire shaft, but if appropriately worn can still protect against pregnancy and STDs.

     He's worried she'll pre-judge his dick and performance by the size of his condoms. He doesn't want to wear a condom because he's embarrassed by the extent he has to buy or wear it. No man wants to walk up to the cashier and hand over a box of smaller than average-sized condoms on the belt. Every man wants to stroll up to the cute girl at the checkout line, chest sticking out like a proud, battle-hardened Spartan, and drop that commercially recognizable box of rubbers explicitly made for the more significant, "Mandingo" dicks like it's no big thing. Even though they have to hold on to it the entire time they're having sex to keep from losing it or having it slide off just by sheer gravity.

     He doesn't want to wear a condom because she's fucking hot; he'll determine his need for a condom based on how she looks. If she's beautiful with a great body, he'll try harder to avoid using a condom. The more attractive she is, the "Cleaner" he believes she is, even if they just met. The less attractive or overweight she is, he'll relate that to her being nasty with an STD already and possibly looking to land a relationship or get pregnant.

     He doesn't want to wear a condom because she's older. The chances of her getting pregnant at her age is less likely than average. If she had something, she'd know it. He's younger and thinks there's no need for a condom because she's not going to outlast him and make him cum. He'll make her pass out from exhaustion and wear her out before he even gets close, so what's the reason to wear a condom? He tells her it's hard to make him cum, or he doesn't usually cum at all, so condoms are pointless. When he does shoot off his load after just 30 seconds, he'll tell her that's never happened before and say she felt so good; she's a fucking miracle of biology to be able to make him cum. He'll try to turn it around as a compliment to her, right before he sticks his thumb in his mouth, rolls over, and falls asleep.

     His last woman hated them; she didn't make him wear one, and by proxy, neither should you. He got checked right before his previous REAL relationship; never mind the 8-10 one-night stands, fuck buddies, or short-term relationships he's had since then. He's never gotten anyone pregnant before. She's got nothing to worry about because he has a low sperm count.


     He's worried she'll think he has something if he wants to put one on. She's scared he'll think she has something if she tells him to put one on. They've been together long enough they've outgrown the need or use for them.

      He lied about not having one and tried to convince her it was safe. He insisted he was clean and would pull it out when he was close. He made it about trust, even though they just met. When he finally realized it wasn't going to happen and she started pulling up her pants or her dress down, he stepped up, acted like he just remembered he had one, and offered to get it. By then, she's pissed because she knows he lied and tried to trick her. Now she's never going to talk to him again. To him, if she's so adamant about condoms, then she should be the one to buy them. She's the one who should always have them handy! Why should he have to spend money on something he's convinced he doesn't need? He had to pay for the entire date; at least she could do is buy the rubbers.



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